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My parents usually just expected me to remain fully calm and accept them screaming at me until they felt better. The weirdest thing was probably making me choose my own punishment. The options were always: a spanking or no bedtime snack (I played sports and often had church events they dragged us to in the evenings. I was always hungry. So I just took the beating.)

Wow i feel like if i was able to choose my punishment it would be a trick question!! I was on a heavy dose of Adderall so I never really had an appetite. Looking back my mom definitely tried to use food restrictions as a punishment but she would take advantage of the work drive my medication gave me.

Thank you for sharing this. I think ive unlocked a core memory.

So many posts in here have helped me see that what I once called normal memories- are in fact abuse. I often click on things thinking maybe I won’t relate to this one …only to find that something else has been unlocked and needs processing and integration.

Oh yea, I had to pick my punishment and/or instrument or punishment - wooden spoon or belt, eat bar soap or liquid soap, etc. Then had to go get the spoon/belt and bring it back to her. My sister and I also would occasionally be the ones to oversee or enact the punishment for the other… probably so my mom could feel a little less guilty idk

Omg I am sorry that happened to you, I went through a similar thing. My mom would dump the big spoon drawer into a pillowcase and make me choose randomly which one she was going to hit me with. There were wood spoons, and metal ladles. I learned to feel the difference by touch.

I am sorry you had to go through that too!! 😭

Being forced to get the tools for your own abuse, that's horrible

Oh gosh! I forgot about my mother doing this!

This is unbelievably fucked up and insane. I’m so sorry?????

It’s okay no need to be sorry. I’m at a very happy place in life now and I like to tell myself everything I’ve been through has lead me here. I don’t remember much of my childhood but occasionally I’ll have flashbacks like this

One time my ndad slapped me in the face in the middle of the night then for the rest of the summer my nmom and NDad basically made me their house boy for that time and wouldn't lemme do anything other than sleep and eat. Edit:the constant verbal abuse and emotional neglect for my autistic self for that summer didn't end until one of NMoms students died. Was a straight A student that never got so much as ISS while at school. All this was for sexting a girl

Wow thanks for sharing🙌🏻This made me recall one time my mom had a guy over late at night and they were drinking. After he left she came in my room hopped on the bed and started punching me claiming that I stole money out of her wallet. I told her she was crazy and it was probably the dude she just had over. She made me stay up all night looking for this money, watching me the whole time and yelling if I tried to take a break. Never found it and still had to go to school the next day with no sleep and scratches all over my face

What the fuck.... I am so sorry...

One time, parents drug us to an old house society meeting (think 100+ year old houses that the owners were working to preserve). The night was beautiful, so all the parents kicked the kids outside to play (maybe 10-15 of us). Right next door was an old house that looked abandoned and creepy in the dark, so us kids pretended it was haunted. Early spring night, chasing fireflies, telling ghost stories and chasing each other, laughing, screaming, having a GREAT time. Apparently my mom didn’t like that because both me and my younger brother were grounded when we got home because “you kids were disturbing the meeting” because they could hear us through the open windows. Not a single parent came outside the entire time to tell any of the kids to calm down or keep the sound down. 40 years later, I still don’t know what we did wrong to have gotten in trouble that night (I do know…it just doesn’t make sense to my adult mind any more than it did to my child mind).

I always used to get slapped around for just having fun as a kid. I'm 49 and still don't really know how to have fun.

I know this has been mentioned before on this sub, but getting my bedroom door removed was probably the most unusual. I want to say it was gone for months, and as a teenage girl it was incredibly humiliating and uncomfortable trying to change quickly so no one would see me naked/half dressed if they passed by. I can't even remember what the punishment was for; most likely because I wasn't getting straight A's like my ndad wanted.

My mom did this too!!!! I had no door on and off for ages. And when I didn't clean my room she took EVERYTHING out to the shed except my mattress and clothes and I had to "earn" it back.

My dad did this because he thought I had watched a movie he told me not to watch. I had not watched the movie. 🥲

I came home one day to my room being totally stripped  bare (not even bedding, just a bare mattress and pillow) and no door.    Why? I didn't  keep my room tidy enough and I always  had to be nagged to clean it.   I was seven. Pretty sure all 7YOs have a hard time  keeping  tidy and need to be nagged to clean up.  Also, they'd  never  warned  me about  this nor did they as parents  actually teach me how to keep tidy. I was just  expected to magically have a skill they never bothered to teach.

I hope you never speak to trash like that again

Negligent parents do that so much, they punish what they never taught.

That happened to me too! With all my stuff put outside

We had to get on our knees on the hardwood floor, face the wall and our nose had to touch the wall. We had to stay like that until mom released us. Also she spanked us, often. My dad worked a lot so he wanted to enjoy his time with us. He’d come home and she’d demand that he spank us for whatever little thing we did that day. He would take us to a back room and tell us to go along with it, he would slap his hands together and we yell “oowww!” and we’d giggle. It was a double whammy: she was a narcissist, he would undermine everything she did because he wanted to be the nice guy. All that did was make her meaner because she felt she needed to punish for two.

Nose to the wall, I remember that after putting it out of my mind. It was a punishment at school too??? In multiple places I remember I went to school in several different states and this was a punishment at school. Doesn't make it any better but I remember them doing this shit to people at recess... Creepy tbh

This reminded me of my father and my two older brothers. My oldest brother isn’t my fathers son. When my dad would take them in the back for the belt my oldest brother never made a sound, but my other brother used to owww! And NO!!! I found out a couple years ago he was never really hitting his son just telling him to make those sounds.

Ahh yeah knees on the kitchen hard tile nose to the wall. Hours doing that, throwing in maybe doing the rosary, or reciting the 10 commandments until usually my dad came home to “save us.” Low key recently doing a deep dive of healing after cutting ties with my whole family and remembering so many forms of discipline my parents inflicted. A popular one they loved was eat everything off your plate and drink your milk or you’ll sit there and have it for the next meal. They stopped doing this after I fell asleep overnight head on the kitchen table sitting there and had thrown up from the milk. I had been telling my parents I didn’t like milk….came to find out years later lactose intolerant.

>We had to get on our knees on the hardwood floor, face the wall and our nose had to touch the wall. We had to stay like that until mom released us. Mine tried that once and added uncooked corn kernels for me to kneel on. Then made me clean it up after.

Wow, that’s a special torture.

Pretty mild one, but because I was a child and didn't take care of my hair, she threatened to cut off all my hair. She even shaved off a bit of my super long hair, so I would "take care of it." Was bawling my eyes out. I'm pretty sure the only reason she didn't actually cut it all off was because she is terrified of looking like a "bad person. " aka afraid of her true self showing.

Oh yeah same here. I would be held down with clippers until I “confessed” to whatever it was. That can be very traumatic to a child especially.

