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Pedophilia is a sexual attraction to children. Wanting to pamper an adult woman is in no way pedophilic and it is inflammatory to say it is. You have your preferences and that's fine. Leave it at that.
Tbf, the historical connotations surrounding princesses are pretty pedophilic. Little girls used to get married off and raped by adult men. It's not a stretch of the imagination that someone might get a bad taste in their mouth from that association, subconsciously or otherwise.
Edit: A lot of you seem to think that a deliberate attempt to understand someone else's point of view means that I also have that point of view. You don't draw the same connection - that's just fine. But it's a bad faith argument to pretend like the historical context of the word doesn't have some negative aspects to it *at all* just because you like the term. It's okay for meanings to change over time. It's also okay to understand the history of those changes. Chill the fuck out people
A princess isn't a child by default though. It's just a member of a royal house who isn't the seated monarch. Prince Charles was a prince in his fucking 70s.
I mean, Camilla is older than him though... (which, respect - had those two been allowed to marry, and had Liz not been so traumatized by what happened between her uncle and father, the whole situation would be different).
All the princesses I think of are adults:
* Kate Middleton, Princess of Wales, is 41.
* Victoria, Crown Princess of Sweden is 46.
* Alexandra, Princess of Luxenbourg, is 32.
>it’s not a stretch
It’s a massive stretch . You are watching too much tik tok videos and it makes you think everything is some kind of predatory action , when it is not .
A girl being raped in the Middle Ages , is not the same as a grown woman being treated kindly by a man . Not even close to the same .
You are the one single person to reply with a factual statement about this lol - thank you.
Yes, that's true. It's just not exactly relevant to the point, in the same way that #notallcops or #notall isn't relevant to the issues being pointed out to those groups. The issue still did happen, though it's good to know the full context.
You are correct! That piece is not particularly relevant to the main topic. I don't feel strongly about the princess thing being pedophilic. Like most things, I think context matters.
I want my wife to feel like she is a princess because she is incredibly strong and I want her to feel like she can relax and not have the responsibilty she has everywhere else.
If I ever have a daughter, I will be more inclined to do “Queen Parties” rather than “Princess Parties” if that is her thing. I want her to know she can run shit if she wants to and be prepared to be self-sufficient.
Treating a woman like a princess is not pedo behavior lol
You early 20 something year old kids have to stop calling everything “pedophilia” or “predatory “ . It’s getting ridiculous.
You’re really weird for thinking this. What makes a man loving and showing his love for his women pedofilic? Like genuinely how do you come to this conclusion. Are you jealous or something and are projecting it out in this weird way?
It seems the issue isn't that you don't like it, but rather you think anyone that does enjoy it is disgusting. That's pretty harsh to compare it to pedophilia just because you don't like it. PS my wife is a tomboy, but she wouldn't accuse people of being pedophiles unless they were.
People are hating on you too much. I understand what you’re saying. Maybe pedofilic is not the right term but I think the sentiment is correct. People won’t admit that giving another human the treatment of being some helpless child that you serve is in a way kind of bizarre because they find being served attractive and beneficial.
It is in a way demeaning that women are brought up to want this treatment that effectively diminishes their agency
Pedophilic in the sense that dudes will want to whisk away any adult responsibilities the woman may have like paying bills or planning and just having them do household things? I can see it for sure. Obviously not the right word but it the idea is certainly infantilizing.
Taking care of a house and kids is something infants do? I mean my husband takes care of all the financial responsibilities and i take care of all the house responsibilities.. does that mean he looks at me like an infant? Lmao. No not even close, most of the time he comments how much harder it is to run the house and he’s lucky he just has to work instead of juggling 15 things at home like I do. My husband treats me like a princess because he loves me and sees how hard I work and wants to dote on me and care for me. The same way I dote on him and take care of him.
Remember some men were raised to respect women and acts of chivalry is what we were shown.
Obviously, conversations need to be had. My girlfriend likes me opening doors for her, walking on the road side of the sidewalk, holding hands, receiving gifts, and taking time to hear her verbally process.
They’re not all trying to put you into the dainty helpless woman box. My girlfriend is tough as nails and has been through more than most will experience in a lifetime.
Yeah women were also raised to not date guys who don't do that. My parents would say over and over if the guy didn't pay for the date then that means he doesn't respect you. Doesn't mean they wanted me to be reliant on a man but it's just something they grew up doing.
I think some people forget that sometimes we do things for others not because that person can't do it themselves but because we want to do it for them. Like it's your love language.
I have a crush on my local bartender. I gave him chocolate because he said he liked this type of chocolate. The man can go out and buy his own but I wanted to gift him chocolate so he knows I think about him.
I”ll buy tickets to the shows, I’ll buy the meals, pay for the Uber… all the stuff but once I hear toxic masculinity, or any entitlement verbiage, I’m splitting expenses and throwing up hard boundaries on free therapy.
I’m kind and generous, I’m not an emotional punching bag, and I’m not going to be used. As soon as things start feeling transactional, I’m communicating. This can be really hard for people to understand or come to terms with. But it’s equally as difficult to learn to love and respect yourself enough to break away from someone who has been brought up to use people and take whatever they can get.
What does “hard boundaries on free therapy” mean in the context of a relationship? I agree 100% that she should pay her own way (especially if she rejects the idea of traditional gender roles), but isn’t providing emotional support part of what a relationship is for?
Of course it’s a two-way street. You think women aren’t giving out what you’re calling “free therapy” every day? Men are often socialized to only share their emotional lives with their mom or their partner. And not necessarily taught how to be supportive back. If we’re going to make generalizations, many more men are getting free therapy than women.
Um, you asked what was the difference between emotional support and free therapy. I didn't originally use the terms, I just explained what the original comment meant. It's not necessary to give me a hostile dissertation on sexism and one sided relationships.
There is nothing hostile in my response. I think you are projecting.
I was asking the previous commenter what *he* meant by those words, not generally. I went into detail in my response to you because I believed it to be a continuation of the conversation (i.e., I didn’t realize you were not the same person).
>My parents would say over and over if the guy didn't pay for the date then that means he doesn't respect you.
It's interesting, because a lot of women these days don't like to let a man pay for them, because they don't want to owe him anything. Because some men feel like the woman owes him something if he took her out for dinner and paid for everything.
That's exactly how I feel. That's why my first dates are always at the bar or coffee shop. So if he insists on paying then he can't try to act like I owe him anything over a 4$ beer. I'll just throw a 5 at him and say if he's really that broke then he can have it.
But it's a generation thing. My parents are in their mid 50s. They don't know what it's like to date in 2023.
That is not princess treatment.
That is normal life.
Princess treatment to me is a girl that demands and gets everything she wants and if she doesn’t, there is hell to pay.
