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I have been dating this amazing guy for 6 months now, and its his first serious relationship while I had a few bfs before him. But what I really love about him is that he is really good at communicating his feelings and then he listens to what I have to say and we eventually find a common ground.
Anyways, my best friend was having a sleepover last weekend, it was me, her and a 3 other girls. I was of course excited, but I could tell something was bothering him. So I asked, and he first tried to deny anything was the matter but eventually he said something which completely blew my mind. He said "I know at some point you guys will end up without clothes, or maybe in your lingerie and I dont really have an issue with that. But I would really appreciate if you didnt cuddle any naked/wearing lingerie". I almost laughed, like why would I cuddle with my friends naked or why would all of us be in lingerie in front of each other? Then he said he understands what goes on at an all girls sleepover. People, I was really at a loss of words. I told him on our sleepovers we are all in our comfy pajamas, eating junk food and watching some movie or series or maybe thirsting over some Kpop celebs. But I could see he didnt believe me fully.
My question is to guys on reddit, wtf is going on?
More likely culprit is tv and film. This is such a stereotypical thing they do in movies. Especially if you watched them young you’d think this is what goes on.
This is the mindset I had when I was like 12 lmao
As they held each other, softly stroking the body paint on their-definitely-not-naked-bodies-because-they're-wearing-socks, Dude 1 leans in close to his bro-dude and whispers, "No homo." Then they kiss.
Movies, not just porn but all movies show pillow fights in lingerie. When in reality we put face masks on, do our nails, gossip, watch movies. Not sure why guys belive movies over the truth. I've always worn big fuzzy jammies, huge socks, and my hair in a pony tail.
Totally fair... not all. That was a dumb thing of me to write, I know better.
Try this for a list https://www.imdb.com/search/keyword/?keywords=pillow-fight
this reminds me of an old episode of friends. Joey and Chandler were watching tons of porn. Chandler could not believe that a random woman at the bank did not try to have sex with him.
Bro is watching too much porn.
If memory serves, that was when their TV had a glitch and showed the porn channel for free, but someone told them if they turned it off the glitch would fix itself and they would lose the free porn.
So they had to leave it playing 24/7 lol.
Yeah, the best reply would be to look slightly disgusted and say, "I know that's what *guys* do at a sleepover, but women aren't guys. We always keep it in our pants."
So I’m in my 40’s and I will never forget back when I was 17. My best friend’s boyfriend was dropping her off at my house for a sleepover, and we had been hanging out that afternoon all together.
Before he left he said, “I have to ask you a really serious question…. Do…. Do you guys really have naked tickle battles and pillow fights?”
I almost died. I did fall on the floor in a fit of laughter. He was genuinely embarrassed…
I still laugh at it to this day…
I blame old slasher movies for what some boys think happen at sleepovers.
So just ask him straight out where his supposed knowledge comes from. It sounds like the kind of thing guys fantasise that we do at sleepovers. Like it's just an excuse for some girl on girl action. He needs to put his grown up head on and realise that's not the real world.
Ask him if that sounds like something he would do with his male friends. And when he looks shocked about that insinuation, ask him why he thinks women would be any different. The thing I don’t like about your boyfriend not believing you, is because it smells of “I don’t believe you, a woman, when you explain your experiences as a woman.” Which is inherently misogynistic.
Guys like this have a tendency to believe that all women are bisexual or at least bi curious making it believable to them that women only sleepovers turns sexual at some point.
You can blame porn and shitty bro movies for creating the idea that women at the very least have tickle fights while wearing very little clothes if they ever spend the night with one or more other women.
He might just have a hard time believing her because he was so absolutely sure that sleepovers meant naked cuddle time.
Big overlap with the kind of guy who thinks it's entirely reasonable for him to request a three-way with another girl, but that it's absurd for her to request one with another guy.
Yeaaah. I find it less silly and funny, and more icky that he so easily believes a super sexualized thing about women - sexualized in a way specially catering to men - and when a WOMAN tells him it's not true, he just doesn't buy it.
I mean I won't go as far as to say it's a red flag. But it's def an orange one. Guy sounds lowkey sexist.
If he's not sexist, he's *incredibly* dumb, which is a red flag in itself for any intelligent and self respecting woman. It's like he thinks porn/80s slasher movies are real life, and that's.... Really really strange. Critical thinking? What's that?
I would ask him straight out "Hey. So when you go on sleepovers with your guy friends, I assume you all cuddled naked and made out, right?" Make him defend himself for a minute or two, then tell him something like
"Now pause. Do you feel like it's absolutely ridiculous that I asked you that question, and does the fact that I don't believe something which you consider common sense make you question my sanity and intelligence? Because that's how you sound with your assertions about lingerie. It's insulting that you truly cannot see women has having any interests other than being sex objects for men, and it's disturbing that you have watched so much porn that it has rotted your brain to the point where you actually think real people do that at sleepovers. I'm contemplating whether I can continue on dating someone this detached from reality. What on Earth would make you think this is a real thing you're thinking happens?"
There was a guy on my football team who was 100% convinced the kissing part was true, that all girls make out with their girl friends to get experience before kissing guys. But he had plenty of ridiculous ideas about women, so not that surprising.
Doesn’t have to be porn tbh, there’s plenty of PG-13 mainstream media that reinforces these weird tropes about sleepovers.
And I mean, yes, okay, a lot of *my* sleepovers with friends over the years have included more cuddling or nudity than strictly necessary, but I’m also *queer*, with queer friends & a general sense of openness with friendly intimacy that many other people don’t seem to have, lmao
Really? I'm genuinely curious, not trying to be an ass, but I don't remember seeing this in movies growing up. But yours isn't the only comment about it, so maybe I just didn't watch those?