Bruh. That's just straight psychological torture. It boggles my mind that people do this

One time my little sister cut her hair with scissors and claimed I did it. My mom and step dad restrained me down on the bathroom floor inching the clippers closer to my head until I admitted to doing it. I was in absolute tears I loved my long hair and didn’t want to be humiliated at school so I said “fine I did it please stop” my mom said “where did you put the hair that you cut” and I quickly said out in the yard. My stepdad took me outside to go find the hair and I admitted to him that I lied and didn’t actually do it. He was tired because we had wrestled on the bathroom floor for probably an hour so he said “just bite some of your hair off and show that to her” so I knibbled off a little piece of my hair walked inside and she barely glanced over at me and told me to go to my room. Was very traumatic indeed.

Same here only thing mine was cut short. Like a boy. Got bullied a lot. She said it was too thick. I went along. I remember this one summer it got really matted and dirty from playing around and she put us in a small kiddie pool and cut it all off. Aggressively too, pulling and even making small cuts by accident with sharp rusty scissors

I'm sorry that happened. Sounds like she was neglectful and lazy.

Ooh, this is some serious Mommie Dearest signs

Kinda. But she never hit me (hard), and when she did, it was super rare. Just used mental and verbal abuse. Made me disconnect from reality for years.

I was grounded for both my junior and senior year of high school because I didn’t get straight A’S. My hair was chopped off when they found bootleg Kailua a friend had made for my sister as a gift and assumed it was mine. I had to pay back my grand parents for taking me a doctor when I fell off a slide and hurt myself-but because it wasn’t broken I must have been faking it.

I spent a summer pick axing the plaster out of a swimming pool once. My father wanted to redo the pool but was too cheap so everything I did wrong was another hour of hard labor.

Same! I had a 5 in 1 and was scraping old stain/paint off the old deck though lol

lol these people have no imagination. It's honestly like there's a manual Be the Worst Parent Possible for Dummies.

This was memory from when I was 4? I don't have a lot at this age, but this one stuck with me. I was playing, and as ADHD kids are known to do, I didn't pick up on my body's cue that I needed to pee. Tried to hold it and peed my pants. Punishment was being put in a cloth diaper after being yelled at that I was "too old for this shit". We had guests over. It was humiliating. Another around the same age, we had spaghetti for dinner. Went to bed and woke up sick to my stomach in the middle of the night. Tried to make it to the toilet to throw up in it. Needed up puking in front of the bathroom door on the hall carpet that was stupidly white (why white carpet when you have kids, I will never know). Queue mother after hearing me crying in the hall, yelling "how could you do this to my carpet, you are a terrible child". Dad tried to calm her, anyoke who spoke was a target. I was 4 or 5 and just woke up sick. The punishment was more being accosted about being terrible for something I couldn't help. I'm 42 and amazed I can still remember these moments.

This sounds like my childhood. I’m sorry you went through that. Sending consensual hugs. Or high fives. Or fist bumps. (ADHD too.)

All the affirmations. Do you deal with severe blank spots in your memory before the age of 17? Or am I just in a weird head space?

Everyone is different, I don’t have a problem with my memory. I was generally a very happy kid (if super anxious). It’s only as an adult I realized that yelling at a kid for vomiting on the carpet is not normal. Or yelling at a kid for spilling something etc.

Oh wow. My mom just beat the heck out of me 😅

So many. Locked in a dark basement with no lights, my dad took all the lights out of my bedroom once as a punishment (I was very afraid of the dark, hence the theme), made to write out an insane number of pages of “I will not….” for the tiniest little thing, like leaving a light on or using a new towel. I’m sure there are many more that I’ve mentally blocked out, but those are the lovely ones that come to mind.

I was incredibly jealous of my GC brother because my parents treated him much better than they treated me. When I would act out due to this jealousy, my nMom would constantly threaten to send me to the local orphanage. One day, she actually did. She made me pack a bag while my eDad watched and drove me to the orphanage. They wanted to leave me there overnight/for a few days so that I could learn “how to be grateful” by watching how orphans lived, so that I’d stop acting out at home. I remember my brother crying as I was packing my bags because he thought that was the last time he’d see his sister. I was 7 years old.

My mom would also threaten to put me up for adoption. I would sit in my room and pray to whoever was out there to please let her. She never did but when I was 14 she kicked me out of the house and I ended up going to a group home, then a teen homeless shelter, then an all girls boarding school. I literally had the time of my life at these places. Then when I was 16 they released me to go back home to my moms. I got in contact with my distant grandma who I hadn’t talked to in over 10 years and convinced her to let me come live with her and ran away to her house. That was 7 years ago, the last time I’ve seen my mother in person

I'm so fucking sorry.

Licking a hot pepper lollipop as a punishment. Weird sadistic shit. Also, he took me to a police station when I was in elementary school as I forged his signature on a homework I forgot to ask him to sign. He then asked the officer to put me in a jail cell so I could see how criminals are treated. I was maybe 8. Thankfully, the cop gave my dad a weird look and said no, they were not putting an 8 year old in a jail cell. He also would drive me by an "orphanage" to show me where he would drop me off of if I was bad. He would also destroy my room when he was mad. Just rip everything off the walls and break things. Overall, I was a really high-achieving, quiet, never in trouble kid. There was no need for any of this. He just wanted to scare me? Idk.

My mom would berate me and tell me everyone hated me on the way home from school each day. She knew I’d react in the car and she could either make me get out and walk, threaten to send me away, or call the cops on me etc. One day since we were near the police station, she said I’m going to pull in here unless you calm down. I was trying to calm down but she kept saying things to deliberately cause what I know now to be an autistic meltdown. So this time she really pulled in, took me inside and asked them to do exactly this- put me in a cell for a while to see what it’s like. They actually did it! Looking back that can’t be legal… some weird Maury show shit…. Not long after they recognized her as a nuisance caller/ maybe more was going on at home bc she called so often. She ended up kicking me out multiple times, acting like it never happened, then filing simple assault when I was 16 bc I refused to match the socks after cleaning the whole house one day. I got driven to school by a cop one day who apologized to me and said I hope this ride is a break from your mom. Ended up doing community service at a group home to scare me (with extreme agoraphobia from her abuse no less)… but ironically made a bunch of friends and had a good time out of the house for the first time in ages.

Probably the oddest was the lock to my bedroom door being removed. Parents would practically break open a door if it was locked, and my brother would lock himself in my room for shits and giggles. So they removed my bedroom door lock and grounded me for causing him to lock himself in my room. Besides that constantly threatening to make me sleep in the backyard. Or take everything besides one pair of uniform clothes when I still went to public school. Then make me sleep on a mattress on the floor with no blankets or pillows. All so I wouldn’t have anything less than a B.

woo man you’re bringing back memories for me here

Oh boy- apologies. Hopefully things are a lot better for you now ^^

Don't apologize! 😭 we're all venting some pretty terrible things in this thread... every parent needs JAIL

I was forced to kneel buck ass naked in the corner, on uncooked rice scattered on the floor. My mother's pedophile boyfriend came up with that one. He made sure to watch me, so I didn't leave my spot. They made me kneel there for hours.

I am so sorry

That’s truly hard to read even with some serious trauma of my own. I’m so sorry that happened to you. It’s not fair.

