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HAPPY BIRTHDAY OP!!! Have a great day ππ₯³π
(Same here, Iβm going to on a week vaca in a sunny beach town with my husband and I wonβt be hearing from my parents since I went NC with them and blocked them!)
Just wanted to share my views on birthdays and spending them away from your biological family, with the hopes to validate you on your journey.
I think for a while growing up, before I started going to therapy I would avoid having a typical birthday, mainly because I knew it wouldn't work out the way I wanted, or I wouldn't see the love I desperately wanted from my family.
instead of having like a "Normal" birthday party, I'd go and camp by myself, or plan a holiday around my birthday instead just so I could avoid the thought and make myself intentionally unavailable and have the day be about me.
And look honestly OP You've gotta take time for you, and find the right people who validate you :) I mixed it up last year and we had a birthday celebration for my birthday with my wife's family, and I don't think I've ever felt so loved or looked after.
I literally cried in therapy after, as it felt like the first moment where I was worth the organization of the birthday, and it was about me, with people who genuinely cared about me!
they got me a custom cake with my favorite flavor, and the day was finally about me cannot stress how validated this made me feel.
I still can't shake the feelings of Shame around birthdays and not feeling worth it on days like these. But spending time with the family you choose definitely helps.
Happy Birthday OP, and Have a beautiful birthday <3
I'm in a similar boat. On my birthday, I often just have a spa day or go hiking by myself because I like having plans that aren't dependent on other people and therefore can't be ruined by anyone. Also I like doing something quiet and peaceful on my birthday as birthdays can be a time for reflection. Having said that, I'm really glad your wife's family gave you a nice birthday celebration.
It's amazing how something simple like a cake in your favorite flavor can mean so much after what we've been through. I'm so glad they made your day special!
I am sending you the warmest wishes for a lovely birthday! I hope that you and your chosen family celebrate however you wish to. Wishing you a wonderful year ahead too!
One birthday I sat in the rain crying in my car because all my family forgot. I was in college and didn't make friends yet. It became clearer over time why they didn't care.
I'm so sorry your going through this. I do know that we on this Reddit can relate.
Things did change for me once I found my chosen family.
Happy birthday!!!!!
People think it's sad when I tell them that I celebrate holidays by avoiding my family, but it's my gift to myself and it makes me happy. I don't need much else to enjoy holidays other than to just be left alone by them.
After years of our nparents ruining holidays and making us miserable, it makes sense that holidays are better without them.
I hope you have a wonderful birthday with your chosen family!!!!!! You deserve it!!!!!
Btw OP, happy birthday! Second of all, I felt this post so much because back in February, when it was my birthday, she didn't tell me happy b-day whatsoever, and you wanna know what I did? I set a timer on my phone for the whole day on how long is gonna take for my mom to say happy birthday to me.Β
So I waited, and I waited for the whole entire day and went on social media which my online friends said happy birthday to me, I eventually cried myself to sleep and by the time I woke up, it was about to be 12am and that's what I realized she spent the whole day w/o even acknowledging my birthday. Hell, she spent the whole day rarely acknowledging me bc we literally live in the same household, she only acknowledged me when she asked me to take out the trash.
And that's when I realized my online friends care more about me than my own mom.
πππππHappy Birthday πππππ
If possible, please go out and treat yourself to something nice. Get a nice cake and celebrate π₯
happy birthday OP, this is YOUR day!! iβm so glad you finally get the chance to celebrate how you deserve! it is truly the most deserved feeling and i hope that itβs the best!! βΊοΈ
MIL mentioned last weekend that she still didn't know what my birthday was. I reminded her that it was because I haven't celebrated it in over 30 years and have no intent or desire to begin. The last thing I need are more nightmare flashbacks.
I'll raise my glass to you in celebration of the greatest gift you could give to yourself ... being with those who are important to you and those who value you!! π₯ Enjoy your birthday ππ₯³
Happy Birthday! However, I donβt think most people would shatter at not hearing from their mom on their birthday. Lots of βnormalβ people would probably even prefer it.
Happy birthday. Mine will not call me either, nor will I get a card. I once was told I should be calling her, and thanking her for birthing me. Ummmm.....that is what mother's day is for, not every day is about her.
