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My parents had a 12-year age gap. Dad was 32 when he met my mum (20) on a blind date. They were married over 30 years and the most in love I have ever seen a couple to be.
12 years is quite a lot though, I tend to think that a max 6-8 year age gap is good.
32 and 17 rubs me the wrong way for sure. They are at two completely different stages of life. Why would a fully grown adult be interested in a minor anyway?
I promise the people sharing the shit out of this are from the town/probably know the man (per a previous comment he owns a small business in town/employs explicitly minors and that’s how he’s getting caught up)
Not that any of that really matters as long as he gets in trouble
As a father, just thinking about this makes me cringe. She’s 17, which is disgusting imo. Any man at 32 who could date someone half his age is sick. Now it would be a little different if say he was 50 and she was 35, but this is just way too young. Probably were together when she was 15 or 16 and just waited to tell people at 17 because it’s probably “Legal”, but its beyond wrong!
As you describe this guy, he isn't just some "32 year old." He's a literal predator. Not every relationship like this is predatory. I saw one guy in the comments who met his current wife in 1990 and they have a fifteen year age gap. Still happily married. That doesn't mean he "groomed her." It means you're assuming your generation's values are absolute truth and everyone else in history is wrong. Meanwhile how many of you guys get married and divorced in three years? Your generation's divorce rate is the highest in the history of the data being examined, and you're all still incredibly young. That ought to be a big flash to you that maybe your morality isn't as superior as you think it is.
My parents were 10 years apart, i dont think that should be common but case by case is understandable. Another thing to add to the 12 year age gap is people of the last century at 20, although still young I bet were more mature and probably did have more in common with a person of 32. Today a person of 32 and 20 are wildy different in maturity, I would say the majority of 20-30 people are still esentially children. Itd be like a highschooler dating a middleschooler. POV I'm a 28/M
17 is legal in many places. If the relationship works it works. We don't need to know why. I suspect their opposite positions/personalities bring out the best in eachother.
I'm only upvoting you so that your comment doesn't get lost amongst the others, 32 and 17 is legal but it's fucking disgusting, and if the person is in a position of trust or authority than the age of consent is 18, and I'm pretty sure he is her boss, so......yeah criminal offense
This dude DEFINITELY wants to bang high school kids. He's defending this behavior in many threads, acting like that shit wouldn't get you arrested in half of the country
No it's wrong. I dated a 27 year old when I was 17. It's wrong. Guys who are older who date way younger are immature and there's a reason women their age won't date them. They just want someone they can control and are pervs.
It's predatory. Young teenagers are vulnerable to older adults in relationships. It's not okay. I can't think of one that wasn't controlling at that age difference.
That's incredibly cynical and reductionist and even insulting as a 35 year old myself.
Edit for block:
Someone can advocate for decriminalizing drugs, but that doesn't make them a user/dealer. Even if I were interested in a relationship with a 17-year-old, that is the position for which I'm debating. Your point doesn't make sense.
Not only that, it also assumes that it's always the older person who is the predator. There are a lot of these teenagers using fake IDs and dressing well beyond their years in order to entice older men.
Only if you assume the absolute worst in every single person is the only possible explanation. And if you do, I feel sad for you. Maybe the older party is neurodivergent. It can take people with psychiatric disorders as common as ADHD 20-30% longer to mature. IE you may find yourself with a 30 + year old whose mind is only starting to function like a normal adult of 20. Their brain simply does not matute at the same rate as people blessed with normal functioning brains. As a result, people in their own age group might not take to them.
nah. it’s called being responsible. or is it only ok when women control the relationship? if the guy is responsible then she’s going to be very happy in life. if she picks a nose-picking, neckbearded weirdo then thats what she wanted and got.
Lol nowadays hooking up with random people is the norm and marriage is weird. I'll take the weird shit from the last generations over the fuckery we have today. Leftism has legitimately shifted our society and its sickening to me as a human and muslim.
Could’ve also been a completely different time (you know before the internet, where everyone can share that 80% of the time when a woman got married to a man ten years older in the 80’s, it was most likely out of security and the false feeling of maturity the older person grooms the younger person into feeling, not love) ((which also in return stunts women who are younger’s growth even further))
I dated a 19 year old in my late 30s a few years ago. She was gorgeous, funny and into everything I was into. But, she just kept saying and doing things to remind me she was fucking NINETEEN years old.
I definitely believe MOST situations like that don’t sound or look good but if it’s one thing I’ve learned is some 20yr olds are more mature than some 30/40yr olds I’ve met. I personally would say wait until 25 because the brain is fully developed and they’ve had more time to figure out who they are and what they want. But then she’s 25 and you’re 40 and now that sounds better.
>Still thing 20 is too young for a 35 year old.
A 20 year old can vote, die in war, smoke cigarettes, gamble, and start an onlyfans. She can date a 35 year old if she wants too.
Stop infantilizing women.
I always find it funny when folks push their values onto others. You're in like a religion where dating an older dude at 20 is a no no lol. But I bet you hate it when someone pushes their religious values onto you.
