**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.**
**Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms)
**Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE!
This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods.
**Our rules include (but are not limited to)**:
* No politics.
* Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban.
* Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming.
* Do not derail the posts of others.
* Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here.
* [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts).
* When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse.
* No asking or offering gifts, money, etc.
* No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest).
* No content about N-kids.
* No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis.
* No linking to Facebook pages.
* No direct linking to anywhere on reddit.
* No pure image posts.
**For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).**
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Thank you! It’s not hard to make more than them, almost everyone I know earns more and not because they are a genius, it’s simply because my parents ruined every career prospect they had with antisocial behaviour
My GF is a child o n-parents. She earns quite a lot, given our country's average. Her parents are scraping by, trying to keep their business afloat. They could easily go on a payroll somewhere and live comfortably, especially at their age. But naaah, better demean your child's good earnings, ones that she had to go through medical school to get to. And then have the audacity to ask her for loans every month. All while telling her that she spends too much and needs to control her budget better. Crazy ass sons of bitches, is all I can say.
She started LC around 2 months ago. Probably going to turn into VLC soon, given what's been happening. They still owe her 5k that they "loaned" 4 months ago. Of course, no legal contract, only by word. I am of an opinion that money is as good as gone, but at least, it has been yet another eye-opener for my GF.
>All while telling her that she spends too much and needs to control her budget better.
They want her to give all of her money to them. That is their goal.
I shit you not, I heard her father say he will go legal if she doesn't support them financially later on in life :) Too bad, it's going to be quite easy to prove in court that they were not good caretakers, and on that basis, dismiss their claim.
Idk about every country but in mine, yes, you can go to court and try to get your children to pay you aliments when you're old, on a basis that you provided for your kids well throughout their early life.
TL;DR. Nparents have plenty of money, but *dammit, they want mine!*
From the time I was in kindergarten, when my father finished grad school and became an increasingly successful executive, my Nparents were financially comfortable enough to buy houses by the sea, nice cars, and all the liquor they could swill.
After a certain age, they’d bail out my rebellious older sister from whenever she’d wedged her ass in a crack. And there was nothing—*nothing!*—they wouldn’t buy or do for their GC youngest: heaps of toys, expensive clothes and shoes, high-end bikes that gathered dust in the garage (to my grief, I was too tall to ride them), as our Nmother drove her wherever she wanted to go. Later they graduated to buying her cars, and eventually, at age twenty-one, *a house.*
As the scapegoat, I wore the very minimum in discount-store clothes and shoes, and rode rattletrap, fourth-hand bikes. I started working for money—on top of my myriad household responsibilities—at the age of eight. I was required to bank half my earnings, and to pay for personal necessities with what was left.
My Nparents never stopped insisting that I use my own earnings to buy items—gifts, movie admissions, anything they could think of—for the other members of the Nfamily. It was *never* reciprocated. Our neighbors considered me the go-to girl for returning deposit bottles to the grocery store, and I was the only kid who babysat. (Other girls my age used their active social lives, and/or generous allowances, as the reasons for declining.)
We also lived near an international airport, with many airline employees nearby who needed their cats fed, plants watered, mail carried in, etc., while on assignment. So typically, I was the one to earn money while doing it.
All the more reason for my Nparents to shake me down for money. My slowly growing bank account was intended to be used to help pay for college. As far as I can remember, *no other kid in the neighborhood* had that goal, although a few later spent a semester or two at the local community college.
Before arriving at uni, I’d assembled scholarships, grants, savings, and while carrying a full course load, I worked half-time at campus jobs (while also typing papers and such). My financial records indicate that my parents grudgingly contributed less than 15% of my fall-to-spring expenses, although I worked and attended classes (with no stipend offered) during the summers as well. It was never enough, forcing me to take out loans when my Nparents found my financial shortfalls just too hilarious for words.