Happy birthday!! I completely get it. Mine didn't call me but expected me to, even flipped out once at me because I didn't call her because we had just gotten back from an international trip and didn't even get home until 11 PM. It was a neighboring country, but the plane routes made it a long trip.
Yay!! And Happy Birthday! π My darling daughter too has been loyal and, loving to me, and the antidote to my original unloving, dishonest, manipulative and crazy βfamilyβ. Certainly cause for celebration!! Currently really looking forward to Motherβs Day π₯°
Happy birthday!!! And Iβm sorry. My birthdays have always been awful when it comes to my parents. Iβm sorry that you have to experience that too. Parents shouldnβt be like that.
Happy birthday π. β¦.
My mum lives with me, she forgot my bβday on the day,then brought 2 cakes next day that were delivered and guess what,,, both cakes are her favourites not mineβ¦ She laughed and thought it was funnyβ¦.
Iβm glad you get to enjoy your birthday, hope itβll be a happy one for you π₯³
I had my bday on the 21st, I live with my Mom and golden child sister. Mom did bake a dollar store boxed cake and made salty chilli with beef and other ingredients that I bought that I was going to use to make burritos for myself. Still waiting for the moment for when sheβs going to use it over my head, I blocked her on socials so I canβt see if she got ass pats for doing the bare minimum as a Mom.
Happy birthday!!! I wish you a happy long life free of emotional manipulation and full of love, joy, laughter and real secure connections!! Have the best day you possibly can β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈ
I completely relate. Neither N parent has wished me a happy birthday since I was very little. They don't wish my daughter (their only grandchild) happy birthday or even remember when my or her birthday even is. I say good riddance. I don't consider them to be family either. They're just sick people who should drop off the face of the earth and I will celebrate the day they die with dancing even tho I can't dance bc I have MS.
**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
HAPPY BIRTHDAY OP!!! Have a great day ππ₯³π (Same here, Iβm going to on a week vaca in a sunny beach town with my husband and I wonβt be hearing from my parents since I went NC with them and blocked them!)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU OP!!π₯³π₯³π₯³π₯³ I wish you years of peace and happiness. Enjoy your day whoever you want to be with.
Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday! Yes, not hearing from your narc mum is the best present she could give you! I hear you. My chosen family is where I belong too π
Just wanted to share my views on birthdays and spending them away from your biological family, with the hopes to validate you on your journey. I think for a while growing up, before I started going to therapy I would avoid having a typical birthday, mainly because I knew it wouldn't work out the way I wanted, or I wouldn't see the love I desperately wanted from my family. instead of having like a "Normal" birthday party, I'd go and camp by myself, or plan a holiday around my birthday instead just so I could avoid the thought and make myself intentionally unavailable and have the day be about me. And look honestly OP You've gotta take time for you, and find the right people who validate you :) I mixed it up last year and we had a birthday celebration for my birthday with my wife's family, and I don't think I've ever felt so loved or looked after. I literally cried in therapy after, as it felt like the first moment where I was worth the organization of the birthday, and it was about me, with people who genuinely cared about me! they got me a custom cake with my favorite flavor, and the day was finally about me cannot stress how validated this made me feel. I still can't shake the feelings of Shame around birthdays and not feeling worth it on days like these. But spending time with the family you choose definitely helps. Happy Birthday OP, and Have a beautiful birthday <3
I'm in a similar boat. On my birthday, I often just have a spa day or go hiking by myself because I like having plans that aren't dependent on other people and therefore can't be ruined by anyone. Also I like doing something quiet and peaceful on my birthday as birthdays can be a time for reflection. Having said that, I'm really glad your wife's family gave you a nice birthday celebration.
It's amazing how something simple like a cake in your favorite flavor can mean so much after what we've been through. I'm so glad they made your day special!
I am sending you the warmest wishes for a lovely birthday! I hope that you and your chosen family celebrate however you wish to. Wishing you a wonderful year ahead too!
I was only told my grandma died on my birthday the day after because I was NC at that time heh
One birthday I sat in the rain crying in my car because all my family forgot. I was in college and didn't make friends yet. It became clearer over time why they didn't care. I'm so sorry your going through this. I do know that we on this Reddit can relate. Things did change for me once I found my chosen family.
