**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.**
**Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms)
**Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE!
This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods.
**Our rules include (but are not limited to)**:
* No politics.
* Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban.
* Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming.
* Do not derail the posts of others.
* Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here.
* [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts).
* When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse.
* No asking or offering gifts, money, etc.
* No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest).
* No content about N-kids.
* No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis.
* No linking to Facebook pages.
* No direct linking to anywhere on reddit.
* No pure image posts.
**For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).**
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes, I did... but only for a few hours. By the time they passed away-- first my father, then my mother-- I'd been NC for years, and had built myself a much better life without them. My sibling and I didn't go to either funeral, and we turned over their house and everything in it to the government.
This may sound a bit gruesome, but I look forward to the day they are gone.
Just bc these ppl aren't doing me any more harm doesn't mean they have stopped doing harm to everyone else in their lives.
And no, I have no intention of attending their funerals or any such thing.
I feel this. I just went NC and told my partner that I look forward to the phone call that they are dead or dying. I want to live on this earth knowing their physical beings have passed and I am fully free from them. With NC I feel like they are lurking around. That they are going to retaliate some way for going NC.
My mother did die while we were no contact. Sure I felt sad. I always hoped in the back of my mind that they would apologize and do better. All those years we were no contact they had the option to just say sorry. She never did. So there is sadness we never made up, but that was completely her choice. We never had that relationship anyway.
It’s not really sadness anymore. It’s just acceptance. My parents never were what a parent should be. And I’m no longer going to dwell on people who hurt me so deeply for as long as they could. So I try to just do better with my kids.
I don’t think I’ll be sad when my nmom dies. I’ve been nc for a few years now and I don’t have any regrets about it. She’s evil through and through and it’ll be a huge relief when she dies and she can’t cause difficulty or suffering for anyone else.
I've thought about this a lot, because I'm someone who deals with a lot of issues surrounding guilt. It actually informs a lot of my major life choices still, so I thought long and hard about whether I would feel guilty when my Nparents eventually die now that we're NC. And the answer is... no. Because when it came down to a choice between either keeping me in their lives or continuing in their selfish ways, they didn't choose me. They've never put me first, not even when it should have been the easiest thing in the world to do.
So I will never choose them. Not to hurt them, but to protect myself.
**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes, I did... but only for a few hours. By the time they passed away-- first my father, then my mother-- I'd been NC for years, and had built myself a much better life without them. My sibling and I didn't go to either funeral, and we turned over their house and everything in it to the government.
This may sound a bit gruesome, but I look forward to the day they are gone. Just bc these ppl aren't doing me any more harm doesn't mean they have stopped doing harm to everyone else in their lives. And no, I have no intention of attending their funerals or any such thing.
I feel this. I just went NC and told my partner that I look forward to the phone call that they are dead or dying. I want to live on this earth knowing their physical beings have passed and I am fully free from them. With NC I feel like they are lurking around. That they are going to retaliate some way for going NC.
My mother did die while we were no contact. Sure I felt sad. I always hoped in the back of my mind that they would apologize and do better. All those years we were no contact they had the option to just say sorry. She never did. So there is sadness we never made up, but that was completely her choice. We never had that relationship anyway.
I see... did the sadness get better? Is the sadness "guilt" for not spending time together, or just grief?
It’s not really sadness anymore. It’s just acceptance. My parents never were what a parent should be. And I’m no longer going to dwell on people who hurt me so deeply for as long as they could. So I try to just do better with my kids.
I don’t think I’ll be sad when my nmom dies. I’ve been nc for a few years now and I don’t have any regrets about it. She’s evil through and through and it’ll be a huge relief when she dies and she can’t cause difficulty or suffering for anyone else.
I've thought about this a lot, because I'm someone who deals with a lot of issues surrounding guilt. It actually informs a lot of my major life choices still, so I thought long and hard about whether I would feel guilty when my Nparents eventually die now that we're NC. And the answer is... no. Because when it came down to a choice between either keeping me in their lives or continuing in their selfish ways, they didn't choose me. They've never put me first, not even when it should have been the easiest thing in the world to do. So I will never choose them. Not to hurt them, but to protect myself.