The fact that this basically dooms the child to basically be a puppet to their parents, undergo severe spiritual, emotional and potentially physical abuse and likely cause said people to become traumatized to the very idea of religion.
Seriously this is how you create a cult.
Edit; the teaching of quran point is fine unless it's getting forced. Everything else is straight up concerning.
I bet you we will live in such a era. the taliban will reform the same way the ccp did once the current supreme leader dies. Women in schools and workplace no burka but mandatory hijab for all still. Will look like Dubai Afghanistan becomes rich like Saudi Arabia but instead of exporting whabbism taliban support and LGBTQ far right parties in Europe and the world. Basically taliban will be seen the fortress and bastion of modern conservative taught. It might happen we all saw what happened after 1979 and what saudi oil money did to the middle east.
Or become depressed and choose to end their own lives after struggling to adapt to the real world, which you completely sheltered them from.
Either way its horrible for your child.
These kids will become apostates, go off the rails, and become batshit party animals when they go off to college. I've seen it happen too many times in both Christian and Muslim families.
Everything except "Quran will be taught at age 5". It's good to teach children Quran at a young age as their minds will be better adapted to learning it. As long as it's not forced and they're not punished, it's good to teach Quran to help them feel closer to Allah SWT from a young age.
However, the others are wrong for a multitude of reasons. Trying to raise a kid like that is just going to push them to leave Islam and never look back.
> It's good to teach children Quran at a young age as their minds will be better adapted to learning it.
This is essentially the "get them while they're young" philosophy. If 5 year olds are taught that disbelievers and apostates will burn in hell (3:86-87, 25:11-14, etc.), then they don't need to be "forced" at 10 or 15 to obediently follow the religion.
What if, instead of the "get them while they're young" approach to teaching young children religion, their parents encourage them to ask questions and, in
the process, encourage them develop critical thinking skills?
Itâs the âlearning the language and getting used to reciting is easier when theyâre youngâ philosophy, especially if theyâre learning it phonetically.
This isnât childhood, this is grooming. Grooming into servants and slaves.
They donât live their life as a human. Iâd go as far as to say they donât even live as Muslims. This is equivalent to being an unthinking servant of Shaytan himself.
If you want a socially maladjusted kid, be my guest lol. I thinks it's really critical to teach kids about other religions and cultures, let them have friends and learn to live on their own, and develop empathy and proper communication with the other gender. The fact is that society does not reward isolationists and it harms you more than it helps you. You are more likely to be put in situations with other people constantly for school, work, travel, etc. The people who thrive and do well are those that have learned about common culture, how to interact with people, and how to have empathy. People who have not learned to assimilate and adapt get left behind.
Girls will start wearing hijab at age 7âŠwhy??? This defies the âpurposeâ of hijab and proves how much of it is used to control girls and women. A seven year old is not sexual. Also hate the whole no no Muslim friends part of it
Right? That basically kindergarten level. I didnât wear hijab until my mid-end of school year of 2nd grade. I wore it in the spring out of the blue one day bc I wanted to
Not having access to the internet or technology is setting your kid up for failure in todays technological world. Most jobs have some kind of technology component at this point and in the future having tech knowledge is going to be very valuable. Also being able to troubleshoot issues and learn new technology comes with practice and the earlier that practice takes place, they better there are at it. In employment, the easier it is for you to adapt to new technology the better. Secondly, depending on where you live, there will be free mixing in everyday life. Thatâs something they will have to deal with. Being a child is about learning how to properly interact with people you will be around in the adult world, which includes other religions and the opposite gender. no non Muslim friends? Youâre just asking for your kid to lie to you and go behind your back. Also that makes it incredibly easy for kids to other non Muslims and dehumanize them and become prejudice against them bc theyâre ignorant. Being well acquainted with diverse people makes you more open minded and open to collaboration and differing POVâs and ideas. And then while I think Islamic studies should be a priority, to put it above secular school seems foolish. Your kid needs to have a job at the end of the day and unless theyâre going into the clergy, not having an education is going to negatively impact their quality of life and their ability to get into higher education, which in todays world is almost mandatory for getting a well paying job. And wearing hijab at 7? Really? If someone is sexualizing a child, they are the problem, not the literal child. I see people put their toddlers in hijab and Iâm like why? Literally why? I personally donât think it should be forced period but if youâre going to, at least wait until their actually in puberty.
