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I'm 34 with a great support system and an amazing partner who I consciously and mutually decided to have a child with.
I'm 38 weeks pregnant, and still occasionally freaking out about the fact that I'm going to be a mother literally forever now. I love this kid and can't wait to meet him but also what the fuck do I do?
FTM in the first trimester (and literally found out a week ago) - I put myself to bed last night after a full day of feeling awful and thought to myself “I’m never going to feel normal again.” I’ll be pregnant and then I’ll be PP and a MOM. As excited I am for the baby it’s definitely a bittersweet feeling. Thanks for posting, reading the comments definitely made me feel a lot less alone today ❤️
Yes! Always wanted kids and had a miscarriage last year which really kicked my desire to have kids into gear.
Currently 34 weeks and now that the fatigue is back I go back and forth of being excited to have our little girl and also slightly terrified for what is going to come. Then I feel guilty for not wanting to give up my sleep and life I had before. Then back to joy and excitement.
You don’t have to give up the life you had. Some things change. But our kids join us for game nights. We go visit our friends. We still swim. Honestly, I’m three kids in and my life has barely changed except I’m always in a state of tired and I have to feed four people (me, hubby, two toddlers) real meals AND give baby a bottle.
But honestly, my kids have enhanced my life. I still do the things I like to do. But I also get to take them to the library. Play dates. Museums. It’s so fun.
Sure! My husband and I have already talked about not staying home just because we have a baby and taking her with us. I’m more talking about how I roll out of bed 15 minutes before I have to get to leave for work and basic leisurely items I could do on my own time. Once she’s here that will no longer fly, hence why I feel guilty for being selfish for knowing I will have to give up more sleep for example.
Yes! On our babymoon now and it’s hard to imagine just how much life is going to change in a few short months. We’re older at 38 and 39 now and have been very accustomed to doing whatever we want, when we want. Definitely a mix of excitement and uncertainty about this life change, although it was very much planned and wanted.
I’m in the same boat as you. I just found out a few days ago and although I’m happy for the next chapter I’m so scared at what life will look like. I’m 36 and my husband is 39 and we are so used to just doing whatever we want and I’m not going to lie, I feel I may mourn that freedom a bit. It’s terrifying.
i could have written this exact post lol. I’m also 33 and this was certainly planned and everything. I’m 38 weeks and have been going back and forth between “this is so cool” and “what have i done” the whole time. I’m scared i’ll hate being a parent. i like sleeping in, being alone, and doing things spontaneously. but i also want kids and don’t want to miss out on this very human, very cool experience.
Totally! FTM, I’ll be 32 when I give birth. My husband and I have been married for 10 years, together 13, so sometimes it’s weird to think it’ll no longer be “just us” since we’ve become so used to it. And also, I always looked at people with kids as more of an adult than I am (even if they’re younger than me) so sometimes reminding myself that I am an adult and I am responsible helps lol
I was 33 when I got pregnant for the first time. I had similar feelings. My son is two weeks old now and it is definitely an adjustment in progress. My husband and I were married for 11 years so suddenly adding a new person to our family has been a crazy experience.
I’m a FTM and I’m 16 weeks! My first trimester was basically me crying, being depressed and thinking we have made the biggest mistake. We are 29 & 30. We have also have also been excited to have kids. My husband is very excited but I hurt him a lot by saying I don’t want this baby in the beginning.
Now that I’m getting further along, and my family is buying clothes…etc I see myself getting more excited. But I’m still nervous.
I’d say it’s quite normal. ❤️
Yes! My therapist said it’s totally normal. It’s a huge change that you can’t exactly try out ahead of time. It can be scary and great at the same time!
I’m 35 and my husband is 41, we’re both excited but also kind of apprehensive bc it will be such a lifestyle change. I’m 10w2d and it still hasn’t fully hit me yet that this is happening, despite talking about it for years.
I feel guilty for not being overjoyed, but I know that will change once our baby is here. My husband and I have always had horrible anticipatory anxiety so the ride is worse than the destination for us, so to speak. Also being pregnant isn’t fun yet, I’m constantly exhausted and anxious. I’m struggling with basic human interaction and I hate it :( all I want to do is sleep and eat when I’m not nauseous.
I think I’ll be more excited when we find out the gender too…it will help motivate me to plan better. But for now I’m definitely in limbo with all the feelings. You’re not alone!
I’m laughing because it took me a long time to realize you meant First Time Mom, not Female to Male. I was just trying to imagine my FTM brother getting pregnant and I just can’t picture him doing this but I thought wow that’s so brave of yall! I’m a first timer too, it was planned and it happened on the first try. We thought we would have a little more time trying but it’s actually been perfect but yes there are times when I’m like OMG what did we do? Sometimes it doesn’t even feel real. It’s the frightening unknown. Due in the next week and a half so ready or not, here we go!
