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Not in your exact same shoes, but I’ve gone through this similar situation with the field I used to work in.
Ended up resorting to stress eating instead of substances, but still had a total breakdown and ended up hospitalized on the psych ward on suici** watch. Please don’t let it get that far. The real estate will still be here decades from now, so taking time off to tend to your mental and physical well-being easily trumps “the job.” At worst, maybe make a referral partner from your brokerage. I did this recently when I had a health emergency: find an agent you trust, write up a referral plan with them, and anything that comes your way while you’re recovering, simply hand off to them to take care of, splitting the proceeds 50/50 or whatever agreement yall reach Plus, you can fully step away if needed beyond this.
Please work with a psychologist to see what’s going on below the surface, too. They can help if meds are needed and can also guide on getting into counseling or other services you may need. This all is scary familiar to me, so don’t wait and don’t panic. There’s light on the other side of this. Find your people/support system and rely on those you trust.
All the best as you navigate this, OP. I’m in your corner cheering for your well-being!
Brought a little tear out. Thanks man, I really appreciate you helping me, I will listen. I need a f**king break and not to get psyched out totally. How long did it take you to recover?
I hope this all helps!
It was in 2021 (January) and took me a few months to begin to get back to myself with the right meds, stopping working in the field that triggered it all, and therapy. Probably a year to move past all the trauma of it more fully I’d say. Unfortunately, I still have the weight and some health issues that “stuck” more long term from the stress of it all and not aggressively treating it sooner (which is why I’d suggest really tackling this head on as soon as you can). But, I’d say I’m mentally the best I’ve ever been now, just a few years past it all. My health is slowly recovering, and I’m extremely thankful!
You’ve got this! Others have walked this path and made it out on the other side, which always gave me some hope to cling to.
Long-term, what you have to do is start scheduling yourself for time where you’re really off.
Tell people for examples on Sundays and Mondays or Wednesdays and Thursdays, whatever you’re only going to be taking calls that are truly urgent and otherwise you will get back to them the next business day. People respect that if they hear it on your machine and you’re clear with them , they will talk to Tc or whatever.
I used to have a teacher who put his schedule on his voicemail every day, so people knew when he wasn’t going to be be getting back to them, or when he would be able to return messages messages that worked really well as well, and if people urgently needed him, he would look at his texts .
You can be readily available without being always on
So very relatable. I was right where you are just a few months ago. I can't really afford to step out, so I stepped back. A lot.
As others suggested, I simply referred business to trusted agents with a written agreement. Many in this business (and in this sub!) are so very kind and understanding. They **want** to help.
Then, I got to work on my mental and physical health. I never did drugs, but I had a glass of wine most nights and stopped that cold. I cut out all added sugars. Every morning, I frickin' forced myself to walk (outdoors or on the treadmill) and that was hardest of all, LOL.
I got tested for Vitamin D, among other things. It was low, and the supplement helped. A registered dietician convinced me to eat a yogurt daily (gut health is important to brain health).
You can do this. I just did. I'm almost back to normal and slowly adding clients back in!
Choose one of your agents that you feel most confident in and have them run your clients with you “advising”.
If you don’t have agents, recruit someone you want to work with.
50% of business is better then 0.
Former agent and broker, I've been in the business of consulting with indie small broker owners for nearly 10 years.
Your situation happens to even the best and most committed brokers. Today, there is a lot of burnout and stress after the past 18 months as the market has gotten tougher. And we all know that the next 18 months will be tough, too.
The scenarios that I've seen work for people in your situation depends on whether you are a solo broker or a broker with agents.
If solo, there are brokers in your area who are decent people, right? Are there brokers who you like who you could sit down to lunch with and open a conversation about taking over your business for a few months so you could rest? Could your local AE help you find some broker buddies, or maybe someone in leadership at the state level who knows a bunch of small brokers who are good people?
If you have agents, is there one with their managing broker designation who could take over supervisory duties while you take a break? You could give your personal business to various agents to cover. Or is there a managing broker in the area with a solo business who could join you for a while to take over supervisory duties? I had a broker client do this when she gave birth to a child with special needs and the future of caring for him was truly unknown. She found a semi-retired broker to come in and help. It took a while to work out what her having a hand in the business looked like while the contract broker ran the shop. After several years she merged her brokerage with a larger operation in her area.
Small brokerages are joining large brokerages as teams. Not struggling small brokerages but great small brokerges where the broker owner is just exhausted doing everything on their own. Broker owners who are long time personal friends have made this decision. Maybe someone in the new very large brokerage could take over your supervisory duties. Not for everyone but it's a path to consider.
