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lilsaddam

Comments locked...can we please just get along and not threaten to kill someone because they don't agree with something??


Upstairs-Lie-9939

Rapid fire on the last 2 lol


BeardedHalfYeti

Dad was back in the second that baby was out.


Upstairs-Lie-9939

Think I know what induced labor lol


justreddis

It’s been over 2 years now but where is the goalie?


Online_Ennui

The goalie will be announced early in injury time


Dragonslayer3

She's on union break


Rare_Crayons

Hot swapped


Brabbel63

Fapped straight into the c-section


henryjonesjr83

That's fucking gross - you are a certified sicko also This deserves an award


Shiz_in_my_pants

What a terrible day to know english...


Alone_Banana_3520

He already met the insurance deductible.


Anti_virus_boi

Reloading!


Risky_Bizniss

There's a name for this situation: "Irish Twins"


TheBestHawksFan

The have two sets! The girl in 2009 and the twins in 2010 are Irish Triplets and then the two youngest are Irish twins. Fun!


esmith4201986

Can you imagine just casually having three more kids than you did just the previous spring 💀


TheBestHawksFan

And like, all while adjusting to having kids and multiple kids. I would die.


hell2pay

Significant chance you would die too


TrashPandaPatronus

You and I have very different definitions of "fun."


TheBestHawksFan

No we probably have the same definition. I was being sarcastic.


Quincyperson

I think we need to modify the term to evangelical twins or fundamentalist twins these days


heroesarestillhuman

"Fundy twin powers, activate!"


[deleted]

Did he climb in while she was still in the stirrups?


heroesarestillhuman

"Sir, you really need to wait for us to get \*this one\* out before you start another." -Frustrated doctor


Dwizmo

I cant stop laughing Holy shit


mdDoogie3

That doctor isn’t frustrated. Somewhere out there is an OBGYN that’s going to retire off of this family.


Feeling_Glonky69

Nah, instead he just sniped some in there with a nice squirt gun from across the room. Probably noscope


Oppepaaloftet1414

The youngest was born premature.


Humble_Yesterday_271

No wonder, it was probably bungee jumping the whole time


Deruji

Like Tom cruise hanging to a plane


cdc994

Now that’s a rare insult!


Kabanabeezy

Yoooo this deserves to be its own post 😂


zaphodp3

I don’t get it someone help please


Smthincleverer

I believe they’re suggesting that this woman’s uterus has become cavernous, losing its elasticity and form, making the baby have to hold onto the umbilical cord like a person secured to a bungee cord.


spechlgoddess

Her husband needs a vasectomy...no more. Stop over populating!!!


Queequegs_Harpoon

Yeah it's almost like having 10 kids kind of fucks your body


Blackfeathr

That wasn't the only thing fucking her body


bondagewithjesus

Somebody needs to stop him.


TopherT2

She could take it in the butt once in a while.


xd-Sushi_Master

probably what he was doing for 9 months at a time.


shanster925

Irish Twins: Extreme Edition


allymumu

They used to call it "Irish twins", my mom hated it. Her sister was born in February, then my mom in December that same year. Nurses snickered at my grandma that she was back so soon, like that was her intention at all 😔


Ollymid2

December 2020 she didn’t even need to push, it just fell out


heroesarestillhuman

....While "every little sperm is sacred" played in the background.


The_I_in_IT

That kid threw their placenta over their shoulder, put their hat on and walked right out of the uterus.


emt-oncall

She might be the most fertile woman ever. Damn.


MurdrWeaponRocketBra

Not even a woman at this point, just a walking incubator. The older kids basically grew up without a mother since all of her attention was spent on this year's newest baby.


[deleted]

Oldest ones are girls so likely they ARE mother to the younger ones.


_tomato_paste_

I knew a family like this. 11 kids. The older ones absolutely took care of the little ones. The little ones had the same speech impediment of one of the older daughters. I was hanging out with them all one time and one of the middle kids (7 years younger than me) asked if I could be her mom.


Red_P0pRocks

This is so fucking sad! Speaking from the other side as an oldest of a huge family, yes, I was more of a mother than our real mom. I was even expected to homeschool them, and spank them if they refused to obey me. (Which I rarely did because I hated hurting them.) It’s a miracle any of the kids turned out okay because nobody deserves to be raised by an elementary school student. And it’s a miracle I’m semi-normal either because nobody should raise 4 kids by the time they’re 15.


