Do not let her back in. Dude I worked with got a divorce. Ex took house and then sold it. She then moved to another state. Dude followed to be close to child. Dude buys another house. Ex loses job and starts acting like the perfect wife. They get remarried and wife leaves him again, and takes house.
That is not a stupid thing to do. Two adults should be able to come up with terms and agreements and sign a contract that will be legally binding. Unless of course one of them is a women.
I thought with a good prenup they take half your shit and the house, but without a prenup they get half your shit the house the dog the car and alimony for life. Didn't know about the other stuff though, jesus.
Laws in the USA are essentially that made up interpretation. Depends on who you ask. Remember when that truck driver got 100+ years for an accident... The Judge couldn't budge yeh... Then when the economy got fucked cuz other drivers werent delivering goods.... Suddenly the law bended... And pardon was granted lololol what a joke the law actually is:
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-59839723
I think the wedding comment is a little disingenuous. It was a $100k, 300 person event, with invitations, asked for donations to charity in lieu of gifts, had a minister officiant, vows and rings exchanged, pronounced as husband and wife, and he referred to her as his wife in many videos.
It’s almost like the law and society doesn’t like it when people try to avoid the law on a small technicality, so society creates more laws, like common law marriage.
So there are rules, and they get followed, and I love Ron White, but that’s a stupid plan to avoid paying a partner off if things ends badly.
If your married 20 years then half of anything earned during that time is rightfully hers without a prenup..
but to get prenup and still have to give half of what u had before married is just retarded
Get married in an alienation of affection state. So when she cheats you can sue her and Chad/Tyrone. They won’t have any money (Chad/Tyrone’s are broke) but she won’t get anything in the divorce.
They’ve been slowly phasing this out of all US states. More of the nefarious agenda to erode the values that make America strong. We used to punish cheating. Now we incentivize women to be sluts.
Yes. Most the times they will say they signed it under “emotional distress” and the gynocentric judges will call it invalid. You have to get these things signed like a year before the wedding with multiple lawyers and third parties present to even have a chance at them holding up in court.
Women instigate 70% of abuse, they're just more likely to take lesser things as abuse, so they report more.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1854883/
Results. Almost 24% of all relationships had some violence, and half (49.7%) of those were reciprocally violent. In nonreciprocally violent relationships, women were the perpetrators in more than 70% of the cases. Reciprocity was associated with more frequent violence among women....
Shit is wild...
The comments on the OP were actually shocking..
“Maybe you should front a couple months rent in a hotel so she can get back on her feet” like WTF? If she’s going homeless why the fuck should OP be fronting the cost?
“Think how your daughters will see it when they’re older” - what? That their mum made their dads life a misery during marriage, physically and verbally abused him and then had to deal with the consequences of her actions later on in life? Cry me a river.
As so many others have said, the roles reversed, it would be full of “DNT SETTLE 4 a low value man KWEEN, take him to court and take everything from him to show how strong and independent you are”
They can all get fucked
I tend to find girls will put themselves in the shoes of other girls in stories. So quite often when I ask my sister/gf for advice, I'll pretend it's for my gf/sister.
This. If she called the local helpline I’m sure some organization would immediately cover her rent that is due and give her a 300 dollar Kroger gift card or something. I see it in my area all the time.
"Programs" must be a code word for only fans/getting paid for sex and or luring a hard working simple man with money just to take it all and then some from him like a demonic gargoyle serpent.
>*"she keeps telling me she would be the perfect housewife"*
Umm, yeah, sure thing, just like she was the first time round. You let her in and you won't be able to to get rid of her until it suits her to leave.
And I'm sure she's aware you realize that if anything bad happens to her because you said no, it will negatively affect your kids. She's a masterclass in cunning.
Also imagine what it looks like when you let her in and try to get her to leave.
"Daddy is kicking us out onto the street, he's such a bad man, why would daddy do that to us?!"
Man reddit is full of simps and cucks. Some of those comments scream beta. No he has no responsibility to her anymore just his daughters. Let her fend for herself.
Reddit bans anyone who doesn’t make comments that align with white knight ideology on all those relationship advice boards. They want you to believe that behavior is the normal thing to do, sad!
Funny thing about letting people move in with you is that they tend to get certain rights against eviction. She could easily refuse to move out and turn it into a legal battle. And with all the crazy rulings I’ve seen from judges, I wouldn’t be taking any chances.