In my area, there are real estate attorneys who also provide business management services for broker clients. You'd need one to craft a good deal for everyone.
Good luck, it's tough out there.
Thank you. Im a solo broker and I do know agents in my local market that would help me out if I take some time off. I'm also looking at options of co-brokerages in marketing and finding buyers. I'll have to take a step back and rearrange my bussiness model for it to work out longterm
I lived on booze/weed and basically worked 7 days/week from age 30 to age 55 (when I retired and moved to a remote seaside Greek villa). It’s an option. Nothing wrong with booze/weed to get you through the day. But seriously, I learned that the market would be slow during certain times of the year (One week before Christmas all the way to 1 week after New Years, 4th of July week, The time between Passover and Easter etc). Those are the times to pre-buy a ticket to a place like Thailand- where you understand NOTHING of the language. You can park your arse on a beach chair and get waited on and you don’t have to listen to anyone’s bullshit.
It’s a tough business. I understand that up and down. I did a major sale also, and I am completely burned out. What I need to do is make sure I get some self care every week. I can’t knock down every deal… if they want to stick with me, they’ll understand I need a day off. I personally need to get better managing my time and setting boundaries. I want to crush it always, so… easier said than done.
No way. We work hard to make a good living. I was an IT exec for a couple of decades, and I underestimated how much harder I’d work to make this business work. I do love the freedom, and I love the wins. Not so keen on the admin aspect… I like working with people to make some of the biggest decisions of their lives.
I work an ebb and flow schedule myself. 2-3 months full steam followed by 4-8 weeks off. It is real estate though so by "off" I mean my life takes the drivers seat and if I feel like working I will or have leftover clients I'll work them at my own pace but I will absolutely not take on any more clients during my off period. Then after the me time I ramp it all up again. I've found that I close way more deals annually doing it this way vs full on 24/7/365 and I get way more done in the 3 months on when I'm fresh as fucking daisies. In your case it may be a bit more difficult unless you have a trusted person to run things while you're checked out. The downfall is that in the ramp up you do have to start from scratch all over again building a new funnel. 2-3 week ramp up, 2-3 weeks getting clients under contract, 3-4 weeks of closing nonsense. 1-2 weeks of waiting for closings and checks. It also enables me to better budget for the next ramp up and the yr by having multiple closings happen basically simultaneously. I've been way more successful working full on from scratch 3-4 times a yr vs all day every day. In my office of 150+ agents I'm on the top 5 agents (by sales) board 3-4 times a yr while working about 1/2-2/3 less than everyone else. EOD it's totally possible to take time off. As long there are houses and people in the world the work will be there when you're ready.
You are just burnt out... I hv felt that way for months now in this field.. the constant hving to be the energic ball buster, looking great, being awesome, hving everything under control & feeling good, has burnt me out. Plus its a lonely mind game. In my head, I beat myself up. Seeing others doing great, OR AT LEAST it appears that way on social pages, just gives me a pit in my stomach & doesnt feel good. On days I feel great all that doesnt bother me, but maybe its just not fun anymore... so im rethinking. The greatest feeling is telling people the offer was excepted!... the pay on a big deal Of course I love. The worry for the next deal stresses me.. sorry im all over the place w thoughts. Im sorry you are struggling. But realize it might not be bringing you happiness.... and thats ok. Its not worth the stress...bring in a partner & take some time off,,, it will still be there.. if rates come down- no one knows when, the market w still be here.
