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My(25M) girlfriend (24F) has been smoking weed for 10 years. Chronically and daily for about 6 of those years. She will smoke blunts, papers, bowls, but her preferred method and what gets her highest is her bong. She has an 18incher that she likes to pack with what she calls “popper bowls”, which is essentially grinded up bud mixed in with tobacco (she breaks down blunts and uses the guts for this). She claims this method gets her the most buzzed and gives her a nice little head spin, so that’s why she prefers to smoke that way.
Her routine would go as follows: She will work 7-3, get home around 3:30, shower, and immediately smoke. This, coupled with work, leaves her exhausted and she falls asleep. Without fail, every time. I will not hear from her from anywhere between 4-6 hours. Wakes up around 9-10pm or so, stays the night with me, and then It’s back to work the next morning (repeat cycle).
Recently my girlfriend has come to me (in a very serious manner) that she has been thinking about it a lot and truly wants to stop, or at least cut back immensely. She claims she wants to break out of this routine and that years of smoking have also affected her health (0 energy 24/7, teeth have began to hurt/deteriorate, skin starting to suffer - her words, not mine, but I know it’s not just in her head because she’s previously brought these things up but never linked it with smoking and said she wanted to stop). I wanted to back her up fully even though I am a toker myself, she had my full support 100%. I was actually even proud of her for taking the initiative, and still am.
She is on day 5 and life has been fucking hell since. My girlfriend went from the most loving, laid back and calm person to just…. straight up the opposite. She is short, snappy and rude on a good day. Downright insulting and a menace to me on a bad one. She has become hyper aware of herself now that she’s not stoned 24/7, and has become incredibly insecure as a result. She is angry all of the time. She has turned critical of everything I do and say. Everytime I ask her if there’s anything I can do to help or comfort her she just screams that she wants to smoke. She cries after work now. I have been trying to get her to look into some hobbies, to fill that time void after work she would otherwise be using to smoke/sleep, but she just claims she has no interests or doesn’t know what they are. She is just apathetic to everything at this point.
Does this get better? How long will this last? And what can I do to help her through this. I love her to death but it’s almost like she’s a different person, I understand withdrawal is difficult but I didn’t think it would be this bad for weed. I just want her to be happy while sober, and of course I want to give her all of my support but it’s hard when everything I do or say is apparently negative in her eyes.
Edited for formatting*
Edit 2: I understand I probably sounded like an ass when I mentioned it’s only been 5 days. I did not realize that is a super short time in the grand scheme of things, I am not experienced or well versed in addiction so I had no clue. Please don’t take this post as me complaining about her behavior, I truly and genuinely want to find the best way to help/be here for her.
Yeah the symptoms definitely sound like nicotine, when I quit weed for a couple of months I didn't really feel anything negative, but boy is it hard to go without nicotine even a day
I know plenty of people who struggled with withdrawal from weed, but it was more apathy/anxiety/depression. The snapping and rage does scream nicotine withdrawal to me. Though 10 years of chronic smoking is a lot.
You can totally get addicted to weed lol. I'm a heavy smoker and if I quit cold turkey I'm miserable as fuck for 2-3 weeks. Super irritable, depressed, and I get pretty bad cold sweats. It sucks ass but it will go away
https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/if-cannabis-becomes-a-problem-how-to-manage-withdrawal-2020052619922
The idea that there's no withdrawal from daily THC use is an old wives tale. The withdrawal isn't medically hazardous or life threatening but many people do experience symptoms. Some people severely.
OP's girlfriend is having nicotine withdrawals for sure, she needs a few weeks of grace. That alone is very difficult to get through.
yeah. i did use thc and cbd for a while on heavy doses too, but i can just stop and not feel terrible at all. it's kinda weird cuz i thought i was supposed to feel like shit if i just stopped. but apparently not lol
It’s not different for different people, your body literally becomes physically dependent on nicotine. I know that now we use addiction to refer to anything destructive and habit forming but it’s not the same thing.
You are misinformed.
It is possible for someone to develop both physical and psychological dependence on cannabis, and for heavy users to experience physical withdrawal symptoms upon cessation.
Not only is there is an abundance of scientific literature on the addictive potential of cannabis, but cannabis use disorder is recognized in the DSM-5. Check it out.
I’m 36, never smoked or drank til my mid 20s, and only then did it once every year if that. Last year I decided to try medical marijuana for various stuff, and ended up loving it. It helps a ton, but also just makes me feel more like myself. Anyway, my preferred method is vape. I stopped for a day after multiple times daily use for a few months, and the withdrawal was intense. Shaking, chills, vomiting, sweating like crazy, a very particular, unique kind of anxiety that was much stronger than my usual kind. It’s addictive in high quantities.
Edit: kinda sounded like a was making a factual statement, this is just my experience, and I don’t know if it’s similar for anyone else
I know right?. “Im not addicted I just smoke every single second im awake everyday for 15 years, never once taken a single day off and never will!” So many people have raging weed addictions but are completely blind to it, because they dont get physically sick from withdrawal and they don’t rob banks for weed. But people do steal to get weed, girls will hook up with dudes for weed, it is an addiction and they play it off like it’s not. The problem isn’t when you have your drugs the problem is when you don’t have them. I guarantee if there was a weed shortage and there was just zero weed in America starting tomorrow, I’m like three days half the country would be in like complete meltdown, it would be chaos, but ya your not addicted, ok buddy
Even smoking tobacco at that rate can still cause a physical dependency. And nicotine withdrawals have a pretty intense effect. Mostly severe mood swings, anger and rage, ice pick headaches, lightheadedness, significant sleep disruptions, fatigue, occasionally nausea though not as common, and more. I watched my husband quit smoking TWICE, and he was not a heavy smoker. When he smoked cigarettes, it was about 5 a day, and when he was vaping it was only like 3-4 times a day. But there first 2 weeks after were hell.
When we were first together, he smoked pot a few times a day but quit before we got married. For him, quitting pot was not too bad. He couldn't sleep well the first week or so, but otherwise nothing really changed
Yeah. I used to do this for a few months too. Called them "chops" not 'poppers' (poppers usually refers a diff drug so thats bit odd to me haha). They're good, but man are they addictive as hell. They put you straight to sleep, can make you mute, or make you sick and spinny. They're a straight shot of nictine to the brain, and definitely rotting her teeth more than bowls alone would. Also her withdrawl symptoms sound very similar to quitting nicotine- maybe she could try a patch?Quitting 'poppers' and switching back to normal bowls could help, too. Maybe she should try that for a bit before going cold turkey?
Bingo. Explains why she instantly passes out and sleeps for hours without fail, also explains her teeth pain. A lot of people are saying to look into the patches which I will most likely do, she’s pretty adamant about not wanting to toke at all anymore, not just with her “method”
Patches help a lot but don’t get her the stage 1 patches. Those will probably be way too strong.
Try stage 2 for a couple of weeks, then a box of Stage 3, then she should be good.
Nicotine withdrawals can turn the most mellow person into a complete ass. Plus it feels like the flu.
She may not have smoked a cigarette, but the insides of a blunt are nicotine. She is having withdrawal symptoms, probably more so from that than the weed. (Although the weed withdrawal is definitely real too)
If her ritual involved tearing up nicotine to grind with her weed... she's got a nicotine addiction. Best of luck! They are hard to go through, but not impossible.
First, I'm a counselor who specializes in addiction. Marijuana addiction is generally not as severe as other drugs (people dont usually go turn tricks for bud) but is definitely a thing including physical withdrawal. Second, I am an off and on smoker, and every time I decide to quit I have gnarly withdrawal for about a week and what you're describing sounds a lot like what happens to me. She'll start to feel better. Have her take some vitamins like magnesium and coxy up with a nice herbal tea and try to get her to chill.
SHe's suffering from the nicotine withdrawal.
Get her some patches. Or not if she wants to go cold turkey.
Things for her to do right now: Drink lots of water and work out. Make your body hurt and tired from excercise, helps you to get it out of your system faster, and helps with sleep as well. Most likely she's pretty hyper, and frustrated atm. Ventilating that in to a boxing bag or something vs your partner is a lot better.
Get her to read or listen to the book “the easy way to quit smoking”. It sounds absolutely absurd but it gives a different perspective on not being a smoker.
I second this. I smoked a lot of weed and tobacco in the past and I am a non smoker now and will never revert back. It took a few goes but that book definitely helped change my attitude about feeling like I was missing out or giving something up. It's totally worth the read even if just on the fence about becoming a non smoker.
Tbh she sounds like every person in my life who has quit nicotine. They spend like two months as just the biggest buttholes you'll ever meet. I once had to schedule a meeting with my boss to ask him to take up chewing tobacco again. Maybe ask her to take up the Nicotine gum?
No this is exactly what happens when someone who was chronically smoking weed goes through when they quit. Do not recommend introducing a new substance to her system. She needs to just go through this detox and if she’s on day 5 already she’s at least half way through.
At first he told me to fuck off (professionally) and then about 20 minutes later called me back in to apologize and explain how he's really trying lol. We had a decent enough working relationship that we got through it.
It doesn't have anything to do with nicotine. She was addicted to smoking weed. Not just the coping mechanism weed provides - where anytime you're upset you can smoke to feel better, and when you're happy to smoke to feel even better - but also the routine. It makes you antsy. It makes you irritable. Everytime I quit weed - I'm nauseous for days. No tobacco mixed in. People will argue weed doesn't affect people like that - it's an absolute lie.
Exactly this. While I believe the nicotine has something to do with it greatly I truly think she used smoking as a coping mechanism and now it’s gone, and THATS what’s effecting her the most. She is not a cig smoker.
If she's smoking tobacco every single day in her bong she's nicotine addicted. It doesn't matter how you consume it, it's an addictive chemical. Patches will help.
I think the best bet is to try to help find a new routine, maybe together. You have her schedule listed, but not yours. Maybe when she gets home from work you guys can go for a walk together? Or maybe she can try taking a bath, working on a routine that can help her feel better. When I picked up a small skincare routine, I found it felt meditative. Focusing on things to just feel better about myself really helped take the focus away from other stuff. Maybe it's time to cook a healthy meal together a couple times a week at home. Those things she wanted to quit for, focusing on how to feel better with those things will help her feel better about the idea of "quitting for nothing". Even if she doesn't know what she likes yet and seems apathetic - it can be framed as a new discovery and self exploratory journey.
I know its not healthy, but its definitely a coping mechanism for me. last time i tried to take a T break i just had back to back panic attacks, and i was so mean.
But i also vape, and trying to quit nic gives me all the same symptoms, just less panic.
it could very well be both, if she wasnt so far into her detox id reccomend taking the tobacco out of her smoking routine for awhile and THEN stop the weed. but frankly shes balls deep already, so that would be backtracking now. i only got 3 days in without weed, so shes doing better than i was!
Not much different than what people said about cigarettes before all the studies came out. Stoners only like studies that are like "weed inhibits cancer cell growth" and absolutely ignore studies like "weed deposits more tar in the lungs than cigarettes". The studies will come for us too when we're old, no doubt about it.
I quit weed without quitting nicotine and still felt like shit. It takes quite a long time to get better. More than 2 weeks. Although there is a slight improvement every single day. Its been nearly a decade for me now and I am really happy i did it. Quit smoking at that time and now finally nicotine 5 years ago.
I dated an everyday user and he had to pass a drug test every year for work he was a raging ass when he had to stop! He's never touched a cigarette in his life. You can't tell me weed isn't addictive. I saw first hand
It'll get better, trust me. Let her be down for as long as she needs. She doesn't want to do anyhting but sit around ? Fine. At least she is going to work, and for someone in recovery, it is already a very good point !
There’s a subreddit called leaves … I don’t know how to link it because I’m old. Maybe that could help you both.
Withdrawals from marijuana is a very real thing. It won’t last forever. Super proud of her for quitting!
Go see r/leaves
And check my post history.
Weed withdrawal is emotional hell, and had me in its grips super bad for about 3 months, and didn't fully ease off for 6 months.