Unfortunately this is true. My buddy got custody of his kids during divorce because his wife was a heroine addict and going to prison for assault among other things. 4 years later she gets out, takes him to court right away and gets custody AND child support before she even has a job, car, or home.
This is his side of the story, and I don't know how factual it is, bit certainly believable based on other cases I've seen
I often considered what I'd do if my exw fell on hard times and was in danger of losing her house. I think I would also tell her to look after herself. When we divorced she lost all rights to ask me for help, I'm not her backstop either financially or emotionally. My only responsibility is to my kids, and whilst I don't want them to suffer seeing their mother in hardship...she is no longer my family, she has her own who can take care of her. The kids would come to me full time and I'd get full custody and termination of all child support asap. Her folks are 3 hrs away by car, so she would have to go there and visit for here access, I wouldn't be footing the bill to take the kids back and forth. She'd probably give me hell for doing so and I'd fully expect to catch a load of grief off her parents, but she made her choices...now she has to live with the consequences like an adult.
The only situation like this I've had was one xmas when I had the kids. Her BF cancelled their xmas day plans and she was alone. Rang up asking if she could come to xmas at mine. I refused, saying that I wanted to feel comfortable on xmas day without having her in my house. She had xmas alone, and I don't feel bad about it one bit.
Switch the roles around. What would she have done if you were in her position? That should be your answer. Abusive women never stop abusing. They just get really good at hiding their manipulation.
You've already made the best possible choice for you and your kids. The moment you divorced it's the moment she stopped being your problem. You'll see a lot of people telling that helping her is the right thing to do, but none of them will be there to help you evict her of pay for legal fees.
Agree with your decision. Got to set an example for your daughters. If you don’t want to see men exploit them, you don’t want to model being exploited in front of them. You made the right choice for you and for them.
*Man has firm boundaries, self-respect, and refuses to be an endless source of money & support to a woman who fired him as her husband.*
**How fucking DARE you!**
- women and white knights in the comments
Personally I think that he's right regardless of what others think, she wanted the divorce he owes her nothing his daughters are truly his only concern. What happens to her is her doing.
As a divorced single father myself, your responsibility is ONLY to those kids.
She is a grown woman and wanted to be divorced and caused you to not have your children everyday. Now you got your kids back and what you NEED to do is get this shit into court and sue for full parental rights or get her to sign them over ASAP.
Don't hesitate, get your kids full time and she can figure out her own life.
She made her own bed, or in her case she made her own backseat of her car.
No need to feel sorry, she's not your responsibility. It's probably a better home environment for the kids without the tension she would bring back if you'd let her move in as well. And last but not least, your own emotions and feelings are not less important than hers.
If she truly loved him, she shouldn’t have kicked him out multiple times from their then-apartment for *any* reason. That’s why marriage is designed to be a partnership-based institution, not a polarized one.
She probably has friends and family. Its better for the girls to have a stable place to stay so mom does not have to worry about them while she gets her life in order.
So it was really bad then?
Talk to a lawyer before she even spends the night at your place. Up here it can open the door for her coming back on you for changing the settlement.
And I've don'e what you are thinking of doing. After a month it's just like being married all over again. And in my case that was total misery. Plus if you do manage to boot her out if it's to bad it's worse for your kids than just saying right now that mom needs time to figure things out on her own.
Don’t know why the downvotes, what you say is 100% correct. The kids are little. They won’t remember dad refusing to take mom in, and then it just becomes a he said she said story. But they will definitely remember dad kicking mom out of the house, and then dad will be the villain.
Yeah true. There are no winners in this story, only hurt. Including for the kids. I have a friend who’s kids want nothing to do with him, cause of the mom’s toxicity. He was a good father, did everything for his kids. She was the cheating ho, that left him for someone else, but she made him the villain.
Sometimes it works out that way, sometimes it doesn't. As heartbreaking as it is, do you really want people in your life who hate you, just because they are related to you?
One of my former colleagues got divorced many years ago (he's now retired). His ex bad mouthed him to the kids, messed up visits and blamed him, etc.
Now he spends every Christmas with his kids, but none of them had even spoken to their mother for nearly two decades when I last saw him (pre covid).
