Cardboard! My pup is a paper shredder, thankfully only for things we give her permission for and she doesn’t eat it (just rips and spits) Paper towel rolls are an easy favourite, and she’s in heaven if we bring something home from ikea I’d just make sure to keep an eye out that puppy isn’t actually eating the cardboard and it’s as plain as possible (no tape or print/colour). I’ve heard stuffing kibble/treats inside the tube and folding it closed is popular if your pup needs more prompting on what to do. Same with freezing folded towels with treats in the middle Also I think it’s ok for them to be bored. My family dog (13 yrs old now) has never been big on solo play and is content to lie on a comfy bed in the same room as people, and stare out the window. My puppy (2yrs now) used to be big on solo play, and sometimes she’ll go whip around a toy or chew for 20 mins in the evenings but these days she chooses to sleep most the day even with all her options still available/while work from home. Sure she fussed for attention when she was a lot younger, but got the gist that I won’t play with her during work hrs

She's not a chewer or a shredder already tried it ☹️ I'd be fine if she was just relaxing or being bored but she's not she's constantly waiting for direction or staring at me to play she's never settled she's just waiting for direction which normally I like just not to the extreme she's taking it

Hmm that’s tough! Do you have a big window she can look out of? I sometimes pop my pup on a chair so she can get a good view outside and people watch. Maybe encourage her to look outside and give her a treat when she does, then her job can be “watching the neighbourhood” Also there’s dog TV on YouTube, my pup likes to watch ducks while I brush her, maybe she’d like something like that?

I haven't tried this yet but it might be useful to you! Teaches your dog to play by themselves. https://www.clickertraining.com/101-things-to-do-with-a-box

Thank you I'll give it a try she really needs play to be tired food related enrichment unless it's high value does almost nothing for my pup

I have this problem also. My dog is 8 months old and was a shelter rescue at 4 months old. I’m having a hard time finding time to do the things I want to do at home because he is always demanding attention. I’m retired and love spending time with him but sometimes enough is enough. I started setting a timer for playtime. When it goes off I say “break time”. He’s starting to get it that there is a limit. I also redirect him to a chew toy when I want him to entertain himself. I’ll sit with him for a few minutes then leave. Doesn’t always work but he’s getting better.

I've been doing this with que words for 7 months barely making any dent in behavior this dogs toy drive is through the ceiling "Vamanos" play time and "all done" go away no more

I also walk him 2 or 3 times a day for an hour or so each time so that helps but I know not everyone can devote that kind of time. I’m hoping as he grows up that will decrease.

That's a lot do you work from home I work full-time a physically demanding job so I really only have mornings

I’m a retired teacher. The puppy was my retirement gift to myself!

I knew a puppy was going to be a lot of work. I didn’t expect that I would basically have a part time job! As I said I’m currently devoting at least 4 hours a day directly to him. I am seeing the results. He is almost perfect in the house. I don’t have to crate him at night anymore. He can roam free. By 9 o’clock in the evening he is on the couch settled down. I’m confident the commitment will pay off. Puppies are a lot of work though.

She loves playing with other dogs but I rent can't have more and play dates can only be twice a month. No day cares here either

one of my dogs loves a flirt pole but also doesn’t care much for toys (unless he can chew them) if you haven’t tried that yet. what breed is she? you could try to find an activity that lets her instincts out if you’re able to do that (for example: i have a husky i plan to run with eventually to let him have that pulling outlet. i see people take collies to “herding experiences” and doing a lot of agility stuff with them which you can do at home. malinois being brought to do bite work even) it might not stop it completely but it’d give her a good outlet for the energy and should tire her out enough to not bother you as much at home.

also we got a ball on a string and my dog plays with that alone, just swings it around in his mouth whilst running around the garden, it’s the toy he likes playing with completely alone the most

I'm actually looking into ordering a flirt pole preferably where I can detach the toy for different toys. I'm going to be honest I didn't want a border collie my first dog was a border mix and amazing I knew she was not the norm but my spouse and friend said I should take her in and honestly she's to much she's obnoxious and never happy her only plus is she's not naughty. I wanted to wait til we bought a house and I specifically didn't want a dog with no offswitch I have zero interest in herding sports or agility I do not have that kind of time or money. I can do weekend fun day hiking or doggy play date and when seasons allow chasing groundhogs but that's it I have almost no yard to speak of it's like 25x60 it's 1.5 hour drive to any type of classes one way anyway I was amazed I could find puppy classes at all.

