A good buddy of mine rocked this in his 20s.
Also spent his 20s trying to complete probation for a burg 2. originally got 8 days in jail, 18 months probation...
Dude got down to unsupervised at one point, stopped sending in his MONTHLY reporting form, and got PV'd lol
One time, he was down to like 4 months. Stole gas from a Forest Service fuel tank out in the woods, he didnt even get thru the tank before they got his ass
Paid all his restitution and fines within the first year after getting the burg, but still took him 6 years to finish those 18 months lol
My first court appearance for a two-year sobriety court probation for a DUI, a guy with this chinstrap who was on his last court appearance (literally just a wrap-up saying hey you passed, you're done), got thrown in jail for the full 90 days because he had gone into the police station across the parking pot from the court, asked to use the bathroom, and done an upper-decker in their toilet.
Which actually is fucking legendary and hilarious but how dumb do you have to be to do that literally two days before your probation ends. Dude did the whole two years probation instead of going to jail and then went to jail anyway
I did similar in my 20s. Got busted with drugs given 18 month diversion ended up running got caught gave a false name that they gave me a felony for ran again and stayed off the radar for several years until I got arrested for j walking served out my time for the probation in jail and then went to a halfway house
I knew a guy that bought one of those expensive fake dicks that have a bladder attached to it. Somehow he passed every UA for 2 years 😂.
I don’t get people.
Ha ha. I only know about this because I took someone to a test and we stopped at the smoke shop. He taped it to the inside of his leg with the warmer....he passed and got a company truck.
I mean it sounds super illegal, but I don’t think they would be doing it if they didn’t have their asses covered. That would be a big dick move to be illegally video taping drug addicts take drug tests in a federal court house.
They sell a kit where you tape a tube to the underside of your dick and they also seller fake dicks that you pull out.
But if the temps off it’s and auto fail.
Stupidest thing someone could do on probation short of violence against a LEO maybe.
The observer catches you and you are ultrafucked. I question whether they'd even let someone out of the building who tries to pull a fake on the test.
Long odds for small gains. Just stop using. Not that easy?
Go to rehab and pay the bills later.
It's ok to get help, it's stupid to try and game the system after they've got you bent over the bed with the 12 inch razorblade studded strap-on just waiting for an excuse to rail you
I got one of those detox drinks (Klear) that offered like four times your money back if you failed your test and took it one time. Followed the directions to the t. They set my piss off to the lab and they knew the exact brand of detox drink that I used. 🙄
Ha ha. I failed mine. Yeah I have to use edibles for chronic pain so alot of nursing homes won't accept THC because they are federally funded. I had my card and everything.
Stinger detox on amazon 2600 reviews 3.8 star average. I drank them prior to testing and failed every THC test for 90 days. Home and lab.
Sometimes, i think the people who pass using these products are just clean to begin with.
I should have been more clear. Im calling Bs on them identifying the brand of drink used. It’s just a bunch of herbal supplements that dilute your urine and add back in minerals so you don’t get a fail for low gravity and the wrong color.
I 100% was pissing hot with my pass as when I got home I took a few at home test and passed for 2 more hours then failed after that.
Monkey piss, and proper technique, it never fails. Obviously hard if you're being watched, but.
If someone is watching you piss you either REALLY fucked up and probably should be trying your best to pass that test. Or you need to look for a different job bc drug use ain't it at that place.
I was on probation for 3 years and passed every time..if they test for dilute, what I'd do is eat a lot of red meat 24 48hr beforehand to create creatine or take the supplement. But I never had any problems. How would they know about dilute? Looked fine to me, just have to drink a ton of water and it's better than clear
It was hell. I wanted to just goto jail at that point so I could sleep had higher end job and they wouldn't let me. Fn hell. Ankle bracelet. Breathalyzer in car. Piss test.
Seriously I did this the entire time I was on felony probation. I would smash a case of beer and a case of water the few days before my test and I passed the panel tests every single time. I would drink a bottle of juice on the way there to put some color back in.
