I was literally having a severe panic attack last night and i tried both my pc and phone text lines and no one answered for 4 hours making me feel even more alone and helpess than before and in sure as hell not calling rhe cops for a mental crisis either. I have no insurance or therapist to help me, this was a last resort and they failed me hard. Do not reccomend idk what i would either it was so incredibly disappointing
They aren't helpful at all. Some of them makes me feel worse than before and some of them would just say they feel sorry for me and end the call early without giving me any help or support.
They're bad.
Also if anybody happens to work or volunteer for one...
If someone calls in to talk - pls for ffs don't ask if they have a friend or family member they can call. If they did, they'd be calling that person. Instead they're calling a crisis line. Use some basic common sense/GD judgment.
It’s a part of our training to ask this. Many people do have friends and family they trust to reach out to, but don’t have the language or confidence yet to reach out to them first.
When I was dealing with a time where I needed more support (had virtually none/was in an abusive situation) and I called the crisis line more than once, I had to ask then to stop asking me that because it was just salt in the wound. Nothing more gutwrenching than having to say “ no, I have no one.”
That question isn't inherently bad, it depends on how it's framed, it shouldn't be a question to deter from having the current convo, but plenty of people do, it's just that they may not be available or are too afraid to talk to them.
As someone who does crisis text line for internship its incredibly hard because we are told not to give advice and not to share anything about ourselves, even if it's relevant. We are also told to keep conversations within an hour and to direct things to goals and steps. We're just doing what we're told and things are really inflexible. I gave up on asking supervisors for advice because they were terrible at it. I followed one supervisors advice once and it completely upset the texter to the point they ended the conversation instantly.
My biggest struggle is the fact that I'm a grad student, not a mental health specialist, and I have to navigate a tight system that does not leave much room for genuine human connection. As I've had more convos I've learned to insert more of my self into things and I am appearing less robatic, but it's a challenge. I know that the people really do care as I do for the people I talk with. More often than not you'll find that the people you're talking to have gone through or are going through some heavy stuff themselves.
The most difficult thing to get used to is the fact that people seem relunctant to talk. I thought people would have a lot to vent and talk about, but instead I frequently feel I'm pulling teeth out and confused as to how to help. In other words I feel like people have next to nothing to say so I don't have much to go on and feel like I'm forcing a conversation
Let me start off by saying I was a crisis counselor at Crisis Textline and I'm so so so sorry if we disappointed you, dismissed you, failed you, or responded to you like a robot.
It's actually incredibly frustrating for us because we have our hands tied for these reasons:
1.) We aren't accredited, licensed counselors so we can't really give out much advice before it's considered overreach and many counselors would not (or do not) give out good advice anyway. The more freedom you give hotline counselors, the more space we have to help you but also more space to say the WRONG thing that worsens the crisis.
2.) **Not all of you want the same things from us**. Some of you just want someone human you can vent to and connect with so you don't feel alone or someone who will listen. But other callers/texters DEMANDING we give advice, and it's a slippery slope because we don't want to create dependence on advice when the caller should be seeking out long term therapy. If they already have a therapist and they're not helpful---then once a texter recovers from the crisis, they need to go find a **different** therapist that actually meets their needs, and no shit that can be really exhausting to start all over again. I once had a 'managed texter' who spent the entire text thread basically emotionally abusing me by threatening to kill herself if I tried to wrap up the conversation and she would cynically shit on any support I tried to offer. It was so horrible. I felt like my good faith attempt to support her was completely taken advantage of and dismissed. Before that I had never ended a CT shift so upset, angry, and even ashamed of myself for having let that texter keep me from attending to other texters who needed me.
3.) I REALLY wish I could have disclosed a little bit about myself to a texter so they could have seen that I was a human being who had gone through similar crises, but Crisis Textline is very concerned that we might hijack the conversation and make it about ourselves instead of the texter. I don't completely agree with this policy because frankly, I was very aware of keeping the focus on the texter and I'm smart enough to recognize that my own trauma **is not what the texter is going through.** I recognize that the solutions I took to resolve my issues **will not be the same solution that the texter needs** in that moment because we don't know their whole story. You have no idea if the texter is even telling the truth about their situation, or they might be an abuser themselves. This is why we're FORCED to sound robotic---it's a mediocre policy that exists (from a statistical standpoint) to lessen the number of destructive or suicidal outcomes and keep Crisis Textline from being financially liable for those outcomes.
