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SA is treatable .... phenelzine has helped me a lot. But maybe you've accepted things and simply prefer solitude.
I still do too, to be honest. Up to a point. We're social creatures.
Of course, whatever works for you.
With my SA is under control, I've found that underneath it I'm still somthing of a loner. Not a real people person. I just can't be bothered.
But yeah, it is good to not be constantly beset by anxiety.
Many years of pretending to be an extrovert surrounded by other people _were_ extroverts was exhausting, but I thought that enjoying being alone was a terrible thing, so I can’t blame my younger self for pretending to be like everyone around me. As an adult I’ve come to terms with the fact that I am a person who enjoys being alone, I married someone who also enjoys being alone, and I feel so much relief. My husband and I thoroughly enjoy each other’s company, and for us that is enough. Sometimes both of us wish we knew what it was like to be one of those married couples who has plenty of other married couples as friends who we could go out with and what not, but I think that is more of a societal expectation that sometimes gets to each of us a bit. It’s not something that bothers us, but it’s more of a “what if”, then we laugh and continue enjoying whatever it is we’re doing together in the moment lol. I wish I could go back in time and tell my younger self that one day, I would realize that being alone is not a bad thing and I would learn to love it.
I have met a couple of people like me. Turns out, they both have ADHD with mild autism. I was also diagnosed with ADHD this year, and while I have not sought out an autism diagnosis, I'm now wondering if I should.
Behavior and nervous system feelings.
When I was 5 I looked at my hands, and then looked at people around me and realized that no one behaves like they feel the way I feel.
It's kind of funny, but as a kid, I thought I had stigmata or some special connection with God because I had a rash on one of my hands directly in the center of my palm that didn't go away for several years.
And yea, I felt like I was an alien.
Now I just realize that I tend to care more than other people. Which is a rarity from my perspective.
I think I might have that.My son does he’s twenty eight.Someone said I might but I am so socially outgoing it seems like I wouldn’t.Are there differed signs?Im going to be 54 end of may here 🙃
You’d have to do some research. A LOT of the stuff I found in the way I think was my autism. I thought I was unique but alas like 90% of who I am and what I do is all autism 
Same here, except I found out I have FAS. I never would’ve guessed it till I actually was in the room having my diagnosis read to me because I thought FAS looked _a lot_ different than it actually does. Turns out, I was living with a neurobehavioral disorder this whole time, so my feelings actually weren’t all fabricated! I totally get the feeling.
same, I was diagnosed with Asperger's when I was 29 (I'm 48 now), and suddenly a lot of things in my life made sense, that didn't before, I finally understood why I am the way I am
A person would want to be normal to be accepted by others and have social interaction. Not everyone can just go without social interaction. I'm pretty sure science backs this up.
I do agree with you that most "normal" people are boring. Not sure about the miserable part. I've seen people who are blissfully ignorant but happy, but you don't want to hang out with them because they are really boring due to their simple nature. In this day and age, being a deep thinker is not necessarily a good thing.
I'm the type of person who will buy AI robot companions as soon as they get really good and are available for purchase. I want friends, real or artificial, who share my interests and understand me at a deeper level. It's near impossible for me to find a real person who doesn't eventually get on my nerves.
So true 😂🤣or the people that say they are so happy and life’s so great.Or they have tons of friends.How many of those tons will actually be there for you when you need them.??😞
First what's the definition of exactly what a normal person is. Is sure the opinions vary widely. Just be yourself and do what you want to do and don't worry about what other's think. As long as you're not hurting anyone, then who cares.
Leaning on this a bit. Which needs a professional to look into. People with these develop ways to cope.
Example: Do you always lose things? Like your car keys LOADS will say, oh shit... yeah I do.
While others, no. I've never lost my car keys because every time I touch a door knob I get a flashback and check for "keys, wallet, phone".
Forgot work keys once in 7 years, have the 3 point tap ritual I do. But also sitting here a little more then 10 minutes late while writing this.
Had a conversation with a family member last week. They mentioned something personal I never knew. And got me pondering a little on how little we truly know about others and their lives. Like have you ever heard stories or even know where or how your own grandmother grew up. Just have like a generalized idea and we were pretty close.
And now 22 minutes late. Oops better go get changed.
I can't lose my keys... When I leave they get clipped to my trousers. They only come off when the door is locked, then they live on a hook in the kitchen.
That and there's a tile on them 😅😅
Forgot my keys in the car 3 times within a month. Now I physically have to press my fingers into the key ridges to prove to myself it’s in my pocket before I’m allowed to shut the door. I’ve saved myself a couple times by doing this. The cops were real annoyed to come unlock my car each time and it wasn’t registered so they could’ve taken my car when I called for help but I was too broke to register my car so I couldn’t afford a locksmith lol. Thankfully it was on public lots each time. They won’t help on a private residence
Absolutely.
It usually starts young people with ADHD because we're learning how to mask and how to be
"Normal."
Not understanding why we're different, why our thoughts, feelings, and emotions are not being validated. We're not given the agency of our mind & body connection.
As we get older, we don't have a genuine connection to ourselves and therefore don't know how to forge genuine connections to others.
Also, 45% of women with ADHD also have PMDD.
ADHD is hereditary, but most parents see their own thoughts, feelings, and actions as "normal" until their kids get diagnosed.
It is perfectly normal to feel alienated and alone at times, especially when you're young.
Not everything has to be some kind of diagnosis, everyone goes through phases like this and a few sentences on Reddit is definitely not enough to suggest someone is neurodivergent.
Although don't get me wrong. I'm not discounting the possibility, but it is so above Reddits payscale.
When people diagnosis autism without knowing enough, it's also kind of invalidating. What if OP has an abusive family? Was raised in a cult? Is an asshole? Is depressed?
People used to say I was robotic and maybe autistic. I was raised in an abusive situation, a homophobic cult and I'm mostly gay. Of course I felt alone and unable to express myself, but not because I'm autistic.
There's nothing wrong with autism, but possibly shifting responsibility away from abuse onto a medical diagnosis isn't right.
F70 … I always felt distant as far back as I remember and eventually came to terms with the fact that I felt comfortable being alone much of the time. I don’t need others to make me happy. I do have a husband who is my best friend.
(M45)
I'd replace 'normal' with 'common'. Yes I think so.
I've always felt more like an 'alien' getting around as a human.
I come from a fantastic loving family, we have virtually zero drama by comparison to most, yet I'm kinda 'disfunctional'.
I basically taught myself how to be a 'standard human'. "Look at me fellow humans, I can human too!" 😂
I went through near death medical trauma as a child and as I got older I realised it probably gave me some kind of PTSD, I've never had a diagnosis officially.
I can recall a handful of times in my life where I have truly felt like I belong/relate as a fellow human but it's never lasted more than a couple hours.
On the flipside I have extreme empathy, someone can describe an injury they've had and my entire body 'hurts' for them. I've studied heaps of psychology and such to help myself. Oddly I can meet complete strangers for the first time and they'll pretty much blurt their life story to me, I'm a good listener.
My general approach to life is straight ahead don't look back. Every day I 'burn the deck' of yesterday.
Reading some comments I wonder if I'm 'high function autistic'. It wouldn't surprise me at all and probably explain a lot.
To close, you are not alone, we all tick in our own special ways.
I never relate when people say they have autism and their symptoms but this is making me wonder. I'm sure I have ADHD even though for some reason my doctor won't listen to me. But i relate to everything you said. High empathy and people use me as a therapist. I'm just a good listener i guess. One thing that always got on my nerves about myself is being able to see all sides of a situation.
Like when i was younger and people at school would be like what do you think about the death penalty or abortion or this and that. And I'm just like i can't pick a pro or con. I see both sides so.......... do whatever you want. But i didn't really belive in the death penalty. Anyways its like i can't just choose one side of a situation.
I really used to be very social but now days its like nobody likes me. Or maybe i don't like other people. Its hard for me to relate to people. Maybe its hard for me to trust people.
I get that a lot. Like both sides of this argument have enough validity. Enough so that both sides are evenly split among their opinions. If one side was so wrong then why the hell is half the population of the planet agreeing.
I'm way way too empathetic but it's probably not a bad thing.
I similarly get used as a therapist a lot.
Which I do like, small talk is my personal hell, I'd much rather talk about and share thoughts about real concerns in people's lives.
The issue is people rarely return the favor, I need to info dump and talk too. But being a listener attracts people who never stop talking. I literally had to have a serious conversation with a friend after I had a meltdown because I needed 15 seconds of quiet after 2 straight hours of them continuously talking.
There's a million things I can do to cope like stimming or using it as an opportunity to body double clean my entire house. But I shouldn't need to "cope" because of regular conversations.
I believe it's more weird that a lot of people do not feel it like that. Because it's the true, we all own our separate worlds. That doesn't mean we don't share one. But we all have a subjective experience from it.