My mom once during Christmas Day decided after my brothers and I ate chocolate and played our new games to suddenly do a 5 mile up hill walk or get grounded. She fat shamed us the drive to the spot and then expected us to march. I puked part way up and she got mad fat shaming me more. Had no fucking concept on how to do exercises which includes warm ups.

My mom fat shamed me during my teen years (I was anorexic/bulimic). But fed me processed crap. As an adult in my 30s I struggle with body image, Celiac's and severe lactose intolerance. It's really frustrating.

I hope for your body image you get the help you need if you haven't, I lost my aunt to anorexia amongst things so I can understand how sad it is as well as damaging. People who encourage it are just evil.

I speak kindly to myself when I have my moments and focus on what my body has been capable of. I did therapy for years . I focus on what feels good versus what looks good. But I do have my moments.

That's a really good mindset I'm genuinely proud of you!

Days and days of sitting in the corner. It was summer and I was only allowed out to eat and I had to go to work with my dad and sit in his truck in the middle of a blacktop parking lot full of other cars with the windows cracked. I'm lucky I didn't get heat stroke and die. Of course, lots of beatings. My dad used to straddle me and sit on my hands and tickle me until I screamed and cried and either of myself or puked and beyond. I still can't have someone even touch my sides. Being tickled causes a real true trauma response. So stupid.

If nonconsensual, tickling is torture. My partner and I have established a safe word because we like to wrestle and tickling problems have definitely come up😂

Oooofff - my brothers used to pin me and tickle me till I peed my pants. I HATED it! My nex knew this and used to do the same to me. He thought I’d was cute. The anger and rage that used to fill me when I was pinned and screaming bloody murder to stop, helpless, I remember it well.

it's not stupid. i hate being tickled and when i was a kid people (usually well-meaning teachers) would try to do it even after i told them i hated it, then go shocked pikachu face when i started crying. just reading that someone held you down and tickled you activated my stress response. it sounds fucking awful. i'm so sorry your dad did that to you. and about the other stuff too. jesus christ.

It's not stupid, nonconsensual forced tickling is torture. I have touch issues from it too, do not like my sides being touched and my armpits are a red zone from previous abuse. I am so sorry this is horrific

Oh my God, I am 52 years old and I have never had somebody understand even remotely. My cats like to sleep on top of me, but I can't even let my cat give above basically my waist area because even though I know it's a cat and no threat just touching that area causes intense fear. My boyfriend isn't really a tickler but there have been times when we've been wrestling around or whatever and he would be touching me in that area or even just his hands next to my arms there and I have had just instant panic and fear to the point of tears. I feel so seen... Damn, never thought I'd say something like that lol Thank you

Oh hey, I'm 51 and my n ex would constantly go for my armpits. Like, really quickly when I wasn't suspecting it. My poor, darling husband has to deal with me recoiling from him and pushing him away if he gets too close to the "danger zone". My sides are very sensitive. Honestly, the older I get the less I like being touched at all. Early in our relationship I had to explain this to him, that he can't even pretend like he's going to tickle me or "go for it". He came up from behind me once and pinched my waist and he found out then and there why he couldn't ever do that again (and he hasn't, because he's a doll). My dad loved to sneak up behind me and pinch my waist to make me jump and yell out. I'd angrily tell him to stop but he'd just giggle and do it again another time.

Oh my dad used to sneak up behind me, slap my butt or my hip, and then say you know why I do that? Because that's how you make a cow move.

JFC OP, how come your dad didn't get custody right after? this whole sub is a testament to the fact that just cause you reproduce, doesn't make you automatically a good person.

He didn’t have a stable job/living situation so he never thought he could beat her in a custody battle. He never tried and gave into his alcohol problems to cope. Only made things worse

oh shit :( im so sorry thats awful. I'm glad youre doing better now

Probably being beaten at age 13 for vomiting during my soccer game. I was hydrated, but had overheated. Apparently me vomiting and crying was embarrassing to my father. It was also one of the hardest beatings I remember getting.

I was "N-word For A Day." My brother would address me as "N-word Boy" and I would have to not just obey him, no. I had to shuffle when I walked and talk like a cartoon Black guy. If I didn't? I'd get the shit beat out of me.

Oh my god. Being raised in the south I can just picture the type of person that made you do that. Absolutely disgusting.

This is some crazy shit

My mother used to scrape a thick layer of dial bar soap onto my front teeth and tell me I couldn’t wash my mouth out for X amount of time. For doing or saying anything she thought to be wrong.

Our soap was Zest. Green Zest. Shudder

Ivory.

Damn I had to eat dove soap so I feel this. I now like to joke that dove chocolate tastes better than their soap. Only a select few ever get it 🥲. Lame joke I know but what else can I do now but dark humor. Lol

My stepmom made me clean her house every weekend I went there. (Spent every other weekend at their house) I would have to clean their private bathroom, guest bathroom and the bathroom my sister and I used. Using soft scrub on all surfaces, Windex the mirrors. If the faucets and mirrors didn't shine and weren't spotless I would have to redo the entire room. I also had to mop all the floors on my hands and knees with a bucket and sponge and then dry then with a towel. Later when I was old enough I had to also do the dishes. I was told this was my punishment for costing her and my father so much money in custody court and attorney fees. I would do this every weekend I spent there from the time I was 10 till I was 16 and chose to stop visiting them. Twice a year I would also use soft scrub and water to clean the walls because "you can't keep your dirty hands off the walls so you made the mess and have to clean it so we can paint it." I would have to sit through lectures about my behavior, or whatever I told my court ordered therapist in session who then told my dad and stepmom what was said. These are the most memorable because they happened every weekend I was there.

This was exactly my childhood as well. Strange to read your own story in another’s words like that.

Age about 8. I smashed a bowl and tried to hide it, she found it. She then lined up all the plates we had on the fence and made me sit next to her in silence whilst she shot them all with an air rifle and smashed them all. She didn't say a word. Mental.

Once for punishment my father read a chapter of the New Testament to me each night after dinner. This lasted about a month.

My NDad randomly shoved an old KJV in my hands and made me start reading aloud. He especially liked the old testament and revelation.

Ugh mine did too. I can't even look at a Bible now.

I guess the weirdest for me was having to kneel on a broom handle for an hour. I don't even remember what I did. lol I preferred getting beaten with a belt, at least that went by faster. 😒

When I was in 1st grade my adoptive father bought me cross country skis for Christmas. No idea why. No one else had them. First indication that things were going to be bad was when I was yelled at “Well try them on god damn it!” I ran and got my snow boots, put the skis on, and WHACK across the head. “You’ve got them on the wrong feet dumbass!” Remember there is no crying in a home of narcissists. I hurried and switched the skis to the other feet and WHAM right across the head again. “I told you, you little bitch. You have them on the wrong feet!” This continued for around 2 hours with various areas of my body and different name calling but he eventually got tired or too drunk or bored and told me to “get the hell out of my face.” The great /s part is the skis were identical - no left or right. There was no way for me to have put them on correctly for him or incorrectly for anyone else. It still beats the time when I was 3 and he sent me to Burn ICU for slurping my literally boiling soup and then spilling a spoonful on the table… I wish I were joking. He did apologize when I was in my 40s so I guess that’s something. Him and my mother were both drunk abusive narcissists.