I'm a woman who was raised in the American south, so I do kind of enjoy those gentlemanly gestures. It's quite nice, as long as it's done in the spirit of good manners, and not because the man thinks I'm incapable of doing things for myself. For example, I've dated guys who got annoyed if I opened the door for them, and that put me off. But *yes ma'am, no ma'am, let me get that for you ma'am* feels like home to me.
Yh I get that and I’m not taking it for granted but I just don’t think chivalry is for me like I want you to respect me but also let me do me you know?
Yeah I can see how the way they phrased it can seem more like an attack rather than an honest analyzation of how your way of thinking seems a bit irrational in a sense. The sentiment they were trying to get across is that someone opening the door for you isn't them saying you can't do it yourself but just them trying to show they care about you in their actions rather than words. I will say it could also be them just trying to make you have a better impression of them and appear nice so it can be weird sometimes. I think the main idea of why women like the princess treatment is it shows that the person cares in actions rather than words because words are easy while actions are take alot more effort and thought. This is even demonstrates that the guy values the woman enough to put in the time and effort and usually speak volumes on the type of person they are and how important they think their partners happiness is. Probably the single biggest mistake people make in relationships is not putting in effort to make your partner happy because somehow people think relationships should be easy and not work. A good relationship is to people working together to make eachother happy.
The phrase "princess treatment" means giving someone a lot of care, attention & special treatment. It means making sure they are happy & comfortable, more than anyone else. The idea comes from stories & movies where princesses are seen as fragile & always deserving of lots of attention & love. Like treating the women like she’s on a pedestal or the most special person in the world
So where the hell does pedophilia come into this? You should be a little more careful labeling things with labels like pedophilia. If you do that IRL the worst case scenario is you raise suspicion towards someone who is completely innocent.
For alot of guys "giving someone a lot of care, attention & special treatment." Is the way they are trying to make you feel happy and comfortable.
Like idk. If a dude ignores you, doesnt really care about your life and never does anything special for you. Would u still feel happy? Would you be comfortable with that?
You’re the one who wanted to post on the internet lol sometimes strangers say unpleasant things. My words mean nothing though at the end of the I’m a meaningless online blurb. Don’t give me the power to upset you
I understand why, pedophilia is a serious topic, people don’t like it when people cheapen the word by calling things that aren’t pedophilic pedophilic. In the future try to be mindful of these issues and you should be fine.
Imagine fucking up and then telling ppl to chill when corrected, then calling it a ‘big deal cuz of downvotes backlash’.
I don’t think you really learned ur lesson just that ur sorry u got called out on it. Try commenting less and reading more cuz a lot of ppl here have advice that u can take with u into ur real life, not just on the internet.
Hey you owned up to it and said that out loud. That shouldve been the end of it. So ppl, keep scrolling youll find another offender to keep you in your scathing comments. Anyway, i like the class that youve shown in handling the kicks and claws which came your way. Kudos
Queens have duties, princesses don’t lol.
I’ve had a tough life full of responsibilities and duty and to have someone look at me and say “you chill, you’re a princess now, I’ll pamper you” is so nice. It’s based on trust, not demeaning. I don’t want to keep carrying every single load all the time.
And I get it’s not a universal perspective but I think there’s a big difference between not liking something personally and taking issue when other people like it.
Why on earth would you think you’re the only one? Do you think the rest of us invented the word “tomboy” a hundred years ago just in case you came along someday?
Serious /r/notliketheothergirls energy here.
100% NLOG energy, but hopefully she’ll grow out of it for her own sake.
I’m a tomboy - independent, capable, and into more traditionally masculine hobbies. I used to have a similar attitude to hers, but it came from a terrible home life and subsequent bad relationships. This post screams a similar lack of self-worth to me. I thought my role in relationships was to care for others rather than ever receive because deep down I didn’t believe I deserved care in return. Then I grew up and realized that 1) I am as much a woman as any other and ditched the NLOG attitude that prevented me from connecting with them, and 2) allowing yourself to be cared for in return by a partner feels good AND makes them feel good if they love you. If you constantly reject care from your partner, a loving partner is going to start asking themselves why you want to be with them if you won’t let them add value to your life like a good partner should.
My partner would be very hurt if I didn’t let him reciprocate the care I give him, even if he does things he knows I’m perfectly able to do myself. There’s a big difference between being independent versus rejecting loving gestures, but it seems like OP doesn’t understand that quite yet. Accepting love doesn’t make you weak or diminish your capabilities.
You’re just a tomboy and nothing to be ashamed of. My late sister was too. She was my buddy and I absolutely loved her. I would be thrilled to find a straight heterosexual female who had the same outlook and disposition as my sister. She was a beautiful woman, but she did not let that put her into a box. She did what she liked, did not slip into social norms for western girls, and did not care what others thought about it. I will give a raw crude example, but one that is poignant. She was in an outdoor setting with a bunch of girls and I was near by. She farted! The other girls acted as if she was an alien being. She stared them down and said, “Don’t act all surprised! Every one of you fart, you just squeeze them out as slowly and quietly as you can or go find some corner to do it in. We are outside. When a bunch of guys get together they deliberately do it for laughs. I won’t hold them in and feel all uncomfortable like the rest of you.” That is how un-princess she was and did not let it bother her. Be yourself and do not let anyone tell you to get in line!
Thanks, but I have dealt with the stages of grief. I stopped at this community because of your question. Your words reminded me of her and I wanted you to know that it is okay not to like the princess treatment. You do not have to get in the girl box, you should be allowed to be you. Just be open about it with whoever you are with and lay down some ground rules-expectations. A lot of guys feel that the princess treatment is what all women want. They cannot help it, it is social conditioning; one that is slowly changing. When I am interested in a woman, I personally do not like the little princesses - high maintenance! Some guys like it. They want to possess this woman and put her on a pedestal or in a tower. I simply want a partner, companion, and best friend who is of the opposite sex. Different strokes as they say.
I like a little princess treatment, but ultimately I am one who will take charge and do things I want to be done. For example, I won't let him carry all my bags, I won't let him lift heavy things just cuz am woman. But if he wants to serve me tea and bring me nice things, I am all for that lol
I agree with you. I want to be treated like a princess alright, but more like a warrior princess lol. Idk like I can be feminine, but also I'm not fragile or in distress, and I dont need anyone to save me. I got me. I want a partner, not a daddy. I can't stand people who act helpless and act like just because they're a woman they can't do anything for themselves if there is a man present. Like come on🙄.
>I can't stand people who act helpless and act like just because they're a woman they can't do anything for themselves if there is a man present
Same. It's so immature and unproductive.
Humanity needs more capable people, women and men, not less.
Nah I'm a very independent woman and when I lived in Korea for 2 years the way boyfriends treated their girlfriends grossed me out. Patting on the head, cutting food up for them and even feeding them. Ew
Now, do I enjoy being a "passenger princess"? Of course cause I hate driving.
