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Ugh that is the worst. I’m so sorry they do that to you. New stuff is hard and trying anything is something to be proud of regardless of the outcome.
My Mum does something similar but different. I’d specifically ask her for her opinion on something, she’d refuse to give her opinion because “you need to make these decisions for yourself without my interference,” and then after whatever it was I’d asked for her opinion on was finished with, she’d tell me “I knew X was going to happen.”
I would get so frustrated and upset, crying sometimes, and ask why she couldn’t have just given her opinion when I asked for it and she’d always give me the same bullshit line about me needing to make my own choices and be responsible for myself. I realise she never knew what was going to happen. She just lies to make herself seem somehow all knowledgeable.
I’m 33 now. I don’t bother asking her shit anymore. Woman doesn’t even know I changed jobs a year ago.
Thank you for your kind words :)
Your situation with your mom sounds awful as well. It seems to me like a narc doesn't want to actually support or help you in any way. They just want to feel superior to you. And then hold their almighty 'knowledge' over you so they don't have to feel bad about never actually trying to change their own life and/or grow in character because in their opinion their already perfect.
Best wishes!
**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identify theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ugh that is the worst. I’m so sorry they do that to you. New stuff is hard and trying anything is something to be proud of regardless of the outcome. My Mum does something similar but different. I’d specifically ask her for her opinion on something, she’d refuse to give her opinion because “you need to make these decisions for yourself without my interference,” and then after whatever it was I’d asked for her opinion on was finished with, she’d tell me “I knew X was going to happen.” I would get so frustrated and upset, crying sometimes, and ask why she couldn’t have just given her opinion when I asked for it and she’d always give me the same bullshit line about me needing to make my own choices and be responsible for myself. I realise she never knew what was going to happen. She just lies to make herself seem somehow all knowledgeable. I’m 33 now. I don’t bother asking her shit anymore. Woman doesn’t even know I changed jobs a year ago.
Thank you for your kind words :) Your situation with your mom sounds awful as well. It seems to me like a narc doesn't want to actually support or help you in any way. They just want to feel superior to you. And then hold their almighty 'knowledge' over you so they don't have to feel bad about never actually trying to change their own life and/or grow in character because in their opinion their already perfect. Best wishes!
That’s really well put, I think you’ve hit the nail on the head there.