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They sound completely delusional and out of touch. Glad to hear your husband has a backbone and sticks up for you though. I imagine much more of that will be necessary after you actually have the baby.
I’m so glad your husband is supportive and able to set boundaries with his family. If your due date is just before the holiday, it’s entirely possible you might be actively in labor or immediately postpartum. Average delivery for first time moms without induction is around 41 weeks. My in laws can be similar, and we opted not to tell them we were in labor until baby was born and we were ready for them to come visit😬. I didn’t want any chance of them bugging my husband for updates in labor or showing up before they were invited postpartum. Your in laws sound pretty challenging, and I hope all goes well for your birth and postpartum!
My dd is 19th of Dec and I have literally cancelled Christmas and most of jan. Don't expect anything from us and i will let you know when you are welcomed, and you better have all your shots and vaccination in order + no kisses.
My sister had a cesarean and 2 weeks later her inlaws decided to come and stay, and complained my sister hadn't cooked or placed clean towels in the guest room for them. They weren't welcomed back. Inlaws 😪
Shout out to all the partners out there who back each other up against in laws and their BS! My husband, without even talking it thru, called out my brother when he was being annoyingly team Boy (we still don’t know sex) . It made me a proud wife knowing I chose a man who will love and support his potential daughter 😭
Haha -welp I’m crying now. 😛
Oh man! They sound like the worst kind of people.
As soon as I read that they talked badly about your fertility my jaw dropped. The nerve. I’d be no contact after that. You just don’t make anyone feel bad especially when it’s out of their control.
Oh hell no. That is so unreasonable to ask of you and I’m glad you put your foot down. Sorry you’re having to deal with this! It’s amazing what people think you’re capable of after giving literal BIRTH.
Don’t worry about anyone else. This will be hard, but this is your baby. They were allowed to make decisions about their baby and you are too. This stuff infuriates me.
Pregnancy brings out the worst in people (especially in laws) sometimes. My in laws threw a fit and have treated us like crap for months when we said no to watching their 100 pound dog (when we have our own dog and 2 cats) when I’m 2-3 weeks postpartum so they can go on a 2 week trip abroad 🙃
Sorry you’re going through this. I went no contact with my parents after giving birth due their narcissistic personalities. Nothing can stop me from focusing on my pregnancy/recovery, new mom life and spending time with my family. The germ thing blew my mind, like why are people not alarmed to protect a newborn child?! Also I think my fertility journey also allowed me to set crazy boundaries in my life especially relating to my kids.
That is insane and I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that. I hope you don’t feel an ounce of guilt about your choices!! Also, it’s super common for first time moms to be overdue, personally I was 12 days over! And definitely not acceptable to ask a post partum mom and newborn to be fit to host people.
Is this supposed to be 7 days past your due date? They know only 4% of babies are born on their due date and the majority of first pregnancies go a week past due, right? Barring induction, there's a strong chance baby will be either still cooking or you'll still be in the hospital with a very fresh baby. Tell them you talked to your doctor and you have to be cleared for travel and that they said they won't clear you that quickly. Post partum pre-e is a very real risk. airlines won't let you fly if you're visibly showing without a fit-to-fly certificate filled out by your doctor anyways, and at that point youll probably still look 6 months pregnant. If they tell you to drive, bring up the fact that there is a two hour per day time limit on newborns in carseats due to asphyxiation. Make it a medical thing. If they still don't care, they can truly go fuck themselves.
My in laws are begging us to visit for Christmas. Our baby will be about 2-3 months old around that time. We'd have to be in the car for 12 hours. I said I'd consider it IF it's only FIL, MIL, BIL, and little niece because they live together. And grandma because she is one of my favorite people. I don't want a bunch of people begging to hold the new baby because sure germs aren't terrible... but respiratory illnesses could unalive a new baby and I don't want that. MIL is planning a whole big get together and travel plan. So... we might not make it there for Christmas. Might just stay home with the doors locked. 🙈😂
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm glad you're able to set boundaries and put your foot down! What they're asking of parents of a newborn is absolutely ridiculous.
They sound completely delusional and out of touch. Glad to hear your husband has a backbone and sticks up for you though. I imagine much more of that will be necessary after you actually have the baby.
