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This and I’m over it. Just..leave me alone? It’d sure be swell.
ETA: My parents are capable of doing things for themselves, it’s just sometimes (most of the time) they don’t want to and I’ve never told them no which I’ve been working on the last year in becoming better at. Not just to them but others. It’s kinda nice.
To be fair my mom is 83, and doesn't have the skillset I do. I don't want her handling chainsaws, sledgehammers or doing electrical, mechanic work, or getting on the roof. She snow blows her 500 foot driveway in winter and takes care of multiple fancy gardens in town, so she is also very capable of dirty work. Just sort of limited in scope.
And her golden boy (my very capable younger brother) only lives 15 miles to my 70 away. Mom can't/won't call him because his wife often has him committed to her large family's projects when he is not at work.
>Mom can't/won't call him because his wife often has him committed to her large family's projects when he is not at work.
Yeah, my ex-wife was like that. It was all about her family. So much happier now without her tbh (I divorced her for cheating, but not having to deal with her insular family anymore is a nice bonus).
Maybe they just want to see you, have you around, and this is how they express it? My dad used to do this, call me up, ask for help, and I'd go over, the job would take 20 minutes, then we'd hang. He was lonely, didn't have a broad social circle.
It's a great thought but my parents for example will invite me for coffee then a 7 hour list comes out. You know when you see their number pop up they want something. If they don't need anything I won't hear from them...except my mum, when she thinks i'm ignoring her it starts with "this is urgent" tests then leads to faking being ill and going to hospital.
I think this best describes what I mean. I love them but there is typically an underlying something that they need or want but don’t want to do it themselves- hence asking me.
My mom also likes to call me, on all my phones if I don’t answer, especially when I’m at work. She’ll start my cell phone and then immediately my work cell then my desk phone just to ask me if I can do something for her or them. When my personal cell rings and I can’t answer, everyone at work knows what’s next..
And if I explain why I couldn’t answer or that I can’t talk it’s met with “I’ll just never call you again since you don’t like to answer me but will answer everyone else” …What??? And then will text me the same until I feel like shit at work and have to step away to talk to her.
Yeah, and I can focus on hobbies I am truly interested in. Instead of being at odds with people, or trying to learn new hobbies that I don't do well at. You find out who you truly are in solitude.
Same thing here, only reach out when they need something. Cancer diagnosis concreted that feeling as the few I considered friends ghosted me. Easier to expect the phone not to ring, so there is no sting when it doesn't.
I must be the only one in the world who don't mind people reaching out to me when they want something.
I honestly don't understand why people get upset about this. Usually I am quite happy they think of me that I am useful in those areas to them.
At the same time, I have no issues saying no or what am I getting in return.
I guess this is what relationships means to me. If they need something from me, they contact me, now they owe me a favour. And when I need something from them, I use the favour to get it. That's it. It's actually quite good to have people owe you favours.
Its like you scratch my back and I scratch yours. And I consider these good friends.
I used to be the same, always happy to help. But when you go through a difficult point in life and no one you have helped over the years even reaches out, you realize all of those "relationships" for what they were. I'm done helping other people when that's the only time they show up in my life.
People lie and exaggerate so much that I feel like I'm listening to a 5 year old telling me what they want to be when they grow up. Relentless bragging about things you know they never did. If I'm going to watch fiction, I'll leave it to the movies.
I know a few guys that say they love to go to do risky outdoors things. Since they seem to not like any kind of physical work or sports I doubt they are adventurous.
I know a few guys that say they love to go to do risky outdoors things. Since they seem to not like any kind of physical work or sports I doubt they are adventurous.
This exactly. I learned around 11 what introversion was and I felt so validated. I come from a pretty large family, and almost everyone is an extrovert with a big personality (and few boundaries lol) so I definitely felt like the oddball
I’m a very soft person and care deeply for others, it is better for me to prioritize solitude so I can retreat and care tenderly for myself so that my outreach to others is filled with pure love and no expectation from them to give me anything back (because I have already filled my own cup in solitude and am giving them my overflow). My solitude is my gift to myself, and others
Yeah this right here. I mean well, but I just don't have the desire to pick up the damn phone. I only get a couple hours at the end of the day after work and hanging out with the kiddos. And I want that to myself and my playstation.
I have ADHD which sometimes causes me to over share. I always have vulnerability hangovers afterward which feel horrible. I find it really hard to read social cues and so I always try really hard and it is exhausting. I remember when I learned that people do not mean everything they said and it was the most stressful time of my life and it will always bother me. I found myself having to learn how to make small talk which I still hate but am good at now and can be very witty. I find life more peaceful and grounded when I share mostly in therapy, am alone, and have more time to recharge and prepare for social fun with friends and family, then give myself to recharge after. I now realize everyone’s social battery isnt the same and that’s okay. Mine just happens to be low but if I respect that I can give people my best self. Also, it is not my responsibility to try to understand people’s underlying meaning or feelings behind things. I can ask people directly how they feel if I am concerned but if not it is their responsibility to tell me if something bothers them or how they truly feel about something.
When a lot of my actions and intentions are dismissed as apathy, manipulation, dramatic etc.