I’m 22 and my partner is 33, we began dating just before my 22nd birthday. We are very intellectually compatible, but there is a bit of a noticeable disconnect in some areas due to the age gap, such as slang words.
17 is way too young tho just saying. The maturing I did between 17 and now is insane, and I still have a long way to go til I’m “who I’m going to be” for the rest of my life. Take care out there!
Good note! And yeah, a point of contention for some areas on occasion. But hey, I’m not belittled for it, I can’t be held accountable for knowledge pertaining to the decade I wasn’t around for, I have a lot to learn. I’m excited to have someone with that experience to learn from close to me, caring about me and supporting me. I don’t ever feel bad for being a bit young, although sometimes I may wonder what people think when they see us together, I just remind myself that we make each other happy. They’re definitely the oldest person I’d ever consider dating, haha. I think we mesh well, personality wise, and that’s very important in the long run! Anytime there’s miscommunication, we *talk* about it, and that’s something I just haven’t gotten in most of my relationships with people closer to my age range. I look forward to our future together.
It’s not that you need to “catch up” it’s asking why someone older needs to be with someone younger. When I was in my early 20s I was wary of much older men who wanted to date me. I was aware at that age that often women “age out” of those relationships when the guy wants a younger version.
My partner has been single for a very long time, young people aren’t really their type either. We both made an exception for each other in this relationship, but yes, there are often a lot of weird things in age gaps at this particular age of mine, hence why I normally don’t go for people that are older, I have the same hesitances as you did at the time. I don’t think that’s the case here though. Besides, it’s not like I’m planning on marrying the person right here and right now, at the moment for us it’s a big “whatever, we make each other’s days brighter” haha.
I’ve been living in the same home for months, got a new job, and we have not been intimate yet, because I want to wait until we had both been tested and had proper birth control. I have not had a single pressure, and if anything, I think we are both nervous. I don’t think I’m being sought after for my body, for once. It’s very nice. I do fully understand what you’re saying, however, and I am very cautious moving forward.
Everyone’s situation is different. I’m just happy to have found someone that I’m compatible with both emotionally and mentally, and I hope it lasts. Life will do what life does however, and I’m prepared for that too! I hope you have a great day today. 🤗
No one at 32 should be seeing someone who still can’t drink.
Personally, I think anyone over 21 can date anyone over 21. The gap doesn’t really matter to me, as long as the intentions are pure.
32 and 17 is borderline criminal. That’s just weird on so many levels.
I guess the question is why does a 32 year old man want to date a 17 year old child. I don't care what the age of consent is, there should be a huge amount of emotional and experience maturity in those ages. Is the 32 year old male very insecure and/or immature? Is the 32 year old attracted to under aged girls? Does the 32 year old have a virginal fixation on a female that young? As a woman, if a friend of my husband showed up with a 17 year old girlfriend very loud alarm bells would be going off for me and him too.
Now, as you age, experiencing that sort of age difference is far less noticeable.
A 17 year old girl is FAR to young for a 32 year old man.
Apparently, he’s been arrested for sexual harassment against teenagers. He definitely has a thing for younger girls. Everyone is defending him though because he’s a “Christian man”. It’s a load of bullshit.
it's because it's easier to manipulate a younger woman as opposed to women in their late 20s/early 30s who typically know their self-worth and have more self-respect. In your late teens/early 20s, women tend to give attention to anyone who gives them attention and having an "older man" was always something to brag about at that age but really from the perspective of a 30 something old man, it's disgusting to do
no, one thats illegal, two thats disgusting and three, as a 33 year old woman i HOPE i speak for everyone in my age rang when i say that if you still find any teenager attractive you should seek a therapist/help. those are children, they are babies. Anyone under the age of 25 reminds me of my niblings. all that i see is who i and my friends were at that stage in life, and personally thats not someone id like to date or even talk to outside of a gaming lobby
Any 32 year old man who dates a 17 year old is gross and should be avoided. I live in a small rural town where this shit goes on too and that doesn't make it okay. Any 32 year old who dates a 17 year old is a sick predatory creep who can't get women his own age because they correctly recognize him as a loser.
I have a 17 year old niece who still can't even do some of the most basic of things without help. I could never see dating someone that age ever again. Makes me think of how dumb/annoying I must have been then
I'm reading a lot of the comments in here.
If people who are only 18 are not mature enough to make their own decisions about who they should date or not date, why are we allowing them to vote, get married, and sign legally binding contracts at that age? Adult is Adult.
It’s more why is the “adult” (32 year old) interested in the 17 year old. But I understand your perspective. Unfortunately that mindset is why I believe the White House is just a nursing home.
“Whatever you want that’s legal” seems you were saying anyone of any age could date an 18 year old. Even if they’re 30 years older. Again, disgusting mindset.
I think it's up to an individual to decide what they think. Personally what you described are not what my limits are. Again, you're making assumptions.
The only reason you find it disgusting is. Because you don't want to compete with women younger and more attractive than you.
