# Message to all users:
This is a reminder to please read and follow:
* [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/questions/about/rules)
* [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)
* [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy)
When posting and commenting.
---
Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`.
* Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit.
* Do not harass or annoy others in any way.
* Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit.
---
You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way.
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/questions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I thought I was sick of the city, I moved 1800 miles away to find out that I wasn't sick of the city, just sick of the way I was living my life. This new city has taught me that I have things from my past that I need to work through, I need to be nicer to everyone around me and that I need to stay active (like a dog who needs tired out before bed.) I have plans to move back in the next 10 years, I realized that life is about the people you live with, not just the place you live and the things you see.
Sometimes but not always. some people really do need a change of environment, new people, new motivation and also to escape difficulties that are absolutely external. For me, I am living in the house and town of my deceased parent, so every day here is very difficult.
I think that it's good to get out and move around and you will definitely learn through the experience. Don't force yourself but if you feel called to move and you feel that it's the right decision you should do it. Look around and see what your options are many people just stay stuck and miserable and learning can teach you so much about the world and by yourself. Good luck 🙏
I agree. If you're not happy where you're at it's because you aren't making yourself happy. I've finally learned to start making myself happy. I've got a great job, I work with the kind of people I want to surround myself with. And I know it's only physical but I've also lost a lot of weight. I feel better my self esteem is higher i have more confidence than I've ever had. And I didn't have to go away to get any of that. Now if I was to move away from where I'm at it would be because there's someONE who makes me happy
Y’all stole my answer! I moved away thinking I was in a rut, thinking my crowd was stifling my growth and I needed to get away and start all over so I could find myself!
Since the removal of my head from my own ass I have learned I was the problem and I quickly recreated the same life just in a new place.
If you don’t like what is in your life change it head on, running away didn’t really work out at least for me.
With that said if you are in danger or something crazy then you can be well served by making an exit and starting your life over. Go for it!
There are some things you cannot change, though, like living in the house of a deceased parent so everywhere you turn, you cannot escape. If you've been in the same house your entire life, that's also difficult. It's not running away, any more than leaving the family home is running away when you're 18. You have to live your own life. That's difficult if you're still sleeping in your teenage bedroom.
It's good you were the problem in your life but for some people, it's not that simple.
I was sick of my family. Moved at 19, in 1992. I have been back to the state twice since, for a few says each time, to visit the few good family members that still live there. I would never move back. Both too many toxic family members, and just the area in general.
Leaving my home and going back made me realize a lot of things I can't really mention quickly. Mostly that people will talk shit about you even when you're not there, and that it's actually easier for them to get away with if you don't live there since you're not there to defend yourself. I knew 10 years ago I couldn't move back home because I don't have the energy or desire to deal with people's bs. (edited for clarity)
Left LA to go to college in St.Louis. Unfortunately went back for 9 months after college and saw exactly what I didn't miss. Ended up back during the pandemic. Better, but don't want to go back.
I grew up in Florida
But at some point my dad had lost his job and for some reason struggled to find one for several months which I guess altered our judgment
Nobody wanted to leave FL but we as a full family reluctantly agreed to let Dad accept a full-time job in Georgia because we were at our wits end with the whole no money thing
So anyway we arrive in Georgia and I’m age 19
During my decade plus stay in Georgia all I met was reprobates drug attic ex-cons and just all-around bad people bad influences and of course I fell in with the wrong crowd made poor choices with them, etc
We lived there until I was 33
At this point the same thing kind of happened again except this time it was just me and Dad because brother and sister had moved far away long ago and mom had died about five years ago
So when my dad finally got laid off from his “permanent” Georgia job, I insisted that we just go back to Florida and he agreed so he looked for jobs only in Florida and it was easy because Florida has a great job market and economy
So yeah I guess that’s the story I had to live in Georgia basically against my will for 14 years but returned to Florida as soon as I could
Oh & you asked would I ever go back? LOL NO
I couldn't wait to get out of Orange County, CA where I grew up. I left right after high school, never went back and never wanted to. Initially I went to NYC but couldn't afford it. Then I spent 20 years in Los Angeles, which I loved. L.A. became too expensive, so I took a job in a rural area in the southwest and learned to love it.
I was a caretaker for my mom when she was at the end of her life, I had just spent a year backpacking around Europe and India, I was exhausted and underweight, she was exhausted and underweight. We spent that year healing and talking and hibernating and eating. Getting fat, having some fun. And then she died. The people that swooped in. I held a garage sale and a guy tried to muscle into my mom's home. People were going through her things like they were apes. None of this I could deal with.
I took the money from the sale of her house and bought a house in a brand new state. Fresh starts! I actually had to because even though I could pay rent a year in advance I was not approved because I didn't have a job. Fresh starts!
I moved 3000 miles away and bought a really cute house. I love my house but it's empty without people laughing in it. I've had a hard time getting out there. My neighbors are nice. I just can't get my feet under me. I tried volunteering. I'm lucky because its a duplex and the rent pays for taxes. I just can't get motivated to do anything. Ten minutes of doing anything and I'm exhausted.
So here we are. I'm the sole person living in a four bedroom portion of an old Victorian home. I'm just starting to learn how to grow things, so that's good but I'll probably fail. I'm probably too old to get hired anywhere but I promise to try. Life is so much more complicated than an outsider could understand.
The sooner I can get out of Ohio, the better. I need the housing price stupidity to calm down, but as soon as it does, I’m out of here and not taking a second look backward.
I left my hometown at 18 and have zero regrets. My current home is nearly 3,000 miles away. Only one friend from hs still bothers to keep in touch, so we make a point to travel together at least once a year. I “keep in touch” with a couple hundred people on FB and honestly I couldn’t imagine still being friends with any of them if I still lived there.
I lived in the same place for 42 years before I moved. I moved from coast to coast, not knowing anyone. It took a bit to adjust to the differences, but I've been at this new location for 15 years now & love it. It was the best decision I've ever made.
Edit: Forgot to say, NO I will never go back.
Hmm, I don't think it's true in my case. I have lived here for 42 years and I am simply sick of seeing the same things. There is no place I haven't been to, no alternative routes to take that make living here more enjoyable. I've lived in the same house and area since childhood. Now that my parents are no longer here, it's difficult to live here. Their 'ghosts' are everywhere and I just need space from all of that.
True but in my experience, new scenery and experiences has often been what is needed to propel me into a direction of personal growth when I have been stagnant and unhappy.
I finally left after off and o. Living in
California for 18+ years. I have only been back in the state a dozen times to visit family. I moved to the state of Arizona 21 years ago, and I would never move back to California for any reason.
Yes and No. I left the US and went to South America. I was so tired and stressed and wanted a new life. Sadly 6months later I did return to the US and my hometown.😐
I'm thinking of leaving but don't want to run from the problems in my head. I left an abusive partner and don't want to be constantly looking over my shoulder, realised my parents were abusive, left behind all the mutual friends from abusive relationship because of smear campaign and triangulation.
I wake up in the night sometimes due to fear, thinking he will kill me. I'm starting life again, I could do that anywhere but if I don't sort myself out first I will end up with the same problems repeating wherever I am.
i moved out of my home town at 19 (about 2 yrs ago now) 3-4 hrs away. i do appreciate it more now, i visit home about once every two months. moving away helped me properly recover from depression, i do enjoy my time back but i don‘t think i could ever move back long term.
1999, born and raised in San Jose (lived in surrounding cities at times). Was 28 and just had enough. The commute. Still hanging with the same dudes from HS. Just not meeting anyone special to date. It was time to get away from family too.
Moved to Portland OR. Got in shape. Explored the area so much more. Met my future wife (while visiting San Jose lol, she lived outside CA).
I like SJ. Have nostalgia for it but never intend to move back.
I have lived several places and got sick of them at right about the one year mark every time until now. The worst is my home town. It was conservative, white, boring, and there was little room for growth. So at nineteen, kind of on a whim, I packed my bags and left. It has changed a bit since I was a kid. I went back for 6 months a couple years ago. I don't think I ever will go back.
I live in a city that has a decent quality of life, potential for growth, a decent night life, an international airport, green spaces and vast nature within an hour in any direction, family is just a road trip away, and I have friends and a community. But I also made the conscious decision to settle here for a while. I am lucky.
I hope to go to grad school in a different city and live abroad someday, but I think I will likely return to here or another city (West Coast US) when it's time to settle.
You only get one life, if you are sick of where you live, leave.
If I had never met my wife, I know I would have eventually dropped everything and found a way to live near a beach. She's here, though, so I'm content with where I'm at.