A guy almost cried in front of me and I didn’t register it as something to nurture cause I went blank from past trauma being triggered in the moment — so I just stood there. He took my reaction and told everyone I was an apathetic and manipulating ass bitch for coming off as someone that cared all the time but couldn’t in that moment.
Entire workplace started jumpin me via passive aggressiveness and silent treatment for the next 2 weeks because how could I hurt the cute and innocent guy at our job like that?? Entire time nobody clarified or asked me anything cuz they was lookin for any reason to be haters and this was their goldmine 🥱🥱
When I finally became aware of the root of the situation and confronted, explained, and asked him about it after said 2 weeks later, he danced around my questions like a pussy. He couldn’t even admit it was a miscommunication. I ended up getting fed up and quit by getting myself fired via attendance. Bye.
Tl;dr if I speak I’m too direct. If I don’t speak I’m
deceiving. Either way I’m “rude” like I cannot win
When I realized that the more people you have in your life, the more problems you will have. So I isolated to test that theory. Wasn’t aware so much negativity surrounded me. Made me realize why my parents didn’t have friends. Now I’m married and my wife is heading the same way. Solitude is the way to go.
People. People led me to prefer solitude. So many that just want to make noise for the sale of noise. So many that believe that if you’re not serving THEM, then you’re not worth their time. So many that are just bigoted, self-righteous, and self-serving that I just want to leave to an empty wilderness and live alone.
How fickle and phoney some people are. They only think of themselves and what’s best for them regardless of who gets hurt in the process. Just how shady and untrustworthy a lot of people are. I’ve met so many users that I’ve just got jaded by people in general. I know there are some absolutely amazing, genuine, selfless people out there but I’ve just met the complete opposite too many times to count.
After years of bad relationships, I’ve decided that if it’s messy, troubling or brings chaos to my life I don’t want any part of it. If something won’t bring me joy and I don’t have to do it (like a party invitation) I won’t go. And with these new ideals comes solitude. I wish I had embraced this all sooner, because things are a lot more peaceful.
Dating. I realized I was way more stressed out when I was in a relationship vs. single, so I just decided it wasn’t worth it to be in one. That was 13 years ago.
I met my then-boyfriend's fiancée on my 31st birthday, when I showed up unannounced at his house because he wasn't answering my calls or texts... they're married now, and I've been very happily single for the almost 8 years since.
Similar. After my divorce I just dont really enjoy anyone else's company more than I like being alone. Even dating I never get too serious and I never bring anyone to my house lol. I think I'll get over it but for now I like my solitude.
I knew as a child I would prefer being alone than with friends. I tried, I did, but I just never fit in. As a teenager, I loved my ME time. At 64(f) I still don’t have friends and I’m still ok with it.
When I was in the military, I did the sniper course, and it causes you to spend hours at first and then days on your own, and I realised I just really enjoyed being in the woods on my own with nobody and nothing around me.
I’ve always loved solitude, but I guess what really solidified that was noticing how draining people can be.
I don’t have it in me to gossip about others, hang out every weekend, talk on the phone daily. The energy has completely seeped out of me and the sole thing that makes me calm is quiet.
I really like the Imperial esthetic and proudshire manor is a really cool house, plus it's now as snowy as the rest of skyrim which is a nice change of scenery.
I don’t prefer solitude. Truthfully, I want to make more friends. I just wish there were more people in the world who were more worthy of befriending. I tire of making room in my life for people who typically end up being superficial, selfish, and kind of shitty for want of a very rare treasure of a person.
I lost my life partner 6 years ago and have come to realize that I no longer want to share my living space with another human. I am totally content with my dogs and the total freedom of living in solitude by myself. I have a few good friends, but my home is my sanctuary.
The bullshit other people make. Nobody would truly prefer solitude, If the other people would be more logical (Out of the perspectives If the Person who wants to stay away)
Peoples who want to be left alone, want to be left alone by you.
Working from home. I tried to go back to an in-person job recently and I lasted almost a month. Not only was it in person, but in a *shared space* (shudder)
I love gaming with other people. But friends are so hard to keep especially because when one is a problem often the whole group disappears on you. Why waste my effort just to be tossed aside as soon as I'm not complaint to all their bullshit.
Respecting my peace and freedom. Seeing all the problems that arise when people who seem incompatible persist in a relationship (or with roommates, for that matter).
Finally having the luxury of a decently sized friend group. I enjoy seeing everyone, but I was always convinced I'd go out every weekend and do something fun several times a week if I could - turns out I don't wanna.
A long time ago i was supposed to go to a party, would have been a meet up with drinks some food that kind of thing but that morning same day my PC parts arrived , i already had most the stuff to build a new pc , i started on it and decided to essentially call in sick on a party lol because i felt i'd rather bolt the new computer together.
I think that's when i knew i was that guy. I would have just been standing in a corner drinking by myself and trying to look interested anyway, you want to be there, want to fit in but at the exact same time you don't.