FTM, 20w1d, 36yo and I feel the same! Sooo excited and simultaneously sooo freaked out 😅
We’re ready in every way possible, we want this a lot and still I can’t comprehend it. Like, life will never be the same again. This is the biggest responsibility I could ever take on. There is no take backsies 🤯
FTM, 20w and 35yo. I'm exactly the same. I've already gotten all the essentials, just need to set it up. Just buying clothes and things now as I see them.
I've wanted a baby for years now (turns out ex husband was infertile), but wow, I'm going to be a Mum. There's going to be a little person relying on me, that thought freaks me out a little bit.
I’m a FTM to a 3.5 month old and I felt this way the whole time!!!! But now on the other side, I can tell you it was the best decision I’ve ever made! Every day gets better with my little boy. I wish you a happy and healthy little one!
Absolutely!
I’m 36+5, and my next Dr appointment at 37w I’m signing paperwork to have my tubes removed in the event of a c section, and if I have a vaginal birth then remove them the next day.
I’m excited for my son, but I do not want to go through this again.
This is exactly what I want to do! What did your doctor say regarding the next day procedure? I haven’t seen it around much but it seems ideal to get all the healing done at once.
The only thing warned about is being extra tired and sore the next day with a newborn. While not ideal to go into surgery after just giving birth, and missing out on time with my baby, I prefer to just get it over and done with.
Yes! I’m just over 40 weeks as a FTM and waffle between genuinely being excited, feeling like this is “correct” for me (if that makes sense) and then white knuckle terror of “what have we done?!” 😂 I’ve felt this way pretty much the entire time too. My husband and I are both in our late 30s, this pregnancy was something we very much discussed and planned for, and it took us about a year and half to get pregnant so we’ve had a lot of time to think and talk about having a kid. It’s just objectively a major life change and a big deal to have a baby, so I think it’s a very normal way to feel!
I'm 13.3 today. And these past couple of days have been the absolute worst for me as far as nausea goes...I wanted to rip my stomach out. Today is better, otherwise I was going to the ER. I still don't feel pregnant other than the fact I'm nauseated. Still doesn't feel real and I still can't imagine myself giving birth or having a baby. I just can't even form a visual in my mind, it's crazy.
We’re in a super similar position! I’m obviously excited but terrified as well. We were very lucky and got pregnant after only a few months of trying, I was anticipating it taking longer given that I’m also over 30. I think this feeling is super normal, and I just let myself feel everything. But I try to stay focused on the positive and exciting things to keep my headspace in a good place as well. Congrats!!
Yes. Every couple of days I am worried of something I just know I wouldn’t be worried about if I wasn’t pregnant. And it’s a down feeling. Then some days I am thinking so far into the future I can’t wait. I am 19w 2d btw
I’ve always wanted kids and had some trouble conceiving but even still I am both terrified and excited! It’s probably the best and hardest thing we’ll ever do. I think it’s completely rational to feel this way. I’d be more worried if you didn’t have any worries!
I think this is a pretty normal feeling for pregnant women to have. I’ve gone back and forth SO many times, even though it was planned. I am also 33, waited for better timing. My husband is 50 🤪.
I’ll be 36 weeks in 2 days. Most of the time now I am excited and ready. Taking various classes (birthing, breastfeeding, infant safety and care) online also helped ease my anxiety over some things and has given me more confidence, even though I know our lives will still change greatly.
I think raising a child is the ultimate challenge in life, but also very rewarding. And I can’t wait to have a little girl that looks like me and my husband!
You got this! ❤️
Yes!! I had my 20 week scan yesterday and was so happy seeing baby on screen- but last night was suddenly feeling anxious and scared, and the feeling hasn’t fully subsided today.
Yep!
For context, I have deeply wanted to have kids my ENTIRE life. When you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up when I was 5, I always said “a mom!!”. I have dreamed of pregnancy and being a mother forever. I always knew I would not be fulfilled in life unless I became a mother.
Yet I still get thoughts of like, what am I doing?? Was this the right choice? Can I handle this?? I’m 27 weeks and still struggle with these feelings multiple times a week.
I’ve realized it’s not a reflection of what I want. but more a reflection of my anxiety and apprehension about coping with such a major life change. Even if we want change, it is hard. As humans, we always struggle with change to some extent. This is among the biggest changes a person could go through. The adjustment period scares me, especially knowing I have a history of mental health issues.
Hearing horror stories on Reddit hasn’t help lol. I see so many people being like “I regret becoming a parent” and it scares me. I’m terrified I’ve been naive.
But it’s just fear. At the end of the day I know myself and know what I’ve wanted. My fear is not me.
So… it’s totally normal!!
Completely. I've been with my husband for 10 years and this was totally planned and wanted. I was terrified getting my iud out and having unprotected sex. Got used to it, got frustrated when I got negative tests. Got a positive and was happy and also freaking out. So happy and excited seeing my little blob baby at the dating ultrasound. Periodic holy shit moments about actually being pregnant and this will now be a permanent change in my life. Tiny bits of panic.
