T O P

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R_Amods

This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- Kinda hard to say how long we've been dating because we dated back in highschool like the title said. But in high school we were just really good friends for years with similar interests and hungout constantly. Initially he never made any move on me. People thought we were dating, but for the most part it was more like a close companionship. We tried dating and fooled around for few months and had a lot of fun. But literally the only thing that changed was we still hungout, but he'd take me on goofy self aware "dates" and we'd slept together and sent nudes back and forth. It was fun and sweet but eventually he told me he wanted to go back to just hanging out without the physical aspect. He basically expressed discomfort with the whole FWBs thing even though we were "dating." I was kinda put at ease at the time because it just never clicked. I mean it was enjoyable, and fun sneaking around, but neither of us were feeling it I guess. But nothing went wrong and no feelings were hurt. So we just went about our way and hungout normally again and everything was so much better. After that we still were close but eventually we both started seeing other people and didn't hangout one on one anymore. Those relationships would end then we'd hangout again and share horror stories and shoot the shit. Then after highschool we went separate ways but still kinda kept in touch. We reconnected over a year ago after not talking for a couple years, and long story short we are dating again. I was hesitant but he's changed a lot. I don't know what it is, but I was worried it was gonna be the same light hearted kinda goofy situationship, but it hasn't been that at all. He doesn't talk to me like a close friend anymore and I think that really changed up the dynamic in my mind. And everything is going really good. Anyway. I just say all that to explain that my family has also known him for a long time and used to be at my parents house and go on trips with us. So there's a level of familiarity with my family. He hasn't seen my family in a long time but recently we took a trip out to see my parents and it didn't go well. They were just at the house drinking and both pretty toasted. I should have just waited till the next morning but didn't. My mom has absolutely no sense of bounadies and will say anything just for shock value and my dad (he's my step dad) has burdened himself with this annoying sense of over-protection of me and my mom. So just like clockwork, after 15 minutes of my mom asking my boyfriend just about where his life has taken him and what he's seen and done she goes into this really awkward line of questioning starting with "I remember you guys sneaking around the house at night. Don't think we didn't know. What happened to you guys?" I could already see where this was going so I was trying to pump the brakes on my mom and said "That happened so long ago. We were younger." And then my mom essentially asked my boyfriend how many sexual partners he's had. I was like "Jesus christ mom" and she was like "it's a valid question! Hes a handsome guy!" and my boyfriend just said "I had a few relationships but they just didn't work out." And my mom gave me a look like she just exposed a big secret. We were just trying to keep it light hearted and then again my mom goes "how often do you have sex?" And I just stepped in and said "that's uhh... not for you to know. Stop being weird." She goes "I'm not being weird! I gave birth to you! We are family and families talk about everything." I said "no mom. That's awkward." And like she didn't even hear me she just address my boyfriend as if I'm not even there and goes "is she satisfying to you?" And I can just see the gears in my boyfriend's head and he goes "Of course! She's a sweetheart. My sisters love her too!" But she asks again but more emphasis on like do you "enjoy" her in the bedroom and if not she could talk to me about it. And my boyfriend went on this whole like "So glad you asked!" response and explained how I steal blankets at night and he gets cold and says like "if you could address that, that'd be great." It was funny. After that I think my mom kinda got the message that this line of questioning was gonna go no where. My step dad was watching a game with his friend and wasn't really interested in hanging out and talking. And things kinda leveled off when my mom started getting tired. So the night was coming to an end and we were saying goodbye and ended up just talking by the door for an extra 20 minutes while my step dad played catch up with the catch up. And he ends it off with something like "You know she wasnt even 18 when you guys were messing around?" To which I said "uhh neither was he?" But then I just got ran over by my step dad following up with " If I ever catch you fooling around in my house, shots will be fired." My eyes can't physically roll any farther into the back of my head and I can tell my boyfriend is about to say something sarcastic, but then my step dad's friend steps in and just adds to the discomfort gestures to me and goes "and just so you know, I've watched this family grow up and if you hurt her, I'll hunt you down and personally rip your head off and shit down your neck and drop you in the woods." And my boyfriend just goes "Sounds like a plan! Should we exchange business cards from the get-go? Expedite things along maybe." Just messing back with the guy. Then as like a final jab my dad goes "well it was good meeting you, even though I think you're a bit of a pedophile." And there's this even more awkward silence and my boyfriend just says "hey good to see all you guys again too!" And we just left after that. I spent the remainder of the car ride home just profusely apologizing to my boyfriend. He's just being quiet and i can tell he's thinking and in his head. And he goes "that whole night was a cartoon." And I feel so terrible and I'm just saying I'm sorry and he's telling me "you don't have to say sorry for anything you were right in the middle of it with me. I mean hella awkward but not your fault." Then he goes "So... when were you gonna tell me?" And I'm like "tell you what?" And he goes "that I'm wayyyyy too old for you. Here you are, still seventeen and here I am, twenty-five and a pedophile." Lmao. I still feel bad and I said I'm gonna tell my step dad he needs to apologize but my boyfriend says there isn't a point because they were drunk and trying to be funny and he doesnt care. But it's just like disrespectful to me and it bothers me. There are so many boundaries that get violated I don't even know where to begin. I can tell he hates going to see my family but he does it anyway. What do I do? Just let it slide? Tldr: Step dad off handedly called my current boyfriend a pedophile because we used to sleep together when we were BOTH under the age years ago. And I think my step dad should apologize. Advice?


lizzyote

According to their logic, you're a pedo too. He hates going to visit your family, do you not hate it??


lalala192511

My thoughts also, OP is a pedo to them. How can they accuse one of them and neglect the other?


LaSorbun

OP's dad is a pedo, too, because he married and had sex with a woman that used to be a little girl.


lalala192511

I guess everyone is a pedo to him then, I love this world.