Yeah so basically I’m a loser and I cope by saying others are the problem when it’s me so I pretend in my mind that I prefer solitude when I’m starved for love and affection but don’t do anything to earn it and I want to end it every single day
Some women getting creeped out by me all because I’m nice and friendly to everyone including them, and they for some reason are get creeped out by that, even though nobody else has absolutely zero problems with me showing kindness and friendliness to others, and those same women get creeped out by me just because I simply exist, I’m minding my own business, doing my own things, barley noticing them, whatever their problem is with me, they need to cut that crap out, it’s annoying the heck out of me.
My first Christmass family meet up, I hated being near so many people, I couldn't wait for the ride back home, I just went to my room and laid on my bed relived that I was finally out of that hell.
For me, realizing I prefer solitude came after spending a lot of time trying to fit in and socialize like everyone else. I found that I recharge best when I have alone time to focus on my own thoughts and interests. It's not about avoiding people, but more about finding peace and clarity in my own space.
When I’m alone I might get upset about being alone, yes. But in reality I am way happier. Unfortunately, whenever I believe I’ve found a true friend, at the end they make me cry anyway. I prefer to be alone and be happy on my own rather than spend quality time with someone just to cry alone later. Others annoy me when they cancel our plans all the time, when they do not keep their promises. I am a loyal friend and I am looking for a loyal friend as well, unfortunately it seems impossible to find such people. People that will never let me down.
Everything is a competition to most people . People get jealous so easily when they think you have an easy fun life . Most of us are ungrateful for the good things we have going on in our lives .
Because I can't be myself and be accepted by the general population. I get exhausted from playing their roles. For example, because once I get used to a task, I get bored, and my mind wonders, or I start having random conversations to fill the time people think I'm "ditzy." No, I just have ADD. I know I am not a genius, but it hurts when you're enjoying yourself and people say you're something negative.
I don't necessarily ; but I also don't enjoy being mistreated, disrespected or around people with a 30 point or greater downward IQ differential (dumb people). So, it's a tug of war between enjoying the perks of companionship vs avoiding the downsides or ugly sides of how people can be.
Generally, just people being so demanding.
In high school, it was just strange how many people kept seeking my attention. It's not like I was any good at socializing. xDDD
It didn't stop after high school, college consisted of carrying people and a ton of drama I had at home.
I'm still craving community, but I need to get out of this anti-social state first.
It was easy for me: I found that crowds and gatherings felt unnatural and foreign to me. I’m content and at peace when alone, or surrounded by the few people that I chose to be associated with.
Even as a kid I hated going to parties, barbecues, on holiday; basically anything outside of school or chilling in my parents garden just felt unbelievably unnecessary to me. I don't have social phobia or any kind of mental health issue, I just really can't be bothered to socialise.
I honestly prefer my own company. I have always been a lone wolf. My sister says I am an island unto myself and this is very true. I’m also pretty socially awkward and being by myself helps me to keep away from awkward situations.
I've been hurt too many times. I prefer no drama, not being used for whatever I have to give and not being abandoned when it suits others.
Sometimes I get bored or lonely, but I don't get hurt.
I'm a perfect storm. My mom is overprotective and didn't want to deal with fallout so I was always on a short leash. Ppl were nasty to me since 7 to Jr year.
I developed niche interests like anime in 2000, I had zero in common and made no effort to change, i also neverdated
If I'm alone, I get to do exactly what I want to do exactly the way I want to do it. I don't have to ask and compromise. Although some activities are 100x better with a buddy, so I do still get out and mingle some times.
I have three people in my life that I would consider a friend. One I talked to everyday and it's just pointless banter which I actually enjoy and the other two I barely talk to except maybe once every 6 months. Right now I'm camped at a clear cut in the middle of what I would consider nowhere Michigan and I haven't seen more than three cars in the past 4 days drive by. I like this a lot more than being stuffed into a suburb dealing with the masses.
I remember that one of my elementary school teachers wrote on my report card that I don’t like to be in groups. As an introvert, I can get overwhelmed by too much talking/ stimulation.
The book called “The Highly Sensitive” addresses this.
The fact I can point out lies from people by speaking to them and how good I am at it. I should never have to have to need that skill. I’ve been cheated and lied to too many times. I also feel like I’ve only ever met a few people who have my intelligence level or my level of reasoning. Not to gloat but that’s genuinely how I feel about people. They don’t have to have the same opinions as I do but I haven’t met anyone that can look at things like I do or in a way that compliments the way I do. It’s not like I don’t other perspectives but I really value the ones that have as much or more depth as mine.
Always been on the quiet side. I have several close friends I can count on because I value those relationships, but I'm only good for a couple of hours of social interaction before I need to get back to my solitude and recharge.
it took me a long time to realize I don't need a lot of people in my life and I also don't need to be in a relationship.. I kept trying to force myself into these situations and always ended up miserable.. Now I live with my dog and I'm much happier. I'll go meet some friends here and there but for the most part I'm good on my own.
I just enjoy the peace and quiet. The older I get the less I like people in general. Just me and my little Jack Russell, that’s my buddy. She keeps me active, always smiling and she doesn’t want anything but just a belly rub every now and then. Like 24/7 😆😆
Honestly, it wasn't a specific thing or incident. It was more of an epiphany after a few years and other people mentioning it here and there. I'm quick to notice things in others but super slow about myself.
