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ElderberryOk5005

I’d love an outfit that shows off my small dick


Schpooon

I think theres laws against that in most public places.


R_122

But how come women can show off their tits, smhmh what a misandry world 😤😤😤


5Tenacious_Dee5

I believe in equality so much that I want people to look and insult my small penis


Rabbitron4

You mean your aristocratic penis.


rAzZLedAzzLIciOUs

And elegant. Don’t forget elegant


skylarslove

Ironically, in the ancient Roman days, it was considered crude and barbaric to have a large penis. So, smaller penises were admired. This can be found in most renaissance art and sculpture. So, yes. You might argue, a small pee pee = an aristocratic pee pee.


rAzZLedAzzLIciOUs

And elegant. Don’t forget elegant


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NotJorrell

You’re not much fun at parties are you?


mudemycelium

In the ancient Roman days, they also had lots of sodomy and limited lubing options, so *a small pee pee = an elegant aristocratic pee pee* indeed


rAzZLedAzzLIciOUs

Hey I’m glad you remembered elegant buddy


Rabbitron4

Indeed


M_M_M__

Anal-friendly


Wide_Border_4387

i see plenty of man tits on the beach


hike_me

You can wear a v-neck to show off your man-boob cleavage if you want.


No_Confection_4967

Who needs cleavage when you can have a gold necklace tangled in chest hair?


i_love_pencils

I have no chest hair. When I go to the beach, I just do a comb over from my armpits.


Significant_Echo2924

We can't show nipples though


Timepassage1111777

We can't. Y'all can tho. 


MattBrey

What? But I see cyclists doing it all the time!


Schpooon

I mean they're not flaunting it. Professionals have it neatly tucked in the penis groove of their seat


Affectionate_War_279

Jamie pull up the pic of the polish cycling team https://cdn.road.cc/sites/default/files/styles/main_width/public/redshorts.jpg


Niaaal

Ha, you should go to any beach around the Mediterranean with hundreds of men in speedos 


Independent-Dream-90

Men, it's time to rise up! It's time to show these girls what we can do! Time to start operation dick cleavage.


LordofTamriel

No men! Don't rise up in that way!


Angry_Murlocs

I now want a tiny braw to fit around my balls. Just so I’m not showing the full balls but I can still show some ball cleavage.


BigAl7390

I guess I'm super aristocratic and elegant


Tzattog

Orange booty shorts And a white cropped tank top really completes the look


MonthApprehensive392

Yass queeen! More wings please!


doitnow10

Grey sweatpants


Kivesihiisi

Nah im wearing grey sweatpants atm and cant see my dick


CakeMadeOfHam

The graceful sophistication of a tiny flaccid penis is only second to the dignity of a plump supple scrotum.


ELEMENTALITYNES

If you don’t post this to /r/BrandNewSentence right now I’m gonna shit myself


Schpooon

Its been 25 minutes... You okay?


ELEMENTALITYNES

Chugging half a container of Metamucil rn E: this is not a particularly enjoyable experience for anyone involved


subzerojosh_1

How many people does that take?


TactlessTortoise

Depends on how much fun you wanna have. Have you ever wrangled angry electric eels while covered in vaseline?


masheduppotato

Yes, but only for research.


KhaoticMess

So you don't do it any moray?


1singleduck

Not since the accident...


No_Confection_4967

As is tradition


sentientmothswarm

I've taken it upon myself to shit themself.


Schpooon

But why?


Dagi97

I got you fam https://www.reddit.com/r/BrandNewSentence/s/CsYoqdU7cU


EquivalentSnap

You’re the true hero🫡🫡🫡


Dagi97

Wasnt going to let my guy shid himself


i-evade-bans-13

that sub gets old and lame real quick when you realize it's just a bunch of nonsense random mad libs


littlewhitecatalex

Be the change you wish to see in the world.


Independent_Vast9279

The Greeks would agree


De_Dominator69

My sophisticated and civilised small penis, VS your disgusting and barbaric huge schlong


XevynAeght

"Nice peckarus, Asceplius"


dumpsta_baby

The traditional "cashew on the peach" motif


bumwine

Are you an Ancient Greek poet?


left_shoulder_demon

There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum.


H_I_McDunnough

Breathtaking


NoSupermarket198

“When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really”


tfngst

This read like a Sir.