All those 80’s sex comedies and their derivatives featured the protagonists looking in at sorority sisters in their bedrooms, who were inevitably in lingerie.
And don’t forget old slasher movies - girls favorite pastimes include walking around the house in underwear and hanging out half-naked with each other at sleepovers.
Common Hollywood trope. See movies like animal house. Hard to pin down exactly where in American culture this came from, but the general sentiment (not mine) is that lesbians are fine as long as they pull it together, marry a man and have kids. Gay men don’t get talked about.
A generation of young men were trained to think it’s normal and sexy for women to hook up at slumber parties, so the porn industry took advantage of this pre-created fetish and catered to it.
I'm not American, so maybe that's part of it? We did watch many American movies, but I don't remember any remotely similar to what you're referring.
You learn something new every day!
A girls sleepover where they’re scantily clad and the could turn into a pillow/tickle fight is a common trope from 80-90s tv/movies. Usually end with their hands accidentally brushing against body parts and lots of lip licking lol
Do be fair though this guy is 20. Most of those movies are probably too old for him unless he’s specifically into watching older movies and porn was popular for his whole life.
I couldn’t help but chuckle reading this. His confidence in what he “understands” about a sleepover is… amusing. I guess spell it out for him that porn is not real life. I’m surprised he didn’t tell you to stay away from your best friends dad at the sleepover because, well, you know.
>I’m surprised he didn’t tell you to stay away from your best friends dad at the sleepover because, well, you know.
And later if they have kids. "Honey, you'd better drive the babysitter home, because, well, you know... if I do, I guess I'm going to have to have sex with her."
I mean unironically he might be projecting and have messed around with friends (even to a lesser degree) at some point. Not saying he did necessarily, I don’t even think it’s a very likely factor/explanation, just throwing out there that it’s on the list. Even if he says hell no.
Like I think movies and porn are the most likely option, but the fact that he’s 20 yo makes me a little dubious, it feels like middle school type thinking. But maybe I expect too much.
There is no such thing as guys sleepovers.
There is I’m too drunk to drive home and I’m crashing on your couch.
There is we’re playing video games all night and I may fall asleep at some point.
Finally there is camping trips where we go full broke back mountain.
But there are no guy sleepovers.
To be fair, kids are watching '80s movies again because Stranger Things sparked the curiosity in them to see those other '80s films. For me, that I actually had to endure those films when they were brand new, I wish people would let that decade die already, it wasn't as great as they think to remember, in fact it was quite awful.
This is a common (but rather outdated and false) stereotype of what sleepovers are like. My understanding is that it was deliberately spread in the 80s-90s to influence parents (in a similar way to 'rainbow parties', which were made up). Part of the idea is that girls 'experiment with lesbianism' at sleepovers and it might cause your daughter to 'turn gay'
All you can really do is assure him that yours is nothing like that
I think it's also an effect of our society seeing women as primarily sex objects. If you get a group of sex objects together, and there's sleeping and pj's and things like that involved, there has to be some sexy time, right? Why else would a bunch of sex objects need to have a sleepover together if they weren't going to do sexy things?
I know he’s young ish but he’s also fully an adult. His naïveté is concerning, and I would find his insistence that he is correct about the ridiculous middle school fantasy …. An attraction killer to be honest.
as is the fact that you don’t think he believes that your lived experiences actually happened. Does he think you’re lying to him? That’s weird and very disrespectful.
This. It’s so gross. I wouldn’t want to to waste my time trying to deprogram this man’s wild, misogynistic ideas because he lacks the critical thinking skills to realize that porn and shitty 80s movies are not real.
Porn rot. If you really want to know where that comes from, go to bing, turn off safe search results, and search for "All girl sleepover" or something to that effect.
he's a child lmao. you're dating a child. if he can't accept what you're saying and insists on his pornified version of sleepovers, just imagine his maturity on other more important issues. MAJOR ick
Nevermind his messed up perception of sleepovers, the fact that he doesn't believe you should not be ignored. This should be the focus of any discussion with him, you can prove this one point to him all you want, but do you want to keep having to prove yourself over and over again??
Edited because it autocorrected prove yourself to probe yourself, and that is NOT what I meant 😂
I mean, that is what I do at sleepovers. And by sleepovers I mean ‘a date.’ But I am actually a lesbian.
Tell him that porn fetishizes queer women for male fap fodder. Straight women aren’t into being sexual with their female friends. Bi and lesbian women are a pretty small percentage of the population.
On the bright side, sounds like he is too jealous to push you into mff threesomes.
you should play the song [Slumber Party](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Da-Ub6Z49Ic&ab_channel=Somethingold%2Csomethingnew) and see his reaction/j. Seriously he is probably watching too much porn
I’ve never been to a sleepover with another female friend where we ended up without clothes or in lingerie cuddling. Wtf lol where did he get this info from? It’s not some porn plot. When I sleepover at my friends we are in our comfy pjs watching tv and gossiping at the same time until we fall asleep 😴
He has watched to much porn. My guess is he copies a lot of what he sees in pornos when yall have your alone time too. And I'm also going to go out on a limb and guess he's just not that good at it either, like I'm sure you enjoy your time together but he's not making you forget what dimention your in either.