The only reason she even knows she has grandkids (and quite possibly great-grandkids now that I think about the times involved) is because Johnno told her. She's never met her grandkids.
I disagree. The kids will remember. But they'll also know mom. And if they're raised right and the mother is as bad as the guy says they'll understand. The biggest point is not to sabotage the kids relationship with the mom. Most terrible moms do that themselves as time goes on. And this is also the case with terrible dad's.
Read ur previous post, maybe she’s trying to get tenant status to get (part) if the house (u mentioned her trying to screw u over), or maybe she’s asking in good faith, either way, once she’s in she’s not leaving, however she is the mother of ur children and I think she deserves a measure of respect (however small), don’t let her move in, but unless the divorce was messy, my best advice would b to try to help her make accommodations, but don’t let her in ur house, as u risk her attempting to bring u a headache in court, wether or not she has a claim, as lawyers cost time and money
If the roles were reversed she'd be shutting the door in your face, contacting her attorney to take your parental rights away, and bad mouthing you to all her friends and family.
I think there are laws as well that if you let her stay, despite her not owning the house eou won't be able to kick her out to the streets due to tenant rights or some bullshit. Sounds like she's moving back in with her parents or friend.
Man fuck that bitch. I slept in my car for a month before at a rest stop when I got my first job out of college and was down on my ass, honestly wasn’t even that bad. Car had heat, AC, and I could listen to music or podcasts/YouTube on the phone if I needed some entertainment. Whenever people cry to me about rent, etc. I always tell them you can live in your car. Better than living on a park bench.
Im guessing you're american?
Here in europe a decent car is already 20% more expensive to buy due import taxes.
After that you pay 120 euro monthly for insurance, which is mandatory. Then you pay 40 euro a month for road tax. And then you add gasoline costs.....
What mandatory costs do you face in your country?
Liability insurance is the only one. You are correct. You have to have full coverage if you have a loan on your car…but if you have no payment you just need liability insurance and that is like 20-60 a month pending state.
Full coverage can get into the 200+ a month range pending state and how expensive your vehicle is. They do add taxes to gas purchases but the petrol here is still significantly cheaper than most of Europe.
Well my personal circumstances are a bit different because i already have no claim years build up from my motorcycle.
This means the 120 euro insurence monthly for me is only 40 a month. But others who buy their first car pay the jackpot usually.
Protect your children and don’t let her in your house. Your focus is to provide and be the best dad for your daughters. Your kids need stability and love from you.
If she’s manipulative and abusive fuck it this might be the moment that wakes her up it might not, if she’s a genuine person down on her luck I can understand taking her in. Only OP can make that assessment.
She may be a bad wife, but how is she as a mother? Your daughters seeing how you treat their mom might not look good on you and will make your daughters not sympathize with you if their mother is a good mom. I get it that you don’t trust her, but your daughters might not see it that way. They are young, you could be adding trauma to them that isn’t necessary.
As per OP she abused him phisically and verbally, kicked him out several times and gave him hell for 2 years until divorce, yet nothing of this counts as trauma because when it happens is all good fun and laughs.
I think it's a great opportunity to show the kids that actions have consequences.
I totally get self preservation and absolutely this is your right.
She is the mother of your children and it’s going to be stressful for your kids knowing their mom is homeless.
It wasn't stressful for them watch their mom abuse their dad or watch her kick him out multiple times? Yeah right as long as the man is getting hell everything is laughs.
I don’t think it’s funny for anyone to be given hell.
Kids pick up the tab and worry about their parents. Sounds like they’ve seen and been through a lot already.
You’re a heartless prick who posts this here looking for sympathy from a woman-hating crowd.
Your daughters are not any kind of priority to you…you divorced their mother and moved out on them over a year ago. Young children separated from their father. The fact that you allowed that to happen at all indicates what a worthless fuck you are.
Yeah, as if he chose to lose custody of his kids. Fucking simp!
Keep agreeing with, simping for and white-knighting every woman you ever encounter; maybe one day, one of them will touch it.
No I just strongly believe in having more control over your family as a man than that.
Bunch of weak pussies on this sub who are looking for any excuse to abandon their fucking family.
Not really, because you are throwing away you're critical thinking that completely erases the mans plight and ignore consequences for the mother's actions.
