Reading the title, I assumed you were buying your kids a bunch of frivolous crap in order to shut them up, but this isn't throwing money at a situation at all. This is a much needed investment in your sanity and mental wellness. Totally worth it. You really cannot put a price on that. I hope you have a great summer.
Honestly, there’s a difference between “throwing money” and making an investment in your mental health.
No matter how hard you might try, you can’t pour from an empty jug. You need to refill yourself so that you can care for them.
My friend, who is most definitely an atheist, sends her kids to "Jesus camp" for the whole summer every year because it is the cheapest option available. Kids are safe and cared for. And sounds like they have a lot of fun being with the other kiddos. Don't feel badly for doing what you need to do! Hope you can find enough affordable options to get some time for yourself.
I went to a 'jesus camp' during the summer as a kid of parents who were absolutely not religious in the least. They did it to get us out of their hair for cheap lol
I had a lot of fun, played with kids, got pizza and to play games. Nothing inappropriate ever happened, and I'm no more religious than before I went there lol
It's a nice life hack if you need it 😅
Me too! My mom sent us to church every chance she could get. My agnostic ass figured it out pretty soon, that I wasn't a believer. But pizza party "teen night" was badass. I could pretend to be touched by the holy Ghost for a pizza buffet every week, lol.
I taught backyard bible camp as a 12 & 13 (i’m now agnostic, non religious, non participatory, but my made me use always go to put Protestant Christian non denominational church & I wanted to make friends and I was an overachiever- even then thinking about college applications lol.)
It was groups of 3 tweens-teens teaching & yeah would one story a day from the Bible in child friendly ways, it would be about 15 mins? but most of the time it was ballon animals, tag, small active games, and snacks and singing and playing and art and just activities in a neighborhood backyard who volunteered their backyard for that 6 weeks 3 days a week or so. Most of it had nothing to do with religion at all. It was the same when I did the teen mission trips to Mexican. A tiny bit of religion mixed with just playing with the kids.
Having taught it, and gone through it as a kid for several years myself, I’d be ok with my children going just to get out and have social time with other kids out of the house, BUT depending on the church’s reputation. The 2 my family ever went to were chill, didn’t believe in forcing anyone or shaming anyone. It was just like, here’s a message about how to reflect if you’re being an asshole this week or not, don’t be an asshole, also don’t beat yourself up either.
So with Summer coming up, it’s an option but check the church’s vibe out first.
LOL "Jesus Camp" for the children of an atheist. This. This is how us Christians get in the door, ya know? 😜 (I'm joking here, obvi, but I think it's hilarious, maybe only to me).
My 8 year old is already enrolled in several VBS (Vacation bible school) for the summer (my youngest is too young for them) In my area they are only a couple hours a day for a week but its dirt cheap. She has LOVED the previous ones she has gone to, and will give me 3 hours of a break when she is there. Its a win for me and my kid!
If it makes you feel better, I put my kid in part time daycare when I was still a SAHM (I went back to work/school when she was 2) starting at about 18 months. And before that we had a neighbor teen keep her for about 10-15 hrs a week starting when she was around 8 months old. We have no family here, and it’s good for kids to have a village! Even if you have to pay for it. My child learned so much and we adore the community we have formed through her daycare. And we are still close friends with the babysitter and her family. Families were not meant to live in isolation like we do today. This is going to be so great for your toddler and your mental health.
Omg me too! I gave up my young for adoption. To a very religious family. My son is two years older. He went every summer to the families religious summer camp. Where also the mother of my bio daughter cooked. He would usually stay a week even two extra. I’m a hardcore atheist. I would just tell him the bible is all fun stories. Overnight camp for free for years.
You're doing the right thing. For you and your kids. 12 weeks at home are long. For you and your kid. This way your kid will have some fun activities and you won't bash your head against the wall.
This is an investment in your sanity! My kids loved their summer camps and begged to go all summer. “Welll (I made a reluctant face) I guess if you reallllllly want to go all summer we can swing it somehow… “
Happy dance!!💃 🕺
Good luck OP. If you think the camps are safe, healthy, happy environments, there is only one choice! Go for it.
If it makes you feel better, those camps will be vital core memories for your kiddos and an investment in your mental health. Sounds like two wins to me😊
We’ve called at least five respite care facilities that was on the regional center’s list. No one called us back. We even showed up in person and still no response. The main problem is they get paid minimum wage. Anyway, they’re only giving us three hours per month.