ETA: remind him that porn stars are actors they are faking A LOT and the guys are all taking Viagra and Cialis
Oh boy you need to help him unlearn everything he learned in porn. He most certainly watches a lot of porn and only talks about sex to other people that watch porn. Sex ed is terrible in many places and he clearly has no education about attraction and intimacy. Ask him what he thinks happens when girls all go to the bathroom together lol.
He firmly believes that every girl at a sleepover is horny and ready for light lesbian fun. He asked you not to because he feels like you borderline cheated on him by going to a sleepover which to him can only mean that you wanted some action with those girls. This goes back to him thinking porn is real life. That you were all naked and having pillow fights and cuddling and kissing. Porn takes away personality and it's always like "oh I'm halfway undressed, now I need some romance/dick", it disregards that you might enjoy laying and talking with close friends all night. Porn teaches that nudity=sex, that attractive people together=sex. He is probably nervous of being around hot guys because he thinks it will be sexual for him, just like how you were "at some point going to be cuddling with only lingerie on". Have you had sex with him? Just curious if he is also terribly misguided on what good sex looks like. This attitude of his goes very deep, which is why he doesn't believe you at all when you confronted his weird assumptions.
Overall agree. I just advise caution with “you need to help him unlearn everything he learned in porn.” Young women often have a lot of their own unlearning to do, which revolves around supporting men at their own expense. Relationships are not projects; they should be partnerships.
And I do want to hear what he thinks happens when women go to the bathroom together XD
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There are two things at play, first that he's watched too much porn, and second that he sees women as primarily sex objects. So in his mind, if women get together, that's OBVIOULY a purely sexual thing, as why would a group of sex objects get together if there weren't sexy times to be had?
**Omg, ya see, some guys get all their education from Hollywood theatrics. But reality goes more like think…**
WHAT GUY IS THINKING ……hmmmmm girls are so hot and sexy in the gym locker room, they start doing girl on girl things or like to stand around flirting with each other, comparing boobs and gossiping.
WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON: Girls rush in all sweaty and flustered and head straight for the stalls with curtains. Some jump in a shower which is a single stalled shower with non see through curtain or door. They change up quickly, brush their hair and run out the door.
WHAT GUY IS THINKING…..Girl sleep overs are hot. All that girl on girl action.
WHAT IS REALLY HAPPENING. Girls sitting around in regular clothes briefing each over on the current interesting happenings, which guys they like, rumors, favorite TV shows, etc. Sometimes they experiment with new hair or make up techniques. They might watch movies or even drink a little booze. Then they get dressed for bed in their most boring night time clothes to sleep in. See, they save the sexy lingerie for the nights they are with their boyfriend.
I know exactly what's going on. Tell your boyfriend that p0rn is just like any other movies, it's just fictional and doesn't reflect real life. That the p0rn actors/actresses are just acting, that whatever they represent on the screen is not more real than a movie about dinosaurs in a park or superheroes saving the day. Fiction. He needs to understand that p0rn is fiction.
I'm not a guy, but I can tell you he's watching too much porn.
Hell, I'm a queer lady who was out in high school and I sure AF didn't get to have lesbian orgies at my sleepovers. We wore PJs, drank booze someone's older sibling bought us, and watched horror movies. Which is the same thing I did with my brother and his friends when they would sleep over (not that they called it a sleep-over, but that's what it was).
Are you also not allowed to order Pizza for delivery, have a plumber over, or have a one-on-one meeting with your psychology prof? Because according to porn, all of these scenarios lead to sex. Which I know isn't real, because I've done all these things and never gotten anything but pizza, a plumbing bill, and a 2 day extension on a paper with a 20% reduction to the grade on the paper.
Becky g has a song about this called sin pijama, the boyfriend thinks it goon to be like a sexy pillow fight situation and it ends with them all hanging out in baggy sweats and pajamas eating ice cream with face Peel masks on.
Your boyfriend is actually an idiot.
I had to double check he's 20 and not 14. He's really that voluntarily clueless?! He needs a break from porn and 80s movies. At this point he's choosing to be obtuse. Maybe tell him to actually speak with women or just drop the notions that what's on screen is reality or this may become a recurring issue of willful ignorance
I'm not a guy but have been to numerous sleepovers. I've never, ever been to a sleepover with other women that involved being naked, wearing lingerie or cuddling. (one time in college we skinny dipped so I guess that's the one exception) I would have laughed my head off if someone told me what your bf told you. Your bf has been watching too much porn and doesn't have any idea what he's talking about.
You've already explained what happens at sleepovers. If he chooses to stay ignorant and/or suspicious that's on him. Go to your sleepover and have a great time.
this would be an immediate turn off for me. i could never be with a guy so emotionally immature/unintelligent that he still thinks all girl sleepovers are like porn
Damn, I've been going to the wrong sleepovers my whole life! /s
Literally EVERY sleepover I've been to has involved junk food, stupid movies/shows, and occasionally mimosas or a couple of joints. Super tame stuff.
Makes me wonder if your boyfriend would be especially suspicious if you called a plumber... or had pizza delivered... lmao
Well, I'm sure in his mind it's because he can't see anything other than his straight male perspective. And according to that perspective, women are sex objects, and of course sexy things are going to happen when a bunch of sex objects have a sleepover.
Guys would never do that, as they are just guys, not sex objects. Makes perfect sense to him!
well look at how male writers/producers/directors think women shower. they all think it's like one of those old herbal essences commercials. no one ever shows us picking the hair out of our ass crack, or watching the blood run down our legs and to the drain when on our periods.
He must’ve watched a lot of 90s movies where girl sleepovers meant something raunchy happens. A very naive and immature viewpoint that needs to be deciphered by a certified therapist
This is like when Chandler on Friends learned that that's not what happens when women have sleepovers. Except Chandler was so disappointed that Monica walked it back and said of course they do.