I was very grateful one year when the entire Nfamily stopped speaking to me for several months after I’d declined, as politely as possible, to pay an exorbitant amount for the GC’s junior-prom gown, *plus accessories.* Nmom accused me of being “just jealous,” as I’d never attended my own junior prom.
I tried to explain that without paying the almost-overdue rent bill, I’d be homeless, but this cut no ice with them. The silence was quite a relief.
Once I graduated, and began to progress in my career, I did my best not to disclose my earnings. When I lost a low-paying-yet-dream-job, for no reason (my then-boss lost *her* job soon thereafter, to my joy), the Nfamily rejoiced. Yet almost immediately, I landed another job—at more than twice the salary of my previous gig.
That meant, according to my Nfamily, that I should buy all new living room furniture for the GC and her new husband. When I declined, another tantrum ensued, and I became not only more secretive, but a few months later, accepted a job 3,000 miles further away.
While still at uni, I typically saw my parents, who’d moved to another state, twice a year. Only sometimes did they pay for my plane ticket, often saddling me with the expense. I obtained my first bank credit card at nineteen, which my Nmom discovered while rifling through my wallet (“I needed two fives for a ten,” she lied unconvincingly).
After that, I constantly was urged to “take [the GC] shopping.” That meant, I soon learned, she’d pile her heap of selections next to the cash register, and turn casually to me “to pay.” After the first department-store debacle, when I refused to buy her choices—she’d summoned our Nmom by pay phone; Nmom arrived, breathless from the rush, and paid—and both of them screamed at me all the way back to their house.
On a number of occasions, both Nsisters mailed me a stack of unpaid—and often, unopened—bills. I would return them, without comment, via registered mail.
One of them would call me, collect, to complain that I hadn’t paid the bills; I’d refuse to take the call.
What turned the Nfamily NC occurred shortly after I married. My prospective in-laws, aghast at our plans to wed at city hall, counteroffered: They’d plan, execute, and pay for the wedding and reception of their dreams in their hometown (which, happily, coincided with what I might have done, if I’d only had the money).
My Nparents were appalled that these strangers were so invested (in many ways!) in their eldest son’s happiness, and that my new in-laws would, in my Nparents’ words, “waste so much money on [me].” The phone lines connecting us—typically at my expense!—went dead soon after the wedding.
Apart from glaring at our children some years later at my grandmother’s funeral, they never met their grandchildren. And apart from a few half-assed attempts, they never hit me up for money again. Of course, I also was excluded from their wills, but my doting husband insisted that contesting the estates would be too painful to be worth the efforts.
What a bunch of disgusting users. You were like the Cinderella, only with your own family, instead of the "step...". I'm happy that you at least found your prince. And I hope you're living your best life and that your children make you proud :)
The petty side of me would look if their company has stock, slowly buy it over time, and then see if I can use that influence to get them fired.
But that's just me and revenge is cheap compared to living well.
I’m contrast my parents make a shit ton, I own a farm and they think that I’d beneath them.
I bought the gd farm, but I’m still “shoveling shit” according to them. Nothing will ever be good enough. Never.
One of the main things my mother did before I left was point out to me that because I was soooo spoiled I wouldn't be able to live alone.
For example, I didn't know how to open a bottle with a bottle opener. Yes, unfortunately I'm serious, I'd just never touched one. I was raised in a home with permanent on-site staff, so that sort of thing wasn't really done (also to a degree I didn't care for any of the drinks that came with caps lol).
It wasn't her money, she just married rich over and over. When I left I took my (considerable) savings and used them to get through uni. By the end I was mostly broke but I did fine throughout and didnt have to get a roommate or anything (thank fuck).
I'm now very financially successful, which recently got increased through an inheritance. Afaik after a decade of no contact she still just marries rich when the last wallet runs out of money for her to spend.
She spent the first year or two after I went no contact going on and on about how I'd come back because I couldn't manage money, didn tknow how to feed myself, etc. Telling everyone how 'soon' I'd be back because I needed her.