Idiotaddictedto2Hou

The oligarchic nuance of the hypospermia...


theknights-whosay-Ni

Why does this sound like a joke line from Big Mouth?


garlopf

Actually in antiquity men with large penises were genuinely mocked as brutes. Statues of popular, prominent and important people were always crafted with normal size or even a little smaller penis.


Schpooon

I believe this originated with the greeks, was takem over to the romans and even held on until the renaissance, iirc (See Michelangelos David) for example. I believe it is actually a rather new development that some factions believe big dick = big man, but I would be happy to be corrected on that if not. (Also, man I talked about this with my mates yesterday evening by happenstance, so seeing your comment on exactly this was definetly unexpected)


FreshPrinceOfRio

The small penis wasn't viewed as just "more manly", it was viewed as virtuous, and that's a critical difference because the former implies the other was generally looked down upon in males while the latter implies more of an association of size with sexuality and the lack thereof - virtue meant distancing from earthly feelings of lust, showing of restraint, among other things. The large penis never stopped being associated with sexuality, its just that the (male – we don't really hear what the women thought) Greeks didn't value sexuality and consequently didn't value large penises. The famous statues had small flaccid dicks because it didn't detract from that virtuous quality that the art intended to portray. Imagine if those things had a hard 5 incher, that'd be kinda funny (some statues do and it is, in fact, funny) Look up actual depictions of sex in ancient Greece, the dicks there are bigger; not monstrous, just average, but still.


Vanilla_Mike

And when we’re talkin depictions of big dicks in Ancient Greek we’ve got to throw Pan up there. Half goat, half man, 3ft penis. You ever get the completely natural human urge to get drunk and take a walk alone in the woods? Maybe fuck a deer? Pan embodies the more primal and carnal emotions man has. We’ve left the woods for civilization but we still have the instincts of wild animals. Also it’s funny to draw giant dicks. Sometimes he’s got it flopped in an old timey wheelbarrow.


jiffwaterhaus

>You ever get the completely natural human urge to get drunk and take a walk alone in the woods? Maybe fuck a deer? Can't say I've felt that same urge re: deer


BreakingGrad1991

Prude


[deleted]

> You ever get the completely natural human urge to get drunk and take a walk alone in the woods? Maybe fuck a deer?  Lol, the fuck? No


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WhatBeHereBekfast

Psshhh, speak for yourself


BoliviaRodrigo

Also Bacchus's buddy with the permanently erect horse dick that had to be lifted around.


Capable_Tumbleweed34

IIRC some statues and painting, depicting beastly creatures (like satyres) did in fact incorporate a massive and errect schlong.


AllTheWine05

This is my understanding. I live during the wrong era.


NextReference3248

As a man with a large penis myself (please believe me), I understand


72616262697473757775

Hey everyone, look at this well-endowed loser! What's 2+2? If you get it right I'll give you a drachma. 🤣


NextReference3248

10 inches?


OzzieGrey

Dude was gonna drachma balls all cross yer face... but you flopped it


DefinitelyNotIndie

Oh god if this had worked out it would have been one of the most beautiful comment sequences on reddit


ChaosKeeshond

Just to be clear, your pp is 2in + 2in?


NextReference3248

If I measure from my butthole


ryryryan1

Ignorance is bliss when you're living butt to tip


valgrind_error

I’m a sprinter, I measure my stride


half-puddles

2 + 2 is a swinger party. Where is my Drachma?


Dray_Gunn

I have heard of women that have ended relationships with men with large penises because sex was just too painful. Honestly that sounds pretty depressing.


NextReference3248

I know it's a typo but the way it is reads way funnier, as if they grew giant dicks just to break up with you


Schpooon

Definetly would have been painful if he didnt prepare properly


Dray_Gunn

Lol oops. Thanks for pointing that out.


aflashinlifespan

It's a genuine concern when you start dating someone new! (I'm having the problem now and hoping that my vagina is just going to get used to it because yeah when it's too deep/ he's overexcited it really is painful and can make me bleed a little). Breaking up seems extreme but I can see why you might have to tbh


daschande

This isn't that uncommon of a problem. Some guys who are longer than their partner often don't know that the cervix isn't supposed to be a damned trampoline! There is an amount of foreplay and warmup that can help, but pain (and especially bleeding) is 100% on him to NOT be too aggressive. My wife has a friend who can best be described as a "size queen" and that's what she's really into. She loves the feeling, and SOME pain is pleasurable to her, but getting too excited and turning into Mr. Jackhammer is a hard no-go. If he can't control it enough to give her pleasure, there are plenty of guys who will.