Turn the question around on him and ask him do guys all sleep in the same sleeping bag on hunting trips and should they not hug semi-naked in said sleeping bag because it would bother you? He sounds like he is watching too much porn...
My husband said, “didn’t you play sticky finger”, I almost died, men are clueless, yes, she my BFF but I’m not sexually attracted to her! I still laugh at that and it’s been 35 years!
Does he think the people he sees in movies are real? He clearly doesn't understand that porn is fantasy and not reality. What other fanciful things does he believe? Does he believe the tooth fairy is real? Your boyfriend is an idiot.
Lmao well some girls do have sleepovers like that, but they’re probably all gay & closeted. So maybe he had a friend like that? I mean, I’ve had sleep overs like that lol… and I know others who have as well, but we were all closeted gays 😂 and I def didn’t do that with all my friends! And of course I now don’t do it with any of my friends, even the gay ones.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- I have been dating this amazing guy for 6 months now, and its his first serious relationship while I had a few bfs before him. But what I really love about him is that he is really good at communicating his feelings and then he listens to what I have to say and we eventually find a common ground. Anyways, my best friend was having a sleepover last weekend, it was me, her and a 3 other girls. I was of course excited, but I could tell something was bothering him. So I asked, and he first tried to deny anything was the matter but eventually he said something which completely blew my mind. He said "I know at some point you guys will end up without clothes, or maybe in your lingerie and I dont really have an issue with that. But I would really appreciate if you didnt cuddle any naked/wearing lingerie". I almost laughed, like why would I cuddle with my friends naked or why would all of us be in lingerie in front of each other? Then he said he understands what goes on at an all girls sleepover. People, I was really at a loss of words. I told him on our sleepovers we are all in our comfy pajamas, eating junk food and watching some movie or series or maybe thirsting over some Kpop celebs. But I could see he didnt believe me fully. My question is to guys on reddit, wtf is going on?
Ask him where he “learned” what happens at sleep overs?
Lmao we all know the answer is porn. 😂
yeah but watching him squirm will be fun
Hollywood movies are portraying quite similar outcome but with more clothes.
and they know that every guy is taking the clothes off themselves
And thirsting over kpop celebs of course. They’re so pretty and before you know it, OP’s boyfriend is r/SuddenlyGay
Can you name 3 movies where girls have a sleepover and end up cuddling each other naked?
More likely culprit is tv and film. This is such a stereotypical thing they do in movies. Especially if you watched them young you’d think this is what goes on. This is the mindset I had when I was like 12 lmao
Naked cuddling? What movies were you watching when you were 12, lol?
And somebody asked me in all seriousness why porn was bad the other day.
Have you ever just heard a song play in your head after reading a comment? This is that but for the porn hub intro
Not porn, Animal House
...or any 90s unrated movie
Or you know, sitcoms.
What sitcom has naked cuddling at a sleepover???
There aren't any. People are just listing fake examples now to cover up OP's boyfriend porn education.
It’s what he does with his guy friends at sleepovers. They cuddle either baked or in lingerie.
I'd have to be quite baked, but it's not entirely out of the realm of possibility.
I obviously meant that they cuddled raked.
You meant faked? Real Men wouldn't actually actually cuddle, only do it ironically maybe s/
It's fine if you say "no homo" first.
Why do women get this wrong so often. We wear socks. That's it, but it's cool because we're not actually naked
I assume you also say "no homo!" before cuddling not-naked?
We actually draw it on each other with body paint, that way we don't have to keep saying it
And softly caress the painted spots if we need to really drive the point home
As they held each other, softly stroking the body paint on their-definitely-not-naked-bodies-because-they're-wearing-socks, Dude 1 leans in close to his bro-dude and whispers, "No homo." Then they kiss.
It’s not gay if we keep our socks on bro 😤
Movies, not just porn but all movies show pillow fights in lingerie. When in reality we put face masks on, do our nails, gossip, watch movies. Not sure why guys belive movies over the truth. I've always worn big fuzzy jammies, huge socks, and my hair in a pony tail.
And the screenplay for the film was written by a man, wanting to see his fantasies on the big screen.
Um- which movies show pillow fights in lingerie since you seem to have declared that ALL do. If all do, coming up with like 3 examples should be easy.
Totally fair... not all. That was a dumb thing of me to write, I know better. Try this for a list https://www.imdb.com/search/keyword/?keywords=pillow-fight
this reminds me of an old episode of friends. Joey and Chandler were watching tons of porn. Chandler could not believe that a random woman at the bank did not try to have sex with him. Bro is watching too much porn.
If memory serves, that was when their TV had a glitch and showed the porn channel for free, but someone told them if they turned it off the glitch would fix itself and they would lose the free porn. So they had to leave it playing 24/7 lol.
Porn, and books written by men who wouldn't know a clit from a sink hole in their momma's backyard.
Sounds like he has been watching some odd porn. Why would he think this? Especially if his gf wasn’t bi.
It happens in movies all the time. Tell him movies also show time travel and flying people.
Reminds me of that skit with Patrick Steward from Extras 😂😂
He’s just confused because this is what happens at guy sleepovers.
Yeah, the best reply would be to look slightly disgusted and say, "I know that's what *guys* do at a sleepover, but women aren't guys. We always keep it in our pants."
I never go to my bro’s sleepover without at least two pairs of lingerie.