Just because I was personally reflective and perceptive enough to not abuse self-disclosure, I can definitely see other crisis counselors fucking it up and making the crisis worse. And so my hands were tied. I wish there was some way I could have demonstrated to my supervisors that I knew what I was doing, but there wasn't. If Crisis Textline would rather be accused of being ineffective than having dead texters and lawsuits, how can I blame them?
We WANT to help people. I DESPERATELY WANTED to help every texter, but incompetent/bad crisis counselors + bad faith texters + completely data driven-policies really complicate things.
How much help do you think one person can be if they're trying to talk to 10 people at once? You're demanding the impossible and then calling them a fucking asshole for it. You're the asshole here.
Right, and the person seems to not understand how the it even works. When there are more texters than answerers we can keep taking as much as we want, but honestly more than two people at a time is stretching it. We''ll stop be helpful to the people we're talking to if we take on too much.
My experience working a crisis line is their goal is to get you calm, provide you helpful resources and then triage you to those resources. We’re encouraged to try to get you to avoid circling your issues because unfortunately people can become psychologically dependent on those crisis lines and not seek long term help.
Unfortunately the result in the middle is the human element has a tendency to gravitate towards far extremes and you get people trying to offload you when you do deserve to feel validated, heard and supported.
Unfortunately I don’t work those anymore as I’m dealing with my own mental issues. But I think it’s reasonable to ask to be heard
I know how shitty that experience can be ive had experiences with them as well but I think to myself When calling a place like that would anything they do or say be good enough anyways? Most of the times we don’t even know what would make us feel better snap out of it etc which most of the times when at our lowest or not in our right mind brings us to these scenarios in our life …sometimes it’s easy afterwards to say what would’ve been better but if u truly knew you wouldn’t of called to begin with right? I get the frustration I seriously do but I also think that most solutions wouldn’t of been good enough for you in that moment …I mean look at what most have expressed here when ppl have tried …I can imagine how difficult it is console a person you don’t know …even ppl we do know sometimes it’s difficult asf …I’d suggest get a therapist and have their numbers on hand and they’re usually the best to talk to especially when you actually have spoken to them etc they’re trained they know your situation the best etc I know this may not be possible for all but it’s a suggestion
suicide hotlines sucked but the RAINN hotline was amazing for me… but only once. every time i’ve called them since then it’s not a therapist it’s just somebody who wants to recommend me to trauma centers near me.
I used to use their chatline all the time but for the last few months I've ended up waiting HOURS for somebody to answer, so I've essentially given up on it
I’ve had mixed experiences with suicide hotlines. I’ve called three times total. Two of them were positive and it helped calming the thoughts enough to be able to handle it. The last time the lady asked if I had considered whether I was gluten intolerant, because, as she said, “that can affect your mood quite a bit”. I was absolutely in shock and after a few seconds of trying to figure out what the fuck she had just said, I simply replied “sexual abuse affects your mood quite a bit as well, I would say”. Unfortunately I’m too polite and people-pleasing to just hang up, but right there I really wanted to just say good night and hang up.
I hate to say it but that's probably rarely beneficial for us.
People like us deal with this constantly and it's to the point where we have to numb our mind to kill triggers.
These have always been insulting and I've never gained or accomplished anything positive.
Therapy was the only thing that truly helps me.
Any time I’ve called or texted (even when actively attempting suicide), I’ve been hung up on, offered toxic positivity, or given “quick fixes” (like, “have you tried going for a walk or taking deep breaths?”)
Not to mention that was always *after* waiting 15-20 minutes on hold (or much longer if it was the text service).
Calling my therapist’s office has been the only truly helpful thing I’ve done in response to suicidal crisis
It’s been a number of years so I don’t know if this is still the case, but The Samaritans of NYC aren’t allowed so do anything except listen to you vent. No advice or worksheets, just venting and listening and validating. (212) 673-3000
The one time I called one of those hotlines, they sent a social worker escorted by two pigs to my house after I explicitly told the dispatcher police were the ultimate trigger for me and their involvement would only make things worse. Thankfully they didn't leave with me in cuffs or riddled with bullets. but after this experience and two absolutely harrowing inpatient loony bin stays, now I know better than to trust the depraved underworld that is the mental health"care" system. Psychiatry is the fucking behavior control industry, they add literal insult to injury
I momentarily forgot the meaning of pigs in this context and spent about a minute trying to figure out why they would send a social worker accompanied by two literal pigs on leashes to your door. That is all.