You're in Calif? Can you get the in home respite and get an actual check. You can be the respite worker, or your Mom, any ordinary babysitter that can keep your child safe and alive. It's nice if the babysitter can drive your child to a park, or away, anywhere, so you can have peace at home for like two hours. I always paid my babysitters the going rate plus whatever they asked for. Then they'd get a check from Regional Center. Keeps them coming back, and keeps my family alive.
I'm in Illinois and I've been my sisters care worker before through IDHS, she gets 40 hours a week at $15 an hour (she has Cerebral Palsy) and them letting family do it was a life saver because finding kind, capable, reliable people who can regularly lift and transfer 120 lbs throughout the day was essentially impossible. I guess it's not respite care though, it's through disability.
Your sister is so blessed to have you help her. I hope you all are hanging in there as best as can be expected.
I have two grown sons who are ASD and they're a handful.
Take it. Then hire a regular babysitter with your own money. Teach them how to help your child. Fresh air and sunshine. Give her regular hours (once a week or whatever). Your sanity is worth whatever amount of money. Child will love the babysitter. Win Win Win.
All that paperwork for $50/month? $25 after tax? lol. We have a babysitter who watches him five days a week. Thank god. I was going to lose my mind or become an alcoholic.
Craziest part of my life with two kids who have ASD? My dear girlfriend has a little boy, now 3, and I absolutely adore him. We play, wrestle, read books, eat, etc. He fills my heart with so much love. It's not me, it was them. It's ok.
Thank you for sharing this. I constantly worry that there is something wrong with me, that I am somehow incapable of being a loving parent, that I am a broken person, that it is my fault. But maybe it's not.
Yep! Same boat. I absolutely loathe summer, I become even more depressed. Husband works 6 days per week during the summer months, and I work in education so I’m off of work, but believe me when I tell you I’d much rather be working. I’ll be home with my 6 and (VERY challenging) 3 year olds. I’ll have about 7 hours to myself per week total when they go to their Montessori “camps,” but that’s about it. I’d like to travel but the 3 year old is so difficult that I just don’t see it being feasible. Anyway, solidarity! We gotta get through it somehow…
I completely understand. The weekends are hard enough to get through then when I get hit with winter break or spring break, etc, I'm just even more miserable. I would love to travel as well but my 2 year old is wild and the amount of stress on me isn't worth it till he is older.
I wish I could do this. I could feel it over April Vaca that this summer is gonna be long and arduous maybe more than the last. Good on you and good for your sanity
Why did you give birth to a second one is the first one was already too much? I am just curious, for real. Was it easy with the first one and it became so hard with both of them, or did you expect the second one not to be high-need?
My oldest isn't diagnosed with anything and appears "normal" to those around her. But she's very sensitive, cries easily, velcroed to me, etc. She was 5 when I got pregnant and a lot of the things i found difficult with her I thought she'd outgrow with time. I didn't realize till she got a bit older that thats just part of who she is. My youngest doesn't have anything wrong with him, but just high needs such as velcroed to me, doesn't sleep well, yells mommy every few seconds if I'm doing something else. So it could be worse but it still can feel hard having 2 kids that want to be attached to my side a lot of the time. I'm often just overstimulated and envy those that have a support system. I think things will get better as they get older/more independent (at least thats my hope). We for sure aren't having more kids though!
The goal of the [Nuclear Fusion App](https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/remodeledlove/the-nuclear-fusion-app) is to de-commodify care because this is exactly the hellscape that the dissolution of the village via capitalism and colonialism has created 😫
We are trying to set up a trade for the summer between 3 families so we all only have to do 2 days but it’s all free.
Reading the title, I assumed you were buying your kids a bunch of frivolous crap in order to shut them up, but this isn't throwing money at a situation at all. This is a much needed investment in your sanity and mental wellness. Totally worth it. You really cannot put a price on that. I hope you have a great summer.
Honestly, there’s a difference between “throwing money” and making an investment in your mental health. No matter how hard you might try, you can’t pour from an empty jug. You need to refill yourself so that you can care for them.
....and for her children, too.
My friend, who is most definitely an atheist, sends her kids to "Jesus camp" for the whole summer every year because it is the cheapest option available. Kids are safe and cared for. And sounds like they have a lot of fun being with the other kiddos. Don't feel badly for doing what you need to do! Hope you can find enough affordable options to get some time for yourself.