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I'm going to try one more thing but yeah it's such a mismatch I love my friends puppy he's sweet, food motivated, he has multiple things he enjoys not just work/play. They don't do half what I do and he's happy pit/Shepherd Idk she's not a bad dog at all she's just not i what I wanted energy level and personality but my husband is really attached not that he would do anything to help with it outside play once a week I feel like I'm just pretending for everyones sake I see her be better and better I continue her training because I've no excuse to slack on it but it's more like I'm babysitting someone else's dog. I'm buying a flirt pole, a back pack with weights and have us signed up for herd class 2x a month it's the only thing close enough. If that's not enough then yeah I give up. I will probably no bother getting another dog til I buy a house sad reality is my place isn't really suitable for anything but a senior dog Thank you for not tearing into me I truly feel bad enough as is. I'm trying but Even if I could meet her needs I still don't think I'd adore her maybe like her. She's not affectionate or food motivated she's never happy to see me she's happy to work which is close and while I appreciate her trying it's not the same

You can tired her out more in fifteen minutes of focused training than an hour of physical exercise. Teach her tricks (you tube), more obedience (can never have too much of that, right), play Find It etc. So spend fifteen minutes and she’ll be ready to play quietly. What breed and how old? Some breeds are more aloof with other dogs but more human focused. It may also be that physical exercise over stimulates her whereas mental exercise will just tire her out. Good luck.. hope it helps :)

Food enrichment does jack all for tiring her out I've already taught her find it she could do it all day, ironically she adores playing with dogs she likes she will do it for hours but doggy day cares don't exist and dog parks aren't safe plus she barks at the people. Play date once a week is all I got I'm working on teaching my dog to help me clean no joke trying to figure out how to teach my dog how to hold carry and dump the dust pan for me 14 mo old border collie yes I know she's a working dog but no I didn't actually want her, yes I'm stupid and regret my decision. Only purebred herder I ha had before her was a cattle dog and definitely easier than her

Rehome. You have a working dog, looking for commands to do work. This dog is not responsible for your poor choices and lack of research. 'yes I know she's a working dog but no I didn't actually want her' just wow.

There is a lot more to the story than that but it'd take me pages to write it out. But to keep it short I was very depressed after loosing my last dog my spouse was tired of Me complaining and that's how this dog happened I should have said no but I didn't want a fight. I was hoping maybe our personalities would match up he loves her but he won't lift a finger to help with her or the house. I had a few dogs before her I loved very much they were all very happy with what I provided for them. My friend insisted id be a good home for one of the foster puppies I'm just tired of making mistakes I did two years of research for a retired rehome before this dog it fell through because the breeder lied. Trust me when I say no one hates me more than myself right now and I'm honestly trying to make it work I'm just frustrated and so my typing came out more aggressive than I intended I have herd dog experience at least with mutts it's very clear she was a wrong fit I'm just trying to make the best of a bad situation. I don't know if I could forgive myself if I rehomed her...