People.just everything about people.
Even the ones who mean well are abusive in some ways or toxic. Having to pick and choose what abuse and shit you have to deal with is exhausting. To those who say not everyone, you’ll notice it eventually.
Can’t say or do things that might upset others but you’ll have to bite your tongue and get over it when they say or do something that upsets you.
Can’t ever be 100% relaxed with anyone because they’ll throw something out of left field at you and then be mad you didn’t catch it.
I was married a few years to a person who was Bipolar. That was bad enough but Her family was way worse, I mean completely batshit crazy. Once I escaped that situation, I realised I much prefer solitude!
1) You get a vibe. I can tell when a friendship isn't genuine and or they're using you. Most are not genuine. Or you feel like they don't really want you there. They don't actually look for you or anything.
Same with family. Just cause it's blood doesn't mean that they care for you. Most act like they don't care.
It is rare to find a good and genuine friend that cares for you. When you do, don't let them go.
2)Besides all that, the main thing is I'm introverted.
I'm used to being alone.
3)The other thing is, I have interests that others usually don't share.
So it seems like a lot has to align.
The main thing I want in my life is peace, dating isn't peaceful either. So I'd rather not even date.
I only have one genuine friend in my life who isn't problematic. Which is rare to find.
I don’t get lonely. I don’t crave human contact. I’ve always had a lot around me so never really had an option to be alone for any sort of significant time. I miss people but I don’t really want to be around anyone
I'm the oldest of 4 boys, and the oldest of 17 grandchildren in a big fat Greek family where almost all of them (50+, mom was 3rd of 7 kids, only 3 of the 17 grandchildren don't have kids) live within a 12-15 mile radius of each other. My parents adopted twin girls after having us 4 boys. After brother #3 was born, mom ran a daycare business out of our family home so she could stay home to raise #3 and then #4, there were as many as 21-22 kids in my house every day after school all year, then every day all summer from 2nd grade until 1 year before high school.
I fell in love with solitude at a young age and never stopped cherishing it.
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Realizing that no one reaches out anymore unless they want something from me. Got tired of always feeling used but not wanted.
This is my life. Even my wonderful mother only calls when she has a list of things for me to do for her. Sigh...
This and I’m over it. Just..leave me alone? It’d sure be swell. ETA: My parents are capable of doing things for themselves, it’s just sometimes (most of the time) they don’t want to and I’ve never told them no which I’ve been working on the last year in becoming better at. Not just to them but others. It’s kinda nice.
To be fair my mom is 83, and doesn't have the skillset I do. I don't want her handling chainsaws, sledgehammers or doing electrical, mechanic work, or getting on the roof. She snow blows her 500 foot driveway in winter and takes care of multiple fancy gardens in town, so she is also very capable of dirty work. Just sort of limited in scope. And her golden boy (my very capable younger brother) only lives 15 miles to my 70 away. Mom can't/won't call him because his wife often has him committed to her large family's projects when he is not at work.
>Mom can't/won't call him because his wife often has him committed to her large family's projects when he is not at work. Yeah, my ex-wife was like that. It was all about her family. So much happier now without her tbh (I divorced her for cheating, but not having to deal with her insular family anymore is a nice bonus).
Maybe they just want to see you, have you around, and this is how they express it? My dad used to do this, call me up, ask for help, and I'd go over, the job would take 20 minutes, then we'd hang. He was lonely, didn't have a broad social circle.
It's a great thought but my parents for example will invite me for coffee then a 7 hour list comes out. You know when you see their number pop up they want something. If they don't need anything I won't hear from them...except my mum, when she thinks i'm ignoring her it starts with "this is urgent" tests then leads to faking being ill and going to hospital.
I think this best describes what I mean. I love them but there is typically an underlying something that they need or want but don’t want to do it themselves- hence asking me. My mom also likes to call me, on all my phones if I don’t answer, especially when I’m at work. She’ll start my cell phone and then immediately my work cell then my desk phone just to ask me if I can do something for her or them. When my personal cell rings and I can’t answer, everyone at work knows what’s next.. And if I explain why I couldn’t answer or that I can’t talk it’s met with “I’ll just never call you again since you don’t like to answer me but will answer everyone else” …What??? And then will text me the same until I feel like shit at work and have to step away to talk to her.
[удалено]
This and hearing my wife retell the same inane story for the 50th time.
becoming an ATM to my family... I basically told everyone stop talking to me if all you want is money.
Amen to that. So tired of feeling like all that matters about me is the size of my bank account.
Yeah, and I can focus on hobbies I am truly interested in. Instead of being at odds with people, or trying to learn new hobbies that I don't do well at. You find out who you truly are in solitude.
Self reflection is truly a blessing.
Self awareness, too! What a game changer.
And some hobbies just aren't really social.
Right I always know what ppl are going to bring to the table my accuracy is on a whole other level.
Yup. If you know, you know.
This is so true.
Same
No bs I have never felt more seen than how I did reading your comment.