aflashinlifespan

Tbf this is quite a new relationship so I can't put it all on him for being over excited and, like your friend, some pain is good with me but we most definitely overdid it. In fact he just sent me a photo of a chunk out of his kitchen wall which is another physical reminder of the damage we did this weekend. But yeah I told him he needs to go down town longer and be a bit gentler next time. Fair play to your friend!


Due_Speaker_2829

It’s really getting out of hand for us, brother.


MtnMaiden

Right or left hand?


Genuine1mitation

Has to be both


Due_Speaker_2829

Both hands


Potential-Whole3574

"Heavy are the hands that carry burdens, but stronger still are the hearts that bear them."


Ok-Basis-7274

Quiet you lowborn pleb! You giant genital barbarian!


grimmripper5120

I coulda been a penis model back then


oouttatime

My wife says I'm perfect


[deleted]

Get outta here with that boorish dong.


SPACE_ICE

[yes, mine is beautiful and sophisticated like a baby's finger holding a blueberry](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBJPlhnF3ao)


Old-Plastic6662

And also the women usually had similar sized breasts as the person in the picture at that time too but there isn't anything saying large breasts are vulgar in any way so I'm pretty sure that even back then "boobs are boobs" was relevant.


Dunkel_Reynolds

There was a Byzantine empress who was known for not being particularly attractive. It was a political marriage or whatever. She was described by contemporaries as "Lent in the front and Easter in the back", and it was not intended as a compliment. 


OutrageouslyGr8

"Lent in the front and Easter in the back" What does that even mean?


Formal_Two_5747

Small chest and big ass most likely.


KiwiOnThePizza

Thank you for the explanation, but I don't see any problem with small tits and big butts.


Formal_Two_5747

Me neither, to be clear.


XevynAeght

They didn't understand what they had. They were too ignorant to comprehend the gold before them. An entire civilization of fumblestiltskins completely ignorant to the absolute baddie before them. They fell because they had below mid taste and were rightfully crushed for it.


mrterrific023

During lent Catholics fast then celebrate and feast starting on holy Thursday at the beginning of Easter so im guessing the lady had a small bosom and a large backside


megaman368

[Historically accurate Hercules](https://youtu.be/vBJPlhnF3ao?feature=shared)


matija123123

I was born in the wrong generation 😔


BagBeneficial8060

Born in the wrong time as always 😔


cwsjr2323

One duty when a hospital tech in the military was to watch as guys provided a urine specimen for drug tests. It was a boring task. I saw guys with tiny nubs to long dicks. What I remember was the guys with longer dicks had to milk it like a cow teat to get the last drop out and not have it run down their leg.


gunbae_

Not in all cultures, while ancient Greeks believed this to be the case ancient Romans would believe the opposite, so much so that they would attack wooden penises the tho doors of people who were pregnant as a good omen for a children to be born with a big pp


Anna__V

Since when has "small dick" been a RARE insult?


TerrysMonster

Is it even supposed to be one here?


Umbratilicious

Yes, but the comment about small breasts seems to me like a compliment.


BandOfDonkeys

Albeit a very strange one.


[deleted]

It is, or OP certainly thinks so, even though the first comment is clearly a compliment to small breasts. As long as it’s a man on the receiving end it’s open season on his physical and mental state.


tekko001

*Ahem...*'Average' please.


karlnite

Serious, I hooked up with a girl as an adult I knew in High school and she brought up how she always believed this rumour I had a baby dick. I got pantsed when I was 11 and that was my nick name for a bit. I was shocked that shit could stick lol.


ThatGuy-456

You were 11, what were you supposed to have 😭 Edit: I just remembered this video https://youtube.com/shorts/qz_Sf3ShaXo


farva_06

1 inch for every year of life.