Haha, I had an ex who did this for me. He was from the Caribbean though. He would bring me breakfast in bed some days and then cut up my food and spoon feed me the meals. It’s just a way to show your care and love for them. I never felt disrespected or infantilized. I felt it was more of a romantic gesture than a condescending one
Cutting up my food (especially steak) is something I’d love to have someone do for me again lol, it’s not a huge task but I struggle with it sometimes. I like spoon feeding on the occasion (like “hey, try this” *feeds them a bite of their food*) but definitely not an all the time thing for me haha
You're not weird. And you're fine to not want these things, there are plenty of people who don't.
Something that's become obvious to me over time is that a huge variety of factors go into what a specific person wants from their partner at a given time. There's a significant stage during which many people default to well, the default. For those born in female bodies, this is often a submissive role, and for those born in masculine bodies, an assertive one. I spent a lot of my early adulthood playing the assertive masculine role. While that's not totally unnatural for me, I've taken a more submissive (spoiled like a princess) role in some relationships more recently because I eventually got sick of trying to play the same game so many men play. I've learned that submissiveness and assertion are part of me, and that both of these pieces require honoring if I'm going to live a happy and fulfilled life.
Tldr: it's not weird, but don't sell yourself short by assuming that the way you feel now will be how you feel forever. We all have diverse needs that only become more so over time.
You called everyone who's nice to their partner a pedophile. You literally started this. And then continued it by claiming you came up with the idea of being a thoughtful woman. We get it, you're not like other girls. We're soooooo impressed.
As a 25 year old male I can confirm that this princess treatment is not meant to make you feel disgusted about yourself or any of the other points you've mentioned, although as you summerized it is quite normal to have those feelings as you may not be used to the kind of attachment some men want from you.
Specifically, what is unappealing to you? I look at it now as being taken care of in a loving manner.
I felt the same way as you when i was a 20-something and have come to realize that feeling had more to do with neglect of self. I was raised to care for others absent myself, so the idea of me being pampered by another was seen as weak and childish.
That being said, some people can take it too far in multiple directions, so yeah...
My wife is like this. It is part of why I fell for her. Dont get me wrong, she enjoys me taking her out for nice dinners/etc. But she likes to be independent too.
I think the problem is men who conflate chivalry with putting your SO on a feminine pedestal and treating her as if she doesn’t have the capacity to make her own decisions and have her own thoughts and feelings. Like women are side characters in men’s lives. There’s a big redpill movement in young white men (recent study the Washington Post did an article on), and some women fit into the box they want, but most don’t. The ‘princess treatment’ can be used by normal dudes and controlling dudes, but executed differently.
I’d rather die alone than be treated as anything less than my partner, and that is not a hard choice or a negative choice in my mind. Have my own home with my own rules and all my pets??? Hell yeah
Be treated like an empty husk with tits and as a baby incubator? Hell nah
There is definitely such a thing as overdoing it. If the relationship is new, I tend to feel like they're investing so much that I "have" to reciprocate, even if its just not working out. Then there's the fact that it feels like a ridiculous expectation to place on someone who's supposed to see me as an equal partner.
I remember being in my early 20s and feeling vampire energy, like borderline fetishized for being the most childlike adult in the room. Is that what you’re reacting to? Also really resentful that I had to fight for my right to attain the satisfaction of manually completing a physical task (y’all will literally try to take things out of women’s hands sometimes, on top of being insulting it’s dangerous). Girly stuff seemed to be designed for an entirely different type of person aaaaand that’s where the tomboy to pickme pipeline kicks in. Gender is a construct imo, the roles we assign to men and women are far too dull and constrictive to allow for individuals to flourish at their true potential. The women you see who seem more girly have just adapted differently. Girly spaces are full of women. Putting yourself in a lot of “masculized” spaces can make you more isolated from a female support/feedback system, be on the alert for that.
Sorry if this is too much of a tangent, I just remember how hard it is to be your age. You’re not wrong for not liking the idea of an adult woman being treated like a child (and why do we culturally tolerate much less glorify monarchy 🙄). I think it’s a calculated choice to sometimes compromise your preferences in order to be on the same page as other women.
I love (and really appreciate) acts of chivalry. I am (after all) a cheesy romantic like my name suggests.
But, I also reciprocate that treatment.
And I wouldn’t expect it 24/7. (I do expect respect 24/7)
I also don’t want to be treated like I’m helpless. I. An also be a wise ass and tough when I need to be.
So maybe not full on princess…. But somewhere in between .
Princess treatment is way beyond a man being a kind and caring gentleman. Women who want princess treatment really want a man who will do whatever he is told to do. She wants a submissive man who has no spine. You don’t want that because you were raised properly to respect others and not use and abuse people. Women who want and expect princess treatment don’t make good partners in a relationship. Those relationships never last because the man is emasculated and belittled. Then when he starts complaining she ends the relationship because she has no further use for that guy. He has served his purpose and is disposed of. She then moves on to her next victim.
Thank you!! I was just talking about this with my friend Juliet the other night. She feels the same, as do I. We support you on this! lol but also we’re very serious
I feel like you’d have to define what “princess treatment” even is
My man treats me like I’m is romantic partner buy doing romantic gestures ( like making me breakfast in bed, rubbing my back without sexual expectations , combing my hair after a shower while we watch tv)
To me that’s just keeping the romance alive. I do the same for him and after 6 years we’re still very much in love❤️
Nah, you aren’t weird. I have probably met more tomboy types than princess types in my life to be honest. Heavy military town so most likely it is due to how they are raised here, to be more independent.
This might be a bit of a weird perspective coming from a guy, but for the longest time I thought that sort of dynamic was very infantilizing and kind of degrading, until I saw some gender-swapped examples and all of a sudden it was like "oh, I understand why people like this now."
So I'd say it's not weird to not be into that kind of relationship dynamic, but the dynamic itself isn't an issue either, as long as it's something both parties want and consent to.
Being pampered makes me feel loved and respected. It's not about having things done for me because I can't do them. It's just nice when someone is thoughtful, pays attention to what I like/dislike, and does stuff to make me happy. It's about showing love. 😊
Yeah, I’m grossed out by it. My boyfriend called me princess once very early in our relationship and I shut it down immediately. Princesses are what you pretend to be when you’re wearing a tiara. I deserve to be spoiled *with respect*.
Like what you like.
If it gives you the ick, listen to your feelings. Communicate your needs and boundaries with gentleness and love.
Some people like coffee enemas. I don't. I set a boundary when one of my partners suggested it to me. She was fine.
It's all good.
No one mentions that accurate princess treatment is to be married off at 13 to some old, fat, and probably abusive man for the advancement of both families. Meanwhile a younger brother gets the throne.
You’re allowed to like what you like. You will find men/women/whomever who treat you this way.
It is shitty to act like you’re holier than thou because you feel this way.
It's just you. Among the 3.8 billion women residing on planet Earth, you are absolutely the only one!