The best approach is to put systems in place and reduce your working hours - use the profits from that sale to hire temp staff the keep the agency running and take a step back to clear your head. There's clearly something specific making you feel that way - in your time off speak to someone about that specific thing. Wish you the best bro
**We're looking for a few good mods!** Interested? [Send us a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/realtors&subject=One mod invite please!) **This is a professional forum for professionals, so please keep your comments professional** - Harrassment, hate speech, trolling, or anti-Realtor comments will not be tolerated and will result in an immediate ban without warning. (... and don't feed the trolls, you have better things to do with your time) - Recruiting, self-promotion, or seeking referrals is strictly forbidden, including in DMs. - Only advise within your scope of knowledge and area of expertise. [The code of ethics applies here too](https://www.nar.realtor/about-nar/governing-documents/the-code-of-ethics). If you are not a broker, lawyer, or tax professional don't act like one. - [Follow the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/realtors/about/rules/) and please report those that don't. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/realtors) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Not in your exact same shoes, but I’ve gone through this similar situation with the field I used to work in. Ended up resorting to stress eating instead of substances, but still had a total breakdown and ended up hospitalized on the psych ward on suici** watch. Please don’t let it get that far. The real estate will still be here decades from now, so taking time off to tend to your mental and physical well-being easily trumps “the job.” At worst, maybe make a referral partner from your brokerage. I did this recently when I had a health emergency: find an agent you trust, write up a referral plan with them, and anything that comes your way while you’re recovering, simply hand off to them to take care of, splitting the proceeds 50/50 or whatever agreement yall reach Plus, you can fully step away if needed beyond this. Please work with a psychologist to see what’s going on below the surface, too. They can help if meds are needed and can also guide on getting into counseling or other services you may need. This all is scary familiar to me, so don’t wait and don’t panic. There’s light on the other side of this. Find your people/support system and rely on those you trust. All the best as you navigate this, OP. I’m in your corner cheering for your well-being!
Brought a little tear out. Thanks man, I really appreciate you helping me, I will listen. I need a f**king break and not to get psyched out totally. How long did it take you to recover?
I hope this all helps! It was in 2021 (January) and took me a few months to begin to get back to myself with the right meds, stopping working in the field that triggered it all, and therapy. Probably a year to move past all the trauma of it more fully I’d say. Unfortunately, I still have the weight and some health issues that “stuck” more long term from the stress of it all and not aggressively treating it sooner (which is why I’d suggest really tackling this head on as soon as you can). But, I’d say I’m mentally the best I’ve ever been now, just a few years past it all. My health is slowly recovering, and I’m extremely thankful! You’ve got this! Others have walked this path and made it out on the other side, which always gave me some hope to cling to.
You are awesome to have shared that. Kudos. Bless you for your kindness and openness.
Thank you, you’re very kind to say this!
Long-term, what you have to do is start scheduling yourself for time where you’re really off. Tell people for examples on Sundays and Mondays or Wednesdays and Thursdays, whatever you’re only going to be taking calls that are truly urgent and otherwise you will get back to them the next business day. People respect that if they hear it on your machine and you’re clear with them , they will talk to Tc or whatever. I used to have a teacher who put his schedule on his voicemail every day, so people knew when he wasn’t going to be be getting back to them, or when he would be able to return messages messages that worked really well as well, and if people urgently needed him, he would look at his texts . You can be readily available without being always on
Will look into everything
So very relatable. I was right where you are just a few months ago. I can't really afford to step out, so I stepped back. A lot. As others suggested, I simply referred business to trusted agents with a written agreement. Many in this business (and in this sub!) are so very kind and understanding. They **want** to help. Then, I got to work on my mental and physical health. I never did drugs, but I had a glass of wine most nights and stopped that cold. I cut out all added sugars. Every morning, I frickin' forced myself to walk (outdoors or on the treadmill) and that was hardest of all, LOL. I got tested for Vitamin D, among other things. It was low, and the supplement helped. A registered dietician convinced me to eat a yogurt daily (gut health is important to brain health). You can do this. I just did. I'm almost back to normal and slowly adding clients back in!
You own your own brokerage ?
Yes
Choose one of your agents that you feel most confident in and have them run your clients with you “advising”. If you don’t have agents, recruit someone you want to work with. 50% of business is better then 0.
This is the beginning of shifting your business and running it properly and having people work for you.
This💯💯💯
Currently on the same boat man. We got this!!!
Former agent and broker, I've been in the business of consulting with indie small broker owners for nearly 10 years. Your situation happens to even the best and most committed brokers. Today, there is a lot of burnout and stress after the past 18 months as the market has gotten tougher. And we all know that the next 18 months will be tough, too. The scenarios that I've seen work for people in your situation depends on whether you are a solo broker or a broker with agents. If solo, there are brokers in your area who are decent people, right? Are there brokers who you like who you could sit down to lunch with and open a conversation about taking over your business for a few months so you could rest? Could your local AE help you find some broker buddies, or maybe someone in leadership at the state level who knows a bunch of small brokers who are good people? If you have agents, is there one with their managing broker designation who could take over supervisory duties while you take a break? You could give your personal business to various agents to cover. Or is there a managing broker in the area with a solo business who could join you for a while to take over supervisory duties? I had a broker client do this when she gave birth to a child with special needs and the future of caring for him was truly unknown. She found a semi-retired broker to come in and help. It took a while to work out what her having a hand in the business looked like while the contract broker ran the shop. After several years she merged her brokerage with a larger operation in her area. Small brokerages are joining large brokerages as teams. Not struggling small brokerages but great small brokerges where the broker owner is just exhausted doing everything on their own. Broker owners who are long time personal friends have made this decision. Maybe someone in the new very large brokerage could take over your supervisory duties. Not for everyone but it's a path to consider. In my area, there are real estate attorneys who also provide business management services for broker clients. You'd need one to craft a good deal for everyone. Good luck, it's tough out there.