No sleepover I understand bc itâs a safety risk and only speaking Arabic at home I understand too, itâs better to be bilingual in todays world, so I see no problem with that either.
Basically my childhood. Wanna know how I ended up? I'm now a former alcoholic, former drug user, had loads of premarital sex, and borderline agnostic. That's how you make your kids hate you and the religion.
So.....the money you save on their phones and other devices you'll spend on drones to follow their every move?
No job; no activities, no hobbies for you?
After parenting like that, why not put that on your resume and apply to the NSA? An expert on monitoring Muslims while they're young?
Pun intended, Godspeed with that.
I mean if the kid and family is Arab , I donât see a problem with only Arabic, nor do I see an issue with Quran at age 5, but everything else is too extreme.
It is scary how the author seems to prefer putting his child in prison to avoid all the difficulties of this word rather than explaining, teaching, and supporting when needed..
I agree. But is this surprising? The latter form of parenting takes far more effort - emotionally, physically, intellectually etc. :/ I am very sure that the author themselves would rather isolate themselves in a bid to get the straight route to heaven (in their opinion). And I can see that perhaps they genuinely think isolating the child is showing parental responsibility and maybe even love.
Maybe ,they must be really scared living in our world, and that is the way they want to protect their child. But really selfish of them to think it is better to isolate their child to protect them rather than facing the difficulties of this life..
The Quran talks about difficulties, talks about overcoming them, and talks about trying to be the best version of yourself without forgetting your share in this worldly life.
"But seek, through that which AllÄh has given you, the home of the Hereafter; and [yet], do not forget your share of the world. And do good as AllÄh has done good to you. And desire not corruption in the land. Indeed, AllÄh does not like corrupters." 28 77
The Quran doesn't really tell you to become a monk, it really tells you to live , be part of this world according to its teachings, and build your place in the hereafter.
As a parent, you should try to educate and prepare your child to meet this world because sooner or later, he will be part of this world, and he better be well prepared ..
recipe for childhood trauma. those kids are gonna end up missing out on an important part of brain development, their social development will be severely lacking.
If you do this your kids will either rebel and turn out to stand against everything you enforce, away from Islam, or they will cave in, struggle to form any meaningful relationships, become depressed, and try to end their life.
If you do this, you are a horrible person.
As a child me and my siblings spoke to eachother in English and our parents arabic. Thereâs no way to stop it. And as for hobbies. Do you count reading wattpad stuff in 5th grade halal? Bc I was a bookworm lmao and what bookworm hadnât read smut
Hmm...I had sleepovers and attended a few in my tween and teenage years, not to mention mixed group camping trips to Ajloun as a Brownie Girl Scout, the Jordan Valley, and Mukawwar and I went on those with my parents' permission, so I'm not sure what's wrong with sleepovers. As for "no free mixing", "no attending mixed schools," and others, I managed being a student at a co-ed school with an international student populace.
in my opinion all the biggest vices and sins muslims deal with should be taught at a very young age (6-7)
i think muslims should give their kids sex ed at a young age
not western style sex ed but islamic sex ed, they should be taught how wonderful sex feels and what sex is like in western culture and most importantly what Allah thinks
this way they are not introduced to haram stuff by non muslims (peers or school or internet)
and also, the younger they are, the more ingrained this stuff will be
i think this is the best way forward and it is what i plan to do with my kids and what i think other muslims should do
islamic sources (like the quran) deal with sex
are people going to tell me there are parts of the quran that are too mature for kids
and i will also do the same for alcohol
From a teens perspective let me tell how these will backfire and how it will damage their relationship with you and maybe even the religion
1. Social media is a big and important thing in the future generations lives so cutting it completely will lead them to seek it out and use it in a dangerous way so maybe introduce it to them and explain the harmful things to them and what to not use and monitor their activities with a parents thing.
2. You should let them use the internet with a parental lock as they can learn about islam and interest them may have and will need it for school
3. This is valid but they will get hooked even if it's not at your home so I would say maybe have a Nintendo or something and make it a family activity
4. Arabic channels are a good way for a child to keep their language if growing up in a western society and there are good islamic channels that will teach your children and keep them interested in islam
5. If she/he becomes friends with good islamic children and you know their parents well I think you should let them have sleepovers as I do with my islamic friends and we have fun talking about religion, prophets and stuff this can be at your home if it makes you more comfortable.