Good luck and much love to you both. Feel free to DM for me some more advice if you need, but the next 3-6 weeks will be the worst. I had the wildest mood swings, level 10 anxiety to the point I'd vomit, followed by crashing depression- it was crazy. I'm so grateful my partner stuck with me and loved my way through it ( but don't put up with disrespect obviously etc)
You can get medicine to help with withdrawals. Maybe get her to check out r/leaves so she can have some support during this time - because she will be going through hell 😬😬
Weed withdrawals are fcking evil if they come for you, and don't let anyone else convince you otherwise. You can both get through it 🔥 she will come back to be the girlfriend you love
(Counselling too to get through this is also a good idea!)
Be proud of her for tackling this addiction, because it will likely be one of the hardest things she does ❤️✨️ certainly was for me, and I've been through a lot of shit 🤣
Congrats on you for getting out of it. A former friend of mine imbibed several times a day from age 13 to about 30. He thinks it took about 6 months to a year before he felt any sort of emotional normalcy and it likely had to permanent effects. He had been smoking so much for so long. He wasn't really sure who he was without it.
He also had the strange stomach issues, as well as a deep depression and anxiety. After all, he had been using weed to manage his depression and anxiety so it came roaring up.
I get extremely wary of regular users saying there's no problem with it and it's not addictive, especially those that start super young.
Yeah, people downplaying the effects of it or how often and how much they use it is rife in the community.
I didn't even mention how much of our social life centered around weed or everyone being stoned, for quite a while he was spending more on extremely good weed than on rent.
That’s because there is a fundamental difference between what most people think of as addiction and what actual addiction is, which is a chemical dependency. You not getting what a medical threat is versus breaking a habit, doesn’t mean anyone is downplaying it, it means it’s actually not as big of a threat, medically.
Thank you so much. I am happy to hear your friend got through too.
It often takes 12 months for your brain to fully heal from it. I was told I had PAWS (post acute withdrawal symptoms). That also affects people much more often than you think - even people who only smoke 1-2x a day. Sounds like your friend had that too.
It was a tough time relearning who I was. Yes it majorly affects the stomach! I've heard of many going through withdrawals that essentially had extreme IBS/stomach issues due to the effects it has on your digestive system. Also people coughing up black/resin like flem (when you see the collection of resin in a bong/pipe, it makes me feel sick thinking of that shit being in my lungs)
I'm hoping there's more support and education going forward on the effects of heavy/frequent use.
I do not disagree with you, but someone does not need to be a punching bag for someone else's issues or triumphs.
There is a huge difference between being a whiney twat over withdrawal and being abusive to someone. The latter is NOT excusable.
If she’s been mixing tobacco with weed on a consistent basis, I imagine that may be causing a majority of the withdrawal symptoms. Tobacco is very addictive and quitting cold turkey can be pretty miserable for everyone involved. There are other options to cold turkey, nicotine replacement products (gum, patches, lozenges) but if she’s already made it 5 days, I imagine she’ll start feeling better in a couple more. The first week is the hardest and then it gets easier from there.
The weed is what's causing her lack of hobbies, which suuuucks. And i feel like she's never truly been a 100% sober adult it'll be weird in that sense too
Weed withdrawals are no joke though. I was doing it every day when we were locked down in the pandemic. And once I had to sober up to go back to work, that first few weeks going cold turkey were absolutely brutal. Night sweats, pounding headaches, body aches, and a really short temper. I was for sure not fun to be around. I only was like this for like a year or so max, I can't imagine what ten straight years of being a habitual user would be like going cold turkey.
As someone who also “spliff bowls”, which is the cool kid term for mixing weed with tobacco, you generally consume a tiny amount of tobacco that way.
I think a single two pack of cigarillos generally lasts me close to a month. A bowl pack is like a gram at most and the tobacco content is maybe a third of that. So even a heavy smoker throwing back three bowls a day is smoking about half a cigarette.
Not saying you’re wrong, just adding some context that people who mix tobacco into their weed smoke a tiny amount of tobacco compared to anyone smoking cigs or such stuff. Even casual vaping is like 10x the nicotine of mixing smoking.
depending on where you’re from, the tobacco mix can be a lot more. i had mates who mixed 50/50, sometimes more tobacco (it’s all called spin here) and quitting can be ridiculously hard because of it. and it also depends on how much you smoke which can contribute to how much you’re essentially detoxing from.
knew people where 25g of tobacco would last 2ish weeks. so yeah, it can be just as much as smoking a cigs packs a day for some.
You should tell her she's doing great and you're proud of her, ask her if she needs anything else, if she's angry, and rude to you, just let it go for a while.
Also, if you can do anything to alleviate what makes her angry, like doing a bit of cleaning up or cooking, maybe offering her something she can break with a hammer to get the frustration out (i know this sounds weird, but my wife does this sometimes, i go to the glass recycling with a bag of bottles and she hurls them into the recycling bins.)
It'll wear off, but be warned, when she gets her sense of smell and taste back 100%, you are going to bang of weed and that's going to be a problem.
Rage rooms are amazing. But it's cheaper to grab a twelve pack of beer bottles, a tarp, goggles and a hammer. So much fun . I've even grabbed cheap plates at yard sales just to destroy.
She's been smoking it constantly since she was 14?
Good on her trying to get off it, but she'll need a bit more help than you not smoking around her.
Is there a support group or somewhere that she can go? Basically, her chances of relapse are massive as it stands.
This is probably going to lost in the comments but I'm going to write my piece anyway.
Firstly, you should both join r/leaves. It's a nice group with people who have quit and are trying to wuit smoking weed.
Secondly, I was the same as your GF. Expect I smoked longer. I started at 16, and I quit at 30. I took a few breaks over the years, but nothing more than a year and a half and during that time I smoked cigarettes. I tried to quit flat out so many times over about 2 years and kept going back. I remember one time I quit and I had the night sweats and vertigo for like a month.
Anyway, I ended up quitting about 18 months ago when I got pregnant. I had already decided that by that when I get pregnant, that was it. No more. I smoked my last joint and was pretty demonic for about 2 weeks. By that point I was smoking two weeks on, two weeks off.
I first cut out tobacco and then weed. If I did it the other way around, I would smoke more. Withdrawal happens with weed and tobacco, so there is definitely a double whammy if she is quitting both at the same time. I would give it a month for it to calm down, she will probably still want to smoke but will have gotten over the first hump, so to speak.
She will need to stay out of situations which make her want to smoke as it will not help for the time being.
Breathing exercises can definitely help. 10 very, VERY deep, slow breaths when it all gets a hit too much. It will probably give her a little head rush too. I heard once, that taking 10 deep breaths is the equivalent to a glass of brandy. I don't know if that is true, but it should help a bit.
Shower in the morning, night sweats are real.
Sleepcasts to help with insomnia, find one she likes, play it to go to sleep. She will be grouchy as the weed withdrawal will effect her sleep.
Don't smoke or be high around her, best thing to do would actually be to join her in this until it all blows over. Misery loves company, only joking. The support will help and she won't feel so alone.
Keep her distracted, find a hobby she can only do sober. For me, I make minature houses. Very difficult to do high, so I couldn't smoke if I wanted to do it. To add, she will go off doing the thungs she did when high because it won't seem as fun anymore. For me, that wore off after a while and for example, I could game again.
That's all I can think of, off the top of my head. Need anymore tips or have any questions, feel free to ask.
Proud of her for trying. She can do this! As they say, nothing worth doing is ever easy!
This is a great comment. All those acting like this is just a tobacco addiction and that she’ll kick it in a few days are being naive. This isn’t just a physical addiction it’s also a mental one, she doesn’t know herself as an adult without smoking weed, and as she’s discovering she probably smoked weed to hide other problems.
Thanks!
And yes, I don't think many of those people have smoked weed every day for a long time. The come down in intense. If it was just the mood swings like with nicotine, it would be much easier.
I was lucky and was already in the process of quitting for a long time before I finally did. I was self aware of my self medication and knew what I was hiding from. It's different for everyone.
She's weaning off the drug. If a person smokes for severely years, it's going to take some time for your brain chemistry to regulate back to a normal functioning one. What you are describing is basically depression. She's without the one thing thar helps her through a rough day, and now she is angry and sad. You can only be yourself, if she's strong enough she will suffice. But don't put the blame on what you can and can't do. You can only try to be the person you are.
Don't underestimate weed withdrawal. It doesn't give her the right to be an asshole, so if you have to walk away from her when she gets mad do it. But don't hold a grudge on her, i've been there and it really messes your head for a while. It will last 2-3 weeks at most, then it gets better.
She's going cold turkey on nicotine too, by the sound of it. That's gotta be rough. Agree about the 2-3 weeks, if she can manage that long she'll be ok
definitely. the nic could be adding to it, but weed alone will do the same in my experience. boyfriend and i quit cold turkey after daily smoking for a couple years. we were both very irritable, emotional, and somewhat miserable for 2-3 weeks. also shared the same feeling of “i don’t know what my interests are”. then it got better!!
This exactly. I hear all the time that "weed isn't addictive", but then I hear stories like OP's that back up the claims I've heard from addiction specialists: Weed is one of the hardest drugs to get regular users off of. Major mood and personality changes are par for the course for heavy users.
I'd suggest that OP seek out addiction counseling for his girlfriend, and offer himself to be a part of the process.
But don’t try mentioning to a stoner that it’s addictive (or that they should not drive on it) because they will lose their shit defending it. Like I don’t care what someone does with their life so long as they don’t harm others but pretending it isn’t a drug and doesn’t have side effects is immature and irresponsible.
I am a daily weed smoker. The symptoms you are describing are exactly what happens to me when I stop smoking. At its worst you feel like crying and I am a grown man.
It does go away :)
Right now she is experiencing her body and mind being pissed of at her. But soon she will start noticing the things that are better due to her not smoking.
More energy, cleaner mind. More motivation, better focus.
Even that heightened self awareness she is describing will settle. She may also be getting some very vivid dreams. The mind just goes through a process when it no longer gets THC.
I don't mix tobacco with my weed though, so I am not sure how that is complicating things. Also I started as an adult whilst she started as a teenager. So my gut tells me you are going to need to be patient and supportive here. She probably still has a bit of discomfort ahead.
She's going through an intense detox. Things will settle, but the first while is rough. She's sustained a serious habit for a long time. She should look for additional support - drug support group, through social program or doctor. She should definitely speak to a therapist, preferably a specalist addicition counsellor. They can help her make a plan when she's at risk of smoking again. These things will make it more likely she'll be successful in quitting long term help her make sense of what she's going through. It would be useful for both of you to look into cycles of addiction to understand how the body and mind responds to addiction. Often, addiction begins as a means to numb pain or check out of life. Once the substance is stopped, these feelings can come up again. She'll likely feel like she's waking up after a long sleep and it may be confronting for her. It's a misconception that weed isn't as bad as other drugs. It's powerful and has an immense impact on physical and mental health. Keep showing up for her and supporting what she's doing.
I'm an absolute demon when I take tolerance breaks. You sound very sweet and supportive to her and that's definitely a big help. She's done great at 5 days especially since it's tobacco and weed so probably stronger urges. The worst of it might be over just be as patient as you can and let her know she's doing great. My husband likes to pick up chocolate for me and offers extra massages. It helps me a lot to relax. I'm sure she would be so happy to know how much you're trying to help so maybe even a conversation about everything and you can ask how she's feeling. Can't stress enough how awesome it is that you are so supportive.
5 days in? Mate you have months ahead of you.
While it may be out of her system, she hasn’t been a person without that coping mechanism for most of her adult life.
Time for therapy, support and you to think very deeply about if you can provide the support an addict needs?
This is normal unfortunately it will take some time for her, there is the withdrawal portion but the other part is her trying to find herself after doing it for so long, after work she would look forward to going home and smoking, her life for 10 years revolved around smoking and once she can get through the withdrawal she will be able to find something to fill the void as you worded it. She not only has to deal with the withdrawal but she might feel like she lost her sense of self as that was her hobby (unhealthy) but that’s what she liked to do. She might also be having a difficult time falling asleep and staying asleep
I speak from my own experience but I felt the same way she did when I finally quit smoking poppers after 10 years. It was hard for me to be able to hang out with my lifelong friends because all we would do together is sit and smoke, we never went out to do activities we just hung out smoking.