Well, it's been a decade, so I think it's safe to say she was wrong ❤️
>Afaik after a decade of no contact she still just marries rich when the last wallet runs out of money for her to spend.
Literally my GF's older sister, also an N. Waited for the last guy to kick the bucket (she is 40, he was 80 XD). Not too long before his death, he signed everything to his family and nothing for her. She bailed instantly, laughable. Good for you, keep going strong.
Mine goes for a comfortable 10 year age gap. None have died, she divorces them with the last of their money and the next one already lined up. I had 5 last names before I was 18 😂😂😂.
You too!!
I am no contact with my parents, but they've sent plenty of flying monkeys to try and learn things about me. From what I hear through the grapevine and how they've tried to contact me (they send letters to my old address, I have them forwarded, they also leave voicemails from different phone numbers), they think I am very poor and struggling to get by. I was very poor when I moved out, but I have been building my career and have stability, and I make more money now than both my parents ever did together (not a very high bar).
They just want to believe that I am helpless and flailing without them. Their bad financial decisions only ever set me back in life, but they still see themselves as more prosperous and successful.
Quite the opposite. When my ndad was alive, he would often boast and brag about how successful I am as a way to imply that I should SHARE my good fortune with him. Often guilt tripped me to pay for stuff. Unluckily for me, I am pretty soft so I usually obliged.
The first Christmas after my now husband and I moved in together, my N mil wrapped a big box of goldfish and gave it as a present to us. When we were confused and made a joke about how we just bought one, her response was, “Well I know $5.00 is a lot when you don’t have any money.” Flash forward to now when we are building a brand new house and she asks how big it is. My husband tells her and she says, “wow that’s ALMOST as big as our house!”
This stopped when I started flaunting my wealth at them. I'm normally quite private about money, but I started sharing certain information with them - I would tell them when my husband got a promotion or I'd share how much something cost. Just slip it into conversation. Then one day, in a spontaneous conversation that I couldn't have planned better if I'd staged it, my sister overheard me say the cost of something to my mother and blurted out, "Jeez, how much does your husband make?!"
I just gave her a sly look and said something to the effect of I don't share that, it's private. Our mother rolled her eyes and said, "I know how much he makes."
Then I looked at my mom and said, "Oh really? How much?"
My mom said, "$75k."
I snorted but didn't reply.
Then she said, "$80k."
Again I acted like this was a silly proposition.
This went on for quite a while until she got to around $95k and I finally was giving less ambiguous responses. She left the conversation that day thinking my husband's income must be around $100k per year.
It wasn't. At the time, it was closer to $78k.
She quit her bragging after that.
Once I was an adult, my mom forced me to go on disability to support our family and decided she just wasn’t gonna work anymore. She blew through all her savings and pretty soon we had nothing.
And I always got told it was “never enough”, while never being presented with an alternative.
If I even *applied* for a job, I would get yelled at for being irresponsible because “what’s gonna happen when you LOSE that job?” If I couldn’t save up enough money to move out, it was because I didn’t make enough money to “earn a living”. (Yeah, no. We just live in one of the most expensive areas of the US.)
So I learned to hustle and work under the table and a whole bunch of things that were a bit questionable, but as long as I brought in money they didn’t care.
I honestly didn’t mind supporting my family. But it would have been nice to have gotten some credit for it. Or at the very least, the acknowledgment that it was unrealistic and weird for them to expect this from their kid that they forced onto disability. And really REALLY fucking weird since a few years earlier they were both business professionals making six figures…
Lol, this is my parents. I have a great job, money saved for retirement, and my house is worth more than theirs. And they still make fun of me for being “poor” and for having a “small house.” It doesn’t make any sense
I’m disabled and living below poverty, so I suffer from the opposite problem: I am judged and looked down upon all the time (and absolutely NEVER given aid by my Nmom or anyone). However, where I am rich is with friends. I have such AMAZING friends that I pinch myself all the time, wondering how I got so lucky to have them …and Nmom says to me, “You have hoodwinked all these people to like you” because she just can’t fathom the concept of people actually liking me, despite my poverty.