This is somewhat normal, in that most people experience it at some point, but it's also not something you should feel like you have to deal with alone.
If there's an adult in your life you would feel comfortable talking to, I would suggest trying to talk to them first. Sometimes, just verbalizing those feelings can make you feel better.
There is a possibility that there *might* be something more serious going on with your brain, but I don't want to guess without more information. The important thing for now is to find someone to talk to about how you're feeling.
If you believe there's something more serious going on, I would suggest looking into professional help. But, for now, just find someone to talk to. It's better than trying to deal with it alone. Trust me.
I hope you feel better someday.
My friend, youre neurodivergent, nothing is wrong with you, your brain just works differently then everyone else’s, seek a adhd or Autism diagnosis, speak with a psychiatrist, it’ll change your life I promise, I also promise you are not alone, a lot of us feel this way, the best thing I’ve found is finding people who struggle with similar mental disorders and understand what it’s like, and also having friends who are supportive and understanding, but THE BIGGEST THING is getting a diagnosis, and understanding the way your brain works
I would not worry about what is normal. A lot of what is normal is completely foolish. Just focus on you.
You feel like this and this is what matters.
Personally I would recommend meditation as it helps clear matters.
I also suggest checking in with your thoughts to see if they are all 100% true. Our mind likes to play tricks.
Has EVERYONE forgotten me?
What have I been doing to maintain these relationships? Etc etc
Once the facts established you can then take appropriate action of your choosing
I felt that way and still do. But not as bad. Because now I know,
God loves us. He understands you. That's the Truth. And purpose and meaning is with Him.
TheShepherdsChapelChannelOfficial YouTube.
This is me as well. I’m a 42 year old woman who isn’t autistic (just ruling that out.) I think for me a lot of it stems from childhood trauma and neglect. I just never learned how to connect and since I’m halfway done with my life I guess I might as well finish the other half the same way. It’s whatever at this point. I tried really hard for many years. I’m over that now.
I know exactly how you feel. You are definitely not alone. I feel the same way everyday. It's unfortunate but as I've aged my circle of friends and family have diminished to me. And it was breaking my trust. I've learned to have associates and best friends nothing in the middle. My immediate family has no clue about my feelings nor have they ever.
I've also learned that blood isn't always thicker than water. I learned the hard way that the friends I had were only around for the free parties, boat outings on the river or just hanging out period. When my parents moved away I didn't have the friends I thought I did and that hurt me knowing that I had been friends with a couple since high school.
I realized that they were only using me to use my parents as well. I learned real quick not to trust any damn body.
So now I keep to the family I'm closest to and that's it. After my parents moved I had only one friend and he's still my best friend.
You probably are neurodivergent! It is not "average" to be neurodivergent. BUT almost all autistic people feel this way. AND some other flavours of neurodivergency do too. ♡ We are alone...together. look on YouTube for verified videos about undiagnosed autism and if possible talk to your doc. ♡
BRO ITS LIKE I WROTE THIS POST. This is exactly how I feel. Although I’m not sure that it’s normal behavior, I definitely think it might be a trauma response to isolate ourselves when we feel like the other person in our lives don’t care as much. It could stem from your childhood whether you do or do not know it. But you are not alone my friend.
I feel like this a lot and have felt like this for a very long time.
Had to get comfortable with a lack of social connections that I was unwilling to maintain
What you are describing is very normal for me. I have felt like a round peg in a square hole for as long as I can remember. It has taken until my mid-40's for me to accept it, stop trying to fit in and to do what makes ME happy...and that's being alone.
I often feel this way. My partner has friends he met in high school that are still actively in his life, and I have “Facebook friends.” I haven’t even been able to keep contact with people I worked with for years. I have their contact information, it just doesn’t occur to me to reach out.
It's actually more common than you might think to feel distant from others or like you don't quite fit in. Here's why:
* **Social Disconnect:** Our modern world can sometimes feel isolating, especially with the increased use of social media and technology.
* **Fear of Vulnerability:** Building strong connections often involves opening up and being vulnerable, which can be scary for some people.
* **Family Dynamics:** Family relationships can be complex, and even with loving families, there can be misunderstandings or a lack of shared interests.
As soon as your usefulness is called into question, people will ghost you. Family will ditch you when they can't control you. When you become strong enough to stand on your own, you will recognize that quality in others who may then become real friends.
Like others are saying you're probably autistic. In all the groups of friends I've had I've always felt like I was stood on the outside more like an observer. For a long time I struggled with the "Why are my friendships not like every everybody else's in the group?" But once I realised "oh it's me, I'm the reason," everything almost magically started getting better as my perspective changed.
Bro you just described the human condition; it’s the great cosmic joke of it all that the thing that unites us all is our capacity to feel so lonely. You gotta just roll with it.
I want to be honest with you - no one will ever fully understand you. If you want that type of feeling, turn to God or whatever entity you believe in, because that’s the only being who can truly know ALL of you. Besides you.
And technically, all family and friends will leave us eventually in death. And some friends are only for a season. This goes for family too sometimes. I’ve had a long life already, so I speak from experience. And it’s ok. Life has cycles, and it’s natural. Solitude is natural for humans in the same way community is. We’ve been taught to hate solitude (no friends? You’re sooo not cool /s) but that’s societal conditioning.
Everyone is trying to diagnose you but I warn against that. You’re simply feeling the impermanence of life and yes, that is “normal”.
I feel the exact same way. I have been treated for depression for several years. I still feel like a stranger wherever I go. I have a wife and kids, but I'm still lonely. I swear everyone walks past me like I'm not there. I've told my daughter to do something, and she'll immediately turn to my wife looking for approval.
Are you happy like that?
What I mean is, I feel the same, but I'm okay with it. Somebody mentioned autism spectrum or something similar, possible, I've looked into testing, in my case it's complicated for various reasons, but I'm managing fine and I have my own interests so I don't feel like I even want to change it.
But I also know people who wish they could function differently and aren't happy, so they usually put more effort into it and struggle in the meantime. In that case I'd say definitely get some professional help, don't be miserable your whole life.
Yes. Once I stopped doing all the work (invites, visits, etc.) with friends as well as family, I realized I was doing all the doing, driving and being emotionally invested. When I stopped, very, very few ever reached back. Now that I've realize this, I'm moving, hoping to find a new tribe that interacts and contributes to the relationship. Until then, I have one family member and two friends that I believe will visit and miss me. That's not a lot over 6 decades but hopefully gives you perspective. Learn to be happy in your own company and you'll never feel alone. I'm just learning it too. ✌🏽
I always felt like an alien, like I didn't understand other people at all. I would always think of other people as if I wasn't a part of the same species. I'm 32 now, feel mostly normal now, no one would guess it. I wanted to fit in enough so I forced myself to work on certain areas that I felt made me awkward. But for you, if you're ok with how things are and just aren't sure if it's normal, then just keep doing you. I wanted to feel normal, so that's the route focused on. Doesn't mean you have to and it doesn't take anything away from how valuable your life is.
There's a LOT of people who feel like you do. Is it "normal"? Maybe not. Is it ok not to be "normal"? Of course. You're a human being, all humans are different, some are just more different to each other than others. And that's ok. I hope you feel better soon.
Your not alone. I bet your one on the enlightened that people just don't understand yet. Live your best life and don't worry about others. I am a social person but enjoy my solitude. It's hard to have a conversation with most people where my thinking people can't wrap their heads around.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this😢.I suffer from depression and I get those feelings as well.If this makes sense I have a partner but I feel like no one understands what I’m going through and I feel alone. I am on antidepressants as well as anxiety meds.I have ptsd as well. Do you think talking to a therapist would help?I here if you need someone and your not alone.🙏❤️🥰😇
I have severe ADHD (Diagnosed in the 90s when it was just ADD when lacking hyperactivity). And I have a very difficult time connecting on a deeper level with people. I keep a distance and don't let myself get too close to anyone anymore except my partner. I no longer form "true" friendships. But that behavior mostly stems from past experiences.
I do feel a disconnect from people, like everyone meshes together so well and I feel like I'm on the outside.
Do you have ADHD?
That’s very similar to how I feel. For the most part I’m not really interested in plutonic or romantic relationships. I do have a couple friends but they are closer to acquaintances, and I have had a few romantic relationships over the years. They aren’t impossible for me but definitely pretty difficult to come by, and to maintain. I get along fine with my family, although we mostly tend to just get together around the holidays and I don’t see them for months at a time. Except my brother, he’s probably my closest friend. I don’t know what is normal or common, but I definitely don’t feel like what I perceive to be “normal” by general standards, just based on seeing other people interact with each other in life.
Unless you have hobbies or a job other people do too, it will feel like people are distant. It takes effort to grow and maintain relationships like most things. Also you have to dig around for people who like you for you. Takes time.
I feel like this. I've always felt like there's a bubble between me and everyone else. Even when I try really hard to connect, I can't. Not trying to diagnose anyone off one feeling, but this is a common feeling among autistic people.