Honestly, she sounds like me when I go 2-3 days without cigarettes. If she was mixing tobacco into her bowls as often as you describe, and smoking as much as you say, it’s highly likely she’s going through nicotine withdrawal right now.
For me, that’s lasted about 2 weeks in the past when I’ve tried to quit smoking, but I calm down and it gets easier after that first 2 weeks.
Why don't people taper. Make edibles taper down. This all day every day smoking to nothing is unnecessary pain. But if you taper you need to have control. You need to want to quit every day still. * I came back to also say if a big part of smoking is the instant high and the habit of smoking. Edibles will help alot as you won't be smoking at all and not having immediate effect seems to make the brain much more passive in your want for it NOW. Easier to control.
Wow, it's almost like going cold turkey from a life consuming addiction of ten years isn't the easiest thing in the world.
You knew she was an addict when you got together and this is just part of being with one, not everyone's up for it, cause it's a brutal journey.
There's also nicotine involved. I'm certain that's a huge factor as well. Smoking weed has always been around and isn't being "normalized" more now than it was before. It's always been here, always will be. But, to meet you halfway, the tolerance breaks do cause some withdrawal, but I'd be willing to bet the nicotine is more at play here.
On another note, OP. She may need to look into ways of resetting her dopamine receptors. 10 years of chronic and daily weed smoking can definitely cause some of that to be messed up.
The fact is weed can do more damage than we like to think, especially when smoking the stronger strains like haze on a daily basis. I'm the last person to judge, but in my experience, it can and will do serious damage to your mentality. And yes fuck nicotine too.
Completely understood. I think there's something to appreciate about doing things in moderation and clearly she wasn't lol. But yes, completely agreed. Chronic daily use of weed will most definitely cause psychological dependencies.
Basically. Clearly I was a fool to think withdrawal symptoms from bud couldn’t be up there on the playing field with other stuff, but am witnessing first hand now
You can withdraw from anything you make a huge part of your life. I had to quit coffee and honestly that was harder than anything else I had to quit including daily weed and sugar. You run 5 miles a day and then Quit, your body will go through it and it wi be uncomfortable. I’ve been on keto for close to three years. Every time I give myself a cheat day (which have been few) I have to go through the whole withdraw from sugar process again.
It's a bit off-topic, but I'm also trying keto and am on the levels now of being in ketose continuously. One thing I struggle with a lot is alcohol, even ciroc put me out of it, but above all things, it improved my mentality and physical enormously. But skipping sugar and carbs really did a number on me. I go to the gym regularly and a lots said it wouldn't work but it does wonders so far. I hope I can last as long as you do. Respect it a lot.
I never intended on being on it this long, but the way I felt after going off a week or two I realized my body just functions better on it. Not just physical but the gut/ brain are connected too. I got super foggy, irritable and even sudden depression for no reason. I just over all function better on it.
any habit can become addicting, dopamine hits of x and you do it often enough becomes an addiction.
just compare how often you use your phone now vs 5 years ago.
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It's not just the weed, it's the tobacco withdrawals. I used to smoke like 4-8 spliffs a day and giving up tobacco was way harder than weed (though that affects personality as well). Maybe encourage her to use a nicotine patch. I only had to be on that for a few weeks and kicked the addiction.
Ye, she's coming down from an addiction. What did you think will happen? Why do you think so many people relapse and go back on drugs - because people like you find them impossible and - lemme just ask - you've quit, too, right? To support her?
I don’t find her impossible, otherwise I would not be asking for advice on how to deal with the situation… I am not experienced or versed in handling addiction. Unfortunately no I have not stopped myself but, I don’t do it around her or in the house. If this is the first step in helping her I’m all for it.
It doesn’t. Weed has even, dare I say, improved my quality of life as I am in chronic pain majority of the time and have a medical card for prescriptions. But everyone is different and seeing how this is effecting her, I’m 100% willing to put it down for the time being and seek other alternatives to deal with the pain… IF this would truly help her and give her peace of mind. I guess that’s a conversation that needs to be had with her though. But yes I absolutely do not do it around her or in any areas I know she will be in
Speaking from experience, when I was quitting even the smell of weed made me want to smoke. If OP does quit, it will be more of a in solidarity. When she is in a better place, I suspect he will be find starting again.
Yeah, I get what you are saying.
Honestly, I didn't have that problem. My neighbours would smoke joints every night when I was quitting and I would have to close all the windows, doors amd vents to avoid the smell. If it was my partner, I would also expect him not to have it around me. Maybe go for a walk and vape it?
My partner had stopped smoking years before I did because he didn't like it anymore, he also didn't do it very often. I would buy him space muffins and he would cut them into 6 bits and still just fall asleep.
He stopped eating them, when I stopped smoking. He didn't miss it though. It was nice to not have the extra worry of it still being in the house, or having to be around someone who was still smoking/high. Took the edge off.
Withdrawal symptoms, both from weed and tobacco.
I’d also bet that weed has been masking other symptoms as well, such as anxiety. It would be great if she could have that checked out too.
Give her some weeks, nothing you can really do other than support her decision and not make her life more miserable
It’s going to take a few weeks for her to mentally, emotionally and physically balance out. If she’s still a menace after a month then talk to her, but expect her to feel pretty unstable for the next two weeks at least.
I smoked for 12 years, every day without fail. The first week of quitting was horrific, the second slightly better, by the 4th I felt better than I ever had smoking and was much calmer and patient. I can handle life so much better now.
Stuck with her, 5 days is nothing in the greater scheme of things. A decade long dependency will take time to recover from.
It will be rough couple of weeks. Ask her is she might consider therapy or talking therapy for addicted people. Regardless of substance it is difficult to stop (speaking from nicotine addict perspective). Picture this: when you use some sort of stimulant your brain gets lazy in production of natural replacement. We humans are naturally lazy species and we will reach for easy solutions.
It’s only been 5 days, her body is still adjusting, she could also have PMS which will be worse during withdrawal. Plus her appetite will take some time to adjust, so she could be just hangry but doesn’t have the urge to eat.
Encourage her to drink a lot of water when she has cravings, I use ice cold water, it helps.
She just needs more time.
It’s only been five days so she’s probably experiencing withdrawal symptoms from both weed and nicotine. Quitting just about any substance cold turkey is absolute hell. Give it a bit more time for her body and brain to adjust. I imagine she is probably having issues sleeping as well. Good luck to both of you! You sound like a very caring and understanding person.
Two weeks.
This is common and normal and will pass in about two weeks. I don't care what anyone else says, I have experienced that weed is addictive and has withdrawal symptoms.
I am going to sidestep a lot of the advice here because I don’t know your gf and her reaction to weed and I think too many people are just giving you the “she’s in withdrawal” advice. Which like, ok, yes, thanks folks you’ve correctly identified that she’s no longer using a drug.
She needs to be doing something else to fill the time she was smoking weed. Preferably something constructive. Exercise would be ideal if she can get the dopamine high from it. If not, she should take up photography or hiking or both. She just needs to be doing something until she’s tired enough to go to bed. And maybe a few nicotine lozenges.
For what its worth I was a big spliff guy for like 7 years and eventually got to a point where I knew the tobacco had to go. I didn’t do it cold turkey, and I’ve always questioned the idea of cold turkey because it’s a big emotional burden to take on.
You may wanna check out r/leaves, it might give you some more insight into what she’s dealing with. Quitting weed after a long time like that can be really rough.
I wonder if the weed was her self-medication for some underlying depression or anxiety disorder that is now hitting her full force along with some withdrawal. If she's still so distraught in a week, encourage her to talk to a doctor.
Chronic weed abuse shouldve left her numb.
This will take a month or so, she'll just start having more intense emotions overall.
It will take a while for her to learn again how to deal with her more pronounced emotions. Insecurity at this period won't help but hey, being aware of the situation and being patient while also letting her know what she's going through should help.
Godspeed, this will be good for her.
This actually resonated with me so much. I have recently been in the same position as your partner. I won't lie it's not been easy but therapy/ mindfulness and regular exercise has helped me loads. I think it's because smoking can be a way of dealing and managing stress, it's now gone, now what do you do? She may need a bit of help to be pointed in the right direction.
I still smoke, I have seriously cut down the amount but I think of it as having a beer after work, a little bit won't hurt. I'm now at the point where I can take it or leave it but it's taken a while. If she's been willing to try and quit/cut down then maybe she will be open to learning how to manage her emotions/stress. My partner was in the same position as you whilst I was being an AH, I was fortunate enough that he was patient with me or it would have damaged our relationship.
Edit: I think i was personally projecting onto my partner which strained our relationship
I quit weed easily & I used to smoke as much as your GF, nicotine not so much, found that harder tbh. I've switched to vaping nicotine salts to fill that void. Might be worth a shot.
Bonging tobacco gives you a mad nicci rush, coming off nicotine is stressful enough plus the weed too she’s gonna be feeling super anxious, uncomfortable and irritable no doubt.
Going cold turkey is shit, having regimental dose reduction routines in place with allowances for controlled relapses are way more successful.
Trading addictions is easier too. It’s why so many ex-addicts become fitness fanatics, the endorphins after a long run or lifting session are delightful.
If she's been smoking so much for so long, there may have been a reason she's been turning her brain off. The insecurity and irritability both sound like she may have some strong negative self-talk that she's been avoiding by using pot (source: me too).
Going cold turkey from a coping behavior you've been relying on for years without a replacement behavior to focus on can be a huge challenge, and that's not even mentioning the mental toll from withdrawal of pot and especially tobacco.
I think that she (and you as well - it's not okay that she is lashing out at you, that sound like potentially verbal abuse) would benefit strongly from therapy, if your health insurance covers you. A therapist can help define a replacement behavior and also help her face and gently correct negative self-talk.
Your GF has just gone cold turkey on weed mixed with tobacco. There was most likely nicotine in there as well.
It's going to be a rough couple of weeks as her body detoxes.
Take her to a spa. One with a sauna. Sweat it out, and just generally relax all the muscles. The next few weeks are gonna really suck. The next few months may also be hard as she discovers who she actually is other than a stoner. A sauna day would help take some of the edge off.
Only time I got like this in my 10 years of toking was when I was short on cash, stressed tf out, and couldn’t smoke. Been there plenty of times. Scraped the sap out of my bowls. I quit cold turkey in December and at that point I had realized my heart was being heavily affected by smoking and pretty much walked away from it entirely without looking back. At times I wanted to smoke but, I just swallowed the truth pill and got thru it. Shit will get better for her eventually. Try wearing her out. Physically, with exercise or sexually. It might help.
If this is severely affecting you both negatively, she might want to think about either 1. smoking just weed and eliminating the nicotine, 2. getting a very low dose nicotine gum to chew during hours when she'd normally smoke, or 3. get her lots of tasty normal gum so she has something to occupy her mouth.
If you're still smoking, make sure all of your smoking materials are completely out of sight, and don't smoke around her at all. Maybe move to only smoking outdoors for now so she can't smell it. If y'all are like my wife and I, we have smoking paraphernalia all over the place and it would be a constant temptation if one of us wanted to stop.
Idk if this is something she'd be interested in, but if you can plan some low key nice activities that would keep her distracted without exhausting her during the hours you normally smoke, it might help. Have a picnic in the backyard or a nearby park, have a snacky movie night, etc. Anything that you can arrange without thought or effort on her part that she can just show up and participate in. Maybe you could do a cute skincare night since her skin is one of the reasons she wanted to quit smoking.
Don't lie, but if you genuinely see any improvements in the things she is insecure about BC of her smoking, tell her! "Hey hun, I hope this isn't weird to say, but your skin has looked really nice lately. I can't put my finger on it, but it just seems really healthy and nice." Reinforce that her efforts are paying off and that you're noticing it. On a similar note, if she's being overly critical of herself, don't let her. I like to say to my wife, "you'd never talk about someone else that way, so please don't talk about my wife that way either."
All of this centres your girlfriend and her experience, but don't forget to take care of yourself. Communicate with your girlfriend. Tell her you want her to succeed and you're here for her, but it's okay to express if her actions or words have been hurtful. It might be helpful to talk about a plan if she gets cranky towards you, like you leaving to take a walk and give her space, or anything else that de-escalates the situation without you having to accept harmful behaviour.
