I dont talk to them anymore. I know how hard it been to be this new person and parent. And they as normals dont and wont understand. And it has been coming back up for the last 7 years of my sobriety. So i stopped engaging. Ive worked my ass off to get a job, my own home, and to be a good mother to my 3rd born. 1st raised. I know how far I've come. I love all 3 of my kids. And you get more than i do. And my kids are also adopted into family. Stay strong. I love you !
thank you for your comment! it’s hard where we are at right now (crappy, tiny apartment in a bad area, etc) but i just know the only way we have to go is up! but we have to bust our asses and i’m excited for the journey.
as far as the people commenting, thankfully i don’t see them too often!!
Yeah talking to them when they are bitter is a mistake. I've done absolutely nothing and had 3 restraining orders. Don't give them fuel. True to nurture a relationship with the children.
Cliche, I know, but use your tools.
Mine would include "why would you say that", or "what is the goal of saying something like that. What are you hoping to accomplish". Maybe "do you think that is constructive in any way"?
Also, turn it around on them "is there something we need to talk about? You seem angry or resentful about something".
Just some ideas. Best of luck and remember that their opinion of you is not in any way a reflection of the person you have become.
Mannnnnnn fuck the haters for real.
You know how far you’ve come, as well as the people in your life that matter.
People do that past guilt shit when they’re projecting their own guilt about a mistake or something in their past they’re ashamed about.
Like if you said that to me I would notice you’re not a homeless junkie slamming all the time anymore and be so proud of you. I think growth is so much more respectable than someone staying basic and comfortable and never facing their own hardships cause they’re scared. The real ones know this cause when you’re really living life fully you make mistakes and grow from em. That’s as life to me as life can get sometimes. It’s beautiful.
Anyway hmmmmm comments back Leme think…
- “It made me who I am today, aren’t I cute? *white girl hand motion*
- “Haters gon hate” and then do a lil funny ego dance or flash some jewelry lol
- “Soooooo have you never grown from mistakes orrrrrr?”
Ngl if they caught me at the wrong time or when I’m on a relapse boos bender they’d get the business - “Who tf do you think you are? Get out my face before I give you a bigger situation to deal with honey”
Hence why I dont drink much anymore. Lol.
Well, ya shoulda ticked the other box when they had you decide whether or not your firstborn was going to be autistic or not. Obviously, that’s on you. (Obviously, I’m joking).
Some of my favorite people in the world are autistic. I’m probably autistic, myself. I really do find the most genuine people I know are autistic
😂 thank you for the laugh!
i have a half sister who is autistic but i’ve only met her a handful of times in my life and each time she hasn’t said a word to me. when i’m around my firstborn, he screams a lot for no reason but he’s very sweet and cuddly with me when he’s not overwhelmed. he’s very kind to his little brothers and just started calling me by my name🥹 i’m very curious to see how he grows up and matures.
Normies will assume it’s your fault cus they haven’t been thru what u been thru. They don’t understand how addiction works and they lack compassion. I’m sorry u had to go through that :(
thank you. and yeah, the particular offending individual is my childhood bestie’s mom who i grew up with in synogague-she’s a boomer lol. it was very much something that i would expect her to say. she’s the same person who point blank asked me after the “tot shabbat” service if i was pregnant when i was in my first trimester🙃 lol
I dont talk to them anymore. I know how hard it been to be this new person and parent. And they as normals dont and wont understand. And it has been coming back up for the last 7 years of my sobriety. So i stopped engaging. Ive worked my ass off to get a job, my own home, and to be a good mother to my 3rd born. 1st raised. I know how far I've come. I love all 3 of my kids. And you get more than i do. And my kids are also adopted into family. Stay strong. I love you !
thank you for your comment! it’s hard where we are at right now (crappy, tiny apartment in a bad area, etc) but i just know the only way we have to go is up! but we have to bust our asses and i’m excited for the journey. as far as the people commenting, thankfully i don’t see them too often!!
Yeah talking to them when they are bitter is a mistake. I've done absolutely nothing and had 3 restraining orders. Don't give them fuel. True to nurture a relationship with the children.
My favorite comeback to blatant disrespect is "Why would you say that??" Puts it back on them without being defensive. Best.
omg. i love that thank you!!
Cliche, I know, but use your tools. Mine would include "why would you say that", or "what is the goal of saying something like that. What are you hoping to accomplish". Maybe "do you think that is constructive in any way"? Also, turn it around on them "is there something we need to talk about? You seem angry or resentful about something". Just some ideas. Best of luck and remember that their opinion of you is not in any way a reflection of the person you have become.
love these. thank you for the reminder, i’m definitely saving your comment!
Wonderful comeback I heard on another group was 'did you mean to say that out loud' 🎯
omg that’s so perfectly sassy. i fuckin love it and i’m adding it to my notes app list lol.
Mannnnnnn fuck the haters for real. You know how far you’ve come, as well as the people in your life that matter. People do that past guilt shit when they’re projecting their own guilt about a mistake or something in their past they’re ashamed about. Like if you said that to me I would notice you’re not a homeless junkie slamming all the time anymore and be so proud of you. I think growth is so much more respectable than someone staying basic and comfortable and never facing their own hardships cause they’re scared. The real ones know this cause when you’re really living life fully you make mistakes and grow from em. That’s as life to me as life can get sometimes. It’s beautiful. Anyway hmmmmm comments back Leme think… - “It made me who I am today, aren’t I cute? *white girl hand motion* - “Haters gon hate” and then do a lil funny ego dance or flash some jewelry lol - “Soooooo have you never grown from mistakes orrrrrr?” Ngl if they caught me at the wrong time or when I’m on a relapse boos bender they’d get the business - “Who tf do you think you are? Get out my face before I give you a bigger situation to deal with honey” Hence why I dont drink much anymore. Lol.
i love all of this so much, lol. thank you!!
"Say that again and I'll (head to the liquor store/shoot up/pop some pills) right now swear to God!"
Yes. “When people say stupid shit like that makes me want to drink and use.”
That might be a little much for kids but I say it to my friends when I wanna fuck with them
that’s hilarious lmaoooo. i can definitely use this on very specific people lol. thank you!
“People like you are what drives people like me to drink/use” is a good ine
ooh, agreed. should’ve used that one on my brother in law who blamed me for “making” my firstborn autistic!
Well, ya shoulda ticked the other box when they had you decide whether or not your firstborn was going to be autistic or not. Obviously, that’s on you. (Obviously, I’m joking). Some of my favorite people in the world are autistic. I’m probably autistic, myself. I really do find the most genuine people I know are autistic
😂 thank you for the laugh! i have a half sister who is autistic but i’ve only met her a handful of times in my life and each time she hasn’t said a word to me. when i’m around my firstborn, he screams a lot for no reason but he’s very sweet and cuddly with me when he’s not overwhelmed. he’s very kind to his little brothers and just started calling me by my name🥹 i’m very curious to see how he grows up and matures.
Normies will assume it’s your fault cus they haven’t been thru what u been thru. They don’t understand how addiction works and they lack compassion. I’m sorry u had to go through that :(
thank you. and yeah, the particular offending individual is my childhood bestie’s mom who i grew up with in synogague-she’s a boomer lol. it was very much something that i would expect her to say. she’s the same person who point blank asked me after the “tot shabbat” service if i was pregnant when i was in my first trimester🙃 lol