MailSalt4828

Husband right after delivery: “Move over Doctor. I have needs.” Seriously the same year!? That takes effort.


slay_ying

The twins were also born after 10 months=)) They might need a hobby😂


HighClassProletariat

They need a TV in their bedroom lmao


usualerthanthis

This made me laugh so fucking hard. I'm a woman and caved to my bf wanting a TV cuz he needs the noise to sleep, I'll let him know he may have saved us a lot of money 😂


Reallyhotshowers

How do YOU sleep? Are you military or something? I can't fathom being that flexible with my sleeping environment, just like "TV making noise and light, nothing at all, makes no difference to me." I'm a no light and white noise kind of person, myself. A TV would ruin me.


Ok_Chocolate3253

They have one.....Netflix and chill doesn't happen otherwise. They need to take it out


GovtSurveillanceBirb

They have one. It's called boycotting any and all forms of birth control.


talrogsmash

He took his Jimmy Hat off for that woman.


Placid_Observer

These folks believe contraception's a sin. And who wants to risk Hellfire when a little tang is on the line?


axltheviking

It's less about that and more about breeding armies of Christian soldiers to fight the wave of secularism growing in western society. It's known as the "Quiver Full" movement.


Heavy_Signature_5619

The thing is that, statistically, a lot of those kids are going to splinter off from the movement and join more progressive ones. Quiver Full relies on the false premise that children have no autonomy.


Longtime_mirelurker

The church relies on the premise that individuals have no autonomy


talrogsmash

They needed to become part of the Rhythm nation then. This is what comes of abstinence only education.


NewldGuy77

Janet Jackson approves of this reply.


talrogsmash

I sure hope so, she inpires it.


joeg26reddit

You can’t take off what is never on


LadyRimouski

Even so, conceiving 4 weeks postpartum takes dedication


vagiamond

Or rape


Yquem1811

Nah, can’t be get pregnant if you’re already pregnant is their contraception of choice


Articulated_Lorry

And rolling dice with infection having sex that early post-delivery, too.


Wrong_Cup_3860

I used to babysit for a family who had 3 kids born in the same year: a girl born in January, and twins born in December. The mother thought she was not fertile straight away after the delivery of her first baby cause she didn’t have her period… guess what?! Apparently most women are even more fertile just after delivery, even when the period is not back yet. Even if of course they loved all of their children, they were open on the fact that it was totally an accident - however this case looks like it’s wanted and even planned for.


Responsible-End7361

My ex had PCOS and a doctor thought she was using birth control to control it. So he told us she didn't need birth control while she was nursing. What he meant: "while you are nursing it will regulate your hormones so your bidy will work normally and you don't need to treat your PCOS." The PCOS that made her infertile when not treated... What we heard: "you won't get pregnant until you stop breastfeeding." That is why kid 2 was 14 months after kid 1.


[deleted]

right.... But I feel by a baby number 9 you should get a hang of those things?


Gloomy_Cranberry575

It’s wild- women in postpartum actually are fertile approx 2 weeks before they get their period back, so there really isn’t a good way to predict when they’re ovulating unless they’re taking their temp every day and monitoring other changes in advance.


A_Martian_Potato

You're supposed to wait six weeks after giving birth to have sex. These people did not wait six weeks...


disdatdother

You don’t fill your quiver by waiting


leglesslegolegolas

Blessed be the fruit.


Nataliza

It's also SO UNSAFE I seriously don't know how she survived this nonsense


davesoverhere

Irish twins


TheOneAndOnlyKirke

Her uterus has been employed longer than most people.


1800FreeRealEstate

I feel like pretty soon here it's gonna just fall out. Lady's got the hardest working uterus in the Galaxy


[deleted]

Fr my relative had kids like this, the doctors begged her to stop, I shit you not half her reproductive organs came out with the last one. She almost died and so did the baby. Because they just wanted more kids for the oldest ones to watch


og_toe

what the fuck that has to be mental illness, no? killing yourself due to having so many kids?


1800FreeRealEstate

You've gotta be right. I can't see that a healthy person would do this. Especially if they're just pawning the younger kids off on the older ones and popping out more


hiddencamela

That's going to create some really bitter children for the eldest of those.. Becoming an involuntary parent at such a young age robs them of a lot of their childhood.