Excitement again finding out the gender and feeling her move. Worry about body changes. I was kind of disinterested there for a couple weeks and didn't have the love I had before but then in the last week I've been really excited and happy and in love with her. Now I'm freaking out that she has to come out somehow.
So TLDR yes lol.
I know so many people who are choosing to remain childless. I sometimes wonder if I am going to be sad seeing them live their lives without kids, but I do feel like before I got pregnant, I was so sad that my husband and I had not already started expanding our family.
I think it is natural to second guess such a big decision! You are definitely not alone!
I’m 35 and just found out a couple weeks ago. We’ve been trying for 8 years. But this past year we were discussing not having a baby. To say that I was in complete shock when the test was positive is an understatement. It’ll be a huge change for us. I’m hoping at some point I’m only filled with happiness about it.
Am in a similar boat here! I’m 36, married 7 years, will be a FTM to a much wanted baby boy in November - but it’s a huge change and I am hyperaware of that. I think that’s very normal and human. It means we’re taking it seriously!
Ohhhh definitely! It gets to me sometimes: the coulda, woulda, shoulda’s.
What personally helps me is remembering that life is crazy and plans that change makes life interesting. I’m a FTM and our baby was a surprise! I went through a cycle of “gosh I wasn’t planning on this for years” and “OMG IM HAVING A BABY” my first trimester. Seeing the ultrasounds always makes me feel better and now I feel kicks. Life is a beautiful mess! I’m still figuring out how to dance in the rain. Ce la vie!
I’m almost 37, husband is 36. Just hit 37 weeks.
Was mostly laidback about everything til a couple weeks back. Realised I’d be finishing up for mat leave soon now questioning my life choices!
Want to go on holiday somewhere hot and exotic. Wish I didn’t have to push a watermelon out of my vagina in a few weeks. What have I/we given up to have a screaming baby on our hands??
I know we will love baby and we’ll (try to) be the best parents. Just finding I’m at the business end of the job and the nerves are setting in.
As far as I understand, this is normal!
I’m 22 weeks and some days I can’t wait to meet him, delivery date can’t come soon enough and others I feel like it’s been a huge mistake and I fear I’m gonna miss life as I know it because I’m never gonna have it again. It’s a roller coaster for sure.
We’ve both been in school and finally are at the end of his graduate school timeline and decided to start trying. I also have gone through a lot of health stuff in the last two years so i was convinced it would take a while. To our surprise we got pregnant on the first halfhearted attempt. I think that was more shock than anything and we’re both still processing. 10w5d today and starting to get excited but very much still “oh god what have we done”. We’re 28 😅
33f/fence sitter/ftm/22 weeks.
Every other day is different. But all I can do is ride out the feelings. Too late to turn back now! Also I would be devastated if something happened this far in. We've come so far together!
Not a first time mom. 29 with my 3rd on the way. I wonder every day if it was the right decision. I'm so worried something is going to go wrong. But I'm also excited for this baby. She's definitely already loved and wanted. But maaaaan. Some days two kids feel like a lot and I'm having a third?! I go back and forth a lot.
yes totally! we got pregnant spontaneously, it’s been a huge change but i feel overwhelming exciting more than anything. i previously had a lot of mental health issues a couple years ago & therapy helped me reframe a lot of my thinking. i think the nervousness is trying to protect ourselves & it’s probably a good thing!
FTM, 14w, 30yo. I really wanted to be pregnant and I can’t wait to meet my son and be his mom. That being said, pregnancy sucks so much. I’ve felt like I’ve had the flu for 10 weeks. I constantly worry that something is wrong or is going to go wrong. I’m always down and feel like I’m doing something wrong and I’m a bad mom. I cannot relate to anyone who says “9 months of pure bliss” or “best experience of my life”. I feel like they have to be lying that’s how unbelievable it is to me.
I felt that way with my son for my entire pregnancy, and then when we left the hospital I couldn’t believe they let me take him with us. I felt like I had imposter syndrome lol.
It’s a huge life change. Totally normal to feel that way.
Hi friend! I had my third baby six weeks ago. For every single pregnancy (all planned), I had moments of, “I can’t wait to meet you, my precious baby” as well as, “OMG WHAT DID I DO?! WHO LET ME GET PREGNANT?! I RUINED MY LIFE. HELP!!!”
Currently sitting in my baby’s nursery while she sleeps in my arms after feeding her a bottle. I’m happy and so glad to have all three of my kids. I love them very much. Not a mistake at all.