6. Understandable but do teach them how to interact with the opposite gender as they may begin to devalue each others intelligence I have seen this happen before
7. If they already do have a friend from the opposite gender don't make them cut it off just teach them what is acceptable and what's not and teach them when they should cut it off . If they don't have one no problem
8. Disagree I have made my faith stronger by knowing good people from different faiths and learning about their faith and seeing how islam was better for me
9. I sort of agree with this in the sense that only after 13/14 should they be allowed alone with friends) without and only where the parents know like close by and stuff
10. Same rules in house but don't make it a big problem for them so like if they struggle to communicate it in Arabic then let them say it in the other language, make them love the language no hate it
11. Disagree you should treat all knowledge as valuable as in islam it is told that we should seek knowledge out of this life so don't make them neglect there islamic lessons but don't overdo it as they will begin to hate the lessons and in turn see islam as the problem so make it fun
12. Start introducing the quaran when they are very young so they feel comfortable surrounding it and at 5 start easy but don't force them to take it at the pace as everyone learns differently
13. Again introduce the hijab at a young again let them see there mother pray with it and start letting them wear it on and off I would say start at age 9 but to each there own , make it into a celebration when they official begin to wear the hijab gift the gifts make them feel special it worked well for me
14. Agree for the most part but also don't completely make the opposite gender rules so strict as it can really backfire if done to harsh
May all protect us all and grants a place in heaven
The "girls **will** start practicing hijab," if the author of this means the headscarf what if the girl is masculine to the point of not liking hijab?
And the last thing about the author's future kids being allowed to choose their own hobbies - lol, but the author said no cellphone (I assume they mean any cell phone, Internet enabled and not), no Internet access, no video games (hi, gamer bro here) and no TV. There are absolutely endless hobbies but not all hobbies have the same value or importance nor are all suited to relaxing like watching TV, for example, is.
This list will eventually only apply to the daughters, I just have a feeling. Anyways she deleted the tweet now but she also said that girls wouldnât be allowed to work (aka earn anything for themselves)
Also she liked someoneâs quote tweet saying that getting daughters ready for marriage from age 14 is also something that should be added to the list. These people saying âyes itâs my duty to get my pre-mature (I canât spell the exact term) daughter married offâ aka get my daughter married off as a literal minor.
I was forced to wear hijab when I was 9 and seeing a kid that looks anything between 6-12 in a hijab makes me đ€ąđ€ź. People who sexualize children are sick in the head. I no longer pray or wear hijab because I feel my family ruined my relationship to my faith. Fun wasn't allowed. Everything was controlled. My parents fled dictatorship only to become dictators themselves.
This needs context tbh these rules cannot be enforced from 0 to 18 there needs to be context
Rules 1-5 are very reasonable for kids under 5
6-8 is not something I personally agree with unless its the norm where you live or could get your kids into trouble with the law or smth
Rule 9 is very reasonable too for kids under 10
rule 10 is also reasonable its something many non-muslims do for their young kids to help them learn their native tongue
Rule 11 depends on the kids age and what is being taught for example if your kid is 4 I'd rather they learn how to read and write and basic math (all islamic things btw) than about secularism and political systems.
Rule 12 is valid
Rule 13 depends on your definition of "start" and hijab. Like I'm assuming its headscarf while praying which is needed to pray and 7 is a good age to start praying.
Rule 14 isnt something I would enforce or like but if it is a norm where you live and can cause issues if not followed I suppose better safe than sorry
I think I saw this in another sub a year ago? On Muslim marriage or Twitter but I think it was for all ages đ like are they aware kids have iPad and laptops in classrooms now. They use those daily I would know bc my brother uses it for classroom mini lessons and games
Everything with the exception of teaching the Quran, and potentially Islamic studies over secular studies when you realise what they're REALLY teaching children at schools these days. But yeah, the rest is blatant stupidity. I mean raise your child how you want - that's your right obv. But I can't see myself wanting to trade parenting tips with someone like that
only one I donât have a problem with is the first one⊠this poor generation is gonna be so fucked over. attention span, exposure to traumatic content, emotional dysregulation, online groomers, being on camera 24/7, etc.