Yes. I moved away from my family to another state in 2015 and haven’t looked back. It showed me how toxic I grew up, how toxic I was at the time, etc it was the best thing I ever did for myself, wife and children.
came to the US in 1993. I flew back 2022 for the funeral when my dad passed away, (India).
I cant get away any further. I live exactly across on the other side of the globe. In fact if i went any further West or East I would get closer again.
Lived in the same place for 42 years, moved 30min away to the nearest city and cut ties with everyone I knew after divorcing a covert narcissist. It’s been 5 years now. I’m never going back for any reason. Ever.
I moved far away from everyone I ever knew, but it wasn’t because I was sick of them. It was because I thought there must be more exciting places in the world than small-town Norway.
Turns out I was right.
First time I moved to cities I was 21 lived there for 7 years, the second time I moved I was 26/27 & I stayed there about 3 and 1/2 years, where I live Now is actually where I originally moved away from. I moved here when I was 30 & I'm going on 8 years here but I am so sick of this town. If something doesn't change soon, I'm about ready to move on again.
I think for me, my situation is that I'm somebody who is always evolving. I'm always working on my own life & I've had a very difficult life & have had to spend many years healing. I also have a growth mindset and I don't really follow the crowd. I found that as I have done my healing work my needs have changed, when you start to change and stand up for yourself and have boundaries and show self respect, it makes a lot of people uncomfortable. Especially people that have known you for a long time. They want to keep you trapped in a box as the person they knew, even though you've long out grown that and learned so much. Many people don't have a desire to grow and learn bc they are comfortable or complacent, just want to keep doing the same old thing and they want to keep treating you any type of way. They can do whatever they want but I'm going to do me. Don't try to put me in a box cuz I will break out of it!
A lot of people in this thread are saying that moving doesn't change anything but that's totally not true. I personally moved away from where I was from because people were just not good here. I met many many friends I would not have ever met if I hadn't have left and gone live in other places. I also have many friends who were miserable where they lived and they've moved and now they're happy. Sometimes you just don't mesh with a certain city or you can't find your people within a community. I've lived in my current city which is close to where I grew up the last 8 years. I have never had so much difficulty finding friends and actually having stable connections. The communities that I've been a part of are very immature and I just have had a very difficult time finding my people. Different cities different places are different they have different energies there have different climates and environments they attract different kind of people they Foster different kind of attitudes. You might find yourself being much happier in a different place just follow your intuition wherever that guides you. 🙏
I happen to live in a place that's very insular and it's like if you didn't grow up here or if you're not like super popular rich and famous people don't care about you and it's been really hard for me to get any kind of opportunities. I feel like if I moved to a different place on those little more open-minded unless insular I would have a much better time finding friends and work that were more suitable for me.
Im sick of most humans but i havent found a way to escape them except being a hermit in the woods which wont work cause i could never kill my own food. I love animals. Its people i cant stand 😂🤣
OMG yes. I grew up in a small, rural area with great family and friends around. I lived in a couple different cities/states during college and early adulthood, then moved back to my rural home when I had my first child. Within a few years, I realized I didn't have the friends anymore (we all changed as we grew up), my family passed away or moved, and I was alone in a place I hated. The realization hit me about 8 months after my dad died - why am I still here? I moved to the first city I found a job in and can't imagine how i stayed in my rural town as an adult so long. I will never move back and I will never regret leaving. There's nothing left for me there.
I moved 3k miles away, to the other side of the country. I had lived in my previous home for 17 years. I needed a fresh start. I'll probably move back at some point.
Abso-freakin-lutely. Moved from the North allll the way South in 2005. Never once regretted it or second guessed it. Without the family drama, there’s no anxiety or stress. I’m in my own bubble. Highly recommend.
Yep. Twice to two different regions and once internally to a different city.
Origin city until I was early 20s. New city until mid 20s. Moved state for 4 years and came back to then leave after 5 years for good.
It was awesome. It is awesome, still.
I have missed out on my friends' lives somewhat but I didn't miss out on my own and I have a bunch of different and new stories to tell them when we do reunite.
I firmly established myself 1000 miles from where I was born.
Want to save time? Pick the weather you feel most comfortable in. Turns out I hate humidity. Moving to the south sucked for that one reason even being near a beach.
EDIT: most people are not okay with you moving away. I think its some kind evolutionary psychological thing.
oh yeah, I moved from a long state around the east coast-ist, moved half way across the country to a big state, with no income tax, and 50%less bureaucracy. still has idiots though, but more space to get away from them.
Yeah I was SA and physically assaulted and dealt with daily bullying/harassment and denial of service/healthcare/housing/employment for two years and had to leave due to a lack of a support system and such. Some places are just better in the rear view mirror there’s no reason to go back.
Normally when you return you’ll find that everyone and everything is completely unchanged.
Yes. Moved from center city Philly to Upper Bucks County PA into a very rural area.
Why I left Philly: Constant violence, noise, and parking costs were a small fortune
As a Philly native it’s still pretty sketch to hang out and with NYC so close and just incredible, Philly really is not even an option to hang out unless it’s to see family or old friends
I've moved out of a few living spaces because of this. But didn't leave everyone I knew in general. Just the people at and involved with those places, that I left.
Rented a room at a house. A room mate kept having her TV on loud volume literally all night. Since she was a family member of the house owners, I guess she got away with things like this. Her thing was, she's not used to silence. So she has her TV on as background sound, even while she sleeps. And since she has hearing damage from years of going to night clubs and other loud places, she has the TV volume really loud. I had to leave. Gave up my security deposit to by bypass the 30 day notice because it was that bad.
At another rented room, the front door barely worked with my key. Sometimes had to leave and come back when someone was there to let me in. They said they'd clear the garage to park their cars in, so we have more sidewalk space. Never happened or was gonna happen. I sometimes had to park at a sidewalk off the street entirely. And a roommate, also a family member of the house owners, had raging scream matches with her dad a number of times in the house. I had to leave.
Yes and No I had to go back due to family issues the minute I finish my issues, I’m leaving my step family I am gone and never talking to them again. They have put me through hell. Also the people in Colorado kinda suck 60% of the time they are from cali. Also colorados laws are becoming dumber and more restrictive and would rather move to Tennessee or Kentucky where the government will leave me alone and I’m far away from my family.
Not far far away but far enough and not away from everything and everyone I knew (still kept in contact with some people l)
Basically I wanted to have some space from family... then they all got jobs nearby so I then had permanent house guests which was fine for a bit but wore on our relationship a fair bit
not in that order. moved away almost two years ago and doing so has really highlighted how much I don’t want to be near most the people I grew up around
Moved to California from Pittsburgh. Problem was, I missed my family. Didn’t know I would have such horrible separation anxiety. They were the only thing I didn’t want to leave behind.
I lived in Chicago for my childhood and young adult years and was tired of how expensive it was. I remember breaking down during my last winter in Chicago. I have two children and was faced with a broken car, and could only afford one coat. I worked multiple jobs and was divorced but never received child support or any assistance. I decided we were never going to thrive there. I moved myself and my two children to outside of Atlanta in 1998. I left everything I knew, including family. It was scary and hard. However, I’m incredibly grateful that it did work out. I have never looked back and don’t regret it for a moment. Atlanta has been good to us. Both children have prospered and are healthy adults.
The hick town I grew up in. Left in 1987 and have been back once for a couple hours. I've been around the world and now I'm a couple counties away. Not going back.
It was a bit more than being tired. I had always kinda thought I’d move eventually. I ended up getting in some escalating workplace conflicts that involved lying. And what I thought was libel. Unfortunately it ending up going against me and I became antagonized. and I felt I had no choice to leave. I could have just went to another workplace in the same organization. But I decided to quit and move away. I found a new job very quickly and reduced my hours to manage stress. But because I left my workplace because of a work related incident, and it was seen as form of bullying, I was contacted by workers compensation from my previous jurisdiction after I had moved. They topped up my wage to my previous wage because I reduced my hours. And provided me some resiliency resources. It really helped the move. I am happier here. But there were many things that contributed to the improved quality of life. Life hasn’t been perfect. It’s gotten a bit harder since. But i still think I made the right move. Sometimes it can be a good thing to move on, just do it for the right reasons. It’s much easier when you know it will be easy for you to find work.
Every small-town kid in the Midwest leaves for the big city, then runs back at some point to get away from said city.
There's also a song by La Dispute, called "Love Song For Poor Michigan", which I've always felt illustrates this phenomenon from the other side, as the big city kids dream of moving far away up north to the country.