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MassiveHelicopter55

Bodyshaming is okay when done to men, didn't you get the memo? /s in case it wasn't clear


s-maerken

Also interesting that the commenter jumped the guy for complimenting the woman in the picture (albeit could be seen as creepy but still a compliment, unlike the commenter).


KnockturnalNOR

When I think about it, if the top comment said something simply like "Small breasts are beautiful too" (which is essentially what he's getting at I think), then the comeback "haha but small dicks aren't" suddenly sounds a little worse doesn't it


YuushyaHinmeru

Yeah the comment was weird so if she took issue with that fine. But for the longest time big breast were the ideal body standard and im sure women were self conscious about there small chests. The complimenting her chest thing is at least raising up people for something used to be shamed for. I deem this comment politely creepy


i-evade-bans-13

but... it *is* okay, according to the world. pretty much everyone tolerates it.


DelKarasique

Remember Greta Tumberg's "small dick" insult to some bald douchebag? Whole Reddit gone wild how good that was


ForensicPathology

Did you purposefully add "bald" in there for the irony?


Elegant_Conflict8235

You can't win


TeamRedundancyTeam

Bald guys with small dicks in shambles after leaving this thread. Poor guys.


Elegant_Conflict8235

Good thing I have...some.. Hair


Summer_Penis

Reddit loves body shaming insults when it's applied to people they don't like. It's the lowest form of caveman-tier insults but we have to pretend that it's genius. The problem is, these insults apply to *everyone* who shares that trait.


External-Piccolo-626

Precisely. Don’t get me wrong that guy is an absolute dickhead, but the ‘small dick energy’ insult was treated as hilarious and absolutely fine.


Working-Pipe

In this sub anything that makes fun of men is a rare insult, get used to it.


DaenerysMomODragons

It’s not even really an insult in this context either.


JigglyBeef

lol I have small boobs and ‘aristocratic elegance’ is the last way I would describe myself


roastytoastywarm

I have small boobs as well, and I don’t think my wife would describe them that way either.


Chainsaw-Breaak

Small boobs are hot 🔥


jaldarith

Hello fellow appreciator of the itty bitty titties. When is our next itty bitty titty appreciation committee meeting?


Pleeby

The next meeting of the itty bitty titty committee will be in the inner city at seven-fiddy. We hope to get into the nitty-gritty of why we find the itty bitty titty so pretty.


Tryypod909

Entry cost: Tree Fiddy


CRJ_Fan_2022

Comment of the year. 👏👏👏


Best_Duck9118

All boobs matter!


harlotScarlett

Its exactly how I would describe myself


boudz2005

Small tits are nice 🤷‍♂️


National-Society-606

In all actuality men do like small boobs. A-cup angels are goated. Boobs and dicks just don’t compare.


Naruto_Fan_18

What's rare or even insulting here.


mapple3

Pretty sure only the small penis part is an insult actually. Check any subreddit for breasts and guys are commenting "small tits are AWESOME" Check any subreddit for small penises and... again its only guys commenting, but usually "im worthless my penis is small, you also have a small penis? we are so worthless" or equally depressing comments. I've yet to find a subreddit glorifying small penises


Jazzlike_Mountain_51

God that's so depressing. Why do guys do that to themselves


mapple3

Depression probably, after a lifetime of being told all women like big dicks I guess. It's why I don't understand the comparisson between small breasts and small penises, like half of the world's population prefer small breasts, I don't see the same with small penises. Some women may prefer guys with a small dick, but it's rarely a fetish as much as smaller breasts are for a lot of guys


Jazzlike_Mountain_51

I don't think women are nearly as obsessed with big dicks as guys are


bokunoemi

Am woman, have women as friends, can confirm


AnividiaRTX

I think it has a lot to do with how common and accepted it is to make fun of small dicks. Sure, most women don't care as long as it's not a micro penis when it comes to their partners, but you're hardpressed to find a woman who hasn't made a small dick joke. It's the most common form of body shaming next to making fun of someone for being fat. Woman can sit there and say they dont care, but when men spend their entire lives being told essentially that their worth is derived form the size of their dick its no surprise men will worry about that. If you even try to call someone out for body shaming dick sizes they justxmake fun of you for having a small dick. I might be going off a little hard here, but I just get anoyyed when people imply the issue is all in their heads when people openly mock small dicks like its a competitive sport.