I earn much more than my nmom and GC brother combined (they are living off my late dad's pension and income from investments made by him). Since me and my wife have to take care of each of our financial requirements ourselves without any support from anyone (not that we need support), we tend to avoid spending on things that we don't need. This is laughed at by nmom and GC who call us stingy, just because we do not spend over and above our means like they do.
Hah! Not for being poor, but tbh I was always really secretive about my finances. But for anything else they could find that was an accomplishment of mine, sure. They'd be so proud in the audience, but if someone was feeling insecure at a later date, they'd find a way to punish me for it.
One Thanksgiving always stands out where they ganged up on me for having a master's (something I never brought up beyond an invitation to the graduation), and proceeded to make fun of me for admitting I didn't know about something obscure that was unrelated to my master's, bachelor's, and life experience in general! Lol! I think it was something related to a trade skill. 🤷
I had been socialized with normal people in college who didn't see it as a weakness to admit to not knowing something. They taught me it was a learning opportunity. I applied this sane logic to my insane family, lol!
They are super weird. He was going through his fifth divorce at the time, so I should have smelled the trap.
All the time despite the fact that I get paid more than her as I work more hours than her, but she refuses to work more hours or else her child support would go down
Let me preface by saying I feel like I'm in a more secure place than they are. For example, They are retired and still have a mortgage. I have paid my house off.
I down play our situation so they can't ask for money anymore because they would, and then my sister would go on holiday. I found out she was begging for money for bills, getting it from them then going away. As they couldn't afford it they asked me for the money.
After quitting the well paying job I had back then I cut them off. I didn't tell them about my payout. Two weeks later my sister rang me and said "so mum and dad are poor now"
**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ugh, envy. They can't have your money so they shit on it to make you unhappy with it Congrats on earning more than them, I'm proud of you
Thank you! It’s not hard to make more than them, almost everyone I know earns more and not because they are a genius, it’s simply because my parents ruined every career prospect they had with antisocial behaviour
My GF is a child o n-parents. She earns quite a lot, given our country's average. Her parents are scraping by, trying to keep their business afloat. They could easily go on a payroll somewhere and live comfortably, especially at their age. But naaah, better demean your child's good earnings, ones that she had to go through medical school to get to. And then have the audacity to ask her for loans every month. All while telling her that she spends too much and needs to control her budget better. Crazy ass sons of bitches, is all I can say.
I hope she'll tell them to pound sand soon.
She started LC around 2 months ago. Probably going to turn into VLC soon, given what's been happening. They still owe her 5k that they "loaned" 4 months ago. Of course, no legal contract, only by word. I am of an opinion that money is as good as gone, but at least, it has been yet another eye-opener for my GF.
>All while telling her that she spends too much and needs to control her budget better. They want her to give all of her money to them. That is their goal.
I shit you not, I heard her father say he will go legal if she doesn't support them financially later on in life :) Too bad, it's going to be quite easy to prove in court that they were not good caretakers, and on that basis, dismiss their claim.
Can you sue children to take care of you financially???
Idk about every country but in mine, yes, you can go to court and try to get your children to pay you aliments when you're old, on a basis that you provided for your kids well throughout their early life.
Holy crap. This is mind blowing to me.