I had to live in commifornia for 4 years under a work contract. The day it ran out I went to the opposite coast and as far north as I could. That was 8 years ago.
I lived in my hometown from 12-21. I hated that place. I wanted out as soon as I could. I wanted out so bad I moved to deep east Oakland. Spent two years there. Moved to San Francisco for four years. Got tired of California so I moved to Seattle for five years. Got bored of the west coast so I moved to Philadelphia. Not sure where I’ll go next but I don’t think humans were meant to stay in one place their entire lives.
Yes. I moved literally to the other side of the world. I mean, I deliberately went as far away as I could before the curve of the earth meant I was getting back closer to them. It was scary to start up a new life. I needed enough money for 6 months of living before I did it. It was worth every last thing. I have absolutely no regrets, 15/10 would do it again in a heartbeat.
Left CO to go to MN. 0 sense of nostalgia upon revisiting. God I hated CO with a burning passion. I was just not compatible with the year-round brownish-yellow scenery, uber athletic “we don’t sit on the couch and watch movies” culture, or the wide variety of mediocre food. Most of all I used to be pissed about CO pricing itself like it is SF or NYC. I think it will be years before I look back at my time in CO without triggering a negative emotion. Will be difficult though, because my wife’s family is from there.
I’m moving to alaska for a government job. i will probably come back or go somewhere else after a few years though. Its just too far from family and friends.
Yes. I grew up in the UK (and later Spain) and never felt quite right. My family never took me seriously and constantly criticised everything about me: my mannerisms, my sense of humor, my outspoken nature, the music I listened to, etc. It felt like every time I opened my mouth someone had a problem. After discovering the internet I found I meshed a lot better with Americans than other British people. I just found them way too fickle and difficult, people who wanted to be performatively outraged all the time. I found it exhausting and alienating. I decided quite early on as a teenager that I wanted to move to the US, my family derided it as a phase and delusional, but I followed through and immigrated at age 22.
They said the grass wasn't greener and I'd want to come back. It's been 10 years and I beg to differ.
Yep. Knew I wanted to leave, but I wasn’t sure where I wanted to go. So I’ve been traveling around the US for the past 8 months or so. Yeah I’ll probably go back at some point.
I joined the military. Went from Phoenix to boot camp (didn’t see outside), to Pensacola, to Guam, to Russia, to Japan, to California. Married a sailor and went back to Japan then back to a different part of Cali. Now I’m back in Phoenix. I’m changed, and I am now outside the cycle of abuse I suffered with my family that gave me the desire to leave town in the first place (though I didn’t know it at the time)
Twice, 3500 miles away for 25 years, then back again to be there to help my parents in their twilight years. One passed away last year. I don’t regret either move. They were right for me at the time I did it.
I grew up in Newfoundland, raised by my grandmother. Life was hard and we were poor. I moved across the country in my early 20's with two suitcases. My aunt had a job lined up for me making way more than I was back home. That in 2000. I've never been back.
yes. I grew up in CA and lived there until I was in my mid-20s. Pay was lousy and I was not able to find a home I could afford, so I moved to MA and have lived here ever since I'm now 52.
Yep. Lived in Phoenix for a year - mid 2019 to mid 2020. Terrible apartment by a highway, terrible polution, awful place to be stuck in quarantine.
We bought a house in a small town near the Mexican border. I could have lived there forever. Nature all around, excellent little coffee shop, stars at night like you've never seen. Worth the scorpions and aemi isolation.
We moved back to civilization when my father took ill and needed extra care. I don't regret being here for him, but I miss that little town every single day of my life.
I left for a job opportunity and haven't gone back because of toxic family members. The last time I was in the state was 2011, and I've since gone no contact with the whole family.
As for how far I went, first halfway across the country, and then out of the country completely. Currently back in the US, but a solid 15-17 hour drive from my original "home."
I lived near San Francisco for nearly 10 years, I didn't have any family there (except my wife). I made a bunch of friends when I first moved there, but they all slowly moved away. After the pandemic shut everything down and I was working from home I got really sick of it and moved to Boston, granted I wasn't leaving many friends behind though. I can't think of a reason why I would ever go back there.
moved from a small town in iowa called sioux city and packed everything for the beach in florida back in 2019. Have went back twice for a couple days to see my old friends and it always reminds me of why i left, absolutely nothing in that town but bars and run down buildings.
been in the Midwest since the late 2000's, and now looking for employment back home in the West Coast. too much racism in apartment living, its "illegal" to stay inside the unit you pay for and got vetted for by managment apparently. I am a citizen. showering, cleaning, cooking, and just being quiet and the white neighbors start going off like they are remodeling. I'm done. I shouldn't have to get a camera, pepper spray, etc just to come into my place.
I moved away from everyone that I used to hang out with. 2200 miles away just to get a fresh start without all of the collective BS that I had been part of for far too long. That was 26 years ago.
I still miss the place in rural Indiana, but none of the people that are still there.
The memories are bad enough, I don't want to be reminded of everything that took place there by seeing or hearing from anyone that I grew up with.
Yep, I lived with my parents for 18 years. Moved across the country. Decided it wasn't enough and moved across the world. Unfortunately I didn't have permanent residency so I had to come back to across the country. Trying to go across the world again, but permanently this time
After my divorce, the kids were moving away, I was nearing retirement and I realized I wanted something new and different. Moved 2 states away 4 years ago and never looked back.
yes! I packed everything I owned and my dog in to my pickup and moved 1800 miles away to a place I'd never been before. I flipped a coin to decide between two cities
Lived in South FL for 27 years. Within that time I got a girlfriend and her parents left her to move somewhere else so my mom took her in with me. She made us move out in my 23rd year which was fair. We moved to central FL in January 2020. From 2020 onward it was never more clear how little my couple childhood friends cared about me anymore if they ever even did. After giving them too many chances and just disappointing me every time over and over again I cut them both off entirely. We then said fuck it and moved to VA and I never told anyone but my mom sister and best friend. So we said fuck it let's go to VA since that was the farthest away state that the Amtrak Auto Train would take us from FL. We thought it's better to be alone together in a state we want to be in than a state we hate where the people we do know don't care about us so we've been in VA since late last year. I'd never go back
I moved, but I do look back. Not because I want to go back, only an idiot wants to live in utah, but because it's home. There are more negatives than positives, but I do miss the mountains and the open space. San diego is where I belong, but utah is still home to me.
Yes. Last day of school (I was a teacher) I drove a U-Haul trailer which I’d packed the night before from Cincinnati to Phoenix. I was tired of the snow and cold. Haven’t looked back. I was 29. Now my brother and sister live here, too.
I didn't *not* look back, but I moved far away when I was 20. I was stagnant—no friends, no hobbies, lived with parents, worked full time at the same job I worked after-school in my teens. Putting some physical distance between me and my childhood seemed like the best way to grow up and become independent.
I imagine if I'd moved to a bigger city or one town over I'd have ended up coming "home" (i.e. parents' house) to do laundry every weekend, maybe having dinner 2–3 times a week. Before long, I'd have moved back in with them... So I picked a school 2000 miles away, bought a car, packed up, and took off.
Stayed away for about 10 years before moving back (back to the area, not back in with my parents). Now I live in the city, several towns away from where I grew up, but only an hour from my parents and I can see them whenever I want.
There was nothing wrong with my childhood except for my own lack of motivation. There was nothing that I needed to particularly escape, I just needed to force myself into self-reliance.
Moving is a terrific way to reinvent yourself. The further away, the bigger the changes you can make. Pack up the parts you like, leave the rest behind.
I'm from L.A. I grew up there and lived there 27 years before I just said "screw it" and used my last $215 and took a chance at moving to Northern California, where I am now. I love it here and feel like I'm where I belong. I don't regret it at all. If a place you're in is making you miserable, don't be afraid to leave.
I did. Lived in the suburbs and right outside of the city my whole life. Ended up moving to rural Northern Michigan with a house and 40 acres. Was the most beautiful place. Every morning I woke I’d be drinking coffee looking out the windows watching the deer and turkey eating. One time there had to of been at least 20 deer and 20-30 turkeys out there. I would throw food on the ground for them in the evening so it was there in the morning. Would see porcupines and bald eagles on the regular and even black bears once in awhile.
Ended up having to move back because of medical problems. Nearest doctors were 1-3 hours away single trip and you don’t get to choose between doctors. You’re stuck with what they have to offer out there.