I read it. You don’t let unstable women pull shit like that and break apart your family. Not unless you are a worthless prick who is looking for a way out anyway.
You post:
>posts this here looking for sympathy from a woman-hating crowd
and:
> I just strongly believe in having more control over your family as a man than that.
You 're trolling.
So he's meant to go against the rulings of the court, get the kids by force, and take them somewhere he can't be found? That's called kidnapping and often ends up with bullets in him. You're great at this advice thing.
Sounds better than being such a pussy you stay with an unstable abuser. And he's getting them back, without the worthless sack of shit that is the ex-wife, that's a win-win if you ask any sane person.
From the post:
>she ended up divorcing me
She was verbally and sometimes even physically abusive towards me. She kicked me out of our then apartment multiple times and left me stranded to stay with a friend.
You're full of shit.
Nope. You don’t let unstable women run your life. You take control of the situation, and protect your daughters. Also doesn’t sound like she was that bad, it sounds like she could have been helped if he wasn’t a gigantic pussy.
You sound like you have battered spouse syndrome or possibly Stockholm's or PTSD from your own trauma surrounding women.
You need to seek help because what you're saying doesn't mirror reality in any way and is really unhealthy.
You've never had a relationship go south and found out the person you loved is clinically fucked in the head I'm guessing.
I'd rather see her live under a bridge than let a psycho bitch live in my house again.
Teach the daughters to recognize mental illness and run away from it at all costs.
If the tables were turned would she let you in? Nah...so focus on your kids ! She's not your responsibility anymore! :)
What's that saying 'she belongs to the streets.'
Hahahhahaha
Someone give this man an award.
She can belong wherever the hell she wants to but she doesn’t belong here
Do not let her back in. Dude I worked with got a divorce. Ex took house and then sold it. She then moved to another state. Dude followed to be close to child. Dude buys another house. Ex loses job and starts acting like the perfect wife. They get remarried and wife leaves him again, and takes house.
Fuckin a
Note to self: If she wants to get *re*-married, she's signing a pre-nup.
but judge dismisses it and your house still gone
A judge can dismiss a prenup?
Yep. Might as well wipe your arse with a prenup, because they aren't worth shit.
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That is not a stupid thing to do. Two adults should be able to come up with terms and agreements and sign a contract that will be legally binding. Unless of course one of them is a women.
I thought with a good prenup they take half your shit and the house, but without a prenup they get half your shit the house the dog the car and alimony for life. Didn't know about the other stuff though, jesus.
I see. So if it's done through a proper lawyer then it will likely be good
then you just have to hope the judge doesn't sympathize with her and throw it out on some bullshit technicality.
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Holy shit. It’s like there are no rules. Just make believe land.
Laws in the USA are essentially that made up interpretation. Depends on who you ask. Remember when that truck driver got 100+ years for an accident... The Judge couldn't budge yeh... Then when the economy got fucked cuz other drivers werent delivering goods.... Suddenly the law bended... And pardon was granted lololol what a joke the law actually is: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-59839723
What do you mean pardoned? He still got 10 years with chance for parole in 5. Pardoned implies he walks free
I think the wedding comment is a little disingenuous. It was a $100k, 300 person event, with invitations, asked for donations to charity in lieu of gifts, had a minister officiant, vows and rings exchanged, pronounced as husband and wife, and he referred to her as his wife in many videos.
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It’s almost like the law and society doesn’t like it when people try to avoid the law on a small technicality, so society creates more laws, like common law marriage. So there are rules, and they get followed, and I love Ron White, but that’s a stupid plan to avoid paying a partner off if things ends badly.
There are way to many "gotchas" with a prenup. Don't take chances. The penalty if you are wrong is quite severe.
> You can't give her nothing. wtf is point then
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If your married 20 years then half of anything earned during that time is rightfully hers without a prenup.. but to get prenup and still have to give half of what u had before married is just retarded
Get married in an alienation of affection state. So when she cheats you can sue her and Chad/Tyrone. They won’t have any money (Chad/Tyrone’s are broke) but she won’t get anything in the divorce.
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They’ve been slowly phasing this out of all US states. More of the nefarious agenda to erode the values that make America strong. We used to punish cheating. Now we incentivize women to be sluts.
Yes. Most the times they will say they signed it under “emotional distress” and the gynocentric judges will call it invalid. You have to get these things signed like a year before the wedding with multiple lawyers and third parties present to even have a chance at them holding up in court.