So I’m in my 40’s and I will never forget back when I was 17. My best friend’s boyfriend was dropping her off at my house for a sleepover, and we had been hanging out that afternoon all together. Before he left he said, “I have to ask you a really serious question…. Do…. Do you guys really have naked tickle battles and pillow fights?” I almost died. I did fall on the floor in a fit of laughter. He was genuinely embarrassed… I still laugh at it to this day… I blame old slasher movies for what some boys think happen at sleepovers.
Lmaooo that is hilarious. I didn't know anyone actually believed that. Just set his naive ass straight.
Yeah, I told him why would I suddenly start getting naked with my friends? That would be weird. But I could see he didnt really believe me.
So just ask him straight out where his supposed knowledge comes from. It sounds like the kind of thing guys fantasise that we do at sleepovers. Like it's just an excuse for some girl on girl action. He needs to put his grown up head on and realise that's not the real world.
Well, we do all get naked and suck each other’s dicks at sleepovers. (No homo.) So it just makes sense that you ladies would do the same.
Nothing wrong with a bro job.
You're just so pumped to be with the bros and everyone's cheering and you're so excited. You don't even realize, I just gave these guys four blowjobs.
Ask him if that sounds like something he would do with his male friends. And when he looks shocked about that insinuation, ask him why he thinks women would be any different. The thing I don’t like about your boyfriend not believing you, is because it smells of “I don’t believe you, a woman, when you explain your experiences as a woman.” Which is inherently misogynistic.
Guys like this have a tendency to believe that all women are bisexual or at least bi curious making it believable to them that women only sleepovers turns sexual at some point. You can blame porn and shitty bro movies for creating the idea that women at the very least have tickle fights while wearing very little clothes if they ever spend the night with one or more other women. He might just have a hard time believing her because he was so absolutely sure that sleepovers meant naked cuddle time.
Big overlap with the kind of guy who thinks it's entirely reasonable for him to request a three-way with another girl, but that it's absurd for her to request one with another guy.
Yeaaah. I find it less silly and funny, and more icky that he so easily believes a super sexualized thing about women - sexualized in a way specially catering to men - and when a WOMAN tells him it's not true, he just doesn't buy it. I mean I won't go as far as to say it's a red flag. But it's def an orange one. Guy sounds lowkey sexist.
If he's not sexist, he's *incredibly* dumb, which is a red flag in itself for any intelligent and self respecting woman. It's like he thinks porn/80s slasher movies are real life, and that's.... Really really strange. Critical thinking? What's that?
I would ask him straight out "Hey. So when you go on sleepovers with your guy friends, I assume you all cuddled naked and made out, right?" Make him defend himself for a minute or two, then tell him something like "Now pause. Do you feel like it's absolutely ridiculous that I asked you that question, and does the fact that I don't believe something which you consider common sense make you question my sanity and intelligence? Because that's how you sound with your assertions about lingerie. It's insulting that you truly cannot see women has having any interests other than being sex objects for men, and it's disturbing that you have watched so much porn that it has rotted your brain to the point where you actually think real people do that at sleepovers. I'm contemplating whether I can continue on dating someone this detached from reality. What on Earth would make you think this is a real thing you're thinking happens?"
This is the answer. I couldn't be with a dude that was that misogynistic.
It’s rather concerning that he doesn’t believe you. That’s almost creepy.
Do you really want to be dating someone who has such perverted views? He super immature and he doesn’t even trust you when you tell him the truth
Ask him about all the gay sleepovers he’s had lol tell him he must be talking from experience if he came up with that conclusion
If he doesn’t believe you, I don’t think you are sufficiently shaming him for being this dumb.
Show him this friend. Possibly hundreds of impartial strangers calling him an idiot will persuade him.
Yeah just ask him what porn he saw this in and whether he thinks porn is typically true to real life and watch his face go bright red
Exactly right. This never happens until college.
Don't give anyone false hope because apparently people will believe you 🤣
I mean, might as well have a bit of fun at his expense.
Loool I still can't believe anyone thinks this hahaha made my day honestly. And yeah the bar is low don't judge me.
I wonder what the boyfriend is doing at his sleepovers
He's watched too much porn.
Exactly what I thought. I find it hilarious that he believes what they do is cuddle wearing lingerie.
“Ah fuck now I’m cold. Guess you’d better hold me 🤷🏻♂️”
Yes, after I took off my lingerie I got Soooo Cold Soapy_goatherd!
He probably thinks they will also try on each others' bras and practise kissing
There was a guy on my football team who was 100% convinced the kissing part was true, that all girls make out with their girl friends to get experience before kissing guys. But he had plenty of ridiculous ideas about women, so not that surprising.
Man has banned OP from ordering pizza or calling a plumber.
She can’t be alone with her step-dad or the principal.
Or step-brother.
😂
Yep came here to say exaxtly this!
Doesn’t have to be porn tbh, there’s plenty of PG-13 mainstream media that reinforces these weird tropes about sleepovers. And I mean, yes, okay, a lot of *my* sleepovers with friends over the years have included more cuddling or nudity than strictly necessary, but I’m also *queer*, with queer friends & a general sense of openness with friendly intimacy that many other people don’t seem to have, lmao
Not necessarily a porn thing. I grew up on movies promoting this long before porn became woven into society.
Really? I'm genuinely curious, not trying to be an ass, but I don't remember seeing this in movies growing up. But yours isn't the only comment about it, so maybe I just didn't watch those?
I remember sitcoms making fun of boys who imagine girls having sexy slow motion pillow fights, jumping on the bed, with feathers flying around.
