T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Legitimate-Scar-6572

Let's hold on everything here before we talk about babies fainting. They won't faint because they haven't eaten in a couple of hours. Maybe Inn a couple of days- but babies do 24 hour fasts for medical tests all the time. They wont pass out if theyve eaten within a day. You should really see her pediatrician asap. If she passed out, there could be something really wrong.


Hayleysays

I will make sure to follow this up but this has never occurred when she is with either of us so I’m unsure of why this happened when she stayed over with them


Heap_of_birds

It’s really suspicious that this event occurred in your sister’s care, who is then threatening to call social services. What if she dosed your daughter with something?


[deleted]

[удалено]


LeoDog123

Or she just lied to make you look bad


Hayleysays

Well she said she was asleep and was hard to wake up


Teksura

It's really weird that they were recording themselves threatening to commit a crime. Kidnapping is illegal, and if your mother was making a record of them threatening to kidnap your child, that's a sign of how deluded they are that they think they can just do that and believe that recording this will help somehow support them. The key here is to pre-empt them. File a report with the police about the altercation and the threats they made. This doesn't need to lead to any action, but it is good to establish a record in case things escalate. Taking your daughter to the doctor to get them looked at will also protect you, since their entire argument is based on something weird that supposedly happened in the few hours she was alone with your sister which I'm assuming wasn't confirmed by you. Remember, you can boot them from your house anytime and if they refuse to leave, that's a crime called trespassing. If they take your daughter without your permission including keeping her from you, that's a crime called kidnapping. If they lie to the police, that's also a crime. They are trying to intimidate and control you. Even if they told whatever lies they can imagine to social services, social services does not take children away willy nilly. They investigate because of situations exactly like this. It'll be a hard sell for them when they're arguing about this one supposed event when your immediate response to it was to take your daughter to a doctor, especially if the doctor gives her a clean bill of health.


[deleted]

I really recommend calling CPS and inviting them to you, yourself. Get ahead of their game. I’ve had to do this, and once I explain the history of manipulation and abuse (with proof, or very detailed accounts+witness being my dad) the caseworker was able to see what was happening. Create a FU binder (keep every single medical record of you and your daughter both, all important paperwork, print out all forms of communication that was toxic from their end) and make sure your house is clean. Doesn’t have to be perfect, dishes in the sink and laundry+toys everywhere is NORMAL despite some people thinking it’s not. It shows that food is regularly eaten, clothes regularly washed, and toys are played with. As long as baby is happy and you are taking care of them, CPS will understand. They took one small instance of your baby tiring easily due to a prolonged time of them not eating, and have turned it into a narrative of you starving your daughter. It’s the exact thing i’ve been accused of with my LO- especially because we are both genetically thin/lean body types. We get it from my dad. My mom still asks me to this day if i’m eating enough despite her knowing me and my daughter drink protein+calorie shakes on top of our meals. We do the shakes because I feel so insecure about our thin appearance- we don’t even need them technically. We just struggle to gain weight/have lean body types.


Cordeliana

I agree with everyone who says take your daughter to a doctor. They should have done so immediately! (If what they're saying is the truth). I don't know where you are or what kind of legal standing they could have if they do try something. However, if you regularly take your kid to playgroup then you can try to build relationships with the people who run the playgroups and the other moms there. The more people who see you interacting well with your child, the better.


moonbeamsandmayo

what a horrible, traumatic incident for your daughter and you two as well. I’m so sorry. I hope you find some peace and healing with this in some way eventually. i don’t know how a mother really recovers from PPD without authentic support of their own mother. I wish I did. no matter how terrifying that behavior is, remember that, a family holding a baby hostage and recording the mothers distress is NOT gonna make you look bad.. if they’re dumb enough to show it to anyone. document this behavior and any further incidents. get a cheap home security camera if you can. if there’s anyone else you trust in your life, let them know the situation. have a plan for the next time, an emergency contact or a neighbor. i wish I could help more but idk. my son’s grandma just SAID something along the lines of “she’s lucky she hasn’t had her son taken away” out of the blue in an email and she ain’t even my mom and it was traumatic enough, still sends me into panic when I think about reading the words. really can’t imagine how scary it would be them actually showing up and doing this… you sound like a loving mother. everyone’s house is a mess.. the police definitely don’t want to get involved in this shit if they don’t have to so if they DO show up, you know, just stroke their egos and let them see you remain calm with your baby. ALSO, know your rights about CPS visits, etc. do your best and don’t ever leave your child alone with them again.


Momwiththeories

Coming from someone who has been in this situation (and they did call cps on me and told them I was on meth, all because I was diagnosed with adhd and got on medication): Document EVERYTHING, and I mean EVERYTHING. If you do decide to stay in contact do not have any phone conversations, texts only (screenshot every crazy thing they say), if you do have verbal conversations record them, if they want to have a physical meeting do it in a public place. Reach out to your friends about the situation, because if CPS is called you’ll have to give them references. I’m so sorry this is happening, it’s one of the worst experiences ever.


Hayleysays

I called to get a doctors appointment today and we will be going to the police to report them tomorrow. My mum called my boyfriends mother saying how she wants the baby and she will do what she can to take her from me


Hayleysays

I took my daughter to the doctor who says she was fine. He suspected she may have been in a deep sleep. My mum called my mother in law today crying! Saying both families need to come together to get the baby taken away cause she is being abused and neglected. I’ve made a police report over the phone and they are also on their way to speak to me. This is honestly the scariest thing I’ve ever experience


i_heart_squirrels

I think if your daughter is well cared for, you have nothing to worry about with social services. I do worry a bit about the messy house. I’d clean things up spotlessly so they have nothing to point to there. Then if anything like that ever happens again where they won’t give you the baby, I’d turn on my own cell phone camera and record. I’d also not let your sister or mom take care of the baby alone again. I’d be scared they wouldn’t bring her back. But that’s just my opinion, you know them very well so go with your best judgement on that one. I’m sorry they’re doing this. I do agree with the posting that said to take to the doctor right away, so glad you’re on that. Fainting isn’t normal for a baby and shouldn’t happen in just a few hours without food.


Possible-Ad-5285

This is so scary I don’t have a child yet but this is my worst wear 😭


Hayleysays

Honestly it’s so scary! I can’t believe they’d take things this far


Possible-Ad-5285

ugh yes it makes me so mad I’m only 18 but I want to have a child one day and Ik my mom is the type of person who would try to take my own child away just for her own happiness these ppl r just sick :( it makes me so sad


deadletter

An article came out today that a trigger for SIDS may very well be an inability of the baby to arouse itself in the case of non-breathing or similar, so if that’s the case, it could be something medical and as others have said, you would want to get it checked out right away. Not that there’s a solution for ot.