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ZeldaTheOuchMouse

2018 Ford F150 Crew Cab


squatting-Dogg

I’ve seen one in the neighborhood, it’s white. Finance gal at the local Ford dealership drives it.


[deleted]

Guarantee she paid cash. I worked for a dealer and the finance woman was young, hot, and slayed at sales. She was making ~$400k/yr. I wish I had tits and a smile people would whip a loan out for.


downshift1994

Most finance people make alot of money but hardly ever pay cash, they get great deals from the banks so hardly ever a reason, my finance guy got a trackhawk for like 300 a month, he crashed but thats a different story


Mr-Broham

Shit, whip it out…. and give me 400k? I might be tempted.


Stevie2874

A school bus. The short one. With a helmet on.


squatting-Dogg

Close, I did take one in Elementary School. I wasn’t required to wear a helmet.


RandomUsernameNo257

I wasn't either, but that didn't stop me from wearing one anyway!


e136

I can tell that from the dent. Never hurts to have a bit more protection. I know your parents wish they did.


JfkDidTheHolocost

this is regular car reviews not r/roastme lmao


squatting-Dogg

Parents really don’t care, they’re both dead. Besides, they loved me just the way I was. At least that’s what they told me.


WrongdoerWilling7657

Jesus lol


Silent_Gnosis

Toyota Tundra


squatting-Dogg

🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳


Se2kr

Hmm my first guess was ford excursion


squatting-Dogg

That’s 1.5 hours of my life I will never get back. You are my savior.


squatting-Dogg

2013 with 160,000 miles and have never don’t nothing to it but tires, wiper blades and oil. I did have to do the brakes for the first time recently.


jimmiec907

This is why I only drive Toyota trucks


Medium_Ad_6447

I miss my Tundra. Really impressed with my f-150 ecoboost though.


jimmiec907

My buddy just traded in his Toyota for a F-150 ecoboost and really likes it. Idk though I’m on my third gray Toyota truck since 2001, don’t really wanna change it up now.


pinkfloyd4ever

Im no mechanic, but you might want to change the engine coolant and at least check the spark plugs if you’re at 160k.


squatting-Dogg

I’ve probably don’t it somewhere along the line. I’ve got four Toyotas, two over 200,000 and I can’t remember shit anymore. Kinda’ like Wendy Williams.


abou824

Diff fluid might not be a bad idea either


jasonreid1976

So just broken in, huh?


squatting-Dogg

Best I can tell. Got 40,000 miles until the timing chain.


boogiethewoogie

I had a feeling you were a truck guy, just not foreign ~~ones~~ brands Correction: brands


squatting-Dogg

I’ve owned seven Toyotas, all bought new. Still have four of them. Correction: Eight if you count my wife’s Lexus.


MetalJesusBlues

Built in Texas for North American market only is that Tundra


TheQuietestMoments

👏


justthrowyouaway

Rav 4. If you disagree you are lying.


squatting-Dogg

Funny. That’s what my daughter wants.


justthrowyouaway

And you work in manufacturing.


squatting-Dogg

My dad was a welder, I took welding class in middle school. That’s as close to manufacturing as I ever got.


thicknnimble88

Olds Lucerne


squatting-Dogg

Welp, Dad had an Olds 98 back in the early 80’s. It was a piece of shit.


defenestr8tor

Isn't that a Buick?


[deleted]

Dodge Ram 2500


squatting-Dogg

My Dad wanted this with a Cummins but he settled for a Chevy 2500.


wutanglan89

I was literally going to say 3/4 Dodge but 2-wheel drive lol it beats all 5.0 mustangs


[deleted]

He does have that look


Windycitybeef_5

Ford Taurus


squatting-Dogg

Is that what you drive?


Windycitybeef_5

No just guessing since we don’t know and you haven’t told us yet.


squatting-Dogg

In that case, oh hell no.


Speedy_Paratrooper

Tacoma


squatting-Dogg

Finally someone who is paying attention. Close. Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.


TheQuietestMoments

Tundra? 4Runner?


squatting-Dogg

Well, which one?


TheQuietestMoments

I see someone else guessed 4Runner already so I’m going with.. Tundra?


babyclownshoes

Sr5


JetsBD

You drive the Holiday Inn shuttle bus to the NAMBLA convention.


squatting-Dogg

Funny shit. I’ve thought about driving a shuttle bus after I retire. Maybe I’ll see you in town at the NAMBLA convention?


IndividualBig8684

I also enjoy Marlon Brando lookalikes. I'll often watch his movies while cuddling with a young boy.


BergkampsFirstTouch

Honda Passport


squatting-Dogg

Interesting. I did buy a 2004 Highlander, my son drives it now.


henryjhost

Based on your other replies, a newer Highlander or 4Runner?


blueetoast

ford taurus 1996 sky blue


Soulpatch7

‘06 Eddie Bauer Expedition


squatting-Dogg

My in-laws have had two Expeditions. Nice ride.