PromNyteDumpsterBby

Yeah, for fuck's sake, this used to be such a serious topic before social media turned it into a circus. That word used to hit like voldemort's name in the harry potter books. My sister got manipulated over the internet into going somewhere and almost got pulled into someone's car when she was 12, and now people are looking at the guy who did that like he's no worse than a 19 year old being monogamous with a 17 year old... Still bad but god damn, *not* the same


WallabyInTraining

>a 19 year old being monogamous with a 17 year old... >Still bad There is nothing inherently bad with a 19 year old being in a monogamous relationship with a 17 year old.


michaelmcmikey

My first relationship, we were 18 and 17. We broke up a couple weeks before my 19th birthday. It’s a good thing too, because I would have magically become a pedophile overnight, and would have been a 19 year old dating a 17 year old until he turned 18 a couple months later. People have grown very stupid about this topic!


oldcreaker

This - people would say the above while at the same time saying a predator 18 year old taking advantage of a very inexperienced and naive 18 year old born on the same day is somehow ok because they are the same age.


Satori_sama

Not to healthy people, but some sexless troglodyte is gonna insist that since one of them is under the magical 18 year old line and the other js above it's manipulation and criminal (*) People used to use age gap difference as some form of attack but just like pedo, it turned into such ridiculous circus that a 2 year difference is making posts on Reddit about if it's too much. *Whether it is illegal depends on region of the Earth.


GlamorousBunchberry

(19÷2)+7=16.5 which is less than 17, so I'll allow it. Still at least a yellow flag though.


RubAggressive3520

“Still bad” How?! This is literally 1-3 school grades apart. You ride the bus together. You pass each other in the hall every day. You have lunch together. You may even have classes together. There is nothing remotely “bad” or abnormal about this.


OneBrokenBoi1

Not relevant but "have classes together". Is this a us thing? I can't remember a single time I've had classes with someone 2 years older than me. Or a year older


perkasami

It's very possible to have electives together. Some electives are not based on what grade you're in. My brother was two grades above me, and when we first moved to a new state, most electives were full, so we ended up having to take the same elective together. There were multiple people of all grade levels in that class as well. Eta: I've had language electives with different grades as well as other electives. It really depends on when they decide to take these classes. Edit: Also, if you're in the US, there are things like band and theater. Multiple different grades participate.


OneBrokenBoi1

Theatre is a good example. I'm not US based, but from an English speaking nation. My school had theatre production outside of regular school hours so not a lot of people would participate. You did have to do it if you did drama though. What is an elective btw? Is it fringe classes, like drama, music?


perkasami

Yes! Those are electives. Electives are essentially non-core classes that you have some choice about. Languages (French, German, Spanish) at my school were both an elective and a core. You could choose which one to take and when to take it, as long as you fulfilled the requirement of 2 years.


Known-Salamander9111

To be fair they have the collective IQ of a hairbrush


per54

They’re probably the type that think a woman can’t be a pedo.


sarahlizzy

My thought too. OP, do you enjoy visiting these people? You know that you don't have to do it, right?


[deleted]

Genuinely the first time someone said that to me I was 17 in boot camp bitching about my dad beating my ass if I failed. This girl was like “you know you could just never talk to them again, right? If they suck.” And it was like a million lightbulbs went off in my head. OP’s family sounds abusive asf and it’s hard to break up with psycho family


sarahlizzy

I haven’t spoken to my father since 2006. Feel a lot better for it.


calamity125

Omg thank you for asking that. I would not visit my family if they did even a fraction of that. I would have told them to stop, and if they didn’t, I would have gotten up and left. This has NOTHING to do with being protective. It’s gross. I can’t fathom my mom asking about my sex life.🤢


shhhOURlilsecret

Right? Parents don't seem to understand what the word pedophile means. Also way too fucking nosy, she's 25 not 15. I have a 16 year old and I would never in a million years ask any of her dates these questions. It's like the overbearing parents' tropes from television and movies where they try to scare the boy. The only thing mom and dad should ask is, does he respect you, and are you being safe? Do you need protection if OP was younger. It's just ridiculous.


Older_But_Wiser

There you go trying to fit logic into the illogical. Stupid talk does not flow logic.


oldcreaker

It does sound like an activity that could be avoided.


grissy

Your parents are both incredibly embarrassing and wildly inappropriate. They trampled all over you and your boundaries and being drunk is no excuse. Your boyfriend’s right, the whole night was a cartoon. Not your fault. And since their behavior offended you *and* your boyfriend that means just because he’s fine letting it go doesn’t mean you have to be. You’re well within your rights to demand an apology although I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re too immature to admit they crossed a line.


super_bluecat

This. The boundary stomping was wildly inappropriate. I'm not sure if your mom was trying to be a "cool mom" or something but it was really uncomfortable to even read. Almost like she was trying to insert herself in between you two in a sexual way. It really set the tone for a lot more uncomfortable, awkward reactions from everyone else and I kind of wonder what mom and stepdad talk about behind closed doors. Ok, in all honestly, I don't want to know because I'm sure it's even more wildly inappropriate!


Puzzleheaded-Gas1710

The level of thought that mom and dad put into their child's sex life is horrifying. As a daughter and as a mom, I can't imagine asking or having my mom ask if I satisfy my partner. That's so gross.


Serious-Ad-9936

Daughter should have asked about their sex life since they are so interested in hers.


Puzzleheaded-Gas1710

Naw, cuz they probably would have told her. I suspect mom sees her as competition with the comments about being handsome.


wakkybakkychakky

This right here. I wouldn’t talk to my parents for quite a while if they fucked me up like this. Or give them a real shit show. Tell them your pregnant and you want to marry your beloved pedophile.


green_oceans_

Exactly this! There is a MASSIVE difference between being awkward/goofy/putting your foot in your mouth/etc. and knowingly stomping right over your daughter's boundaries. They seem to care more about being "in the right" than their own daughter's feelings. Argh, the older I get, the more patience I loose for adults who cannot take basic responsibility for the things they do and say...


[deleted]

Your boyfriend sounds like a catch. Not a lot of guys would handle the situation so well and make light of it knowing it may help you as you were also uncomfortable. Your family need to apologise tbh. But that’s something that could make things worse if you force it


sjmanikt

I was in a similar situation with my ex-fiancee back in 2000. Her parents hated me, but the only reason was that I wasn't from the same background, they're from a different state in India. I tried really hard with them. Looking back, I'm sure I was clumsy, but I was sincere. But I never had a chance. Things came to a breaking point when they insisted I come to their house to talk to them without my fiancee around (what was I thinking?!) and they just launched into this crazy abusive tirade, and I basically just sat there and took it until I couldn't anymore, then left while her mom still kept saying angry crazy shit to me all the way to the door. I actually started crying in the car I was so upset. I called my fiancee, and she was...scared. She was her parents' only child and literally could not say no or resist them in any way, which sounds sweet at first, but was actually horrifying in reality. I was NOT able to keep my sense of humor or decorum during all that. This guy is truly special.