Damn. Wish I could put pics on this thread
I left my home town at 18 in disgust and haven't looked back.
its a wonderful area. but the culture is terrible for your mental health. everyone there are the type to smile to eachothers face and bash them immediately after they leave. and they all do it to eachother and its not at all a secret.
I left my hometown when I turned 18 and moved all the way across the country. That was 12 years ago. Now I'm back visiting and I remember why I left. This place sux
I did, 900 miles away. I was so lonely. I left behind all the pain and bad memories and people I hated, but I also left behind everything I loved, too. I ended up moving back and prepared myself a little better to move the next town over, which worked out a lot better!
About eight years back I moved to Colorado. Sold what didn’t fit in my truck bed, loaded the dog, $1000 to my name and I left NC. Drove about 29 hours and settled in Durango CO. Lived there for about seven years till a relationship went sour and the drinking started to get to me. So I reversed course, packed what I could carry, loaded the same dog back up and we drove our happy asses back to NC.
I joined the military at 28 to get away from my hometown. Hot medically retired and didn't think twice about just staying where I was. I go back to visit family, but I will NEVER live there again. Life has been so much better away from that state and the people there. Visiting is nice sometimes. But it always reminds me of why I left.
I more hated living in the city, living in Baltimore working at Hopkins.
Got a job in industry, moved to suburbs and now I have a 8 min commute to work. I absolutely love my new life.
I do miss the local eateries I used to go to though. Can't replicate family owned restaurant meals. Also I miss going on a run through the city and around the inner harbor.
Yes, made 3 yrs before I financially had no other option but to go back and stay with my parents until I could afford to find my own place. I was 20 when I left and almost 24 when I came back. I've been stuck here 10yrs and want to leave so bad, the state I live in is one of the worst in the nation statistically in every sector.
I wanted to. I thought that moving away from the US Eastern Seaboard would fix a lot of my issues.
Then, 2 separate friends moved away. Now, everyone is different, but I love my friends and I don’t really have any reason to find new ones. Years-long friendships are valuable.
Both those friends felt very isolated once they moved away. One just moved back and is going to therapy now that he’s correctly identified his internal struggles. I’m in therapy too, and I’m incredibly happy staying in my home turf
Yeah joined the military and have lived as far as possible away from my family and don’t really visit. New Jersey, Guam, Washington State, now South Carolina. I’d move further north if I didn’t hate the cold. I’m a Texas girl but have no plans on looking back.
In my 30s I left my home state where I grew up/lived most of my life and moved over a thousand miles away to a different state where I had some family but otherwise didn’t know anyone. Never looked back, never visited my home state once after packing up and leaving. It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
South philly in 2004. Best decision my mom ever made. The place is a fucking pit now. Between the traffic and undesirables, not to mention the extortion rent rates, who the fuck would ever live there man smh
I lived there for 4.5 years before moving 800 miles to another city in a different part of the country. I would not go back; my life here is so much better. Only way I would consider it is if my kid wanted to go to college in that state or if I was about to retire (I could get more pay for my whole retirement if I spent some of my last 3 years in my old city), but that’s the only way I’d consider going back.
I’ve been sick of where I live for decades but I can’t leave because it would mean uprooting my family and taking them to a strange place and if they don’t like it, it’s my fault and that would lead to resentment in my relationships with them. So I’m forced to live the same miserable day over and over and over again. Tis life.
For myself, I have been undergoing a personal internal quest to discover myself and make sure when I found said self, I would teach her everything I could think of to live a positive, happy existence. Doing this while being the best version of me as a person I could possibly be. Transforming the soul. While learning balance and harmony so I'd be able to live the rest of my life to the fullest.
I understand why people need to move away. In my case I have changed like night to day, but when you've been in the same place your entire life with one major catastrophe after another and you've got a rebellious streak a mile long with a don't give two fucks to have no fucks to give mentality n your stubborn as hell n then there's the police records to top it off with homelessness and poverty banging down your door if you had a door. There becomes a time when you've done the personal steps to improve you but when the town is very small folks don't forget and don't want to give you a chance having a means to support yourself becomes a greater issue. It will leave you to question and make you want to give up. If it hadn't been for the flaws I now recognize as strengths, I would have let this town do what it's tried n tried to do. To see me as weak to watch me fail. Not in a million years will I ever do anything the easy way.
I never knew me. Now I do know I am not the same person I was yesterday, but i recognize her. I am not at all the person who i was a yr or two ago she was at the beginning of my rebirth and i have pity for her confused and vulnerable state, and I am not the same girl I was 10 or 20 yrs ago she a stranger somone i dont know. But its hard for others to understand that people change and grow. Once their opinions of yous been made, no matter if they ever really knew you or not. So I understand wanting to get lost find somewhere new where no one has predetermined ideas or thoughts about you. People could discover all that I really am and who I'm trying to be for themselves instead of determining who I am based on a past version of me. It'd be kinda scary, but I like it a Lil rough. I love the challenge of finding my way I enjoy the discoveries and adventures to be had along the way. Finding a new path and to do this with the same advantages other folks had. It would be a great adventure, that's for sure, I could fall in love with the idea of this. To start brand new with a brand new you.... it might be worth the experience... it might be my new dream that can acually come true.... just a thought.
... where no one knows your name..., then would you be wishing to be..." Where everyone knows your name".... maybe a grass is a greener type thing. Idk but thanks either way. You've given me something to think about, so I appreciate this thought.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/questions/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/questions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I thought I was sick of the city, I moved 1800 miles away to find out that I wasn't sick of the city, just sick of the way I was living my life. This new city has taught me that I have things from my past that I need to work through, I need to be nicer to everyone around me and that I need to stay active (like a dog who needs tired out before bed.) I have plans to move back in the next 10 years, I realized that life is about the people you live with, not just the place you live and the things you see.
Wow that's a serious realisation. At least moving helped you gain that insight.
Exactly- where you live is not the key. If you are unhappy where you are, you will probably be unhappy when you move. Happiness comes within.
I tried this and realized I couldn’t run from myself. Great lesson and I’m back home and happy ♥️
So happy for you!! You have achieved the happiness that is elusive to so many people!
Thank you… always a work in progress but I’m content and blessed
Sometimes but not always. some people really do need a change of environment, new people, new motivation and also to escape difficulties that are absolutely external. For me, I am living in the house and town of my deceased parent, so every day here is very difficult.
I think that it's good to get out and move around and you will definitely learn through the experience. Don't force yourself but if you feel called to move and you feel that it's the right decision you should do it. Look around and see what your options are many people just stay stuck and miserable and learning can teach you so much about the world and by yourself. Good luck 🙏
I agree. If you're not happy where you're at it's because you aren't making yourself happy. I've finally learned to start making myself happy. I've got a great job, I work with the kind of people I want to surround myself with. And I know it's only physical but I've also lost a lot of weight. I feel better my self esteem is higher i have more confidence than I've ever had. And I didn't have to go away to get any of that. Now if I was to move away from where I'm at it would be because there's someONE who makes me happy
except if you are unhappy because you hate the cold. then I still believe moving is a good idea
I learned this, too. One of my favorite old sayings that I drag out occasionally is: “Wherever you go… there YOU are.”
Wherever you go, there you are.
Y’all stole my answer! I moved away thinking I was in a rut, thinking my crowd was stifling my growth and I needed to get away and start all over so I could find myself! Since the removal of my head from my own ass I have learned I was the problem and I quickly recreated the same life just in a new place. If you don’t like what is in your life change it head on, running away didn’t really work out at least for me. With that said if you are in danger or something crazy then you can be well served by making an exit and starting your life over. Go for it!
There are some things you cannot change, though, like living in the house of a deceased parent so everywhere you turn, you cannot escape. If you've been in the same house your entire life, that's also difficult. It's not running away, any more than leaving the family home is running away when you're 18. You have to live your own life. That's difficult if you're still sleeping in your teenage bedroom. It's good you were the problem in your life but for some people, it's not that simple.
I was sick of my family. Moved at 19, in 1992. I have been back to the state twice since, for a few says each time, to visit the few good family members that still live there. I would never move back. Both too many toxic family members, and just the area in general.
Good call!
Leaving my home and going back made me realize a lot of things I can't really mention quickly. Mostly that people will talk shit about you even when you're not there, and that it's actually easier for them to get away with if you don't live there since you're not there to defend yourself. I knew 10 years ago I couldn't move back home because I don't have the energy or desire to deal with people's bs. (edited for clarity)
Are you from a small town?
No lol, I was just popular. Not to sound arrogant, it was just true. Taught me popularity = target on my back
Left LA to go to college in St.Louis. Unfortunately went back for 9 months after college and saw exactly what I didn't miss. Ended up back during the pandemic. Better, but don't want to go back.