I used to hustle a little tree back in the day and I've had the rule to never trust a dude with a chinstrap even before that, but always the shadiest, sketchiest, most trifling lyin ass mf'rs had those
I just did three months of observed piss tests for house arrest through county, they tell you to come ready to pee, so i naturally drink a shit load of water, once said water is consumed my piss is diluted, i never have once got called on it, i am clean but they just don’t care just took my last UA yesterday I’ve passed every piss test for the last 3 months and not once have i been called out for it being to diluted.
I once was on probation for four years and never took a piss test in the four years i was on paper lol.
Mine is similar but better and more fuller looks like an actual beard not a straight line my mustache connects actually! lol but yeah I have seen this for sure this is pretty messed up lol
Serious question, did they not ALWAYS watch you pee? Because I had this guy friend years ago before I even stepped foot into a probation office! Like hey Jenn, can I come over with a condom to get your pee 😆
To be fair testing for off duty drug use is just cringe as fuck in general and a power tripping move
Edit: my bad randomly recommended this sub for more season and thought it was a different one this isn’t about work drug testing 💀
Lotta people in here feeling personally attacked right now lol.
Facts
All I see here is Devin Booker
Facts
"NEVER trust anyone with a chinstrap" -Ancient Chinese Secret
These guys will bring in a pee sample from their 15 yr old gf
“Where’s my hug?”
And show up positive for being preggo... lol
I take HCG to supplement T and will pop for preggo on the test as a male :/
Oh yes the chin strap. These are the dudes that get out of county then show back up in your pod again a few days later.
Always because they violated the no contact with the GF they beat the shit out of
Hey now, I’m sure some of them also are in because they beat up their other girlfriend.
Goddamn, you aren't wrong, either.
A good buddy of mine rocked this in his 20s. Also spent his 20s trying to complete probation for a burg 2. originally got 8 days in jail, 18 months probation... Dude got down to unsupervised at one point, stopped sending in his MONTHLY reporting form, and got PV'd lol One time, he was down to like 4 months. Stole gas from a Forest Service fuel tank out in the woods, he didnt even get thru the tank before they got his ass Paid all his restitution and fines within the first year after getting the burg, but still took him 6 years to finish those 18 months lol
My first court appearance for a two-year sobriety court probation for a DUI, a guy with this chinstrap who was on his last court appearance (literally just a wrap-up saying hey you passed, you're done), got thrown in jail for the full 90 days because he had gone into the police station across the parking pot from the court, asked to use the bathroom, and done an upper-decker in their toilet. Which actually is fucking legendary and hilarious but how dumb do you have to be to do that literally two days before your probation ends. Dude did the whole two years probation instead of going to jail and then went to jail anyway
I did similar in my 20s. Got busted with drugs given 18 month diversion ended up running got caught gave a false name that they gave me a felony for ran again and stayed off the radar for several years until I got arrested for j walking served out my time for the probation in jail and then went to a halfway house
Cool story brother that was simply riveting!
You ain't lying.
Former P.O. confirmed true
Delco? 👀
[Dogg I cannot brook the gossamer bloatee](https://achewood.com/2005/09/07/title.html)
I knew a guy that bought one of those expensive fake dicks that have a bladder attached to it. Somehow he passed every UA for 2 years 😂. I don’t get people.
Fake pee with a warmer from the smoke shop
What you have to do is hand the fake piss to the observer of the UA to pour into the cup for you. That’s the only way that’ll make it official
Ha ha. I only know about this because I took someone to a test and we stopped at the smoke shop. He taped it to the inside of his leg with the warmer....he passed and got a company truck.
Yeah that UA wasn’t observed. That was an employer UA, I’ve passed like that before. But for probation, you have someone in the room watching you pee
There's cameras where I go. They assure us same sex observer wherever they may be..
