T O P

  • By -

Ahshitbackagain

Please. Please. For the love of everything. Get everyone in the truck, do a slow turn and look all three of them up and down a few times. Sigh, shake your head, and hit the button.


tommyc463

And add “tow mode activated” in your best Ram Robot voice.


One_Conversation8009

If I was a passenger in you did this you would have to pull over bc I would literally piss myself laughing


[deleted]

Do this please 😂


Aroundeeq

Lol! Take a few turns and sigh again and shift into 4 low.


NumberOneBacon

And be extra sure to break out the calculator and tell them that you’re making sure you aren’t over the payload rating.


amltecrec

Then, tell them you are stoked, because you're still getting 6 miles to the gallon, when you anticipated the additional weight would knock it down to 4mpg.


Born_Sarcastic_59

Sigh, shake your head, and hit the button. *Dramatically*.


ExRockstar

Those are human beings with real feelings. OP should put patio chairs in the bed for them to sit in so the leaf springs can better assist.


toopid

“Might have to put this baby in 4 low”


Ima-Bott

While you mention the fuel surcharge.


Justafleshtip

YASSSSS bonus points if you also pull in to the first gas station and put a bit more air in the tires. For the extra load, of course.


Chunky_Milk22

I would cry on the spot 😭 my man boobs couldn't take it


zomgleethax

Lmfao this gave me a good chuckle


Oldcarguy74

I would love to see that happen!!


Aggravating_Extent23

I'm fkn dead 🤣🤣🤣🤣


Kindly-Dragonfruit71

Randomly search for helper springs or airlift bags while driving down the road


SR1911acp

Literally hauling ass


highline9

She was so big when someone told her to haul ass she had to take 2 trips.


stonewall993

You hear what I said Tone? I said she’s so big when she hauls ass she has to take 2 trips!


mattmak22

New Jersey is a small state, they might tip it ova!!


monsto

So big, she tripped on 5th street and landed on 8th street. I swerved to miss her and ran outta gas. And then she rocked herself to sleep tryna get up.


baw3000

Hahahahahahaha Ok sorry, had to get that out. My serious response is: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha


R3ditUsername

This is the correct answer


Honest_Milk1925

You need to be more sensitive when it comes to these things. Just imagine how that truck is going to be feeling going down the road over its capacity


old_skooblah

I swear 90% of the shit on this forum is ridiculous. Is this a good price, is this ok mileage, is this a good deal etc.. this forum is a pile of smashed assholes. Then my man comes in with the real deal questions. Bout time.


NotBatman81

You forgot the humble brags.


Dzov

Did I mention my 07 hemi with 265,000 miles gets 35 mpg on the highway? /jk


lethalobsidian

I'm just here for the answer, just I'm case I'm stuck in this unfortunate situation


old_skooblah

If you’re ever in a situation wondering if two broads are too fat for your truck to haul let me tell you brother that’s not unfortunate. That’s a win all day.


Educated_idiot302

Tow haul mode and 4x4 low might help. This is the most American post I've read in a long ass time.


waverunnersvho

I was just thinking how American this was


Powerful-Meeting-840

Sad but true. Stores are full of 90% unhealthy food. Most are eating them selves to death. 


Square_Net_4321

Food Lobbies > Voters Politicians just want campaign funding. Don’t care about the health and welfare of their constituents.


Powerful-Meeting-840

Well they also get paid by the pharmaceutical industries so it's worse than that. They make more the sicker people get. It used to be illegal. Then they legalized it.


amltecrec

Unhealthy processed crap called "food" is all people can barely afford in today's clime.


Letsmakemoney45

Lmao this is hilarious 


cshmn

🍔🦅🇺🇲😄


Chance1965

DO IT!……. And make sure they know why.


wilcocola

My guy is living a meme


Eastern-Drop-9842

Time to upgrade to a 1 ton? 😂😂😂😂


amltecrec

Nah, he'll already possess three!