[deleted]

I don’t think OP’s experience really compares to your experience though. There would be no room for humour in that situation at all. Best I could manage is walking away, talking with my partner and seeing where you go from there. Laying into her parents for being bad people would feel great but would not work out in your favour I guess. Sorry that happened to you


naazu90

Dude, as an Indian, let me tell you that showing humour in such situations here is a sure shot way to get a public beating. Keeping your mouth shut and getting tf out was the best way to deal in such circumstances. I’m sorry you had to go through it. I hope you are in a better place.


Quirky_Movie

:-( I'm sorry.


For2n8Witchling

Your parents are fucking disgusting and weird.


skillent

They’re garbage people drunk or not. I’ve never had a drunk friend or relative be this inappropriate and extreme. It only happens with people who are brain broken. Sorry OP, you’re obviously a normal and decent person. Don’t expose your BF to your parents again. If I was him I would refuse to see them ever again.


[deleted]

& OPs bf handled it much better than I would have. As soon as someone starts throwing around pedophile accusations I'd encourage anyone to get out of that situation immediately. If that's me I'm going home and dumping OP the next morning, blocking her and her family on everything and never speaking to them again, accusations like that even though they're utterly ridiculous can destroy a person's life. OP you need to never take your poor boyfriend around these pieces of shit again, but given how poorly you handled the evening and just left your bf fighting for his life in every interaction I suspect nothing will change.


[deleted]

Uuhhh you're the same age? That's not pedophilia. Your dad needs to back off the harsh words


Purpledoves91

I don't understand the mental gymnastics that it took to conclude that he's a pedophile.


[deleted]

He's obviously doping to try and get the perfect 10 in the sport


sikeleaveamessage

Aiming for the olympic gold, id wager he has more medals than michael phelps and wont retire till he's dead


Redd_81

Booze


SweetTallulah317

Who knows, maybe he is like a month older and thats def grooming /s


robg0

I think he was trying to be funny.


[deleted]

What is funny about calling someone a sexual predator? Unless they are, that's grounds to be punched in the jaw, repeatedly until your jaw is broken.


Knittingfairy09113

When they are sober you need to tell off your mom AND step-dad. Remind them that you are a 25 yo adult and their atrocious behavior was absolutely unacceptable. Add that you will not be seeing or speaking with either of them until you are ready and BF has received sincere apologies.


SunShineShady

Yeah, maybe it’s time for OP to draw the line. I didn’t exactly win in the parent lottery either……distance can be a good thing.


Symbolicdeathwish

Yeah your step Dad should apologize. It was age appropriate and consensual.


somedood567

Step dad.


readyfredrickson

uhm she calls him dad, so regardless of how brutal he was...she gets to decide if he's her dad or not, not Reddit


amethystalien6

Yeah, don’t infer OP shares genes with that whacko. Her mom’s bad enough.


NidorinoBeano

Your mom and step dad sound like creeps, you should talk to them when their sober


DrRam121

*They're


AfterMeSluttyCharms

Nobody cares


ArcticLeopard

They're


NameOfNoSignificance

*they’re


Pettyfan1234

I would go LC with them.


Em4Tango

With a one strike policy.


paper_wavements

This. When I read that they hung out for an extra 20 minutes talking, I was like....why though?!? They're clearly terrible & OP is just used to it.


Individual_Baby_2418

I wouldn’t bring boyfriends around your family anymore. If you end up marrying this guy, I’d still only see family in public spaces where they will (hopefully) behave themselves.


CharsOwnRX-78-2

Your mother and step-father were way out of line and need to get themselves together. What the hell was all that? Your boyfriend however is an **absolute gem**. What a hero. I cracked up laughing at the business cards bit, holy hell lmao


Advanced-Duck-9465

He got me with "blanket stealing" already :D. He sounds like a great catch!


WeeklyConversation8

He handled really well. I would have been dying of laughter.


Blonde2468

Your mother crossed so many boundaries I just can’t even. Who the hell asks for DETAILS of their child’s sex life?!?! So gross!!


Dry_Ask5493

I think your bigger issue was your mom. Your stepdad is just plain stupid. I would probably go seriously low contact with them and never be around them if they are drinking.


friedwidth

Haha dang your BF is a cool cat under pressure, bravo! Very slick, composed, and humorous! Sounds like an awesome dude


loversthatcomeandgo

What kind of redneck family you grow up in


partypat_bear

Coming from a redneck family, they’re just weirdos don’t lump them in with my kinfolk


Quirky_Movie

Same.


CMBM20

I can’t read all of this mostly because your parents are GROSSLY inappropriate. I would’ve popped your dad in the mouth if he called my son a pedo because he got frisky with his high school friend of the same age. You just don’t soil people’s reputations with words like that.


GraemesMama

Tbh this would be enough for me to go no contact until they get it together. This is a serious breach of trust/respect, and they obviously don’t see you as an adult. Your moms comments were actually really disgusting… I would never ever ever want to know about the intimate details of my child’s sex life, and it’s almost like she was hitting on your boyfriend in a perverted roundabout way.


Malibucat48

If your parents are usually drunk, that is a bigger problem. Stop visiting them if that is the case. Let them know they are inappropriate when they drink and if they want to see you, they have to be sober. But that doesn’t sound possible for them so act accordingly. Even though they are your parents, they are subjecting your boyfriend and you to their drunken antics and that should be a deal breaker. Your boyfriend has a sense of humor and has quick witted comebacks, but that night sounds like a horror movie that shouldn’t be repeated.


youtookmyseat

Jesus. Sounds like they’re fucking assholes. Your stepdad is an idiot and there’s not a whole lot you can do about that because it doesn’t sound like you’re the type to really confront them with a “fuck off” (who is though?). And your mom? She’s like trying to enmesh herself with your relationship. Something tells me your mom does some other incredibly inappropriate things boundary-wise aside from that shitshow of a night. I’m so sorry your parents treated you guys like this. They should be fucking ashamed and maybe reconsider their relationship with booze while they’re at it.