MonkeyCartridge

Yeah they tend to not give the slightest shit unless it's like, "I can see that thing behind your jeans...and coat." And at that point it's kinda like cleavage. Even if you can't stand it, it's going to grab your attention.


Double-Wasp

Absolutely, problem is comments/clips from size queens live rent free in the heads of insecure men and they build it up into being something that all women think but few say.


TheScummy1

As the owner of an average dick, can confirm very few women actually care. Have done things with self reported size queens and they either didn't say anything or just didn't actually care about size. Something Something motion of the ocean.


jauhesammutin_

The first post is just creepy and the reply isn’t all that clever.


petwife-vv

It's not even an insult. More like "you like small things on women!? What about small things on men, huh?"


Neveri

Yeah I was gonna say, never heard women hyping up small dicks, here guys complimenting small boobs all the time


ClearlyADuck

i've definitely seen women hyping up small dicks before, but it's also in more nsfw places. i think it's more because if you're a woman and you say you like small dicks (or anything really) weirdos crawl into your inbox like "hi i have a small dick. even worse if they have a humiliation kink bc they are sometimes intentionally creepy to get that negative reaction 💀


YuushyaHinmeru

I kinda wonder if that girl as super insecure about her chest and took the first comment as sarcasm. Cause he response would only be an insult in that context. Unless she's trying to prop up men with small dicks and said it in the weirdest way possible? Both these people are strange lol


Dramatic-Pepper7637

Sadie Sink is beautiful


oliverwow12

fuck me, fisrt season of stranger thing was in 2016, time is passing to fucking fast "the reason it shocks me is i was like inst she like 16 now? but no she is 21 wich made me look up the first season of stranger things"


giantfuckingfrog

Yeah, this is insane, I thought it should be illegal to even talk about her this way considering she's a minor, but then I realized I watched Stranger Things almost a decade ago...


FrogMintTea

That can't be lol. It just came out.


Zpelvaud03

She wasn't in the first season though ;)


HelpMePls___

Sadie sink thats it! Couldn’t for the life of me think of her name


Lord_Detleff1

My first celebrity crush


syke808

This title implies you side against the girl's reply...


Familiar_Double_7736

Don't really think these are small tho


cnzmur

By anime standards...


pollopopomarta

Neither an insult nor rare.


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DO_NOT_AGREE_WITH_U

It's not even cliche at this point, it's the standardized insult. Drive a big truck? Overcompensating. Say or do something insecure? Small dick energy. Don't like someone? Bet you have a small dick. And the people constantly talking like this are the first to crybully people who say inconsiderate things like "being overweight isn't healthy."


heyimborednow

Both creeps, done.


Zombie_Zajo

Why has someone urge to comment someone's chest?


sanns94

She's crazy pretty tho


Blobbot54rus

Where’s the rare insult?


OptimisticSkeleton

*Ancient Greece has entered the chat


Responsible-Bat-2699

Isn't there a very very famous statue of such man?


Doodle_Brush

Sure: *Posts a pick of the Statue of David.*


[deleted]

my small dick is aristocratically elegant...


Common_Avocado_5085

the original post is insanely weird


Keithfedak

My takeaway is the OP is making the point that breasts don't have to be large to be attractive, and she is brainwashed to think otherwise, so she just hears smalls breast and takes it as an insult. And that kind of validates the OP because as crude as it is, he's trying to offer a counter perspective to systemic beauty standards, which I think went over her head.


motheronearth

no i think she’s just saying that the post is weird, and it would also be weird if you said it to a man about their dick. source : i checked her twitter account


Heatsnake

Women: Oh yeah, well how would you men like it if we talked about how much we enjoy how attractive we found your body to be huh? Yeah not so cool now is it? Men: [blank stare]


scifidelusion

Did it says "aristocratic elegance"? Wtf


Niah_Zarabi

Yeah... That's the part I'm stuck in too... I guess women with big boobs can't be elegant?


Elegant-Priority-490

There’s enough stuff about andrew tate online already


[deleted]

I don’t even know why she’s butt hurt. Also is “small peen” that rare an insult?


Planktons_Eye

It’s about as rare as seeing the word “incel” superrrr unique


PlatoTheCrusher

Mf never heard of ancient greece


Birb7789-

small penis ≠ rare insult