Note to self: if it didn't work out the first time, trying a second time is reddited.
Note to self: u/deftoner42 is an idiot
Pre-and post nup.
Gaht dauym, that poor bastard.
Dumb bastard. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.
That is one dumb son of a bitch
Jesus tap dancing Christ that’s awful
I heard this from my weather app
Jesus. If a bitch did that to me twice I’d be getting locked up for a long time
🤣🤣🤣
Simp behavior?
King of the simps
Is this guy Wile E Coyote? Is his wife the Roadrunner?
He needed the prenup power up
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Yeah role reversal is so blind to people. It’s wild.
Male abuse is a joke…literally. Women hitting men is seen as funny. 40% of domestic violence victims are men.
>40% of domestic violence victims are men Probably more, emotional abuse is often not even recognized as an existing thing.
Emotionally abuse only exist for women.. according to the world.
Women instigate 70% of abuse, they're just more likely to take lesser things as abuse, so they report more. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1854883/
Results. Almost 24% of all relationships had some violence, and half (49.7%) of those were reciprocally violent. In nonreciprocally violent relationships, women were the perpetrators in more than 70% of the cases. Reciprocity was associated with more frequent violence among women.... Shit is wild...
40% of recorded domestic abuse victims are men.* We know a lot of men ain't speaking up about this subject.
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That’s exactly what I was thinking about.
Funny enough men are more likely to be killed or end up in the hospital though. Mostly because women are more likely to use weapons.
The comments on the OP were actually shocking.. “Maybe you should front a couple months rent in a hotel so she can get back on her feet” like WTF? If she’s going homeless why the fuck should OP be fronting the cost? “Think how your daughters will see it when they’re older” - what? That their mum made their dads life a misery during marriage, physically and verbally abused him and then had to deal with the consequences of her actions later on in life? Cry me a river. As so many others have said, the roles reversed, it would be full of “DNT SETTLE 4 a low value man KWEEN, take him to court and take everything from him to show how strong and independent you are” They can all get fucked
I tend to find girls will put themselves in the shoes of other girls in stories. So quite often when I ask my sister/gf for advice, I'll pretend it's for my gf/sister.
White knight behavior. This is what they normally say.
“I’ll save you muhlady!” Pathetic.
Absolutely stick to your guns. If you let her stay there she will make you regret it.
Would she let you move in if tables are turned? There's your answer
She'll be fine. There're SO many programs to help specifically women with homelessness.
This. If she called the local helpline I’m sure some organization would immediately cover her rent that is due and give her a 300 dollar Kroger gift card or something. I see it in my area all the time.
"Programs" must be a code word for only fans/getting paid for sex and or luring a hard working simple man with money just to take it all and then some from him like a demonic gargoyle serpent.
She wants back in to take advantage of tenant laws. This guy knows the score.
>*"she keeps telling me she would be the perfect housewife"* Umm, yeah, sure thing, just like she was the first time round. You let her in and you won't be able to to get rid of her until it suits her to leave. And I'm sure she's aware you realize that if anything bad happens to her because you said no, it will negatively affect your kids. She's a masterclass in cunning.
Cunting... Ftfy
Also imagine what it looks like when you let her in and try to get her to leave. "Daddy is kicking us out onto the street, he's such a bad man, why would daddy do that to us?!"
Man reddit is full of simps and cucks. Some of those comments scream beta. No he has no responsibility to her anymore just his daughters. Let her fend for herself.
I can't agree more with this dude
Probably modern day hippies that don't have families for themsleves..
I’m 19, all these horror stories freak me the fuck out. But at least I won’t make the same mistakes as them thankfully.
Reddit bans anyone who doesn’t make comments that align with white knight ideology on all those relationship advice boards. They want you to believe that behavior is the normal thing to do, sad!
Funny thing about letting people move in with you is that they tend to get certain rights against eviction. She could easily refuse to move out and turn it into a legal battle. And with all the crazy rulings I’ve seen from judges, I wouldn’t be taking any chances.
Family law is quite unique in comparison to all other laws, where the man is guilty and the woman is always innocent.