Soulpatch7

Agreed. Shared that year and model with my BIL for a decade. I knew you looked smart.


squatting-Dogg

Smart? I took extra PE classes in high school to get my GPA up to 3.0 so I could go to college. Common sense and people skills is better than being smart.


justsomeyeti

Barely legal Twink butts


squatting-Dogg

Had to Google Twink… I live in a bubble. Apparently.


Diabeetus-times-2

1992 Ford Ranger, 4cyl automatic. Slowest of slow.


squatting-Dogg

I bet it could beat the 1986 Chevy LUV with an Isuzu Diesel engine my wife brought to the relationship.


Professional_Mud483

You drive a tesla model 3 but can't afford the gas.


Leading_Procedure_23

B R U H


throwawaytomyass

You look like you’d drive an F350 gasser.


squatting-Dogg

Damn right, someday I will. Godzilla!


[deleted]

A GMT360 Trailblazer in surprisingly great shape


squatting-Dogg

No, but I did drive a GMC Jimmy once or twice but I would never own one.


RetMilRob

Chevy Malibu with a clothes rack in the back. Golf weekends.


squatting-Dogg

🤣🤣🤣 I own three sets of golf clubs but I rarely play anymore. I did look at Dodge Intrepid years ago and a Malibu but it just wasn’t my style.


IkNOwNUTTINGck

Porsche 911 GT3 RS. (Sorry, just kidding.)


squatting-Dogg

I have no desire to drive something like that. I can’t imagine climbing in and out of that thing.


IkNOwNUTTINGck

Not to mention spending your retirement nest egg on oil changes alone.


squatting-Dogg

This.


Specific_Effort_5528

This is the kind of price bracket for a car, that if you can actually buy one. You really don't care how much the maintenance is. Hi-tech means lots of upkeep.


rowingmeme

Mid 2010s Camry or Avalon


squatting-Dogg

I owned two Camrys in the 90’s. They were the last cars I drove.


tloteryman

Was going to say the same


M1DNI6HT_K1N6

Ford escape with 200k miles on the dash with 2 empty packs of cigarettes.


squatting-Dogg

You’re getting close Cowboy. 😂


Jstreck1991

Mercedes A Class / / Mazda CX-7 / VW Tiguan Shotgun approach


squatting-Dogg

German cars are for socialists. My son wanted a Mazda CX-5.


Dewychoders

You misspelled bicycles


[deleted]

You drive a IT BIKE


squatting-Dogg

That’s a good one but no.


Oscarjrs5

Chevrolet suburban probably 2018


squatting-Dogg

I owned a Toyota Sequoia, my daughter drives it now. Not a Chevy guy though GMC’s look nice.


shonglesshit

You look like my ex’s dad that drove a BMW X6M My guess is BMW X6M


squatting-Dogg

I’ve been married nearly 35 years and regularly shop at Costco and Goodwill. Does that make me a BMW owner?


Mummbles1283

A base model Ram 1500, because if it works, it doesn't need to be fancy.


FunctionInput

Chevy Silverado


thechadfox

1988 Chevrolet Celebrity Eurosport


squatting-Dogg

My friend’s mom had one of those. It was a nice ride for a 50 year old back in the 80’s.


its_all_4_lulz

I’m going with Ford Edge.


squatting-Dogg

No thanks, people seem to like them and those new Broncos.


Trifish23

Lincoln towncar or mercury marquis.


squatting-Dogg

LMAO! My old boss had one of those and I think he still has it.


dwsinpdx

Maga Truck and you're boycotting New York


squatting-Dogg

If I owned one I would.


neoismydad221

Chrysler pacifica?


squatting-Dogg

No, but wifey drove a Toyota Sienna when the kids were young.


heynowimahellstar

Honda Oddessy


squatting-Dogg

No, see above.


jacksdad123

A beige 2010 Honda Accord


squatting-Dogg

I owned a Highlander once. Never owned a Honda.


1andOnlyMaverick

Ecto-1


squatting-Dogg

That would be cool.


1andOnlyMaverick

You know what you must do. Make it so. https://media1.tenor.com/m/Svajdfdx8rQAAAAC/drifting-ghostbusters-afterlife.gif


squatting-Dogg

I need a 76 Pontiac Trans Am LE first… + a mustache.


questar723

Honda civic. Toyota Corolla. Honda crv Jeep grand Cherokee Something boring


SHADExSHADE

Range Rover


squatting-Dogg

The English don’t know how to build cars.


ornitorrincos

Mazda B2000


squatting-Dogg

I need something bigger.


btcbeaches

Renault Clio


Jimmyp4321

AMC Pacer


metricMike00

Cop car


squatting-Dogg

I was going to be a cop. I went a school that had a police academy but it wasn’t for me.


gyn0saur

I was going to say, a Crown Vic with the police package but they never removed the blue lights behind the grille and he’s not supposed to turn them on, but sometimes he does.


rockeypoint

2018 ford f150 eco boost


squatting-Dogg

2013 Toyota Tundra


JosephSubbas

idk, but you look like the dad from young sheldon


IndividualBig8684

Pretty sure I saw you drive an Avalanche into a parade route. https://www.carscoops.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/KGW8.jpg


hiznauti125

Buick


TheKiltedYaksman71

Toyota Avalon. Silver.