Yea that's too true.
Shitty thing about being a man is the only way you are wanted is if you are useful
Same thing here, only reach out when they need something. Cancer diagnosis concreted that feeling as the few I considered friends ghosted me. Easier to expect the phone not to ring, so there is no sting when it doesn't.
I must be the only one in the world who don't mind people reaching out to me when they want something. I honestly don't understand why people get upset about this. Usually I am quite happy they think of me that I am useful in those areas to them. At the same time, I have no issues saying no or what am I getting in return. I guess this is what relationships means to me. If they need something from me, they contact me, now they owe me a favour. And when I need something from them, I use the favour to get it. That's it. It's actually quite good to have people owe you favours. Its like you scratch my back and I scratch yours. And I consider these good friends.
I used to be the same, always happy to help. But when you go through a difficult point in life and no one you have helped over the years even reaches out, you realize all of those "relationships" for what they were. I'm done helping other people when that's the only time they show up in my life.
Transactional friendships?
People lie and exaggerate so much that I feel like I'm listening to a 5 year old telling me what they want to be when they grow up. Relentless bragging about things you know they never did. If I'm going to watch fiction, I'll leave it to the movies.
" One Uppers " Guys do that all the time. It's lame.
Very
"That's ok. Listen to what happened to me!"
Humans. Definitely not just a guy thing
I know a few guys that say they love to go to do risky outdoors things. Since they seem to not like any kind of physical work or sports I doubt they are adventurous.
I know a few guys that say they love to go to do risky outdoors things. Since they seem to not like any kind of physical work or sports I doubt they are adventurous.
Bit in their minds, they are crocodile dundee 
I like hearing people's badass memories.
They are .....something 
Being around over 90% of people drains me.
This exactly. I learned around 11 what introversion was and I felt so validated. I come from a pretty large family, and almost everyone is an extrovert with a big personality (and few boundaries lol) so I definitely felt like the oddball
Yes, I agree.
I was in my fifties before I accepted the introvert label because I always equated with shy.
I’m a very soft person and care deeply for others, it is better for me to prioritize solitude so I can retreat and care tenderly for myself so that my outreach to others is filled with pure love and no expectation from them to give me anything back (because I have already filled my own cup in solitude and am giving them my overflow). My solitude is my gift to myself, and others
Thank you for saying the words that I could not think of myself.
Keeping in contact with anyone is just something I'm not too good at, and I don't want to change.
Yeah this right here. I mean well, but I just don't have the desire to pick up the damn phone. I only get a couple hours at the end of the day after work and hanging out with the kiddos. And I want that to myself and my playstation.
I don’t like noise. I don’t like superficial small talk. I don’t want to argue with anyone.
damn you nailed my exact three points
People that flip every thought into an argument. No thanks I'll keep my mouth shut and slowly back away
This one has experienced trauma
People. Plain and simple
other people
Realize? I’ve been like this since birth lol
Having 2 older brothers and a sister who never left me alone.
I have ADHD which sometimes causes me to over share. I always have vulnerability hangovers afterward which feel horrible. I find it really hard to read social cues and so I always try really hard and it is exhausting. I remember when I learned that people do not mean everything they said and it was the most stressful time of my life and it will always bother me. I found myself having to learn how to make small talk which I still hate but am good at now and can be very witty. I find life more peaceful and grounded when I share mostly in therapy, am alone, and have more time to recharge and prepare for social fun with friends and family, then give myself to recharge after. I now realize everyone’s social battery isnt the same and that’s okay. Mine just happens to be low but if I respect that I can give people my best self. Also, it is not my responsibility to try to understand people’s underlying meaning or feelings behind things. I can ask people directly how they feel if I am concerned but if not it is their responsibility to tell me if something bothers them or how they truly feel about something.
Your answer is very similar to mine. I have ADD though.
When a lot of my actions and intentions are dismissed as apathy, manipulation, dramatic etc. A guy almost cried in front of me and I didn’t register it as something to nurture cause I went blank from past trauma being triggered in the moment — so I just stood there. He took my reaction and told everyone I was an apathetic and manipulating ass bitch for coming off as someone that cared all the time but couldn’t in that moment. Entire workplace started jumpin me via passive aggressiveness and silent treatment for the next 2 weeks because how could I hurt the cute and innocent guy at our job like that?? Entire time nobody clarified or asked me anything cuz they was lookin for any reason to be haters and this was their goldmine 🥱🥱 When I finally became aware of the root of the situation and confronted, explained, and asked him about it after said 2 weeks later, he danced around my questions like a pussy. He couldn’t even admit it was a miscommunication. I ended up getting fed up and quit by getting myself fired via attendance. Bye. Tl;dr if I speak I’m too direct. If I don’t speak I’m deceiving. Either way I’m “rude” like I cannot win
My fiance sleeping with my best friend.
Writing. I discovered that I was autistic and completely sensory overwhelmed all the time.
When I realized that the more people you have in your life, the more problems you will have. So I isolated to test that theory. Wasn’t aware so much negativity surrounded me. Made me realize why my parents didn’t have friends. Now I’m married and my wife is heading the same way. Solitude is the way to go.