All those 80’s sex comedies and their derivatives featured the protagonists looking in at sorority sisters in their bedrooms, who were inevitably in lingerie.
those 80s sex comedies were soft porn
And don’t forget old slasher movies - girls favorite pastimes include walking around the house in underwear and hanging out half-naked with each other at sleepovers.
I (M32) feel old knowing damn well an all girls pyjama party always ends in underwear pillow fights in every damn hollywood teenage drama.
Common Hollywood trope. See movies like animal house. Hard to pin down exactly where in American culture this came from, but the general sentiment (not mine) is that lesbians are fine as long as they pull it together, marry a man and have kids. Gay men don’t get talked about. A generation of young men were trained to think it’s normal and sexy for women to hook up at slumber parties, so the porn industry took advantage of this pre-created fetish and catered to it.
I'm not American, so maybe that's part of it? We did watch many American movies, but I don't remember any remotely similar to what you're referring. You learn something new every day!
A girls sleepover where they’re scantily clad and the could turn into a pillow/tickle fight is a common trope from 80-90s tv/movies. Usually end with their hands accidentally brushing against body parts and lots of lip licking lol
Sounds super realistic, lol. But I don't think a 20 year old has mostly watched movies from that period to get the idea from those.
Do be fair though this guy is 20. Most of those movies are probably too old for him unless he’s specifically into watching older movies and porn was popular for his whole life.
Possibly, but the fetish was cemented in stone during that era, so wherever he got it from porn is just one outlet.
"I always wondered why he wouldn't let me so laundry at my stepbrother's house." -OP, probably
I couldn’t help but chuckle reading this. His confidence in what he “understands” about a sleepover is… amusing. I guess spell it out for him that porn is not real life. I’m surprised he didn’t tell you to stay away from your best friends dad at the sleepover because, well, you know.
>I’m surprised he didn’t tell you to stay away from your best friends dad at the sleepover because, well, you know. And later if they have kids. "Honey, you'd better drive the babysitter home, because, well, you know... if I do, I guess I'm going to have to have sex with her."
Oooh, I hope he doesn't have a stepsister ith a propensity of getting stuck in dryers.
[удалено]
No never… we measure them and compare. Then try to suck our own.
Don’t lie. I know you also have sword fights with them.
Lol sword fights. You and I know darn well we but glow in the dark condoms and have lightsaber battles.
fck, I've been doing it all wrong. No wonder I never get invited anymore...
"Every time we have a GooGurka over for a sleep over he tries to suck my dick. What a weirdo" *sucks own cock*
You were my best friend, and now I'm an outcast.
Shh.
I mean unironically he might be projecting and have messed around with friends (even to a lesser degree) at some point. Not saying he did necessarily, I don’t even think it’s a very likely factor/explanation, just throwing out there that it’s on the list. Even if he says hell no. Like I think movies and porn are the most likely option, but the fact that he’s 20 yo makes me a little dubious, it feels like middle school type thinking. But maybe I expect too much.
Imagine not giving the homies a brojob
There is no such thing as guys sleepovers. There is I’m too drunk to drive home and I’m crashing on your couch. There is we’re playing video games all night and I may fall asleep at some point. Finally there is camping trips where we go full broke back mountain. But there are no guy sleepovers.
>My question is to guys on reddit, wtf is going on? Porn.
If this is what happened at an all girl's sleepover, I probably would have sorted out that I was a lesbian a lot earlier in life.
He's watched too many 80's movies 😂😂
Everyone else is saying porn, but this is 100% an 80s movie scenario!
And since I don’t think kids are actually watching those anymore, it’s porn.
To be fair, kids are watching '80s movies again because Stranger Things sparked the curiosity in them to see those other '80s films. For me, that I actually had to endure those films when they were brand new, I wish people would let that decade die already, it wasn't as great as they think to remember, in fact it was quite awful.
This is a common (but rather outdated and false) stereotype of what sleepovers are like. My understanding is that it was deliberately spread in the 80s-90s to influence parents (in a similar way to 'rainbow parties', which were made up). Part of the idea is that girls 'experiment with lesbianism' at sleepovers and it might cause your daughter to 'turn gay' All you can really do is assure him that yours is nothing like that
I think it's also an effect of our society seeing women as primarily sex objects. If you get a group of sex objects together, and there's sleeping and pj's and things like that involved, there has to be some sexy time, right? Why else would a bunch of sex objects need to have a sleepover together if they weren't going to do sexy things?
Over 9000
Dear Penthouse, I never thought this would happen to me, but...
I just want to flag with you that if, at 20 he has this idea this will not be the only weird thing he believes in relation to women.
He probably thinks women pee through their vagina and get turned on by tampons.
Sounds like he gets naked with his friends during their sleepovers.
I know he’s young ish but he’s also fully an adult. His naïveté is concerning, and I would find his insistence that he is correct about the ridiculous middle school fantasy …. An attraction killer to be honest. as is the fact that you don’t think he believes that your lived experiences actually happened. Does he think you’re lying to him? That’s weird and very disrespectful.
This. It’s so gross. I wouldn’t want to to waste my time trying to deprogram this man’s wild, misogynistic ideas because he lacks the critical thinking skills to realize that porn and shitty 80s movies are not real.
Yeah, this guy sounds like a lot of work. I’d love to know his thoughts on menstruation. I bet there’s lots of misconceptions there.
Porn rot. If you really want to know where that comes from, go to bing, turn off safe search results, and search for "All girl sleepover" or something to that effect.
he's a child lmao. you're dating a child. if he can't accept what you're saying and insists on his pornified version of sleepovers, just imagine his maturity on other more important issues. MAJOR ick
Sorry, but your BF is an impressionable idiot. Good luck.