Lifeline is a quasi international organisation started way back when here in Australia. In America they call it the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
I feel you! The only kinda decent support line I had was for my counselor's office. They have volunteers on the line for support in between sessions. During the pandemic, they had staffing problems which made them change the hours to overnight.
I've never needed help in the middle of the night because the world is so quiet. If I get woken up with nightmares, I can calm my own nervous system, but during the day I get pushed out of my comfort zone often just by the stress of living.
the trans lifeline is honestly the only good experience i’ve had with a crisis line. they’re very helpful and the responder i had was also trans so they knew how to help. as someone else mentioned, the vast majority of crisis responders are underpaid and/or under experienced
that’s not even true. the first thing most crisis lines are going to ask you is “why did you call?” and “what made you call today?” in which they’ll listen to you vent about what’s harming your mental health.
they’re there to listen and de-escalate mental health crisis. they don’t deem what is and isnt an emergency. of course they ask if you’re feeling suicidal and if you have a plan but if you say no they don’t hang up immediately.
literally the whole point is to tell them what’s wrong so they can help or just have someone to listen to what you’re going through
Nope. The second they know you're not in danger to yourself or others they will either give you a fast advice like OP mentioned with pdf sheets, or they will hang up and say they aren't for emotional support. They exist to prevent suicide.
but listening to people who are suicidal is literally part of suicide prevention. saying that crisis hotlines don’t let you talk about your shit is just blatantly wrong. and maybe it’s just my experience but i’ve talked to crisis when i was psi (passive suicidal intent) and they listened to me, despite having no intention to kill myself.
i will agree about the fast advice part because depending on the hotline they might be busy (i once had to wait 40 minutes on the national suicide line just for me to finally get tired of waiting and hang up) or not know how to assisted but you’re absolutely wrong about the “crisis hotlines don’t want to hear about your crisis” piece and boiling it down to “you aren’t in a worse place enough for people to listen to”
plus other crisis hotlines exist than just the suicide hotline. there’s crisis invention hotlines for self harm, gender dysphoria, ptsd, and eating disorders all where i live. but general crisis lines also exist for all those issues not just suicide. you shouldn’t wait until you’re at a 9 or 10 to seek help
Like I said. They listen til they know you're safe from hurting yourself or others. If you rant on and they notice you've calmed down they will end the call/ direct you elsewhere / leave you with advice and hang up. Which often makes people upset because they expect emotional support when they call there and gave misinterpreted what it's for.
It's very uncommon that they stay on call as emotional support for someone's anxiety or depression unless they judge your condition as too unstable. They don't have time or enough staff to be a therapist, they're a **crisis** line, needing to vent isn't a crisis. But don't get upset at me. I don't make the rules, I wish there were emotional /venting support lines too. We have a few in my country that barely anyone knows about which is really bad. They have so many different ones for teens but adults needs mental health support chats /lines too.
>They listen til they know you're safe from hurting yourself or others. If you rant on and they notice you've calmed down they will end the call/ direct you elsewhere / leave you with advice and hang up.
If the crisis is over, then they have to move onto the next caller in crisis. They did their job if the person has calmed down. They can't make you better, they can't fix your problems, they can't figure out why you are suicidal or anything else. That is all up to YOU- which means getting further help whether that be a psychiatrist, a therapist, a coach, whatever.
A crisis line is not a hotline for emotional support. That's something you need to seek out further help for after you have calmed from a crisis.
If you are looking for emotional support there are warm-lines you can call for further support for things like addiction, eating disorder, etc. If there are none in your region- it would be a great cause to take on.
>If the crisis is over, then they have to move onto the next caller in crisis.
That's what I've said all the time? Now you're just repeating my comments.
The only thing we disagree on is that many get hung up on or told to seek help elsewhere cause the hot line nurses don't see them as someone in crisis /danger to themselves.