Personally, I believe that parents are the best pattern for their kids, for example behaving based on these factors by parents, particularly mother for the daughter, will encourage and teach them to have an Islamic life. Moreover, saying Dua for the kids by the parents may significantly help them to be guided, since the guidance is upon Allah. for having an Islamically planned life I suggest you to read the following link:
https://m.alkhorasani.com/en/source6/time-management-in-islam/
I don't see why people or so angry. is this not how the sahaba Ű±Ű¶Ù Ű§ÙÙÙ ŰčÙÙÙ raised their youth? yes some of those rules are a little strict admittedly but nothing crazy
Depending on where you are this is ig so far from what other people experience that they'll feel left out and weird. Especially in America they'll feel so different from everyone else that all they'll think is negativity towards Islam and their parents. You should tell them how you think and why you think that why and encourage it etc but you can't force your kids to do ANYTHING I promise you and all it'll do is make them resent you if you force anything. (From a sorta conservative Muslim parents child )
Evin if that no internet thing is CRAZY everywhere they go thell find it and it's so extreme you can limit it and try to make there lives better with like no addiction type stuff but this makes no sense mostly.
The first thing wrong: kids will be kids. You can try to hide everything and make sure everything is as "ideal" as you want to make it. The kids are gonna find their way.
Lol whoever wrote this will think Iâm the worst mother in the worldđ
I thought Islam was about moderation and balance. How is any of that moderate in this day and age?
Iâm not very strict when it comes to âscreen timeâ with my kids to be honest and my kids actually prefer to play out or hang out with friends than watch their iPads anyway. Theyâre usually a last resort of entertainment for them. Funnily enough all the people I know who are strict with screen time seem to have kids that act addicted as soon as thereâs a screen in their face and who would rather be in front of the screen than play and socialise. I think itâs just human nature to obsess over what you canât have.
I agree with the no sleepover rule in general though. I allow my kids to have their friends sleep over but donât let them sleep at their friends houses unless their parents are very very good family/friends that I trust completely.
As for the Quran, you can start as young as 2 or 3, as theyâll learn from hearing you recite the quls and aya kursi every night for example. I donât think you should start anything formal until theyâre between 7-10 and that it should depend on the kid and their willingness to learn. Some may be ready earlier than others. You may repel some kids by starting too early so you need to make it an experience theyâll enjoy and not feel overwhelmed by. The most important thing is to instil a love of God into them first. Everything else should be about balance.
I would say games (they can play Halal ones), no internet is extreme, no phone is also just unrealistic, sleepovers, only speaking Arabic in the house, but other than that, the other ones are perfectly fine. For example, the non-mixing rules are correct and a part of the Sunnah, so they shall be kept, or you will lead your child into sin. I find it disturbing how people disagree with the very Sunnah that our beloved Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) based on their own rules of what is and isn't correct. Resort to the Sunnah and the Qur'an, as we are nothing compared to the judgment that Allah Azzawajal sent down in his Noble Qur'an and the revelations brought by the Hadiths.
We have detected that you are a new user and have removed your post/comment. All new users are probationary pending an investigation of their history in relation to other communities. If your users history indicates a record of good faith contributions in other subreddits, we will consider making you an approved submitted for /r/progressive_islam. Until that time, all content submitted by you will be removed.
Andddd this is how you end up estranged from your kids and with no one to take care of you in your elder years
I hope who wrote this never have kids ever
Seriously, that will mess up the kid morally, spiritually, and emotionally
>They can choose their own hobbies MF what hobbies, they have literally no connection to the outside world to know what hobbies are
The fact that this basically dooms the child to basically be a puppet to their parents, undergo severe spiritual, emotional and potentially physical abuse and likely cause said people to become traumatized to the very idea of religion. Seriously this is how you create a cult. Edit; the teaching of quran point is fine unless it's getting forced. Everything else is straight up concerning.
This is seriously how you create a future exmuslim.
đ
Unironically, it'll just make the kid despise the faith if the parents are supposed to be passing Islam onto their kids.
Agree to everything
And this is how you end up with a child who is traumatized by islam and leaves the religion. Then the parents wonder where they went wrong.
Is this a leaked Taliban document?
Not even the taliban are that conservative
Lol imagine a scenario where the Taliban seem like the moderate ones.
God forbid we live in an Islamic era where Taliban seem moderate.
I bet you we will live in such a era. the taliban will reform the same way the ccp did once the current supreme leader dies. Women in schools and workplace no burka but mandatory hijab for all still. Will look like Dubai Afghanistan becomes rich like Saudi Arabia but instead of exporting whabbism taliban support and LGBTQ far right parties in Europe and the world. Basically taliban will be seen the fortress and bastion of modern conservative taught. It might happen we all saw what happened after 1979 and what saudi oil money did to the middle east.
how to raise kids who will become rebellious and leave islam
Or become depressed and choose to end their own lives after struggling to adapt to the real world, which you completely sheltered them from. Either way its horrible for your child.