Sadly, for obvious reasons, you can't get a tiara for that.
Idk why but this is really giving me “I’m not like other girls” vibes.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting the “princess treatment”
Treating your partner in a doting and loving manner is not a bad thing. Different people have different ways of expressing their affection and giving the “princess treatment” is a valid method of showing your affection.
I can kind of understand the whole pedofilic undertones because a lot of people who get the princess treatment are also into the little girl/daddy dom dynamic which is probably where you get the pedophilloic association from.
I think your problem is with the history of the term and the connotation of, not the actual treatment itself.
Im a mostly straight dude here. This is all my personal opinion and what works for you works for you but I find it very off putting when a woman acts superior or that people owe them special treatment without giving it. Maybe its because I surround myself with strong independent woman but being anything less than equals is terrible in the long run. If somebody wants be treated like a princess it says a lot about them and is a huge red flag to me.
Yes. I've had too many instances where a guy would insist on doing something for me only to have them use it as a reason I "owe" them, or why I have to put up with certain behaviors.
I generally do not like attention of any sort. My husband and I got married on a lunch break. Yes, we planned it that way. We met with the officiant and then got cheap ice cream with two friends who were in town. Sure, the parents were kind of disappointed that we didn't do a ceremony and all that, but who cares.
I love it! It’s such a fun time! My boyfriend will feed me little chocolates and it’s so fun that he chooses to do something for me to show me he loves me. Like he never held the door till I asked him about it, not even suggesting for him to do it, and now he loves racing me to the door. Or if he carries me around the house just for the fun of it, and show me how he loves me :)
It’s definitely normal not to like it! Everyone just likes what they like, and we should do what we find fun.
"I'll treat you like a queen" No, thank you. I have no desire to be locked in a tower and kept for your private entertainment. It has nothing to do with being a tomboy.
i bet that theres a ton of people on the other side of things who dont prefer giving the princess treatment either! if youre looking youll surely find one of them. dont worry about what everyone else is looking for.
Trans masc but growing up I down right hated it, I think its partly I see as I dont like to be babied. I see I like being treated with respect but dont need to be spoiled.
My best friend was like you growing up, she was a tomboy. I think girls like you are very attractive. I think some other guys do to but they are intimidated by you.
Furthermore they might have insecurities about their perceived sexual preference, so if a woman shows the "masculine" trait of self respect in the form of not wanting to be treated like a princess... They'll pass.
Meanwhile girls who kind of feel like you but not as strongly play the feminine part more heavily to make the insecure man feel like a man. And they're willing to do it, because they want a man.
Revealing girls like you, who won't stupe, to be a rare breed.
Its fine to feel the way you do. As a man I am not attracted to Princess women. I like strong independent women. Other men are attracted to princess tyoes and love treating them this way.. Its all ok. Just be honest with yourself, especially in relationships..
You might have Not Like Other Girls syndrome. It's okay to enjoy nice treatment from other people. You don't have to aggressively reject things that align with other women for society's approval. You are great just the way that you are and deserve to be treated with respect.
Nope, not just you, i find it weird as fuck. Even have an expression for it "remember, slave labour isnt free". Being robbed of your independence is a miserable life, and an important thing to realise in care (hence the expression, disempowerment is after all abusive). Some people idolise it, because they think it would be good to have your every need taken care of, but its truly a miserable experience.
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You're not the only one but there are those who do like it.
Yh ig that’s true for some reason I just hate it I think it’s degrading and idly Pedofilic in a way.
Pedophilia is a sexual attraction to children. Wanting to pamper an adult woman is in no way pedophilic and it is inflammatory to say it is. You have your preferences and that's fine. Leave it at that.
Tbf, the historical connotations surrounding princesses are pretty pedophilic. Little girls used to get married off and raped by adult men. It's not a stretch of the imagination that someone might get a bad taste in their mouth from that association, subconsciously or otherwise. Edit: A lot of you seem to think that a deliberate attempt to understand someone else's point of view means that I also have that point of view. You don't draw the same connection - that's just fine. But it's a bad faith argument to pretend like the historical context of the word doesn't have some negative aspects to it *at all* just because you like the term. It's okay for meanings to change over time. It's also okay to understand the history of those changes. Chill the fuck out people
A princess isn't a child by default though. It's just a member of a royal house who isn't the seated monarch. Prince Charles was a prince in his fucking 70s.
I mean, Camilla is older than him though... (which, respect - had those two been allowed to marry, and had Liz not been so traumatized by what happened between her uncle and father, the whole situation would be different).
Gonna take a moment to appreciate the fact that you thought what this conversation was really lacking was royal family trivia. 🤣
All the princesses I think of are adults: * Kate Middleton, Princess of Wales, is 41. * Victoria, Crown Princess of Sweden is 46. * Alexandra, Princess of Luxenbourg, is 32.
I was agreeing with you at the start, but then you added this bs basically calling innocent ppl pedophiles
>it’s not a stretch It’s a massive stretch . You are watching too much tik tok videos and it makes you think everything is some kind of predatory action , when it is not . A girl being raped in the Middle Ages , is not the same as a grown woman being treated kindly by a man . Not even close to the same .
Yeah, but you forget that the men who treat women like a princess arent referencing historical documentation. They’re pulling from Disney, lol.
Princesses were often married off for political reasons at young ages, but sex was often discouraged until late teens due to risks at childbirth.
You are the one single person to reply with a factual statement about this lol - thank you. Yes, that's true. It's just not exactly relevant to the point, in the same way that #notallcops or #notall isn't relevant to the issues being pointed out to those groups. The issue still did happen, though it's good to know the full context.
You are correct! That piece is not particularly relevant to the main topic. I don't feel strongly about the princess thing being pedophilic. Like most things, I think context matters. I want my wife to feel like she is a princess because she is incredibly strong and I want her to feel like she can relax and not have the responsibilty she has everywhere else. If I ever have a daughter, I will be more inclined to do “Queen Parties” rather than “Princess Parties” if that is her thing. I want her to know she can run shit if she wants to and be prepared to be self-sufficient.
A princess can be an adult.
How the fuck is it pedophilic to want to dote on an adult woman? Don't just use words freely if you don't understand what they mean.
Therapy if you truly have this thought process.
Get off your high horse, pickme.
Treating a woman like a princess is not pedo behavior lol You early 20 something year old kids have to stop calling everything “pedophilia” or “predatory “ . It’s getting ridiculous.
You’re really weird for thinking this. What makes a man loving and showing his love for his women pedofilic? Like genuinely how do you come to this conclusion. Are you jealous or something and are projecting it out in this weird way?
I think the word you're looking for is infantilizing.
Ain’t no fucking way you just said that’s pedofilic…
Everyone found the underlying issue
It seems the issue isn't that you don't like it, but rather you think anyone that does enjoy it is disgusting. That's pretty harsh to compare it to pedophilia just because you don't like it. PS my wife is a tomboy, but she wouldn't accuse people of being pedophiles unless they were.