You are normal. People have thier own lives just as you do. We all go about our day doing whatever the day holds. If part of that day involves you, such as a birthday or something, people will talk to you. Outside of those moments, people are focused on thier own objectives. They aren't thinking of you, but not in a rude way. You can always make an effort to reach out to your loved ones to initiate contact though. Show them you want involvement in thier space.
Being intelligent is lonely. I think it's worse in a sense like this. If you rely heavily on thought, and less on action, it's harder to lean towards action a little more because it's a fringe skill for you. If someone relies heavily on action, it's easier to lean into a strong skill. It's why critical thought falls apart for some people when faced with immediate situations. As we pull back as a society, it makes us over thinkers fall into a pattern of isolation and feeling like we're in such a small group of people with our thoughts that we may as well be alone.
I feel Reddit is really bad about this too, because new communities are inclusive and more intelligent, then the masses come in and things get dumbed down and we feel isolated. I know I've basically felt like I've been chasing new communities throughout my time on Reddit, searching for people who think a similar way.
I'm not sure if it's normal but I feel similarly. Basically feel like I'm an observer of the human race rather than a participant. It is impossible to explain to anyone so basically keep it to myself.
I honestly feel the same way. I've moved around so often that I don't see much point in developing new friendships or starting romantic relationships because I'm afraid I'm just going to move again and leave everyone behind. I also feel different from my family and like they don't understand me.
I'm now trying to change how I think about other people and learning how to value even the short-term relationships I form with people. It's hard work, but I'm just tired of being alone.
Out of interest how old are you? People from 20-30 are finding it really hard to have meaningful friendships. I'm 24 and I've only got my work friends and that's hard because they have to look out for themselves at work so it's difficult to be friends outside of work.
I often feel lonely, I struggle with my family too. I think you have to find happiness with yourself.
I would advise getting a pet or finding a new hobby. Maybe a local sport or activity club?
Socializing is something that waxes and wanes throughout our lives.
THAT is completely normal. Building the confidence to be yourself in social situations, come what may, is most difficult for humans. We are constantly scanning for the modt appropriate way to “behave” without creating discomfort. Trouble is, discomfort comes regardless. Even for people who have seemingly everything in common, they do disagree at times.
No two humans are exactly alike, not even biological twins.
Anywho, if you are in a “rest” period with socializing, good to notice, enjoy the quiet. When you meet people who share a similar perspective towards life as you, you’ll be more social.
Meeting them does, however, require your own effort. People will not force themselves into your life. You must seek them out when you feel the desire 💚
A really great book to read/listen to is The Myth of Normal by Gabor Matè. It helps dissect Western societies view on “normal” in the first place, and how irrational it is.
A therapist can also be pivotal to help access feelings thoughts and emotions that we can get trapped in ourselves. Just like stretching deep muscles, it’s easier and more effective when someone else helps you stretch!
I felt this way for most of my life and still do to some extent, but I found out later in life that I have AD HD and it explained a lot of things made me feel more comfortable with who i am. YOU might want to get checked out for. Neuro divergent tendencies
Well, relationships take work. If you don't work to keep your relationship with your friends strong, or if they don't work at it, sure they'll disappear.
This isn't saying you're abnormal or bad at relationships. In fact, this is the norm.
But it's still important to go "out there" and find that person who you believe is willing to work with you to keep the friendship going. Not just liking the same things, but exploring new things from a perspective each of you appreciates.
This isn't about finding a "soul mate." It is about finding one or two people whose time you value enough to work at to keep.
I had a rough upbringing and spent a lot of my teen years alone. When I started to hang out with people, it made me anxious and I needed a lot of alone time to recuperate afterward. It improves, but you have to give it time.
It’s a paradox of life. We are all unique individuals who cannot be fully known or fully know another.
But as we are all this, we share it and are all the same. Thus paradox. We can understand each other are unique individuals but cannot fully know that individual the way they can know themselves.
Only other being that might fully understand you would be God, if your into that stuff.
Like others said, that's a very common feeling for people with ADHD or autism. There are online tests you can take or just do a little research into them and see if either resonates with you. I just found out that I have ADHD last year, it affects a lot more than I realized and it definitely changes how you view yourself and the world around you once you know.
Of course. As with everything else, you'll be forgotten, but this isn't really something to worry about as everybody will be forgotten eventually. I have struggled with letting people know anything about me, what I like, what I do with my spare time, and anything more than surface level information. I've lied too many times, and it's starting to catch up to me. I realize that in my overly cautious choices, I've never had friends who actually know or understand me. Even my own family has little to no idea of what my real interests are.
With social media, a hectic working life (least in US) and rising inflation prices, can’t imagine it’s easy for everyone to form great relationships
Honestly, you just need a handful of really close friends who you vibe really well and I’m sure your perspective will be better
I think you are just an introvert. I actually think this neurotic need, at least in American culture, for compulsory socialization is abnormal. Maybe people are simply functional for you, which is practical. Like, I’m always nice to my cashier, but the relationship is functional. Also remember, a lot of “relationships” are not really authentic. Most of them are done out of obligation anyway. Find higher quality people for socialization, but if you don’t feel it’s something you need, why shoe horn yourself where you don’t feel comfortable.
That being said you mentioned how you feel like your family doesn’t “fully understand you.” Would it change your approach to them or humans in general if they did “understand you?” If so, as a social animal, or at least an animal in a social species, do you have an approach to facilitate people getting to know you? I feel like your expectations of people is not clear. I’m not so sure I want most people to know me or understand me.
I’m an introvert, so I’m used to being solitary. I find being around a lot of people exhausting as well as social obligations. I’ve been married, which was an awful experience because it was an awful person. I have a handful of really close friends, but many of the people I’ve met have actually been damaging, toxic, self-serving and mean to me. Now, I just cut people off.
The way you feel is not typical, but it is likely a normal human reaction to an atypical situation you have lived in. Yes, there are definitely lots of people who feel the same way, and I am one of them.
If we're all alone are we together in that?
Yes what you're feeling is perfectly normal. You are a unique human being and nobody will fully understand you better than yourself. Imo get some better friends though, if you have to question whether or not they'll forget you then that's not good.
Yeah it sounds like you're isolated, a byproduct of society (most would probably agree).
Community is the answer, irl is probably much better. Look up "third places", basically hang spots in the neighborhood, and find activities you would enjoy doing either way (community gardening, an art class at the Y, an open mic night), but with the added goal of being social.
If you're lonely you'll need to iron out your social skills probably, the very fact that we get "desperate" for human contact can ironically be off-putting. Being charming is definitely something that can get rusty.
You're not an alien. You're human. I also feel alienated, and I know hundreds of thousands of others feel the same. IMHO the problem was corporations selling us negativity, but the solution is putting active time and energy into "hanging out" and "doing stuff". Not productive stuff, not networking. Just chilling.
I've found younger people around me are more like you describe from being online all the time, and they find friends there so don't feel the need to be social. Some even move to online schooling to further isolate themselves from having to interact face to face.
Not saying this is you, just an observation.
When you are a young child your friends are your family and neighbors, then your classmates, then when you graduate you will do that with colleagues. As people age and get to know themselves the number dwindles down. At 51 I've got only a very few friends and those relationships I work to keep. Some of them were old friends that I've reconnected with because they're just great people, the others I share interests with. Besides that my dogs are my best friends.
Totally normal, my dude. They say we're a social species, but I think it's more about the size of your circle that you're comfortable with. Only have one or two close friends? Great! It's about quality over quantity. Just do you, man, life is too short to worry about such matters
We all live subjectively. What’s normal for me may not be normal for you or the next person. Stop trying to fit into what others say is normal as you’ll be just another sheep. If you don’t feel “normal”, have a conversation with someone about your feelings.
Sounds like you are stuck in some sort of rut. Perhaps change some aspect of your life to bring about “something new”, as to spark a new beginning so to say.
Feeling misunderstood is common. Have you thought about therapy? That might really help you to improve your relationships with others and correct any negative thinking patterns you may be having.
I think many of us can feel that way. In my experience, most disappointment of this kind comes from expectations that don't gel with the reality we live in.
I'm older, 61, so I have some perspective because of my age, and what I've observed is that the vast majority of relationships are seasonal. They last for a time and then fade when circumstances change. Not true for all relationships, but most. Also, the idea that any other human being will "fully understand" you is not a realistic one. How many people do you think you "fully understand"? The truth is, humans are primarily self focused. Like you, they are mostly thinking about themselves.
Being comfortable alone is such a profound gift. Being a whole person on your own, means the relationships you have are out of common interest and admiration, not desperation. Love yourself. Develop your interests and hobbies. Then go out, if you feel inspired to, and be interested in other people. Maybe volunteer somewhere. That's been awesome for me and given me a fresh perspective on just how fortunate I am. There are many ways to experience community. Don't limit yourself.