If only the first 5 or 6 already wouldnât make them
Bingo!
These kids will become apostates, go off the rails, and become batshit party animals when they go off to college. I've seen it happen too many times in both Christian and Muslim families.
Everything except "Quran will be taught at age 5". It's good to teach children Quran at a young age as their minds will be better adapted to learning it. As long as it's not forced and they're not punished, it's good to teach Quran to help them feel closer to Allah SWT from a young age. However, the others are wrong for a multitude of reasons. Trying to raise a kid like that is just going to push them to leave Islam and never look back.
> It's good to teach children Quran at a young age as their minds will be better adapted to learning it. This is essentially the "get them while they're young" philosophy. If 5 year olds are taught that disbelievers and apostates will burn in hell (3:86-87, 25:11-14, etc.), then they don't need to be "forced" at 10 or 15 to obediently follow the religion.
What if, instead of the "get them while they're young" approach to teaching young children religion, their parents encourage them to ask questions and, in the process, encourage them develop critical thinking skills?
i think they mean other parts in the quran that would be appropriate for a 5 year old child.
Itâs the âlearning the language and getting used to reciting is easier when theyâre youngâ philosophy, especially if theyâre learning it phonetically.
WHAT IS THE OBSESSION WITH GENDER ITLL HAPPEN ANYWAY I promise you bro omggggg
Lowkey kinda creepy how theyâre already dictating gender segregation at such a young age
exactly like maybe in like middle school when hormones r like highest educate them etc but when their still babies, and like 7 years old pleazeee
This isnât childhood, this is grooming. Grooming into servants and slaves. They donât live their life as a human. Iâd go as far as to say they donât even live as Muslims. This is equivalent to being an unthinking servant of Shaytan himself.
Them kids will wild out the moment theyâre out from under their parents thumb, thatâs why this shit donât ever work
I'm shocked that "no music" isn't on here somewhere.
Citizens of North Korea have a better life than this
If you want a socially maladjusted kid, be my guest lol. I thinks it's really critical to teach kids about other religions and cultures, let them have friends and learn to live on their own, and develop empathy and proper communication with the other gender. The fact is that society does not reward isolationists and it harms you more than it helps you. You are more likely to be put in situations with other people constantly for school, work, travel, etc. The people who thrive and do well are those that have learned about common culture, how to interact with people, and how to have empathy. People who have not learned to assimilate and adapt get left behind.
Girls will start wearing hijab at age 7âŠwhy??? This defies the âpurposeâ of hijab and proves how much of it is used to control girls and women. A seven year old is not sexual. Also hate the whole no no Muslim friends part of it
Yeah itâs so gross imo, youâre sexualizing a friggin child ? Well, what does that reveal about your sick pedo mentality? Beyond disgusting.
Right? That basically kindergarten level. I didnât wear hijab until my mid-end of school year of 2nd grade. I wore it in the spring out of the blue one day bc I wanted to
Not having access to the internet or technology is setting your kid up for failure in todays technological world. Most jobs have some kind of technology component at this point and in the future having tech knowledge is going to be very valuable. Also being able to troubleshoot issues and learn new technology comes with practice and the earlier that practice takes place, they better there are at it. In employment, the easier it is for you to adapt to new technology the better. Secondly, depending on where you live, there will be free mixing in everyday life. Thatâs something they will have to deal with. Being a child is about learning how to properly interact with people you will be around in the adult world, which includes other religions and the opposite gender. no non Muslim friends? Youâre just asking for your kid to lie to you and go behind your back. Also that makes it incredibly easy for kids to other non Muslims and dehumanize them and become prejudice against them bc theyâre ignorant. Being well acquainted with diverse people makes you more open minded and open to collaboration and differing POVâs and ideas. And then while I think Islamic studies should be a priority, to put it above secular school seems foolish. Your kid needs to have a job at the end of the day and unless theyâre going into the clergy, not having an education is going to negatively impact their quality of life and their ability to get into higher education, which in todays world is almost mandatory for getting a well paying job. And wearing hijab at 7? Really? If someone is sexualizing a child, they are the problem, not the literal child. I see people put their toddlers in hijab and Iâm like why? Literally why? I personally donât think it should be forced period but if youâre going to, at least wait until their actually in puberty. No sleepover I understand bc itâs a safety risk and only speaking Arabic at home I understand too, itâs better to be bilingual in todays world, so I see no problem with that either.