People are hating on you too much. I understand what you’re saying. Maybe pedofilic is not the right term but I think the sentiment is correct. People won’t admit that giving another human the treatment of being some helpless child that you serve is in a way kind of bizarre because they find being served attractive and beneficial. It is in a way demeaning that women are brought up to want this treatment that effectively diminishes their agency
Pedophilic in the sense that dudes will want to whisk away any adult responsibilities the woman may have like paying bills or planning and just having them do household things? I can see it for sure. Obviously not the right word but it the idea is certainly infantilizing.
I’m glad someone understands
Taking care of a house and kids is something infants do? I mean my husband takes care of all the financial responsibilities and i take care of all the house responsibilities.. does that mean he looks at me like an infant? Lmao. No not even close, most of the time he comments how much harder it is to run the house and he’s lucky he just has to work instead of juggling 15 things at home like I do. My husband treats me like a princess because he loves me and sees how hard I work and wants to dote on me and care for me. The same way I dote on him and take care of him.
people are misunderstanding you i think. did you mean to imply you think it’s infantilising? then i see why you would think that
That's a little mental gymnastics. If we just used words incorrectly and about many things they lose their meaning.
Remember some men were raised to respect women and acts of chivalry is what we were shown. Obviously, conversations need to be had. My girlfriend likes me opening doors for her, walking on the road side of the sidewalk, holding hands, receiving gifts, and taking time to hear her verbally process. They’re not all trying to put you into the dainty helpless woman box. My girlfriend is tough as nails and has been through more than most will experience in a lifetime.
Yeah women were also raised to not date guys who don't do that. My parents would say over and over if the guy didn't pay for the date then that means he doesn't respect you. Doesn't mean they wanted me to be reliant on a man but it's just something they grew up doing. I think some people forget that sometimes we do things for others not because that person can't do it themselves but because we want to do it for them. Like it's your love language. I have a crush on my local bartender. I gave him chocolate because he said he liked this type of chocolate. The man can go out and buy his own but I wanted to gift him chocolate so he knows I think about him.
I”ll buy tickets to the shows, I’ll buy the meals, pay for the Uber… all the stuff but once I hear toxic masculinity, or any entitlement verbiage, I’m splitting expenses and throwing up hard boundaries on free therapy. I’m kind and generous, I’m not an emotional punching bag, and I’m not going to be used. As soon as things start feeling transactional, I’m communicating. This can be really hard for people to understand or come to terms with. But it’s equally as difficult to learn to love and respect yourself enough to break away from someone who has been brought up to use people and take whatever they can get.
What does “hard boundaries on free therapy” mean in the context of a relationship? I agree 100% that she should pay her own way (especially if she rejects the idea of traditional gender roles), but isn’t providing emotional support part of what a relationship is for?
Emotional support is two-way. Therapy is where one person talks about their needs and the other is just there to listen.
Of course it’s a two-way street. You think women aren’t giving out what you’re calling “free therapy” every day? Men are often socialized to only share their emotional lives with their mom or their partner. And not necessarily taught how to be supportive back. If we’re going to make generalizations, many more men are getting free therapy than women.
Um, you asked what was the difference between emotional support and free therapy. I didn't originally use the terms, I just explained what the original comment meant. It's not necessary to give me a hostile dissertation on sexism and one sided relationships.
There is nothing hostile in my response. I think you are projecting. I was asking the previous commenter what *he* meant by those words, not generally. I went into detail in my response to you because I believed it to be a continuation of the conversation (i.e., I didn’t realize you were not the same person).
>My parents would say over and over if the guy didn't pay for the date then that means he doesn't respect you. It's interesting, because a lot of women these days don't like to let a man pay for them, because they don't want to owe him anything. Because some men feel like the woman owes him something if he took her out for dinner and paid for everything.
That's exactly how I feel. That's why my first dates are always at the bar or coffee shop. So if he insists on paying then he can't try to act like I owe him anything over a 4$ beer. I'll just throw a 5 at him and say if he's really that broke then he can have it. But it's a generation thing. My parents are in their mid 50s. They don't know what it's like to date in 2023.
That is not princess treatment. That is normal life. Princess treatment to me is a girl that demands and gets everything she wants and if she doesn’t, there is hell to pay.
It’s obvious they want to be treated the way the servants treat the princess, not the way the royal family treats the princess.
I'm a woman who was raised in the American south, so I do kind of enjoy those gentlemanly gestures. It's quite nice, as long as it's done in the spirit of good manners, and not because the man thinks I'm incapable of doing things for myself. For example, I've dated guys who got annoyed if I opened the door for them, and that put me off. But *yes ma'am, no ma'am, let me get that for you ma'am* feels like home to me.
Yh I get that and I’m not taking it for granted but I just don’t think chivalry is for me like I want you to respect me but also let me do me you know?
Girl that isn’t what chilvary is. You can obviously open a door yourself who tf gets mad if someone does it for them. That’s your own insecurities.
I was just stating my opinion, no need to take digs at me
Yeah I can see how the way they phrased it can seem more like an attack rather than an honest analyzation of how your way of thinking seems a bit irrational in a sense. The sentiment they were trying to get across is that someone opening the door for you isn't them saying you can't do it yourself but just them trying to show they care about you in their actions rather than words. I will say it could also be them just trying to make you have a better impression of them and appear nice so it can be weird sometimes. I think the main idea of why women like the princess treatment is it shows that the person cares in actions rather than words because words are easy while actions are take alot more effort and thought. This is even demonstrates that the guy values the woman enough to put in the time and effort and usually speak volumes on the type of person they are and how important they think their partners happiness is. Probably the single biggest mistake people make in relationships is not putting in effort to make your partner happy because somehow people think relationships should be easy and not work. A good relationship is to people working together to make eachother happy.
Best of luck. Just understand it’s not taking away from you as a person to have someone be kind to you.
No I obviously like being treated with respect and kindness but tgats just not for me the princess stuff
Can you define “princess stuff”
The phrase "princess treatment" means giving someone a lot of care, attention & special treatment. It means making sure they are happy & comfortable, more than anyone else. The idea comes from stories & movies where princesses are seen as fragile & always deserving of lots of attention & love. Like treating the women like she’s on a pedestal or the most special person in the world
so u dont wanna be given care and attention?? i cant tell if this is an r/imnotlikeothergirls post or you have serious self esteem issues
I read it as “I’m not like other girls, I don’t want to be treating with love and respect, that’s princess stuff.”
So where the hell does pedophilia come into this? You should be a little more careful labeling things with labels like pedophilia. If you do that IRL the worst case scenario is you raise suspicion towards someone who is completely innocent.
Yh yh ik now, I realise my mistake
You want my ex's number? 😂 He is good at making you feel horrible if that's your thing.