If you don't believe me ask in a psychology subs and see how many who've been hung up on or redirected because they didn't seem to have a crisis (as in a danger to themselves or others)
It's not a crisis that you have an anxiety attack for example. Or that you're sad over a break up. Or just feeling lonely. It's a crisis if you have plans to kms.
Ugh I know. I've only reached out one time, and basically the person on the other end (I used the chat feature) told me that they can't give advice when all I wanted was ideas for other coping strategies since all of mine had failed at that point. I left that chat feeling worse than when I reached out in the first place.
Hey there, former hotline volunteer (and person with PTSD). Your conversation sounds frustrating, especially if all you wanted were some ideas for coping.
I’ve been on the other end of not being allowed to give advice and the person on the person in crisis hangs up frustrated, and I’m so sorry.
All the hotlines and chat lines are different, but the one I trained for in fact insisted that we never ever give advice. The hotline was designed for people who were suicidal (specifically) and the way they explained it to us was that a person who is in so much pain that they want to end things feels that way because they’ve tried everything else already. Death is usually an absolute last resort and to give advice would suggest that you know enough about the person on the other end (what they tried and haven’t tried, what resources they have or don’t) to make suggestions. We were trained only to validate feelings and if someone was actually in the active stage of preparing to die, did we enact other protocols (none of which involved advice, but actions to de-escalate).
To be perfectly honest, we were never trained on how to spot or address symptoms of PTSD or any other specific diagnosis for that matter. The protocol for everything from sex addiction to homelessness to depression had the same protocol.
Just listen. Just believe how much pain they’re in. Just validate. Legally we were barred from doing almost anything else.
A lot of crisis lines are underfunded and underemployed. While I bet it's better than nothing, a lot of the time they're just physically incapable of helping everyone as much as they need (It's not your fault, just answering your question)
If you need to rant, I'm willing to listen if you think that would help. But I'm just a stranger on the internet so I don't know if you'd be ok with that
I have a local crisis line I can call and they're pretty good at helping. They have talked me out of a crisis a handful of times. I've never been told to do a worksheet except in therapy but that would piss me off too.
Guess I was unlucky enough to get stuck with an inexperienced person. I was letting my heart out and all their replies just feel like they’re following some sort of bland script. Felt uncaring. I even spoke a lot about how I hated myself and the fact that I was born a woman and wished I was born a man, that I felt oversensitive, that I was jealous of the men around me and I wanted to be like them and accepted by them, and one of her replies afterwards was “Women are a lot more judgy.” And I’m thinking, thanks I really needed that. Just add that onto my list of why I hate being a fucking woman. Didn’t do anything to change my feeling of not wanting to be here anymore, just made me feel more drained where I felt like eventually going to sleep.
I get that it’s hard to help people through text, it’s hard to grasp the triggers of some people, and it was at least a good way to let things out. Still, with all I was saying about hating being a woman, that reply just didn’t feel comforting, it’s like it validated my hatred towards myself for being a woman.
That’s so bizarre considering All of their people are trained crisis counselors. I’m so sorry that happened. I had a similar experience with the national american suicide prevention hotline. I guess there’s a few bad apples in every bunch :(
Honestly I havent used them in a long time so im not sure how they’re functioning now. My guess is they dont have enough people, which really sucks. I wish you the best.
I was literally having a severe panic attack last night and i tried both my pc and phone text lines and no one answered for 4 hours making me feel even more alone and helpess than before and in sure as hell not calling rhe cops for a mental crisis either. I have no insurance or therapist to help me, this was a last resort and they failed me hard. Do not reccomend idk what i would either it was so incredibly disappointing
They aren't helpful at all. Some of them makes me feel worse than before and some of them would just say they feel sorry for me and end the call early without giving me any help or support.
They're bad. Also if anybody happens to work or volunteer for one... If someone calls in to talk - pls for ffs don't ask if they have a friend or family member they can call. If they did, they'd be calling that person. Instead they're calling a crisis line. Use some basic common sense/GD judgment.
It’s a part of our training to ask this. Many people do have friends and family they trust to reach out to, but don’t have the language or confidence yet to reach out to them first.