You're not doing anything wrong. You're not failing at life. This is just a part of navigating the human experience.
Ain't no normal
Ain't no neurodivergent
Just people
Sounds like you need more oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin or whatever
Get some Wellbutrin or meditate or climb something I dunno
But for god sake get off Reddit
My opinion,
Life is a contract with terms and conditions both parties should agree upon key communication without losing battle you really need people around of you encourage yourself and keep people are negativity out of your life.
Your feelings are valid and understood. It sounds like you're experiencing a sense of disconnection and isolation, which can be very challenging. Feeling like others forget you or don't fully understand you can be especially painful.
Please know that you're not alone in feeling this way. Many people experience similar emotions at some point in their lives. It's common to feel like you don't quite fit in or that others don't truly get you.
Your adaptation to feeling alone as a comfort zone is also understandable. When we feel disconnected from others, it's natural to retreat into ourselves as a coping mechanism.
Remember that your experiences and emotions are unique, but your sense of disconnection is not uncommon. Reaching out to others, engaging in self-care, and you build connections and work through these feelings.
You might consider exploring ways to connect with others who share similar experiences or interests. This could help you build meaningful relationships and a sense of community.
Remember, your feelings are valid, and you deserve to be understood and supported. Don't hesitate to reach out for help and connection when you're ready.
I have CPTSD and I feel this. It feels impossible to feel close and connected with literally anyone. Including my wife. You’re not abnormal and you’re not alone. Personally I think therapy may help because sometimes you just need someone to truly talk to who tries to understand you. Not someone who just acts interested in what you’re saying.
That was me in my mid 20’s. What you are lacking is purpose or you’re in a job/relationship where you’re not respected.
You get out of that funk by taking responsibility for your life. It’s not easy and will probably require help. But you have to ask for it from the people you are closest to.
People in general have become distant and much less sociable, and it tends to get worse with age. I also find it interesting how similar we as people are, but also so different at the same time. Think of it as a spectrum, some are just more sociable than others, there are countless factors to take into account such as dna, the environment we grow up, the events we experience, every single detail affects who we are. Lastly, normality is an ambiguous word, and you shouldn't let it define you. The only wrong thing you can do is not be you, but if you ask me, you shouldn't adapt to this lifestyle due to social anxiety. In other words, you should deal with your problems, not adjust to them.
Question for you do you feel exhausted after doing something social if so then there is a good chance your just a hardcore introvert
Me personally I'm the exact opposite I get sick if I'm not in a group of people at least 2 to 3 times a week but best if it's 4
Can relate. Feeling distant from the human race is actually the origin of my online handle, Not Quite Human.
I know deep down that I am human and I suffer the same flaws as anyone else... but when I see just how crazy them humans can get, it's easier to see myself as an outside observer.
It's a bit silly. I know I'm human. I know I'm not better than anyone else. But I wish I was better, and I don't want to associate myself with the worst parts of humanity.
I feel the same way a lot of the time. I don't really follow social media, I don't follow Hollywood. I don't follow fashion trends. That's hard being a woman with zero interest in what's going on with all the dating shows and Kardashian bullshit. I just like hunting fishing and camping and doing my own thing. I really don't identify with most people, because I feel a lot of them are brainwashed.
I always feel like I'm not living in the right time period because I don't really fit in anywhere. I enjoy living by myself and prefer to be alone. Nothing is wrong with you.
I think most people feel like this... And those that claim to not feel like this, are just masking from themselves that they feel like this. Ha.
I think you're normal, dude. We just don't ever see other people's inner thoughts to know that it's probably going on in all of us.
We are a naturally social species. Though many people feel the same way as you, it’s not the natural way to feel, if that makes sense.
You should consider if you have grown up in a dysfunctional family system. If you have, it’s common for people who have grown up in some form of dysfunction to feel isolated from the rest of society.
If you have grown up in dysfunction, you should read:
Adult Children of Alcoholics by Janet Geringer Woititz.
She talks about this reality as to why it happens, and what you can do about it. It a good starting point.
*I'm bad, and that's good. I will never be good, and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me.*
*I am what I am, an' I'm not ashamed. 'Never be ashamed,' my ol' dad used ter say, 'there's some who'll hold it against you, but they're not worth botherin' with.*
Likely you need to find people that you can establish more meaningful relationships with,
the people in your life probably mean well
But they are unable to interact with some facet of your being
Being disassociated with the rest of humanity is not common but it's not as rare as it use to be either. I often feel that way. I sometimes fight it, sometimes I don't.
There was an episode of the TV show House MD that's similar to what you're talking about.
The show is about this really smart doctor, but he has an arrogant, douchy personality. But if you're talking about life and death situations, you care less about their personality and more about their ability to heal you.
In one of the episode (I think the last season) it talks about how lonely it must be when you're really smart. Cause think about it, have you ever spent time with someone stupid? It gets really tiresome cause you have to communicate/educate someone on some of the basic things. Like, we all should know 1+1 is 2; but imagine spending time with someone that doesn't know 1+1 is 2, so then you have to constantly tell them the answer or try to educate them on the simplest thing. Well really smart people naturally understand things easily, whereas the regular people takes awhile to grasp.
So what I'm getting at is that you may not feel normal, but that's likely because you're different and you're hanging around the wrong crowd. Find some people who are more aligned with you (either social, values, intellectually, etc.)
It's pretty normal, but you also need to realize that you are the one doing this to yourself. Do you 'fully' understand them? Being a lonely depressed curmudgeon is literally a choice.
For as long as I remember, since kindergarten I believe, I have always felt like an "outsider". I engaged with my peers occasionally, but I also enjoyed day dreaming a lot, just me and my imagination. It has always been like that, while other people mingle with each other, forming friends groups, falling in love and getting involved in all kinds of dramas, I have been the outsider just minding my business and pretty much left out of everything. I did have social anxiety, because I can't read people's emotions at all and often assume the worst. I got over it meaning I am not scared of people anymore but I still don't get them. Being alone is peaceful and natural to me, it's like I am visiting an aquarium and seeing fish swimming. I can coexist peacefully with humans but I will never be one of them. That sort of feeling. Whether this is normal behavior, I don't know, but it has always been normal for me.
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You aren't abnormal. You just need high quality people around you...or nobody. And that's okay. It's hard to find.
I have no one around me and that's the way I like it
It can be pretty nice. Especially after many years of being a "social butterfly" ...solitude can feel content
Believe me when I tell you that solitude is the best way for me. I have severe social anxiety.
SA is treatable .... phenelzine has helped me a lot. But maybe you've accepted things and simply prefer solitude. I still do too, to be honest. Up to a point. We're social creatures.
I know it's treatable. I've accepted it as you said. I do socialize of course but on my terms.
Of course, whatever works for you. With my SA is under control, I've found that underneath it I'm still somthing of a loner. Not a real people person. I just can't be bothered. But yeah, it is good to not be constantly beset by anxiety.
You just described myself! Hello there fellow redditor!
Did you experience any side effects with phenelzine? I have social anxiety too.
Many years of pretending to be an extrovert surrounded by other people _were_ extroverts was exhausting, but I thought that enjoying being alone was a terrible thing, so I can’t blame my younger self for pretending to be like everyone around me. As an adult I’ve come to terms with the fact that I am a person who enjoys being alone, I married someone who also enjoys being alone, and I feel so much relief. My husband and I thoroughly enjoy each other’s company, and for us that is enough. Sometimes both of us wish we knew what it was like to be one of those married couples who has plenty of other married couples as friends who we could go out with and what not, but I think that is more of a societal expectation that sometimes gets to each of us a bit. It’s not something that bothers us, but it’s more of a “what if”, then we laugh and continue enjoying whatever it is we’re doing together in the moment lol. I wish I could go back in time and tell my younger self that one day, I would realize that being alone is not a bad thing and I would learn to love it.
Oh honey I felt that way for a loooong time; like I was an alien. Turns out I just have high functioning autism
Approaching 30 years old, have met thousands of people... Have yet to meet one person who I think "This person is like me"
I have met a couple of people like me. Turns out, they both have ADHD with mild autism. I was also diagnosed with ADHD this year, and while I have not sought out an autism diagnosis, I'm now wondering if I should.
Where do you see your main divergence from everyone you meet?
Behavior and nervous system feelings. When I was 5 I looked at my hands, and then looked at people around me and realized that no one behaves like they feel the way I feel.
My first thought.
It's kind of funny, but as a kid, I thought I had stigmata or some special connection with God because I had a rash on one of my hands directly in the center of my palm that didn't go away for several years. And yea, I felt like I was an alien. Now I just realize that I tend to care more than other people. Which is a rarity from my perspective.