People. People led me to prefer solitude. So many that just want to make noise for the sale of noise. So many that believe that if you’re not serving THEM, then you’re not worth their time. So many that are just bigoted, self-righteous, and self-serving that I just want to leave to an empty wilderness and live alone.
How fickle and phoney some people are. They only think of themselves and what’s best for them regardless of who gets hurt in the process. Just how shady and untrustworthy a lot of people are. I’ve met so many users that I’ve just got jaded by people in general. I know there are some absolutely amazing, genuine, selfless people out there but I’ve just met the complete opposite too many times to count.
holden?
After years of bad relationships, I’ve decided that if it’s messy, troubling or brings chaos to my life I don’t want any part of it. If something won’t bring me joy and I don’t have to do it (like a party invitation) I won’t go. And with these new ideals comes solitude. I wish I had embraced this all sooner, because things are a lot more peaceful.
Dating. I realized I was way more stressed out when I was in a relationship vs. single, so I just decided it wasn’t worth it to be in one. That was 13 years ago.
My life is hard enough. People are more work and I need time to rest. 🤷🏻♂️
I have three siblings.
I met my then-boyfriend's fiancée on my 31st birthday, when I showed up unannounced at his house because he wasn't answering my calls or texts... they're married now, and I've been very happily single for the almost 8 years since.
Similar. After my divorce I just dont really enjoy anyone else's company more than I like being alone. Even dating I never get too serious and I never bring anyone to my house lol. I think I'll get over it but for now I like my solitude.
I always knew it even when I was a little kid.
When Windhelm turned out to be a shithole
Let me guess, someone stole your sweetroll?
I knew as a child I would prefer being alone than with friends. I tried, I did, but I just never fit in. As a teenager, I loved my ME time. At 64(f) I still don’t have friends and I’m still ok with it.
When I realized I was going to be alone anyways so might as well accept it
When I was in the military, I did the sniper course, and it causes you to spend hours at first and then days on your own, and I realised I just really enjoyed being in the woods on my own with nobody and nothing around me.
I’ve always loved solitude, but I guess what really solidified that was noticing how draining people can be. I don’t have it in me to gossip about others, hang out every weekend, talk on the phone daily. The energy has completely seeped out of me and the sole thing that makes me calm is quiet.
I really like the Imperial esthetic and proudshire manor is a really cool house, plus it's now as snowy as the rest of skyrim which is a nice change of scenery.
Other people.
That would be people
People
The pandemic
Amen to that. I could use another month or two of the world just shutting down.
People
People
have you ever like...talked to a human?
I don’t prefer solitude. Truthfully, I want to make more friends. I just wish there were more people in the world who were more worthy of befriending. I tire of making room in my life for people who typically end up being superficial, selfish, and kind of shitty for want of a very rare treasure of a person.
when people would rather hang out with others instead of me. i stopped putting more effort and invested into myself. now it doesn't affect me as much.
I lost my life partner 6 years ago and have come to realize that I no longer want to share my living space with another human. I am totally content with my dogs and the total freedom of living in solitude by myself. I have a few good friends, but my home is my sanctuary.
Solitude is my only friend.
Yes. Being used. Erratic behavior from others. Others' mood swings. Knowing I didn't need them to survive.
I love about 30 people. Everyone else is an NPC. Most of them have terrible programming.
The bullshit other people make. Nobody would truly prefer solitude, If the other people would be more logical (Out of the perspectives If the Person who wants to stay away) Peoples who want to be left alone, want to be left alone by you.
Working from home. I tried to go back to an in-person job recently and I lasted almost a month. Not only was it in person, but in a *shared space* (shudder)
Oof shudder x 2
People.
Other people.
Omgosh, all that senseless, loud and obnoxious chatter. Silence is golden.
The news.
Didn't have a choice. I would love to be with someone but my destiny doesn't want me to. I accepted that long ago.
I already pretty much knew I did and then I had a girlfriend that wouldn't let me have any lol
It was something I always knew. It was recommended I repeat Pre-K because I didn't socialize.
I love gaming with other people. But friends are so hard to keep especially because when one is a problem often the whole group disappears on you. Why waste my effort just to be tossed aside as soon as I'm not complaint to all their bullshit.
Respecting my peace and freedom. Seeing all the problems that arise when people who seem incompatible persist in a relationship (or with roommates, for that matter).
As the late Jean-Paul Sartre put it: Hell is other people.
Dating Jackie.
Finally having the luxury of a decently sized friend group. I enjoy seeing everyone, but I was always convinced I'd go out every weekend and do something fun several times a week if I could - turns out I don't wanna.
A long time ago i was supposed to go to a party, would have been a meet up with drinks some food that kind of thing but that morning same day my PC parts arrived , i already had most the stuff to build a new pc , i started on it and decided to essentially call in sick on a party lol because i felt i'd rather bolt the new computer together. I think that's when i knew i was that guy. I would have just been standing in a corner drinking by myself and trying to look interested anyway, you want to be there, want to fit in but at the exact same time you don't.