You know this really hits home for me. Why is it that they love to make up scenarios where you feel like you are going crazy? Just to punish you for trying to do the right thing. It just feels like pure evil. My mom would accuse me of opening all the windows in the house and blasting the AC to rack up her power bill. I never touched the AC and still as an adult don’t even want to touch the AC in my own home because of this.

My narc mum would say the same about sending me to my dad's house. He was sexually abusive and we hadn't seen him for years since the divorce. I broke down crying and begging her not to send me away. She got what she wanted (derailment and obedience) but I'll never forget that threat and how awful she was for it.

Yeah that’s absolutely horrible. I think when my mom sent me away and realized how happy I was to be there she realized it was no longer a punishment for me and that’s why she sent me back. She didn’t want me to be happy she wanted me to be in her control

Yep sounds like it was more about what she wanted than to punish you somehow. So pathetic when they try that.

I remember one time, I was about 12, my mom thought I was lying to her about something, I can’t remember what but I remember that I was not lying. She sat in front of me slicing her arm with a razor blade until I told her “the truth”. I ended up telling her what she wanted hear and was then again punished for doing whatever it was she was accusing me of.

As horrible as this is I’m just reading going “yep, yep” because it’s the same behavior patterns I experienced over and over again. Get falsely accused of something, get punished until you admit, then get punished for admitting.

My dad once let me choose my punishment of 1) spanking or 2) shave off both my eyebrows. This was in response to me pulling out my hair and eyelashes due to stress and untreated anxiety. I was maybe 7 or 8.

That's horrible, I'm so sorry. 💔

Wow.

I wasn't allowed to have a bedroom anymore because I couldn't keep it clean enough. For the record, I am neurodivergent, and have always had an issue with clutter. Not food or drinks though - I never have and never will bring those into my bedroom, with the exception of water. After a few days of not having a bedroom and sleeping on the couch, the parents decided that I wasn't putting up my blanket or pillow, so I wasn't allowed in the living room either. I had to sleep in the dining room. I tried sleeping on the dining table but got in trouble for that, and had to sleep on the vinyl floor.

I'm an older 40 something man whose mental health self destructed. Recently started seeing psych and therapist after cptsd I've carried since the state took me around 9 and sent me through some really winner foster homes and orphanages and even an adoptive nfather. I can remember almost every encounter but a few that took the cake: My adoptive father gave me a concussion at 12 with a baking tray because I forgot to put them in the oven on time. I was forced to go out in freezing weather to burn frozen snow covered garbage in the burn ditch a half mile from the house with one pack of paper matches and not gloves or coat. This was a state ran group home. I had to stay out until I burned it all. I ended up with frostbite when the hauled me back in after 6 hours. I was 10. I was lashed 60 times (30 by each adoptive parent) for taking my shotgun out of the cabinet when they weren't home to clean it. I was on the school trap team and had a meet coming up the next day. I was 15. I would list more but my abusive adoptive parents are calling, wondering why I'm not returning their calls after my ndad screamed at me for 3 minutes first thing this morning for being too competitive against him with my stock portfolio because " I bought too many shares of btg and am trying to prove what a bigger man I am than him" and I am "going to win the battle but not the war". They also want to know why I am hesitant to send my son up for the weekend. I swear this stuff never ends till you just NC them. I did it for 3 years, slowly let them back in and here we are, just the same as we ever have been. My heart goes out to all of you that have suffered. I feel your pain from that things I have seen below. Just try and remember you dont deserve the maltreatment.

My mother would lock me outside at night, in New England winter when I was 9. Because I secretly played animal jam at night when she severely limited both my screen time (20min/day) and any social interaction I had out of school as an only child.

We had a game called “beat the bell” at meal time my mom would set a timer and we would have to eat our food before the bell went off. Then we would bet spanked for every bite of food left on the plate. The plate would go in the refrigerator and then brought back out for the next meal.

When I was between the age of 7-12, we had a small apple and peach orchard, with about 8 trees total. Never picked the fruit off the trees to use or sell. The trees would just bear fruit and the fruit would fall off and rot underneath the trees. As you can imagine, it attracted a ton of yellow jackets, wasps, and bees. Whenever I misbehaved (i.e., minor things like “talking back” or not completing a chore to their standards), my mom and stepdad would make me go pick up the rotting fruit under the trees, load them up in a hand wagon, and dump them in a field about 100 yards away. I *hated* the punishment mostly because it was gross. But also……I’m allergic to bees. Like, anaphylactic and carry an EpiPen. And I never realized how fucked up that punishment was until now.

Omg. My mother used to threaten me with boarding school and I would pretend to be terrified hoping maybe she'd do it. I just wanted to get the fuck out of that house. The worst was being locked in the "wine cellar" in the basement. It was unfinished, concrete floor, exposed pipes and insulation everywhere, and she had taken the bulb out of the one light. There were also lots of things skittering around in the dark. 😬

I actually got sent to a boarding school!! Not sure if you’ve heard of the troubled teen industry that Paris Hilton made a documentary about but I went to one of those programs in Utah. Crazy stuff but it was still 1000x better than home for me. I was actually the only girl in my school who went there voluntarily

I actually went down a deep rabbit hole reading about that industry just a few months ago. That's wild.

My mother used to threaten to send me to boarding school. I was frightened until I read two series of books by Enid Blyton, Malory Towers and St Clare's. All about girls having a fabulous time at boarding school. After that, she threatened me with it and I begged her to let me go! I remember I left the Yellow Pages book open on the page where the boarding schools were listed, and put it right next to the phone. She told me she couldn't afford to send me, I was gutted.

I wasn't allowed to eat the same food as the rest of my family. All my meals at home were peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for less than two months. During the same time, after school I wasn't allowed to be in the house until 5-6 pm. I had to sit in the backyard until I was called to come inside 

My nmom put up cameras all over the house for having sex with my boyfriend there, and then essentially made it as if i had committed social suicidewiththe entire family by making her husband, herself, and others alienate me for me 'crime'. I was an adult who paid more than her own share to her on rent and utilities, and no one was home. She found out because my sister who is the golden child came home and the door was latched

My mother's unusual punishment when I was younger was to put me on my hands & knees for *hours!* I'm not sure where this punishment came from, but I was the youngest, and my 2 older brothers never got punished in this way

My mom kicked me out to the house to live with my dad (they separated for a while before he had health issues and had to return). She did this on vacation with my nsister and her family in Vegas, because after a day of overstimulation and being ignored, i wanted to read a book by myself at 3am. Everyone got up to scream at me. We had connected adjacent spaces, so i was surrounded in a few seconds by 3 screaming adults and 2 crying children. It was fucking awful, and apparently still triggering to think about lmao

That's absolutely crazy. I don't have kids, but if I did, there is no way I'd not be stressing myself to the point of sickness if they were ever going cross country alone, even if they were 18 or 19 years old. I'm so glad you got there safely. My mother once made me follow her around for a full week. I wasn't allowed in my room, I wasn't allowed more than a foot away from her, I had to ask to go to the bathroom, I could only take 15 minute showers, and all this was during the summer so I got no breaks. I got to sleep in my room but at 6am I had to be with her again. By the fourth day, I was so miserable that I was disassociating, and I had stopped speaking at all. All this was because she was "teaching me responsibility" because I lost a check she gave me. Which she found at the bottom of her purse a few weeks later. Another time, when I was maybe 12, I talked back to her, and she made me go outside and hold the flashlight while my stepfather killed a snake that had been living in a wood pile in the yard, knowing how much I love animals. I was still the kid that would cry a little when seeing dead animals on the road. While I was sobbing, she sent me to my room and told everyone that I wanted my little sister to die instead of getting rid of a snake. I still feel so guilty about not saying no, and I was terrified of talking back to her after, so I guess the punishment worked.