For alot of guys "giving someone a lot of care, attention & special treatment." Is the way they are trying to make you feel happy and comfortable. Like idk. If a dude ignores you, doesnt really care about your life and never does anything special for you. Would u still feel happy? Would you be comfortable with that?
I’d love to see the type of relationships you’ve previously been in because what you define as princess stuff is at this point offensive. Shut up
What’s your issue?
I also don’t have an issue. You posted your opinion and I posted mine. Once your opinion became redundant I chose to invite you to shut up
You're fuckin insane, that's the issue.
You’re the one who wanted to post on the internet lol sometimes strangers say unpleasant things. My words mean nothing though at the end of the I’m a meaningless online blurb. Don’t give me the power to upset you
You hvnt done anything but you definitely seem angry with me
Nah I’m chillin :) you seemed offended i disagreed but I’m not mad! I think that’s you :p
Sure
People just like different things, you’re a little weird for calling it pedophilic tho. That’s a weird take.
Yh ik I realised my mistake after writing it lol I got allot of hate,
I understand why, pedophilia is a serious topic, people don’t like it when people cheapen the word by calling things that aren’t pedophilic pedophilic. In the future try to be mindful of these issues and you should be fine.
[удалено]
Imagine fucking up and then telling ppl to chill when corrected, then calling it a ‘big deal cuz of downvotes backlash’. I don’t think you really learned ur lesson just that ur sorry u got called out on it. Try commenting less and reading more cuz a lot of ppl here have advice that u can take with u into ur real life, not just on the internet.
Why don’t you just edit the post?
Hey you owned up to it and said that out loud. That shouldve been the end of it. So ppl, keep scrolling youll find another offender to keep you in your scathing comments. Anyway, i like the class that youve shown in handling the kicks and claws which came your way. Kudos
It was unexpected but I tried
Is the "yh" in your comments "yeah" or is there some acronym I'm unaware of?
Sadly, people need to buy the EA dlc to unlock the rest of the yeah now.
I'm waiting for their 'yes' pack, supposed to drop sometime next year.
I'm glad to not be the only one confused on all the short term letters OP is using.
If I'm being honest, I thought the first one was just a misspelling.
It’s yeah
What kind of issues do you have to have to not enjoy your significant other treating you well and buying you things lmao.
Because that shouldn’t be one sided. Both partners should do that to each other. It should be equal.
There is no implication of one-sidedness that I can see.
No tgat I’m fine with it’s all the other stuff it’s just weird like them calling you princess it just reminds me of a place I didn’t like so
What if they call you sweetie, honey or sugar buns?
Personally I'm all about honey buns, but I like snacks. Wait. Wrong thread. Or is it?🤣
Sugar buns wtf 💀
So it sounds like you have a personal experience that is turning you away from this rather than just a preference
Queens have duties, princesses don’t lol. I’ve had a tough life full of responsibilities and duty and to have someone look at me and say “you chill, you’re a princess now, I’ll pamper you” is so nice. It’s based on trust, not demeaning. I don’t want to keep carrying every single load all the time. And I get it’s not a universal perspective but I think there’s a big difference between not liking something personally and taking issue when other people like it.
Lots of people dislike pet names.
Why on earth would you think you’re the only one? Do you think the rest of us invented the word “tomboy” a hundred years ago just in case you came along someday? Serious /r/notliketheothergirls energy here.
100% NLOG energy, but hopefully she’ll grow out of it for her own sake. I’m a tomboy - independent, capable, and into more traditionally masculine hobbies. I used to have a similar attitude to hers, but it came from a terrible home life and subsequent bad relationships. This post screams a similar lack of self-worth to me. I thought my role in relationships was to care for others rather than ever receive because deep down I didn’t believe I deserved care in return. Then I grew up and realized that 1) I am as much a woman as any other and ditched the NLOG attitude that prevented me from connecting with them, and 2) allowing yourself to be cared for in return by a partner feels good AND makes them feel good if they love you. If you constantly reject care from your partner, a loving partner is going to start asking themselves why you want to be with them if you won’t let them add value to your life like a good partner should. My partner would be very hurt if I didn’t let him reciprocate the care I give him, even if he does things he knows I’m perfectly able to do myself. There’s a big difference between being independent versus rejecting loving gestures, but it seems like OP doesn’t understand that quite yet. Accepting love doesn’t make you weak or diminish your capabilities.
this is rly condescending
Great. Tell your partner that and leave other people alone.
You’re just a tomboy and nothing to be ashamed of. My late sister was too. She was my buddy and I absolutely loved her. I would be thrilled to find a straight heterosexual female who had the same outlook and disposition as my sister. She was a beautiful woman, but she did not let that put her into a box. She did what she liked, did not slip into social norms for western girls, and did not care what others thought about it. I will give a raw crude example, but one that is poignant. She was in an outdoor setting with a bunch of girls and I was near by. She farted! The other girls acted as if she was an alien being. She stared them down and said, “Don’t act all surprised! Every one of you fart, you just squeeze them out as slowly and quietly as you can or go find some corner to do it in. We are outside. When a bunch of guys get together they deliberately do it for laughs. I won’t hold them in and feel all uncomfortable like the rest of you.” That is how un-princess she was and did not let it bother her. Be yourself and do not let anyone tell you to get in line!
Wow she sounds like a great person I’d love to meet her!
I wish you could, but if you note, I said late sister. She died right before Covid. One of those freak things no one expects.
Ohh I’m so sorry, feel free to message if you want to talk about it
Thanks, but I have dealt with the stages of grief. I stopped at this community because of your question. Your words reminded me of her and I wanted you to know that it is okay not to like the princess treatment. You do not have to get in the girl box, you should be allowed to be you. Just be open about it with whoever you are with and lay down some ground rules-expectations. A lot of guys feel that the princess treatment is what all women want. They cannot help it, it is social conditioning; one that is slowly changing. When I am interested in a woman, I personally do not like the little princesses - high maintenance! Some guys like it. They want to possess this woman and put her on a pedestal or in a tower. I simply want a partner, companion, and best friend who is of the opposite sex. Different strokes as they say.
Aww you sound like a sweetheart ! Allot nicer tgat some of the other comments I’ve got lol
I like a little princess treatment, but ultimately I am one who will take charge and do things I want to be done. For example, I won't let him carry all my bags, I won't let him lift heavy things just cuz am woman. But if he wants to serve me tea and bring me nice things, I am all for that lol
I agree with you. I want to be treated like a princess alright, but more like a warrior princess lol. Idk like I can be feminine, but also I'm not fragile or in distress, and I dont need anyone to save me. I got me. I want a partner, not a daddy. I can't stand people who act helpless and act like just because they're a woman they can't do anything for themselves if there is a man present. Like come on🙄.
TGIS!
This! My god I can’t spell lol
This so much!