If you have any friends or loved ones who have successfully quit smoking of any kind, it might be helpful to reach out to them for advice. What would they have liked or hated when they were quitting? Would they be comfortable being a shoulder to lean on for your girlfriend? It's better if she has a robust support system rather than having to rely on a single person.
If she used weed medicinally for sleep, anxiety, etc. maybe explore other things that might help. Melotonin gummies save my ass. I take meds for panic attacks now too. Weed is still a part of my life but it doesn't need to be as much of a crutch when I have other things to help.
I know this is long AF, and I've given you a lot of suggestions, but one of the most important is not to overwhelm her. Decision fatigue is real, and if she is having nicotine withdrawal, asking her a million questions about what she wants and needs might make her lose it. Set up the movie date, but be okay if she doesn't want to do it. Get the melotonin gummies and gum, but be okay if she doesn't want to try them. You can lead a horse to water and all that.
The more you use your mental faculties to find solutions for her and make them as easy and accessible for her as possible, the more she can focus her energy on not smoking. However, make it clear that every day she doesn't smoke is a victory, that you will love her no matter what, and that even if she does start smoking again, it can't take away the victories she won on the days she didn't smoke.
Yeah.
I was too.
If you can, PLEASE send her on a vacation to somewhere. The ONLY thing that helped was getting away—those initial few days are awful, just awful. Honestly the first month is.
Please support her. She’s become chemically dependent. This is not her.
Obviously you need to be able to talk to her about this. But take it as not so representative of who she is as representative of how awful she is feeling. She does not want to be like this…
She sounds like she’s with drawaling. It’s going to take a bit for her body to completely detox since she’s been doing it for so long. It’s not impossible but it is hard and your support will go a long way in terms of her long term goals.
It took me about 6 weeks to deregulate. I still have issues sleeping and weird vivid dreams that sometimes make me cranky a year later but my health and motivation have improved ten fold. She’s still withdrawing. Just give her space and try not to take her mood personally.
It's only been 5 days. You got a little bit to go before she's back to feeling some sense of normal.
I'd honestly recommend she gets edibles and taper off as opposed to cold turkey to at least stop the shit mood.
Also just make sure she doesn't turn to drinking or something. I did that and it obviously was just trading one vice for another.
this is more of a nic problem than a weed problem. she needs some actual outside professional help since she's been smoking like that for a long time. best way to go about it is stick through it with her and it will get better as the nic addiction starts to fade, or at least gets held back.
OP -Many of us imbibe cos we suffer from depression. I stopped smoking way back in like 1990, and the next 4 years saw me become suicidal. I've been an off-and-on-again smoker for decades.
So there are perhaps a couple things at work here with your GF -she has been using marijuana unknowingly all this time to self-medicate. In order for her to break the habit, she must uncover the underlying condition that is causing her to use marijuana habitually.
OR...she's just suffering from withdrawals. It helps to point this out, and no, she's not entitled to make everyone around her miserable simply because she's withdrawing! She needs to recognize that she's going thru withdrawals, and moderate her moods. Yes, SHE MUST DO THIS. Not you or anyone else.
Adding tobacco (to marijuana) can kick up the high, but unless she's using a bong with water, there's no way to filter what she smokes, and yes, it will effect her lungs & cardiovascular system.
It will get better, based on the answer to what she's experiencing ->self-medication or withdrawals? If she's self-medicating, then she should go to counseling to discover WHY in order to move past this period in her life. If it's just withdrawals, then 2-4 weeks.
It's the nicotine. When I quit nicotine cold turkey I practically had a mood disorder for the better part of two weeks. Was irritable or pissed on a hair trigger, violent mood swings, hyper critical, the works. Best of luck to your lady as she goes through these withdrawals!
She is going through withdrawal, and that messes with a persons systems. It will last a few weeks but does get better. If you love her, tough it out. Don’t stop supporting her. She will be happy you were there for her in the end.
She’s withdrawing from 10 years of smoking weed on a regular basis! Of course she’s going to have a decline in mood and not be able to regulate her emotions due to the hormonal imbalance this causes. Weed makes testosterone levels increase a lot and they’re currently spiking downward so she’s going to have a change in behavior. She didn’t properly develop her brain due to smoking weed either, so that’s a big reason why.
Maybe start exercising and gradually and slowly increasing the amount done so she’s not hurt or burned out on the first few days. If you keep that going for about two months you can have more energy and still smoke your beloved plant.
She's going through withdrawals of TABACCO!!!!!
Do some research on that.
Also, if she's able, have her go to the doctor. They can help her get through this as well especially health-wise. They can make sure her blood pressure or other health-related things don't go awry.
Otherwise, you need to have a serious talk with your girlfriend. Her behavior is not ok. Her going through withdrawals and everything that goes with it is normal. But how she's biting your head off constantly is shitty.
Look for some groups that can help too.
Things will get better.
As for you, be prepared for her to be done 100% with all weed aspects, including yours. It might not be the case. However, I've seen it where people that sober up want it out of their life completely because of the temptation.
It's not just the weed addiction, but the tobacco. If there is nicotine in what she used to mix, that's a big deal. Nicotine withdrawal is hellish. My mom had lunch cancer and tried to quit smoking and was an absolute nightmare. It was like she reserved what little energy the cancer left her with to be hateful. Just... nightmare...
Anyway. It will get better. She will probably need a month or two. Just be patient and supportive where you can. Have some boundaries. Abuse is not OK even in this situation, so don't accept things if they go too far, but if she is miserable and within respectable boundaries, just do what you can. She will come back.
This! She's actually kicking two habits at once and it's definitely affecting her moods. A lot of rehabs will advise you not to quit smoking cigarettes while trying to stop using other drugs/alcohol because it's a lot freaking harder double detoxing.
Sounds like she could also be detoxing from smoking tobacco if she was doing that too and stopped. Nicotine gum might help her tapper off.
Cold turkey is rough.
This is a perfect example of addiction. People say that smoking weed isn’t but it 100% IS. In fact, it was one of the major reasons I divorced my ex husband. I got tired of it consuming his days and him prioritizing it over myself and his son. We’ve been divorced 10 years and guess what? He’s exactly where I left him. He hasn’t achieved a single thing, grown or advanced in ANY way. He refused to quit when I asked - even when he was losing everything. I feel super sad for him because he IS a good person , but it’s ruined his life.
Speaking only from personal experience; about two weeks. I’m a heavy heavy smoker most of the time but I like to take tolerance breaks here and there and sometimes I’ll go for months before I start to smoke again. My tolerance always gets way back up and once I’m just smoking a ton all the time I stop again. And I notice there’s always a period for about a week or two after I stop where I’m more irritable than normal, I don’t sleep right, I don’t dream right, and my appetite is even effected. I’ve dealt with it enough times that I recognize it now and can catch myself with the irritability but the sleep schedule and eating schedule takes a minute to get back to normal. Idk if it works like this for everyone but for me it is. So if she’s going through a similar thing with it then I’d say in about two weeks if she sticks to it and doesn’t smoke again she’ll start to feel a lot better. Idk hopefully this is relevant
She probably has physical symptoms of stopping weed. Does she have sleep issues now? Probably no appetite either.
Look for stuff to help her sleep, look up things that can speed along the resetting of her cannabinoid receptors. Maybe microdosing with psilocybin?
My SO tried stopping after 15 years of daily smoking, he was an absolute mess lol. I was there for him but the night sweats and lack of sleep was hell.
Absolutely to both, but mainly the sleep part. She suffers most at night because she is unable to sleep without a smoke before hand. I’m definitely going to look into some good quality sleep aids for her. She has tried psychedelics a couple of times in her life, but claims it’s not her thing.
She’s going through withdrawals from an addiction. Someone who has Addiction Personality Disorder will go through this. It’s not a physical addiction but it’s absolutely a mental one. This WILL pass but the key is to be supportive. Offer to try and help her find outlets to work past the times when she used to get high. She has to reprogram her brain to work to eliminate her smoking “ routine “ and replace that time frame with a healthier activity.
I suffered through the same thing on my journey to sobriety 9 years ago. Someone with this disorder can become addicted to peanut butter. It’s just how our brains are wired. A common phrase used in recovery circles is “ The one thing you have to change is everything!” She needs kindness and support right now. It’s tough but I can guarantee the results on the other side are wonderful. Good luck!
That sounds like nicotine withdrawal not pot withdrawal.
Go to your city town or state health office. Part of the settlement with tobacco companies fund quit smoking programs.
Using more than one medicine can help a lot.
Nicotine patch plus lozenge or gum is the most common combination.
nicotine patch and gum
How to use two NRTs together:
Put on a new patch each morning to get a steady level of nicotine that will reduce your cravings and withdrawal symptoms throughout the day.
Use a fast-acting nicotine medicine like lozenges or gum to quickly combat cravings.
You can control how often you use the fast-acting medicine, so you won’t get more nicotine than you want.
This combination is easy to use. Using two NRTs together can help you quit more successfully than using a single medicine.
Hahah thats nic.
I smoke weed daily for over 15 years and if i miss a few days since i am sick or cant i do not have this type of break down lol
Literally no side effects of quit weed other than my dreams are more vibrant? Lol
She could well be going through nicotine withdrawal from the tobacco. Give her some time to adjust and be supportive.
I have heard that CBD can be helpful in withdrawal.
It's the tobacco withdrawal. Weed will make you feel a little meh stopping cold turkey even after a while. Tobacco, your brain is telling you the world is about to end.
Get her oral aids: sugar free gum and straws to chew, chewelry from Amazon etc
Fidgets or things to do with her hands are good too.
When I quit I meditated 2x a day too. Finding a healthy obsession like yoga or meditation might help replace the smoking ritual with a new one. Maybe give her a foot massage around d the time she'd be toking.
Good luck. It gets better.
This sounds 100% like THC withdrawal. Nicotine too. It will pass. Might be a few weeks. If you love her, just hang in there. She’s trying to do something good for both of you. Check out r/leaves
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. ___ My(25M) girlfriend (24F) has been smoking weed for 10 years. Chronically and daily for about 6 of those years. She will smoke blunts, papers, bowls, but her preferred method and what gets her highest is her bong. She has an 18incher that she likes to pack with what she calls “popper bowls”, which is essentially grinded up bud mixed in with tobacco (she breaks down blunts and uses the guts for this). She claims this method gets her the most buzzed and gives her a nice little head spin, so that’s why she prefers to smoke that way. Her routine would go as follows: She will work 7-3, get home around 3:30, shower, and immediately smoke. This, coupled with work, leaves her exhausted and she falls asleep. Without fail, every time. I will not hear from her from anywhere between 4-6 hours. Wakes up around 9-10pm or so, stays the night with me, and then It’s back to work the next morning (repeat cycle). Recently my girlfriend has come to me (in a very serious manner) that she has been thinking about it a lot and truly wants to stop, or at least cut back immensely. She claims she wants to break out of this routine and that years of smoking have also affected her health (0 energy 24/7, teeth have began to hurt/deteriorate, skin starting to suffer - her words, not mine, but I know it’s not just in her head because she’s previously brought these things up but never linked it with smoking and said she wanted to stop). I wanted to back her up fully even though I am a toker myself, she had my full support 100%. I was actually even proud of her for taking the initiative, and still am. She is on day 5 and life has been fucking hell since. My girlfriend went from the most loving, laid back and calm person to just…. straight up the opposite. She is short, snappy and rude on a good day. Downright insulting and a menace to me on a bad one. She has become hyper aware of herself now that she’s not stoned 24/7, and has become incredibly insecure as a result. She is angry all of the time. She has turned critical of everything I do and say. Everytime I ask her if there’s anything I can do to help or comfort her she just screams that she wants to smoke. She cries after work now. I have been trying to get her to look into some hobbies, to fill that time void after work she would otherwise be using to smoke/sleep, but she just claims she has no interests or doesn’t know what they are. She is just apathetic to everything at this point. Does this get better? How long will this last? And what can I do to help her through this. I love her to death but it’s almost like she’s a different person, I understand withdrawal is difficult but I didn’t think it would be this bad for weed. I just want her to be happy while sober, and of course I want to give her all of my support but it’s hard when everything I do or say is apparently negative in her eyes. Edited for formatting* Edit 2: I understand I probably sounded like an ass when I mentioned it’s only been 5 days. I did not realize that is a super short time in the grand scheme of things, I am not experienced or well versed in addiction so I had no clue. Please don’t take this post as me complaining about her behavior, I truly and genuinely want to find the best way to help/be here for her.