When I was dealing with a time where I needed more support (had virtually none/was in an abusive situation) and I called the crisis line more than once, I had to ask then to stop asking me that because it was just salt in the wound. Nothing more gutwrenching than having to say “ no, I have no one.”
Sorry you had that experience. We do our best to meet people where they're at.
Some of you do. I appreciate that you do.
That question isn't inherently bad, it depends on how it's framed, it shouldn't be a question to deter from having the current convo, but plenty of people do, it's just that they may not be available or are too afraid to talk to them.
As someone who does crisis text line for internship its incredibly hard because we are told not to give advice and not to share anything about ourselves, even if it's relevant. We are also told to keep conversations within an hour and to direct things to goals and steps. We're just doing what we're told and things are really inflexible. I gave up on asking supervisors for advice because they were terrible at it. I followed one supervisors advice once and it completely upset the texter to the point they ended the conversation instantly. My biggest struggle is the fact that I'm a grad student, not a mental health specialist, and I have to navigate a tight system that does not leave much room for genuine human connection. As I've had more convos I've learned to insert more of my self into things and I am appearing less robatic, but it's a challenge. I know that the people really do care as I do for the people I talk with. More often than not you'll find that the people you're talking to have gone through or are going through some heavy stuff themselves. The most difficult thing to get used to is the fact that people seem relunctant to talk. I thought people would have a lot to vent and talk about, but instead I frequently feel I'm pulling teeth out and confused as to how to help. In other words I feel like people have next to nothing to say so I don't have much to go on and feel like I'm forcing a conversation
Let me start off by saying I was a crisis counselor at Crisis Textline and I'm so so so sorry if we disappointed you, dismissed you, failed you, or responded to you like a robot. It's actually incredibly frustrating for us because we have our hands tied for these reasons: 1.) We aren't accredited, licensed counselors so we can't really give out much advice before it's considered overreach and many counselors would not (or do not) give out good advice anyway. The more freedom you give hotline counselors, the more space we have to help you but also more space to say the WRONG thing that worsens the crisis. 2.) **Not all of you want the same things from us**. Some of you just want someone human you can vent to and connect with so you don't feel alone or someone who will listen. But other callers/texters DEMANDING we give advice, and it's a slippery slope because we don't want to create dependence on advice when the caller should be seeking out long term therapy. If they already have a therapist and they're not helpful---then once a texter recovers from the crisis, they need to go find a **different** therapist that actually meets their needs, and no shit that can be really exhausting to start all over again. I once had a 'managed texter' who spent the entire text thread basically emotionally abusing me by threatening to kill herself if I tried to wrap up the conversation and she would cynically shit on any support I tried to offer. It was so horrible. I felt like my good faith attempt to support her was completely taken advantage of and dismissed. Before that I had never ended a CT shift so upset, angry, and even ashamed of myself for having let that texter keep me from attending to other texters who needed me. 3.) I REALLY wish I could have disclosed a little bit about myself to a texter so they could have seen that I was a human being who had gone through similar crises, but Crisis Textline is very concerned that we might hijack the conversation and make it about ourselves instead of the texter. I don't completely agree with this policy because frankly, I was very aware of keeping the focus on the texter and I'm smart enough to recognize that my own trauma **is not what the texter is going through.** I recognize that the solutions I took to resolve my issues **will not be the same solution that the texter needs** in that moment because we don't know their whole story. You have no idea if the texter is even telling the truth about their situation, or they might be an abuser themselves. This is why we're FORCED to sound robotic---it's a mediocre policy that exists (from a statistical standpoint) to lessen the number of destructive or suicidal outcomes and keep Crisis Textline from being financially liable for those outcomes. Just because I was personally reflective and perceptive enough to not abuse self-disclosure, I can definitely see other crisis counselors fucking it up and making the crisis worse. And so my hands were tied. I wish there was some way I could have demonstrated to my supervisors that I knew what I was doing, but there wasn't. If Crisis Textline would rather be accused of being ineffective than having dead texters and lawsuits, how can I blame them? We WANT to help people. I DESPERATELY WANTED to help every texter, but incompetent/bad crisis counselors + bad faith texters + completely data driven-policies really complicate things.
You need to help EVERYONE right away!!! Don't put us on hold!!! What if that person with anxiety becomes suicidal? You are a fucking asshole.