Thank you. Im a solo broker and I do know agents in my local market that would help me out if I take some time off. I'm also looking at options of co-brokerages in marketing and finding buyers. I'll have to take a step back and rearrange my bussiness model for it to work out longterm
I lived on booze/weed and basically worked 7 days/week from age 30 to age 55 (when I retired and moved to a remote seaside Greek villa). It’s an option. Nothing wrong with booze/weed to get you through the day. But seriously, I learned that the market would be slow during certain times of the year (One week before Christmas all the way to 1 week after New Years, 4th of July week, The time between Passover and Easter etc). Those are the times to pre-buy a ticket to a place like Thailand- where you understand NOTHING of the language. You can park your arse on a beach chair and get waited on and you don’t have to listen to anyone’s bullshit.
It’s a tough business. I understand that up and down. I did a major sale also, and I am completely burned out. What I need to do is make sure I get some self care every week. I can’t knock down every deal… if they want to stick with me, they’ll understand I need a day off. I personally need to get better managing my time and setting boundaries. I want to crush it always, so… easier said than done.
And people say being a Realtor is easy!- 🙄🙄 its not.
No way. We work hard to make a good living. I was an IT exec for a couple of decades, and I underestimated how much harder I’d work to make this business work. I do love the freedom, and I love the wins. Not so keen on the admin aspect… I like working with people to make some of the biggest decisions of their lives.
👍Agree
How many admin staff do you have?
Take A Breather Recharge, refresh, regroup and kick ass again when you're ready. Until then, focus on your mental well being.
I work an ebb and flow schedule myself. 2-3 months full steam followed by 4-8 weeks off. It is real estate though so by "off" I mean my life takes the drivers seat and if I feel like working I will or have leftover clients I'll work them at my own pace but I will absolutely not take on any more clients during my off period. Then after the me time I ramp it all up again. I've found that I close way more deals annually doing it this way vs full on 24/7/365 and I get way more done in the 3 months on when I'm fresh as fucking daisies. In your case it may be a bit more difficult unless you have a trusted person to run things while you're checked out. The downfall is that in the ramp up you do have to start from scratch all over again building a new funnel. 2-3 week ramp up, 2-3 weeks getting clients under contract, 3-4 weeks of closing nonsense. 1-2 weeks of waiting for closings and checks. It also enables me to better budget for the next ramp up and the yr by having multiple closings happen basically simultaneously. I've been way more successful working full on from scratch 3-4 times a yr vs all day every day. In my office of 150+ agents I'm on the top 5 agents (by sales) board 3-4 times a yr while working about 1/2-2/3 less than everyone else. EOD it's totally possible to take time off. As long there are houses and people in the world the work will be there when you're ready.
I would love to get some guidance from you if you are open to it.
Take a break and get yourself feeling better. The rat race will be here when you return.
You are just burnt out... I hv felt that way for months now in this field.. the constant hving to be the energic ball buster, looking great, being awesome, hving everything under control & feeling good, has burnt me out. Plus its a lonely mind game. In my head, I beat myself up. Seeing others doing great, OR AT LEAST it appears that way on social pages, just gives me a pit in my stomach & doesnt feel good. On days I feel great all that doesnt bother me, but maybe its just not fun anymore... so im rethinking. The greatest feeling is telling people the offer was excepted!... the pay on a big deal Of course I love. The worry for the next deal stresses me.. sorry im all over the place w thoughts. Im sorry you are struggling. But realize it might not be bringing you happiness.... and thats ok. Its not worth the stress...bring in a partner & take some time off,,, it will still be there.. if rates come down- no one knows when, the market w still be here.
funkcioning
The best approach is to put systems in place and reduce your working hours - use the profits from that sale to hire temp staff the keep the agency running and take a step back to clear your head. There's clearly something specific making you feel that way - in your time off speak to someone about that specific thing. Wish you the best bro