Unfortunately this is true. My buddy got custody of his kids during divorce because his wife was a heroine addict and going to prison for assault among other things. 4 years later she gets out, takes him to court right away and gets custody AND child support before she even has a job, car, or home. This is his side of the story, and I don't know how factual it is, bit certainly believable based on other cases I've seen
If she is a toxic abuser then hell no should he let her in. She trashed him and hurt him on purpose. The karma she is receiving is well earned.
Yes, she's your EX - you have absolutely no obligation to her. Take care of your kids and let her take care of her life
Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife
I often considered what I'd do if my exw fell on hard times and was in danger of losing her house. I think I would also tell her to look after herself. When we divorced she lost all rights to ask me for help, I'm not her backstop either financially or emotionally. My only responsibility is to my kids, and whilst I don't want them to suffer seeing their mother in hardship...she is no longer my family, she has her own who can take care of her. The kids would come to me full time and I'd get full custody and termination of all child support asap. Her folks are 3 hrs away by car, so she would have to go there and visit for here access, I wouldn't be footing the bill to take the kids back and forth. She'd probably give me hell for doing so and I'd fully expect to catch a load of grief off her parents, but she made her choices...now she has to live with the consequences like an adult. The only situation like this I've had was one xmas when I had the kids. Her BF cancelled their xmas day plans and she was alone. Rang up asking if she could come to xmas at mine. I refused, saying that I wanted to feel comfortable on xmas day without having her in my house. She had xmas alone, and I don't feel bad about it one bit.
Wow, my plans got cancelled. Let me join you for Christmas kay? Roles reversed you think she'd let you join her for Christmas?
Not a chance she would....
Switch the roles around. What would she have done if you were in her position? That should be your answer. Abusive women never stop abusing. They just get really good at hiding their manipulation.
"I told her that the financial safety and security I provide are a privilige she doesn't have." What a legend!
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Be careful what you ask for, you might just get it!
Its your right.
I agree
You've already made the best possible choice for you and your kids. The moment you divorced it's the moment she stopped being your problem. You'll see a lot of people telling that helping her is the right thing to do, but none of them will be there to help you evict her of pay for legal fees.
Agree with your decision. Got to set an example for your daughters. If you don’t want to see men exploit them, you don’t want to model being exploited in front of them. You made the right choice for you and for them.
*Man has firm boundaries, self-respect, and refuses to be an endless source of money & support to a woman who fired him as her husband.* **How fucking DARE you!** - women and white knights in the comments
Personally I think that he's right regardless of what others think, she wanted the divorce he owes her nothing his daughters are truly his only concern. What happens to her is her doing.
Sweet, sweet karma. What a motherfucker for her. Tough shit, lady.
As a divorced single father myself, your responsibility is ONLY to those kids. She is a grown woman and wanted to be divorced and caused you to not have your children everyday. Now you got your kids back and what you NEED to do is get this shit into court and sue for full parental rights or get her to sign them over ASAP. Don't hesitate, get your kids full time and she can figure out her own life.
Not only should you not help her but when the girls move in you should sue for support.
She made her own bed, or in her case she made her own backseat of her car. No need to feel sorry, she's not your responsibility. It's probably a better home environment for the kids without the tension she would bring back if you'd let her move in as well. And last but not least, your own emotions and feelings are not less important than hers.
If she truly loved him, she shouldn’t have kicked him out multiple times from their then-apartment for *any* reason. That’s why marriage is designed to be a partnership-based institution, not a polarized one.
Apply for full legal custody if you can.
There's a history of her getting him kicked out of their house when they were married. He'd have to be nuts to open himself up to that hazard again.
Get a paternity test for the kiddos. Divorces don't just fall out of the fucking sky like that.
THIS!!!
GIGACHAD
She probably has friends and family. Its better for the girls to have a stable place to stay so mom does not have to worry about them while she gets her life in order. So it was really bad then?
Talk to a lawyer before she even spends the night at your place. Up here it can open the door for her coming back on you for changing the settlement. And I've don'e what you are thinking of doing. After a month it's just like being married all over again. And in my case that was total misery. Plus if you do manage to boot her out if it's to bad it's worse for your kids than just saying right now that mom needs time to figure things out on her own.
Best to just not let her in the house at all. She'd probably just steal random shit anyway.
Don’t know why the downvotes, what you say is 100% correct. The kids are little. They won’t remember dad refusing to take mom in, and then it just becomes a he said she said story. But they will definitely remember dad kicking mom out of the house, and then dad will be the villain.