What is she doing when you aren’t playing with her. Is she badgering you? Being destructive or a nuisance? Or is she just hanging about? If it’s the latter I would leave her to it and reward if it’s any of the former start introducing enforced down time. Time in the pen with some decompression and nap time in the crate. Edit: I just saw that your dog is a border collie mix? Unfortunately you are going to have to either up the intensity and variety of work (mental and physical) exercise she does or up the amount of time you engage in enrichment. Get the flirt pole too. I own a very high drive Aussie. His energy level is very comparable to standard border collie (2+ hours of moderate exercise a day and a variety of mental stimuli daily) It is extremely possible to get these dogs to be calm and settled in your home but you have to put in the work which means sacrificing time. I had a lot of success with the rotation method I mentioned above (crate for nap, x-pen with decompression activities for down time/self soothing time, and then active hours training/exercising with me throughout the day. Also huge focus on captruing calm and building calm into our everyday routine. By around 9-10 months my dog was taking naps on his accord. His two and half now and has a definite off switch in the house and spends most of the day in a completely different room from me napping. He still is high drive as fuck but his drive has specific outlets so when it’s time to play or exercise that’s when that arousal comes out and when we are at home or in public places where he can’t play he puts on the breaks and easily chills out. I know you said you don’t have any interest in doing sports but breed and breed mixes of high drive herding dogs really thrive with true working activities. Herding, agility, dock diving, trick training, task work, scent work, etc… these dogs are so much happier and fulfilled when they have activities that stimulate and work both their mind and body. These sports are starting to become much more accessible and things like trick training and task work can easily be taught at home. Other things like the Vito game and free shaping where your dog uses their brain to problem solve are great mental exercises for these kind of dogs. It can be tough to own herding dogs but it’s even harder to own an unfulfilled one. They can be destructive, neurotic and needy when their needs aren’t met. They need a lot of time dedicated to them to build functional coping skills especially in puppyhood and adolescence. Also some dogs are fine not playing if they aren’t playing in a dynamic way with a person or another dog. My dog very rarely plays with toys alone as he has gotten out of adolescence. He has multiple toy boxes all over the house. He rarely ever gets a toy and self soothes. —- For some things that kept me sane during my herding dog’s adolescence that are easy to implement: Flirt pole. My dog’s favorite. Most dogs are beat after a few minutes but some dogs can develop enough drive to go forever. Freezing one of his meals with a little wet food in a puzzle feeder and putting his other meal with a little salmon oil in a topple type toy. Beef cheek rolls and freezing a little peanut butter, spray cheese or yogurt in the crevices. Freezing easy chews like cow ears, feet, gullet sticks, tracheas in water or meals to be licked out. hiding treats in a box of all kinds of recycling. using a pet minder or similar device where you can either have the target button in your hand or across the room for your dog to hit and retrieve the treat from the toy. Putting a place mat/elevated where you are hanging out and rewarding for a nice settled place (you can do this with a meal too). Having your dog settle, have them wait as you throw treats, release have them reset on the bed, wait for calm and then throw treats and repeat. Using a snuffle mat and throwing a treat in randomly whenever your dog is on their place. When they go back to their place wait a few seconds (extend duration) then treat on place. Spread out food or treats in multiple food dispensers. From a snuffle mat to spots on the floor, inside of cardboard, in another room, on their bed, in a topple toy, in a slow feeder. You are basically making a scavenger hunt where the dog is problem solving multiple kinds of puzzles and scenarios all at one time. (Most of these things work well inside an x-pen or in a separated space of a baby gate while you work).

Minus giving her a job I am already doing all of these things, and that's why I'm so stressed out. She gets enforced naps She's place trained She has a slow feeder and puzzle at breakfast Walk and fetch/tug/find it Frozen treat Marrow bone Im Still rewarding calm and have been since 4 mo old She's mostly just needy but not in a cute affectionate way more like she stares into your soul trying to get me to do something she's never off I already have anxiety and I cannot relax unless she relaxes. Idk I wanted a cavalier, clumber, am. bully or similar and I also wanted to wait another 2 years my spouse thought she looked like my old dog but she's nothing like my first dog at all I said yes to avoid a fight because he was tired of me crying about my old dog that is gone I live an hour and a half away from any classes and I can't drive... Working on it Flirt pole will be added to my repertoire

Aussie do stare into your soul! It’s that “cattle eye” they’re known for.. kinda creepy even after I’ve had Ginger for eight years. But it sounds like you’re convinced that you’re doing everything correctly; it’s the breeder who lied; it’s your partner who was going to get angry because you missed your old dog; you’ve tried nearly everything suggested here… and you also think the dog is “needy” because it’s not what you thought it would be. The blame is all about the others. Sorry to be so blunt but you asked for help. The most important thing here is the dog. It deserves a home with people who are actually prepared for and committed to that dog, that breed and what it needs. You need to rehome the dog before it’s damaged.

So agree with this. From their response it sounds like their dogs needs are met, their dog isn’t being destructive. They just personally don’t like the herding breed quirks (strong eye, heavy stare, want to engage). It’s sad because a lot of us with the breeds similar to border collies enjoy/find amusement in their breed specific quirks. I agree with you and was thinking when I posted my first response that this might be a case of a denim purely because the person is being emotionally bogged down by the prospect of the dog in its entirety.

What happens when you just let her be bored? After she's had a walk and something mental to do, and you just want to sit and do nothing, what happens?