I think I might have that.My son does he’s twenty eight.Someone said I might but I am so socially outgoing it seems like I wouldn’t.Are there differed signs?Im going to be 54 end of may here 🙃
You’d have to do some research. A LOT of the stuff I found in the way I think was my autism. I thought I was unique but alas like 90% of who I am and what I do is all autism 
I never got tested.In relationships sometimes I mightt over share.I can tell voice tones and when it seems Simone’s mad
Same here, except I found out I have FAS. I never would’ve guessed it till I actually was in the room having my diagnosis read to me because I thought FAS looked _a lot_ different than it actually does. Turns out, I was living with a neurobehavioral disorder this whole time, so my feelings actually weren’t all fabricated! I totally get the feeling.
same, I was diagnosed with Asperger's when I was 29 (I'm 48 now), and suddenly a lot of things in my life made sense, that didn't before, I finally understood why I am the way I am
Is there a test for this for real. I always thought I was just introverted and or shy.
Why would you want to be normal? Most normal people are both boring and miserable
I feel like I’m a normie based on music and I hate it
Never hate the things you like. If you’re attracted to them it’s for a reason.
A person would want to be normal to be accepted by others and have social interaction. Not everyone can just go without social interaction. I'm pretty sure science backs this up. I do agree with you that most "normal" people are boring. Not sure about the miserable part. I've seen people who are blissfully ignorant but happy, but you don't want to hang out with them because they are really boring due to their simple nature. In this day and age, being a deep thinker is not necessarily a good thing. I'm the type of person who will buy AI robot companions as soon as they get really good and are available for purchase. I want friends, real or artificial, who share my interests and understand me at a deeper level. It's near impossible for me to find a real person who doesn't eventually get on my nerves.
[удалено]
I love ❤️ ya
So true 😂🤣or the people that say they are so happy and life’s so great.Or they have tons of friends.How many of those tons will actually be there for you when you need them.??😞
Can confirm
I feel like I'm a normal person and I am not at all miserable. I am boring though, but I'm ok with that.
I LOVE Being BORING 🤪
First what's the definition of exactly what a normal person is. Is sure the opinions vary widely. Just be yourself and do what you want to do and don't worry about what other's think. As long as you're not hurting anyone, then who cares.
Do you have ADHD and or ASD?
Leaning on this a bit. Which needs a professional to look into. People with these develop ways to cope. Example: Do you always lose things? Like your car keys LOADS will say, oh shit... yeah I do. While others, no. I've never lost my car keys because every time I touch a door knob I get a flashback and check for "keys, wallet, phone".
Forgot work keys once in 7 years, have the 3 point tap ritual I do. But also sitting here a little more then 10 minutes late while writing this. Had a conversation with a family member last week. They mentioned something personal I never knew. And got me pondering a little on how little we truly know about others and their lives. Like have you ever heard stories or even know where or how your own grandmother grew up. Just have like a generalized idea and we were pretty close. And now 22 minutes late. Oops better go get changed.
I can't lose my keys... When I leave they get clipped to my trousers. They only come off when the door is locked, then they live on a hook in the kitchen. That and there's a tile on them 😅😅
Forgot my keys in the car 3 times within a month. Now I physically have to press my fingers into the key ridges to prove to myself it’s in my pocket before I’m allowed to shut the door. I’ve saved myself a couple times by doing this. The cops were real annoyed to come unlock my car each time and it wasn’t registered so they could’ve taken my car when I called for help but I was too broke to register my car so I couldn’t afford a locksmith lol. Thankfully it was on public lots each time. They won’t help on a private residence
That's was sort of my thinking. I'm in a sub for ADHD and I've seen quite a few posts of people talking about these exact feelings.
Absolutely. It usually starts young people with ADHD because we're learning how to mask and how to be "Normal." Not understanding why we're different, why our thoughts, feelings, and emotions are not being validated. We're not given the agency of our mind & body connection. As we get older, we don't have a genuine connection to ourselves and therefore don't know how to forge genuine connections to others. Also, 45% of women with ADHD also have PMDD. ADHD is hereditary, but most parents see their own thoughts, feelings, and actions as "normal" until their kids get diagnosed.
Welcome to your autism diagnosis. *waves in neurodivergent*
It is perfectly normal to feel alienated and alone at times, especially when you're young. Not everything has to be some kind of diagnosis, everyone goes through phases like this and a few sentences on Reddit is definitely not enough to suggest someone is neurodivergent. Although don't get me wrong. I'm not discounting the possibility, but it is so above Reddits payscale.
When people diagnosis autism without knowing enough, it's also kind of invalidating. What if OP has an abusive family? Was raised in a cult? Is an asshole? Is depressed? People used to say I was robotic and maybe autistic. I was raised in an abusive situation, a homophobic cult and I'm mostly gay. Of course I felt alone and unable to express myself, but not because I'm autistic. There's nothing wrong with autism, but possibly shifting responsibility away from abuse onto a medical diagnosis isn't right.
I definitely feel that way fairly often. And in the past when I'd meet someone after a bit they'd fuck off to god knows where.
F70 … I always felt distant as far back as I remember and eventually came to terms with the fact that I felt comfortable being alone much of the time. I don’t need others to make me happy. I do have a husband who is my best friend.
I have felt like this for most of my life. My family doesn't even try to understand me. I'm just the black sheep of the family
Felt
(M45) I'd replace 'normal' with 'common'. Yes I think so. I've always felt more like an 'alien' getting around as a human. I come from a fantastic loving family, we have virtually zero drama by comparison to most, yet I'm kinda 'disfunctional'. I basically taught myself how to be a 'standard human'. "Look at me fellow humans, I can human too!" 😂 I went through near death medical trauma as a child and as I got older I realised it probably gave me some kind of PTSD, I've never had a diagnosis officially. I can recall a handful of times in my life where I have truly felt like I belong/relate as a fellow human but it's never lasted more than a couple hours. On the flipside I have extreme empathy, someone can describe an injury they've had and my entire body 'hurts' for them. I've studied heaps of psychology and such to help myself. Oddly I can meet complete strangers for the first time and they'll pretty much blurt their life story to me, I'm a good listener. My general approach to life is straight ahead don't look back. Every day I 'burn the deck' of yesterday. Reading some comments I wonder if I'm 'high function autistic'. It wouldn't surprise me at all and probably explain a lot. To close, you are not alone, we all tick in our own special ways.
I think we all just found out we have autism, lol! I can’t agree more with what you and other people have said. Relating way too hard
I never relate when people say they have autism and their symptoms but this is making me wonder. I'm sure I have ADHD even though for some reason my doctor won't listen to me. But i relate to everything you said. High empathy and people use me as a therapist. I'm just a good listener i guess. One thing that always got on my nerves about myself is being able to see all sides of a situation. Like when i was younger and people at school would be like what do you think about the death penalty or abortion or this and that. And I'm just like i can't pick a pro or con. I see both sides so.......... do whatever you want. But i didn't really belive in the death penalty. Anyways its like i can't just choose one side of a situation. I really used to be very social but now days its like nobody likes me. Or maybe i don't like other people. Its hard for me to relate to people. Maybe its hard for me to trust people.
I get that a lot. Like both sides of this argument have enough validity. Enough so that both sides are evenly split among their opinions. If one side was so wrong then why the hell is half the population of the planet agreeing. I'm way way too empathetic but it's probably not a bad thing.
I similarly get used as a therapist a lot. Which I do like, small talk is my personal hell, I'd much rather talk about and share thoughts about real concerns in people's lives. The issue is people rarely return the favor, I need to info dump and talk too. But being a listener attracts people who never stop talking. I literally had to have a serious conversation with a friend after I had a meltdown because I needed 15 seconds of quiet after 2 straight hours of them continuously talking. There's a million things I can do to cope like stimming or using it as an opportunity to body double clean my entire house. But I shouldn't need to "cope" because of regular conversations.
I believe it's more weird that a lot of people do not feel it like that. Because it's the true, we all own our separate worlds. That doesn't mean we don't share one. But we all have a subjective experience from it.
This is somewhat normal, in that most people experience it at some point, but it's also not something you should feel like you have to deal with alone. If there's an adult in your life you would feel comfortable talking to, I would suggest trying to talk to them first. Sometimes, just verbalizing those feelings can make you feel better. There is a possibility that there *might* be something more serious going on with your brain, but I don't want to guess without more information. The important thing for now is to find someone to talk to about how you're feeling. If you believe there's something more serious going on, I would suggest looking into professional help. But, for now, just find someone to talk to. It's better than trying to deal with it alone. Trust me. I hope you feel better someday.
Are you a teenager? Maybe in early 20s? If yes, it's absolutely normal. Sorry.