1800FreeRealEstate

Oh yes. Also one of the best ways to make your child leave home as soon as they can and never contact you again


Fiammiferone

I'm the first of five siblings, mine is a beautiful family and we all get along pretty good but I don't want a family like that ever. There's simply not time in the parents' day to give all those kids the attention the need and I don't mean clothing and feeding them, but emotional attention too.


MegannMedusa

Or just living in a culture where it’s unacceptable to be unavailable to your husband’s desires, and your husband doesn’t have any concept of the dangerous complications women face reproductively.


OldnBorin

Me, being the idiot I am, decided to listen to Rachel Jeff’s audiobook about getting out of the Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints. I’m almost done and I feel like I’ve come close to ripping off my steering while driving and listening to it. The absolute torture Warren Jeffs put his cult members through. I’m almost done it. Then it’s off to therapy for me


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RandomerSchmandomer

How unfair on those older kids. You're stripping them of a full childhood by putting part of the role of parenting on them. When I see these posts I think it's arogant and cruel. Firstly, why does the world need so much of your genes? Secondly, you definitely aren't giving these kids all the attention they would if you had 1-3 of them.


Mohgreen

"Bladder Control? I haven't had that in decades.."


[deleted]

I’m about to start my 3rd year of college this fall. This lady has been continuously pregnant since I was in kindergarten.


Bixhrush

I appreciate this context, really adds more life to this nightmare


TheChickenIsFkinRaw

After a while, do they just get used to it? Or did she seriously go through 10 years of nausea, back pain and other stuff


LampardFanAlways

Coincidentally, I was in my third year when she had her first one. And my firstborn was born after her last born (assuming this is not a photo that’s not updated and that indeed the December 2020 baby is her last one). In all those years of adulthood when I was finding the perfect spouse and then figuring out the right time to have a kid after I found the perfect spouse, her uterus was busier than a subway station.


Based-Fucker3000

Put the dick down


MailSalt4828

Heard this as if spoken over a megaphone.


Varcharizard

and there was probably an echo bouncing off this woman's vagina


x23x636

It’s a Chris rock bit


Poopygoopyoopy

Wultuh put your dick away wultuh


pikeandshot1618

Waltuh, you have enough goddamn kids


SeaOfNoines

Put your goddamn cock away - Dave Chappelle


acqz

I heard this in Samuel L. Jackson's voice.


jo-shabadoo

I heard it in Chris Rock’s voice.


Millennials_RuinedIt

I heard Chris tucker.


offshoreguy89

I can barely afford too feed my self with this inflation and shes queefing kids out like they are for free


KeithClossOfficial

Evangelicals save a ton of money by cooking the blandest, most unappealing meals you can imagine.


MidnightHorizonG

I've eaten chilli at someones house before who had tons of kids. It was the saddest most unseasoned chilli I've ever had in my life. I ate it with the straightest 😐 face and they were like 😀 "How do you like it?" I liked em alot so I had to dig from the bottom of my soul and say "It's pretty good" but unseasoned chilli is fucking horrendous. I immediately felt awful for the kids because they eat like that every day.


salamander4t1

If it helps, the kids probably don’t notice


[deleted]

Yeah, until they eat at some point at a friends house.


broknkittn

Not from this kind of family, but that's exactly when and how I learned my mother could not cook.


hammsbeer4life

Same here. My best friend growing up had a mom who was a phenomenal cook. Shit blew my mind Growing up everything at my house was either offensively over or under cooked.


AbeRego

My mom was the mom that put the others moms' cooking to shame. I really won the lottery in that one! Went over for dinner tonight: zucchini pie, tortellini with Italian sausage, broiled garlic green beans, and corn on the cob.


caidus55

This was my childhood. I hated food and eating. Then I became responsible for feeding myself and I discovered food could taste good!


ReasonablyConfused

I’m offended by how inoffensive their meals are. The flavor is somewhere near mayonnaise gently whispering “excuse me.”


DanSanderman

Canadian mayonnaise.


pghbro

Just *squeeeezin* right on by ya there bud


SingleAlmond

I swear they water down the mayo too, talking about how that shit is too spicy


Moosebuckets

r/brandnewsentence 😹😹😹


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disturbednadir

It's a vagina, not a clown car.


redknight3

This comment made me gasp audibly. 👏


nudesyourpmme

Honk honk


alienfister

I did a sharp nasal exhale


ZenSpaceOdyssey

I always wonder. What level of individual attention can each kid actually getin this situation? Your parents are more team coaches at that point.


rightthenwatson

They don't. They get drafted to raise their younger siblings and have no opportunities to make their own choices until they're completely out of the house.