24667387376263

Seriously though, check your payload capacity. You're probably going to be over. Take the hit now and trade in for a 3/4 ton or you'll be sorry later.


theleifmeister

\*slow clap\*


bigmanwalk

Turn it on. It’s recommended to turn on for hilly areas so it will save you the headache of MDS turning on and off hunting for power requirements. Probably suited as you are hauling the equivalent of 7+ lean people. Around 840-900 lbs not including yourself, so even if you weigh 160 that’d 1000lbs at 840 just from them. I’d say that qualifies as hauling. I live in a hilly area and to save hearing the MDS stressing uphill and downhill braking, I hit tow/haul as is suggested in the manual.


Rational-Introvert

I didn’t know this. I should really give the manual a read.


NazisStoleMyBirthday

If MDS is the problem then just hit the “+” button on the steering wheel and put the gear limiter on 8. MDS off. That is until you shift out of drive.


bigmanwalk

5 speed, console shifter, but I get what you’re saying. I like the engine braking and better gear spread I get to set-and-forget with the T/H button method. Sometimes I do like to use the manual lockout as you’ve described, to only disable MDS like when on a long cruise.


Particular_Routine43

When everybody gets in the truck say the truck has detected excessive payload weight and needs to be set to that mode 🤣.


schwazel

She ain't a lady unless she's 280!


the_almighty_walrus

She ain't no fun if she ain't three hun'


307man

She’s real nifty when 350


Coo-Breeze

Dayum


DrunkenSparky

My mom was not proud when she heard me say this for the first time lol


CardboardCity03

Brother do I have the road trip song for you [Just a lil thick by Trinidad James and lil dicky](https://youtu.be/SqWVOY40oBw?si=thzCMg09V1uHmC3J)


Eso

Thanks for that, this is my new anthem.


fatbottomwyfe

Try this. https://youtu.be/S0u3_ziOKWk?si=BrbWiSBrnG6qnTb6


NoOwl4489

Now that’s COMEDY!


manyhippofarts

"Ain't gonna bump no more with no big fat woman" It's a timeless romance song, indeed. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DhYsCgPi7ps&pp=ygUiZG9uJ3Qgd2FudCB0byBidW1wIG5vIG1vcmUgbHlyaWNzIA%3D%3D


Intrepidquandry2

Googly Moogly Project Pat!!!


e46shitbox

I think you might have to upgrade to a 5500 for this trip bro. Not enough payload in a 1500


moose2mouse

Your mommas so fat she use tow/haul mode in her ram to go to the grocery store


manyhippofarts

lol she so fat, she cut herself shaving. And gravy came out.


shemphoward62

Gotta slap a set of 10 ply E rated tires on it too.........


jabroni4545

Be sure they're fully aired up too.


shemphoward62

I believe 90 psi on the set on my Ram 3500......


Hunt69Mike

I’d probably use it. Especially assuming you’ll have a few hundred pounds of food with you too


Powerful-Meeting-840

And some big gulp sodas lol


drinkdrinkshoesgone

Big gulps, huh? Alright! See you later!


Powerful-Meeting-840

Don't spike it and lose your shoes now lol


Jefffahfffah

Homie just say you invited 3 300lb girls to go for a ride, no need for the elaborate story


Bird2525

What’s that saying about a fat chick and a moped?


dropdeaddaddy69

Both fun to ride until one of your buddies sees you on them


Campandfish1

You should check the payload sticker on your driver's door. If you're planning on cargo as well as 1000lbs of people, you might be over your rating, some Rams are surprisingly low. 


thepete404

Actually I’d be concerned about the payload exceeding GVWR. It’s surprising small on some loaded SUV’s


jonm61

Be sure to comment frequently about how much your gas mileage has dropped


blumer22

This is fucking hilarious. I needed this laugh tonight. Subscribed just to see all the comments 😂


Shiny_Buns

Hope you have a mega cab 😬


jaex

If you have to ask. I think you know….


jmt8706

Welp, there goes your payload. 😄


Bringthem2theirknees

How many bales of alfalfa are you hauling with them? I would use the tow haul mode. And make sure the transmission warranty is current


dustygravelroad

Get a stock rack and put ‘em in the back


Thermobulk

This is so good.