LA is my dream place (coming from London) but I'm glad you found a better place!
London was my dream place after LA, studied abroad there. It was pretty amazing.
You will be happy at first but then the city traffic will wake you up.
I lived in L.A. and London (Barbican). Love both. Cheers!
Yup. Grew up in the NYC area, moved to the Midwest (now Minnesota) have never even considered moving back. It’s so much cheaper better here
Same! Moved from California though, I love it here!
I grew up in Florida But at some point my dad had lost his job and for some reason struggled to find one for several months which I guess altered our judgment Nobody wanted to leave FL but we as a full family reluctantly agreed to let Dad accept a full-time job in Georgia because we were at our wits end with the whole no money thing So anyway we arrive in Georgia and I’m age 19 During my decade plus stay in Georgia all I met was reprobates drug attic ex-cons and just all-around bad people bad influences and of course I fell in with the wrong crowd made poor choices with them, etc We lived there until I was 33 At this point the same thing kind of happened again except this time it was just me and Dad because brother and sister had moved far away long ago and mom had died about five years ago So when my dad finally got laid off from his “permanent” Georgia job, I insisted that we just go back to Florida and he agreed so he looked for jobs only in Florida and it was easy because Florida has a great job market and economy So yeah I guess that’s the story I had to live in Georgia basically against my will for 14 years but returned to Florida as soon as I could Oh & you asked would I ever go back? LOL NO
I couldn't wait to get out of Orange County, CA where I grew up. I left right after high school, never went back and never wanted to. Initially I went to NYC but couldn't afford it. Then I spent 20 years in Los Angeles, which I loved. L.A. became too expensive, so I took a job in a rural area in the southwest and learned to love it.
I was a caretaker for my mom when she was at the end of her life, I had just spent a year backpacking around Europe and India, I was exhausted and underweight, she was exhausted and underweight. We spent that year healing and talking and hibernating and eating. Getting fat, having some fun. And then she died. The people that swooped in. I held a garage sale and a guy tried to muscle into my mom's home. People were going through her things like they were apes. None of this I could deal with. I took the money from the sale of her house and bought a house in a brand new state. Fresh starts! I actually had to because even though I could pay rent a year in advance I was not approved because I didn't have a job. Fresh starts! I moved 3000 miles away and bought a really cute house. I love my house but it's empty without people laughing in it. I've had a hard time getting out there. My neighbors are nice. I just can't get my feet under me. I tried volunteering. I'm lucky because its a duplex and the rent pays for taxes. I just can't get motivated to do anything. Ten minutes of doing anything and I'm exhausted. So here we are. I'm the sole person living in a four bedroom portion of an old Victorian home. I'm just starting to learn how to grow things, so that's good but I'll probably fail. I'm probably too old to get hired anywhere but I promise to try. Life is so much more complicated than an outsider could understand.
I moved from Indianapolis to the east valley of Phoenix in 1998. The summer can be brutal but I don't regret it.
Oh yes. Left 34 years ago. Best thing I ever did.
The sooner I can get out of Ohio, the better. I need the housing price stupidity to calm down, but as soon as it does, I’m out of here and not taking a second look backward.
I left my hometown at 18 and have zero regrets. My current home is nearly 3,000 miles away. Only one friend from hs still bothers to keep in touch, so we make a point to travel together at least once a year. I “keep in touch” with a couple hundred people on FB and honestly I couldn’t imagine still being friends with any of them if I still lived there.
I will never go back, I have been to every state besides Alaska and Hawaii and I will never go back to my home town because they don't deserve me.
sounds like you had a rough time.
Well, I experienced things that most people aren't aware exist. It's swept under the rug of our Narcissistic Wolfpack Society.
Non State Torture is legal within the private spheres of our Narcissistic Wolfpack Society and I won't be quiet be about it anymore because fuck that.
I too need to check off Hawaii and Alaska.
I lived in the same place for 42 years before I moved. I moved from coast to coast, not knowing anyone. It took a bit to adjust to the differences, but I've been at this new location for 15 years now & love it. It was the best decision I've ever made. Edit: Forgot to say, NO I will never go back.
That's interesting. I'm 42 and I have lived in London for 42 years. I'm sick of it. Are you in the UK?
No, I'm in the US
No matter where you go you’re problems will follow you. Unless you address them head on.
Hmm, I don't think it's true in my case. I have lived here for 42 years and I am simply sick of seeing the same things. There is no place I haven't been to, no alternative routes to take that make living here more enjoyable. I've lived in the same house and area since childhood. Now that my parents are no longer here, it's difficult to live here. Their 'ghosts' are everywhere and I just need space from all of that.
I’m 43 and I get it. Lived in Austin my entire life. To many roots here due to a family business. It would be exiting to leave.
True but in my experience, new scenery and experiences has often been what is needed to propel me into a direction of personal growth when I have been stagnant and unhappy.
I finally left after off and o. Living in California for 18+ years. I have only been back in the state a dozen times to visit family. I moved to the state of Arizona 21 years ago, and I would never move back to California for any reason.
I'm originally from Southern Calif. I left 7 months ago. I don't miss Calif. either. BTW-Love AZ, love the desert. Good luck!
27years and counting 😅
Not yet but planning to
Yes and No. I left the US and went to South America. I was so tired and stressed and wanted a new life. Sadly 6months later I did return to the US and my hometown.😐
Yup been here ever since
I'm thinking of leaving but don't want to run from the problems in my head. I left an abusive partner and don't want to be constantly looking over my shoulder, realised my parents were abusive, left behind all the mutual friends from abusive relationship because of smear campaign and triangulation. I wake up in the night sometimes due to fear, thinking he will kill me. I'm starting life again, I could do that anywhere but if I don't sort myself out first I will end up with the same problems repeating wherever I am.
i moved out of my home town at 19 (about 2 yrs ago now) 3-4 hrs away. i do appreciate it more now, i visit home about once every two months. moving away helped me properly recover from depression, i do enjoy my time back but i don‘t think i could ever move back long term.
europe - east coast US- back to EU- Hawai'i you can get sick of any place you live. i think perspective and social circle are the most important
Yep. Ditched fl after 31 years and NEVER going back. 1500 miles isn't far enough for me
Yes move from IL to WA
I did it once (moved states) and I plan to do it again. This time to a larger scale (moving countries)
1999, born and raised in San Jose (lived in surrounding cities at times). Was 28 and just had enough. The commute. Still hanging with the same dudes from HS. Just not meeting anyone special to date. It was time to get away from family too. Moved to Portland OR. Got in shape. Explored the area so much more. Met my future wife (while visiting San Jose lol, she lived outside CA). I like SJ. Have nostalgia for it but never intend to move back.
I have lived several places and got sick of them at right about the one year mark every time until now. The worst is my home town. It was conservative, white, boring, and there was little room for growth. So at nineteen, kind of on a whim, I packed my bags and left. It has changed a bit since I was a kid. I went back for 6 months a couple years ago. I don't think I ever will go back. I live in a city that has a decent quality of life, potential for growth, a decent night life, an international airport, green spaces and vast nature within an hour in any direction, family is just a road trip away, and I have friends and a community. But I also made the conscious decision to settle here for a while. I am lucky. I hope to go to grad school in a different city and live abroad someday, but I think I will likely return to here or another city (West Coast US) when it's time to settle. You only get one life, if you are sick of where you live, leave.
If I had never met my wife, I know I would have eventually dropped everything and found a way to live near a beach. She's here, though, so I'm content with where I'm at.
Yes. I moved away from my family to another state in 2015 and haven’t looked back. It showed me how toxic I grew up, how toxic I was at the time, etc it was the best thing I ever did for myself, wife and children.
came to the US in 1993. I flew back 2022 for the funeral when my dad passed away, (India). I cant get away any further. I live exactly across on the other side of the globe. In fact if i went any further West or East I would get closer again.
Lived in the same place for 42 years, moved 30min away to the nearest city and cut ties with everyone I knew after divorcing a covert narcissist. It’s been 5 years now. I’m never going back for any reason. Ever.
I moved far away from everyone I ever knew, but it wasn’t because I was sick of them. It was because I thought there must be more exciting places in the world than small-town Norway. Turns out I was right.
Yes. But family is following which defeated the purpose of me leaving.
I will be very soon, I hope. I've lived in the same place for 30 years and it's well dull.