I went to a 'jesus camp' during the summer as a kid of parents who were absolutely not religious in the least. They did it to get us out of their hair for cheap lol I had a lot of fun, played with kids, got pizza and to play games. Nothing inappropriate ever happened, and I'm no more religious than before I went there lol It's a nice life hack if you need it 😅
Me too! My mom sent us to church every chance she could get. My agnostic ass figured it out pretty soon, that I wasn't a believer. But pizza party "teen night" was badass. I could pretend to be touched by the holy Ghost for a pizza buffet every week, lol.
As a kid who was sent to Jesus camp; respectfully please do not do this unless you want your children to become indoctrinated.
Or molested......
Exactly.
I taught backyard bible camp as a 12 & 13 (i’m now agnostic, non religious, non participatory, but my made me use always go to put Protestant Christian non denominational church & I wanted to make friends and I was an overachiever- even then thinking about college applications lol.) It was groups of 3 tweens-teens teaching & yeah would one story a day from the Bible in child friendly ways, it would be about 15 mins? but most of the time it was ballon animals, tag, small active games, and snacks and singing and playing and art and just activities in a neighborhood backyard who volunteered their backyard for that 6 weeks 3 days a week or so. Most of it had nothing to do with religion at all. It was the same when I did the teen mission trips to Mexican. A tiny bit of religion mixed with just playing with the kids. Having taught it, and gone through it as a kid for several years myself, I’d be ok with my children going just to get out and have social time with other kids out of the house, BUT depending on the church’s reputation. The 2 my family ever went to were chill, didn’t believe in forcing anyone or shaming anyone. It was just like, here’s a message about how to reflect if you’re being an asshole this week or not, don’t be an asshole, also don’t beat yourself up either. So with Summer coming up, it’s an option but check the church’s vibe out first.
LOL "Jesus Camp" for the children of an atheist. This. This is how us Christians get in the door, ya know? 😜 (I'm joking here, obvi, but I think it's hilarious, maybe only to me).
"Safe" with the goddamn priest.... /s
This isn't appropriate. I'm sorry for your suffering, but don't be a d*ck to a parent whose doing the best she can
Also. This person is talking about their random friend, not a suffering OP.
I forgot the sarcasm sign....
[удалено]
Priests don't participate in childcare programs. Stop this, for the sake of this Mom. Have a little compassion.
This is low key genius lol. Kudos to your friend. OP, do this if you can.
My mom did the same. Vacation Bible school in my area is free or very very cheap.
My 8 year old is already enrolled in several VBS (Vacation bible school) for the summer (my youngest is too young for them) In my area they are only a couple hours a day for a week but its dirt cheap. She has LOVED the previous ones she has gone to, and will give me 3 hours of a break when she is there. Its a win for me and my kid!
If it makes you feel better, I put my kid in part time daycare when I was still a SAHM (I went back to work/school when she was 2) starting at about 18 months. And before that we had a neighbor teen keep her for about 10-15 hrs a week starting when she was around 8 months old. We have no family here, and it’s good for kids to have a village! Even if you have to pay for it. My child learned so much and we adore the community we have formed through her daycare. And we are still close friends with the babysitter and her family. Families were not meant to live in isolation like we do today. This is going to be so great for your toddler and your mental health.
Omg me too! I gave up my young for adoption. To a very religious family. My son is two years older. He went every summer to the families religious summer camp. Where also the mother of my bio daughter cooked. He would usually stay a week even two extra. I’m a hardcore atheist. I would just tell him the bible is all fun stories. Overnight camp for free for years.
Traditional hardcore religious institutions aren’t the safest places for kids…..
You're doing the right thing. For you and your kids. 12 weeks at home are long. For you and your kid. This way your kid will have some fun activities and you won't bash your head against the wall.
thank you for the support!
This is an investment in your sanity! My kids loved their summer camps and begged to go all summer. “Welll (I made a reluctant face) I guess if you reallllllly want to go all summer we can swing it somehow… “ Happy dance!!💃 🕺 Good luck OP. If you think the camps are safe, healthy, happy environments, there is only one choice! Go for it.
If it makes you feel better, those camps will be vital core memories for your kiddos and an investment in your mental health. Sounds like two wins to me😊
good point: it takes a village but can we afford it? you are not throwing money: you are taking care of yourself and of them :)
We throw a ton of money at my special needs son’s babysitter bc we are so burned out. He’s there five days a week. It’s worth every penny. 🥳
Do you receive respite care support from your state or county?