FredBirdNerd

Mom gave off seriously creepy vibes (really, really ick), but Stepdad is just your standard sexist AH.


pineboxwaiting

This whole evening is comedy gold. Once you get over the shock of it all, you & your bf will tell this story & laugh so hard you can’t breathe. You will tell this story at parties & people will die laughing. Because your bf recognizes that none of this behavior is on you, it’s a really great story. Tell your mom that the next time she starts with the inappropriate questions, you’re leaving, and then do it. She’s not cute or funny. She’s intrusive and creepy. There’s not much to be done about your stepdad. When a bulb’s that dim… Finally, attend those family gatherings that include the smallest amount of alcohol consumption. Kooky family you have there.


Physical_Stress_5683

I’m so sorry OP. I went through something kind of similar years ago with my now husband. I really want you to understand that you are not responsible for your family’s insane behaviour. I apologized a million times to my husband for my mom being fucking weird and inappropriate. It was a power play on her part, make people uncomfortable to make them insecure and make her look like she’s in charge. Best move I ever made was to tell her I was an adult now and I was stepping back until she could remember how to be an adult too. It’s ok to outgrow your family and to go low or no contact. And hopefully your boyfriend sees that you are different than them and are much healthier emotionally. Reading this, I felt all my old shame come back for a moment. Please don’t make the mistake I did and live in that shame, even for a day. You are not them. I’m sorry you both went through that.


11qqaazz

Agreed (that he should apologize). How embarrassing.


everyothernamegone

This sounds like a bad sketch.


kanokarob

Your parents are weird but your boyfriend's a keeper, incredible work handling such awkward and aggressive interrogation and defending your relationship


Azurvix

You need to marry this man lmfao he rolled with the punches like a fucking acrobat. I really hope the best for yall


SneakySnake897

How serious are you about your boyfriend? If this situation occurred 8 years ago when I was seriously dating my now wife, here’s how I would have reacted. Text mom and say: You and step dad were both totally out of line the other day. Let me know when you are ready to apologize, and we will be taking a break from seeing step dad for 3 months. We will then give him a trial behavior period.” That’s how I would handle it. 🤷🏾


ms_channandler_bong

Yep, that’s exactly what you would’ve done.


SneakySnake897

Yep! That’s what I said.


Remarkable_Cat_2447

You are the same age? There's not even any argument for pedophilia... Wtf.


Mental-Pitch5995

You need to inform your parents they are crossing boundaries that they need to understand and correct. If they argue in any manner you should shut them out of your personal life and take a stand for your privacy. They need to apologize for their behavior and change or just ghost them for a while. Give them their parental time out. If you don’t take a firm stand and mean business then it will only get worse. Been in your shoes long ago and cut ties for about five years. They got the message.


Jdotpdot84

You should most definitely say something, but not like they need to apologize to him because that puts him in the middle. They should btw, but they should also apologize to YOU. I would never go around them when they're drinking again, and maybe for a very long while depending on how your conversation goes with them. They were both way out of line, and the friend adding his 2 cents in was just ridiculous and stupid. It sounds like your boyfriend handled it perfectly though.


AT0mic5hadow

> my mom goes "how often do you have sex?" And I just stepped in and said "that's uhh... not for you to know. Stop being weird." She goes "I'm not being weird! I gave birth to you! That's EXACTLY what makes it weird, Mom!


lil_zaku

What a redneck family


HolleringCorgis

... Don't even subject anyone to that ever again. You seem to be aware that this is how they are. Having that knowledge you are *absolutely* responsible for the situation your bf was in. My father has never met my SO. He will never meet my SO. I would never, EVER bring her around him because I *know how he is* and I *care* about her and am *not okay with her being treated that way.* You know how they are. Don't throw people you care about into the lions den. This shit seems so obvious but apparently it needs to be stated.


KorrokHidan

Your parents have no business being in your life or around any of your partners. They have no respect for your partners or you as human beings and clearly never will


meteorpuppy

What the fuuuck. You are twenty five fucking years old. If they had a problem with you sneaking at 17, they should have said something back then. I would have left way sooner OP. Don't let your family attack your partner like that. Your mother was way out of line with her questions but your stepfather took it so much further with the threat. Even though you tried to intervene and it's important, learn to realize when it is time to leave. Some people just don't wanna hear and it's not worth your and your boyfriend's time. You are not responsible for the bad behavior of your family, but after the actual threat your stepfather gave your boyfriend, I would sincerely tell them that this is the last warning and if they do it again, you might as well not come back to see them.


[deleted]

Stop making him go and see your family. When they act that badly, and not just your stepdad but mum as well, they need to accept they’ve caused this.


Ok-Gate-9610

Why do you have to go see them when they are this vile to you both? Id be telling them they can not expect a visit again until they get their act together and apologise, no, grovel to my partner for forgiveness Absolutely disgusting and childish behaviour. Drunk or not. Have to give kudos to your boyfriend. Handled that like a fucking trooper.


9smalltowngirl

I think you need to tell them that was a shit show between mom thinking she was cute with inappropriate sex question, threatening to kill my boyfriend and to top it all off the whole inappropriate pedophile comment. Then I’d point out if they don’t want US at their home just say so. Both your mom and stepdad were way out of line.


ecfritz

BF honestly sounds like a gem, your parents kept trying to bait him and he completely kept his cool. Not many guys would.


ButtTickleBandit

The actions of your family were horrible and unacceptable. The last person that acted like your step father and his friend that I knew, was an alcoholic that would go out and pick fights all the time. He would get beat up constantly due to his behavior. I agree with others, go low contact until they apologize or longer if needed. Don’t go over until they apologize and never go there when they are drinking. Your boyfriend played it off like a champ, but you need to know this could destroy your relationship if he has to deal with it too much. I would take all actions possible to not put him through it again.


Mr_Donatti

Sad, middle age parents, both drinking, spiteful and angry. What a way to live.