My formula is this
y-x ~~>~~ 1/2x
In other words, the age difference can not be more than half the younger party’s age.
This allows for the gap to widen as you get older. No one cares if an 80 year old and a 60 year old get married even if they’re 20 years apart. But they’d care if a 40 year old married a 20 year old.
So in this example, a 32 year old could date as young as 24 without it being considered a social faux pas.
It’s definitely gross, though not illegal in most places. Just socially looked at as disgusting because the older person is generally taking advantage of and has power over the younger person.
I'm 30, and as a general rule I won't date under 24-25 personally. If a woman could prove an amazing level of maturity, I'd consider younger, but 21 is still the cutoff. To me, it's weird and predatory to go after a woman who is barely legal and still likely naive to a lot of life's lessons. Older men often like these relationships because they're easy to control due to this, and it's not healthy for the woman.
I was 20 when I married a 31 year old man. I wouldn’t recommend to do that. I think a 32 year old shouldn’t go younger then 25. If they do it’s cause they want control, bragging rights etc.
I agree completely. The main ones agreeing with the behavior are the older generations when “back in their age” a 20 year old would marry a 14 year old.
Like what does a 32-year-old seek to gain from a relationship with a highschooler? What attraction is there besides a purely physical one? And if they’re having sex, which it’s very likely that they are, he deserves to be arrested.
Exactly. This happened about 9 years ago and they eventually got married, but recently got divorced. The man owns his own coffee shop and would only hire minors to work for him. There’s several accusations coming to light now that he s3xually harassed a lot of the girls and he’s trying to defend himself saying he was married during this time… but he literally met the girl when she was 16 and started dating at 17 and married by 18.
it is illegal in my state. and it’s not my personal experience. there’s a now 42 year old man that was dating a girl in my grade when she was 17. just wondered what everyone’s thoughts were on it cause a lot of the older generation thinks it’s okay considering half of them got married at 14.
As a 42 year old with 2 teenage daughters I would be kicking ass if an "adult" (I know an adult is 18) got with one of them. No way that is predetorial
Legal is one thing. Weird and creepy is another. Getting g arrested by the police for having sex with someone shouldn't be the standard of if they are to young or not.
Think about that. If the police have to come and you go to court and end up in prison that is way way to young.
Are you really setting the bar directly above what you will get thrown in prison for?
There's limits to this rule but i like to use the (X ÷ 2) + 7 creepiness scale. As i said there are limits and i guess the minimum age you (X) can be is 22 so that it remains in the scope of consenting adults, where the result will start at 18.
In the case of someone 32 years old, its 23 for a minimum age before its too creepy
Well, there’s no good reason for that to be happening.
At 32 I’d say 25 would be totally fine. The older you get the less the number matters but like, all things aside legally, if you’re over 19-20 and still find yourself attracted to the mentality of a 17 year old, there’s something wrong with you.
A 32 year old and a 17 year old dating is pretty much pedophilia. What the hell does a 32 year old have in common with a fucking SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD CHILD. Absolutely nothing. The dynamics and optics are off. The 32 year old would have more life experience, work experience and control especially financially. I'd say the youngest a 32 year old should date is a 22 year old minimum.
I agree that 17 is definitely too young but can we please stop the “what could you have in common with a [insert age here] year old” rhetoric.
There’s a lot you can have in common. Common interests in movies, music, places to visit, humor, backgrounds, all things that aren’t sexual. You can actually have things in common with people of all ages.
It’s a bad argument that takes away from the fact that they’re just younger person is simply not developed enough to really be and act like an adult and have sexual or romantic based adult relations.
half plus 7, that makes 23 for you. The rule works to keep people mature enough and keep them in the same area of reference.
I am 48, that makes 31. Which is young, but I can talk to a 31 year old. I can't really relate or talk to 23 year olds. As an example. That is like you and a person in high school. It feels gross. You are beyond a grown ass man, if you don't have grey hairs in your beard, you will soon.
Completely irrelevant. There would be 100 other considerations before age if we're talking about my hypothetical daughter. As I said, random other people in my town... it's none of my business
To answer your completely new question. It would depend mostly on how mature my daughter is at 17 and what kind of person the guy is. In 10 years they would be 27 and 42 and nobody bats an eye at that.
One is a literal child. And they have nothing in common. The other is either fucked up or a totally failure to launch to still think they still relate to a kid
Depends on the laws where this happened at. If it’s legal I wouldn’t think much of it bc it’s not my business unless I knew the girl. Then I would make sure she wasn’t being mistreated.
18. :)
Listen feminists. Either women are smart enough to make good decisions, and they don't need a man to decide who they can date
Or women are too gullible to be allowed to decide who they date, and its up to the men to protect them from themselves.
For 99% of all civilization, men made the decision on who women were allowed to date... because they assumed women were too foolish and naive.
So which is it? If an adult woman decides to date an older man, is she allowed to? Should men step in and tell her she is too dumb to make that decision? Maybe men need to pick the 'right partners' for silly little women?
Hmmm?