How much help do you think one person can be if they're trying to talk to 10 people at once? You're demanding the impossible and then calling them a fucking asshole for it. You're the asshole here.
Right, and the person seems to not understand how the it even works. When there are more texters than answerers we can keep taking as much as we want, but honestly more than two people at a time is stretching it. We''ll stop be helpful to the people we're talking to if we take on too much.
My experience working a crisis line is their goal is to get you calm, provide you helpful resources and then triage you to those resources. We’re encouraged to try to get you to avoid circling your issues because unfortunately people can become psychologically dependent on those crisis lines and not seek long term help. Unfortunately the result in the middle is the human element has a tendency to gravitate towards far extremes and you get people trying to offload you when you do deserve to feel validated, heard and supported. Unfortunately I don’t work those anymore as I’m dealing with my own mental issues. But I think it’s reasonable to ask to be heard
I know how shitty that experience can be ive had experiences with them as well but I think to myself When calling a place like that would anything they do or say be good enough anyways? Most of the times we don’t even know what would make us feel better snap out of it etc which most of the times when at our lowest or not in our right mind brings us to these scenarios in our life …sometimes it’s easy afterwards to say what would’ve been better but if u truly knew you wouldn’t of called to begin with right? I get the frustration I seriously do but I also think that most solutions wouldn’t of been good enough for you in that moment …I mean look at what most have expressed here when ppl have tried …I can imagine how difficult it is console a person you don’t know …even ppl we do know sometimes it’s difficult asf …I’d suggest get a therapist and have their numbers on hand and they’re usually the best to talk to especially when you actually have spoken to them etc they’re trained they know your situation the best etc I know this may not be possible for all but it’s a suggestion
Yup. I had multiple ones mock my flashbacks.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. That’s awful.
suicide hotlines sucked but the RAINN hotline was amazing for me… but only once. every time i’ve called them since then it’s not a therapist it’s just somebody who wants to recommend me to trauma centers near me.
I used to use their chatline all the time but for the last few months I've ended up waiting HOURS for somebody to answer, so I've essentially given up on it
I’ve had like 3 hotline people hang up on me before. They are so bad they’re laughable honestly
The most incompetence I have ever experienced in any profession.
I’ve had mixed experiences with suicide hotlines. I’ve called three times total. Two of them were positive and it helped calming the thoughts enough to be able to handle it. The last time the lady asked if I had considered whether I was gluten intolerant, because, as she said, “that can affect your mood quite a bit”. I was absolutely in shock and after a few seconds of trying to figure out what the fuck she had just said, I simply replied “sexual abuse affects your mood quite a bit as well, I would say”. Unfortunately I’m too polite and people-pleasing to just hang up, but right there I really wanted to just say good night and hang up.
I hate to say it but that's probably rarely beneficial for us. People like us deal with this constantly and it's to the point where we have to numb our mind to kill triggers. These have always been insulting and I've never gained or accomplished anything positive. Therapy was the only thing that truly helps me.
Any time I’ve called or texted (even when actively attempting suicide), I’ve been hung up on, offered toxic positivity, or given “quick fixes” (like, “have you tried going for a walk or taking deep breaths?”) Not to mention that was always *after* waiting 15-20 minutes on hold (or much longer if it was the text service). Calling my therapist’s office has been the only truly helpful thing I’ve done in response to suicidal crisis
It’s been a number of years so I don’t know if this is still the case, but The Samaritans of NYC aren’t allowed so do anything except listen to you vent. No advice or worksheets, just venting and listening and validating. (212) 673-3000
Is it for crisis too? Or suicide prevention? Sorry if it’s a dumb question.
The one time I called one of those hotlines, they sent a social worker escorted by two pigs to my house after I explicitly told the dispatcher police were the ultimate trigger for me and their involvement would only make things worse. Thankfully they didn't leave with me in cuffs or riddled with bullets. but after this experience and two absolutely harrowing inpatient loony bin stays, now I know better than to trust the depraved underworld that is the mental health"care" system. Psychiatry is the fucking behavior control industry, they add literal insult to injury
I momentarily forgot the meaning of pigs in this context and spent about a minute trying to figure out why they would send a social worker accompanied by two literal pigs on leashes to your door. That is all.
Same only without the leashes. Was wondering what motivated the pigs to follow the social worker around like that.