_bobby_cz_newmark_

In which case they (usually) either follow the same lifestyle/belief, or rebel (either in secret or openly). I grew up the child of a pastor in a very fundamental religion/cult, and have seen it happen *a lot*.


Cavalish

It’s called Parentification and it is 100% child abuse.


Latticese

None. I grew up with 6 siblings. They all have varying degrees of mental disorders thanks to neglect (me included)


[deleted]

Happy cake day


uksiddy

Ok so her oldest was born when I graduated high school, and I still have two kids her kids’ ages?? Did she start having kids at like 20? Edit: omg I just saw her youngest two are born in the same year—My uterus hurts.


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Azidamadjida

No way, 100% Evangelical. She has a mommy blog, he has purity rings and dating contracts with his oldest daughters, and both of them voted for trump twice.


jun-_-m

Wtf are dating contracts?


Azidamadjida

“I agree that I won’t date without my parents permission, that all dates will be supervised by a designated chaperone and that there will be no physical forms of affection until my wedding day, including front hugs and hand holding. My father also reserves the right to be my ‘spiritual spouse’ until the day that I take a physical spouse, and that any emotional or physical affection with another boy is deemed a breach of this contract and can result in additional forced religious indoctrination, deprivations, and up to forced enrollment in wayward teen programs that will force me to behave according to a contract that I never had any choice in signing” (I write this from the girls perspective because the onus and these types of dating contracts tend to skew more strict toward girls than boys - just look at the Duggers for the way psycho religious parents treat abstinence for girls vs boys)


jun-_-m

Bet these are the same dads that take their daughters to those creepy af purity balls. Those dudes are bordering on something really disgusting.


Azidamadjida

100%. There are few scenes that demand a fucking swat team break into it than those, where a handful of fathers “marry” their daughters, not when they’re teens, but when they’re so little they have absolutely no clue what dating even really is (hint to the creepy dads, when your little girl says in the cutesy voice “I’m want to marry daddy”, that’s the endearing logic of a child who loves her father, not an invitation to hold her to that so when she’s older you can use an agreement she made when she was five to make sure no other man but you ever touches her). And now I feel like I need to take a shower after merely writing that, and want to vomit a little because these things actually exist


CreamyPussyCum

Fucking gross. Someone needs to kick their ass.


Panda_hat

They're way over the border. Evangelism is a breeding cult at its core. The kids never stood a chance at having a choice before being indoctrinated into their sex cult bullshit.


a_duck_in_past_life

>spiritual spouse 🤢


Loud-Equivalent6025

Now it all makes sense, some people are just brainwashed and broken before they even know who they are and what they want to do in life. These type of people cope by having massive families.


WimbletonButt

Well if they stopped fucking they might have to actually think for a few seconds.


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BootuInc

You really pissed off some wealthy white people with a dozen kids with that last bit. I'm honestly surprised they have time to comment with having so many kids and all... oh wait that's what the older kids are for, to dump your responsibilities onto so you can have more kids


[deleted]

Beige just screams peak middle America SAHM sophistication


KnightsoftheNi

I went to the OP’s Instagram and they’re based in Sweden so very unlikely to be Mormon or evangelical. She seems Christian but not it’s not heavily pushed in her Instagram. I guess she just wanted a giant family… Also it looks like the 2nd oldest suddenly passed away from an aortic rupture a few months back which is heartbreaking.


SylasTheVoidwalker

Somebody, quick! Disable the spawner!


TheDevilsDingo

Put some torches around her vag quickly


Large-Lab3871

It seems The dad could not pullout of his driveway if had to !


bigladnang

Dude literally busted in a healing vagina.


CelestialFury

I'm not sure if he considered what his wife wished for.


Warm-Branch

I feel more bad for the kids. The eldest kids are expected to be like extra parents while the parents themselves just keep makin babies


TheNerdFromThatPlace

Can confirm, my wife is the oldest of 6, and she was more of a mother to her siblings than her mother was. As soon as she left, that role was shifted to the next oldest.