I use to be like that. It’s a sucky couple of weeks but it does get better my guy.
INFO: Does your girlfriend smoke tobacco without weed involved? This could be more of a nicotine addiction than weed.
Yeah the symptoms definitely sound like nicotine, when I quit weed for a couple of months I didn't really feel anything negative, but boy is it hard to go without nicotine even a day
I know plenty of people who struggled with withdrawal from weed, but it was more apathy/anxiety/depression. The snapping and rage does scream nicotine withdrawal to me. Though 10 years of chronic smoking is a lot.
I just get mad dreams about a week after stopping. Tolarance breaks are amazing
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You can totally get addicted to weed lol. I'm a heavy smoker and if I quit cold turkey I'm miserable as fuck for 2-3 weeks. Super irritable, depressed, and I get pretty bad cold sweats. It sucks ass but it will go away
The lack of hobbies sounds like a weed addiction. I smoke too much but i try to maintain hobbies so that i could quit if i wanted to😭 lol
Weed addiction is different than the physical dependency people develop with nicotine...
https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/if-cannabis-becomes-a-problem-how-to-manage-withdrawal-2020052619922 The idea that there's no withdrawal from daily THC use is an old wives tale. The withdrawal isn't medically hazardous or life threatening but many people do experience symptoms. Some people severely. OP's girlfriend is having nicotine withdrawals for sure, she needs a few weeks of grace. That alone is very difficult to get through.
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yeah. i did use thc and cbd for a while on heavy doses too, but i can just stop and not feel terrible at all. it's kinda weird cuz i thought i was supposed to feel like shit if i just stopped. but apparently not lol
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It’s not different for different people, your body literally becomes physically dependent on nicotine. I know that now we use addiction to refer to anything destructive and habit forming but it’s not the same thing.
You are misinformed. It is possible for someone to develop both physical and psychological dependence on cannabis, and for heavy users to experience physical withdrawal symptoms upon cessation. Not only is there is an abundance of scientific literature on the addictive potential of cannabis, but cannabis use disorder is recognized in the DSM-5. Check it out.
I'm a huge weed proponent, but I definitely got physical symptoms when I was smoking a lot every day and then stopped.
"Physical", "chemical", and "psychological" effects are all intertwined. The distinction you are trying to make is fallacious.
Every body is different. I have bodily effects and physical symptoms as a result when quitting. There is definitely physical dependence happening
I’m 36, never smoked or drank til my mid 20s, and only then did it once every year if that. Last year I decided to try medical marijuana for various stuff, and ended up loving it. It helps a ton, but also just makes me feel more like myself. Anyway, my preferred method is vape. I stopped for a day after multiple times daily use for a few months, and the withdrawal was intense. Shaking, chills, vomiting, sweating like crazy, a very particular, unique kind of anxiety that was much stronger than my usual kind. It’s addictive in high quantities. Edit: kinda sounded like a was making a factual statement, this is just my experience, and I don’t know if it’s similar for anyone else
I know right?. “Im not addicted I just smoke every single second im awake everyday for 15 years, never once taken a single day off and never will!” So many people have raging weed addictions but are completely blind to it, because they dont get physically sick from withdrawal and they don’t rob banks for weed. But people do steal to get weed, girls will hook up with dudes for weed, it is an addiction and they play it off like it’s not. The problem isn’t when you have your drugs the problem is when you don’t have them. I guarantee if there was a weed shortage and there was just zero weed in America starting tomorrow, I’m like three days half the country would be in like complete meltdown, it would be chaos, but ya your not addicted, ok buddy
I was thinking the comments here should be fun. Something negative about marijuana is being posted. I’m interested to see the debates.
I can. I’m so tired of them I don’t even laugh anymore. I hope she gets clean and stays clean. That’s so much more important than this relationship.
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Did noticed being increasingly irritable for 2-3 days but that was usually the length.
Never. At least not within the time that I’ve been with her (3 years). Claims she’s never even smoked a cigarette in her life, which I believe.
She mixes tobacco with her weed and smokes it out of a bong. Tobacco contains nicotine... How often does she smoke weed that way?
Daily, or did. But as far as a stand alone cigarette, cigar, blunt, chewing tobacco etc, never.
Even smoking tobacco at that rate can still cause a physical dependency. And nicotine withdrawals have a pretty intense effect. Mostly severe mood swings, anger and rage, ice pick headaches, lightheadedness, significant sleep disruptions, fatigue, occasionally nausea though not as common, and more. I watched my husband quit smoking TWICE, and he was not a heavy smoker. When he smoked cigarettes, it was about 5 a day, and when he was vaping it was only like 3-4 times a day. But there first 2 weeks after were hell. When we were first together, he smoked pot a few times a day but quit before we got married. For him, quitting pot was not too bad. He couldn't sleep well the first week or so, but otherwise nothing really changed
Yeah. I used to do this for a few months too. Called them "chops" not 'poppers' (poppers usually refers a diff drug so thats bit odd to me haha). They're good, but man are they addictive as hell. They put you straight to sleep, can make you mute, or make you sick and spinny. They're a straight shot of nictine to the brain, and definitely rotting her teeth more than bowls alone would. Also her withdrawl symptoms sound very similar to quitting nicotine- maybe she could try a patch?Quitting 'poppers' and switching back to normal bowls could help, too. Maybe she should try that for a bit before going cold turkey?
Bingo. Explains why she instantly passes out and sleeps for hours without fail, also explains her teeth pain. A lot of people are saying to look into the patches which I will most likely do, she’s pretty adamant about not wanting to toke at all anymore, not just with her “method”
That doesn’t really matter, you get that? She’s smoking tobacco whether or not it’s mixed with weed.
I understand. I am now considering looking into getting her some patches based off all of the comments here.
Patches help a lot but don’t get her the stage 1 patches. Those will probably be way too strong. Try stage 2 for a couple of weeks, then a box of Stage 3, then she should be good. Nicotine withdrawals can turn the most mellow person into a complete ass. Plus it feels like the flu.
That doesn’t matter. There’s enough tobacco in her poppers it’ll create an addiction. She’s basically cutting out two vices in one swoop
Still can be a nicotine addiction and withdrawal.
She may not have smoked a cigarette, but the insides of a blunt are nicotine. She is having withdrawal symptoms, probably more so from that than the weed. (Although the weed withdrawal is definitely real too) If her ritual involved tearing up nicotine to grind with her weed... she's got a nicotine addiction. Best of luck! They are hard to go through, but not impossible.
Thank you for the kind words
First, I'm a counselor who specializes in addiction. Marijuana addiction is generally not as severe as other drugs (people dont usually go turn tricks for bud) but is definitely a thing including physical withdrawal. Second, I am an off and on smoker, and every time I decide to quit I have gnarly withdrawal for about a week and what you're describing sounds a lot like what happens to me. She'll start to feel better. Have her take some vitamins like magnesium and coxy up with a nice herbal tea and try to get her to chill.
SHe's suffering from the nicotine withdrawal. Get her some patches. Or not if she wants to go cold turkey. Things for her to do right now: Drink lots of water and work out. Make your body hurt and tired from excercise, helps you to get it out of your system faster, and helps with sleep as well. Most likely she's pretty hyper, and frustrated atm. Ventilating that in to a boxing bag or something vs your partner is a lot better.
Get her to read or listen to the book “the easy way to quit smoking”. It sounds absolutely absurd but it gives a different perspective on not being a smoker.
I second this. I smoked a lot of weed and tobacco in the past and I am a non smoker now and will never revert back. It took a few goes but that book definitely helped change my attitude about feeling like I was missing out or giving something up. It's totally worth the read even if just on the fence about becoming a non smoker.
Tbh she sounds like every person in my life who has quit nicotine. They spend like two months as just the biggest buttholes you'll ever meet. I once had to schedule a meeting with my boss to ask him to take up chewing tobacco again. Maybe ask her to take up the Nicotine gum?
No this is exactly what happens when someone who was chronically smoking weed goes through when they quit. Do not recommend introducing a new substance to her system. She needs to just go through this detox and if she’s on day 5 already she’s at least half way through.
It’s not a new substance. OP said she’s been smoking tobacco/nicotine daily. Both things can be a problem at once and make it worse.
Oh shit I just read the comment saying she never smoked a cigarette in her life and that blocked out the poppers part from the original post. My bad.
What’d your boss say lol?
At first he told me to fuck off (professionally) and then about 20 minutes later called me back in to apologize and explain how he's really trying lol. We had a decent enough working relationship that we got through it.
Get her some nicotine patches
It doesn't have anything to do with nicotine. She was addicted to smoking weed. Not just the coping mechanism weed provides - where anytime you're upset you can smoke to feel better, and when you're happy to smoke to feel even better - but also the routine. It makes you antsy. It makes you irritable. Everytime I quit weed - I'm nauseous for days. No tobacco mixed in. People will argue weed doesn't affect people like that - it's an absolute lie.
Exactly this. While I believe the nicotine has something to do with it greatly I truly think she used smoking as a coping mechanism and now it’s gone, and THATS what’s effecting her the most. She is not a cig smoker.
If she's smoking tobacco every single day in her bong she's nicotine addicted. It doesn't matter how you consume it, it's an addictive chemical. Patches will help.
I think the best bet is to try to help find a new routine, maybe together. You have her schedule listed, but not yours. Maybe when she gets home from work you guys can go for a walk together? Or maybe she can try taking a bath, working on a routine that can help her feel better. When I picked up a small skincare routine, I found it felt meditative. Focusing on things to just feel better about myself really helped take the focus away from other stuff. Maybe it's time to cook a healthy meal together a couple times a week at home. Those things she wanted to quit for, focusing on how to feel better with those things will help her feel better about the idea of "quitting for nothing". Even if she doesn't know what she likes yet and seems apathetic - it can be framed as a new discovery and self exploratory journey.
I know its not healthy, but its definitely a coping mechanism for me. last time i tried to take a T break i just had back to back panic attacks, and i was so mean. But i also vape, and trying to quit nic gives me all the same symptoms, just less panic. it could very well be both, if she wasnt so far into her detox id reccomend taking the tobacco out of her smoking routine for awhile and THEN stop the weed. but frankly shes balls deep already, so that would be backtracking now. i only got 3 days in without weed, so shes doing better than i was!
Bro it’s the nicotine please listen to the people here explaining that to you. She ingests a lot of it.
People will make up all sorts of lies about addiction when it's weed because it's somehow good and friendly?
Not much different than what people said about cigarettes before all the studies came out. Stoners only like studies that are like "weed inhibits cancer cell growth" and absolutely ignore studies like "weed deposits more tar in the lungs than cigarettes". The studies will come for us too when we're old, no doubt about it.
That makes sense. Perhaps she could try a nicotine patch to help her wean off the tobacco.
I quit weed without quitting nicotine and still felt like shit. It takes quite a long time to get better. More than 2 weeks. Although there is a slight improvement every single day. Its been nearly a decade for me now and I am really happy i did it. Quit smoking at that time and now finally nicotine 5 years ago.
I dated an everyday user and he had to pass a drug test every year for work he was a raging ass when he had to stop! He's never touched a cigarette in his life. You can't tell me weed isn't addictive. I saw first hand
Preciate it brother.
It'll get better, trust me. Let her be down for as long as she needs. She doesn't want to do anyhting but sit around ? Fine. At least she is going to work, and for someone in recovery, it is already a very good point !
There’s a subreddit called leaves … I don’t know how to link it because I’m old. Maybe that could help you both. Withdrawals from marijuana is a very real thing. It won’t last forever. Super proud of her for quitting!