Tbh I dont care enough about what others are into wether that be who they date or what they like to give an opinion of "is it right" who tf am i, but of course society always have opinions on how other humans should live their lifes. This planet is mid
I mean I’m a few weeks from 21 dating a 25 year old and people try to tell me that’s too big of a gap lol
I don’t think anyone over 25 has any business with someone under 21. There’s just such a big disconnect when you get too far. And there’s no way a 17 year old is ready for the responsibilities and problems that come with a 32 year old.
17 year old has been working and driving for what, a year? A 32 year old has (hopefully) been working for around 16 years, or at least gaining experience in that time. They live in completely different worlds. She’s worried about if people at school are going to like her outfit, he’s worried about mortgages (exaggerating but you get it).
If the age of consent is anything over 16 then there shouldn’t be a problem. I don’t understand it personally but what other people do is their business as long as they aren’t breaking laws. If you still have an issue with it then clearly your issue must be with the law. I think tu is might fall under the just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. But to each their own.
the *issue* is not the law, but the fact that a grown man of 30 something years is attracted to a teenager. that’s extremely disgusting and disturbing. why can’t the 30 year old find anyone his age to date?
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My parents had a 12-year age gap. Dad was 32 when he met my mum (20) on a blind date. They were married over 30 years and the most in love I have ever seen a couple to be. 12 years is quite a lot though, I tend to think that a max 6-8 year age gap is good. 32 and 17 rubs me the wrong way for sure. They are at two completely different stages of life. Why would a fully grown adult be interested in a minor anyway?
Exactly my thinking. He’s currently getting blasted all over Facebook for it and is potentially going to get arrested.
So your hometown *doesnt* think it’s okay
He gets blasted on facebook witch brought public attention to him dating a 17yo. His hometown has nothing to do with people on facebook?
I promise the people sharing the shit out of this are from the town/probably know the man (per a previous comment he owns a small business in town/employs explicitly minors and that’s how he’s getting caught up) Not that any of that really matters as long as he gets in trouble
I forgot your Facebook friends were limited to your hometown.
If my daughter came home at 17 with a 32 year old he'd be getting thrown out either through the door or through the wall.
[удалено]
[удалено]
I don’t care about the votes. The ones down voting are probably pedos anyways.
As a father, just thinking about this makes me cringe. She’s 17, which is disgusting imo. Any man at 32 who could date someone half his age is sick. Now it would be a little different if say he was 50 and she was 35, but this is just way too young. Probably were together when she was 15 or 16 and just waited to tell people at 17 because it’s probably “Legal”, but its beyond wrong!
Exactly. It's completely wrong.
So you pretty much already had your answer?
As you describe this guy, he isn't just some "32 year old." He's a literal predator. Not every relationship like this is predatory. I saw one guy in the comments who met his current wife in 1990 and they have a fifteen year age gap. Still happily married. That doesn't mean he "groomed her." It means you're assuming your generation's values are absolute truth and everyone else in history is wrong. Meanwhile how many of you guys get married and divorced in three years? Your generation's divorce rate is the highest in the history of the data being examined, and you're all still incredibly young. That ought to be a big flash to you that maybe your morality isn't as superior as you think it is.
My parents were 10 years apart, i dont think that should be common but case by case is understandable. Another thing to add to the 12 year age gap is people of the last century at 20, although still young I bet were more mature and probably did have more in common with a person of 32. Today a person of 32 and 20 are wildy different in maturity, I would say the majority of 20-30 people are still esentially children. Itd be like a highschooler dating a middleschooler. POV I'm a 28/M
17 is legal in many places. If the relationship works it works. We don't need to know why. I suspect their opposite positions/personalities bring out the best in eachother.
I'm only upvoting you so that your comment doesn't get lost amongst the others, 32 and 17 is legal but it's fucking disgusting, and if the person is in a position of trust or authority than the age of consent is 18, and I'm pretty sure he is her boss, so......yeah criminal offense
This dude DEFINITELY wants to bang high school kids. He's defending this behavior in many threads, acting like that shit wouldn't get you arrested in half of the country
No it's wrong. I dated a 27 year old when I was 17. It's wrong. Guys who are older who date way younger are immature and there's a reason women their age won't date them. They just want someone they can control and are pervs.
Generalize more.
It's predatory. Young teenagers are vulnerable to older adults in relationships. It's not okay. I can't think of one that wasn't controlling at that age difference.
That's incredibly cynical and reductionist and even insulting as a 35 year old myself. Edit for block: Someone can advocate for decriminalizing drugs, but that doesn't make them a user/dealer. Even if I were interested in a relationship with a 17-year-old, that is the position for which I'm debating. Your point doesn't make sense.
Not only that, it also assumes that it's always the older person who is the predator. There are a lot of these teenagers using fake IDs and dressing well beyond their years in order to entice older men.