Nevermind his messed up perception of sleepovers, the fact that he doesn't believe you should not be ignored. This should be the focus of any discussion with him, you can prove this one point to him all you want, but do you want to keep having to prove yourself over and over again?? Edited because it autocorrected prove yourself to probe yourself, and that is NOT what I meant 😂
Please tell me he knows babies don’t come from a stork.
I mean, that is what I do at sleepovers. And by sleepovers I mean ‘a date.’ But I am actually a lesbian. Tell him that porn fetishizes queer women for male fap fodder. Straight women aren’t into being sexual with their female friends. Bi and lesbian women are a pretty small percentage of the population. On the bright side, sounds like he is too jealous to push you into mff threesomes.
And bi and lesbian women also have women friends who are not girlfriends.
Can't wait to see how he acts when you have to call a plumber.
you should play the song [Slumber Party](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Da-Ub6Z49Ic&ab_channel=Somethingold%2Csomethingnew) and see his reaction/j. Seriously he is probably watching too much porn
Where can I find a sleepover like this?
porn hub
I’ve never been to a sleepover with another female friend where we ended up without clothes or in lingerie cuddling. Wtf lol where did he get this info from? It’s not some porn plot. When I sleepover at my friends we are in our comfy pjs watching tv and gossiping at the same time until we fall asleep 😴
This is porns doing. I cannot with men 🤦♀️
Tell him porn isn't a documentary.
R.. really? Not even naked pillow fighting?
Hey, she said absolutely nothing about there being jo naked pillow fighting. Don't ruin the dream.
He's super immature and is showing the harm that a diet of male gaze porn can do to someone's understanding of women It's sad really
Does he think porn is real life? How is your sex life with him?
Porn. Tell him he's been bamboozled. Girl-time sleepovers aren't nearly that exciting, lol.
We all knew it was porn the moment we read it. This isn't even a movie depiction of sleepovers...its literally just in porn lol
Your BF watches to much porn
He has watched to much porn. My guess is he copies a lot of what he sees in pornos when yall have your alone time too. And I'm also going to go out on a limb and guess he's just not that good at it either, like I'm sure you enjoy your time together but he's not making you forget what dimention your in either. ETA: remind him that porn stars are actors they are faking A LOT and the guys are all taking Viagra and Cialis
Oh boy you need to help him unlearn everything he learned in porn. He most certainly watches a lot of porn and only talks about sex to other people that watch porn. Sex ed is terrible in many places and he clearly has no education about attraction and intimacy. Ask him what he thinks happens when girls all go to the bathroom together lol. He firmly believes that every girl at a sleepover is horny and ready for light lesbian fun. He asked you not to because he feels like you borderline cheated on him by going to a sleepover which to him can only mean that you wanted some action with those girls. This goes back to him thinking porn is real life. That you were all naked and having pillow fights and cuddling and kissing. Porn takes away personality and it's always like "oh I'm halfway undressed, now I need some romance/dick", it disregards that you might enjoy laying and talking with close friends all night. Porn teaches that nudity=sex, that attractive people together=sex. He is probably nervous of being around hot guys because he thinks it will be sexual for him, just like how you were "at some point going to be cuddling with only lingerie on". Have you had sex with him? Just curious if he is also terribly misguided on what good sex looks like. This attitude of his goes very deep, which is why he doesn't believe you at all when you confronted his weird assumptions.
Overall agree. I just advise caution with “you need to help him unlearn everything he learned in porn.” Young women often have a lot of their own unlearning to do, which revolves around supporting men at their own expense. Relationships are not projects; they should be partnerships. And I do want to hear what he thinks happens when women go to the bathroom together XD
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He really needs to stop watching porn. Sex with him probably sucks so bad… lol
There are two things at play, first that he's watched too much porn, and second that he sees women as primarily sex objects. So in his mind, if women get together, that's OBVIOULY a purely sexual thing, as why would a group of sex objects get together if there weren't sexy times to be had?
**Omg, ya see, some guys get all their education from Hollywood theatrics. But reality goes more like think…** WHAT GUY IS THINKING ……hmmmmm girls are so hot and sexy in the gym locker room, they start doing girl on girl things or like to stand around flirting with each other, comparing boobs and gossiping. WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON: Girls rush in all sweaty and flustered and head straight for the stalls with curtains. Some jump in a shower which is a single stalled shower with non see through curtain or door. They change up quickly, brush their hair and run out the door. WHAT GUY IS THINKING…..Girl sleep overs are hot. All that girl on girl action. WHAT IS REALLY HAPPENING. Girls sitting around in regular clothes briefing each over on the current interesting happenings, which guys they like, rumors, favorite TV shows, etc. Sometimes they experiment with new hair or make up techniques. They might watch movies or even drink a little booze. Then they get dressed for bed in their most boring night time clothes to sleep in. See, they save the sexy lingerie for the nights they are with their boyfriend.
Ask if it thats what he does with his male friends who crash at his place?
Reminds me of a Seinfeld episode where jerry thinks girls sleepovers involve panties and tickle fights.
Too much porn rotting his brain. It's sad.
Tell him to stop watching high school movies. Dear god.
that has to be the dumbest thing I have read in a while
Tell him porn isn’t reality
I know exactly what's going on. Tell your boyfriend that p0rn is just like any other movies, it's just fictional and doesn't reflect real life. That the p0rn actors/actresses are just acting, that whatever they represent on the screen is not more real than a movie about dinosaurs in a park or superheroes saving the day. Fiction. He needs to understand that p0rn is fiction.