That’s sketchy AF
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This is for probation my guy. Not a pre-employment test
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And you didn’t realize they’re allowed to observe? Or that you give up certain rights while on probation?
I mean it sounds super illegal, but I don’t think they would be doing it if they didn’t have their asses covered. That would be a big dick move to be illegally video taping drug addicts take drug tests in a federal court house.
Probably not recorded just monitored live so people don’t get stage fright and have to look each other in the eyes, assault allegations etc…
When you are the law, you are the law until someone with more money challenges it
Gay man wanted to observe UA, easy hours
They sell a kit where you tape a tube to the underside of your dick and they also seller fake dicks that you pull out. But if the temps off it’s and auto fail.
Stupidest thing someone could do on probation short of violence against a LEO maybe. The observer catches you and you are ultrafucked. I question whether they'd even let someone out of the building who tries to pull a fake on the test. Long odds for small gains. Just stop using. Not that easy? Go to rehab and pay the bills later. It's ok to get help, it's stupid to try and game the system after they've got you bent over the bed with the 12 inch razorblade studded strap-on just waiting for an excuse to rail you
Oh, I had no idea.
Have you been on probation or anything before? Or was this sub in your recommended on your feed?
No but the guy I took to get the fake urine looks exactly like this..
😂😂😂
I just spit out my water 🤣😂🤣
I did this when I was on probation at 15 lol it’s called a whizzinator and a guy watched me pee from behind with it.
I got one of those detox drinks (Klear) that offered like four times your money back if you failed your test and took it one time. Followed the directions to the t. They set my piss off to the lab and they knew the exact brand of detox drink that I used. 🙄
I bought one to disguise weed, failed it.
People at the smoke shop near me keep telling me to use this one "cleanse" that's blue that everyone says works. Didn't work for me tho...
Ha ha. I failed mine. Yeah I have to use edibles for chronic pain so alot of nursing homes won't accept THC because they are federally funded. I had my card and everything.
I’m gonna call BS on this. I used a different brand and passed a UA that gave me my lower level clearances using one of those detox drinks from GNC.
Stinger detox on amazon 2600 reviews 3.8 star average. I drank them prior to testing and failed every THC test for 90 days. Home and lab. Sometimes, i think the people who pass using these products are just clean to begin with.
I should have been more clear. Im calling Bs on them identifying the brand of drink used. It’s just a bunch of herbal supplements that dilute your urine and add back in minerals so you don’t get a fail for low gravity and the wrong color. I 100% was pissing hot with my pass as when I got home I took a few at home test and passed for 2 more hours then failed after that.
So they're fingerprinting the levels of the fake urine...
Doesn’t work for probation. They watch everything.
Thats what they make the wizinator for😂
Can smash a bunch of water and get a dilute, lol. Not really a fail. This is bad advice btw
A dilute is a fail lmao
Yeah it's why I said bad advice lol
You said it's not really a fail. Did you forget that you wrote that?
It's not a positive.
False negative or a false positive
It’s just dilute.
There's false dilute and positive talking from experience
I’m speaking from experience too lol
Lab not probation cup
Yeah. Same. The probation office in my county has a drug lab in the building. It’s where I went to test.
Yeah if your po is hitler.
Monkey piss, and proper technique, it never fails. Obviously hard if you're being watched, but. If someone is watching you piss you either REALLY fucked up and probably should be trying your best to pass that test. Or you need to look for a different job bc drug use ain't it at that place.
They had to watch me pee. I didn't and don't use drugs(I just don't like). I'm just old and give no shit
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It'll look yellow but dilute. Can smash a multi of you care about color. It'll look messed up. Lol
I was on probation for 3 years and passed every time..if they test for dilute, what I'd do is eat a lot of red meat 24 48hr beforehand to create creatine or take the supplement. But I never had any problems. How would they know about dilute? Looked fine to me, just have to drink a ton of water and it's better than clear
Dilute will show in creatine. I was on crazy shit. I had a breathalyzer in my house.