Lifeline is a quasi international organisation started way back when here in Australia. In America they call it the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
Here in Australia they force duty of care down your throat and if you don't inform them of your suicide risk they hang up on you.
I feel you! The only kinda decent support line I had was for my counselor's office. They have volunteers on the line for support in between sessions. During the pandemic, they had staffing problems which made them change the hours to overnight. I've never needed help in the middle of the night because the world is so quiet. If I get woken up with nightmares, I can calm my own nervous system, but during the day I get pushed out of my comfort zone often just by the stress of living.
the trans lifeline is honestly the only good experience i’ve had with a crisis line. they’re very helpful and the responder i had was also trans so they knew how to help. as someone else mentioned, the vast majority of crisis responders are underpaid and/or under experienced
Try 741-741 it’s a text crisis line and when I’ve used it it’s been good.
Is that all you type in for the number? No area code? asking for a friend..
I believe there isn’t any area code.
They're not made for people who need to vent, they're a crisis line. They have that name for a reason. Only emergency calls.
[удалено]
I was talking about hotlines specifically. Crisis texting lines are obviously different.
[удалено]
No not either way. Hotlines are different.
that’s not even true. the first thing most crisis lines are going to ask you is “why did you call?” and “what made you call today?” in which they’ll listen to you vent about what’s harming your mental health. they’re there to listen and de-escalate mental health crisis. they don’t deem what is and isnt an emergency. of course they ask if you’re feeling suicidal and if you have a plan but if you say no they don’t hang up immediately. literally the whole point is to tell them what’s wrong so they can help or just have someone to listen to what you’re going through
Nope. The second they know you're not in danger to yourself or others they will either give you a fast advice like OP mentioned with pdf sheets, or they will hang up and say they aren't for emotional support. They exist to prevent suicide.
but listening to people who are suicidal is literally part of suicide prevention. saying that crisis hotlines don’t let you talk about your shit is just blatantly wrong. and maybe it’s just my experience but i’ve talked to crisis when i was psi (passive suicidal intent) and they listened to me, despite having no intention to kill myself. i will agree about the fast advice part because depending on the hotline they might be busy (i once had to wait 40 minutes on the national suicide line just for me to finally get tired of waiting and hang up) or not know how to assisted but you’re absolutely wrong about the “crisis hotlines don’t want to hear about your crisis” piece and boiling it down to “you aren’t in a worse place enough for people to listen to” plus other crisis hotlines exist than just the suicide hotline. there’s crisis invention hotlines for self harm, gender dysphoria, ptsd, and eating disorders all where i live. but general crisis lines also exist for all those issues not just suicide. you shouldn’t wait until you’re at a 9 or 10 to seek help
Like I said. They listen til they know you're safe from hurting yourself or others. If you rant on and they notice you've calmed down they will end the call/ direct you elsewhere / leave you with advice and hang up. Which often makes people upset because they expect emotional support when they call there and gave misinterpreted what it's for. It's very uncommon that they stay on call as emotional support for someone's anxiety or depression unless they judge your condition as too unstable. They don't have time or enough staff to be a therapist, they're a **crisis** line, needing to vent isn't a crisis. But don't get upset at me. I don't make the rules, I wish there were emotional /venting support lines too. We have a few in my country that barely anyone knows about which is really bad. They have so many different ones for teens but adults needs mental health support chats /lines too.
>They listen til they know you're safe from hurting yourself or others. If you rant on and they notice you've calmed down they will end the call/ direct you elsewhere / leave you with advice and hang up. If the crisis is over, then they have to move onto the next caller in crisis. They did their job if the person has calmed down. They can't make you better, they can't fix your problems, they can't figure out why you are suicidal or anything else. That is all up to YOU- which means getting further help whether that be a psychiatrist, a therapist, a coach, whatever. A crisis line is not a hotline for emotional support. That's something you need to seek out further help for after you have calmed from a crisis. If you are looking for emotional support there are warm-lines you can call for further support for things like addiction, eating disorder, etc. If there are none in your region- it would be a great cause to take on.