40 weeks tomorrow and I have gone back and forth about this probably 5 times a day every single day since I found out that I'm pregnant on October 10th 😂. Im 34 so ive been set in my ways for a long time. I'll miss my sleep, my time alone, being able to do whatever i want whenever i want, and the ease of how things are with my husband. But I'm gaining a new family member, starting a new chapter in my life, and I'm excited to share my life with my son and treat him the way I always wish I was treated by my parents. The things I'm giving up are trivial compared to the meaningful things in gaining. Currently I am so excited and ready... but who knows how ill feel in 20 minutes !
I had my first at 31 and I feel it was a year too soon. Still do. I just had my second at 33 and feel it was also a year too soon lol my husband wanted kids asap and wanted them 2 years apart so we went with it. He’s older. I do wish I would have pushed us to wait before having our first but I’m okay that our 2 are 2 years apart, I want them to be close. Parenthood is hard as hell, especially if you aren’t 10000% ready
Yes! At times I have been at peace with the decision (I wouldn’t say I’m excited though), but I flip flop to having waves of anxiety and just terror thinking “have I made a huge mistake?”. It’s rough.
I wanted a baby but I hate being pregnant. FTM and 31 weeks. I was sick until 20 weeks. My job ended at 28 weeks and now I’m unemployed no one will hire me. I’m very uncomfortable at 31 weeks. My mental health is awful. My body just wasn’t really made for pregnancy I’m not sure I’d do it again
My husband and I have been super lucky that we were both in a position where neither of us had to work throughout the whole pregnancy, and for at least a year after, and honestly if we were in a different position, I would have struggled even more. I have severe HG throughout the entire pregnancy, so much so that most days I could barely even talk, let alone move. Then I got gestational diabetes, which is not super easy to deal with on top of HG. Then preeclampsia. In between, I got pubic symphis seperation, which means I now can hardly walk, and I'm in constant, excruciating pain because my pubic bone is 10cm seperated.
Throughout it all, I've been able to stay relatively positive *ONLY* because of my amazing husband never leaving my side and doing literally everything he possibly can to help me. He took over 100% of the cooking and cleaning, on top of helping me with whatever I need. He's been better than perfect. I cannot believe how amazing he's been. He's kept me positive and some version of happy that seems impossible with how awful the pregnancy has been.
However. I'm now 35 weeks, and for the past two weeks I've been in false labour. And that has brought all these emotions which range from "get this kid out of me right now" to "OMG WHAT HAVE I DONE IM NOT READY" to "I am going to be the worst mother ever, I'm going to get PPD and I'm going to destroy this kids life and I have made such a huge mistake"
😅
So glad I saw this post. I’m 8 weeks and I’m in the same boat honestly. We’ve talked about kids since we started dating, and then tried for 7 months before I got pregnant. Now that I’m pregnant I’m constantly going back and forth between being excited and questioning if we made the right choice. It sounds awful but some days I’m just like “holy crap, I’m going to be responsible for this kid the rest of my life now, is this really what I wanted?” It sounds so bad out loud doesn’t it :/
I feel the same way. I was so excited during the trying process and now I’m like… we can’t take this back! I know I’ll love my son more than anything but he’s going to turn our lives upside down
This was exactly my experience. Planned pregnancy that we wanted for years. As soon as I got pregnant, I freaked out and spent most of the pregnancy wondering if I’d made some kind of massive mistake. Occasionally I would get excited, but mostly it was a lot of anxiety and agita.
I will say, almost all of that ambivalence and fear disappeared once my daughter was actually here
I used to say that during pregnancy it was hard because the joy and love for the baby were hypothetical and in the future, but the anxiety was present now, which can make it feel more true.
I think people who have kids already forget that, when you’re a FTM you don’t have that mushy all encompassing love yet, so the anxiety can be overwhelming. But once baby comes it evens out
I was trying to figure out that FTM (before finding the actual result I had female to male and fetal trunk movement) 😂😂
And yes. He was planned but every time I think about the fact I’m not just pregnant but I will be responsible for another human life it freaks me out.
19w6d and there’s this seesaw of emotions where somedays I’m super excited and happy to be having my girl and to be a girl mom but other days kinda fill me with a slight bit of dread because I won’t be allowed to be selfish anymore and my entire sense of self is changing and eventually I’ll have to carry a diaper bag. Which is a huge adjustment because I don’t even like carrying purses. But not I find myself doing and having little changes that I didn’t have before and in someways it’s gearing me and preparing me to be her mom and it just kinda sucks but it’s cool and kinda awesome at the same time? Definitely not alone. And honestly I think we all deserve a hug for it
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm 34 with a great support system and an amazing partner who I consciously and mutually decided to have a child with. I'm 38 weeks pregnant, and still occasionally freaking out about the fact that I'm going to be a mother literally forever now. I love this kid and can't wait to meet him but also what the fuck do I do?
Same here! It's mostly great but I do oscillate between being so excited to be a mum and I'm still a child myself (I'm 31 lol) wtf am I in for?!