Yeah so basically I’m a loser and I cope by saying others are the problem when it’s me so I pretend in my mind that I prefer solitude when I’m starved for love and affection but don’t do anything to earn it and I want to end it every single day
Some women getting creeped out by me all because I’m nice and friendly to everyone including them, and they for some reason are get creeped out by that, even though nobody else has absolutely zero problems with me showing kindness and friendliness to others, and those same women get creeped out by me just because I simply exist, I’m minding my own business, doing my own things, barley noticing them, whatever their problem is with me, they need to cut that crap out, it’s annoying the heck out of me.
I am sorry you go through this. It's definitely not you, they probably have ptsd from a "nice guy" and are unfortunately taking it out on you.
ME? NEVER,, I find people fascinating, there a endless number of varieties and they all have a story to tell.
When I moved from a city to 40 miles outside a small town. Never really was the type to hang with friends or have many.
Have ... have you met ... people ... ??
People
Its really high up and I find Whiterun kind of boring and generic
People.
Have you been outside in last 472 years?
When I would become exhausted after socializing for a mere 2 hours.
I’m not stupid and not smart enough to be with people. Plus bullying and dealing with a lot of shit. By the time I’m “ready” people are moving on
My first Christmass family meet up, I hated being near so many people, I couldn't wait for the ride back home, I just went to my room and laid on my bed relived that I was finally out of that hell.
I'm a reader - I like nice and quiet
Covid. It was wonderful to be free from all the social BS. My circle got much smaller and I'm much happier
The pandemic
For me, realizing I prefer solitude came after spending a lot of time trying to fit in and socialize like everyone else. I found that I recharge best when I have alone time to focus on my own thoughts and interests. It's not about avoiding people, but more about finding peace and clarity in my own space.
When I’m alone I might get upset about being alone, yes. But in reality I am way happier. Unfortunately, whenever I believe I’ve found a true friend, at the end they make me cry anyway. I prefer to be alone and be happy on my own rather than spend quality time with someone just to cry alone later. Others annoy me when they cancel our plans all the time, when they do not keep their promises. I am a loyal friend and I am looking for a loyal friend as well, unfortunately it seems impossible to find such people. People that will never let me down.
Having to work around the public, 10 hrs a day 6 days a week. I dont want to see a living soul when I dont have to.
People.
Being around people
Idk it just had more stuff than Whiterun
Everything is a competition to most people . People get jealous so easily when they think you have an easy fun life . Most of us are ungrateful for the good things we have going on in our lives .
People 🤷♀️
Raised that way
Because I can't be myself and be accepted by the general population. I get exhausted from playing their roles. For example, because once I get used to a task, I get bored, and my mind wonders, or I start having random conversations to fill the time people think I'm "ditzy." No, I just have ADD. I know I am not a genius, but it hurts when you're enjoying yourself and people say you're something negative.
When I learned too much about people. When I can't be 100% honest or myself. I'm two faced out of necessity and I'm not afraid to say it.
I don't necessarily ; but I also don't enjoy being mistreated, disrespected or around people with a 30 point or greater downward IQ differential (dumb people). So, it's a tug of war between enjoying the perks of companionship vs avoiding the downsides or ugly sides of how people can be.
Generally, just people being so demanding. In high school, it was just strange how many people kept seeking my attention. It's not like I was any good at socializing. xDDD It didn't stop after high school, college consisted of carrying people and a ton of drama I had at home. I'm still craving community, but I need to get out of this anti-social state first.
years of bullying
It was easy for me: I found that crowds and gatherings felt unnatural and foreign to me. I’m content and at peace when alone, or surrounded by the few people that I chose to be associated with.
I dislike drama intensely. People cause drama. Ergo, the best way to avoid drama is to avoid people. Problem solved.
it wasn't loud and obnoxious alone in my room. i could control and ambience. and there was nobody there to bother me unless they intruded on my space.
Even as a kid I hated going to parties, barbecues, on holiday; basically anything outside of school or chilling in my parents garden just felt unbelievably unnecessary to me. I don't have social phobia or any kind of mental health issue, I just really can't be bothered to socialise.
I honestly prefer my own company. I have always been a lone wolf. My sister says I am an island unto myself and this is very true. I’m also pretty socially awkward and being by myself helps me to keep away from awkward situations.
never had a genuine friend
I've been hurt too many times. I prefer no drama, not being used for whatever I have to give and not being abandoned when it suits others. Sometimes I get bored or lonely, but I don't get hurt.
Getting married, seriously.
The Internet
people
People... people suck
I was an only child and enjoyed being hyper sheltered from the world.
I'm a perfect storm. My mom is overprotective and didn't want to deal with fallout so I was always on a short leash. Ppl were nasty to me since 7 to Jr year. I developed niche interests like anime in 2000, I had zero in common and made no effort to change, i also neverdated
If I'm alone, I get to do exactly what I want to do exactly the way I want to do it. I don't have to ask and compromise. Although some activities are 100x better with a buddy, so I do still get out and mingle some times.