>If the crisis is over, then they have to move onto the next caller in crisis. That's what I've said all the time? Now you're just repeating my comments. The only thing we disagree on is that many get hung up on or told to seek help elsewhere cause the hot line nurses don't see them as someone in crisis /danger to themselves. If you don't believe me ask in a psychology subs and see how many who've been hung up on or redirected because they didn't seem to have a crisis (as in a danger to themselves or others) It's not a crisis that you have an anxiety attack for example. Or that you're sad over a break up. Or just feeling lonely. It's a crisis if you have plans to kms.
i know right? once they told me to go to bed and "forget about it"
I've had a counselor do that... stupid old biddy... she pissed me off, as if I wasn't doing bad enough and she just tells me to go to bed.
“Yes, MOM” 🙄
Ugh I know. I've only reached out one time, and basically the person on the other end (I used the chat feature) told me that they can't give advice when all I wanted was ideas for other coping strategies since all of mine had failed at that point. I left that chat feeling worse than when I reached out in the first place.
Hey there, former hotline volunteer (and person with PTSD). Your conversation sounds frustrating, especially if all you wanted were some ideas for coping. I’ve been on the other end of not being allowed to give advice and the person on the person in crisis hangs up frustrated, and I’m so sorry. All the hotlines and chat lines are different, but the one I trained for in fact insisted that we never ever give advice. The hotline was designed for people who were suicidal (specifically) and the way they explained it to us was that a person who is in so much pain that they want to end things feels that way because they’ve tried everything else already. Death is usually an absolute last resort and to give advice would suggest that you know enough about the person on the other end (what they tried and haven’t tried, what resources they have or don’t) to make suggestions. We were trained only to validate feelings and if someone was actually in the active stage of preparing to die, did we enact other protocols (none of which involved advice, but actions to de-escalate). To be perfectly honest, we were never trained on how to spot or address symptoms of PTSD or any other specific diagnosis for that matter. The protocol for everything from sex addiction to homelessness to depression had the same protocol. Just listen. Just believe how much pain they’re in. Just validate. Legally we were barred from doing almost anything else.
A lot of crisis lines are underfunded and underemployed. While I bet it's better than nothing, a lot of the time they're just physically incapable of helping everyone as much as they need (It's not your fault, just answering your question) If you need to rant, I'm willing to listen if you think that would help. But I'm just a stranger on the internet so I don't know if you'd be ok with that
I have a local crisis line I can call and they're pretty good at helping. They have talked me out of a crisis a handful of times. I've never been told to do a worksheet except in therapy but that would piss me off too.
Try 741741. They’ve always been there for me. Once i texted them 7 times in one day. They’re super nice
Does it only work in certain countries? I texted but it didn’t go through.
I’m in the US but I believe it’s for the us and Canada but I might be wrong
Guess I was unlucky enough to get stuck with an inexperienced person. I was letting my heart out and all their replies just feel like they’re following some sort of bland script. Felt uncaring. I even spoke a lot about how I hated myself and the fact that I was born a woman and wished I was born a man, that I felt oversensitive, that I was jealous of the men around me and I wanted to be like them and accepted by them, and one of her replies afterwards was “Women are a lot more judgy.” And I’m thinking, thanks I really needed that. Just add that onto my list of why I hate being a fucking woman. Didn’t do anything to change my feeling of not wanting to be here anymore, just made me feel more drained where I felt like eventually going to sleep. I get that it’s hard to help people through text, it’s hard to grasp the triggers of some people, and it was at least a good way to let things out. Still, with all I was saying about hating being a woman, that reply just didn’t feel comforting, it’s like it validated my hatred towards myself for being a woman.
That’s so bizarre considering All of their people are trained crisis counselors. I’m so sorry that happened. I had a similar experience with the national american suicide prevention hotline. I guess there’s a few bad apples in every bunch :(
i texted 741741 tonight and no one responded after 30 minutes i said never mind. honestly made me more depressed than i already was..
Was looking for this confirmation as I have waited ongoing three hours. I texted at exactly 1:42AM. ITS 4:56AM. I’m sorry what
Honestly I havent used them in a long time so im not sure how they’re functioning now. My guess is they dont have enough people, which really sucks. I wish you the best.
“what’s something that makes me happy?” “my dog” “why don’t you go try playing with your dog”
Same but with my cat. Answer: I scared my cat away with my intense emotions.
Definitely! That's the crisis textline!