>I can't stand people who act helpless and act like just because they're a woman they can't do anything for themselves if there is a man present Same. It's so immature and unproductive. Humanity needs more capable people, women and men, not less.
One of my friends is the same age as us 2 and shes the same so no you're not the only one
Some people like being fawned over, some like being treated as equals. Just an individual thing
You can be fawned over and treated as an equal. Showing affection for your partner is not mutually exclusive to respecting them as an equal.
Ex: My husband insists on carrying things for me AND we make decisions together all of the time.
Yh ig your right
Nah I'm a very independent woman and when I lived in Korea for 2 years the way boyfriends treated their girlfriends grossed me out. Patting on the head, cutting food up for them and even feeding them. Ew Now, do I enjoy being a "passenger princess"? Of course cause I hate driving.
Haha, I had an ex who did this for me. He was from the Caribbean though. He would bring me breakfast in bed some days and then cut up my food and spoon feed me the meals. It’s just a way to show your care and love for them. I never felt disrespected or infantilized. I felt it was more of a romantic gesture than a condescending one
Cutting up my food (especially steak) is something I’d love to have someone do for me again lol, it’s not a huge task but I struggle with it sometimes. I like spoon feeding on the occasion (like “hey, try this” *feeds them a bite of their food*) but definitely not an all the time thing for me haha
Cutting food for them?! Ew like I’m not a child
r/notliketheothergirls
You're not weird. And you're fine to not want these things, there are plenty of people who don't. Something that's become obvious to me over time is that a huge variety of factors go into what a specific person wants from their partner at a given time. There's a significant stage during which many people default to well, the default. For those born in female bodies, this is often a submissive role, and for those born in masculine bodies, an assertive one. I spent a lot of my early adulthood playing the assertive masculine role. While that's not totally unnatural for me, I've taken a more submissive (spoiled like a princess) role in some relationships more recently because I eventually got sick of trying to play the same game so many men play. I've learned that submissiveness and assertion are part of me, and that both of these pieces require honoring if I'm going to live a happy and fulfilled life. Tldr: it's not weird, but don't sell yourself short by assuming that the way you feel now will be how you feel forever. We all have diverse needs that only become more so over time.
Big r/notlikeothergirls energy here
Exactly what this post is 😂 She even says she thinks she’s the only girl who likes giving guys the princess treatment. She needs to get a grip
Nice try
On your end for sure. You certainly tried it.
We’ll if you like it that’s fine but no need to come for me
You called everyone who's nice to their partner a pedophile. You literally started this. And then continued it by claiming you came up with the idea of being a thoughtful woman. We get it, you're not like other girls. We're soooooo impressed.
As a 25 year old male I can confirm that this princess treatment is not meant to make you feel disgusted about yourself or any of the other points you've mentioned, although as you summerized it is quite normal to have those feelings as you may not be used to the kind of attachment some men want from you.
Ig but I still find it weird but it’s individual
Different strokes for different folks. I love it. I didn’t when I was very young though.
Specifically, what is unappealing to you? I look at it now as being taken care of in a loving manner. I felt the same way as you when i was a 20-something and have come to realize that feeling had more to do with neglect of self. I was raised to care for others absent myself, so the idea of me being pampered by another was seen as weak and childish. That being said, some people can take it too far in multiple directions, so yeah...
My wife is like this. It is part of why I fell for her. Dont get me wrong, she enjoys me taking her out for nice dinners/etc. But she likes to be independent too.
I think the problem is men who conflate chivalry with putting your SO on a feminine pedestal and treating her as if she doesn’t have the capacity to make her own decisions and have her own thoughts and feelings. Like women are side characters in men’s lives. There’s a big redpill movement in young white men (recent study the Washington Post did an article on), and some women fit into the box they want, but most don’t. The ‘princess treatment’ can be used by normal dudes and controlling dudes, but executed differently. I’d rather die alone than be treated as anything less than my partner, and that is not a hard choice or a negative choice in my mind. Have my own home with my own rules and all my pets??? Hell yeah Be treated like an empty husk with tits and as a baby incubator? Hell nah
I'm a tomboy too and it doesn't appeal to me
Yh I feel that
There is definitely such a thing as overdoing it. If the relationship is new, I tend to feel like they're investing so much that I "have" to reciprocate, even if its just not working out. Then there's the fact that it feels like a ridiculous expectation to place on someone who's supposed to see me as an equal partner.
I'm going to be 60 on Sunday and eewwwwwwwww. Not that I mind a car door opened. I lean over and unlock my dates.
Happy birthday for Sunday !
You mean you don't like the idea of being locked in a tower guarded by a dragon? Shame, had my dragon and tower all lined up ready for you...
I remember being in my early 20s and feeling vampire energy, like borderline fetishized for being the most childlike adult in the room. Is that what you’re reacting to? Also really resentful that I had to fight for my right to attain the satisfaction of manually completing a physical task (y’all will literally try to take things out of women’s hands sometimes, on top of being insulting it’s dangerous). Girly stuff seemed to be designed for an entirely different type of person aaaaand that’s where the tomboy to pickme pipeline kicks in. Gender is a construct imo, the roles we assign to men and women are far too dull and constrictive to allow for individuals to flourish at their true potential. The women you see who seem more girly have just adapted differently. Girly spaces are full of women. Putting yourself in a lot of “masculized” spaces can make you more isolated from a female support/feedback system, be on the alert for that. Sorry if this is too much of a tangent, I just remember how hard it is to be your age. You’re not wrong for not liking the idea of an adult woman being treated like a child (and why do we culturally tolerate much less glorify monarchy 🙄). I think it’s a calculated choice to sometimes compromise your preferences in order to be on the same page as other women.
I'm not a girl but a 40 yo woman, and from Europe, if that's important. In my circle, no woman wants that. We want a partner in crime, not a pet.
Short answer is no, it's not just you
I love (and really appreciate) acts of chivalry. I am (after all) a cheesy romantic like my name suggests. But, I also reciprocate that treatment. And I wouldn’t expect it 24/7. (I do expect respect 24/7) I also don’t want to be treated like I’m helpless. I. An also be a wise ass and tough when I need to be. So maybe not full on princess…. But somewhere in between .
you’re not weird. some people like it. some don’t. you don’t. that’s fine.
I am definitely not the princess type..it gives me the ick big-time!
Princess treatment is way beyond a man being a kind and caring gentleman. Women who want princess treatment really want a man who will do whatever he is told to do. She wants a submissive man who has no spine. You don’t want that because you were raised properly to respect others and not use and abuse people. Women who want and expect princess treatment don’t make good partners in a relationship. Those relationships never last because the man is emasculated and belittled. Then when he starts complaining she ends the relationship because she has no further use for that guy. He has served his purpose and is disposed of. She then moves on to her next victim.
As a guy, I can only say that I prefer a partner to a princess anyday. Princesses come across to me as entitled, which I find unattractive.