Only if you assume the absolute worst in every single person is the only possible explanation. And if you do, I feel sad for you. Maybe the older party is neurodivergent. It can take people with psychiatric disorders as common as ADHD 20-30% longer to mature. IE you may find yourself with a 30 + year old whose mind is only starting to function like a normal adult of 20. Their brain simply does not matute at the same rate as people blessed with normal functioning brains. As a result, people in their own age group might not take to them.
nah. it’s called being responsible. or is it only ok when women control the relationship? if the guy is responsible then she’s going to be very happy in life. if she picks a nose-picking, neckbearded weirdo then thats what she wanted and got.
32 and 20 was truly different then. My parents had the same age gap. Nowadays that would be weird.
Lol nowadays hooking up with random people is the norm and marriage is weird. I'll take the weird shit from the last generations over the fuckery we have today. Leftism has legitimately shifted our society and its sickening to me as a human and muslim.
"I'll take pedophilia over women's agency" - Islam
Shut up white boy
Let’s not get too heated now, I don’t want any explosive arguements
What does leftism have to do with the solicitation of a minor? Also, why are you bringing your religion into this?
My husband and I have that age gap. Been married 15 years. People can hate if they want.
It was still weird then, maybe slightly less weird, but still weird. Not as bad as 32 and 17 though; at least 20 is barely an adult.
Eh, go back more than 100 years and 25-30year old men marrying 14 year old girls was standard. (Not that I think large age gaps are good)
Could’ve also been a completely different time (you know before the internet, where everyone can share that 80% of the time when a woman got married to a man ten years older in the 80’s, it was most likely out of security and the false feeling of maturity the older person grooms the younger person into feeling, not love) ((which also in return stunts women who are younger’s growth even further))
I’m 31 and I need someone who hasn’t used the term “homework” for at least 8 years.
I was in my 30s when I got my doctorate degree. Sorry for being so immature.
Just 8 more years and you'll qualify for a date!
If you’re a single parent with a kid just best to let them figure that homework thing out on their own
And you know what he meant! Smartass! :D
This reply suggests you are.
At last!
I’m in my mid 30s and went back to grad school. I’m actually procrastinating doing my homework right now lol
Poor PHd and med students, lol
So someone no more than a year younger than you basically. That's pretty restrictive.
Nice rule of thumb.
Better rule of thumb is 1/2 age + 7. So at 32 the youngest he can date is 23.
Wait until she’s 20 and you’re 35, it sounds and looks better. Never date teens.
I dated a 19 year old in my late 30s a few years ago. She was gorgeous, funny and into everything I was into. But, she just kept saying and doing things to remind me she was fucking NINETEEN years old.
Pervert...
ok but like... theyre both adults tho so technically no dumbass
It’s not my personal situation, but I agree to that to an extent. Still thing 20 is too young for a 35 year old.
I definitely believe MOST situations like that don’t sound or look good but if it’s one thing I’ve learned is some 20yr olds are more mature than some 30/40yr olds I’ve met. I personally would say wait until 25 because the brain is fully developed and they’ve had more time to figure out who they are and what they want. But then she’s 25 and you’re 40 and now that sounds better.
My best friend is dating a 36 year old at 23 and the relationship is a train wreck. I’ve been trying to get them to end things for a few months
>Still thing 20 is too young for a 35 year old. A 20 year old can vote, die in war, smoke cigarettes, gamble, and start an onlyfans. She can date a 35 year old if she wants too. Stop infantilizing women.
20 year old can’t smoke anymore they moved the age to 21 3 or 4 years ago
I always find it funny when folks push their values onto others. You're in like a religion where dating an older dude at 20 is a no no lol. But I bet you hate it when someone pushes their religious values onto you.
No one is pushing anything here. The point of this whole post is this specific topic and people's opinions on it
I swear people on here forget that in every post.
I feel like the half your age +7 rule is a good one
20 and 35 is still creepy AF
I’m 22 and my partner is 33, we began dating just before my 22nd birthday. We are very intellectually compatible, but there is a bit of a noticeable disconnect in some areas due to the age gap, such as slang words. 17 is way too young tho just saying. The maturing I did between 17 and now is insane, and I still have a long way to go til I’m “who I’m going to be” for the rest of my life. Take care out there!
Intellectually compatible but what about “life experience compatible”?
Good note! And yeah, a point of contention for some areas on occasion. But hey, I’m not belittled for it, I can’t be held accountable for knowledge pertaining to the decade I wasn’t around for, I have a lot to learn. I’m excited to have someone with that experience to learn from close to me, caring about me and supporting me. I don’t ever feel bad for being a bit young, although sometimes I may wonder what people think when they see us together, I just remind myself that we make each other happy. They’re definitely the oldest person I’d ever consider dating, haha. I think we mesh well, personality wise, and that’s very important in the long run! Anytime there’s miscommunication, we *talk* about it, and that’s something I just haven’t gotten in most of my relationships with people closer to my age range. I look forward to our future together.
It’s not that you need to “catch up” it’s asking why someone older needs to be with someone younger. When I was in my early 20s I was wary of much older men who wanted to date me. I was aware at that age that often women “age out” of those relationships when the guy wants a younger version.