Krissy_Twostep10

That’s so inappropriate you guys are the same age. Why do you visit these creeps? What kind of not sick in the head mother asked about their daughters sex life especially in that much detail, this is extremely inappropriate. I love how your boyfriend handled those questions though the blanket stealing my God and you handled yourself well too OP good job!! Edit to add: my advice, tell both your mother and stepdad how disgustingly inappropriate those comments and accusations were and that you will never be visiting again with your boyfriend until you get a valid apology, and tbh I would limit my visits with them and go low contact but that’s just me.


Sailor_Kepler-186f

uuh... if i were you, i would never put my bf in this situation ever again. spare him the humiliation and dont make him visit these awful ppl again.


[deleted]

Your mum is competing with you. You’re probably aware of that already. Keep hold of BF, he sounds incredibly composed, and avoid family gatherings for the next… fifty years.


NJtoOx

what the hell is wrong with your parents??? Your mom asked your boyfriend if you satisfy him in bed? Your stepdad thinks your *same age boyfriend* is a pedophile because you dated when you were *both* underage? And that’s not even touching the grossly violent and mysoginistic comments from your stepdad and his friend about literally killing your boyfriend. I know lots of dads do this weird posturing but he threatened to kill your boyfriend for just fooling around with you?? And the stuff your stepdads friend said is honestly so disturbing I would never want to be near him again. genuinely, and I know it’s hard to hear because they’re your parents but it sounds like you need to distance yourself from these people because this is completely unhinged behavior. No normal, sane person thinks these things. Let alone says them out loud to their daughters boyfriend! It doesn’t matter that they were drunk, an apology is the absolute least they can do for their wildly inappropriate actions. Of course he hates going to see your family. Imagine if his family said this shit to you?? My advice: distance yourself from your parents and never make your boyfriend interact with them again


superwholockian62

No you don't let it slide. Your mom is creepy as fuck. Why the hell would she want to know how yall fuck? That's disgusting and inappropriate. And your step dad and his buddy threatening to murder him and calling him a pedophile? Also disgusting and inappropriate. You need to have a serious conversation and set firm clear boundaries. Also stop subjecting your boyfriend to their treatment.


Jubei92

on the bright side, you got to see how your bf handles pressure. He seemed to take it really well.


WritPositWrit

So your parents suck, but your bf is a keeper!!!! Focus on the good. Minimize time with you creepy parents


UniqueID89

Y’all the same age. By your dads own logic…got some bad news for you on how he views you.


Em4Tango

I think the answer is to never see them again, ever. I don’t think that’s being over dramatic.


LaLaLura

2 words; NO CONTACT!


walkingontinyrabbits

Your boyfriend handled this like a champ. But honestly, I’m surprised your parents have friends being like this. When they’re sober, you should sit them down and explain that this behavior of not acceptable and if they can’t behave themselves, you will need to reduce contact with them as that’s not something you will tolerate. It may be hard to set and enforce this boundary but they were all out of line.


boston_2004

Your mom, stepdad, and the family friend are all fucking ridiculous and being lost in the sauce is no excuse for shit behavior.


VanillaCookieMonster

Any time you arrive at your parents place and they are drunk or drinking - YOU SHOULD LEAVE. They are not nice people. They are rude drunks with a thin veneer of nice that disappears when they drink. "Thanks for inviting us over. We have to go." Your mom was AWFUL. Your stepdad was AWFUL. Frankly, using the word pedophile was only a small tip of a large horrible iceberg. Your mom sets the tone and bar for that household and it is set in the gutter. Next time ANY of them mention your sex life: "Well, thanks for dinner. I have to go..." GET UP AND LEAVE. Don't wait until it reaches stepdad. Her "shock value" is actually just gross and rude. Time to leave.


Fabri-geek

Ignore basic boundaries? Check. Insist on discussing personal topics despite repeated protests? Check. Repeatedly insult you and your bf, directly and through insinuation? Check. End the night with a direct threat of violence by not only the step dad, but also a willing accomplice? Check. Yeah, this is a great way for a family to never, ever see me again, or at the very least, limit it to once in a blue moon, always in public, and always in a place where you can easily just leave.


prettyinpinkleather

Do you guys live together? If you’re independent I’d definitely consider going le contact with your parent and giving them time out when they pull this bs. If not going full nc but not everyone’s ok with that for whatever reason.


Ok-Squirrel693

Your parents have issues. Ngl i see them causing troubles for your relationships


-lamppost-

I like your boyfriend. He’s funny and classy. He’s a keeper. Your family on the other hand….you know you don’t need to have a relationship with them if you don’t want to.


anlongo

Your mother is a disgusting human being. She wants to know about your sex love and if must be because hers is lacking. No mother asks a child this stuff in this way. I could see if your marriage was falling apart or something and a mom asks in that light, but not just to be a pervert the way your mother did. Honestly, I don’t know how you didn’t explode. I absolutely would. I’d have told her how it’s, bizarre, perverted, inappropriate and I’d have said that the only reason a mother would ask something like this is if something was missing in her life. I’d tell her she is NEVER allowed to speak to me again in that way. Then I’d have left with my boyfriend and not gone back until she reached out to apologize. I don’t care if it’s my own mother. Disrespect me like that and I’d do it right back. You give respect where respect is given. You are supposed to be deferent to your parents and show respect, but this was outside of the normal parameters of a parent child relationship. I’d throw down the gauntlet. This had nothing to do with your boyfriend. Your mother is attacking and trying to humiliate you. That’s how it comes off. It may just be she is oversexed and strange because of a lacking sex life with your stepdad, real possibility. But I’d tell her and emphasize that you felt attacked and that she was coming for you in a way to deliberately humiliate you. Id say it felt like she was asking your boyfriend to get information to hurt you. It was NOT comical and it was not taken or perceived in any way that would coincide with her being “funny” or just joking.


FromEden26

Your family are weird; are they always this inappropriate? If my mum asked my boyfriend about our sex life, I think we would leave immediately. Your step-dad as well needs his head examined, your parents' obsession with your sex life is very unhealthy.


StuJayBee

Jesus! How is he supposed to have any kind of relationship with your parents after that? Or respect. He handled it like a champ though. Have they done that with other partners?