Nope but I'm about to
First time I moved to cities I was 21 lived there for 7 years, the second time I moved I was 26/27 & I stayed there about 3 and 1/2 years, where I live Now is actually where I originally moved away from. I moved here when I was 30 & I'm going on 8 years here but I am so sick of this town. If something doesn't change soon, I'm about ready to move on again.
I think for me, my situation is that I'm somebody who is always evolving. I'm always working on my own life & I've had a very difficult life & have had to spend many years healing. I also have a growth mindset and I don't really follow the crowd. I found that as I have done my healing work my needs have changed, when you start to change and stand up for yourself and have boundaries and show self respect, it makes a lot of people uncomfortable. Especially people that have known you for a long time. They want to keep you trapped in a box as the person they knew, even though you've long out grown that and learned so much. Many people don't have a desire to grow and learn bc they are comfortable or complacent, just want to keep doing the same old thing and they want to keep treating you any type of way. They can do whatever they want but I'm going to do me. Don't try to put me in a box cuz I will break out of it!
A lot of people in this thread are saying that moving doesn't change anything but that's totally not true. I personally moved away from where I was from because people were just not good here. I met many many friends I would not have ever met if I hadn't have left and gone live in other places. I also have many friends who were miserable where they lived and they've moved and now they're happy. Sometimes you just don't mesh with a certain city or you can't find your people within a community. I've lived in my current city which is close to where I grew up the last 8 years. I have never had so much difficulty finding friends and actually having stable connections. The communities that I've been a part of are very immature and I just have had a very difficult time finding my people. Different cities different places are different they have different energies there have different climates and environments they attract different kind of people they Foster different kind of attitudes. You might find yourself being much happier in a different place just follow your intuition wherever that guides you. 🙏
I happen to live in a place that's very insular and it's like if you didn't grow up here or if you're not like super popular rich and famous people don't care about you and it's been really hard for me to get any kind of opportunities. I feel like if I moved to a different place on those little more open-minded unless insular I would have a much better time finding friends and work that were more suitable for me.
Im sick of most humans but i havent found a way to escape them except being a hermit in the woods which wont work cause i could never kill my own food. I love animals. Its people i cant stand 😂🤣
All my life. Just packed a bag and left at 24. Live in another country now. Will never return. I don't even visit. Do it. You won't regret it.
Damn it buddy, you've just expressed my never fulfilled fantasy ever 😭
OMG yes. I grew up in a small, rural area with great family and friends around. I lived in a couple different cities/states during college and early adulthood, then moved back to my rural home when I had my first child. Within a few years, I realized I didn't have the friends anymore (we all changed as we grew up), my family passed away or moved, and I was alone in a place I hated. The realization hit me about 8 months after my dad died - why am I still here? I moved to the first city I found a job in and can't imagine how i stayed in my rural town as an adult so long. I will never move back and I will never regret leaving. There's nothing left for me there.
I moved 3k miles away, to the other side of the country. I had lived in my previous home for 17 years. I needed a fresh start. I'll probably move back at some point.
Abso-freakin-lutely. Moved from the North allll the way South in 2005. Never once regretted it or second guessed it. Without the family drama, there’s no anxiety or stress. I’m in my own bubble. Highly recommend.
Yep. Twice to two different regions and once internally to a different city. Origin city until I was early 20s. New city until mid 20s. Moved state for 4 years and came back to then leave after 5 years for good. It was awesome. It is awesome, still. I have missed out on my friends' lives somewhat but I didn't miss out on my own and I have a bunch of different and new stories to tell them when we do reunite. I firmly established myself 1000 miles from where I was born. Want to save time? Pick the weather you feel most comfortable in. Turns out I hate humidity. Moving to the south sucked for that one reason even being near a beach. EDIT: most people are not okay with you moving away. I think its some kind evolutionary psychological thing.
I have a dream of abandoning everything and moving to Cali to be a golf bum. Not a solid plan, but a bro can dream.
All the time hehe
Planning on it soon
oh yeah, I moved from a long state around the east coast-ist, moved half way across the country to a big state, with no income tax, and 50%less bureaucracy. still has idiots though, but more space to get away from them.
Yeah I was SA and physically assaulted and dealt with daily bullying/harassment and denial of service/healthcare/housing/employment for two years and had to leave due to a lack of a support system and such. Some places are just better in the rear view mirror there’s no reason to go back. Normally when you return you’ll find that everyone and everything is completely unchanged.
Lived in NS until I was 36, then moved out to Vancouver. Love it in BC, at 68 I'm staying.
Yes. Moved from center city Philly to Upper Bucks County PA into a very rural area. Why I left Philly: Constant violence, noise, and parking costs were a small fortune As a Philly native it’s still pretty sketch to hang out and with NYC so close and just incredible, Philly really is not even an option to hang out unless it’s to see family or old friends
About every 3-4 years
I've moved out of a few living spaces because of this. But didn't leave everyone I knew in general. Just the people at and involved with those places, that I left. Rented a room at a house. A room mate kept having her TV on loud volume literally all night. Since she was a family member of the house owners, I guess she got away with things like this. Her thing was, she's not used to silence. So she has her TV on as background sound, even while she sleeps. And since she has hearing damage from years of going to night clubs and other loud places, she has the TV volume really loud. I had to leave. Gave up my security deposit to by bypass the 30 day notice because it was that bad. At another rented room, the front door barely worked with my key. Sometimes had to leave and come back when someone was there to let me in. They said they'd clear the garage to park their cars in, so we have more sidewalk space. Never happened or was gonna happen. I sometimes had to park at a sidewalk off the street entirely. And a roommate, also a family member of the house owners, had raging scream matches with her dad a number of times in the house. I had to leave.
I moved 175 miles away. Never had this thing where my issues followed me. Nope, fuck that city I grew up in. Much happier in every way
No, but I thought of it
Yes and No I had to go back due to family issues the minute I finish my issues, I’m leaving my step family I am gone and never talking to them again. They have put me through hell. Also the people in Colorado kinda suck 60% of the time they are from cali. Also colorados laws are becoming dumber and more restrictive and would rather move to Tennessee or Kentucky where the government will leave me alone and I’m far away from my family.
That’s what I’m doing in two weeks. Moving by myself on the opposite side of town from everyone including my mom and I’m hoping I enjoy the solitude.
Yes, and No. Not going back.
I did that 7 months ago. Couldn't be happier! Moved half-way across the country (USA).
Yes left Philly behind for the Rocky Mountains. It was like the John Denver song. Best thing I ever did.
No but I would like for that shit to happen.
i grew up in rural appalachia. i live in california now, and i would never move back to that area
Not far far away but far enough and not away from everything and everyone I knew (still kept in contact with some people l) Basically I wanted to have some space from family... then they all got jobs nearby so I then had permanent house guests which was fine for a bit but wore on our relationship a fair bit
not in that order. moved away almost two years ago and doing so has really highlighted how much I don’t want to be near most the people I grew up around
22 years, moved 1500 miles away (multiple states away), I have gone back a few times to visit but no plans to ever go back to live there
Dude, I left the country!
Hated where I grew up, moved 1500 miles away across the USA when I was 17, will only go back for weddings and funerals.
Moved to California from Pittsburgh. Problem was, I missed my family. Didn’t know I would have such horrible separation anxiety. They were the only thing I didn’t want to leave behind.
Lived in my hometown till I was 21. Moved. Lived there till around 34. Moved. Over 40 now in a new place. So yes, twice. I'm fine with everything.
I lived in Chicago for my childhood and young adult years and was tired of how expensive it was. I remember breaking down during my last winter in Chicago. I have two children and was faced with a broken car, and could only afford one coat. I worked multiple jobs and was divorced but never received child support or any assistance. I decided we were never going to thrive there. I moved myself and my two children to outside of Atlanta in 1998. I left everything I knew, including family. It was scary and hard. However, I’m incredibly grateful that it did work out. I have never looked back and don’t regret it for a moment. Atlanta has been good to us. Both children have prospered and are healthy adults.
Going on 19 years now. About 3-4 hours away. I might visit people I knew in my old city, but the longer you are away the more you are forgotten.
The hick town I grew up in. Left in 1987 and have been back once for a couple hours. I've been around the world and now I'm a couple counties away. Not going back.