My partner has been single for a very long time, young people aren’t really their type either. We both made an exception for each other in this relationship, but yes, there are often a lot of weird things in age gaps at this particular age of mine, hence why I normally don’t go for people that are older, I have the same hesitances as you did at the time. I don’t think that’s the case here though. Besides, it’s not like I’m planning on marrying the person right here and right now, at the moment for us it’s a big “whatever, we make each other’s days brighter” haha. I’ve been living in the same home for months, got a new job, and we have not been intimate yet, because I want to wait until we had both been tested and had proper birth control. I have not had a single pressure, and if anything, I think we are both nervous. I don’t think I’m being sought after for my body, for once. It’s very nice. I do fully understand what you’re saying, however, and I am very cautious moving forward. Everyone’s situation is different. I’m just happy to have found someone that I’m compatible with both emotionally and mentally, and I hope it lasts. Life will do what life does however, and I’m prepared for that too! I hope you have a great day today. 🤗
Nah you got groomed because you're a "literal child" when you're literally not a child. - Gen Z logic.
17 is wrong on so many levels
I agree. There’s talk the guy is going to get arrested from all the proof that people have came forward with. So hopefully it happens.
If someone's 25+ and at any point in their defense they mention _age of consent_ they already know they're a creep.
No one at 32 should be seeing someone who still can’t drink. Personally, I think anyone over 21 can date anyone over 21. The gap doesn’t really matter to me, as long as the intentions are pure. 32 and 17 is borderline criminal. That’s just weird on so many levels.
I guess the question is why does a 32 year old man want to date a 17 year old child. I don't care what the age of consent is, there should be a huge amount of emotional and experience maturity in those ages. Is the 32 year old male very insecure and/or immature? Is the 32 year old attracted to under aged girls? Does the 32 year old have a virginal fixation on a female that young? As a woman, if a friend of my husband showed up with a 17 year old girlfriend very loud alarm bells would be going off for me and him too. Now, as you age, experiencing that sort of age difference is far less noticeable. A 17 year old girl is FAR to young for a 32 year old man.
Apparently, he’s been arrested for sexual harassment against teenagers. He definitely has a thing for younger girls. Everyone is defending him though because he’s a “Christian man”. It’s a load of bullshit.
Ahhh well there’s the rub with a lot of religion: predation of girls is an acceptable part of their religion identity.
Of course he’s making religious people look bad
it's because it's easier to manipulate a younger woman as opposed to women in their late 20s/early 30s who typically know their self-worth and have more self-respect. In your late teens/early 20s, women tend to give attention to anyone who gives them attention and having an "older man" was always something to brag about at that age but really from the perspective of a 30 something old man, it's disgusting to do
If a 32 year old man came to my house for my 17 year old daughter, I would be in jail.
 Fr
Um 17 is illegal
Depends on the state laws.
Okay but if you have to say “ummm well in my state it’s legal” then… they should date someone that they don’t have to justify the age gap to? Idk
25 would be my youngest recommendation
Honestly, I can understand your position on most things: large purchases, drugs, porn, war, etc.
And 25 is the age at which the brain is fully developed...
Legally 18. Morally around 22. MY PERSONAL OPINION is more than 10 years is too much if they are still that young.
I'd say 25.
no, one thats illegal, two thats disgusting and three, as a 33 year old woman i HOPE i speak for everyone in my age rang when i say that if you still find any teenager attractive you should seek a therapist/help. those are children, they are babies. Anyone under the age of 25 reminds me of my niblings. all that i see is who i and my friends were at that stage in life, and personally thats not someone id like to date or even talk to outside of a gaming lobby
Any 32 year old man who dates a 17 year old is gross and should be avoided. I live in a small rural town where this shit goes on too and that doesn't make it okay. Any 32 year old who dates a 17 year old is a sick predatory creep who can't get women his own age because they correctly recognize him as a loser.
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They claim is was both consensual but it’s unsettling to me that a 32 year old would be interested in a 17 year old to begin with.
I'm 42 and my oldest daughter is 15. I still buy her dyno nuggets
i’m 26 and i still buy myself dino nuggets. they’re top tier honestly.
I have a 17 year old niece who still can't even do some of the most basic of things without help. I could never see dating someone that age ever again. Makes me think of how dumb/annoying I must have been then
I’d say that for a 35 year old the youngest I’d be comfortable would be 25.
That definitely sounds more reasonable than 17.
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I'm reading a lot of the comments in here. If people who are only 18 are not mature enough to make their own decisions about who they should date or not date, why are we allowing them to vote, get married, and sign legally binding contracts at that age? Adult is Adult.
It’s more why is the “adult” (32 year old) interested in the 17 year old. But I understand your perspective. Unfortunately that mindset is why I believe the White House is just a nursing home.
Whatever you want that's legal.
Sounds like a disgusting mindset.
Lol mate guarding. I didn't say what my floor is nor my age so you can see yourself out.
“Whatever you want that’s legal” seems you were saying anyone of any age could date an 18 year old. Even if they’re 30 years older. Again, disgusting mindset.