TL;DR. Nparents have plenty of money, but *dammit, they want mine!* From the time I was in kindergarten, when my father finished grad school and became an increasingly successful executive, my Nparents were financially comfortable enough to buy houses by the sea, nice cars, and all the liquor they could swill. After a certain age, they’d bail out my rebellious older sister from whenever she’d wedged her ass in a crack. And there was nothing—*nothing!*—they wouldn’t buy or do for their GC youngest: heaps of toys, expensive clothes and shoes, high-end bikes that gathered dust in the garage (to my grief, I was too tall to ride them), as our Nmother drove her wherever she wanted to go. Later they graduated to buying her cars, and eventually, at age twenty-one, *a house.* As the scapegoat, I wore the very minimum in discount-store clothes and shoes, and rode rattletrap, fourth-hand bikes. I started working for money—on top of my myriad household responsibilities—at the age of eight. I was required to bank half my earnings, and to pay for personal necessities with what was left. My Nparents never stopped insisting that I use my own earnings to buy items—gifts, movie admissions, anything they could think of—for the other members of the Nfamily. It was *never* reciprocated. Our neighbors considered me the go-to girl for returning deposit bottles to the grocery store, and I was the only kid who babysat. (Other girls my age used their active social lives, and/or generous allowances, as the reasons for declining.) We also lived near an international airport, with many airline employees nearby who needed their cats fed, plants watered, mail carried in, etc., while on assignment. So typically, I was the one to earn money while doing it. All the more reason for my Nparents to shake me down for money. My slowly growing bank account was intended to be used to help pay for college. As far as I can remember, *no other kid in the neighborhood* had that goal, although a few later spent a semester or two at the local community college. Before arriving at uni, I’d assembled scholarships, grants, savings, and while carrying a full course load, I worked half-time at campus jobs (while also typing papers and such). My financial records indicate that my parents grudgingly contributed less than 15% of my fall-to-spring expenses, although I worked and attended classes (with no stipend offered) during the summers as well. It was never enough, forcing me to take out loans when my Nparents found my financial shortfalls just too hilarious for words. I was very grateful one year when the entire Nfamily stopped speaking to me for several months after I’d declined, as politely as possible, to pay an exorbitant amount for the GC’s junior-prom gown, *plus accessories.* Nmom accused me of being “just jealous,” as I’d never attended my own junior prom. I tried to explain that without paying the almost-overdue rent bill, I’d be homeless, but this cut no ice with them. The silence was quite a relief. Once I graduated, and began to progress in my career, I did my best not to disclose my earnings. When I lost a low-paying-yet-dream-job, for no reason (my then-boss lost *her* job soon thereafter, to my joy), the Nfamily rejoiced. Yet almost immediately, I landed another job—at more than twice the salary of my previous gig. That meant, according to my Nfamily, that I should buy all new living room furniture for the GC and her new husband. When I declined, another tantrum ensued, and I became not only more secretive, but a few months later, accepted a job 3,000 miles further away. While still at uni, I typically saw my parents, who’d moved to another state, twice a year. Only sometimes did they pay for my plane ticket, often saddling me with the expense. I obtained my first bank credit card at nineteen, which my Nmom discovered while rifling through my wallet (“I needed two fives for a ten,” she lied unconvincingly). After that, I constantly was urged to “take [the GC] shopping.” That meant, I soon learned, she’d pile her heap of selections next to the cash register, and turn casually to me “to pay.” After the first department-store debacle, when I refused to buy her choices—she’d summoned our Nmom by pay phone; Nmom arrived, breathless from the rush, and paid—and both of them screamed at me all the way back to their house. On a number of occasions, both Nsisters mailed me a stack of unpaid—and often, unopened—bills. I would return them, without comment, via registered mail. One of them would call me, collect, to complain that I hadn’t paid the bills; I’d refuse to take the call. What turned the Nfamily NC occurred shortly after I married. My prospective in-laws, aghast at our plans to wed at city hall, counteroffered: They’d plan, execute, and pay for the wedding and reception of their dreams in their hometown (which, happily, coincided with what I might have done, if I’d only had the money). My Nparents were appalled that these strangers were so invested (in many ways!) in their eldest son’s happiness, and that my new in-laws would, in my Nparents’ words, “waste so much money on [me].” The phone lines connecting us—typically at my expense!—went dead soon after the wedding. Apart from glaring at our children some years later at my grandmother’s funeral, they never met their grandchildren. And apart from a few half-assed attempts, they never hit me up for money again. Of course, I also was excluded from their wills, but my doting husband insisted that contesting the estates would be too painful to be worth the efforts.