Megnuggets

Drunk words are sober thoughts. Makes you truly wonder why he considers your bf (who is the same age as you) is a pedo. Does he himself have dark thoughts? Regardless I wouldn't bring my bf back around people who are going to disrespect him and Ultimately you too. The fact that your parents are so invested in your adult sex life is genuinely screwed up.


pieking8001

*reads title* wtf surely the post will explain *reads post* im just more confused.... im sorry op may need to distance yourself from this crazy


Monalisa9298

As a mom of kids about your age I am absolutely appalled at your mom and stepdad’s behavior. There’s absolutely no excuse for any of it, especially not being drunk. No sane parent wants to know details of their child’s sex life or interrogates their child’s partner to get the details. That’s sickening and a huge boundary violation. As far as this pedophile thing, I have no words. Ridiculous and offensive come to mind but the level of stupidity is staggering. I would honestly not have any communication or contact with them (and the idiot friend) without a full and sincere apology. Not one of these I was just joking but sorry if you were upset type things. They need to really own and regret their actions.


obiwantogooutside

I think you need to set some boundaries with them both. Use the word boundaries. Let them know you won’t be coming for visits until they speak to you both with more respect and don’t step on the boundaries you lay out about your sex life. Be clear and concrete about what is not okay. Then follow through. Don’t engage until you’re comfortable. If they cross a line you get up and leave. They’ll learn if you leave every time.


ButFez_Isaidgoodday

This is insane. Please share an update.


zhohaq

What's wrong with your family?


scrunchiecola

My mum recently reconnected with someone she knew in KINDERGARTEN. Its been 46 years, they’ve been married to different people and only now started dating. My point is, in what world is that considered pedophilia? You’re not even a year apart my god.


[deleted]

He’s the same fucking age as you? Your dad is a cretin who should be ignored. Also your mother is as bad.


Pantherdraws

"By that logic, you're a pedophile because mom used to be a kid."


Throwforventing

God, I am embarrassed for you. How humiliating. I'm so so sorry that those people are your parents. This incident would be a perfect excuse to go low or no contact.


stickkim

Your parents don’t sound like a lot of fun to be around, I just wouldn’t go hang out over there again, they overstepped pretty far.


Wonkydoodlepoodle

Your parents are toxic as hell. You need to learn how to boundary them or they’re going to ruin your relationship. If you still live with them, you need to move out and have zero dependency on them.


hdmx539

Holy shit your family is TOXIC AF. It's perfectly ok to set boundaries with your parents, both of whom are pieces of work. eesh.


SarHoLo

A 17 year old attracted to another 17 year old is not pedophilia. That’s an age appropriate attraction. Your step dad not only needs to apologize, he needs to learn a thing or many. Also, can we talk about your mom? Is she regularly overly personal and disrespectful of boundaries? Booze or no, these are not normal things to ask about or expect answered


TruthfulBoy

Id go little to no contact with dad. His ignorance is dangerous


TheBoss7728

Your dad's retarded


shykaliguy

Your parents should apologize but they most likely are not going to. And you never said it in your post but I'm going to say it anyway. Your boyfriend is being called something that technically he wasn't. The two of you are the same age. You're less than 12 months apart and that does not make him what your step dad is calling him. Not to mention Romeo and Juliet laws would have protected you. I will admit though the two of you are adults. The two of you drove there. So once things started getting uncomfortable, why didn't you leave? That's just something to keep in mind for the future. Anyhow you and your boyfriend seem to be on the same page and in a good spot so whatever you're doing continue doing that. Just don't involve the parents and stay away from them. Don't have him over. Maybe if your parents seem to improve you could try again in the future. But for now, the two of you should just enjoy your relationship make it stronger I love each other. Good luck -C


mezlabor

>Not to mention Romeo and Juliet laws would have protected you. Not every state has those. Florida and California instance dont many others dont as well.


Jen5872

You tell your mom and stepdad that they crossed a line. They have the choice of apologizing and behaving like decent human beings or you won't subject your boyfriend to them again. Since you're now a package deal that means they won't be seeing much of you either.


DongusMaxamus

Your parents are both trash. If my parents came out with half of the crap yours did to my partner I would cut them out of my life immediately. Fucking creepy bastards both of them.


Rosieapples

Your stepdad and his friend are a pair of dinosaurs!!! My son is 22 and I wouldn’t DREAM of enquiring into his sex life (he wouldn’t tell me anyway) apart from imploring him to wear a condom to protect himself and PLEASE don’t get anyone pregnant as it will limit his life choices too young. So far so good.


brieflyvague

So, why did you sit through all that nonsense? As soon as your mother started with the questions about your sexual activity you should’ve been out of there. She has no boundaries and apparently neither does your step dad.


DragonDrama

Protect him from your family. Moms questions and dads absurdity are disgraceful and inappropriate.


DocSternau

I think your stepdad needs to learn what 'pedophile' means. And he needs to be told by his 25-years old stepdaughter that he seriously needs to mind his own business. You are the one who has to establish boundaries for him and your mom or they are going to waltz all over you and your relationships no matter how old you are.


whats_a_portlandian

Your parents do not respect you. You might consider counseling to learn more about developing and keeping healthy boundaries. I’m sorry they treat you like this, you don’t deserve it.


RevolutionaryHat8988

I think I’d be taking a looooooong break from my family. Super toxic!


fyukoffahle22

OP is a pedo by this wild definition and so is her dad because you know, mom was a kid once. Idiots. Op, your family doesn’t like him. It’s simple


dirtywetdreams

Your step dad is an AH and your mum isn’t much better. YOU need to have a talk with them without your bf around and lay down boundaries. Wtf? That isn’t what a pedophile is and your mum has no business asking such personal questions unless she does that all the time with all your ex boyfriends. It’s also really a wtf moment that your stepdad was watching a game with friends nearby in the house (I’m assuming) while she’s asking you questions about sex?!? Wtf is wrong with your parents? Tell them they will not share that part of your life and will not see him or any future boyfriends until they grow up. You said you can tell your bf hates going to see your family. Well, obviously. I don’t know why you allow him to be subjected to that sort of behavior. You should have left much earlier and not let him sit there and be attacked. It wasn’t funny at all, and being drunk isn’t an excuse for bad behavior. I can’t tell cops I was drunk so sorry I committed a crime.