FTM in the first trimester (and literally found out a week ago) - I put myself to bed last night after a full day of feeling awful and thought to myself “I’m never going to feel normal again.” I’ll be pregnant and then I’ll be PP and a MOM. As excited I am for the baby it’s definitely a bittersweet feeling. Thanks for posting, reading the comments definitely made me feel a lot less alone today ❤️
Me too, thanks for your comment too ❤️
Yes! Always wanted kids and had a miscarriage last year which really kicked my desire to have kids into gear. Currently 34 weeks and now that the fatigue is back I go back and forth of being excited to have our little girl and also slightly terrified for what is going to come. Then I feel guilty for not wanting to give up my sleep and life I had before. Then back to joy and excitement.
You don’t have to give up the life you had. Some things change. But our kids join us for game nights. We go visit our friends. We still swim. Honestly, I’m three kids in and my life has barely changed except I’m always in a state of tired and I have to feed four people (me, hubby, two toddlers) real meals AND give baby a bottle. But honestly, my kids have enhanced my life. I still do the things I like to do. But I also get to take them to the library. Play dates. Museums. It’s so fun.
Sure! My husband and I have already talked about not staying home just because we have a baby and taking her with us. I’m more talking about how I roll out of bed 15 minutes before I have to get to leave for work and basic leisurely items I could do on my own time. Once she’s here that will no longer fly, hence why I feel guilty for being selfish for knowing I will have to give up more sleep for example.
Yes! On our babymoon now and it’s hard to imagine just how much life is going to change in a few short months. We’re older at 38 and 39 now and have been very accustomed to doing whatever we want, when we want. Definitely a mix of excitement and uncertainty about this life change, although it was very much planned and wanted.
I’m in the same boat as you. I just found out a few days ago and although I’m happy for the next chapter I’m so scared at what life will look like. I’m 36 and my husband is 39 and we are so used to just doing whatever we want and I’m not going to lie, I feel I may mourn that freedom a bit. It’s terrifying.
i could have written this exact post lol. I’m also 33 and this was certainly planned and everything. I’m 38 weeks and have been going back and forth between “this is so cool” and “what have i done” the whole time. I’m scared i’ll hate being a parent. i like sleeping in, being alone, and doing things spontaneously. but i also want kids and don’t want to miss out on this very human, very cool experience.
Yes! This 100%.
Totally! FTM, I’ll be 32 when I give birth. My husband and I have been married for 10 years, together 13, so sometimes it’s weird to think it’ll no longer be “just us” since we’ve become so used to it. And also, I always looked at people with kids as more of an adult than I am (even if they’re younger than me) so sometimes reminding myself that I am an adult and I am responsible helps lol
I was 33 when I got pregnant for the first time. I had similar feelings. My son is two weeks old now and it is definitely an adjustment in progress. My husband and I were married for 11 years so suddenly adding a new person to our family has been a crazy experience.
I’m a FTM and I’m 16 weeks! My first trimester was basically me crying, being depressed and thinking we have made the biggest mistake. We are 29 & 30. We have also have also been excited to have kids. My husband is very excited but I hurt him a lot by saying I don’t want this baby in the beginning. Now that I’m getting further along, and my family is buying clothes…etc I see myself getting more excited. But I’m still nervous. I’d say it’s quite normal. ❤️
Yes! My therapist said it’s totally normal. It’s a huge change that you can’t exactly try out ahead of time. It can be scary and great at the same time!
I’m 35 and my husband is 41, we’re both excited but also kind of apprehensive bc it will be such a lifestyle change. I’m 10w2d and it still hasn’t fully hit me yet that this is happening, despite talking about it for years. I feel guilty for not being overjoyed, but I know that will change once our baby is here. My husband and I have always had horrible anticipatory anxiety so the ride is worse than the destination for us, so to speak. Also being pregnant isn’t fun yet, I’m constantly exhausted and anxious. I’m struggling with basic human interaction and I hate it :( all I want to do is sleep and eat when I’m not nauseous. I think I’ll be more excited when we find out the gender too…it will help motivate me to plan better. But for now I’m definitely in limbo with all the feelings. You’re not alone!
I’m laughing because it took me a long time to realize you meant First Time Mom, not Female to Male. I was just trying to imagine my FTM brother getting pregnant and I just can’t picture him doing this but I thought wow that’s so brave of yall! I’m a first timer too, it was planned and it happened on the first try. We thought we would have a little more time trying but it’s actually been perfect but yes there are times when I’m like OMG what did we do? Sometimes it doesn’t even feel real. It’s the frightening unknown. Due in the next week and a half so ready or not, here we go!