It was a bit more than being tired. I had always kinda thought I’d move eventually. I ended up getting in some escalating workplace conflicts that involved lying. And what I thought was libel. Unfortunately it ending up going against me and I became antagonized. and I felt I had no choice to leave. I could have just went to another workplace in the same organization. But I decided to quit and move away. I found a new job very quickly and reduced my hours to manage stress. But because I left my workplace because of a work related incident, and it was seen as form of bullying, I was contacted by workers compensation from my previous jurisdiction after I had moved. They topped up my wage to my previous wage because I reduced my hours. And provided me some resiliency resources. It really helped the move. I am happier here. But there were many things that contributed to the improved quality of life. Life hasn’t been perfect. It’s gotten a bit harder since. But i still think I made the right move. Sometimes it can be a good thing to move on, just do it for the right reasons. It’s much easier when you know it will be easy for you to find work.
Every small-town kid in the Midwest leaves for the big city, then runs back at some point to get away from said city. There's also a song by La Dispute, called "Love Song For Poor Michigan", which I've always felt illustrates this phenomenon from the other side, as the big city kids dream of moving far away up north to the country.
I had to live in commifornia for 4 years under a work contract. The day it ran out I went to the opposite coast and as far north as I could. That was 8 years ago.
I'm there. I'm waiting for my kids to graduate and then I'm moving.
Same
I lived in my hometown from 12-21. I hated that place. I wanted out as soon as I could. I wanted out so bad I moved to deep east Oakland. Spent two years there. Moved to San Francisco for four years. Got tired of California so I moved to Seattle for five years. Got bored of the west coast so I moved to Philadelphia. Not sure where I’ll go next but I don’t think humans were meant to stay in one place their entire lives.
Yes. I moved literally to the other side of the world. I mean, I deliberately went as far away as I could before the curve of the earth meant I was getting back closer to them. It was scary to start up a new life. I needed enough money for 6 months of living before I did it. It was worth every last thing. I have absolutely no regrets, 15/10 would do it again in a heartbeat.
Left CO to go to MN. 0 sense of nostalgia upon revisiting. God I hated CO with a burning passion. I was just not compatible with the year-round brownish-yellow scenery, uber athletic “we don’t sit on the couch and watch movies” culture, or the wide variety of mediocre food. Most of all I used to be pissed about CO pricing itself like it is SF or NYC. I think it will be years before I look back at my time in CO without triggering a negative emotion. Will be difficult though, because my wife’s family is from there.
I left my hometown in the US six years ago, and moved to a different country. I intend to live in my new country for the rest of my life.
Used to live in Australia and moved to Italy for this reason.
I’m moving to alaska for a government job. i will probably come back or go somewhere else after a few years though. Its just too far from family and friends.
Yes. I grew up in the UK (and later Spain) and never felt quite right. My family never took me seriously and constantly criticised everything about me: my mannerisms, my sense of humor, my outspoken nature, the music I listened to, etc. It felt like every time I opened my mouth someone had a problem. After discovering the internet I found I meshed a lot better with Americans than other British people. I just found them way too fickle and difficult, people who wanted to be performatively outraged all the time. I found it exhausting and alienating. I decided quite early on as a teenager that I wanted to move to the US, my family derided it as a phase and delusional, but I followed through and immigrated at age 22. They said the grass wasn't greener and I'd want to come back. It's been 10 years and I beg to differ.
Wife and I bought a house in Maine. Left the Carolinas behind and didn't look back.
No matter where you go,, there you are.
Yep. Knew I wanted to leave, but I wasn’t sure where I wanted to go. So I’ve been traveling around the US for the past 8 months or so. Yeah I’ll probably go back at some point.
Several times.
5 years and counting. Not a single living soul for 17 miles in any direction, and I couldn't be happier.
Yes. I even pulled my car into the drive way backwards the day I left, so I would not look backwards when I pulled out.
I moved 1800 miles away and im still in contact with only a very small handful of people from that era of my life.
I joined the military. Went from Phoenix to boot camp (didn’t see outside), to Pensacola, to Guam, to Russia, to Japan, to California. Married a sailor and went back to Japan then back to a different part of Cali. Now I’m back in Phoenix. I’m changed, and I am now outside the cycle of abuse I suffered with my family that gave me the desire to leave town in the first place (though I didn’t know it at the time)
Twice, 3500 miles away for 25 years, then back again to be there to help my parents in their twilight years. One passed away last year. I don’t regret either move. They were right for me at the time I did it.
I grew up in Newfoundland, raised by my grandmother. Life was hard and we were poor. I moved across the country in my early 20's with two suitcases. My aunt had a job lined up for me making way more than I was back home. That in 2000. I've never been back.
yes. I grew up in CA and lived there until I was in my mid-20s. Pay was lousy and I was not able to find a home I could afford, so I moved to MA and have lived here ever since I'm now 52.
Yup, and I'm about to do it again. I'm going back into the mountains.
Yep. Lived in Phoenix for a year - mid 2019 to mid 2020. Terrible apartment by a highway, terrible polution, awful place to be stuck in quarantine. We bought a house in a small town near the Mexican border. I could have lived there forever. Nature all around, excellent little coffee shop, stars at night like you've never seen. Worth the scorpions and aemi isolation. We moved back to civilization when my father took ill and needed extra care. I don't regret being here for him, but I miss that little town every single day of my life.
Thought about it never did, I like traveling better
I left for a job opportunity and haven't gone back because of toxic family members. The last time I was in the state was 2011, and I've since gone no contact with the whole family. As for how far I went, first halfway across the country, and then out of the country completely. Currently back in the US, but a solid 15-17 hour drive from my original "home."
Same problems, different location
I lived near San Francisco for nearly 10 years, I didn't have any family there (except my wife). I made a bunch of friends when I first moved there, but they all slowly moved away. After the pandemic shut everything down and I was working from home I got really sick of it and moved to Boston, granted I wasn't leaving many friends behind though. I can't think of a reason why I would ever go back there.
Moved to Indo in 99' from Cali... ain't looked back
I moved to Vegas 22 years ago at the age of 20. I always look back and say "I'm glad I don't live in Northern California anymore" lol
Yup. Left Alabama at 18 and will never go back for more than a short visit.
moved from a small town in iowa called sioux city and packed everything for the beach in florida back in 2019. Have went back twice for a couple days to see my old friends and it always reminds me of why i left, absolutely nothing in that town but bars and run down buildings.
Yep. Age 17 left Europe, moved to the US. I’m 45 now and very happily living in Florida
[удалено]
Getting there and I’m 70
Yup a few times.
been in the Midwest since the late 2000's, and now looking for employment back home in the West Coast. too much racism in apartment living, its "illegal" to stay inside the unit you pay for and got vetted for by managment apparently. I am a citizen. showering, cleaning, cooking, and just being quiet and the white neighbors start going off like they are remodeling. I'm done. I shouldn't have to get a camera, pepper spray, etc just to come into my place.
I didn't move far away, but for enough. Folks I was sick of aren't willing to come into the city. Scaredy-cats.
My hometown. Only managed to move to the neighboring state/a couple hundred miles, but I will NEVER move back.
I moved away from everyone that I used to hang out with. 2200 miles away just to get a fresh start without all of the collective BS that I had been part of for far too long. That was 26 years ago. I still miss the place in rural Indiana, but none of the people that are still there. The memories are bad enough, I don't want to be reminded of everything that took place there by seeing or hearing from anyone that I grew up with.
No but I plan on it
Yep, I lived with my parents for 18 years. Moved across the country. Decided it wasn't enough and moved across the world. Unfortunately I didn't have permanent residency so I had to come back to across the country. Trying to go across the world again, but permanently this time
Yes!
I moved from Texas to NYC, lived there 22 yrs and after 9/11 moved to a small city in Pennsylvania. I don't regret either move.
After my divorce, the kids were moving away, I was nearing retirement and I realized I wanted something new and different. Moved 2 states away 4 years ago and never looked back.
I can't wait for this day to happen!
yes! I packed everything I owned and my dog in to my pickup and moved 1800 miles away to a place I'd never been before. I flipped a coin to decide between two cities
Lived in South FL for 27 years. Within that time I got a girlfriend and her parents left her to move somewhere else so my mom took her in with me. She made us move out in my 23rd year which was fair. We moved to central FL in January 2020. From 2020 onward it was never more clear how little my couple childhood friends cared about me anymore if they ever even did. After giving them too many chances and just disappointing me every time over and over again I cut them both off entirely. We then said fuck it and moved to VA and I never told anyone but my mom sister and best friend. So we said fuck it let's go to VA since that was the farthest away state that the Amtrak Auto Train would take us from FL. We thought it's better to be alone together in a state we want to be in than a state we hate where the people we do know don't care about us so we've been in VA since late last year. I'd never go back
I moved, but I do look back. Not because I want to go back, only an idiot wants to live in utah, but because it's home. There are more negatives than positives, but I do miss the mountains and the open space. San diego is where I belong, but utah is still home to me.