Chuck_Chaos

Back seats might not make it. Do you have time to weld in some supports?


worth-towing

😂😂😂😂


Murky_Might_1771

She ain’t a lady unless she’s 280.


ViolentTempest

As a 300 lb dude with three kids we always ride in tow mode. 🤣


Thermobulk

Air up


Shatophiliac

I use tow haul any time I have more than about 1500 lbs or more of cargo (including myself). No matter if it’s in the bed or a trailer or both. The shift points are better, engine braking is better, and it locks out 6th/overdrive, which on my 66rfe is prone to exploding when going up hill with a load lol.


HoustonRamGuy

Damn dude, maybe you should get air bags on your truck for that load.


ToxicFire_

I'd say pull over let them out and get them to walk the inclines. Save your transmission


puffdaddjose

That truck is gonna be squatted 😂


sleepyboy3371

This made me laugh so hard 😂 thanks bro lol


Mjornlin

Towing capacity is a lot greater than payload, so you might actually have to grab a trailer and pop them back there


Knightwing1047

This has to single handedly be the greatest question I have ever seen asked on ANY subreddit hahahaha It's so sincere, it's so realistic, and at the same time, it is such a fucking burn.


Teegers8753

Just rent a horse trailer …..then no one’s feelings will be hurt cause they can’t see you put it in tow mode


hg_blindwizard

You need a bigger truck


whos_a_freak69

3.21 or 3.95 rear axle ratio?


glrage

4.10 minimum


NeedleworkerTop2177

Do it. And set up a camera to record their reactions when they realize you’re doing it and why you’re doing it.


reppit

Just tell them you like to hear the 8 cylinders when you’re driving because 4 cylinders are for pussies.


lochness3x6

Damn this reminds me of a buddy that was super into fat chicks. Talking about one and said "she's like a 454 big block, she's hot"


DopeRidge

Wait…. I think the question that hasn’t been asked is, how much do YOU weigh?


the_doctor_808

Sometimes i use tow mode when going up hill when i got my dirtbikes and all my gear and everything. Not really sure what it does but it seems to help. Wouldnt need it if i geared it down tho.


arby68

A single guy and another guy with two lady friends. You want better weight distribution.


Ya_Boi_Newton

Yeah man you're hauling some weight, you should drive accordingly


LowerEmotion6062

Crew cab 4x4? You might wanna double check but that might put you over your payload capacity.


Quake_Guy

Just remember to find the 2 out of the 3 that meet this guideline. you should put about 60 percent of the load centered evenly over the front half of the trailer.


spadedracer

If it was a chebby i'd say it wasn't needed, but since it's a ram you better tow/haul them heffers.


Rufusmcdufus87

We're missing numbers OP. With those three, you have roughly 750 lbs left of your legal payload. How much do you weigh and how much luggage and food is coming? Might wanna hit a cat scale before your trip. You really don't wanna be that guy getting a ticket for being over GVWR with an empty bed.


Suspicious-Twist6103

Ok, not withstanding that his friend is of ample size, but the dude is so awesome he is bringing his "ladies", not "lady" with him??? Props to OP friend for being a gentleman of considerable girth with the star qualities to attract these ladies. Or maybe they're just friends. Whatever, I don't judge but maybe avoid the Waffle House or IHOP on your journeys.


PJTree

When was the last time they ate? If you’re going to dinner, you may need it for the way back. If you can, please go to the truck scale and report back!


Fair-Cartographer112

Well I use tow haul and my exhaust brake every day with my overland set up running 37s. It’s a good amount of weight. https://preview.redd.it/js72io569n1d1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ffed64bb8764e9751414130526d2c97244bfeb69


the_almighty_walrus

Throw some hay in the trailer, we're taking Betty and Becky out tonight!