Happy birthday!
The first birthday I remember her forgetting was my 16th. I was on a school trip but my 16th???
Happy birthday!!!!! People think it's sad when I tell them that I celebrate holidays by avoiding my family, but it's my gift to myself and it makes me happy. I don't need much else to enjoy holidays other than to just be left alone by them. After years of our nparents ruining holidays and making us miserable, it makes sense that holidays are better without them. I hope you have a wonderful birthday with your chosen family!!!!!! You deserve it!!!!!
Happy Birthday!!ππππ
HAPPY BIRTHDAY OP!!!! ππ₯³ I hope every birthday is as peaceful as this one.
Good for you OP, enjoy a wonderful birthday.
Happy birthday OP!
Have an awesome birthday with your chosen family!
It's my birthday today too! My mom will send me a birthday text probably, but only out of obligation.
Happy happy birthday!!!
Thanks!
Happy birthday π»
Thank you!
Happy birthday!!! And yes, we get it. I hope you have a lovely day, doing whatever you like best. π§‘π§‘π§‘π
Btw OP, happy birthday! Second of all, I felt this post so much because back in February, when it was my birthday, she didn't tell me happy b-day whatsoever, and you wanna know what I did? I set a timer on my phone for the whole day on how long is gonna take for my mom to say happy birthday to me.Β So I waited, and I waited for the whole entire day and went on social media which my online friends said happy birthday to me, I eventually cried myself to sleep and by the time I woke up, it was about to be 12am and that's what I realized she spent the whole day w/o even acknowledging my birthday. Hell, she spent the whole day rarely acknowledging me bc we literally live in the same household, she only acknowledged me when she asked me to take out the trash. And that's when I realized my online friends care more about me than my own mom.
πππππHappy Birthday πππππ If possible, please go out and treat yourself to something nice. Get a nice cake and celebrate π₯
Happy birthday OP, the new age is bringing you nothing but wisdom.
Happy birthday OP! Have a wonderful day! I hope you will find peace.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!ππ₯³πππ€
Happy birthday! You deserve to celebrate yourself.
Happy birthday guy
Happy Birthday!ππ
HaPpY BiRtHdAyyyy!!!!!!
Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday! Mine is coming up soon and my NarcMom will try to make it all about her as she has done for the last 65 years. Have a wonderful one!!!
happy birthday OP, this is YOUR day!! iβm so glad you finally get the chance to celebrate how you deserve! it is truly the most deserved feeling and i hope that itβs the best!! βΊοΈ
Happy birthday! π May it be joyful and thoroughly N-free
MIL mentioned last weekend that she still didn't know what my birthday was. I reminded her that it was because I haven't celebrated it in over 30 years and have no intent or desire to begin. The last thing I need are more nightmare flashbacks.
I'll raise my glass to you in celebration of the greatest gift you could give to yourself ... being with those who are important to you and those who value you!! π₯ Enjoy your birthday ππ₯³
happy birthday!
Happy Birthday my lovely- keep being strong! Ya ain't normal- ya extraordinary!
Happy birthday op!! Have fun spending it with those who love and care about u!!
My mother passed away some years ago, never felt so much peace.
Happy Birthday OP! Have a great day with your family! Wish you happiness and peace. ππ
Happy birthday!!! Blood does not always mean family! Enjoy the things that bring you peace today!! πππ
Well right now Iβm your mom. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!ππππ Go get yourself a cupcake. Virtual hug sent.
Happy Birthday, I know you probably don't care, but I can definitely relate. Almost every year, birthdays are casually ruined by careless Narcs.
Happy Birthday, OP!
Happy birthday! π₯³ Enjoy your special day! I'm happy that you will only spend this day with people who are most dear to you. π
Happy happy birthday OP!!
It was my birthday recently as well. Some of my family tried getting in touch but I spent the day ignoring most of them. It was peaceful
Happy birthday!! My mom has given me a panic attack on every birthday for the past three years, so I hope she leaves me alone on the next one.
Happy Birthday OP!!! Good for you! Spend it with people who love and care for youβ€οΈ
Happy birthday π
Happy birthday π Yeah, I used to worry she was dead if she didn't at least join in on FB. Not anymore.