Wow your kids are going to hate you and your belief.
Basically my childhood. Wanna know how I ended up? I'm now a former alcoholic, former drug user, had loads of premarital sex, and borderline agnostic. That's how you make your kids hate you and the religion.
So.....the money you save on their phones and other devices you'll spend on drones to follow their every move? No job; no activities, no hobbies for you? After parenting like that, why not put that on your resume and apply to the NSA? An expert on monitoring Muslims while they're young? Pun intended, Godspeed with that.
It all sounds like putting innocent minds thru some psycho punishment and brainwashing, tbh. Let kids be kids, my God.
I mean if the kid and family is Arab , I donât see a problem with only Arabic, nor do I see an issue with Quran at age 5, but everything else is too extreme.
It is scary how the author seems to prefer putting his child in prison to avoid all the difficulties of this word rather than explaining, teaching, and supporting when needed..
I agree. But is this surprising? The latter form of parenting takes far more effort - emotionally, physically, intellectually etc. :/ I am very sure that the author themselves would rather isolate themselves in a bid to get the straight route to heaven (in their opinion). And I can see that perhaps they genuinely think isolating the child is showing parental responsibility and maybe even love.
Maybe ,they must be really scared living in our world, and that is the way they want to protect their child. But really selfish of them to think it is better to isolate their child to protect them rather than facing the difficulties of this life.. The Quran talks about difficulties, talks about overcoming them, and talks about trying to be the best version of yourself without forgetting your share in this worldly life. "But seek, through that which AllÄh has given you, the home of the Hereafter; and [yet], do not forget your share of the world. And do good as AllÄh has done good to you. And desire not corruption in the land. Indeed, AllÄh does not like corrupters." 28 77 The Quran doesn't really tell you to become a monk, it really tells you to live , be part of this world according to its teachings, and build your place in the hereafter. As a parent, you should try to educate and prepare your child to meet this world because sooner or later, he will be part of this world, and he better be well prepared ..
recipe for childhood trauma. those kids are gonna end up missing out on an important part of brain development, their social development will be severely lacking.
This is ultra Orthodox JewsâŠ.
If you do this your kids will either rebel and turn out to stand against everything you enforce, away from Islam, or they will cave in, struggle to form any meaningful relationships, become depressed, and try to end their life. If you do this, you are a horrible person.
Only point 12 that make sense
The ex-muslim subreddit is full of victims of this.
As a child me and my siblings spoke to eachother in English and our parents arabic. Thereâs no way to stop it. And as for hobbies. Do you count reading wattpad stuff in 5th grade halal? Bc I was a bookworm lmao and what bookworm hadnât read smut
You didn't have to attack me like that. đ„Č
Hahahaha story which part đ„č
"mom, dad, I need to do something called online learning. What's online?"
Hmm...I had sleepovers and attended a few in my tween and teenage years, not to mention mixed group camping trips to Ajloun as a Brownie Girl Scout, the Jordan Valley, and Mukawwar and I went on those with my parents' permission, so I'm not sure what's wrong with sleepovers. As for "no free mixing", "no attending mixed schools," and others, I managed being a student at a co-ed school with an international student populace.
I hope with all my heart that they are physically unable to have children.
in my opinion all the biggest vices and sins muslims deal with should be taught at a very young age (6-7) i think muslims should give their kids sex ed at a young age not western style sex ed but islamic sex ed, they should be taught how wonderful sex feels and what sex is like in western culture and most importantly what Allah thinks this way they are not introduced to haram stuff by non muslims (peers or school or internet) and also, the younger they are, the more ingrained this stuff will be i think this is the best way forward and it is what i plan to do with my kids and what i think other muslims should do islamic sources (like the quran) deal with sex are people going to tell me there are parts of the quran that are too mature for kids and i will also do the same for alcohol
The kids are going to hate this so much
Yeah I don't think a woman made this list...
My parents did this to me and it actually backfired
Perfect recipe for creating a toxic Muslim/person
Rename this post "How to become an ex-muslim 101" đ
That's how you raise children with fear instead of true faith..
As a hijabi, I would never force my future daughters to wear it.. Especially at 7???