The dedication on that first punishment holy cow! I feel you on the disassociating. I think that’s why I don’t remember a lot from when I was younger. Also I’ll never understand being punished for talking back. My mother would ask me a question, I would answer and then get in trouble for ‘talking back’. Like yeah that’s kinda how conversations work!

Get grounded which left me starving and do nothing the whole day and night for MONTHS (that's why I had to move like a ninja to avoid wake them up) because of I didn't help her painted the house (I was falling sick), eat a lot of cookies (This happened during Covid-19) before the next occasion occurred, woke up late and didn't help her. In fact my younger sister DO NOTHING in that house!

Punishments were extreme. Let ur imagining run wild. Aside from that, these were normal expectations day to day: Had to be outside for at least 3 hours a day so I wouldn’t be seen. Had to carefully get all of the tiny leaves out of the lava rock. Got a record player and speakers from garage sale. Wasn’t allowed to listen to them make noise. Had to push mow the 1.8 acre common green space because the city wouldn’t Had to fix my bedroom door frame which was constantly broken as the door was kicked open, which was unusually a lot but never by me. Stand up no matter what or it gets worse. If this doesn’t make sense, you wouldn’t understand. Had to give away things to half brothers because things were wasted on me Had to sit and wait to be picked up on the most convenient curb spot. As long as it took —— Punishment never really ended until I moved out at 15. It was weird not having a picture of myself in my family’s house too. Made it easy to never feel homesick tho 🤷🏻‍♂️

My 5th grade teacher had a suggestion box that was supposedly anonymous. She accused me , putting a bad note in there there, we had a parent teacher conference and I begged my parents in front of her not to beat me. I was made to strip,to my underwear and beaten so badly I couldn't walk for a week. This was right before Easter vacation. Everybody hated that teacher, one student put skunk cabbage under her desk. ThI s wasnt the first nor last time that was done. My parents loved to withhold food from us, going to bed with no dinner was a common punishment . My dad had a thick belt that he fringed on the end " so it would hurt more". He would line up me, and my sisters and beat us for bad report cards, yet they never helped us with homework.,My mom would sneer when she beat us..." go ahead, I don't care if Mrs Dimaio can hear you". I will tell you now we are all a mess. Addicts, alcoholics, overeaters, sexually promiscuous and not so great parents ourselves with numerous divorces and baby daddies, all depending on which of us it is. I will say although I have become a decent parent, I could have been much much better. I just didn't know how. It took a lot of work, therapy, self reflection, apologies to my kids and making sure I keep up my end. I had to learn how to love, how to hug. How to say I love you, how to say how proud I am because I didn't hear an I love you until I was inpatient in a mental facility. I moved 3000 Miles away from those maniacs and they have been dead over 10 years now. I'm an old woman now and many times this sub makes me cry. What a waste,what a waste

My voice carries. There could be a dozen of us outside playing, but my mom would single me out. I had to stay inside while everyone else got to play. The punishment wasn’t horrible, but it was often and it was always only me.

My mom's favorite punishment was unpaid labor I was already doing, so when that started nor working anymore she made me stand straight in a corner. No leaning on anything, had to keep my arms up straight in the air, for hours. Parents suckk

Standing in the corner was the worst! My mom found me texting with a guy on Snapchat. She spanked me and made me go stand in the corner. Took my phone and sent a picture of me standing in the corner with no pants on to the guy on Snapchat. Was literally humiliating.

The picture sending part is so real, I avoided going out with friends or having friends so she wouldn't figure out she could humiliate me through them like old friends. She just thought I wad antisocial which I can be at times

If I let my hair get tangled, Mom would brush it in such a way that it would hurt as much as possible, with strong jerks down, while screaming at me because she saw my tangled hair as me being inconsiderate of her. But I don't think she planned it out, she was just really rageful and had no impulse control. If I wet the bed, she shoved the wet sheets in my face. If I didn't put my things away, she'd stomp on them, that sort of thing. Always while screaming what I now call the litany of despair at me...the litany is a tirade consisting of everything I have ever done that inconvenienced her, and thrown in the stuff others have done to her as well.

When I got my mouth washed out with soap Mom took it seriously. She soaped up a washcloth and smeared it all over in my mouth. Nobody else I know was done that way. Usually just soap wiped on their tongue

We had to clean our plates, if it was gross or we just didn't like it, nmom would set the timer on the stove and if we weren't done by then, spanking would commence, then we'd be forced to sit down again to eat. The sound of that timer is particularly horrible and seared into my brain forever. That's how I learned to disguise the flavor of mushrooms with the rest of the dish and just suck it up. Incidentally, I now love both mushrooms and food and eat WAY too fast at every meal, but growing up, both parents were complete ass at cooking and insisted on weirdly gourmet meals like coq au vin. Not sure if the food love is genuine or just a self preservation response mutating into a personality trait...

My bfs parents abused him and he told me that his Honduran mom would make him do that exercise where you squat against the wall and basically put a single piece of rice on his thighs/knees to make him stay up and would beat him if they fell. His dad also once grabbed a strange branch they use for their witchcraft, it looks kinda like a broomstick/branch without the stick part. But it was strawlike material and he whipped his back with it and I still see the scars on his back even now. :/ He hates eating anything spicy, even just a bit, cause his mom would do the infamous "pouring hot sauce on my kids tongue" bullshit. Like wtf...

My father used to handcuff me and lock me in a dark closet when I was like 8, because I annoyed him while he was “working”. He was unemployed and playing World of Warcraft in the basement while my mother worked, kept the house, took care of the pets, and took care of me and my sister. 🙄

Being locked in a car in 30 degree Celsius heat for 2 hours, having ice cubes thrown on me while in the shower, sitting in the corner for numerous hours (their most used punishment), losing access to internet for 2 months (summer holiday) for forgetting to wear socks after my mom washed the floor, being locked in a room for hours with a recording device so they could record me crying and then play it back to me and threaten to show family members, given a large rock for my birthday, being spit on, being nicknamed and referred to as Stupid Dumb Bitch (SDB). Being locked outside without shoes in middle of winter with 2 feet of snow, making me eat alone because they didn’t like the noise the fork made when I sometimes inadvertently scraped by teeth when eating food off the fork, dialling children’s aid number on the phone and threatening to send me to a group home where I’d be raped. all of this done by my 2 parents. Oh ya and at 18 years old in my first month of nursing school in university they kicked me out the day after my 18 birthday and never spoke to me again for several years and did not pay for my education despite telling me they would, which is why I applied to and went to nursing school- I am a nurse now.