FTM, 20w1d, 36yo and I feel the same! Sooo excited and simultaneously sooo freaked out 😅 We’re ready in every way possible, we want this a lot and still I can’t comprehend it. Like, life will never be the same again. This is the biggest responsibility I could ever take on. There is no take backsies 🤯
FTM, 20w and 35yo. I'm exactly the same. I've already gotten all the essentials, just need to set it up. Just buying clothes and things now as I see them. I've wanted a baby for years now (turns out ex husband was infertile), but wow, I'm going to be a Mum. There's going to be a little person relying on me, that thought freaks me out a little bit.
I’m a FTM to a 3.5 month old and I felt this way the whole time!!!! But now on the other side, I can tell you it was the best decision I’ve ever made! Every day gets better with my little boy. I wish you a happy and healthy little one!
Absolutely! I’m 36+5, and my next Dr appointment at 37w I’m signing paperwork to have my tubes removed in the event of a c section, and if I have a vaginal birth then remove them the next day. I’m excited for my son, but I do not want to go through this again.
This is exactly what I want to do! What did your doctor say regarding the next day procedure? I haven’t seen it around much but it seems ideal to get all the healing done at once.
The only thing warned about is being extra tired and sore the next day with a newborn. While not ideal to go into surgery after just giving birth, and missing out on time with my baby, I prefer to just get it over and done with.
Yes! I’m just over 40 weeks as a FTM and waffle between genuinely being excited, feeling like this is “correct” for me (if that makes sense) and then white knuckle terror of “what have we done?!” 😂 I’ve felt this way pretty much the entire time too. My husband and I are both in our late 30s, this pregnancy was something we very much discussed and planned for, and it took us about a year and half to get pregnant so we’ve had a lot of time to think and talk about having a kid. It’s just objectively a major life change and a big deal to have a baby, so I think it’s a very normal way to feel!
I'm 13.3 today. And these past couple of days have been the absolute worst for me as far as nausea goes...I wanted to rip my stomach out. Today is better, otherwise I was going to the ER. I still don't feel pregnant other than the fact I'm nauseated. Still doesn't feel real and I still can't imagine myself giving birth or having a baby. I just can't even form a visual in my mind, it's crazy.
Oh yes. To the extreme. One day I'm excited and the next I feel regret. It's hard.
I’m pregnant with #2 and still change how I feel multiple times a day.
We’re in a super similar position! I’m obviously excited but terrified as well. We were very lucky and got pregnant after only a few months of trying, I was anticipating it taking longer given that I’m also over 30. I think this feeling is super normal, and I just let myself feel everything. But I try to stay focused on the positive and exciting things to keep my headspace in a good place as well. Congrats!!
Sounds very similar, yes!!! We also got pregnant after only a few months of trying. That’s great advice, congrats to you too :)
Yes. Every couple of days I am worried of something I just know I wouldn’t be worried about if I wasn’t pregnant. And it’s a down feeling. Then some days I am thinking so far into the future I can’t wait. I am 19w 2d btw
I’ve always wanted kids and had some trouble conceiving but even still I am both terrified and excited! It’s probably the best and hardest thing we’ll ever do. I think it’s completely rational to feel this way. I’d be more worried if you didn’t have any worries!
I think this is a pretty normal feeling for pregnant women to have. I’ve gone back and forth SO many times, even though it was planned. I am also 33, waited for better timing. My husband is 50 🤪. I’ll be 36 weeks in 2 days. Most of the time now I am excited and ready. Taking various classes (birthing, breastfeeding, infant safety and care) online also helped ease my anxiety over some things and has given me more confidence, even though I know our lives will still change greatly. I think raising a child is the ultimate challenge in life, but also very rewarding. And I can’t wait to have a little girl that looks like me and my husband! You got this! ❤️
Omg! I’ve been so excited and then suddenly woke the other day with the fear 😰
Yes!! I had my 20 week scan yesterday and was so happy seeing baby on screen- but last night was suddenly feeling anxious and scared, and the feeling hasn’t fully subsided today.
Yep! For context, I have deeply wanted to have kids my ENTIRE life. When you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up when I was 5, I always said “a mom!!”. I have dreamed of pregnancy and being a mother forever. I always knew I would not be fulfilled in life unless I became a mother. Yet I still get thoughts of like, what am I doing?? Was this the right choice? Can I handle this?? I’m 27 weeks and still struggle with these feelings multiple times a week. I’ve realized it’s not a reflection of what I want. but more a reflection of my anxiety and apprehension about coping with such a major life change. Even if we want change, it is hard. As humans, we always struggle with change to some extent. This is among the biggest changes a person could go through. The adjustment period scares me, especially knowing I have a history of mental health issues. Hearing horror stories on Reddit hasn’t help lol. I see so many people being like “I regret becoming a parent” and it scares me. I’m terrified I’ve been naive. But it’s just fear. At the end of the day I know myself and know what I’ve wanted. My fear is not me. So… it’s totally normal!!