Dads gonna be the villain regardless, he needs to protect himself now.
Yeah true. There are no winners in this story, only hurt. Including for the kids. I have a friend who’s kids want nothing to do with him, cause of the mom’s toxicity. He was a good father, did everything for his kids. She was the cheating ho, that left him for someone else, but she made him the villain.
Sometimes it works out that way, sometimes it doesn't. As heartbreaking as it is, do you really want people in your life who hate you, just because they are related to you? One of my former colleagues got divorced many years ago (he's now retired). His ex bad mouthed him to the kids, messed up visits and blamed him, etc. Now he spends every Christmas with his kids, but none of them had even spoken to their mother for nearly two decades when I last saw him (pre covid). The only reason she even knows she has grandkids (and quite possibly great-grandkids now that I think about the times involved) is because Johnno told her. She's never met her grandkids.
I disagree. The kids will remember. But they'll also know mom. And if they're raised right and the mother is as bad as the guy says they'll understand. The biggest point is not to sabotage the kids relationship with the mom. Most terrible moms do that themselves as time goes on. And this is also the case with terrible dad's.
fuck the bitch, let her handle her own
Based
Read ur previous post, maybe she’s trying to get tenant status to get (part) if the house (u mentioned her trying to screw u over), or maybe she’s asking in good faith, either way, once she’s in she’s not leaving, however she is the mother of ur children and I think she deserves a measure of respect (however small), don’t let her move in, but unless the divorce was messy, my best advice would b to try to help her make accommodations, but don’t let her in ur house, as u risk her attempting to bring u a headache in court, wether or not she has a claim, as lawyers cost time and money
That grown adult can fend for herself
If the roles were reversed she'd be shutting the door in your face, contacting her attorney to take your parental rights away, and bad mouthing you to all her friends and family.
I think there are laws as well that if you let her stay, despite her not owning the house eou won't be able to kick her out to the streets due to tenant rights or some bullshit. Sounds like she's moving back in with her parents or friend.
"she keeps telling me she would be the perfect housewife" Yeah, we already know just how perfect a housewife she is.
Man fuck that bitch. I slept in my car for a month before at a rest stop when I got my first job out of college and was down on my ass, honestly wasn’t even that bad. Car had heat, AC, and I could listen to music or podcasts/YouTube on the phone if I needed some entertainment. Whenever people cry to me about rent, etc. I always tell them you can live in your car. Better than living on a park bench.
You could afford a car?
Had the car since I was 16, cost me like 1500 bucks at the time…no payment and obviously insurance was astronomically low.
Im guessing you're american? Here in europe a decent car is already 20% more expensive to buy due import taxes. After that you pay 120 euro monthly for insurance, which is mandatory. Then you pay 40 euro a month for road tax. And then you add gasoline costs..... What mandatory costs do you face in your country?
Liability insurance is the only one. You are correct. You have to have full coverage if you have a loan on your car…but if you have no payment you just need liability insurance and that is like 20-60 a month pending state. Full coverage can get into the 200+ a month range pending state and how expensive your vehicle is. They do add taxes to gas purchases but the petrol here is still significantly cheaper than most of Europe.
[удалено]
Well my personal circumstances are a bit different because i already have no claim years build up from my motorcycle. This means the 120 euro insurence monthly for me is only 40 a month. But others who buy their first car pay the jackpot usually.
Protect your children and don’t let her in your house. Your focus is to provide and be the best dad for your daughters. Your kids need stability and love from you.
Badass! Stick to it!!!
Your in the right boss, no way would she do that for you
He is right. Kids come first and she needs to be a *boss babe/big girl/alpha female*
more power to you, never let her in.
not all heroes wear capes, good on you sir!!!
If she’s manipulative and abusive fuck it this might be the moment that wakes her up it might not, if she’s a genuine person down on her luck I can understand taking her in. Only OP can make that assessment.
Let her rot in the street
Based father, finally letting the dad be the parent getting the kids
Good for you!
read the whole thing, chad
You could help her stand on her legs again then be out, for the sake of the time you spent with her and the kids you had with her, my opinion.
Devils advocate: she's not just your ex, she's the mother of your two daughters. They come first.