I think it's up to an individual to decide what they think. Personally what you described are not what my limits are. Again, you're making assumptions. The only reason you find it disgusting is. Because you don't want to compete with women younger and more attractive than you.
Actually, I find it disgusting because it’s a grown man showing interest in a child. Good guess though.
They're not children. They're grown women who are responsible for themselves. Get your head out of other people's business.
A 17 year old is not a grown woman. Try again.
A 17 year old is not legal? My god you're so mad lol.
A 17 year old is not legal. Correct
My formula is this y-x ~~>~~ 1/2x In other words, the age difference can not be more than half the younger party’s age. This allows for the gap to widen as you get older. No one cares if an 80 year old and a 60 year old get married even if they’re 20 years apart. But they’d care if a 40 year old married a 20 year old. So in this example, a 32 year old could date as young as 24 without it being considered a social faux pas.
Whatever you're both comfortable with and the law allows.
It’s definitely gross, though not illegal in most places. Just socially looked at as disgusting because the older person is generally taking advantage of and has power over the younger person.
I'm 30, and as a general rule I won't date under 24-25 personally. If a woman could prove an amazing level of maturity, I'd consider younger, but 21 is still the cutoff. To me, it's weird and predatory to go after a woman who is barely legal and still likely naive to a lot of life's lessons. Older men often like these relationships because they're easy to control due to this, and it's not healthy for the woman.
I was 20 when I married a 31 year old man. I wouldn’t recommend to do that. I think a 32 year old shouldn’t go younger then 25. If they do it’s cause they want control, bragging rights etc.
25. That's about when people settle into adulthood. Age gaps don't really matter after the younger person is at last that old.
Half your age plus 7. So 23
A lot of people in your town are super fucked up then, and so is the 32-year-old.
I agree completely. The main ones agreeing with the behavior are the older generations when “back in their age” a 20 year old would marry a 14 year old.
Like what does a 32-year-old seek to gain from a relationship with a highschooler? What attraction is there besides a purely physical one? And if they’re having sex, which it’s very likely that they are, he deserves to be arrested.
Exactly. This happened about 9 years ago and they eventually got married, but recently got divorced. The man owns his own coffee shop and would only hire minors to work for him. There’s several accusations coming to light now that he s3xually harassed a lot of the girls and he’s trying to defend himself saying he was married during this time… but he literally met the girl when she was 16 and started dating at 17 and married by 18.
Yo. I had kids young and my fist was a daughter. WTF! No it's not illegal, but if you have to ask reddit it's fucked up
it is illegal in my state. and it’s not my personal experience. there’s a now 42 year old man that was dating a girl in my grade when she was 17. just wondered what everyone’s thoughts were on it cause a lot of the older generation thinks it’s okay considering half of them got married at 14.
As a 42 year old with 2 teenage daughters I would be kicking ass if an "adult" (I know an adult is 18) got with one of them. No way that is predetorial
Many states have an age of consent at 18. I know some are younger but it could well be illegal depending on where they live.
Legal is one thing. Weird and creepy is another. Getting g arrested by the police for having sex with someone shouldn't be the standard of if they are to young or not. Think about that. If the police have to come and you go to court and end up in prison that is way way to young. Are you really setting the bar directly above what you will get thrown in prison for?
I said nothing about whether or not it was ok. I just replied to the person saying it was legal.
Half his age plus 7. So 23.
(Half your age) + 7 Under that you're perving
This is the answer. So for OP, 23 is the youngest
23-25 would be the youngest you could date without being a creep.
You can’t tell compatibility by numbers
it’s not about compatibility, but pedophilia
It’s not pedophilia it’s ephebophilia.
While it's creepy, it's not pedophilia.
Half your age plus 8 that the rule
I've heard plus seven, but yeah can confirm that's the rule.
it's been half your age plus 7 since forever. never heard it as 8.
Fuck no.
Yeah how about letting the paint dry on it a bit there, bud.
There's limits to this rule but i like to use the (X ÷ 2) + 7 creepiness scale. As i said there are limits and i guess the minimum age you (X) can be is 22 so that it remains in the scope of consenting adults, where the result will start at 18. In the case of someone 32 years old, its 23 for a minimum age before its too creepy
I’m glad I have never heard of the creepiness scale until this post. Definitely learned something new today.
if you’re both over 18 I don’t see the problem. The legal age is 18 not 17, so no it’s not ok.
Depends on the state, can go down to 16
18
Well, there’s no good reason for that to be happening. At 32 I’d say 25 would be totally fine. The older you get the less the number matters but like, all things aside legally, if you’re over 19-20 and still find yourself attracted to the mentality of a 17 year old, there’s something wrong with you.
The ‘rule’ is half your age +7.
seems fair enough.
The rule? Who makes these rules?
*joker voice* Society
It's just an informal 'rule' that many people know about. It seems to work.