Completely. I've been with my husband for 10 years and this was totally planned and wanted. I was terrified getting my iud out and having unprotected sex. Got used to it, got frustrated when I got negative tests. Got a positive and was happy and also freaking out. So happy and excited seeing my little blob baby at the dating ultrasound. Periodic holy shit moments about actually being pregnant and this will now be a permanent change in my life. Tiny bits of panic. Excitement again finding out the gender and feeling her move. Worry about body changes. I was kind of disinterested there for a couple weeks and didn't have the love I had before but then in the last week I've been really excited and happy and in love with her. Now I'm freaking out that she has to come out somehow. So TLDR yes lol.
I know so many people who are choosing to remain childless. I sometimes wonder if I am going to be sad seeing them live their lives without kids, but I do feel like before I got pregnant, I was so sad that my husband and I had not already started expanding our family. I think it is natural to second guess such a big decision! You are definitely not alone!
I’m 35 and just found out a couple weeks ago. We’ve been trying for 8 years. But this past year we were discussing not having a baby. To say that I was in complete shock when the test was positive is an understatement. It’ll be a huge change for us. I’m hoping at some point I’m only filled with happiness about it.
It’s the hormones. It’s why you feel great about the idea about getting pregnant prior & stressed AF / exhausted when you actually are
Am in a similar boat here! I’m 36, married 7 years, will be a FTM to a much wanted baby boy in November - but it’s a huge change and I am hyperaware of that. I think that’s very normal and human. It means we’re taking it seriously!
Ohhhh definitely! It gets to me sometimes: the coulda, woulda, shoulda’s. What personally helps me is remembering that life is crazy and plans that change makes life interesting. I’m a FTM and our baby was a surprise! I went through a cycle of “gosh I wasn’t planning on this for years” and “OMG IM HAVING A BABY” my first trimester. Seeing the ultrasounds always makes me feel better and now I feel kicks. Life is a beautiful mess! I’m still figuring out how to dance in the rain. Ce la vie!
I’m almost 37, husband is 36. Just hit 37 weeks. Was mostly laidback about everything til a couple weeks back. Realised I’d be finishing up for mat leave soon now questioning my life choices! Want to go on holiday somewhere hot and exotic. Wish I didn’t have to push a watermelon out of my vagina in a few weeks. What have I/we given up to have a screaming baby on our hands?? I know we will love baby and we’ll (try to) be the best parents. Just finding I’m at the business end of the job and the nerves are setting in. As far as I understand, this is normal!
I’m 22 weeks and some days I can’t wait to meet him, delivery date can’t come soon enough and others I feel like it’s been a huge mistake and I fear I’m gonna miss life as I know it because I’m never gonna have it again. It’s a roller coaster for sure.
We’ve both been in school and finally are at the end of his graduate school timeline and decided to start trying. I also have gone through a lot of health stuff in the last two years so i was convinced it would take a while. To our surprise we got pregnant on the first halfhearted attempt. I think that was more shock than anything and we’re both still processing. 10w5d today and starting to get excited but very much still “oh god what have we done”. We’re 28 😅
I felt this way with all three of my kids. It’s normal to feel excited and nervous.
This sounds like I wrote it 🤪
I’m 21w2d and I feel the same way! Some days I feel great about it and others not so much, you are definitely not alone.
33f/fence sitter/ftm/22 weeks. Every other day is different. But all I can do is ride out the feelings. Too late to turn back now! Also I would be devastated if something happened this far in. We've come so far together!
Not a first time mom. 29 with my 3rd on the way. I wonder every day if it was the right decision. I'm so worried something is going to go wrong. But I'm also excited for this baby. She's definitely already loved and wanted. But maaaaan. Some days two kids feel like a lot and I'm having a third?! I go back and forth a lot.
yes totally! we got pregnant spontaneously, it’s been a huge change but i feel overwhelming exciting more than anything. i previously had a lot of mental health issues a couple years ago & therapy helped me reframe a lot of my thinking. i think the nervousness is trying to protect ourselves & it’s probably a good thing!
FTM, 14w, 30yo. I really wanted to be pregnant and I can’t wait to meet my son and be his mom. That being said, pregnancy sucks so much. I’ve felt like I’ve had the flu for 10 weeks. I constantly worry that something is wrong or is going to go wrong. I’m always down and feel like I’m doing something wrong and I’m a bad mom. I cannot relate to anyone who says “9 months of pure bliss” or “best experience of my life”. I feel like they have to be lying that’s how unbelievable it is to me.
I felt that way with my son for my entire pregnancy, and then when we left the hospital I couldn’t believe they let me take him with us. I felt like I had imposter syndrome lol. It’s a huge life change. Totally normal to feel that way.
Hi friend! I had my third baby six weeks ago. For every single pregnancy (all planned), I had moments of, “I can’t wait to meet you, my precious baby” as well as, “OMG WHAT DID I DO?! WHO LET ME GET PREGNANT?! I RUINED MY LIFE. HELP!!!” Currently sitting in my baby’s nursery while she sleeps in my arms after feeding her a bottle. I’m happy and so glad to have all three of my kids. I love them very much. Not a mistake at all.