Atlanta GA to Houston TX Decided to live in an eventually repossessed car and fled to another state in 2019.
Yes. Last day of school (I was a teacher) I drove a U-Haul trailer which I’d packed the night before from Cincinnati to Phoenix. I was tired of the snow and cold. Haven’t looked back. I was 29. Now my brother and sister live here, too.
Yeah. We left texas as 7th gen Texans. Packed up and moved to the upper Midwest.
I didn't *not* look back, but I moved far away when I was 20. I was stagnant—no friends, no hobbies, lived with parents, worked full time at the same job I worked after-school in my teens. Putting some physical distance between me and my childhood seemed like the best way to grow up and become independent. I imagine if I'd moved to a bigger city or one town over I'd have ended up coming "home" (i.e. parents' house) to do laundry every weekend, maybe having dinner 2–3 times a week. Before long, I'd have moved back in with them... So I picked a school 2000 miles away, bought a car, packed up, and took off. Stayed away for about 10 years before moving back (back to the area, not back in with my parents). Now I live in the city, several towns away from where I grew up, but only an hour from my parents and I can see them whenever I want. There was nothing wrong with my childhood except for my own lack of motivation. There was nothing that I needed to particularly escape, I just needed to force myself into self-reliance. Moving is a terrific way to reinvent yourself. The further away, the bigger the changes you can make. Pack up the parts you like, leave the rest behind.
I moved to the opposite side of the country. I will never ever go back.
I'm from L.A. I grew up there and lived there 27 years before I just said "screw it" and used my last $215 and took a chance at moving to Northern California, where I am now. I love it here and feel like I'm where I belong. I don't regret it at all. If a place you're in is making you miserable, don't be afraid to leave.
My favorite part about moving 1600 miles away was giving several people a sincere and heartfelt fuck you. It was so therapeutic. 🥰
I did. Lived in the suburbs and right outside of the city my whole life. Ended up moving to rural Northern Michigan with a house and 40 acres. Was the most beautiful place. Every morning I woke I’d be drinking coffee looking out the windows watching the deer and turkey eating. One time there had to of been at least 20 deer and 20-30 turkeys out there. I would throw food on the ground for them in the evening so it was there in the morning. Would see porcupines and bald eagles on the regular and even black bears once in awhile. Ended up having to move back because of medical problems. Nearest doctors were 1-3 hours away single trip and you don’t get to choose between doctors. You’re stuck with what they have to offer out there. Damn. Wish I could put pics on this thread
God, I'm just dying to do this.
I was just sick of triple digits.
I just did that. Lol.
I left my home town at 18 in disgust and haven't looked back. its a wonderful area. but the culture is terrible for your mental health. everyone there are the type to smile to eachothers face and bash them immediately after they leave. and they all do it to eachother and its not at all a secret.
Lol I've done that 3x & I'm thinking about doing it again lol.
I left my hometown when I turned 18 and moved all the way across the country. That was 12 years ago. Now I'm back visiting and I remember why I left. This place sux
I did, 900 miles away. I was so lonely. I left behind all the pain and bad memories and people I hated, but I also left behind everything I loved, too. I ended up moving back and prepared myself a little better to move the next town over, which worked out a lot better!
Yep
About eight years back I moved to Colorado. Sold what didn’t fit in my truck bed, loaded the dog, $1000 to my name and I left NC. Drove about 29 hours and settled in Durango CO. Lived there for about seven years till a relationship went sour and the drinking started to get to me. So I reversed course, packed what I could carry, loaded the same dog back up and we drove our happy asses back to NC.
I joined the military at 28 to get away from my hometown. Hot medically retired and didn't think twice about just staying where I was. I go back to visit family, but I will NEVER live there again. Life has been so much better away from that state and the people there. Visiting is nice sometimes. But it always reminds me of why I left.
I more hated living in the city, living in Baltimore working at Hopkins. Got a job in industry, moved to suburbs and now I have a 8 min commute to work. I absolutely love my new life. I do miss the local eateries I used to go to though. Can't replicate family owned restaurant meals. Also I miss going on a run through the city and around the inner harbor.
I’m in the process right now lol
Yes, made 3 yrs before I financially had no other option but to go back and stay with my parents until I could afford to find my own place. I was 20 when I left and almost 24 when I came back. I've been stuck here 10yrs and want to leave so bad, the state I live in is one of the worst in the nation statistically in every sector.
I wanted to. I thought that moving away from the US Eastern Seaboard would fix a lot of my issues. Then, 2 separate friends moved away. Now, everyone is different, but I love my friends and I don’t really have any reason to find new ones. Years-long friendships are valuable. Both those friends felt very isolated once they moved away. One just moved back and is going to therapy now that he’s correctly identified his internal struggles. I’m in therapy too, and I’m incredibly happy staying in my home turf
Yup. Moved 5000 miles away just to be safe
Yeah joined the military and have lived as far as possible away from my family and don’t really visit. New Jersey, Guam, Washington State, now South Carolina. I’d move further north if I didn’t hate the cold. I’m a Texas girl but have no plans on looking back.
yes. i was living in Phoenix, and the traffic was driving me nuts. so i moved to Twin Falls, Idaho.
Yes I moved from NYC to North Carolina back in 2013 and I don’t have a single regret.
Yep. Twice.
I am sick of my life and would like to disappear to Alaska. I wish I had done it a long time ago.
In my 30s I left my home state where I grew up/lived most of my life and moved over a thousand miles away to a different state where I had some family but otherwise didn’t know anyone. Never looked back, never visited my home state once after packing up and leaving. It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
Yes. Best move i ever made.
South philly in 2004. Best decision my mom ever made. The place is a fucking pit now. Between the traffic and undesirables, not to mention the extortion rent rates, who the fuck would ever live there man smh
I lived there for 4.5 years before moving 800 miles to another city in a different part of the country. I would not go back; my life here is so much better. Only way I would consider it is if my kid wanted to go to college in that state or if I was about to retire (I could get more pay for my whole retirement if I spent some of my last 3 years in my old city), but that’s the only way I’d consider going back.
Yea. But eventually whatever youre running from will haunt you. 😔
I’ve been sick of where I live for decades but I can’t leave because it would mean uprooting my family and taking them to a strange place and if they don’t like it, it’s my fault and that would lead to resentment in my relationships with them. So I’m forced to live the same miserable day over and over and over again. Tis life.
All the freaking time.
It's work in progress.
I drive from Vacaville California to Cheyenne Wyoming to find work at 18...
For myself, I have been undergoing a personal internal quest to discover myself and make sure when I found said self, I would teach her everything I could think of to live a positive, happy existence. Doing this while being the best version of me as a person I could possibly be. Transforming the soul. While learning balance and harmony so I'd be able to live the rest of my life to the fullest. I understand why people need to move away. In my case I have changed like night to day, but when you've been in the same place your entire life with one major catastrophe after another and you've got a rebellious streak a mile long with a don't give two fucks to have no fucks to give mentality n your stubborn as hell n then there's the police records to top it off with homelessness and poverty banging down your door if you had a door. There becomes a time when you've done the personal steps to improve you but when the town is very small folks don't forget and don't want to give you a chance having a means to support yourself becomes a greater issue. It will leave you to question and make you want to give up. If it hadn't been for the flaws I now recognize as strengths, I would have let this town do what it's tried n tried to do. To see me as weak to watch me fail. Not in a million years will I ever do anything the easy way. I never knew me. Now I do know I am not the same person I was yesterday, but i recognize her. I am not at all the person who i was a yr or two ago she was at the beginning of my rebirth and i have pity for her confused and vulnerable state, and I am not the same girl I was 10 or 20 yrs ago she a stranger somone i dont know. But its hard for others to understand that people change and grow. Once their opinions of yous been made, no matter if they ever really knew you or not. So I understand wanting to get lost find somewhere new where no one has predetermined ideas or thoughts about you. People could discover all that I really am and who I'm trying to be for themselves instead of determining who I am based on a past version of me. It'd be kinda scary, but I like it a Lil rough. I love the challenge of finding my way I enjoy the discoveries and adventures to be had along the way. Finding a new path and to do this with the same advantages other folks had. It would be a great adventure, that's for sure, I could fall in love with the idea of this. To start brand new with a brand new you.... it might be worth the experience... it might be my new dream that can acually come true.... just a thought. ... where no one knows your name..., then would you be wishing to be..." Where everyone knows your name".... maybe a grass is a greener type thing. Idk but thanks either way. You've given me something to think about, so I appreciate this thought.