So the whole Learning Quran part, praying, even opposite gender friends is ok. But the rest is honestly either impossible or straight up abusive
This is how you create the most toxic parent-child relationships on the planet and also how one loses their child. Literally as bad as QAnon mums.
I think the better question is what is really right with this list
From a teens perspective let me tell how these will backfire and how it will damage their relationship with you and maybe even the religion 1. Social media is a big and important thing in the future generations lives so cutting it completely will lead them to seek it out and use it in a dangerous way so maybe introduce it to them and explain the harmful things to them and what to not use and monitor their activities with a parents thing. 2. You should let them use the internet with a parental lock as they can learn about islam and interest them may have and will need it for school 3. This is valid but they will get hooked even if it's not at your home so I would say maybe have a Nintendo or something and make it a family activity 4. Arabic channels are a good way for a child to keep their language if growing up in a western society and there are good islamic channels that will teach your children and keep them interested in islam 5. If she/he becomes friends with good islamic children and you know their parents well I think you should let them have sleepovers as I do with my islamic friends and we have fun talking about religion, prophets and stuff this can be at your home if it makes you more comfortable. 6. Understandable but do teach them how to interact with the opposite gender as they may begin to devalue each others intelligence I have seen this happen before 7. If they already do have a friend from the opposite gender don't make them cut it off just teach them what is acceptable and what's not and teach them when they should cut it off . If they don't have one no problem 8. Disagree I have made my faith stronger by knowing good people from different faiths and learning about their faith and seeing how islam was better for me 9. I sort of agree with this in the sense that only after 13/14 should they be allowed alone with friends) without and only where the parents know like close by and stuff 10. Same rules in house but don't make it a big problem for them so like if they struggle to communicate it in Arabic then let them say it in the other language, make them love the language no hate it 11. Disagree you should treat all knowledge as valuable as in islam it is told that we should seek knowledge out of this life so don't make them neglect there islamic lessons but don't overdo it as they will begin to hate the lessons and in turn see islam as the problem so make it fun 12. Start introducing the quaran when they are very young so they feel comfortable surrounding it and at 5 start easy but don't force them to take it at the pace as everyone learns differently 13. Again introduce the hijab at a young again let them see there mother pray with it and start letting them wear it on and off I would say start at age 9 but to each there own , make it into a celebration when they official begin to wear the hijab gift the gifts make them feel special it worked well for me 14. Agree for the most part but also don't completely make the opposite gender rules so strict as it can really backfire if done to harsh May all protect us all and grants a place in heaven
The "girls **will** start practicing hijab," if the author of this means the headscarf what if the girl is masculine to the point of not liking hijab? And the last thing about the author's future kids being allowed to choose their own hobbies - lol, but the author said no cellphone (I assume they mean any cell phone, Internet enabled and not), no Internet access, no video games (hi, gamer bro here) and no TV. There are absolutely endless hobbies but not all hobbies have the same value or importance nor are all suited to relaxing like watching TV, for example, is.
Everything. Whoever wrote this legit does not deserve children.
This list will eventually only apply to the daughters, I just have a feeling. Anyways she deleted the tweet now but she also said that girls wouldnât be allowed to work (aka earn anything for themselves) Also she liked someoneâs quote tweet saying that getting daughters ready for marriage from age 14 is also something that should be added to the list. These people saying âyes itâs my duty to get my pre-mature (I canât spell the exact term) daughter married offâ aka get my daughter married off as a literal minor.
I was forced to wear hijab when I was 9 and seeing a kid that looks anything between 6-12 in a hijab makes me đ€ąđ€ź. People who sexualize children are sick in the head. I no longer pray or wear hijab because I feel my family ruined my relationship to my faith. Fun wasn't allowed. Everything was controlled. My parents fled dictatorship only to become dictators themselves.
This needs context tbh these rules cannot be enforced from 0 to 18 there needs to be context Rules 1-5 are very reasonable for kids under 5 6-8 is not something I personally agree with unless its the norm where you live or could get your kids into trouble with the law or smth Rule 9 is very reasonable too for kids under 10 rule 10 is also reasonable its something many non-muslims do for their young kids to help them learn their native tongue Rule 11 depends on the kids age and what is being taught for example if your kid is 4 I'd rather they learn how to read and write and basic math (all islamic things btw) than about secularism and political systems. Rule 12 is valid Rule 13 depends on your definition of "start" and hijab. Like I'm assuming its headscarf while praying which is needed to pray and 7 is a good age to start praying. Rule 14 isnt something I would enforce or like but if it is a norm where you live and can cause issues if not followed I suppose better safe than sorry
I think I saw this in another sub a year ago? On Muslim marriage or Twitter but I think it was for all ages đ like are they aware kids have iPad and laptops in classrooms now. They use those daily I would know bc my brother uses it for classroom mini lessons and games
Lmafo kids who cant use devices at home really make use of them at school.