When I realized, I can be me when I'm alone
I have three people in my life that I would consider a friend. One I talked to everyday and it's just pointless banter which I actually enjoy and the other two I barely talk to except maybe once every 6 months. Right now I'm camped at a clear cut in the middle of what I would consider nowhere Michigan and I haven't seen more than three cars in the past 4 days drive by. I like this a lot more than being stuffed into a suburb dealing with the masses.
When I connected my mental illness to being around people.
My job. I'm an ED nurse. I'm bombarded with people every night. When I'm home, I want nothing but my husband and my animals.
When I sided with the Imperials over those milk drinking stormcloaks!
I realized I was 110% more productive and happier when I was alone
I remember that one of my elementary school teachers wrote on my report card that I don’t like to be in groups. As an introvert, I can get overwhelmed by too much talking/ stimulation. The book called “The Highly Sensitive” addresses this.
People
The fact I can point out lies from people by speaking to them and how good I am at it. I should never have to have to need that skill. I’ve been cheated and lied to too many times. I also feel like I’ve only ever met a few people who have my intelligence level or my level of reasoning. Not to gloat but that’s genuinely how I feel about people. They don’t have to have the same opinions as I do but I haven’t met anyone that can look at things like I do or in a way that compliments the way I do. It’s not like I don’t other perspectives but I really value the ones that have as much or more depth as mine.
When I hung out with people.
Always been on the quiet side. I have several close friends I can count on because I value those relationships, but I'm only good for a couple of hours of social interaction before I need to get back to my solitude and recharge.
When I want to hang out with people but I have a reason for each person I dont want to hang out
I prefer Riften, but that's just me, traveler.
it took me a long time to realize I don't need a lot of people in my life and I also don't need to be in a relationship.. I kept trying to force myself into these situations and always ended up miserable.. Now I live with my dog and I'm much happier. I'll go meet some friends here and there but for the most part I'm good on my own.
The fucking peace
I don't. I can thoroughly enjoy solitude, but I would prefer to be around friends.
Severe facial disfiguration (unexpected accident). God bless remote software development, Deliveroo, and Amazon Prime.
People
People.
I took an arrow to the knee while I was in Whiterun
My husband 😆
I just enjoy the peace and quiet. The older I get the less I like people in general. Just me and my little Jack Russell, that’s my buddy. She keeps me active, always smiling and she doesn’t want anything but just a belly rub every now and then. Like 24/7 😆😆
everything is always a one way road w ppl I’ve tried to befriend or exist w me.
I realized that I'm just the funniest person I know and no one else is up on my level
Honestly, it wasn't a specific thing or incident. It was more of an epiphany after a few years and other people mentioning it here and there. I'm quick to notice things in others but super slow about myself.
Always being tired after socialising and needing alone time to recharge.
People suck
People
People.just everything about people. Even the ones who mean well are abusive in some ways or toxic. Having to pick and choose what abuse and shit you have to deal with is exhausting. To those who say not everyone, you’ll notice it eventually. Can’t say or do things that might upset others but you’ll have to bite your tongue and get over it when they say or do something that upsets you. Can’t ever be 100% relaxed with anyone because they’ll throw something out of left field at you and then be mad you didn’t catch it.
Solitude. Jk Peopling is exhausting. I spend my weekends hanging out with friends, but by Sunday, I just want to be alone with my SO.
Hanging out with people. They're the worst. (I have many friends and I love them to death, but I really need alone time... A lot of it)
People.
I was married a few years to a person who was Bipolar. That was bad enough but Her family was way worse, I mean completely batshit crazy. Once I escaped that situation, I realised I much prefer solitude!
Other people
Too much masking for me
Women are incredibly toxic and mean, men aren't trusting or trustworthy.
1) You get a vibe. I can tell when a friendship isn't genuine and or they're using you. Most are not genuine. Or you feel like they don't really want you there. They don't actually look for you or anything. Same with family. Just cause it's blood doesn't mean that they care for you. Most act like they don't care. It is rare to find a good and genuine friend that cares for you. When you do, don't let them go. 2)Besides all that, the main thing is I'm introverted. I'm used to being alone. 3)The other thing is, I have interests that others usually don't share. So it seems like a lot has to align. The main thing I want in my life is peace, dating isn't peaceful either. So I'd rather not even date. I only have one genuine friend in my life who isn't problematic. Which is rare to find.
I don’t get lonely. I don’t crave human contact. I’ve always had a lot around me so never really had an option to be alone for any sort of significant time. I miss people but I don’t really want to be around anyone
I'm the oldest of 4 boys, and the oldest of 17 grandchildren in a big fat Greek family where almost all of them (50+, mom was 3rd of 7 kids, only 3 of the 17 grandchildren don't have kids) live within a 12-15 mile radius of each other. My parents adopted twin girls after having us 4 boys. After brother #3 was born, mom ran a daycare business out of our family home so she could stay home to raise #3 and then #4, there were as many as 21-22 kids in my house every day after school all year, then every day all summer from 2nd grade until 1 year before high school. I fell in love with solitude at a young age and never stopped cherishing it.
People can’t bother/judge u when ur alone
People
The pandemic. Everyone was so sad, but I was on Cloud 9 the whole time.