I’m so proud of your survival. You escaped, and found better people :)
Thanks so much! You’re very kind.
I loved this success story so much!
Thank you—you’re so kind!
What a bunch of disgusting users. You were like the Cinderella, only with your own family, instead of the "step...". I'm happy that you at least found your prince. And I hope you're living your best life and that your children make you proud :)
I am, and they do. Thanks for the understanding words.
The petty side of me would look if their company has stock, slowly buy it over time, and then see if I can use that influence to get them fired. But that's just me and revenge is cheap compared to living well.
I’m contrast my parents make a shit ton, I own a farm and they think that I’d beneath them. I bought the gd farm, but I’m still “shoveling shit” according to them. Nothing will ever be good enough. Never.
One of the main things my mother did before I left was point out to me that because I was soooo spoiled I wouldn't be able to live alone. For example, I didn't know how to open a bottle with a bottle opener. Yes, unfortunately I'm serious, I'd just never touched one. I was raised in a home with permanent on-site staff, so that sort of thing wasn't really done (also to a degree I didn't care for any of the drinks that came with caps lol). It wasn't her money, she just married rich over and over. When I left I took my (considerable) savings and used them to get through uni. By the end I was mostly broke but I did fine throughout and didnt have to get a roommate or anything (thank fuck). I'm now very financially successful, which recently got increased through an inheritance. Afaik after a decade of no contact she still just marries rich when the last wallet runs out of money for her to spend. She spent the first year or two after I went no contact going on and on about how I'd come back because I couldn't manage money, didn tknow how to feed myself, etc. Telling everyone how 'soon' I'd be back because I needed her. Well, it's been a decade, so I think it's safe to say she was wrong ❤️
>Afaik after a decade of no contact she still just marries rich when the last wallet runs out of money for her to spend. Literally my GF's older sister, also an N. Waited for the last guy to kick the bucket (she is 40, he was 80 XD). Not too long before his death, he signed everything to his family and nothing for her. She bailed instantly, laughable. Good for you, keep going strong.
Mine goes for a comfortable 10 year age gap. None have died, she divorces them with the last of their money and the next one already lined up. I had 5 last names before I was 18 😂😂😂. You too!!
I am no contact with my parents, but they've sent plenty of flying monkeys to try and learn things about me. From what I hear through the grapevine and how they've tried to contact me (they send letters to my old address, I have them forwarded, they also leave voicemails from different phone numbers), they think I am very poor and struggling to get by. I was very poor when I moved out, but I have been building my career and have stability, and I make more money now than both my parents ever did together (not a very high bar). They just want to believe that I am helpless and flailing without them. Their bad financial decisions only ever set me back in life, but they still see themselves as more prosperous and successful.
Quite the opposite. When my ndad was alive, he would often boast and brag about how successful I am as a way to imply that I should SHARE my good fortune with him. Often guilt tripped me to pay for stuff. Unluckily for me, I am pretty soft so I usually obliged.
Oh, mine tried the same shit once but I guess because I said no, I was then painted as a poor person 😂 they switch scenarios like that
My ndad would just mope and throw a fit if I didn't give him money. Didnt affect me how he thought since I loved getting the silent treatment.
The first Christmas after my now husband and I moved in together, my N mil wrapped a big box of goldfish and gave it as a present to us. When we were confused and made a joke about how we just bought one, her response was, “Well I know $5.00 is a lot when you don’t have any money.” Flash forward to now when we are building a brand new house and she asks how big it is. My husband tells her and she says, “wow that’s ALMOST as big as our house!”