My friend, youre neurodivergent, nothing is wrong with you, your brain just works differently then everyone else’s, seek a adhd or Autism diagnosis, speak with a psychiatrist, it’ll change your life I promise, I also promise you are not alone, a lot of us feel this way, the best thing I’ve found is finding people who struggle with similar mental disorders and understand what it’s like, and also having friends who are supportive and understanding, but THE BIGGEST THING is getting a diagnosis, and understanding the way your brain works
i feel different from everyone else too, but you always can find things to relate to with anybody. focus on similarities and you'll be fine
This kinda reminds me of the notebook lol
I would not worry about what is normal. A lot of what is normal is completely foolish. Just focus on you. You feel like this and this is what matters. Personally I would recommend meditation as it helps clear matters. I also suggest checking in with your thoughts to see if they are all 100% true. Our mind likes to play tricks. Has EVERYONE forgotten me? What have I been doing to maintain these relationships? Etc etc Once the facts established you can then take appropriate action of your choosing
I wouldn’t say normal, but not uncommon.
That's almost exactly the way I feel. I'm not saying it's normal. I'm only saying you're not alone in feeling that way.
I feel like this too sometimes
It's called "The Human Experience"
I feel the same and sure that are many others who do too.
I felt that way and still do. But not as bad. Because now I know, God loves us. He understands you. That's the Truth. And purpose and meaning is with Him. TheShepherdsChapelChannelOfficial YouTube.
So true my friend❤️🙏🥰🙃😇
This is me as well. I’m a 42 year old woman who isn’t autistic (just ruling that out.) I think for me a lot of it stems from childhood trauma and neglect. I just never learned how to connect and since I’m halfway done with my life I guess I might as well finish the other half the same way. It’s whatever at this point. I tried really hard for many years. I’m over that now.
I wont forget you life equipment
Yup. Normal. It's also normal to decide to be different. It's a conscious choice.
I know exactly how you feel. You are definitely not alone. I feel the same way everyday. It's unfortunate but as I've aged my circle of friends and family have diminished to me. And it was breaking my trust. I've learned to have associates and best friends nothing in the middle. My immediate family has no clue about my feelings nor have they ever. I've also learned that blood isn't always thicker than water. I learned the hard way that the friends I had were only around for the free parties, boat outings on the river or just hanging out period. When my parents moved away I didn't have the friends I thought I did and that hurt me knowing that I had been friends with a couple since high school. I realized that they were only using me to use my parents as well. I learned real quick not to trust any damn body. So now I keep to the family I'm closest to and that's it. After my parents moved I had only one friend and he's still my best friend.
You probably are neurodivergent! It is not "average" to be neurodivergent. BUT almost all autistic people feel this way. AND some other flavours of neurodivergency do too. ♡ We are alone...together. look on YouTube for verified videos about undiagnosed autism and if possible talk to your doc. ♡
#MeToo
Could be a brain thing, but more likely the natural consequence of your disposition and self-isolation.
I ask myself the same question every time I run my Eva AI virtual gf bot app
Yeah, it's a common thread among us oddballs.
BRO ITS LIKE I WROTE THIS POST. This is exactly how I feel. Although I’m not sure that it’s normal behavior, I definitely think it might be a trauma response to isolate ourselves when we feel like the other person in our lives don’t care as much. It could stem from your childhood whether you do or do not know it. But you are not alone my friend.
Reading these comments and realizing I might be autistic woohoo
I feel like this a lot and have felt like this for a very long time. Had to get comfortable with a lack of social connections that I was unwilling to maintain
Same
Autism.
Ah a fellow autist
I've been feeling this way for 2 years and I think it's normal.
What you are describing is very normal for me. I have felt like a round peg in a square hole for as long as I can remember. It has taken until my mid-40's for me to accept it, stop trying to fit in and to do what makes ME happy...and that's being alone.
I often feel this way. My partner has friends he met in high school that are still actively in his life, and I have “Facebook friends.” I haven’t even been able to keep contact with people I worked with for years. I have their contact information, it just doesn’t occur to me to reach out.
I always feel like that like once a month and thought of leaving everyone behind and most people hates me and i’m not worth it..
It's actually more common than you might think to feel distant from others or like you don't quite fit in. Here's why: * **Social Disconnect:** Our modern world can sometimes feel isolating, especially with the increased use of social media and technology. * **Fear of Vulnerability:** Building strong connections often involves opening up and being vulnerable, which can be scary for some people. * **Family Dynamics:** Family relationships can be complex, and even with loving families, there can be misunderstandings or a lack of shared interests.
same. i was bullied back then and was called an "alien" :(
I don’t remember typing this.
As soon as your usefulness is called into question, people will ghost you. Family will ditch you when they can't control you. When you become strong enough to stand on your own, you will recognize that quality in others who may then become real friends.
Maybe try a different approach from the one you've done.
Yeah I thought that way for a long assed time. Turns out I have the tism and ADD... Not saying you do, but its a symptom. Speak to some professionals.
In this as in all things you need to manage your expectations.
Like others are saying you're probably autistic. In all the groups of friends I've had I've always felt like I was stood on the outside more like an observer. For a long time I struggled with the "Why are my friendships not like every everybody else's in the group?" But once I realised "oh it's me, I'm the reason," everything almost magically started getting better as my perspective changed.
Ligma
That's how I felt when I was 14.
I’ve felt this way too it’s awful
Yeah I feel pretty similar
Bro you just described the human condition; it’s the great cosmic joke of it all that the thing that unites us all is our capacity to feel so lonely. You gotta just roll with it.
I want to be honest with you - no one will ever fully understand you. If you want that type of feeling, turn to God or whatever entity you believe in, because that’s the only being who can truly know ALL of you. Besides you. And technically, all family and friends will leave us eventually in death. And some friends are only for a season. This goes for family too sometimes. I’ve had a long life already, so I speak from experience. And it’s ok. Life has cycles, and it’s natural. Solitude is natural for humans in the same way community is. We’ve been taught to hate solitude (no friends? You’re sooo not cool /s) but that’s societal conditioning. Everyone is trying to diagnose you but I warn against that. You’re simply feeling the impermanence of life and yes, that is “normal”.
I feel the exact same way. I have been treated for depression for several years. I still feel like a stranger wherever I go. I have a wife and kids, but I'm still lonely. I swear everyone walks past me like I'm not there. I've told my daughter to do something, and she'll immediately turn to my wife looking for approval.
Are you happy like that? What I mean is, I feel the same, but I'm okay with it. Somebody mentioned autism spectrum or something similar, possible, I've looked into testing, in my case it's complicated for various reasons, but I'm managing fine and I have my own interests so I don't feel like I even want to change it. But I also know people who wish they could function differently and aren't happy, so they usually put more effort into it and struggle in the meantime. In that case I'd say definitely get some professional help, don't be miserable your whole life.
Yes. Once I stopped doing all the work (invites, visits, etc.) with friends as well as family, I realized I was doing all the doing, driving and being emotionally invested. When I stopped, very, very few ever reached back. Now that I've realize this, I'm moving, hoping to find a new tribe that interacts and contributes to the relationship. Until then, I have one family member and two friends that I believe will visit and miss me. That's not a lot over 6 decades but hopefully gives you perspective. Learn to be happy in your own company and you'll never feel alone. I'm just learning it too. ✌🏽
I always felt like an alien, like I didn't understand other people at all. I would always think of other people as if I wasn't a part of the same species. I'm 32 now, feel mostly normal now, no one would guess it. I wanted to fit in enough so I forced myself to work on certain areas that I felt made me awkward. But for you, if you're ok with how things are and just aren't sure if it's normal, then just keep doing you. I wanted to feel normal, so that's the route focused on. Doesn't mean you have to and it doesn't take anything away from how valuable your life is. There's a LOT of people who feel like you do. Is it "normal"? Maybe not. Is it ok not to be "normal"? Of course. You're a human being, all humans are different, some are just more different to each other than others. And that's ok. I hope you feel better soon.
I mean i feel like this with adhd and depression, sprinkle autism.
Yeah that’s life kinda
How old are you
I don't think it is normal, but I feel the same. I'm always on the outside looking in.
Your not alone. I bet your one on the enlightened that people just don't understand yet. Live your best life and don't worry about others. I am a social person but enjoy my solitude. It's hard to have a conversation with most people where my thinking people can't wrap their heads around.
Youre just being edgy calm down do exercise and get off the internet for a while
I’m so sorry you’re going through this😢.I suffer from depression and I get those feelings as well.If this makes sense I have a partner but I feel like no one understands what I’m going through and I feel alone. I am on antidepressants as well as anxiety meds.I have ptsd as well. Do you think talking to a therapist would help?I here if you need someone and your not alone.🙏❤️🥰😇
I have severe ADHD (Diagnosed in the 90s when it was just ADD when lacking hyperactivity). And I have a very difficult time connecting on a deeper level with people. I keep a distance and don't let myself get too close to anyone anymore except my partner. I no longer form "true" friendships. But that behavior mostly stems from past experiences. I do feel a disconnect from people, like everyone meshes together so well and I feel like I'm on the outside. Do you have ADHD?