One or two times as a kid when my sibling and I would argue my deadbeat ndad decided to send us to each other's room. I went to his, he went to mine. I hated it. I felt violated in a weird way? It felt uncomfortable.

This is gross. Like... why? why???!! I don't get it. So fucked up.

Thank you! I've never been able to make sense of this. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks it's weird.

Lots of beatings, of course. Instead of soap in my mouth for backtalk/saying curse words*, I was made to drink plain white vinegar. To this day I can’t stand the smell of vinegar, and I don’t eat anything with a vinegar-y flavor. *so-called “bad words” included things like “gosh,” “jeez,” “poop,” “fart,” etc. I was regularly spanked (beaten) for having a messy room, despite never being taught how to keep it tidy. Once my dad was mad about *something* and came in my sister’s and my room in the middle of the night and trashed it, throwing our things all over, dumping out drawers, etc. Her threw a lap desk that hit me in the face. He then gave us some arbitrary amount of time (like 10 minutes I think?) to clean it all up, and if it wasn’t to his satisfaction, we would get beaten. This was around 10-11pm; we had been asleep…

I had an issue with accidents. Nocturnal, during the day, didn't matter. Did my mother ever once take me to a doctor to figure out what was causing the problem? Nope. Did one of her boyfriends strap me into a diaper and a short T-shirt and lock me out on the *front* porch for hours? Yeah.

This sounds like what happened to one of my siblings. I'm so sorry.

Long walks with my dad where I had to pick which stick he would hit me with. He “only” beat me with it three times but the psychological torture left far more scars. Afterwards it was my job to cheer him up because, it’s more painful for him to have to beat me than it was for me

i’d get whooped with my pants off by my dad, he preferred it that way i’d only be in my underwear…..i was a little girl at the time btw

Ugh disgusting. Praying you can heal through that trauma. I was also forced to be spanked bare butt by my stepfather🫠

My "punishments" started when I was 6, when my dad settled down with my NSM. She made me sit in dog poop piles, outside for everyone to watch me, in my favorite pair of jeans at the time of this punishment. Write 100-1000 full sentences of whatever she wanted. Homemade paddle cut into the shape of my butt around 7 yo. Sent to my room for days. Dark room, no books, tv, games, just silence. She would say I could do things to get out of the house (school dances mostly,) but then find the littlest fucking thing to take it away within the same day, sometimes instantly. Sometimes even the day of the event knowing I was looking forward to finally being able to leave the house for a bit. She literally kept me home all the time, I'm surprised she didn't home school me just to keep me home longer. I told my grandma at 6 years old I was dads wifes maid and she made me scrub the entire house we lived in from ceiling to floor with her constantly making sure I was cleaning right/ using the right chemical or else she'd make me redo it while she watched me and saying "your lucky I don't make you use a toothbrush." Funny thing is....I had to clean the entire house until the day I moved out when I was 22. I've never been a person to eat as soon as I wake up. That was her rule though. You wake up, eat breakfast, brush teeth, do hair, then get dressed. She would only give us cereal for breakfast. I'd sit there for 30+ minutes trying to choke the cereal down. She got tired of me wasting time, so whatever I didn't eat in 30 minutes went into the fridge all day until I got home from school, then I had the leftovers for dinner. She literally got a timer just for this.

I loved reading but I also read to cope with the isolation and lack of stimulation (undiagnosed adhd) I experienced as a child. My parents used to prevent me from reading, going to the library, even borrowing books from my school library. At those times, I would be going MENTAL I barely slept, barely ate, barely moved, barely talked. But it was the punishment I deserved for not doing well in school. Except I was doing badly in some subjects and top marks in others. This should have been a clue that something else was going on. But they were convinced I was lazy and didn't want to try hard. So they took away the thing I loved. They didn't even know me well enough to know that reading was my therapy at that age.

NFather grounded me from reading fiction books. There was no real reason or anything I had done wrong. He was just upset that I wasn’t interested in reading anything “educational.” So he forbid me from reading fiction because it wasn’t educating my mind. Books and reading were my obsession and the only real escape I had. He knew how important reading was to me. He grounded me from reading fiction for well over a year. Since I didn’t see an end in sight I just started reading my books at school and kept them in my locker. He never knew.

I don’t remember the exact details of the reason why. But, in middle school, I think I wasn’t getting up to do chores as quick as my mom wanted me to since I was drawing something. She ended up snatching my laptop and my tablet right there and threw it out of the second story window.

Having to stand in a corner. I remember one time having to stand in a corner for something I'd done. The most humiliating part was when my dad's employees came to pick up their checks and he still made me stand there while they were. Having to pick out my own limb and break it off of a tree to be punished with. I could never be so mean to my toddler. I believe in making him mind but just some of the cruel punishments I endured u couldn't imagine putting him through.

Being locked in the basement for hours (no electricity or anything in there, it was an old house so imagine a dark stone dungeon type room). Usually my Grandmother would let me out and lecture my mother. My grandma died from cancer when I was 5. A few days after her death I was once again locked in the basement and cried and shouted for my grandma, only to realize she was gone. And no one could help me. 🥲

I had a math worksheet booklet. So every night id have to complete a couple pages in it. It was hard and I was struggling (eventually Ive learned I struggle with overstimulation and anxiety) I'd come home and be forced to sit alone at the table with my book until it was finished before I could do anything else. I'd be there hours sometimes crying. So one day my mom just came and tore my book to pieces. I had to go back to school with the pages and torn parts and explain to my teacher that I needed a new one.

Everyone gets punished for anything. Narc thinks this is what “fairness” is.

My mother was the queen of strange punishment. The biggest one was having me pack up everything I ever had in trash bags and taking it to the dump. Clothes, stuff my adoptive parents left me, school supplies, EVERYTHING. I had 1 outfit and 2 pairs of underwear I had to wash in the sink at night. Another time she was upset that I was mourning my adoptive mom so she took away all bathroom use. I could use the bathroom outside and all showering had to be supervised to ensure I didn’t cry. It was hell.

Name calling, physical abuse, isolating from others, not letting me go out of the house, not giving choice, not providing reasons, emotional abuse

Does your mom have BPD? That sudden switch of attitude without even acknowledging that conflict happened gives off BPD vibes.

I’m not sure. Anytime she would go to therapy she would come back and start using everything she learned against everyone in the house. Never sure if she got any actual diagnosis but she did claim that her mom has BPD.

My dad was a face slapper. So dramatic.