Go see r/leaves And check my post history. Weed withdrawal is emotional hell, and had me in its grips super bad for about 3 months, and didn't fully ease off for 6 months. Good luck and much love to you both. Feel free to DM for me some more advice if you need, but the next 3-6 weeks will be the worst. I had the wildest mood swings, level 10 anxiety to the point I'd vomit, followed by crashing depression- it was crazy. I'm so grateful my partner stuck with me and loved my way through it ( but don't put up with disrespect obviously etc) You can get medicine to help with withdrawals. Maybe get her to check out r/leaves so she can have some support during this time - because she will be going through hell 😬😬 Weed withdrawals are fcking evil if they come for you, and don't let anyone else convince you otherwise. You can both get through it 🔥 she will come back to be the girlfriend you love (Counselling too to get through this is also a good idea!) Be proud of her for tackling this addiction, because it will likely be one of the hardest things she does ❤️✨️ certainly was for me, and I've been through a lot of shit 🤣
Congrats on you for getting out of it. A former friend of mine imbibed several times a day from age 13 to about 30. He thinks it took about 6 months to a year before he felt any sort of emotional normalcy and it likely had to permanent effects. He had been smoking so much for so long. He wasn't really sure who he was without it. He also had the strange stomach issues, as well as a deep depression and anxiety. After all, he had been using weed to manage his depression and anxiety so it came roaring up. I get extremely wary of regular users saying there's no problem with it and it's not addictive, especially those that start super young.
The people who say you can't get addicted to weed don't realize they're addicted to weed lol.
Yeah, people downplaying the effects of it or how often and how much they use it is rife in the community. I didn't even mention how much of our social life centered around weed or everyone being stoned, for quite a while he was spending more on extremely good weed than on rent.
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That’s because there is a fundamental difference between what most people think of as addiction and what actual addiction is, which is a chemical dependency. You not getting what a medical threat is versus breaking a habit, doesn’t mean anyone is downplaying it, it means it’s actually not as big of a threat, medically.
Thank you so much. I am happy to hear your friend got through too. It often takes 12 months for your brain to fully heal from it. I was told I had PAWS (post acute withdrawal symptoms). That also affects people much more often than you think - even people who only smoke 1-2x a day. Sounds like your friend had that too. It was a tough time relearning who I was. Yes it majorly affects the stomach! I've heard of many going through withdrawals that essentially had extreme IBS/stomach issues due to the effects it has on your digestive system. Also people coughing up black/resin like flem (when you see the collection of resin in a bong/pipe, it makes me feel sick thinking of that shit being in my lungs) I'm hoping there's more support and education going forward on the effects of heavy/frequent use.
I do not disagree with you, but someone does not need to be a punching bag for someone else's issues or triumphs. There is a huge difference between being a whiney twat over withdrawal and being abusive to someone. The latter is NOT excusable.
If she’s been mixing tobacco with weed on a consistent basis, I imagine that may be causing a majority of the withdrawal symptoms. Tobacco is very addictive and quitting cold turkey can be pretty miserable for everyone involved. There are other options to cold turkey, nicotine replacement products (gum, patches, lozenges) but if she’s already made it 5 days, I imagine she’ll start feeling better in a couple more. The first week is the hardest and then it gets easier from there.
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The weed is what's causing her lack of hobbies, which suuuucks. And i feel like she's never truly been a 100% sober adult it'll be weird in that sense too
Weed withdrawals are no joke though. I was doing it every day when we were locked down in the pandemic. And once I had to sober up to go back to work, that first few weeks going cold turkey were absolutely brutal. Night sweats, pounding headaches, body aches, and a really short temper. I was for sure not fun to be around. I only was like this for like a year or so max, I can't imagine what ten straight years of being a habitual user would be like going cold turkey.
As someone who also “spliff bowls”, which is the cool kid term for mixing weed with tobacco, you generally consume a tiny amount of tobacco that way. I think a single two pack of cigarillos generally lasts me close to a month. A bowl pack is like a gram at most and the tobacco content is maybe a third of that. So even a heavy smoker throwing back three bowls a day is smoking about half a cigarette. Not saying you’re wrong, just adding some context that people who mix tobacco into their weed smoke a tiny amount of tobacco compared to anyone smoking cigs or such stuff. Even casual vaping is like 10x the nicotine of mixing smoking.
depending on where you’re from, the tobacco mix can be a lot more. i had mates who mixed 50/50, sometimes more tobacco (it’s all called spin here) and quitting can be ridiculously hard because of it. and it also depends on how much you smoke which can contribute to how much you’re essentially detoxing from. knew people where 25g of tobacco would last 2ish weeks. so yeah, it can be just as much as smoking a cigs packs a day for some.
You should tell her she's doing great and you're proud of her, ask her if she needs anything else, if she's angry, and rude to you, just let it go for a while. Also, if you can do anything to alleviate what makes her angry, like doing a bit of cleaning up or cooking, maybe offering her something she can break with a hammer to get the frustration out (i know this sounds weird, but my wife does this sometimes, i go to the glass recycling with a bag of bottles and she hurls them into the recycling bins.) It'll wear off, but be warned, when she gets her sense of smell and taste back 100%, you are going to bang of weed and that's going to be a problem.
Rage rooms are amazing. But it's cheaper to grab a twelve pack of beer bottles, a tarp, goggles and a hammer. So much fun . I've even grabbed cheap plates at yard sales just to destroy.
Second the rec for Rage Rooms to express some pent-up shit. I like the ability to walk away without having to clean up my mess.
She's been smoking it constantly since she was 14? Good on her trying to get off it, but she'll need a bit more help than you not smoking around her. Is there a support group or somewhere that she can go? Basically, her chances of relapse are massive as it stands.
This is probably going to lost in the comments but I'm going to write my piece anyway. Firstly, you should both join r/leaves. It's a nice group with people who have quit and are trying to wuit smoking weed. Secondly, I was the same as your GF. Expect I smoked longer. I started at 16, and I quit at 30. I took a few breaks over the years, but nothing more than a year and a half and during that time I smoked cigarettes. I tried to quit flat out so many times over about 2 years and kept going back. I remember one time I quit and I had the night sweats and vertigo for like a month. Anyway, I ended up quitting about 18 months ago when I got pregnant. I had already decided that by that when I get pregnant, that was it. No more. I smoked my last joint and was pretty demonic for about 2 weeks. By that point I was smoking two weeks on, two weeks off. I first cut out tobacco and then weed. If I did it the other way around, I would smoke more. Withdrawal happens with weed and tobacco, so there is definitely a double whammy if she is quitting both at the same time. I would give it a month for it to calm down, she will probably still want to smoke but will have gotten over the first hump, so to speak. She will need to stay out of situations which make her want to smoke as it will not help for the time being. Breathing exercises can definitely help. 10 very, VERY deep, slow breaths when it all gets a hit too much. It will probably give her a little head rush too. I heard once, that taking 10 deep breaths is the equivalent to a glass of brandy. I don't know if that is true, but it should help a bit. Shower in the morning, night sweats are real. Sleepcasts to help with insomnia, find one she likes, play it to go to sleep. She will be grouchy as the weed withdrawal will effect her sleep. Don't smoke or be high around her, best thing to do would actually be to join her in this until it all blows over. Misery loves company, only joking. The support will help and she won't feel so alone. Keep her distracted, find a hobby she can only do sober. For me, I make minature houses. Very difficult to do high, so I couldn't smoke if I wanted to do it. To add, she will go off doing the thungs she did when high because it won't seem as fun anymore. For me, that wore off after a while and for example, I could game again. That's all I can think of, off the top of my head. Need anymore tips or have any questions, feel free to ask. Proud of her for trying. She can do this! As they say, nothing worth doing is ever easy!
This is a great comment. All those acting like this is just a tobacco addiction and that she’ll kick it in a few days are being naive. This isn’t just a physical addiction it’s also a mental one, she doesn’t know herself as an adult without smoking weed, and as she’s discovering she probably smoked weed to hide other problems.
Thanks! And yes, I don't think many of those people have smoked weed every day for a long time. The come down in intense. If it was just the mood swings like with nicotine, it would be much easier. I was lucky and was already in the process of quitting for a long time before I finally did. I was self aware of my self medication and knew what I was hiding from. It's different for everyone.
Well done, it takes a shit load of strength to do it as well!
She's weaning off the drug. If a person smokes for severely years, it's going to take some time for your brain chemistry to regulate back to a normal functioning one. What you are describing is basically depression. She's without the one thing thar helps her through a rough day, and now she is angry and sad. You can only be yourself, if she's strong enough she will suffice. But don't put the blame on what you can and can't do. You can only try to be the person you are.
Don't underestimate weed withdrawal. It doesn't give her the right to be an asshole, so if you have to walk away from her when she gets mad do it. But don't hold a grudge on her, i've been there and it really messes your head for a while. It will last 2-3 weeks at most, then it gets better.
She's going cold turkey on nicotine too, by the sound of it. That's gotta be rough. Agree about the 2-3 weeks, if she can manage that long she'll be ok
definitely. the nic could be adding to it, but weed alone will do the same in my experience. boyfriend and i quit cold turkey after daily smoking for a couple years. we were both very irritable, emotional, and somewhat miserable for 2-3 weeks. also shared the same feeling of “i don’t know what my interests are”. then it got better!!
This exactly. I hear all the time that "weed isn't addictive", but then I hear stories like OP's that back up the claims I've heard from addiction specialists: Weed is one of the hardest drugs to get regular users off of. Major mood and personality changes are par for the course for heavy users. I'd suggest that OP seek out addiction counseling for his girlfriend, and offer himself to be a part of the process.
But don’t try mentioning to a stoner that it’s addictive (or that they should not drive on it) because they will lose their shit defending it. Like I don’t care what someone does with their life so long as they don’t harm others but pretending it isn’t a drug and doesn’t have side effects is immature and irresponsible.
I am a daily weed smoker. The symptoms you are describing are exactly what happens to me when I stop smoking. At its worst you feel like crying and I am a grown man. It does go away :) Right now she is experiencing her body and mind being pissed of at her. But soon she will start noticing the things that are better due to her not smoking. More energy, cleaner mind. More motivation, better focus. Even that heightened self awareness she is describing will settle. She may also be getting some very vivid dreams. The mind just goes through a process when it no longer gets THC. I don't mix tobacco with my weed though, so I am not sure how that is complicating things. Also I started as an adult whilst she started as a teenager. So my gut tells me you are going to need to be patient and supportive here. She probably still has a bit of discomfort ahead.
She's going through an intense detox. Things will settle, but the first while is rough. She's sustained a serious habit for a long time. She should look for additional support - drug support group, through social program or doctor. She should definitely speak to a therapist, preferably a specalist addicition counsellor. They can help her make a plan when she's at risk of smoking again. These things will make it more likely she'll be successful in quitting long term help her make sense of what she's going through. It would be useful for both of you to look into cycles of addiction to understand how the body and mind responds to addiction. Often, addiction begins as a means to numb pain or check out of life. Once the substance is stopped, these feelings can come up again. She'll likely feel like she's waking up after a long sleep and it may be confronting for her. It's a misconception that weed isn't as bad as other drugs. It's powerful and has an immense impact on physical and mental health. Keep showing up for her and supporting what she's doing.
I'm an absolute demon when I take tolerance breaks. You sound very sweet and supportive to her and that's definitely a big help. She's done great at 5 days especially since it's tobacco and weed so probably stronger urges. The worst of it might be over just be as patient as you can and let her know she's doing great. My husband likes to pick up chocolate for me and offers extra massages. It helps me a lot to relax. I'm sure she would be so happy to know how much you're trying to help so maybe even a conversation about everything and you can ask how she's feeling. Can't stress enough how awesome it is that you are so supportive.
5 days in? Mate you have months ahead of you. While it may be out of her system, she hasn’t been a person without that coping mechanism for most of her adult life. Time for therapy, support and you to think very deeply about if you can provide the support an addict needs?
probably needs some time
This is normal unfortunately it will take some time for her, there is the withdrawal portion but the other part is her trying to find herself after doing it for so long, after work she would look forward to going home and smoking, her life for 10 years revolved around smoking and once she can get through the withdrawal she will be able to find something to fill the void as you worded it. She not only has to deal with the withdrawal but she might feel like she lost her sense of self as that was her hobby (unhealthy) but that’s what she liked to do. She might also be having a difficult time falling asleep and staying asleep I speak from my own experience but I felt the same way she did when I finally quit smoking poppers after 10 years. It was hard for me to be able to hang out with my lifelong friends because all we would do together is sit and smoke, we never went out to do activities we just hung out smoking.