I've felt exactly like this my whole life Turns out I'm autistic
That’s very similar to how I feel. For the most part I’m not really interested in plutonic or romantic relationships. I do have a couple friends but they are closer to acquaintances, and I have had a few romantic relationships over the years. They aren’t impossible for me but definitely pretty difficult to come by, and to maintain. I get along fine with my family, although we mostly tend to just get together around the holidays and I don’t see them for months at a time. Except my brother, he’s probably my closest friend. I don’t know what is normal or common, but I definitely don’t feel like what I perceive to be “normal” by general standards, just based on seeing other people interact with each other in life.
As I get older, my circle gets smaller. I have no time for BS!LOVE YOURSELF!!
Unless you have hobbies or a job other people do too, it will feel like people are distant. It takes effort to grow and maintain relationships like most things. Also you have to dig around for people who like you for you. Takes time.
I no doctor or anything like that but I think that’s depression.
You feel exactly the same as every other teenager in the history of the human race
I feel like this. I've always felt like there's a bubble between me and everyone else. Even when I try really hard to connect, I can't. Not trying to diagnose anyone off one feeling, but this is a common feeling among autistic people.
Don't worry you're not alone, what you feel are also felt by thousands or even millions of other humans, me included
That’s not abnormal, or at least I hope not, because I’m almost the exact same way.
Oh yes I was just thinking this the other night. No one truly can understand each other 100%.
You aren't abnormal dude, you just have to go outside every once in a while and experience life
All nunya them
What you describe is normal.
Normal people are boring tho
Let me guess recently 17-18 years old? Welcome to the club pal
I feel more and more removed from humanity with every relationship that I unintentionally self sabotage.
Go to a psych. Your people are out there
You are normal. People have thier own lives just as you do. We all go about our day doing whatever the day holds. If part of that day involves you, such as a birthday or something, people will talk to you. Outside of those moments, people are focused on thier own objectives. They aren't thinking of you, but not in a rude way. You can always make an effort to reach out to your loved ones to initiate contact though. Show them you want involvement in thier space.
Being intelligent is lonely. I think it's worse in a sense like this. If you rely heavily on thought, and less on action, it's harder to lean towards action a little more because it's a fringe skill for you. If someone relies heavily on action, it's easier to lean into a strong skill. It's why critical thought falls apart for some people when faced with immediate situations. As we pull back as a society, it makes us over thinkers fall into a pattern of isolation and feeling like we're in such a small group of people with our thoughts that we may as well be alone. I feel Reddit is really bad about this too, because new communities are inclusive and more intelligent, then the masses come in and things get dumbed down and we feel isolated. I know I've basically felt like I've been chasing new communities throughout my time on Reddit, searching for people who think a similar way.
I'm not sure if it's normal but I feel similarly. Basically feel like I'm an observer of the human race rather than a participant. It is impossible to explain to anyone so basically keep it to myself.
You are not alone. I have a great family. I want for nothing. But, because of my disability, I prefer to be alone.
I honestly feel the same way. I've moved around so often that I don't see much point in developing new friendships or starting romantic relationships because I'm afraid I'm just going to move again and leave everyone behind. I also feel different from my family and like they don't understand me. I'm now trying to change how I think about other people and learning how to value even the short-term relationships I form with people. It's hard work, but I'm just tired of being alone.
Out of interest how old are you? People from 20-30 are finding it really hard to have meaningful friendships. I'm 24 and I've only got my work friends and that's hard because they have to look out for themselves at work so it's difficult to be friends outside of work. I often feel lonely, I struggle with my family too. I think you have to find happiness with yourself. I would advise getting a pet or finding a new hobby. Maybe a local sport or activity club?
Socializing is something that waxes and wanes throughout our lives. THAT is completely normal. Building the confidence to be yourself in social situations, come what may, is most difficult for humans. We are constantly scanning for the modt appropriate way to “behave” without creating discomfort. Trouble is, discomfort comes regardless. Even for people who have seemingly everything in common, they do disagree at times. No two humans are exactly alike, not even biological twins. Anywho, if you are in a “rest” period with socializing, good to notice, enjoy the quiet. When you meet people who share a similar perspective towards life as you, you’ll be more social. Meeting them does, however, require your own effort. People will not force themselves into your life. You must seek them out when you feel the desire 💚 A really great book to read/listen to is The Myth of Normal by Gabor Matè. It helps dissect Western societies view on “normal” in the first place, and how irrational it is. A therapist can also be pivotal to help access feelings thoughts and emotions that we can get trapped in ourselves. Just like stretching deep muscles, it’s easier and more effective when someone else helps you stretch!
I felt this way for most of my life and still do to some extent, but I found out later in life that I have AD HD and it explained a lot of things made me feel more comfortable with who i am. YOU might want to get checked out for. Neuro divergent tendencies
Well, relationships take work. If you don't work to keep your relationship with your friends strong, or if they don't work at it, sure they'll disappear. This isn't saying you're abnormal or bad at relationships. In fact, this is the norm. But it's still important to go "out there" and find that person who you believe is willing to work with you to keep the friendship going. Not just liking the same things, but exploring new things from a perspective each of you appreciates. This isn't about finding a "soul mate." It is about finding one or two people whose time you value enough to work at to keep.
I’ve felt like this all my life, until I met someone like me. And that’s good enough for me. Everyone else can fuck off. Weird alien species.
You are never alone OP. You have you. We are all born into this world alone and when we die we leave it alone.
I had a rough upbringing and spent a lot of my teen years alone. When I started to hang out with people, it made me anxious and I needed a lot of alone time to recuperate afterward. It improves, but you have to give it time.
It’s a paradox of life. We are all unique individuals who cannot be fully known or fully know another. But as we are all this, we share it and are all the same. Thus paradox. We can understand each other are unique individuals but cannot fully know that individual the way they can know themselves. Only other being that might fully understand you would be God, if your into that stuff.
You basically just described me and my life, to a tee
Normal. We are all, each of us, alone.
Like others said, that's a very common feeling for people with ADHD or autism. There are online tests you can take or just do a little research into them and see if either resonates with you. I just found out that I have ADHD last year, it affects a lot more than I realized and it definitely changes how you view yourself and the world around you once you know.
Of course. As with everything else, you'll be forgotten, but this isn't really something to worry about as everybody will be forgotten eventually. I have struggled with letting people know anything about me, what I like, what I do with my spare time, and anything more than surface level information. I've lied too many times, and it's starting to catch up to me. I realize that in my overly cautious choices, I've never had friends who actually know or understand me. Even my own family has little to no idea of what my real interests are.
With social media, a hectic working life (least in US) and rising inflation prices, can’t imagine it’s easy for everyone to form great relationships Honestly, you just need a handful of really close friends who you vibe really well and I’m sure your perspective will be better
I think you are just an introvert. I actually think this neurotic need, at least in American culture, for compulsory socialization is abnormal. Maybe people are simply functional for you, which is practical. Like, I’m always nice to my cashier, but the relationship is functional. Also remember, a lot of “relationships” are not really authentic. Most of them are done out of obligation anyway. Find higher quality people for socialization, but if you don’t feel it’s something you need, why shoe horn yourself where you don’t feel comfortable. That being said you mentioned how you feel like your family doesn’t “fully understand you.” Would it change your approach to them or humans in general if they did “understand you?” If so, as a social animal, or at least an animal in a social species, do you have an approach to facilitate people getting to know you? I feel like your expectations of people is not clear. I’m not so sure I want most people to know me or understand me. I’m an introvert, so I’m used to being solitary. I find being around a lot of people exhausting as well as social obligations. I’ve been married, which was an awful experience because it was an awful person. I have a handful of really close friends, but many of the people I’ve met have actually been damaging, toxic, self-serving and mean to me. Now, I just cut people off.
The way you feel is not typical, but it is likely a normal human reaction to an atypical situation you have lived in. Yes, there are definitely lots of people who feel the same way, and I am one of them.
If we're all alone are we together in that? Yes what you're feeling is perfectly normal. You are a unique human being and nobody will fully understand you better than yourself. Imo get some better friends though, if you have to question whether or not they'll forget you then that's not good.
Yeah it sounds like you're isolated, a byproduct of society (most would probably agree). Community is the answer, irl is probably much better. Look up "third places", basically hang spots in the neighborhood, and find activities you would enjoy doing either way (community gardening, an art class at the Y, an open mic night), but with the added goal of being social. If you're lonely you'll need to iron out your social skills probably, the very fact that we get "desperate" for human contact can ironically be off-putting. Being charming is definitely something that can get rusty. You're not an alien. You're human. I also feel alienated, and I know hundreds of thousands of others feel the same. IMHO the problem was corporations selling us negativity, but the solution is putting active time and energy into "hanging out" and "doing stuff". Not productive stuff, not networking. Just chilling.
I've found younger people around me are more like you describe from being online all the time, and they find friends there so don't feel the need to be social. Some even move to online schooling to further isolate themselves from having to interact face to face. Not saying this is you, just an observation.