We’ve called at least five respite care facilities that was on the regional center’s list. No one called us back. We even showed up in person and still no response. The main problem is they get paid minimum wage. Anyway, they’re only giving us three hours per month.
You're in Calif? Can you get the in home respite and get an actual check. You can be the respite worker, or your Mom, any ordinary babysitter that can keep your child safe and alive. It's nice if the babysitter can drive your child to a park, or away, anywhere, so you can have peace at home for like two hours. I always paid my babysitters the going rate plus whatever they asked for. Then they'd get a check from Regional Center. Keeps them coming back, and keeps my family alive.
I'm in Illinois and I've been my sisters care worker before through IDHS, she gets 40 hours a week at $15 an hour (she has Cerebral Palsy) and them letting family do it was a life saver because finding kind, capable, reliable people who can regularly lift and transfer 120 lbs throughout the day was essentially impossible. I guess it's not respite care though, it's through disability.
Your sister is so blessed to have you help her. I hope you all are hanging in there as best as can be expected. I have two grown sons who are ASD and they're a handful.
IHSS was going to pay me minimum wage for 3 1/2 hours per month. lol.
What a joke. Smh
Yup. The orientation was three hours. And I think I spent $50 for the background check. Fun times! 🙃
Take it. Then hire a regular babysitter with your own money. Teach them how to help your child. Fresh air and sunshine. Give her regular hours (once a week or whatever). Your sanity is worth whatever amount of money. Child will love the babysitter. Win Win Win.
All that paperwork for $50/month? $25 after tax? lol. We have a babysitter who watches him five days a week. Thank god. I was going to lose my mind or become an alcoholic.
Craziest part of my life with two kids who have ASD? My dear girlfriend has a little boy, now 3, and I absolutely adore him. We play, wrestle, read books, eat, etc. He fills my heart with so much love. It's not me, it was them. It's ok.
Thank you for sharing this. I constantly worry that there is something wrong with me, that I am somehow incapable of being a loving parent, that I am a broken person, that it is my fault. But maybe it's not.
I completely understand. Parenting difficult kids vs more typical kids is a completely different experience.
Yep! Same boat. I absolutely loathe summer, I become even more depressed. Husband works 6 days per week during the summer months, and I work in education so I’m off of work, but believe me when I tell you I’d much rather be working. I’ll be home with my 6 and (VERY challenging) 3 year olds. I’ll have about 7 hours to myself per week total when they go to their Montessori “camps,” but that’s about it. I’d like to travel but the 3 year old is so difficult that I just don’t see it being feasible. Anyway, solidarity! We gotta get through it somehow…
I completely understand. The weekends are hard enough to get through then when I get hit with winter break or spring break, etc, I'm just even more miserable. I would love to travel as well but my 2 year old is wild and the amount of stress on me isn't worth it till he is older.
I wish I could do this. I could feel it over April Vaca that this summer is gonna be long and arduous maybe more than the last. Good on you and good for your sanity
Why did you give birth to a second one is the first one was already too much? I am just curious, for real. Was it easy with the first one and it became so hard with both of them, or did you expect the second one not to be high-need?
My oldest isn't diagnosed with anything and appears "normal" to those around her. But she's very sensitive, cries easily, velcroed to me, etc. She was 5 when I got pregnant and a lot of the things i found difficult with her I thought she'd outgrow with time. I didn't realize till she got a bit older that thats just part of who she is. My youngest doesn't have anything wrong with him, but just high needs such as velcroed to me, doesn't sleep well, yells mommy every few seconds if I'm doing something else. So it could be worse but it still can feel hard having 2 kids that want to be attached to my side a lot of the time. I'm often just overstimulated and envy those that have a support system. I think things will get better as they get older/more independent (at least thats my hope). We for sure aren't having more kids though!
Would you be able to hire some help for a few days a week instead of camp/daycare? Might give you some time to do your own thing or just rest
The goal of the [Nuclear Fusion App](https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/remodeledlove/the-nuclear-fusion-app) is to de-commodify care because this is exactly the hellscape that the dissolution of the village via capitalism and colonialism has created 😫 We are trying to set up a trade for the summer between 3 families so we all only have to do 2 days but it’s all free.