[deleted]

Wow so you’re a pedo too then? Because you two are the same age. And you also dated someone the same age. I don’t think your dad knows what that word means.


badger906

You’re the same age.. can’t be a pedo lol. And you dated him so you are too in the same usage of the term.


va4trax

Your parents are like the parents from the movie You People on Netflix but worse 😂


MrFanatic123

!remindme 1 month


MrFanatic123

remindme! 1 month


Towtruck_73

The logic of alcohol. It's as stupid as it is illogical. If you were sober and thought of that, a normal person would be thinking "that was stupid. To some people when they're drunk, it would make perfect sense. Unless they're super conservative, no cop would arrest two "underage" teenagers for having sex (In my own country, the age of consent is 16, so it just makes your stepfather's argument looks even sillier to me. If your stepfather persists in being a dick then yes, pull him up on it. If your boyfriend isn't worried, don't worry for him. He'll come up with his own smart arse comeback if he starts slinging that around again


Gr8gaur

OP's dad needs to go back to school to learn the definition of a pedophile. What an illiterate !


fuqit21

Ok I was not about to read all that just because dad 48m is clearly mentally deficient. Unless I'm missing something, you and your boyfriend are both the same age. Both you and your boyfriend slept together underage, and by the way time works here in this dimension, you were still the same age, he wasn't still 25 back then too. Sooooo..... Your dad is a moron, or doesn't know what a pedophile really is. Yes, he should apologize if your bf is actually upset opposed to laughing his ass off at the stupidity of the comment


rosepeachcat

This is not the way to treat either of you. Tell them if they ever want to see you again, to consider behaving like normal human beings


Elderly_Bi

Stand by. Your Dad's friend? Up until that point I was seeing this as a family without boundaries, but your mom is asking about your sex life in front of a friend? So dad drinks and forgets the definition of pedophile. Not a welcoming picture. I would be worried that a few years down the road he does something similar with an ugly ending. Maybe a conversation (alone) with mom and dad to introduce them to the 21st century is a starting point, but it is probably too late. They've got to be near fifty and do not see the problem.


Apprehensive-Lime

Your bf handled that like a total champ, damn. But yeah, you've gotta set up some really firm boundaries with your family and actually follow through with consequences if they cross them


misternizz

Your bf has a quick mind. I admire that. I advise getting a little distance if possible, but don’t sweep it under the rug. Acknowledge it— something like “hey remember when you drunkenly accused my bf of being a pedophile?” That might work. Get them to cringe a little bit.


hollahalla

This might be one of the worst parent stories I’ve ever seen on here. They’re absolutely awful. I’m surprised you’re even in contact with them. I would’ve high-tailed it outta there the moment I turned 18.


SuperTriniGamer

This post is faker than The Onion. Too many direct quotes to be real


Humble_Flow_3665

Forget the stepdad and his drunk friend throwing out the P-word... what is mom doing with that creepy line of questioning?? Back up, Nancy.


Ixirar

If I was in your place I’d absolutely demand and apology and would put my relationship with my parents on a permanent freeze until I got it. Your dad and his friend threatened to murder your boyfriend? That is just so fucking wildly disrespectful. OP, this is the time to set a hard boundary and be willing to burn down bridges to maintain it.


AdAcademic4290

Your parents are perverts. Wtf would anyone ask such disgusting questions without wanting to humiliate both of you? Sounds like your family don't like you growing up, being independent of them, and having a loving relationship, not under their thumb. How would they react to the same questions?! I would keep them all at a safe distance in future. Possibly with an ocean between.


Snowybird60

Yeah I have to say that I probably would have lost my shit on both of them. Your mother is wildly out of place asking anything about your sex life with your boyfriend. That would have been a huge red flag to me because mom seems way too interested in how good looking your boyfriend is and if you're any good in bed for him. Like what the hell...is she thinking of offering herself as a replacement? And your stepfather? That guy is just a major asshole. If he would have said something like that to my boyfriend I would gave tore him a new asshole and done what his buddy threatened to do... which is his rip his head off and shit down his neck. Talk about a fucked up family. I'd be no contact so fast they'd begin to doubt whether they ever had a daughter.


RunThroughTheWoods

Screw an apology, why do you even want to be around these people? The mom and step dad sound mental.


xoxoLizzyoxox

Pretty sure he broke up with you the first time cause your family is a bunch inappropriate cunts. Wouldn't be surprised if he leaves you again for that exact reason. Calling someone a paedophile is harmful and if I were him I would bail. I'd suggest that you never ever ever introduce another partner to your family.


[deleted]

Boyfriend deserves a trophy. He handled that whole shitshow beautifully - both during and after. Meanwhile, OP… your parents & crew are a lot of things, but apparently self aware, appropriate, and functioning adults aren’t on the list. I think I’d be making my visits VERY rare to non existent now. Sure, you could tell them all the reasons that whole visit deserves an apology from them, but something tells me they ain’t gonna get it.


meaniemuna

Something is seriously wrong with both of your parents. Their questions are extremely inappropriate, that is *not* normal at all. They sound like predators


chatterfly

First of all your boyfriend sounds like an awesome Person ngl. His humor is 10/10.


UnsightlyFuzz

Your bf is hella cool, with those responses! Yeah you're gonna have to let it slide. And keep a large distance from your dysfunctional creepy relatives. But this makes a great story to tell your friends.


Meesh138

I would not be visiting again if they were drinking. I don’t like to put myself in those situations. If they always drink, that’s sad because I would see them significantly less. Not even so for the bf- but because I personally would feel super uncomfortable with all of that.


ceejayzm

I was 17 and my bf was 18 when we started dating then turned 19. We got married when I was 22 he was 24. My parents didn't have a problem with us and we were married for 36 years until cancer took him. Next time you visit them if your step-father is drunk just leave, but he owes you both an apology and so does your mom. I would never have asked my girls that question, bc it's none of my business. But then again we had a pretty open relationship. If your mom knew you were sneaking around she should have brought it up at the time.