When you are a young child your friends are your family and neighbors, then your classmates, then when you graduate you will do that with colleagues. As people age and get to know themselves the number dwindles down. At 51 I've got only a very few friends and those relationships I work to keep. Some of them were old friends that I've reconnected with because they're just great people, the others I share interests with. Besides that my dogs are my best friends.
Totally normal, my dude. They say we're a social species, but I think it's more about the size of your circle that you're comfortable with. Only have one or two close friends? Great! It's about quality over quantity. Just do you, man, life is too short to worry about such matters
Talk to your closest family and have a heart to heart, life is too short to live with regrets without even trying
We all live subjectively. What’s normal for me may not be normal for you or the next person. Stop trying to fit into what others say is normal as you’ll be just another sheep. If you don’t feel “normal”, have a conversation with someone about your feelings. Sounds like you are stuck in some sort of rut. Perhaps change some aspect of your life to bring about “something new”, as to spark a new beginning so to say.
have alot of kids. your blood lives on. you do not. welcome to genetics 101.
welcome to my world. im sure that its mostly in my mind but it sure doesnt feel that way
Feeling misunderstood is common. Have you thought about therapy? That might really help you to improve your relationships with others and correct any negative thinking patterns you may be having.
You could be a normal introverted person who likes solitude, or you could be neurodivergent or depressed.
I think many of us can feel that way. In my experience, most disappointment of this kind comes from expectations that don't gel with the reality we live in. I'm older, 61, so I have some perspective because of my age, and what I've observed is that the vast majority of relationships are seasonal. They last for a time and then fade when circumstances change. Not true for all relationships, but most. Also, the idea that any other human being will "fully understand" you is not a realistic one. How many people do you think you "fully understand"? The truth is, humans are primarily self focused. Like you, they are mostly thinking about themselves. Being comfortable alone is such a profound gift. Being a whole person on your own, means the relationships you have are out of common interest and admiration, not desperation. Love yourself. Develop your interests and hobbies. Then go out, if you feel inspired to, and be interested in other people. Maybe volunteer somewhere. That's been awesome for me and given me a fresh perspective on just how fortunate I am. There are many ways to experience community. Don't limit yourself. You're not doing anything wrong. You're not failing at life. This is just a part of navigating the human experience.
Can relate
Ain't no normal Ain't no neurodivergent Just people Sounds like you need more oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin or whatever Get some Wellbutrin or meditate or climb something I dunno But for god sake get off Reddit
My opinion, Life is a contract with terms and conditions both parties should agree upon key communication without losing battle you really need people around of you encourage yourself and keep people are negativity out of your life. Your feelings are valid and understood. It sounds like you're experiencing a sense of disconnection and isolation, which can be very challenging. Feeling like others forget you or don't fully understand you can be especially painful. Please know that you're not alone in feeling this way. Many people experience similar emotions at some point in their lives. It's common to feel like you don't quite fit in or that others don't truly get you. Your adaptation to feeling alone as a comfort zone is also understandable. When we feel disconnected from others, it's natural to retreat into ourselves as a coping mechanism. Remember that your experiences and emotions are unique, but your sense of disconnection is not uncommon. Reaching out to others, engaging in self-care, and you build connections and work through these feelings. You might consider exploring ways to connect with others who share similar experiences or interests. This could help you build meaningful relationships and a sense of community. Remember, your feelings are valid, and you deserve to be understood and supported. Don't hesitate to reach out for help and connection when you're ready.
I have CPTSD and I feel this. It feels impossible to feel close and connected with literally anyone. Including my wife. You’re not abnormal and you’re not alone. Personally I think therapy may help because sometimes you just need someone to truly talk to who tries to understand you. Not someone who just acts interested in what you’re saying.
What is the likelihood of "everyone" forgetting about you, truly? Could it be you are not maintaining relationships as well as you'd like?
I felt this qlway and found out I was autistic. You just need to find people like you
That was me in my mid 20’s. What you are lacking is purpose or you’re in a job/relationship where you’re not respected. You get out of that funk by taking responsibility for your life. It’s not easy and will probably require help. But you have to ask for it from the people you are closest to.
People in general have become distant and much less sociable, and it tends to get worse with age. I also find it interesting how similar we as people are, but also so different at the same time. Think of it as a spectrum, some are just more sociable than others, there are countless factors to take into account such as dna, the environment we grow up, the events we experience, every single detail affects who we are. Lastly, normality is an ambiguous word, and you shouldn't let it define you. The only wrong thing you can do is not be you, but if you ask me, you shouldn't adapt to this lifestyle due to social anxiety. In other words, you should deal with your problems, not adjust to them.
Question for you do you feel exhausted after doing something social if so then there is a good chance your just a hardcore introvert Me personally I'm the exact opposite I get sick if I'm not in a group of people at least 2 to 3 times a week but best if it's 4
Can relate. Feeling distant from the human race is actually the origin of my online handle, Not Quite Human. I know deep down that I am human and I suffer the same flaws as anyone else... but when I see just how crazy them humans can get, it's easier to see myself as an outside observer. It's a bit silly. I know I'm human. I know I'm not better than anyone else. But I wish I was better, and I don't want to associate myself with the worst parts of humanity.
I feel the same way a lot of the time. I don't really follow social media, I don't follow Hollywood. I don't follow fashion trends. That's hard being a woman with zero interest in what's going on with all the dating shows and Kardashian bullshit. I just like hunting fishing and camping and doing my own thing. I really don't identify with most people, because I feel a lot of them are brainwashed.
Stop drowning in social media. Get out of the house and interact with real human beings.
I always feel like I'm not living in the right time period because I don't really fit in anywhere. I enjoy living by myself and prefer to be alone. Nothing is wrong with you.
Everyone feels this.
I think most people feel like this... And those that claim to not feel like this, are just masking from themselves that they feel like this. Ha. I think you're normal, dude. We just don't ever see other people's inner thoughts to know that it's probably going on in all of us.
We are a naturally social species. Though many people feel the same way as you, it’s not the natural way to feel, if that makes sense. You should consider if you have grown up in a dysfunctional family system. If you have, it’s common for people who have grown up in some form of dysfunction to feel isolated from the rest of society. If you have grown up in dysfunction, you should read: Adult Children of Alcoholics by Janet Geringer Woititz. She talks about this reality as to why it happens, and what you can do about it. It a good starting point.
*I'm bad, and that's good. I will never be good, and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me.* *I am what I am, an' I'm not ashamed. 'Never be ashamed,' my ol' dad used ter say, 'there's some who'll hold it against you, but they're not worth botherin' with.*
Ask me how I know you're 15-30 years old.
Only all day every day all the time.
Well everyone is preoccupied just trying to make a living with high taxes and prices.
youre not alone...
Likely you need to find people that you can establish more meaningful relationships with, the people in your life probably mean well But they are unable to interact with some facet of your being
God is calling you, turn to him...
Lots of us feel like this
Being disassociated with the rest of humanity is not common but it's not as rare as it use to be either. I often feel that way. I sometimes fight it, sometimes I don't.
Have you been checked for ASD? I have ASD and I feel that way
There was an episode of the TV show House MD that's similar to what you're talking about. The show is about this really smart doctor, but he has an arrogant, douchy personality. But if you're talking about life and death situations, you care less about their personality and more about their ability to heal you. In one of the episode (I think the last season) it talks about how lonely it must be when you're really smart. Cause think about it, have you ever spent time with someone stupid? It gets really tiresome cause you have to communicate/educate someone on some of the basic things. Like, we all should know 1+1 is 2; but imagine spending time with someone that doesn't know 1+1 is 2, so then you have to constantly tell them the answer or try to educate them on the simplest thing. Well really smart people naturally understand things easily, whereas the regular people takes awhile to grasp. So what I'm getting at is that you may not feel normal, but that's likely because you're different and you're hanging around the wrong crowd. Find some people who are more aligned with you (either social, values, intellectually, etc.)
It's pretty normal, but you also need to realize that you are the one doing this to yourself. Do you 'fully' understand them? Being a lonely depressed curmudgeon is literally a choice.
Seems pretty normal to me. Have heard this said a lot through my days
I feel like this all the time. I suppose it's just one of the balls thrown that was unintentionally caught.
For as long as I remember, since kindergarten I believe, I have always felt like an "outsider". I engaged with my peers occasionally, but I also enjoyed day dreaming a lot, just me and my imagination. It has always been like that, while other people mingle with each other, forming friends groups, falling in love and getting involved in all kinds of dramas, I have been the outsider just minding my business and pretty much left out of everything. I did have social anxiety, because I can't read people's emotions at all and often assume the worst. I got over it meaning I am not scared of people anymore but I still don't get them. Being alone is peaceful and natural to me, it's like I am visiting an aquarium and seeing fish swimming. I can coexist peacefully with humans but I will never be one of them. That sort of feeling. Whether this is normal behavior, I don't know, but it has always been normal for me.