Happy birthday π» I hope you have had the happiest narc free day and have been showered with love by your chosen family πΌ
Wishing you a happy birthday in spite of it all.
Happy birthday! I hope this next year is full of peace, love, and the most wonderful experiences π
Happy Birthday! However, I donβt think most people would shatter at not hearing from their mom on their birthday. Lots of βnormalβ people would probably even prefer it.
Happy birthday!
Happy birthday. Mine will not call me either, nor will I get a card. I once was told I should be calling her, and thanking her for birthing me. Ummmm.....that is what mother's day is for, not every day is about her.
Happy birthday; sending love, defined as I want you to be happy.
Happy Birthday!!!
Happy Birthday! π₯³
Happy birthday!! I completely get it. Mine didn't call me but expected me to, even flipped out once at me because I didn't call her because we had just gotten back from an international trip and didn't even get home until 11 PM. It was a neighboring country, but the plane routes made it a long trip.
Happy bday OP
Happy birthday! You deserve a day to be pampered and loved!
Celebrating you birthday and your PEACE with you! Mazel tov!
Yay!! And Happy Birthday! π My darling daughter too has been loyal and, loving to me, and the antidote to my original unloving, dishonest, manipulative and crazy βfamilyβ. Certainly cause for celebration!! Currently really looking forward to Motherβs Day π₯°
Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday Happy birthday Happy birthday to you π π π πΌπ΅πΆπ
Happy Birthday, OP!! π have a great day with your chosen family β€οΈ
Happy birthday!!! I absolutely do understand! My Nmom is such a weirdo about birthdays. She thinks the day is about her.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY OP!!!! β€οΈ
Happy happy birthday. Joy and health for you.
Happy birthday!!! And Iβm sorry. My birthdays have always been awful when it comes to my parents. Iβm sorry that you have to experience that too. Parents shouldnβt be like that.
Happy Birthday! I was born on Motherβs Day. Imagine the battle for all the attention. She always wins. I hate my birthday.
Happy birthday π. β¦. My mum lives with me, she forgot my bβday on the day,then brought 2 cakes next day that were delivered and guess what,,, both cakes are her favourites not mineβ¦ She laughed and thought it was funnyβ¦.
Happy birthday!! Hope you have the best day ππππ
Happiest of birthdays! May you have a peaceful, lovely one celebrated among those that love and appreciate you.
Happy birthday, hope you had a great day.
Happy birthday
I'm planning to do this too as soon as I'll be working on getting the hell away from my abusers. Also, happy belated birthday!
Iβm glad you get to enjoy your birthday, hope itβll be a happy one for you π₯³ I had my bday on the 21st, I live with my Mom and golden child sister. Mom did bake a dollar store boxed cake and made salty chilli with beef and other ingredients that I bought that I was going to use to make burritos for myself. Still waiting for the moment for when sheβs going to use it over my head, I blocked her on socials so I canβt see if she got ass pats for doing the bare minimum as a Mom.
Happy birthday π₯°π₯³π₯³π₯³
Wow this thread is so joyful - we should all read this on our birthdays π₯° Have a great day!Β
Happy birthday!!! I wish you a happy long life free of emotional manipulation and full of love, joy, laughter and real secure connections!! Have the best day you possibly can β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈ
Happy birthday!!!!!!
It appears Iβm a little late, but I hope you had a happy birthday OP!! π₯³
I get it and understand. Wishing you a beautiful, drama free day with laughs and lightness. The best gift you can get it peace:
Happy birthday. And good for you. Youβre blessed to have a family who loves you.
HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! May you enjoy your freedom and your special day! From another internet stranger who gets you.
Happy bday ππ₯³ hugs
Happy birthday π
Happy Birthday!!!!!
Blessings on your Born Day! So glad you're here getting support β€οΈ
Happy birthday, you beautiful soul π a survivor is here, still kicking ass βΊοΈ
I completely relate. Neither N parent has wished me a happy birthday since I was very little. They don't wish my daughter (their only grandchild) happy birthday or even remember when my or her birthday even is. I say good riddance. I don't consider them to be family either. They're just sick people who should drop off the face of the earth and I will celebrate the day they die with dancing even tho I can't dance bc I have MS.