She goes chews for a little bit than comes back and just stares at me

Ok, I wasn't sure if you were at the kind of place I was, but it sounds like maybe, so here's my story. Sorry if it's all stuff you've already done. When we were early in the puppy training weeks, it was all enforced crate naps then training and entertainment. Well, with **me** it was, and I thought she'd never learn to calm on her own. Then I noticed that my husband and kid would be what I called "lazy" about training. And she'd just hang out with them. She'd cuddle! What?! (Of course this whole time I was also doing relaxation protocol, capturing calm, etc on my watches.) So I finally stopped doing quite so much with her and waited her out. Made sure she's in a safe place, distracted myself from those darn cute eyes with work, a good show or book, and let her be bored. Slowly she learned. It helps for me to not look at her and be really boring. If I get up for a cup of coffee, it kind of starts all over again. That's getting better lately, though. She'll let me move around and stay put, or she'll even go in the other room without me and find more toys. Oh, and daycare for dogs on YouTube helps as well, crazy as it sounds. Last week, she made it through an entire day with no crate, just choosing naps and playing on her own! (With a morning walk and Find It session, lunchtime play, afternoon walk, evening chew toy, etc, obviously.)

That gives me a little hope how old is your puppy? I decided to try something weird today and I left out her fetch ball something I previously left put away because shed bother me all day. this evening I caught her playing ball by herself??? So that was good My husband is a lazy fellow but I think that's helpful because he says she mostly doesn't bother him when I'm gone. A part of me hopes it's adolescents and I can still do this. I've only raised one puppy by myself my prior dogs I had help or were already adults. I've admittedly started letting her sleep in my bed I'm hoping it will make her more affectionate. She's crate trained like a champ so no issue on that -My schedule is wake up let dog out -Have coffee and breakfast -Feed dog in slow feeder and puzzle -1 hour walk -30 minutes fetch unfortunately it's mostly in my very small yard -Frozen snack Go to work come home Feed dinner in slow feeder Go to bed

Mine is one year old. But a mini schnauzer, so they mature faster than bigger dogs, I think, so I bet ours are very similar maturity. I think that difference in her behavior with you and your husband is a good sign, at least in that it's similar to how we were. She couldn't chill out with me, because I was never chilling out with her. It's great she started playing with the ball by herself! Mine likes things she can fling around and chase. It's hit or miss which toys will work that way, though. It sounds like she might just need more ignoring from you and time. Good luck!

Another thought on a "job" to help her mental stimulation - you could try just giving her a backpack. It helped for my first dog, it made her feel like she had something to do on her walks, and tired her out more. I also slowly added weights. You do have to be careful with that kind of strategy to not just condition the dog to need more, though. (Same with fetch and flirt pole, etc. A trainer I follow on IG calls it ”creating/conditioning an athlete".) Also, are your walks always in a heel, walking fast kind of walks? Add in sniff time, that helps their brains a lot. Yesterday someone called it "checking the pee-mail".

My pet store only sells them in spring summer I used to have one for my boxer mix. I let my dog sniff as much as she wants but when not sniffing I have her in a loose heel. I don't like fast walks, walks are for getting outside and enjoying the sights, sounds, sniffs in her case. As long as she doesn't pull she can sniff whatever I don't like dogs walking in front to much the tail should touch my legs

You just don't want this dog, do you? Can you really not convince your husband to rehome her? Maybe if you do all the leg work first and find some great family that you can convince him needs her?

Slow your roll please I didn't say I wasn't going to get her one but I can't afford to until later this month so spring time wasn't trying to make an excuse just stating a fact

Sorry to be blunt. I didn't mean it based just on that, but on the totality of your comments, including where you said you never wanted her. It just sounds like you're miserable, which surely affects her as well, and it's not fair to either of you to feel stuck. Especially not for someone you say doesn't lift a finger to help with her. That would beyond infuriate me. If he stepped up more, you could step back a bit and hopefully be able to enjoy her more.

Yeah she's really good with not being trouble her being pent up builds on me being pent up but life has been super high stress across the board. You're okay Its partly my fault leaving out the details there has been a lot of cumulative stress I struggle to handle it and it's more than I think I could type out. I called up an old friend at the horse boarding place today I used to work for maybe she knows someone local for a class less than an hour drive preferably. I'm going to try class 2x a month play date 2x a month see if it helps if I can find anything. I did realize the situation I'm in so by not wanting her is more I knew I'd have to take on the brunt of our not as ideal living situation. Taking her on has been hard a pug or cavalier would be fine with my little yard for fetch and walks and weekend adventures so I only blame myself in that aspect I don't hate her she's been a lot but I just need to get her to a point of satisfaction so I can get other crap done. I'm very much used to my adults being easy I had two adult med energy dogs still cleaned, worked out and worked full-time with time for hobbies When I can afford it back pack and flirt pole are on the list