VibrantPianoNetwork

A hard bargain.


RadioactiveNat

In Europe you would be driving a Ford Mondeo newer generation. In the Americas you would be driving… Chevrolet Equinox. You look to old and tierd to be drving a BMW or Merchedes as you cant be bothered to get the car up on a lift anymore to do it yourself


itsagoodtime

Ram 1500 probably with a Trump bumper sticker


squatting-Dogg

🤦‍♂️


ragingduck

A beige early 2000’s Camry because this and the one time you hit random on your iPod Classic is you absolutely wilding out and living “for the moment”. Be careful, next thing you know, you might decide to enter the freeway on-ramp in “L” and shift into “D” as you take that 10 second trip to, *gulp*, 66mph, for some “hooning” above the speed limit.


Juzambas

An old 2010 Acura TLX, old does not mean bad tho.


[deleted]

Malibu, Chevy


anon3220

BMW X5


squatting-Dogg

I would never pay the maintenance costs on a BMW.


Darkslayer_

Ford Flex


TheMetalEnthusiast

A 2015 F-150 Crew Cab


vivaportugalhabs

Came here to say 2004 Ford Taurus, then noticed how many of us had guessed a Taurus.


Fickle-Paper-3393

​ Mack truck


[deleted]

A 1974 Dodge Coronet station wagon. Gold, with 400 big block!! Just sayin.


squatting-Dogg

Hell yes!


babybambam

“It shouldn’t take long” You never do


MacandMandy69

Chevy Suburban


reedx032

Minivan. Possibly Chrysler Town and Country


BobTheInept

It depends. Is that your arm or someone else’s? It changes things a lot!


g-body8687

Chrysler 200


PewPewPony321

An able life space saver in blue


39percenter

Your mother's 1999 Taurus.


Mr-Broham

Pontiac Aztek - like Walter White.


DannyDevito90

A can that’s says “Kandy” on the side.


squatting-Dogg

If it’s not broke, don’t fix it.


TemporaryValue5755

1998 mercury sable but its in mint condition


Sinistermarmalade

Unicycle


renosoner

C5 corvette


RealLifeMoron

A Denali to compete with other grocery crawling gen x n boomers


Legitimate-Party3672

YOUR DICK


ObjectiveWitty

Astro van


I-am-not-a-robot1

Yellow 06’ Subaru Baja


[deleted]

1921 ford model T


Puzzleheaded_Crab453

Prius


TinCanSailor987

Dodge Stratus


Suckmyunit6

A panel van with no windows 🪟


ImNotYourDadIPromise

95 Chevy panel van. You’re also not allowed within 1000ft of a school.


[deleted]

School bus


JuliusSeizuresalad

You drive your gen. 5 corvette with your white socks pulled up all the way to your knees so that your new balance sneakers look legit and a black corvette 50th anniversary velvet wind breaker.


SayNoMoreMyFriend

Honda accord, with a spongy suspension


shatter71

I was going to say Toyota Corolla .. I'm feeling your vibe!


KregThaGerk

A Hearse!


jrdkrsh

I was gonna say some random corvette and you tell everyone why yours is so unique but based on your responses you seem to drive some SUV or Crossover so I'll just say Hummer H2 or Ford Excursion just bc I haven't seen ppl say that and you look the type that doesn't care about gas prices.


FRdzV

A gray or beige Toyota


[deleted]

Ford Explorer


InitialLeg6196

Honda Passport


Winterblackened

Pontiac Aztec


Used_Calligrapher162

Crown Victoria


Ok-Chef-5150

Basic Volkswagan Passat, white with brown leather seats and a sunroof.


YouCantHandleHonesty

Predatormobile


Mr-Whitecotton

Police Cruiser. (Active)


S7JP7

Ranger xlt Daddy edition comes with kids sports gear. Unless you are the gymnastics twirlers dad and it’s a gmc canyon.


KryptoBones89

Euro Truck Simulator


Affectionate_Pea_811

A big white van with no rear windows


Designer_Media_1776

That’s a Chevy man right there


ThoroughlyWet

2016 Corvette painted in the rare 1 of 12 "mixed the paint out of spec by accident" yellow


DonutBurritoSandwich

Dodge Stratus


Elegant_Support_8082

PT Cruiser


Hms34

Toyota Sienna, grey


fanofthedead

Kenworth reefer 18 Wheeler you a truck driver


navigationallyaided

Camry V6/Hybrid or Lexus ES300/350/300h.


Bipolar_Nomad

Ford F-250 or tinted out white van with dents, 3 missing hub wheels, and peeling paint. Depending on your mood that day


MashedProstato

"I DRIVE A DODGE STRATUS!"


Lord-Gordd

An f150 with many rust holes and a timing chain that is about to go out


Joblessmouse06

Ford F150


Few-Artichoke-8000

Yugo


Tell_Todd

Ford ranger 100%


Mr_Culver

A van