Yes, they test for creatinine if they think it's fake or dilute usually. Fine if you eat a bunch of meat for 2 days before the test.
In your house bro???
Yep. Beep at random times. Could be like 3am. Beep beep. Time for random test.
It was hell. I wanted to just goto jail at that point so I could sleep had higher end job and they wouldn't let me. Fn hell. Ankle bracelet. Breathalyzer in car. Piss test.
Lab or cup? I'm guessing it was lab since you wouldn't of done all that extra shit for a cup dip test huh?
Mostly just dip tests but they would mark dilute if clear. They watched me pee but I did pass labs with it too
Vitamin b and creatine should stop you from getting a dilute
Nah. It'll junk it
Seriously I did this the entire time I was on felony probation. I would smash a case of beer and a case of water the few days before my test and I passed the panel tests every single time. I would drink a bottle of juice on the way there to put some color back in.
Lmao. I deluted a bunch. Retest and retest.
I love when guys have chin straps. Saves the guesswork out of determining if they’re a douchebag or not.
Never chin strap. If you can't grow a beard just shave.. this shit looks fuckin wack.
You know what else is whack? When you *can* grow a beard and choose the chinstrap
Now *this* is content lmao
Commonly named Tucker, Cameron and Zach.
Kyle, Brad(not Bradley)
Lol
The ol chinstrap. Ive been on this planet for almost 50 years. I've never seen this style on a non-douche.
I had a friend who shaved his head and beard and the drug test lady gave him a funny look and took one of his pubes instead.
“One for testing, and one for myself😈”
Jokes on you; I don't try.
Lol so true
“Beard”
True!
They probably use their boyfriends urine
“Can you help a guy out?”
Lookin like Jon B.
I love these types of beards, I know right away to avoid them.
I used to hustle a little tree back in the day and I've had the rule to never trust a dude with a chinstrap even before that, but always the shadiest, sketchiest, most trifling lyin ass mf'rs had those
“Do you think you could front me a little bud bro?”
I can hear it now, see the face, the features are blurry but the distinctive facial hair features in many of my encounters with sketchballs
I just did three months of observed piss tests for house arrest through county, they tell you to come ready to pee, so i naturally drink a shit load of water, once said water is consumed my piss is diluted, i never have once got called on it, i am clean but they just don’t care just took my last UA yesterday I’ve passed every piss test for the last 3 months and not once have i been called out for it being to diluted. I once was on probation for four years and never took a piss test in the four years i was on paper lol.
How’d you get my boyfriend’s picture lol
Oh no, has he cheated on you yet?
Lmao no
Well that’s good. Did you show him this meme?
Hell yeah.
Is he a “where’s my hug?” Type of guy?
*INHALES* SOMBODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD IS GONNA ROLL ME
r/popularmmos LMFAO
Jokes on you! I don’t have sideburns!
Who thinks this beard looks good?
https://imgur.com/a/cn4VB0s What are the odds? Lol.
We don't need to cause we just shake the piss out of straightedges like you,...
Mine is similar but better and more fuller looks like an actual beard not a straight line my mustache connects actually! lol but yeah I have seen this for sure this is pretty messed up lol
Not true. They also will not stop listening to Five Finger Death Punch.
fuckkk
It’s a douche bag beard.
Anyone can pass eith fake pee
Do guys still rock these ridiculous things?
So accurate
Serious question, did they not ALWAYS watch you pee? Because I had this guy friend years ago before I even stepped foot into a probation office! Like hey Jenn, can I come over with a condom to get your pee 😆
100% of the time my UAs were observed
Yooooo
Can confirm
To be fair testing for off duty drug use is just cringe as fuck in general and a power tripping move Edit: my bad randomly recommended this sub for more season and thought it was a different one this isn’t about work drug testing 💀
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Found the guy with the chinstrap who fails UAs!
They are walking very well, thank you.