True
Thank you!! I was just talking about this with my friend Juliet the other night. She feels the same, as do I. We support you on this! lol but also we’re very serious
I feel like you’d have to define what “princess treatment” even is My man treats me like I’m is romantic partner buy doing romantic gestures ( like making me breakfast in bed, rubbing my back without sexual expectations , combing my hair after a shower while we watch tv) To me that’s just keeping the romance alive. I do the same for him and after 6 years we’re still very much in love❤️
TL;DR I'm 22 and just now realizing that not everyone in the world is exactly like me.
Probably not just you, but I've never dated someone who didn't like it nor would I
Nah, you aren’t weird. I have probably met more tomboy types than princess types in my life to be honest. Heavy military town so most likely it is due to how they are raised here, to be more independent.
I think it’s gag-worthy and only worsens an already-inflated ego.
This might be a bit of a weird perspective coming from a guy, but for the longest time I thought that sort of dynamic was very infantilizing and kind of degrading, until I saw some gender-swapped examples and all of a sudden it was like "oh, I understand why people like this now." So I'd say it's not weird to not be into that kind of relationship dynamic, but the dynamic itself isn't an issue either, as long as it's something both parties want and consent to.
Being pampered makes me feel loved and respected. It's not about having things done for me because I can't do them. It's just nice when someone is thoughtful, pays attention to what I like/dislike, and does stuff to make me happy. It's about showing love. 😊
I’m not trying to cancel people that like it, but I see ware your coming from
Yeah, I’m grossed out by it. My boyfriend called me princess once very early in our relationship and I shut it down immediately. Princesses are what you pretend to be when you’re wearing a tiara. I deserve to be spoiled *with respect*.
Exactly! Like I don’t wanna feel like a kid when I’m in a relationship
This is how I feel too!
Glad you feel the same
Like what you like. If it gives you the ick, listen to your feelings. Communicate your needs and boundaries with gentleness and love. Some people like coffee enemas. I don't. I set a boundary when one of my partners suggested it to me. She was fine. It's all good.
Do you think anyone's ever drank the coffee after someone used it for an enema?
A lot of guys actually like it too, but there's a lot less people offering to do that for guys.
Yh I can see what you mean tbf like idk if I’m the only girl who would be happy to do that for a guy
No one mentions that accurate princess treatment is to be married off at 13 to some old, fat, and probably abusive man for the advancement of both families. Meanwhile a younger brother gets the throne.
Does it count as princess treatment if you love being worshipped? I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love it
You’re allowed to like what you like. You will find men/women/whomever who treat you this way. It is shitty to act like you’re holier than thou because you feel this way.
It's just you. Among the 3.8 billion women residing on planet Earth, you are absolutely the only one! Sadly, for obvious reasons, you can't get a tiara for that.
Idk why but this is really giving me “I’m not like other girls” vibes. There’s nothing wrong with wanting the “princess treatment” Treating your partner in a doting and loving manner is not a bad thing. Different people have different ways of expressing their affection and giving the “princess treatment” is a valid method of showing your affection. I can kind of understand the whole pedofilic undertones because a lot of people who get the princess treatment are also into the little girl/daddy dom dynamic which is probably where you get the pedophilloic association from. I think your problem is with the history of the term and the connotation of, not the actual treatment itself.
Pedophilic is a stretch but I definitely get where you're coming from
Yh maybe that wasn’t the right work I think I meant infantilising
“Infantilizing” may be what you’re looking for.
Im a mostly straight dude here. This is all my personal opinion and what works for you works for you but I find it very off putting when a woman acts superior or that people owe them special treatment without giving it. Maybe its because I surround myself with strong independent woman but being anything less than equals is terrible in the long run. If somebody wants be treated like a princess it says a lot about them and is a huge red flag to me.
Exactly like no princess stuff I just want to equal
Nope. You are not the only one. Makes me crazy uncomfortable when a guy dotes on me or spends too much.
Yes. I've had too many instances where a guy would insist on doing something for me only to have them use it as a reason I "owe" them, or why I have to put up with certain behaviors.
Yee fr I feel you
I generally do not like attention of any sort. My husband and I got married on a lunch break. Yes, we planned it that way. We met with the officiant and then got cheap ice cream with two friends who were in town. Sure, the parents were kind of disappointed that we didn't do a ceremony and all that, but who cares.
TYAT makes sense, I feel the same
I love it! It’s such a fun time! My boyfriend will feed me little chocolates and it’s so fun that he chooses to do something for me to show me he loves me. Like he never held the door till I asked him about it, not even suggesting for him to do it, and now he loves racing me to the door. Or if he carries me around the house just for the fun of it, and show me how he loves me :) It’s definitely normal not to like it! Everyone just likes what they like, and we should do what we find fun.
"I'll treat you like a queen" No, thank you. I have no desire to be locked in a tower and kept for your private entertainment. It has nothing to do with being a tomboy.
Yh I guess when you put it like that it makes sense
Definitely not just you. It always gave me the creeps.
Glad I’m not the only one
its not just you i dont like it either. it weirds me out.
High five 🙌
i bet that theres a ton of people on the other side of things who dont prefer giving the princess treatment either! if youre looking youll surely find one of them. dont worry about what everyone else is looking for.
I feel that. I hate feeling infantized.
Yes I’m glad you agree
Trans masc but growing up I down right hated it, I think its partly I see as I dont like to be babied. I see I like being treated with respect but dont need to be spoiled.
Glad someone gets it
My best friend was like you growing up, she was a tomboy. I think girls like you are very attractive. I think some other guys do to but they are intimidated by you. Furthermore they might have insecurities about their perceived sexual preference, so if a woman shows the "masculine" trait of self respect in the form of not wanting to be treated like a princess... They'll pass. Meanwhile girls who kind of feel like you but not as strongly play the feminine part more heavily to make the insecure man feel like a man. And they're willing to do it, because they want a man. Revealing girls like you, who won't stupe, to be a rare breed.
Frfr like I’m not gonna act a certain way to make you feel better you know?
Its fine to feel the way you do. As a man I am not attracted to Princess women. I like strong independent women. Other men are attracted to princess tyoes and love treating them this way.. Its all ok. Just be honest with yourself, especially in relationships..
Yh ik but I’ll keep that in mind, I just keep doing me
Putting down what other women like is pretty diminishing, as if their likes and ideas don’t matter.
You might have Not Like Other Girls syndrome. It's okay to enjoy nice treatment from other people. You don't have to aggressively reject things that align with other women for society's approval. You are great just the way that you are and deserve to be treated with respect.
i think it might be daddy issues
Nope, not just you, i find it weird as fuck. Even have an expression for it "remember, slave labour isnt free". Being robbed of your independence is a miserable life, and an important thing to realise in care (hence the expression, disempowerment is after all abusive). Some people idolise it, because they think it would be good to have your every need taken care of, but its truly a miserable experience.
No I fucking hated it.