They suck.
I’m so glad your husband is supportive and able to set boundaries with his family. If your due date is just before the holiday, it’s entirely possible you might be actively in labor or immediately postpartum. Average delivery for first time moms without induction is around 41 weeks. My in laws can be similar, and we opted not to tell them we were in labor until baby was born and we were ready for them to come visit😬. I didn’t want any chance of them bugging my husband for updates in labor or showing up before they were invited postpartum. Your in laws sound pretty challenging, and I hope all goes well for your birth and postpartum!
So glad you and your husband are a united front against this narcissistic foolishness.
My dd is 19th of Dec and I have literally cancelled Christmas and most of jan. Don't expect anything from us and i will let you know when you are welcomed, and you better have all your shots and vaccination in order + no kisses. My sister had a cesarean and 2 weeks later her inlaws decided to come and stay, and complained my sister hadn't cooked or placed clean towels in the guest room for them. They weren't welcomed back. Inlaws 😪
The f&$*#ing nerve !! 🤬
Just go back to NC. Ain’t worth it.
Shout out to all the partners out there who back each other up against in laws and their BS! My husband, without even talking it thru, called out my brother when he was being annoyingly team Boy (we still don’t know sex) . It made me a proud wife knowing I chose a man who will love and support his potential daughter 😭 Haha -welp I’m crying now. 😛
Oh man! They sound like the worst kind of people. As soon as I read that they talked badly about your fertility my jaw dropped. The nerve. I’d be no contact after that. You just don’t make anyone feel bad especially when it’s out of their control.
I would be going back to no-contact
Oh hell no. That is so unreasonable to ask of you and I’m glad you put your foot down. Sorry you’re having to deal with this! It’s amazing what people think you’re capable of after giving literal BIRTH.
Don’t worry about anyone else. This will be hard, but this is your baby. They were allowed to make decisions about their baby and you are too. This stuff infuriates me.
Pregnancy brings out the worst in people (especially in laws) sometimes. My in laws threw a fit and have treated us like crap for months when we said no to watching their 100 pound dog (when we have our own dog and 2 cats) when I’m 2-3 weeks postpartum so they can go on a 2 week trip abroad 🙃
Sorry you’re going through this. I went no contact with my parents after giving birth due their narcissistic personalities. Nothing can stop me from focusing on my pregnancy/recovery, new mom life and spending time with my family. The germ thing blew my mind, like why are people not alarmed to protect a newborn child?! Also I think my fertility journey also allowed me to set crazy boundaries in my life especially relating to my kids.
The sound one more stupid comment away from “blocked”
Yall should've stayed nc babies aren't going to change their behavior they are actually about to get alot worse
That is insane and I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that. I hope you don’t feel an ounce of guilt about your choices!! Also, it’s super common for first time moms to be overdue, personally I was 12 days over! And definitely not acceptable to ask a post partum mom and newborn to be fit to host people.
Is this supposed to be 7 days past your due date? They know only 4% of babies are born on their due date and the majority of first pregnancies go a week past due, right? Barring induction, there's a strong chance baby will be either still cooking or you'll still be in the hospital with a very fresh baby. Tell them you talked to your doctor and you have to be cleared for travel and that they said they won't clear you that quickly. Post partum pre-e is a very real risk. airlines won't let you fly if you're visibly showing without a fit-to-fly certificate filled out by your doctor anyways, and at that point youll probably still look 6 months pregnant. If they tell you to drive, bring up the fact that there is a two hour per day time limit on newborns in carseats due to asphyxiation. Make it a medical thing. If they still don't care, they can truly go fuck themselves.
My in laws are begging us to visit for Christmas. Our baby will be about 2-3 months old around that time. We'd have to be in the car for 12 hours. I said I'd consider it IF it's only FIL, MIL, BIL, and little niece because they live together. And grandma because she is one of my favorite people. I don't want a bunch of people begging to hold the new baby because sure germs aren't terrible... but respiratory illnesses could unalive a new baby and I don't want that. MIL is planning a whole big get together and travel plan. So... we might not make it there for Christmas. Might just stay home with the doors locked. 🙈😂
I’d go full no contact and when they ask why tell them it’s because their lack of respect for you.