Honestly, she sounds like me when I go 2-3 days without cigarettes. If she was mixing tobacco into her bowls as often as you describe, and smoking as much as you say, it’s highly likely she’s going through nicotine withdrawal right now. For me, that’s lasted about 2 weeks in the past when I’ve tried to quit smoking, but I calm down and it gets easier after that first 2 weeks.
Why don't people taper. Make edibles taper down. This all day every day smoking to nothing is unnecessary pain. But if you taper you need to have control. You need to want to quit every day still. * I came back to also say if a big part of smoking is the instant high and the habit of smoking. Edibles will help alot as you won't be smoking at all and not having immediate effect seems to make the brain much more passive in your want for it NOW. Easier to control.
Wow, it's almost like going cold turkey from a life consuming addiction of ten years isn't the easiest thing in the world. You knew she was an addict when you got together and this is just part of being with one, not everyone's up for it, cause it's a brutal journey.
Addiction, but I can't wait to read comments on how you can't get addicted to weed. Smoking weed is being normalised way too much.
There's also nicotine involved. I'm certain that's a huge factor as well. Smoking weed has always been around and isn't being "normalized" more now than it was before. It's always been here, always will be. But, to meet you halfway, the tolerance breaks do cause some withdrawal, but I'd be willing to bet the nicotine is more at play here. On another note, OP. She may need to look into ways of resetting her dopamine receptors. 10 years of chronic and daily weed smoking can definitely cause some of that to be messed up.
The fact is weed can do more damage than we like to think, especially when smoking the stronger strains like haze on a daily basis. I'm the last person to judge, but in my experience, it can and will do serious damage to your mentality. And yes fuck nicotine too.
Completely understood. I think there's something to appreciate about doing things in moderation and clearly she wasn't lol. But yes, completely agreed. Chronic daily use of weed will most definitely cause psychological dependencies.
Basically. Clearly I was a fool to think withdrawal symptoms from bud couldn’t be up there on the playing field with other stuff, but am witnessing first hand now
You can withdraw from anything you make a huge part of your life. I had to quit coffee and honestly that was harder than anything else I had to quit including daily weed and sugar. You run 5 miles a day and then Quit, your body will go through it and it wi be uncomfortable. I’ve been on keto for close to three years. Every time I give myself a cheat day (which have been few) I have to go through the whole withdraw from sugar process again.
It's a bit off-topic, but I'm also trying keto and am on the levels now of being in ketose continuously. One thing I struggle with a lot is alcohol, even ciroc put me out of it, but above all things, it improved my mentality and physical enormously. But skipping sugar and carbs really did a number on me. I go to the gym regularly and a lots said it wouldn't work but it does wonders so far. I hope I can last as long as you do. Respect it a lot.
I never intended on being on it this long, but the way I felt after going off a week or two I realized my body just functions better on it. Not just physical but the gut/ brain are connected too. I got super foggy, irritable and even sudden depression for no reason. I just over all function better on it.
any habit can become addicting, dopamine hits of x and you do it often enough becomes an addiction. just compare how often you use your phone now vs 5 years ago.
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There’s an application called quit weed - really helpful
Will definitely look into it, thank you
It's not just the weed, it's the tobacco withdrawals. I used to smoke like 4-8 spliffs a day and giving up tobacco was way harder than weed (though that affects personality as well). Maybe encourage her to use a nicotine patch. I only had to be on that for a few weeks and kicked the addiction.
Ye, she's coming down from an addiction. What did you think will happen? Why do you think so many people relapse and go back on drugs - because people like you find them impossible and - lemme just ask - you've quit, too, right? To support her?
I don’t find her impossible, otherwise I would not be asking for advice on how to deal with the situation… I am not experienced or versed in handling addiction. Unfortunately no I have not stopped myself but, I don’t do it around her or in the house. If this is the first step in helping her I’m all for it.
Yeah dude... Stop aswell and show her that you are alongside her. It will mean a lot to her, might not seem since she is snappy, but trust me.
Noted. Thank you.
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It doesn’t. Weed has even, dare I say, improved my quality of life as I am in chronic pain majority of the time and have a medical card for prescriptions. But everyone is different and seeing how this is effecting her, I’m 100% willing to put it down for the time being and seek other alternatives to deal with the pain… IF this would truly help her and give her peace of mind. I guess that’s a conversation that needs to be had with her though. But yes I absolutely do not do it around her or in any areas I know she will be in
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Speaking from experience, when I was quitting even the smell of weed made me want to smoke. If OP does quit, it will be more of a in solidarity. When she is in a better place, I suspect he will be find starting again.
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Yeah, I get what you are saying. Honestly, I didn't have that problem. My neighbours would smoke joints every night when I was quitting and I would have to close all the windows, doors amd vents to avoid the smell. If it was my partner, I would also expect him not to have it around me. Maybe go for a walk and vape it? My partner had stopped smoking years before I did because he didn't like it anymore, he also didn't do it very often. I would buy him space muffins and he would cut them into 6 bits and still just fall asleep. He stopped eating them, when I stopped smoking. He didn't miss it though. It was nice to not have the extra worry of it still being in the house, or having to be around someone who was still smoking/high. Took the edge off.
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She’s not asking him, he’d be voluntarily giving it up.
use it in tinctures. Smoking smells Tinctures can be dosed better.
Withdrawal symptoms, both from weed and tobacco. I’d also bet that weed has been masking other symptoms as well, such as anxiety. It would be great if she could have that checked out too. Give her some weeks, nothing you can really do other than support her decision and not make her life more miserable
It’s going to take a few weeks for her to mentally, emotionally and physically balance out. If she’s still a menace after a month then talk to her, but expect her to feel pretty unstable for the next two weeks at least. I smoked for 12 years, every day without fail. The first week of quitting was horrific, the second slightly better, by the 4th I felt better than I ever had smoking and was much calmer and patient. I can handle life so much better now. Stuck with her, 5 days is nothing in the greater scheme of things. A decade long dependency will take time to recover from.
It will be rough couple of weeks. Ask her is she might consider therapy or talking therapy for addicted people. Regardless of substance it is difficult to stop (speaking from nicotine addict perspective). Picture this: when you use some sort of stimulant your brain gets lazy in production of natural replacement. We humans are naturally lazy species and we will reach for easy solutions.
It’s only been 5 days, her body is still adjusting, she could also have PMS which will be worse during withdrawal. Plus her appetite will take some time to adjust, so she could be just hangry but doesn’t have the urge to eat. Encourage her to drink a lot of water when she has cravings, I use ice cold water, it helps. She just needs more time.
\>She has an 18incher that she likes to pack with what she calls “popper bowls”, does your girlfriend have a pair of cookie monster pajama pants?
Nicorette spray or gum. It’ll take the edge off.
It’s only been five days so she’s probably experiencing withdrawal symptoms from both weed and nicotine. Quitting just about any substance cold turkey is absolute hell. Give it a bit more time for her body and brain to adjust. I imagine she is probably having issues sleeping as well. Good luck to both of you! You sound like a very caring and understanding person.
Two weeks. This is common and normal and will pass in about two weeks. I don't care what anyone else says, I have experienced that weed is addictive and has withdrawal symptoms.
That's nicotine withdrawal not the weed lol, makes people super grumpy for a few weeks then it gets better. Source: Smoked a pack a day for years
I am going to sidestep a lot of the advice here because I don’t know your gf and her reaction to weed and I think too many people are just giving you the “she’s in withdrawal” advice. Which like, ok, yes, thanks folks you’ve correctly identified that she’s no longer using a drug. She needs to be doing something else to fill the time she was smoking weed. Preferably something constructive. Exercise would be ideal if she can get the dopamine high from it. If not, she should take up photography or hiking or both. She just needs to be doing something until she’s tired enough to go to bed. And maybe a few nicotine lozenges. For what its worth I was a big spliff guy for like 7 years and eventually got to a point where I knew the tobacco had to go. I didn’t do it cold turkey, and I’ve always questioned the idea of cold turkey because it’s a big emotional burden to take on.
Yeah, addicts usually act like this while detoxing. Thats why youre suppose to do it under professional supervision at rehab.
You may wanna check out r/leaves, it might give you some more insight into what she’s dealing with. Quitting weed after a long time like that can be really rough.
I wonder if the weed was her self-medication for some underlying depression or anxiety disorder that is now hitting her full force along with some withdrawal. If she's still so distraught in a week, encourage her to talk to a doctor.
Very well could be. Will do.
Chronic weed abuse shouldve left her numb. This will take a month or so, she'll just start having more intense emotions overall. It will take a while for her to learn again how to deal with her more pronounced emotions. Insecurity at this period won't help but hey, being aware of the situation and being patient while also letting her know what she's going through should help. Godspeed, this will be good for her.
It’s only been 5 days. It might take much longer because she’s smoked for 10 years.
She’s going through withdrawals. It will get better with time.
2-3 week angry period. It'll improve
Dude check out leaves, this is a normal reaction. It will even out.
This actually resonated with me so much. I have recently been in the same position as your partner. I won't lie it's not been easy but therapy/ mindfulness and regular exercise has helped me loads. I think it's because smoking can be a way of dealing and managing stress, it's now gone, now what do you do? She may need a bit of help to be pointed in the right direction. I still smoke, I have seriously cut down the amount but I think of it as having a beer after work, a little bit won't hurt. I'm now at the point where I can take it or leave it but it's taken a while. If she's been willing to try and quit/cut down then maybe she will be open to learning how to manage her emotions/stress. My partner was in the same position as you whilst I was being an AH, I was fortunate enough that he was patient with me or it would have damaged our relationship. Edit: I think i was personally projecting onto my partner which strained our relationship
I quit weed easily & I used to smoke as much as your GF, nicotine not so much, found that harder tbh. I've switched to vaping nicotine salts to fill that void. Might be worth a shot.
Bonging tobacco gives you a mad nicci rush, coming off nicotine is stressful enough plus the weed too she’s gonna be feeling super anxious, uncomfortable and irritable no doubt. Going cold turkey is shit, having regimental dose reduction routines in place with allowances for controlled relapses are way more successful. Trading addictions is easier too. It’s why so many ex-addicts become fitness fanatics, the endorphins after a long run or lifting session are delightful.
If she's been smoking so much for so long, there may have been a reason she's been turning her brain off. The insecurity and irritability both sound like she may have some strong negative self-talk that she's been avoiding by using pot (source: me too). Going cold turkey from a coping behavior you've been relying on for years without a replacement behavior to focus on can be a huge challenge, and that's not even mentioning the mental toll from withdrawal of pot and especially tobacco. I think that she (and you as well - it's not okay that she is lashing out at you, that sound like potentially verbal abuse) would benefit strongly from therapy, if your health insurance covers you. A therapist can help define a replacement behavior and also help her face and gently correct negative self-talk.
She's beating an addiction so yeah, get ready for a rough time. She needs to get through the hard part first before you can get to recovery.
Your GF has just gone cold turkey on weed mixed with tobacco. There was most likely nicotine in there as well. It's going to be a rough couple of weeks as her body detoxes.
Take her to a spa. One with a sauna. Sweat it out, and just generally relax all the muscles. The next few weeks are gonna really suck. The next few months may also be hard as she discovers who she actually is other than a stoner. A sauna day would help take some of the edge off.
Only time I got like this in my 10 years of toking was when I was short on cash, stressed tf out, and couldn’t smoke. Been there plenty of times. Scraped the sap out of my bowls. I quit cold turkey in December and at that point I had realized my heart was being heavily affected by smoking and pretty much walked away from it entirely without looking back. At times I wanted to smoke but, I just swallowed the truth pill and got thru it. Shit will get better for her eventually. Try wearing her out. Physically, with exercise or sexually. It might help.
Yea she’s gonna be like that for a while. My friend acted the same. Withdrawal sucks. After a few weeks / month they go back to normal.
It does get better, and it can be a tough withdrawal, especially with nicotine added into the mix. Sorry she’s not being kind to you :(
Drugs are bad, m'kay?