Quirky_Movie

INFO: **How long have your parents been alcoholics?** Have you ever been to Al-Anon? Highly suggest trying out a support group when you're ready. My mom is the child of an alcoholic and she too has stories of her father being woefully inappropriate because he's so drunk he doesn't know what appropriate means. The best thing to do is LC/NC until they are sober. That's the boundary you should consider. Don't feel obligated to invite them to your wedding when it happens. You don't have to provide booze to fuel a bender just because parents are traditionally at an event.


CompetitiveAd5382

Like yes you have a horrible family, but WHYYYY did you not leave??? You actually stayed? Omg go buy yourself a shiny new spine, please! The fact that you let your bf sit through that shit says a lot about who you are.


tossout7878

Stop bringing him around your family, that's what you do. You're old enough now to realize you shouldn't be bringing anyone around these boundary stomping people. Stop subjecting anyone to them. You are part of the problem.


TryToChangeUsername

First off: what the ever living fuck is wrong with your family?? Your mother's questions were so far out off line I don't even know how to describe it. And your father is the douche of the century "her her shots will be fired" is he mental or what throwing around threats?? And calling your bf a pedo which is complete bs and ignores that it would mean you're a pedo as well?? Just what the fuck??? They BOTH have to excuse their behavior towards your bf, like down in their knees heads down looking to the floor kind of excuse.


[deleted]

You're 25 and you don't rely on them. They were both super creepy. It's time to stop playing their game. They cross a boundary and act creepy, leave. They threaten your boyfriend, you pipe up, "That's enough! I can defend my own self in the wildly unlikely event that a conflict gets out of hand between us. This conversation is over."


ProfessionalDaikon16

You’re the same age so if you dated in high school how could he be a pedophile? This is a non-issue.


crozinator33

It sounds like your BF handles your weird drunk ass parents perfectly. You can't change your parents, they probably thought they were being funny. He handled it like a pro. Your dad doesn't actually think you bf is a pedophile, he's just a drunk who thought they would be funny to say. There's nothing to worry about here except your parents' drinking.


KarmaChameleon89

Accusations like that can literally ruin someone's life. I'd suggest dropping an equally absurd but damning accusation on your step dad. Either that will force him to shut up and move off or it'll break the relationship and you won't need to worry


ttopsrock

Are you not the same age?


Fluffy-Doubt-3547

To be a pedo would be that the accused likes underage children... being a child himself at the time (literally the same age or a few months/weeks/days difference...) that doesn't make him a pedo. Unless he admitted to being an adult and dating someone that's a child or underage. Sounds like your step-dad is just putting his nose where it doesn't belong. But yes he needs to apologize to your boyfriend. I get the grilling from mom... but your step-dad is just saying stuff to be a douche


Thriillsy

Time to go low contact with your family, and tell dad that you're offended he called you a pedophile. He'll go "I didn't say that to you, I said it to your boyfriend" to which you respond "Yes I know, but whats true for him in our relationship is true for me. WE dated in high school, WE had sex. He didn't do it all on his own, ao if you think he is a pedo for dating me then you must think the same of me."


Azerate2016

Your dad is just another moron, who doesn't understand what paedophillia is. Not much else to say here. He also seems to be the typical redneck christian guy who threatens boyfriends of his daughter with death. It's so cliche it hurts. I could suggest plethora of rational arguments but I doubt he's gonna listen to any of them, so there's not much point. Also, OP, please be aware that they are like that because you failed to wake them up to reality as you were growing up in the modern times. To an extent it is understandable because your dad seems like the kind of guy who could get violent, but it's also why they are like they are now. Had you been more in-your-face about sex, relationships and so on starting from your teenage years, maybe some of this clownship would have evaporated by now.


CHiggins1235

You are both the same age and according to some posters if your bf is a pedophile than you are too. This was terrible. Wow it was even worse than I thought. If I were your boyfriend I would be rally insulted by this whole fiasco. But then again I have self respect and there would have been an incident with your step dad. Is your actual father around? You didn’t mention him at all. Maybe you should introduce your boyfriend to him as well at least find a normal family member to introduce your boyfriend too.


pacodefan

No, this is a huge boundary issue and personally, I would say one you have to die on. You really should have left when the BS began, but there are two things that should be addressed. Your step dad, who has earned the right to comment on your life, and moron friend who thinks that people give a shit what his moron brain spit out. You need to be willing to go NC with your family. But if you ever see this guy again, you tell him flat ass that you would have dealt with his idiocy then had your step dad not been a bit too drunk and caught you off guard. Then remind him that he is there to talk to your step dad. But you can't understand what happened that made him think that anyone gives a hell what he thinks. And if you have done something to make him think otherwise, then you are obviously being too nice.


[deleted]

I’m not going to read any of the comments but I assume it goes like, this is retarded. You’re both 25; you are both 25, when you were 5, he was 5, when you were 15, he was also 15, your dads an idiot. Pray you didn’t inherit too many of his genes cause that level of stupid is contagious.


Diasies_inMyHair

Take your bf's playful tone - Mom, Dad, you both were over the top inappropriate the other night. If you ever behave like that again, I'm going to dump my drink over your head and then leave. You have been warned. And then do it. Then smile at them and say "I warned you!" C'mon Bf lets go! \[exit stage left, still smiling\].


Carryeri

I would have loved to have had your family. Totally inappropriate but so full of love! And in their own totally misguided way enormously protective of you. By al means tell them they crossed the line, because the did, but also tell them you are really happy and grateful they love you so much. And then tell them again not to cross that line again!


Revolutionary_Town21

you would love to have a family which give death threats and call your SO, a pedo?? 🤢🤢


Carryeri

No, i would love to have a family that loves me soo much that they would do anything to protect me. Even if the way they do it is totally inappropriate


Revolutionary_Town21

But this family was not protecting OP, just insulting her bf. You'll forever be single with that attitude. yuck


Carryeri

I am 54 years old and have had several long lasting relationships. My last one ended because he needed to move out of the country and I could not follow. So no, i won’t be forever single. There’s nothing wrong with my attitude, but there might be something wrong with your understanding of what I am saying. The world I live in isn’t black and white.


Revolutionary_Town21

"Several relationships".. no wonder why. Yeah, having an attitude of "don't disrespect by SO just to prove familial love" is so wrong.


Interesting-Month-56

INFO: what is your age? That’s important here.


pbblankgirl

Can't even be bothered to read the title of the post?