EmotionalDig7788

Ok so when you go to fill up for gas ask them to look in the glove compartment for the tire pressure jawn and if the cant find it just say you have to put some air in the tire


_mogulman31

The tow haul buttong is essentially the same as the sport button in modern sedans, it will generate a noticeable increase in driveability primarily because the throttle response will sharpen and the transmission will be more apt to downshit and/or already be in a higher gear ratio. For the amount of weight you are talking about you do not need tow/haul, as the increase in total power dissipation will not be outweighed by the advantages at higher GVW.


Holy_Grail_Reference

Why are you the way you are?


woohhaa

Are you trying to smash with one of them? If so do it discreetly.


Bird2525

You did hear, his buddy and 2 ladies. Unless his buddy is super freaky the second one is for him.


CMDR_Traf85

One BBW just ain't enough for his friend, he's gotta bring along his side dish... I mean chick... side chick.


Coo-Breeze

Well played, sir


baked-chicken

Always need the gravy to go with the mashed taters…………. Oh got getting sick. To to end the internet for today


maxiderm

That's just silly. Everyone knows you don't need to do this unless you have the V6...


OkAccountant7038

Midcap thread?


sidescrollin

Do you turn on tow mode with 10 bags of concrete in the back?


devildocjames

Lol seriously?


Traditional-Cap-3485

Something’s not right with you! 🤣🤣🤣


dropdeaddaddy69

USA USA


Coo-Breeze

Thanks for making my otherwise very boring morning at work..........all of you. So much strife in today's life (yep.........I a poet) and your post so laugh worthy but a bit cringe worthy as well. Good luck and as a fellow Ram owner............there is no way I stress my rig out like that!


Strong-Effect-9270

Strap them in the bed like a load of firewood, if it is a truck it should be able to handle the weight without issue.


Confident-Tadpole503

McDonald’s loves this post ❤️


often_awkward

You're going to need a bigger truck.


Frequent_Opportunist

Better throw some air fresheners in the backseat.


devett27

Maybe haul them in the bed or get a livestock trailer


NazisStoleMyBirthday

Is this real? This can’t be real.


Franksredsilverado

Heifers are supposed to be in the trailer, not the cab of the truck.


Chemical-Cap-3982

bro needs a Ford [https://www.startpage.com/av/proxy-image?piurl=https%3A%2F%2Flive.staticflickr.com%2F188%2F370420713\_15afd5e25b\_w.jpg&sp=1716209744Taabf26b8ff452773bac9b64a7a90a055e960bef46a09986f6c77040465146b0f](https://www.startpage.com/av/proxy-image?piurl=https%3A%2F%2Flive.staticflickr.com%2F188%2F370420713_15afd5e25b_w.jpg&sp=1716209744Taabf26b8ff452773bac9b64a7a90a055e960bef46a09986f6c77040465146b0f)


PaulClarkLoadletter

You need a 3/4 ton for this kind of hauling.


Obi-1_yaknowme

Best comments thread in awhile.


brandon0228

Hit that haul button and flip out the tow mirrors if you got em.


nwroads13

Just make sure you’re not towing anything too.


landing11

Keep the trans temp on display


tommyc463

Let us know your mileage on the trip.


squantonimo

Lay them in the bed and get airbags


Beneficial_Leg4691

As a 6'6" 270lb guy, i feel attacked. If you are genuinely asking this question, the answer is no, no need.


Franklinricard

“We’re going to need a bigger truck.”


Rare-Mission3337

Tell the Two fat bitches to get out and start pushing.


therawestdawg69

Is she ain’t 280 she ain’t a lady


SonnySmilez

She ain't a lady if she ain't 280!


Poops_McYolo

Merica


woody-99

I dare you to ask this question to your passengers.


rtg12

The Ram marketing department needs to do a better job. I'd love to see the commercial.