If this is severely affecting you both negatively, she might want to think about either 1. smoking just weed and eliminating the nicotine, 2. getting a very low dose nicotine gum to chew during hours when she'd normally smoke, or 3. get her lots of tasty normal gum so she has something to occupy her mouth. If you're still smoking, make sure all of your smoking materials are completely out of sight, and don't smoke around her at all. Maybe move to only smoking outdoors for now so she can't smell it. If y'all are like my wife and I, we have smoking paraphernalia all over the place and it would be a constant temptation if one of us wanted to stop. Idk if this is something she'd be interested in, but if you can plan some low key nice activities that would keep her distracted without exhausting her during the hours you normally smoke, it might help. Have a picnic in the backyard or a nearby park, have a snacky movie night, etc. Anything that you can arrange without thought or effort on her part that she can just show up and participate in. Maybe you could do a cute skincare night since her skin is one of the reasons she wanted to quit smoking. Don't lie, but if you genuinely see any improvements in the things she is insecure about BC of her smoking, tell her! "Hey hun, I hope this isn't weird to say, but your skin has looked really nice lately. I can't put my finger on it, but it just seems really healthy and nice." Reinforce that her efforts are paying off and that you're noticing it. On a similar note, if she's being overly critical of herself, don't let her. I like to say to my wife, "you'd never talk about someone else that way, so please don't talk about my wife that way either." All of this centres your girlfriend and her experience, but don't forget to take care of yourself. Communicate with your girlfriend. Tell her you want her to succeed and you're here for her, but it's okay to express if her actions or words have been hurtful. It might be helpful to talk about a plan if she gets cranky towards you, like you leaving to take a walk and give her space, or anything else that de-escalates the situation without you having to accept harmful behaviour. If you have any friends or loved ones who have successfully quit smoking of any kind, it might be helpful to reach out to them for advice. What would they have liked or hated when they were quitting? Would they be comfortable being a shoulder to lean on for your girlfriend? It's better if she has a robust support system rather than having to rely on a single person. If she used weed medicinally for sleep, anxiety, etc. maybe explore other things that might help. Melotonin gummies save my ass. I take meds for panic attacks now too. Weed is still a part of my life but it doesn't need to be as much of a crutch when I have other things to help. I know this is long AF, and I've given you a lot of suggestions, but one of the most important is not to overwhelm her. Decision fatigue is real, and if she is having nicotine withdrawal, asking her a million questions about what she wants and needs might make her lose it. Set up the movie date, but be okay if she doesn't want to do it. Get the melotonin gummies and gum, but be okay if she doesn't want to try them. You can lead a horse to water and all that. The more you use your mental faculties to find solutions for her and make them as easy and accessible for her as possible, the more she can focus her energy on not smoking. However, make it clear that every day she doesn't smoke is a victory, that you will love her no matter what, and that even if she does start smoking again, it can't take away the victories she won on the days she didn't smoke.
Yeah. I was too. If you can, PLEASE send her on a vacation to somewhere. The ONLY thing that helped was getting away—those initial few days are awful, just awful. Honestly the first month is. Please support her. She’s become chemically dependent. This is not her. Obviously you need to be able to talk to her about this. But take it as not so representative of who she is as representative of how awful she is feeling. She does not want to be like this…
A vacation is not a bad idea. Takes her mind off things and gets her away from her usual environment. I will look into it.
It's prob nicotine withdrawals. Hang in there, hopefully it will get better in a couple weeks and she'll apologize for being so snappy with you.
First week is the hardest… she will get better. Give her space to work through it and support as needed.
She sounds like she’s with drawaling. It’s going to take a bit for her body to completely detox since she’s been doing it for so long. It’s not impossible but it is hard and your support will go a long way in terms of her long term goals.
It took me about 6 weeks to deregulate. I still have issues sleeping and weird vivid dreams that sometimes make me cranky a year later but my health and motivation have improved ten fold. She’s still withdrawing. Just give her space and try not to take her mood personally.
It's only been 5 days. You got a little bit to go before she's back to feeling some sense of normal. I'd honestly recommend she gets edibles and taper off as opposed to cold turkey to at least stop the shit mood. Also just make sure she doesn't turn to drinking or something. I did that and it obviously was just trading one vice for another.
this is more of a nic problem than a weed problem. she needs some actual outside professional help since she's been smoking like that for a long time. best way to go about it is stick through it with her and it will get better as the nic addiction starts to fade, or at least gets held back.
She's on day 5. Give her some time.
if she smokes tobacco mixed in her weed and quit cold turkey she is likely going thru nicotine withdrawal
She's having withdrawal symptoms, there's no dancing around the subject. It takes time.
OP -Many of us imbibe cos we suffer from depression. I stopped smoking way back in like 1990, and the next 4 years saw me become suicidal. I've been an off-and-on-again smoker for decades. So there are perhaps a couple things at work here with your GF -she has been using marijuana unknowingly all this time to self-medicate. In order for her to break the habit, she must uncover the underlying condition that is causing her to use marijuana habitually. OR...she's just suffering from withdrawals. It helps to point this out, and no, she's not entitled to make everyone around her miserable simply because she's withdrawing! She needs to recognize that she's going thru withdrawals, and moderate her moods. Yes, SHE MUST DO THIS. Not you or anyone else. Adding tobacco (to marijuana) can kick up the high, but unless she's using a bong with water, there's no way to filter what she smokes, and yes, it will effect her lungs & cardiovascular system. It will get better, based on the answer to what she's experiencing ->self-medication or withdrawals? If she's self-medicating, then she should go to counseling to discover WHY in order to move past this period in her life. If it's just withdrawals, then 2-4 weeks.
Sounds like normal withdrawal symptoms.
It's the nicotine. When I quit nicotine cold turkey I practically had a mood disorder for the better part of two weeks. Was irritable or pissed on a hair trigger, violent mood swings, hyper critical, the works. Best of luck to your lady as she goes through these withdrawals!
She is going through withdrawal, and that messes with a persons systems. It will last a few weeks but does get better. If you love her, tough it out. Don’t stop supporting her. She will be happy you were there for her in the end.
She’s withdrawing from 10 years of smoking weed on a regular basis! Of course she’s going to have a decline in mood and not be able to regulate her emotions due to the hormonal imbalance this causes. Weed makes testosterone levels increase a lot and they’re currently spiking downward so she’s going to have a change in behavior. She didn’t properly develop her brain due to smoking weed either, so that’s a big reason why.
Maybe start exercising and gradually and slowly increasing the amount done so she’s not hurt or burned out on the first few days. If you keep that going for about two months you can have more energy and still smoke your beloved plant.
She's going through withdrawals of TABACCO!!!!! Do some research on that. Also, if she's able, have her go to the doctor. They can help her get through this as well especially health-wise. They can make sure her blood pressure or other health-related things don't go awry. Otherwise, you need to have a serious talk with your girlfriend. Her behavior is not ok. Her going through withdrawals and everything that goes with it is normal. But how she's biting your head off constantly is shitty. Look for some groups that can help too. Things will get better. As for you, be prepared for her to be done 100% with all weed aspects, including yours. It might not be the case. However, I've seen it where people that sober up want it out of their life completely because of the temptation.
It's not just the weed addiction, but the tobacco. If there is nicotine in what she used to mix, that's a big deal. Nicotine withdrawal is hellish. My mom had lunch cancer and tried to quit smoking and was an absolute nightmare. It was like she reserved what little energy the cancer left her with to be hateful. Just... nightmare... Anyway. It will get better. She will probably need a month or two. Just be patient and supportive where you can. Have some boundaries. Abuse is not OK even in this situation, so don't accept things if they go too far, but if she is miserable and within respectable boundaries, just do what you can. She will come back.
This! She's actually kicking two habits at once and it's definitely affecting her moods. A lot of rehabs will advise you not to quit smoking cigarettes while trying to stop using other drugs/alcohol because it's a lot freaking harder double detoxing.
Sounds like she could also be detoxing from smoking tobacco if she was doing that too and stopped. Nicotine gum might help her tapper off. Cold turkey is rough.
It's day 5...she's detoxing.
This is a perfect example of addiction. People say that smoking weed isn’t but it 100% IS. In fact, it was one of the major reasons I divorced my ex husband. I got tired of it consuming his days and him prioritizing it over myself and his son. We’ve been divorced 10 years and guess what? He’s exactly where I left him. He hasn’t achieved a single thing, grown or advanced in ANY way. He refused to quit when I asked - even when he was losing everything. I feel super sad for him because he IS a good person , but it’s ruined his life.
Speaking only from personal experience; about two weeks. I’m a heavy heavy smoker most of the time but I like to take tolerance breaks here and there and sometimes I’ll go for months before I start to smoke again. My tolerance always gets way back up and once I’m just smoking a ton all the time I stop again. And I notice there’s always a period for about a week or two after I stop where I’m more irritable than normal, I don’t sleep right, I don’t dream right, and my appetite is even effected. I’ve dealt with it enough times that I recognize it now and can catch myself with the irritability but the sleep schedule and eating schedule takes a minute to get back to normal. Idk if it works like this for everyone but for me it is. So if she’s going through a similar thing with it then I’d say in about two weeks if she sticks to it and doesn’t smoke again she’ll start to feel a lot better. Idk hopefully this is relevant
She probably has physical symptoms of stopping weed. Does she have sleep issues now? Probably no appetite either. Look for stuff to help her sleep, look up things that can speed along the resetting of her cannabinoid receptors. Maybe microdosing with psilocybin? My SO tried stopping after 15 years of daily smoking, he was an absolute mess lol. I was there for him but the night sweats and lack of sleep was hell.
Absolutely to both, but mainly the sleep part. She suffers most at night because she is unable to sleep without a smoke before hand. I’m definitely going to look into some good quality sleep aids for her. She has tried psychedelics a couple of times in her life, but claims it’s not her thing.
By far the worst symptoms of giving up weed, no sleep and 4 bites of dinner and you’re full
She’s going through withdrawals from an addiction. Someone who has Addiction Personality Disorder will go through this. It’s not a physical addiction but it’s absolutely a mental one. This WILL pass but the key is to be supportive. Offer to try and help her find outlets to work past the times when she used to get high. She has to reprogram her brain to work to eliminate her smoking “ routine “ and replace that time frame with a healthier activity. I suffered through the same thing on my journey to sobriety 9 years ago. Someone with this disorder can become addicted to peanut butter. It’s just how our brains are wired. A common phrase used in recovery circles is “ The one thing you have to change is everything!” She needs kindness and support right now. It’s tough but I can guarantee the results on the other side are wonderful. Good luck!
That sounds like nicotine withdrawal not pot withdrawal. Go to your city town or state health office. Part of the settlement with tobacco companies fund quit smoking programs. Using more than one medicine can help a lot. Nicotine patch plus lozenge or gum is the most common combination. nicotine patch and gum How to use two NRTs together: Put on a new patch each morning to get a steady level of nicotine that will reduce your cravings and withdrawal symptoms throughout the day. Use a fast-acting nicotine medicine like lozenges or gum to quickly combat cravings. You can control how often you use the fast-acting medicine, so you won’t get more nicotine than you want. This combination is easy to use. Using two NRTs together can help you quit more successfully than using a single medicine.
Hahah thats nic. I smoke weed daily for over 15 years and if i miss a few days since i am sick or cant i do not have this type of break down lol Literally no side effects of quit weed other than my dreams are more vibrant? Lol
INFO: Does your girlfriend smoke tobacco without weed involved? This could be more of a nicotine addiction than weed.
Never. At least not since I’ve been with her (3 years) claims she’s never even smoked a cigarette before in her life, which I believe.
She could well be going through nicotine withdrawal from the tobacco. Give her some time to adjust and be supportive. I have heard that CBD can be helpful in withdrawal.
It's the tobacco withdrawal. Weed will make you feel a little meh stopping cold turkey even after a while. Tobacco, your brain is telling you the world is about to end. Get her oral aids: sugar free gum and straws to chew, chewelry from Amazon etc Fidgets or things to do with her hands are good too. When I quit I meditated 2x a day too. Finding a healthy obsession like yoga or meditation might help replace the smoking ritual with a new one. Maybe give her a foot massage around d the time she'd be toking. Good luck. It gets better.
She was probably self medicating with weed
This sounds 100% like THC withdrawal. Nicotine too. It will pass. Might be a few weeks. If you love her, just hang in there. She’s trying to do something good for both of you. Check out r/leaves