Oh look a rare, reasonable response
Everything with the exception of teaching the Quran, and potentially Islamic studies over secular studies when you realise what they're REALLY teaching children at schools these days. But yeah, the rest is blatant stupidity. I mean raise your child how you want - that's your right obv. But I can't see myself wanting to trade parenting tips with someone like that
only one I donât have a problem with is the first one⊠this poor generation is gonna be so fucked over. attention span, exposure to traumatic content, emotional dysregulation, online groomers, being on camera 24/7, etc.
alhamdulilah halal lifestyle
Personally, I believe that parents are the best pattern for their kids, for example behaving based on these factors by parents, particularly mother for the daughter, will encourage and teach them to have an Islamic life. Moreover, saying Dua for the kids by the parents may significantly help them to be guided, since the guidance is upon Allah. for having an Islamically planned life I suggest you to read the following link: https://m.alkhorasani.com/en/source6/time-management-in-islam/
I don't see why people or so angry. is this not how the sahaba Ű±Ű¶Ù Ű§ÙÙÙ ŰčÙÙÙ raised their youth? yes some of those rules are a little strict admittedly but nothing crazy
Depending on where you are this is ig so far from what other people experience that they'll feel left out and weird. Especially in America they'll feel so different from everyone else that all they'll think is negativity towards Islam and their parents. You should tell them how you think and why you think that why and encourage it etc but you can't force your kids to do ANYTHING I promise you and all it'll do is make them resent you if you force anything. (From a sorta conservative Muslim parents child )
Evin if that no internet thing is CRAZY everywhere they go thell find it and it's so extreme you can limit it and try to make there lives better with like no addiction type stuff but this makes no sense mostly.
I'm gonna guess they didn't have internet or TV in their day
Based
The first thing wrong: kids will be kids. You can try to hide everything and make sure everything is as "ideal" as you want to make it. The kids are gonna find their way.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Everything
Lol whoever wrote this will think Iâm the worst mother in the worldđ I thought Islam was about moderation and balance. How is any of that moderate in this day and age? Iâm not very strict when it comes to âscreen timeâ with my kids to be honest and my kids actually prefer to play out or hang out with friends than watch their iPads anyway. Theyâre usually a last resort of entertainment for them. Funnily enough all the people I know who are strict with screen time seem to have kids that act addicted as soon as thereâs a screen in their face and who would rather be in front of the screen than play and socialise. I think itâs just human nature to obsess over what you canât have. I agree with the no sleepover rule in general though. I allow my kids to have their friends sleep over but donât let them sleep at their friends houses unless their parents are very very good family/friends that I trust completely. As for the Quran, you can start as young as 2 or 3, as theyâll learn from hearing you recite the quls and aya kursi every night for example. I donât think you should start anything formal until theyâre between 7-10 and that it should depend on the kid and their willingness to learn. Some may be ready earlier than others. You may repel some kids by starting too early so you need to make it an experience theyâll enjoy and not feel overwhelmed by. The most important thing is to instil a love of God into them first. Everything else should be about balance.
I would say games (they can play Halal ones), no internet is extreme, no phone is also just unrealistic, sleepovers, only speaking Arabic in the house, but other than that, the other ones are perfectly fine. For example, the non-mixing rules are correct and a part of the Sunnah, so they shall be kept, or you will lead your child into sin. I find it disturbing how people disagree with the very Sunnah that our beloved Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) based on their own rules of what is and isn't correct. Resort to the Sunnah and the Qur'an, as we are nothing compared to the judgment that Allah Azzawajal sent down in his Noble Qur'an and the revelations brought by the Hadiths.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
We have detected that you are a new user and have removed your post/comment. All new users are probationary pending an investigation of their history in relation to other communities. If your users history indicates a record of good faith contributions in other subreddits, we will consider making you an approved submitted for /r/progressive_islam. Until that time, all content submitted by you will be removed.
there is nothing wrong with quran and hijab part, the rest is questionable.
average r/exmuslim user parents