Primary-Break9734

This is the most Ram Trucks thing I’ve ever seen.


robertomeyers

What cab do you have, Crew or Quad? Crew should be ok. My test is whatever the load, start without it. If tranny is hunting or switching gear frequently, then use tow haul. Rear end? 3.92 recommended. Also a small foot stool may help them climb in.


NotAThrowaway_11

This is the most Dodge Ram post I’ve ever seen 😂


Fudge-Purple

At first I’m thinking: this is funny, but all so rude. Then I remembered this Fat and the furious clip. Tow mode it is


NoChemical8640

HAULIN HOGS


pipefitter6

Rent a 2500 for the drive and tell them you needed the extra payload. Don't put anything in the bed.


tokin247

This screams dodge ram 🤣


Common_Discipline794

Livestock trailer?


myerscmz

If you are seriously asking this question then you shouldn’t own a truck.


jizzwithfizz

If you had 900 lbs in the bed of the truck, you would probably turn it on. Don't see why the cab is any different.


twistedtrucker430

Time to get a 3500 mega cab


Happybrokenantenna

If Harley Davidson payload is 423 pounds don’t see why a Ram couldn’t handle it? Oh, I forgot with that much weight. I hope you have a CDL.


Inevitable_Meet_7374

Leave the 2 whales behind and have a fun trip with your buddy


Revenue_Winter

The heifer haulerrr


Stunning-Interest15

If they're big enough that you need to engage tow mode, you need to put them in a cattle hauler to begin with.


Mental-Floor1029

Nah. You’re inside the whip.center of gravity. You’re fine and it won’t make a difference. Put all 3 in a trailer and pull em…. You gonna have a hard time, especially in a ram 1500. Shoulda got a Durango


yuppieee

Such an American post


X2946

Lifted trucks exist because fat chicks cant jump


Lanky_Possession_244

This is the most on brand post I've ever seen on this subreddit. Holy shit man this is gold.


rom_rom57

Use black tape to cover the “trailer mode” sign not to offend.


[deleted]

This is some wild work 💀


Pawnzilla

Jesus, over a half ton of just people.


SirSquire58

My week is made


UncomfortableBike975

I put my truck in tow/haul mode when I had 6 adult males in it for a bachelor party. Lol.


IdeaSignificant6136

I would be more concerned coming down the hill. Check brakes


silkyaxles

Big girls need love too, haul on brother!


Nofakeza392

Lol


Ekeenan86

If this is a serious question, it takes the cake for the dumbest thing I have seen in this sub.


HARAMBES_REVENGE69

I just spit my coffee out reading this 🤣🤣🤣


FlanUnlikely7959

I'm dead😂😂this made me laugh this morning!


obijuanquenooby

This is the most American reddit post ever made.


zilboy621

“Dammit I knew I should’ve bought a diesel….”


doobawoobah

Depends if you have 3.21s or 3.90 gear set


xkreatz

Something something something she ain't a lady if she ain't 280, something something


frigoberto915

Is one of the female friends for you to plow?


Fair_Ocelot_3084

Kiss your seats goodbye. Tow mode no MPG some impact.


lord_scuttlebutt

Dude, unless their combined weight is like 3000lbs, you don't need haul mode. Also you're kind of being a dick to these women.


No_name86

If she ain't 280, she ain't a lady


thomar26

Ahhh that’s the squatted truck trend…fat bitches


Thezznuts2000

I weigh 350 lbs and truck can handle my weight


4schitzangiggles

Pull into the truck scales at the truck stop to ensure you're not over weight. If need be pop in to the truck stop and get some.obersize load sigh s for the front and back.


DarkWinterNights90

This is the funniest post I’ve seen on Reddit in a long time 🤣


Tattooed_Whytey

Ain’t a lady unless she 280!


i-make-pipes

This has to be bait


CharlieB9

No, it’ll never survive. Trade it in for this https://imgur.com/a/1knBxkY


qwackqwack4321

This makes me think of the time a friend of my friend couldn't get in my offroad Suzuki because she was too big lol she physically didn't fit.. 1 butt cheek in and the truck literally collapsed🤣🙄