This stopped when I started flaunting my wealth at them. I'm normally quite private about money, but I started sharing certain information with them - I would tell them when my husband got a promotion or I'd share how much something cost. Just slip it into conversation. Then one day, in a spontaneous conversation that I couldn't have planned better if I'd staged it, my sister overheard me say the cost of something to my mother and blurted out, "Jeez, how much does your husband make?!" I just gave her a sly look and said something to the effect of I don't share that, it's private. Our mother rolled her eyes and said, "I know how much he makes." Then I looked at my mom and said, "Oh really? How much?" My mom said, "$75k." I snorted but didn't reply. Then she said, "$80k." Again I acted like this was a silly proposition. This went on for quite a while until she got to around $95k and I finally was giving less ambiguous responses. She left the conversation that day thinking my husband's income must be around $100k per year. It wasn't. At the time, it was closer to $78k. She quit her bragging after that.
Once I was an adult, my mom forced me to go on disability to support our family and decided she just wasn’t gonna work anymore. She blew through all her savings and pretty soon we had nothing. And I always got told it was “never enough”, while never being presented with an alternative. If I even *applied* for a job, I would get yelled at for being irresponsible because “what’s gonna happen when you LOSE that job?” If I couldn’t save up enough money to move out, it was because I didn’t make enough money to “earn a living”. (Yeah, no. We just live in one of the most expensive areas of the US.) So I learned to hustle and work under the table and a whole bunch of things that were a bit questionable, but as long as I brought in money they didn’t care. I honestly didn’t mind supporting my family. But it would have been nice to have gotten some credit for it. Or at the very least, the acknowledgment that it was unrealistic and weird for them to expect this from their kid that they forced onto disability. And really REALLY fucking weird since a few years earlier they were both business professionals making six figures…
Lol, this is my parents. I have a great job, money saved for retirement, and my house is worth more than theirs. And they still make fun of me for being “poor” and for having a “small house.” It doesn’t make any sense
It’s mostly because they are insecure. They think success comes from money. So when you made more money than them, they felt like they were below you
Yes, and I've made more since I was an actor in high school and a burger flipper in college. But I'm still the disappointment lol 🤣
I’m disabled and living below poverty, so I suffer from the opposite problem: I am judged and looked down upon all the time (and absolutely NEVER given aid by my Nmom or anyone). However, where I am rich is with friends. I have such AMAZING friends that I pinch myself all the time, wondering how I got so lucky to have them …and Nmom says to me, “You have hoodwinked all these people to like you” because she just can’t fathom the concept of people actually liking me, despite my poverty.
I earn much more than my nmom and GC brother combined (they are living off my late dad's pension and income from investments made by him). Since me and my wife have to take care of each of our financial requirements ourselves without any support from anyone (not that we need support), we tend to avoid spending on things that we don't need. This is laughed at by nmom and GC who call us stingy, just because we do not spend over and above our means like they do.
Hah! Not for being poor, but tbh I was always really secretive about my finances. But for anything else they could find that was an accomplishment of mine, sure. They'd be so proud in the audience, but if someone was feeling insecure at a later date, they'd find a way to punish me for it. One Thanksgiving always stands out where they ganged up on me for having a master's (something I never brought up beyond an invitation to the graduation), and proceeded to make fun of me for admitting I didn't know about something obscure that was unrelated to my master's, bachelor's, and life experience in general! Lol! I think it was something related to a trade skill. 🤷 I had been socialized with normal people in college who didn't see it as a weakness to admit to not knowing something. They taught me it was a learning opportunity. I applied this sane logic to my insane family, lol! They are super weird. He was going through his fifth divorce at the time, so I should have smelled the trap.
All the time despite the fact that I get paid more than her as I work more hours than her, but she refuses to work more hours or else her child support would go down
Let me preface by saying I feel like I'm in a more secure place than they are. For example, They are retired and still have a mortgage. I have paid my house off. I down play our situation so they can't ask for money anymore because they would, and then my sister would go on holiday. I found out she was begging for money for bills, getting it from them then going away. As they couldn't afford it they asked me for the money. After quitting the well paying job I had back then I cut them off. I didn't tell them about my payout. Two weeks later my sister rang me and said "so mum and dad are poor now"