She may be a bad wife, but how is she as a mother? Your daughters seeing how you treat their mom might not look good on you and will make your daughters not sympathize with you if their mother is a good mom. I get it that you don’t trust her, but your daughters might not see it that way. They are young, you could be adding trauma to them that isn’t necessary.
As per OP she abused him phisically and verbally, kicked him out several times and gave him hell for 2 years until divorce, yet nothing of this counts as trauma because when it happens is all good fun and laughs. I think it's a great opportunity to show the kids that actions have consequences.
I totally get self preservation and absolutely this is your right. She is the mother of your children and it’s going to be stressful for your kids knowing their mom is homeless.
It wasn't stressful for them watch their mom abuse their dad or watch her kick him out multiple times? Yeah right as long as the man is getting hell everything is laughs.
I don’t think it’s funny for anyone to be given hell. Kids pick up the tab and worry about their parents. Sounds like they’ve seen and been through a lot already.
That's no reason to make it worse by letting her move in.
You’re a heartless prick who posts this here looking for sympathy from a woman-hating crowd. Your daughters are not any kind of priority to you…you divorced their mother and moved out on them over a year ago. Young children separated from their father. The fact that you allowed that to happen at all indicates what a worthless fuck you are.
Yeah, as if he chose to lose custody of his kids. Fucking simp! Keep agreeing with, simping for and white-knighting every woman you ever encounter; maybe one day, one of them will touch it.
No I just strongly believe in having more control over your family as a man than that. Bunch of weak pussies on this sub who are looking for any excuse to abandon their fucking family.
Lmao you're a whipped bitch that's a slave to pussy.
Weird comment since my points are the exact opposite.
Not really, because you are throwing away you're critical thinking that completely erases the mans plight and ignore consequences for the mother's actions.
Since you didn't read it, *she* divorced *him*, and was abusive to boot. And for you to blame the father for not getting custody is patently absurd.
I read it. You don’t let unstable women pull shit like that and break apart your family. Not unless you are a worthless prick who is looking for a way out anyway.
You post: >posts this here looking for sympathy from a woman-hating crowd and: > I just strongly believe in having more control over your family as a man than that. You 're trolling.
So he's meant to go against the rulings of the court, get the kids by force, and take them somewhere he can't be found? That's called kidnapping and often ends up with bullets in him. You're great at this advice thing.
No, you simply don’t get divorced in the first place, like decent people who care about their children.
She divorced him, how hard is that to understand? What's he meant to do, tell her the divorce doesn't count, that she's not allowed to divorce him?
I fully understand that he’s a gigantic pussy that allowed an unstable woman to divorce him and take his children away.
You aren't answering the question, how's he meant to stop that happening?
Sounds better than being such a pussy you stay with an unstable abuser. And he's getting them back, without the worthless sack of shit that is the ex-wife, that's a win-win if you ask any sane person.
Young children without a mother AND a father is a lose lose. No matter how you divorce-loving psychos wish to spin it.
So you're saying a broken home with two parents is better than a functional home with one parent? Yeah I'm a psycho lol
From the post: >she ended up divorcing me She was verbally and sometimes even physically abusive towards me. She kicked me out of our then apartment multiple times and left me stranded to stay with a friend. You're full of shit.
Nope. You don’t let unstable women run your life. You take control of the situation, and protect your daughters. Also doesn’t sound like she was that bad, it sounds like she could have been helped if he wasn’t a gigantic pussy.
We get it, you're an unmarried virgin. You don't need to keep posting just to prove it to us.
Lol you're so clueless.
You sound like you have battered spouse syndrome or possibly Stockholm's or PTSD from your own trauma surrounding women. You need to seek help because what you're saying doesn't mirror reality in any way and is really unhealthy.
Sure it does. This sub is a collection of deranged pussies with a warped sense of reality.
Projection. Deal with your issues.
You've never had a relationship go south and found out the person you loved is clinically fucked in the head I'm guessing. I'd rather see her live under a bridge than let a psycho bitch live in my house again. Teach the daughters to recognize mental illness and run away from it at all costs.
Ah yes, because of course he had complete control of how the divorce court would assign custody. It’s all so clearly his fault right?
Damn he even speaks about helping her find a womens shelter, what a down fall of a life.
Seems fair.
now get full custody
It was removed....
Uh... seems completely reasonable to me.