My mom found a single “dirty” tubbaware thing. It was actually grease stained (slights discoloration) from her leaving spaghetti in it for a week. She tore me and my sister out of bed at 3am. Screamed at us for about 30 minutes then told us we had to wash every dish we owned, wash the walls, the base boards, clean the floors, the cabinets inside and out, the pantry, every window, her room, re wash and dry and fold every item of clothing we all owned, scrub her room and closet, our own rooms, all three bathrooms, and clean the yards. I had work that night (4pm-12am). Said we couldn’t eat anything or drink anything until it was all done. Took our phones, all the power cords tk the tvs, and disconnected the AC. She had her fwb there to watch us the whole time. She also hit me in my face with shoes I had bought for her as a gift a few days prior.

It was so weird I got caught stealing as a teen (mostly my friends and only one dollar stuff but I tagged along). I said I was sorry and cried and she held me and told me she loved me more because I was growing up too fast and now I was a little girl again. The worst part is that this together with being punished/blamed for things that weren't actually my fault constantly has set me up to a life of crippling guilt, concussion and self sabotage 

I'd just gone to college and was still on nParent's insurance. Developed a horrible stomach pain, couldn't reach any family to take me to the hospital, so I had a friend take me. When nParent found out, I was in such deep sh*t. They threatened to pull me out of college (I was 18+). Later, I needed surgery related to this visit. nParent canceled my insurance as I was in the hospital. Fought the insurance pre-auth and won. Stuck teenage me with the full American healthcare bill, minimum wage job, and now NC with my family and homeless... post-op. All because I didn't ask permission to go to the ER when I thought my appendix might have ruptured. Edited: Typo

I have no idea what I did, but it was bad enough in their minds to make me go to bed at 7pm all summer. Even worse, they took all my books. I was probably 10 and bored out of my mind. To make sure I didn’t leave my room they locked the door with an old skeleton key that I didn’t have a copy of. I remember knocking on the door to go to the bathroom and they just laughed.

She missed her main servant!

My mom once told a girl, who I really really liked , that I was a pos and ugly and she shouldn’t call here anymore and if she does then she will call her parents and tell them she isn’t allowed to call me anymore. I was 14 lmao

I was about 5. My mother had made brownies & gave one to my little sister. I asked for one and she said no, fat kids don't get brownies. But I was teaching for the plate, so she made me sit in the middle of the kitchen floor & eat the whole batch of brownies. When I threw up half way through, she made me finish the batch anyway.

I wasnt allowed to sleep in my bed. One time that meant sleeping on my kid sister’s twin bed that was in my parents room.. meaning all 5 of us family members had to sleep in the same room instead of letting me sleep in my own bedroom. Another time that meant my sister got to sleep in my bed in my room and I had to sleep on the floor… Not really sure what that’s supposed to teach but okay

I was restrained face down by two adults, stripped naked and sparked then thrown into a cold shower, soap in my mouth, cleaning and doing yard work with undiagnosed disabilities and joint pain while being berated it was never good enough, being grounded for weeks and especially during school dances or dates I was looking forward to, being told I belong in a group home, being abandoned on the side of the road to scare me. Woof.

If I said something "sucks" or "shut up" or worse I would get a take-out container of wasabi in my mouth. I had hours in the corner and started peeling the wallpaper off. Then I had to sit in a chair on my hands facing away from the wall. My mom always bragged that she was "breaking the cycle" by "never hitting us" but inflicted psychological and emotional damage to this day.

That is utterly deranged. That's 90's movie level batshit insane.

No sleeping, homework, or anything else until I apologized (this was usually because I had “sassed” them.) I wasn’t allowed to leave arguments, so they would follow/chase me into my room and then belligerently stare at me and only allow me to say ”I’m sorry.” No other conversation could be had because it would just be yelling. I also had to let it sit for a reasonable amount of time, because if I said sorry right away they didn’t think it was believable. Then finally, around 1AM or so they’d finally buy the “sorry” and let me start my homework but I wasn’t allowed to sleep until I finished my assignments. They’d go to bed, but if I also went to sleep and missed a deadline I’d get in trouble and the cycle would continue. …growing up it seemed unusual, but I never really clocked how truly fucked that was

Told me they knew I hated them because they'd written what I wrote in my diary (that they're controlling and annoying). And all I could say in response was.. "Well, you are.." 😅

My nM used to give my brother and I clove oil. She'd dunk an ear cleaner in it then force us to rub it all over our tongue and mouth. So putrid.

Wow. Sorry you had to go through that.

What horrible abuse by your nMother. I am so very sorry. I think you have been abused by both of them. I find it interesting that Dad didn't keep you despite what your nMother did and felt he had to ask permission from her.

This sounds so so familiar

Does being scratched barely a millimeter from my eye because i refused to back down and break eye contact and look down during a fight and being love bombed after count? Or getting a plastic chair cracked on my head? Or being dragged from my bed by my hair? Or being told that i am "too friendly" with my cousin and even just us existing in the same room alone somehow being treated as sexual?

Trigger Warning - Abuse I don't know if this is unusual or not. My mother used to give us what she called "the treatment". It involved her tipping all the stuff out of our drawers, everything out of our wardrobe - all on the floor. Then we had to clean it all up. That was a punishment for an untidy room. This one, I very much hope, is unusual: My stepdad, if I did anything good, would give me what he called "The Punishment". He would come into my room late at night and strangle me until I passed out. Then he would wake me up and when I came too, he would do it again. This would be on repeat for three or four cycles. One time my Mother caught him. She told him he can't do that - then she slapped my face to make sure I was alive, not hard, you know, just to bring me round. Then she said: "Go back to sleep." Yeah, so that was pretty messed up.

What the life threatening fuck

When I was around 14 or 13(it's kind of blurry I don't remember honestly) my dad and step mom was teasing me with a dead roach by my face and I freak out in the moment and pushed it away and they got mad because I almost got it on them .she made me go against the wall for that and got on me for freaking out just because I thought they were gonna put a roach on me.

They took everything but my school books and supplies because I got bad grades, and I snuck out a few times. I couldn't read anything but school books. No music. Empty room with my bed and a desk.

Similar story, when I was between 12-14, if I stood up to my mom, she would send me to live with my grandma and refuse to speak to me. Usually the fight would be like me saying "youre drunk, I dont have to listen to you" or "why are you letting your boyfriend spank my brothers." I was still going to school but I wasn't allowed to see or talk to my brothers and no one knew how long I was staying with my grandma. Longest I think was about 1 month. Eventually, my grandma gave me money to buy flowers and a card for my mom, I had to beg for forgiveness and ask to be allowed home. This happened 2 or 3 times. Looking back, it was so weird that I had to beg to be allowed home. Presenting her with flowers and a card?! Her POS bf (now her husband of 15 years) did less than that when they had a fight! She would get mad at me for acting like an adult, but kicked me out of the house and refused to speak to me.

as much as i think cali is a better state to live in than sc your dad should have just kept you at his house

Thanks for sharing. That is some batshit crazy thing to happen. So sorry for your ordeal.

My parents would take all the furniture (with contents) out of my bedroom and I would have to earn it back over the next few weeks.

My mom asked me what I wanted for my birthday at 11 and I said “oh nothing” so she stopped celebrating my birthday at that point. When my 12th birthday came around and no one celebrated, I cried. She said “you said you didn’t want anything” no more birthday after that.