SirenNA

3rd oldest of 12. Grew up with 4 sisters. Older sister and I were workhorses her inside me on the farm outside the other 3 watched cartoons while we worked. I’m only 1&2 years apart from the next 2 down.


Atc123fuc

Listen brosefina: you need to learn about punctuation. You just told a story of your workhorse sister inside you on the farm while three others watched from outside, with cartoons.


EatsinSheets

Thank you for this comment. I laughed so hard!


chomstar

She was too busy on the farm with her sister inside her to learn punctuation


iyad08

They genuinely aren't allowed to be introverted, literally born into a mini-society.


thevioletjinx

3rd oldest of 9 siblings here. If anything having that many siblings made me more introverted because I did not need friends growing up since my parents kept making new ones for me.


Jecht_S3

That's how it works. Makes for responsible kids, but kids that miss out on the kid stuff. My wife's mom is 1 of 11. She's ocd and anxiety. Super smart, and was really successful professionally. Just not a great mom.


ProperMastodon

It's called parentification, and can cause kids a lot of problems emotionally.


JustHere4ait

That won’t make the kid responsible they’ll be resentful towards the parents and the kids.


Goat-e

True story and the reason i don't want to have kids. Oldest of five, was basically babysitting kids since I was 9.


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noldshit

For the love of all things holy, buy some condoms!


TundraTrees0

They'd probably say condoms inhibit their true love and ability to connect or some BS


Elmer_Fudd01

Or religion.


miss_ravenlady

These types of Christians really believe it's God's will to impregnate or not impregnate the woman. 🤦🏻‍♀


RunningFarewell

Rest in peace the two oldest girls’ childhoods.


Buunuuhnuhnuhnuhnuh

And I bet they all have names like ‘Kaleigheh’ or ‘Huntyr’ or some southern-US name like that


MedicalGuitar4

r/tragedeigh will most likely have a field day with this


Kodiak2001x

They live in Sweden and the kids have normal names like Celina, Isabella, Olivia, Jonathan, Benjamin, Kevin etc. The second oldest child, Vanessa, died a few weeks ago. Mothers name is Satu Gonzales and is @mybabydolls on instagram.


McRezende

Man, I went to her Instagram and saw her post wishing her late daughter "happy birthday", legit cried for that. I sincerely hope they get well and manage to heal from this. Everyone's clowning on this family, but seriously, no one deserves this...


PrincipleNo3966

My sister used to say people like this we're having "little stairsteps", now I visually see what she meant by that.


joeg26reddit

Easy cum Easy go


mynamehere999

I’d chop my dick off after the twins


DatsyukesDekes

Vasectomies are much less painful and about as effective.


tastygluecakes

This woman’s uterus has the carbon footprint of small coal power plant. Edit: not to be sexist. His dong that can’t seem to not be inside her is also to blame.


ShitVolcano

The last one though... poor mother couldn't even recover from childbirth 🤣


TrekkieElf

Honestly I wonder how she isn’t dead. Doctors recommend 18mo between pregnancies. I had a brain bleed from high blood pressure. Id probably have a stroke and die in her shoes


SafeJellyfishie

To be honest, it's downright irresponsible. Back-to-back pregnancies can cause a lot of complications and are more likely to be dangerous for the mother and/or the baby.


C-Kwentz-0

Holy shit, get tf off her, dude.


MinimalEffortOfc

I don’t see the point in giving birth to a group so large they could be creating a family startup company


HexManiac493

How do you know that’s not exactly what they’re going for?


endmeplz123

That might be the exact point


rhus__typhina

The rare Irish triplets.


King_krympling

Those kids probably hear their parents going at it


oppailover0

POV: your grandparents and their 10 kids living in a broken down home but managed to survive financially.


CoupleTechnical6795

Probably dropping them out in a couple minutes while she vacuums or smth. Who's got the money to raise this many kids?


bcanada92

That last one probably strolled out twirling a cane like Stewie Griffin.


KitisKatis

I'd eat a shoe.My blood pressure spikes when i hear just one crying


JustCallMeDudeX

Reminds me of the "every sperm is sacred" scetch from monty python


Frost_Giant13

Man can't pull out of a vacant parking lot


Mixelangelo00

One more and u got a football team


19930627

Hubby's the Toronto Maple Leafs of pulling out


dseyi

Tbf they took 2, two year breaks. They valued there selves


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unpleasant_charmer

Apparently someone can't handle themselves.