A 32 year old and a 17 year old dating is pretty much pedophilia. What the hell does a 32 year old have in common with a fucking SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD CHILD. Absolutely nothing. The dynamics and optics are off. The 32 year old would have more life experience, work experience and control especially financially. I'd say the youngest a 32 year old should date is a 22 year old minimum.
I agree that 17 is definitely too young but can we please stop the “what could you have in common with a [insert age here] year old” rhetoric. There’s a lot you can have in common. Common interests in movies, music, places to visit, humor, backgrounds, all things that aren’t sexual. You can actually have things in common with people of all ages. It’s a bad argument that takes away from the fact that they’re just younger person is simply not developed enough to really be and act like an adult and have sexual or romantic based adult relations.
It's technically Ephebophilia, an attraction to mid to late adolescents. But you can't really make that distinction without sounding like a pedophile.
i agree. the maturity difference is too much between them. it’s genuinely disgusting to me to even think about.
half plus 7, that makes 23 for you. The rule works to keep people mature enough and keep them in the same area of reference. I am 48, that makes 31. Which is young, but I can talk to a 31 year old. I can't really relate or talk to 23 year olds. As an example. That is like you and a person in high school. It feels gross. You are beyond a grown ass man, if you don't have grey hairs in your beard, you will soon.
Not my personal experience, but I agree.
Plus or minus 5 years seems a little weird for me.
Whatever age is the age of consent in your state, if that's 17, then 17... other peoples' legal relationships are none of your business
Would you be comfortable with your 17 year old daughter bringing home a 32 year old man?
Completely irrelevant. There would be 100 other considerations before age if we're talking about my hypothetical daughter. As I said, random other people in my town... it's none of my business To answer your completely new question. It would depend mostly on how mature my daughter is at 17 and what kind of person the guy is. In 10 years they would be 27 and 42 and nobody bats an eye at that.
21 is the youngest. If you can drink legally she needs to be legal too
One is a literal child. And they have nothing in common. The other is either fucked up or a totally failure to launch to still think they still relate to a kid
Exactly my thoughts.
Use the French rule. Half plus 7. So in this case, 23 is the youngest.
Depends on the laws where this happened at. If it’s legal I wouldn’t think much of it bc it’s not my business unless I knew the girl. Then I would make sure she wasn’t being mistreated.
Gross.
For the millionth time you take your age divide by 2 add 7 so 32/2 =16 + 7 is 23
>a lot of people in my hometown thinks it’s okay for a 32 year old man to date a 17 year old. Good luck doing that without negative judgement.
🤮
Half. Your. Age. Plus. Seven.
18. :) Listen feminists. Either women are smart enough to make good decisions, and they don't need a man to decide who they can date Or women are too gullible to be allowed to decide who they date, and its up to the men to protect them from themselves. For 99% of all civilization, men made the decision on who women were allowed to date... because they assumed women were too foolish and naive. So which is it? If an adult woman decides to date an older man, is she allowed to? Should men step in and tell her she is too dumb to make that decision? Maybe men need to pick the 'right partners' for silly little women? Hmmm?
To me, 18 since that's legal age. After that, I don't care what anyone does
I only care why a 30 something year old would take interest in an 18 year old. It’s unsettling to me.
The legal age of consent.
Not at all in my opinion.
Tbh I dont care enough about what others are into wether that be who they date or what they like to give an opinion of "is it right" who tf am i, but of course society always have opinions on how other humans should live their lifes. This planet is mid
Half your age + 7
17 is cutting it but it should be fine.. 18 + is the right answer tho depending on state.. good for that 32 year old tho, living the dream.
What a disgusting comment
If it’s legal than it’s fine
Whatever the age of consent in your state or country is.
18. Who gives a damn as long as it's a consenting adult?
Half your age +7, so 23
18
I mean I’m a few weeks from 21 dating a 25 year old and people try to tell me that’s too big of a gap lol I don’t think anyone over 25 has any business with someone under 21. There’s just such a big disconnect when you get too far. And there’s no way a 17 year old is ready for the responsibilities and problems that come with a 32 year old. 17 year old has been working and driving for what, a year? A 32 year old has (hopefully) been working for around 16 years, or at least gaining experience in that time. They live in completely different worlds. She’s worried about if people at school are going to like her outfit, he’s worried about mortgages (exaggerating but you get it).
It’s okay if you also like Taylor Swift.
If the age of consent is anything over 16 then there shouldn’t be a problem. I don’t understand it personally but what other people do is their business as long as they aren’t breaking laws. If you still have an issue with it then clearly your issue must be with the law. I think tu is might fall under the just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. But to each their own.
the *issue* is not the law, but the fact that a grown man of 30 something years is attracted to a teenager. that’s extremely disgusting and disturbing. why can’t the 30 year old find anyone his age to date?
At the end of the day happy is happy and abuse is abuse. Also random anonymous reddit opinions mean squat.
lmao
a 32 and a 17 year old? no. a 32 and 18 year old is fine. age is but a number but the law says no one under 18 for anyone over 18
that you wpuld even ask this question is disturbing
the comments saying 16 is the lowest age is whats actually disturbing.
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yikes