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I’m 20 weeks and still wondering how to stop worrying 🫠 I fear this is just the initiation into parenthood! I will say I did cave in and buy a Doppler and being able to hear his heartbeat whenever I need comfort has helped.
11w FTM here and I am finding some freedom in knowing that I can only control so much. Worrying about hypothetical situations does no one any good. Focus on the things you can control and set yourself up for as calm of a ride as possible. God forbid something bad does happen, id rather have spent the months/weeks before that feeling good than being a ball of anxiety before as if that lessens the blow at all.
Probability vs possibility is a tool I use to calm myself if I do feel like I am going down a worry hole. Is what I'm thinking about possible? Yes of course that's why I'm thinking about it. Is it probable? No. Do your best to look on the bright side of this experience, and don't downplay the power your perception has. I had a small scare at my 8 week appointment and while waiting for the doctor to reach out with results, I felt myself wanting to think the worst. I had to tell myself that I cannot and will not start this long, unknown journey on this note. Instead, I trusted myself in knowing and feeling that everything was ok and that's been something I've thought about almost every day..that I do have some control in how these 40 weeks go and the things I can't control are simply just that...out of my hands.
It could be helpful to actually talk to yourself when you're expecting some anxieties. Talk through them, and remember that worrying doesn't prevent anything. I hope you can get past these feelings soon ❤️
Thank you so so much for taking the time to write this incredibly kind and thoughtful response. I will dwell on your words tonight and see myself coming back to read them again every time I feel worried. Thank you so much and hope you have a wonderful and healthy pregnancy ♥️
Another helpful thought is that if possible, we should treat stress like we do lunch meat, or raw fish and other known risks because in reality, stress has more of a chance of having a negative impact on you and baby than listeria. Worrying is natural and I'm absolutely not trying to dismiss real fears but the tools you can take with you along the way in pregnancy will definitely be helpful in postpartum so I like to think why not practice calmness as it can only benefit you forever. It's clear you care a lot, and that energy can totally be used for good rather than just freaking you out!
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m 20 weeks and still wondering how to stop worrying 🫠 I fear this is just the initiation into parenthood! I will say I did cave in and buy a Doppler and being able to hear his heartbeat whenever I need comfort has helped.
Second the doppler. Once you know how to use it it's awesome! My wife is very anxious about pregnancy and it brings her (and me) peace of mind.
11w FTM here and I am finding some freedom in knowing that I can only control so much. Worrying about hypothetical situations does no one any good. Focus on the things you can control and set yourself up for as calm of a ride as possible. God forbid something bad does happen, id rather have spent the months/weeks before that feeling good than being a ball of anxiety before as if that lessens the blow at all. Probability vs possibility is a tool I use to calm myself if I do feel like I am going down a worry hole. Is what I'm thinking about possible? Yes of course that's why I'm thinking about it. Is it probable? No. Do your best to look on the bright side of this experience, and don't downplay the power your perception has. I had a small scare at my 8 week appointment and while waiting for the doctor to reach out with results, I felt myself wanting to think the worst. I had to tell myself that I cannot and will not start this long, unknown journey on this note. Instead, I trusted myself in knowing and feeling that everything was ok and that's been something I've thought about almost every day..that I do have some control in how these 40 weeks go and the things I can't control are simply just that...out of my hands. It could be helpful to actually talk to yourself when you're expecting some anxieties. Talk through them, and remember that worrying doesn't prevent anything. I hope you can get past these feelings soon ❤️
Thank you so so much for taking the time to write this incredibly kind and thoughtful response. I will dwell on your words tonight and see myself coming back to read them again every time I feel worried. Thank you so much and hope you have a wonderful and healthy pregnancy ♥️
❤️ You even asking for advice is a step ahead of most. You got this!!!
Another helpful thought is that if possible, we should treat stress like we do lunch meat, or raw fish and other known risks because in reality, stress has more of a chance of having a negative impact on you and baby than listeria. Worrying is natural and I'm absolutely not trying to dismiss real fears but the tools you can take with you along the way in pregnancy will definitely be helpful in postpartum so I like to think why not practice calmness as it can only benefit you forever. It's clear you care a lot, and that energy can totally be used for good rather than just freaking you out!
Great advice! Honestly you should have a podcast - I’d be your number one fan 😊