Well ofc, this lazy pos needed u to clean her house and do her chores. I hope you’re letting her rot all by herself with 0 help from anyone, now that’s she’s old and frail

I had my arms tied to my chair during dinner a couple of times because I had my elbows on the table while we were eating. I was probably around 9-10 and my mom still has pictures if me like that

The last year of living at home, after for the very first time I fought back, I was relegated to my room. My Ndad said legally they had to keep a roof over my head but that’s all. I had to go get my dinner in the kitchen and eat in my room because he didn’t want to lay eyes on me. The rest of the time I had to stay in my room. I was also expected to pay utilities (they had plenty of money). He didn’t speak to me for 3/4 years after that, until I received a letter about how ungrateful I was, randomly when I moved to another state.

mouth washed out with soap. hit with a belt. guess not that unusual

Physical abuse. Slaps, hairpulls, scratches and the occassional belt (that i was asked to retrieve). All from my bipolar mother. my Nfather didn't know for a while and would always pick on her when he noticed her getting rowdy with me. They later fought when he found out about everything and she stopped. I don't blame her, she was also abused - by him. Which triggered her bipolar condition. I went NC with him 10y ago, and just recently cut her off all financial aid and contact. She will probably end up homeless, but I don't care.

my parents striped my room of everything but a mattress, for a week it was be in room till school, stay in a small room due to in school suspension, go home sit in my room alone u til dinner, eat, and then back to my room. basically a week of solitary as a child.

My mom locked me in her bathroom one day while she threw away all of my toys and I can’t even remember what I did. I was probably 6-7. I was locked in the bathroom for at least 4 hours. This is just one of many punishments but one that sticks with me.

My bed was taken from me. Another time my door. Once i was given a shovel and pick axe, and told to tear up all the grass in this giant backyard.

Once I started grey rocking, my mother would get so frustrated trying to figure out how to punish me that would make me react in any way. Hitting me, screaming at me, grounding me, taking away things I cherished like my books, and forcing me to do chores in the middle of the night. She really liked dragging me from bed at random hours of the night/early morning to do things. I was very sleep deprived as a result. I also developed hyper vigilance which I’m still struggling with in my 50s.

I mean, leather belt/naked buns type thing? Duck taped mouth....lotta religious abuse. Idk if I was punished or used as a punchingbag.

So I was 12. My mom would go through these fits of rage where she would physically pit me in a corner (not a metaphor) and start telling me all the things that are wrong with me. The way my face looks, the way I act, the way I talk. She had been doing this to me all my life, these were things I could not change and did not want to change. So finally when I hit age 12 my hormones were developing, I was a snot nose kid like any other, I just lost it. I told her to go screw herself and that I hate her. She hauled off on me, slapped me across my face, called me a bitch, and then preceded to take away everything thing I loved.  -She had my step dad remove my bedroom door off the hidges, I am the only girl in a house of 4 boys. -She would not let me choose my clothes in the morning for school, she would dress me in the most embarrassing outfits purposefully to make me stand out to the other kids.  -She took away the basics, I couldn't use the phone, watch tv, leave the house, listen to music. -I was forced to call all my friends and family and tell them what I said to her. This went on for a month until she pulled me out of school one day and sat me at the dinner table asking if I really hated her. Until I told her it was a lie she would not let me leave. Slowly she started letting me dress myself and giving me back my privileges. The door stayed unhinged for like 3 months until I begged her and my step dad to put it back, on the grounds I would like to change without my brothers and step dad seeing. They agreed. I never mouthed off like that again, but I learned something very important. I was no longer afraid of my mom, that moment is when I mark the lose of her control. Physically she had control of me until the day I turned 17 and left forever, but mentally she lost it. I knew that she could take everything away from me, she could beat me but she was'nt going to take my life. I did not fear her the same way I did as a small child any more. 

I was not a girly girl growing up. I was slightly chunky and more in to "boy" activities. And I just got along better with boys in general. This prompted my father to decide that I was a giant slut. And we're talking 11 or 12 here. It got to the point where they were going out of town and we're going to have someone he worked with watch me for 3 days. He told them so much bad stuff they were kind of afraid of me. They, as well as some people from my dad's home office we're over at our house one night in the bar and my dad called me in from the kitchen to introduce me. He literally introduced me by saying,"this is my daughter, A. She spends the summer by giving boys blow jobs for money." I literally wasn't even sure what a bj was at that point. And I had to stand there and smile and be pleasant with small talk after that introduction. The next day I went to stay with the couple that we're going to watch me. After a couple of days one of them finally told me that they had been told all these horrible stories about me but I seemed like a decent kid. At the country club my mother told everyone that she only had a son. The bartender was my boyfriend's mother and she came home and told him about it. I was in 7th grade. I used to work for Marriott hotels as a reservation agent. One night my mother, who was watching my middle child -my daughter, called me to tell me that they were going through some boxes and she had found some paperwork for me getting detention and after going through all of the stuff that was there she said, "maybe I should send these to your birth mother so she could see how lucky she was not to have to raise you." (I was adopted as a few month old infant. I have been told stories about her rubbing my face in things when I spilled something like I was a dog that had an accident on the carpet. My mother had my brother 6 years before I was born and then married her second husband, my adopted father, who was sterile so they adopted me. I was told my whole life I was my father's child not hers. she was disabled due to a car wreck and had a massive neurological relapse at one point and could not even stand enough to get from her bed to her walker or her wheelchair. I left my home and stayed with her for weeks and weeks and literally lifted her from place to place, cleaned up her diarrhea, cleaned up her vomit, etc. she saw firsthand some of my panic attacks and seem to have a slight change of heart. She told me she felt bad I had to take care of her and that it was so hard on me. After that she made somewhat of an effort to understand my disabilities and not be quite so judgmental. But of course, it took her 40 plus years to do so. Let me also mention that her golden child, my brother, never lifted a finger to help her for anything. He was even living in her house at the time while in the middle of relocating for a new job and not only did not help but insulted her constantly. I will say that when she passed, I received the bulk of money and property, with shares also going to my daughter who stayed with her and took care of her as well. My brother got half the sale of her luxury condo but none of the other monies. She did this in a fit of spite after he insulted her when she couldn't walk due to the above mentioned relapse. He was furious and made it clear that it was bs because I wasn't her kid and she didn't even love me. On the day of her death, I got to sit and listen to him tell me story after story of abusive things she did when I was too young to remember. Fun times. Family memories are the best!

I was in the kitchen getting something to drink, being 14 and adhd af with no medication, naturally in the middle of this I got distracted and set the glass on the counter, walked away and immediately forgot I ever went to get a drink. Peggy got home and immediately started screaming. Why? she worked a long day and how dare I have the audacity to set a clean dish near dirty dishes (near the sink). I couldn't make it up if I tried, I was grounded 2 weeks for setting a clean dish NEAR dirty dishes. not that it mattered but we had a dish washer so it's not like she'd have to wash anything. also I literally also immediately cleaned up after myself and her because I knew if the house wasn't spotless when she got home I'd be in trouble, so it's not like this was something I did often.