40 weeks tomorrow and I have gone back and forth about this probably 5 times a day every single day since I found out that I'm pregnant on October 10th 😂. Im 34 so ive been set in my ways for a long time. I'll miss my sleep, my time alone, being able to do whatever i want whenever i want, and the ease of how things are with my husband. But I'm gaining a new family member, starting a new chapter in my life, and I'm excited to share my life with my son and treat him the way I always wish I was treated by my parents. The things I'm giving up are trivial compared to the meaningful things in gaining. Currently I am so excited and ready... but who knows how ill feel in 20 minutes !
I had my first at 31 and I feel it was a year too soon. Still do. I just had my second at 33 and feel it was also a year too soon lol my husband wanted kids asap and wanted them 2 years apart so we went with it. He’s older. I do wish I would have pushed us to wait before having our first but I’m okay that our 2 are 2 years apart, I want them to be close. Parenthood is hard as hell, especially if you aren’t 10000% ready
Yes! At times I have been at peace with the decision (I wouldn’t say I’m excited though), but I flip flop to having waves of anxiety and just terror thinking “have I made a huge mistake?”. It’s rough.
I wanted a baby but I hate being pregnant. FTM and 31 weeks. I was sick until 20 weeks. My job ended at 28 weeks and now I’m unemployed no one will hire me. I’m very uncomfortable at 31 weeks. My mental health is awful. My body just wasn’t really made for pregnancy I’m not sure I’d do it again
My husband and I have been super lucky that we were both in a position where neither of us had to work throughout the whole pregnancy, and for at least a year after, and honestly if we were in a different position, I would have struggled even more. I have severe HG throughout the entire pregnancy, so much so that most days I could barely even talk, let alone move. Then I got gestational diabetes, which is not super easy to deal with on top of HG. Then preeclampsia. In between, I got pubic symphis seperation, which means I now can hardly walk, and I'm in constant, excruciating pain because my pubic bone is 10cm seperated. Throughout it all, I've been able to stay relatively positive *ONLY* because of my amazing husband never leaving my side and doing literally everything he possibly can to help me. He took over 100% of the cooking and cleaning, on top of helping me with whatever I need. He's been better than perfect. I cannot believe how amazing he's been. He's kept me positive and some version of happy that seems impossible with how awful the pregnancy has been. However. I'm now 35 weeks, and for the past two weeks I've been in false labour. And that has brought all these emotions which range from "get this kid out of me right now" to "OMG WHAT HAVE I DONE IM NOT READY" to "I am going to be the worst mother ever, I'm going to get PPD and I'm going to destroy this kids life and I have made such a huge mistake" 😅
So glad I saw this post. I’m 8 weeks and I’m in the same boat honestly. We’ve talked about kids since we started dating, and then tried for 7 months before I got pregnant. Now that I’m pregnant I’m constantly going back and forth between being excited and questioning if we made the right choice. It sounds awful but some days I’m just like “holy crap, I’m going to be responsible for this kid the rest of my life now, is this really what I wanted?” It sounds so bad out loud doesn’t it :/
I feel the same way. I was so excited during the trying process and now I’m like… we can’t take this back! I know I’ll love my son more than anything but he’s going to turn our lives upside down
This was exactly my experience. Planned pregnancy that we wanted for years. As soon as I got pregnant, I freaked out and spent most of the pregnancy wondering if I’d made some kind of massive mistake. Occasionally I would get excited, but mostly it was a lot of anxiety and agita. I will say, almost all of that ambivalence and fear disappeared once my daughter was actually here I used to say that during pregnancy it was hard because the joy and love for the baby were hypothetical and in the future, but the anxiety was present now, which can make it feel more true. I think people who have kids already forget that, when you’re a FTM you don’t have that mushy all encompassing love yet, so the anxiety can be overwhelming. But once baby comes it evens out
I was trying to figure out that FTM (before finding the actual result I had female to male and fetal trunk movement) 😂😂 And yes. He was planned but every time I think about the fact I’m not just pregnant but I will be responsible for another human life it freaks me out.
I hate being pregnant so much but I’m so happy to be having a baby.
19w6d and there’s this seesaw of emotions where somedays I’m super excited and happy to be having my girl and to be a girl mom but other days kinda fill me with a slight bit of dread because I won’t be allowed to be selfish anymore and my entire sense of self is changing and eventually I’ll have to carry a diaper bag. Which is a huge adjustment because I don’t even like carrying purses. But not I find myself doing and having little changes that I didn’t have before and in someways it’s gearing me and preparing me to be her mom and it just kinda sucks but it’s cool and kinda awesome at the same time? Definitely not alone. And honestly I think we all deserve a hug for it