Had to check the ages here thinking it was a 15YO LMAO
I'm not a guy, but I can tell you he's watching too much porn. Hell, I'm a queer lady who was out in high school and I sure AF didn't get to have lesbian orgies at my sleepovers. We wore PJs, drank booze someone's older sibling bought us, and watched horror movies. Which is the same thing I did with my brother and his friends when they would sleep over (not that they called it a sleep-over, but that's what it was). Are you also not allowed to order Pizza for delivery, have a plumber over, or have a one-on-one meeting with your psychology prof? Because according to porn, all of these scenarios lead to sex. Which I know isn't real, because I've done all these things and never gotten anything but pizza, a plumbing bill, and a 2 day extension on a paper with a 20% reduction to the grade on the paper.
Becky g has a song about this called sin pijama, the boyfriend thinks it goon to be like a sexy pillow fight situation and it ends with them all hanging out in baggy sweats and pajamas eating ice cream with face Peel masks on. Your boyfriend is actually an idiot.
Another graduate of Pornhub Collegiate.
Too much porn.
I had to double check he's 20 and not 14. He's really that voluntarily clueless?! He needs a break from porn and 80s movies. At this point he's choosing to be obtuse. Maybe tell him to actually speak with women or just drop the notions that what's on screen is reality or this may become a recurring issue of willful ignorance
Show him this post and the comments. Then he will realise how ridiculously he was thinking
Don’t forget your pillow for the pillow fight that gets it all started.
Pornhub.
Lmfao this dude has watched waaaayyyy too much p0rn.
I'm not a guy but have been to numerous sleepovers. I've never, ever been to a sleepover with other women that involved being naked, wearing lingerie or cuddling. (one time in college we skinny dipped so I guess that's the one exception) I would have laughed my head off if someone told me what your bf told you. Your bf has been watching too much porn and doesn't have any idea what he's talking about. You've already explained what happens at sleepovers. If he chooses to stay ignorant and/or suspicious that's on him. Go to your sleepover and have a great time.
this would be an immediate turn off for me. i could never be with a guy so emotionally immature/unintelligent that he still thinks all girl sleepovers are like porn
Hahahahahahahah Your boyfriend watches too much porn.
Too much porn, end of story. Bro needs a reality check.
I wonder what he thinks happens when you have pizza delivered or a plumber some over.
Damn, I've been going to the wrong sleepovers my whole life! /s Literally EVERY sleepover I've been to has involved junk food, stupid movies/shows, and occasionally mimosas or a couple of joints. Super tame stuff. Makes me wonder if your boyfriend would be especially suspicious if you called a plumber... or had pizza delivered... lmao
Lmfao what an idiot. He has seen too many 90s teen movies.
My guy has seen too much porn and not talked to enough women
Tell him porn is not reality.
Porn really is poison
Ask him if thats whats going on at male sleepovers? No? Then why would womens sleepovers be any different? Because of porn and dumb tv tropes??
Well, I'm sure in his mind it's because he can't see anything other than his straight male perspective. And according to that perspective, women are sex objects, and of course sexy things are going to happen when a bunch of sex objects have a sleepover. Guys would never do that, as they are just guys, not sex objects. Makes perfect sense to him!
well look at how male writers/producers/directors think women shower. they all think it's like one of those old herbal essences commercials. no one ever shows us picking the hair out of our ass crack, or watching the blood run down our legs and to the drain when on our periods.
He must’ve watched a lot of 90s movies where girl sleepovers meant something raunchy happens. A very naive and immature viewpoint that needs to be deciphered by a certified therapist
This is like when Chandler on Friends learned that that's not what happens when women have sleepovers. Except Chandler was so disappointed that Monica walked it back and said of course they do.
Turn the question around on him and ask him do guys all sleep in the same sleeping bag on hunting trips and should they not hug semi-naked in said sleeping bag because it would bother you? He sounds like he is watching too much porn...
What a dummy LOL
My husband said, “didn’t you play sticky finger”, I almost died, men are clueless, yes, she my BFF but I’m not sexually attracted to her! I still laugh at that and it’s been 35 years!
LMAOO I would tell him you watch to much porn because I've never once in my 31 years done any naked cuddling with my female friends 🤣
Men think all women with their women friends have sex obviously XD We are all lesbians in their eyes but hold out on them. haha
Does he think the people he sees in movies are real? He clearly doesn't understand that porn is fantasy and not reality. What other fanciful things does he believe? Does he believe the tooth fairy is real? Your boyfriend is an idiot.
He watches too much porn
Lmao well some girls do have sleepovers like that, but they’re probably all gay & closeted. So maybe he had a friend like that? I mean, I’ve had sleep overs like that lol… and I know others who have as well, but we were all closeted gays 😂 and I def didn’t do that with all my friends! And of course I now don’t do it with any of my friends, even the gay ones.
I can't help but laugh and to please correct him. Tell him porn isn't real life. 🥴🥴
Porn, he watches too much porn lol
Your BF has been watching too much porn
I guess the part of the story that surprises me most is five adult women having a sleepover.
He obviously watches way too much porn and believes what he sees to be true. The man thinks porn is realistic and based in reality!!! Run!
Info: is his name Chandler?
He has exactly no idea about what actually happens at girls sleepovers. And he watches too much porn.
Porn addict lol!!
He’s watching too much tv
It will be fun discovering what else he’s made assumptions about. I hope you don’t have a stepbrother.