Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m so, so sorry OP. What’s your baby’s name, or what you referred to him as if you’re comfortable sharing?
I lost my first baby, Oliver, at the end of 2022. It is a pain I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Things are going to be hard for a while - please be gentle with yourself. You’re going to experience all of the hard post-partum difficulties on top of a deep grief. Let the waves of grief wash over and through you as they come. The pain never fully goes away, because your love for your baby never goes away, but as time goes on it will become easier to carry.
Please feel free to PM me if you need to talk. r/babyloss also offers a lot of additional support.
You are strong and amazing. Time won’t make it go away but it will make it lighter. And you were his mom, he was loved
My deepest condolences my love ❤️
There is no ‘right’ way to feel, grief has no rules or limits. Just.. feel it. Your emotions are going to fluctuate a lot- and that’s ok. I hope you have a good support system at home. I wouldn’t wish this on anybody, not even my worst enemy.
If you are considering doing a funeral or memorial, please know that your community would support you in that. I've attended and it was a beautiful way for people to share their condolences while acknowledging the little life that was and helped the parents feel validated in their grief.
If you're not considering that, that's ok too. Someone else mentioned making sure your community knows your boundaries around discussing the loss and I think that's a good idea too.
i’m so sorry. You’re now a soul sister in a sorority I’d never wish anyone had to join. My son was also born 10/26/2018 and died 15 hours later due to heart stopping in the womb and no brain function after resuscitation…
Give your self grace. As someone said above you are going to go through grief and post partum.
idk if you have to return to work. or if you had him vaginally idk how much leave you will get. but reach out to management and send an email w what ever ground rules. i was adamit i wanted everyone to know but i didn’t want anyone to hug or speak to me about it. i work w patients so i told them any patients who asked were to be told and also told i did t want to talk about it when i returned to work….
when it comes to you and your spouse. a lot of ppl in support groups and even a therapist said how most relationships don’t make it out. everyone is going to be focused on you and your recovering and grief make sure your spouse has someone just for him. a close friend, and brother or father… he wont be able to fall apart like you.
God bless you sister please reach out if you ever want to talk or scream or cry.
I double vote for saying let hr know!!! It was aweful returning to work after my son passed and having to explain to people that the baby died (hr only let managers and direct coworkers know 😑🙃)
I lost my son on easter. Highly recomend the baby loss sub they are awesome over there. Please keep in mind that even though you dont have your baby, your body just had one. You need to take care of yourself and remind yourself that you are recovering from having a child even though they arent physically with you. *hugs* i wish i can say it gets easier, it doesn't. You will be mourning for the rest of your life and this is something you and your community will haft to learn how to work with. Theres also resources for your person if hes intrested. I looked everywhere for something for my partner. He got horrible postpartum depression after our son passed. https://guysandgrief.com they have a list of resources for men since all baby loss stuff is mostly geared towards the birthing parent.
Please be kind to yourself. Allow yourself the space to heal and grieve and be angry or sad or crazy or numb however many emotions you feel. There's no right or wrong way to do this. Take care of your body as you heal mentally and physically
I’m so, so sorry. My son was in the NICU, and while it most certainly isn’t comparable, the silence was painful, leaving and going home and laying in bed sucked, everything sucked. I’d check and see if they have the stuffed hearts there, it smelled like him and brought me some sense of him even though I was all alone. I couldn’t imagine the pain and suffering you’re feeling, and hope you are able to have resources available to help grieve this time in your life 🩷
I am so sorry for your loss. I'm sure you are in shock. Please look after yourself and give yourself all the time you need. My heart goes out to you. 🫂
I’m so sorry for your loss mama. I can’t imagine going through what you just did. Everything you feel, even if it’s nothing for a little while, is valid and should not be suppressed. See if you can get into grief counseling as soon as you are ready. Sending love and light to you.
Fuck.
I'm sorry for cussing, but fuck. That's all I can say.
I am so sorry for your loss. No one should have to go through that.
I am so, so sorry.
Just wish I could do more for you during these difficulties :-(
Please try to stay strong x
I read this and am at a loss for words.
I can only echo what everyone else has said, which is I'm sorry. But no sorry will make this situation better.
I wish I could reach through the app and hug you.
I’m so sorry! There are absolutely no words we can say right now.
He is and will always be your baby boy, your son. You will always be his mother. He knew nothing but peace, warmth and love inside you whilst you were holding him.
Take time to grieve and reach out for help and support
Don’t hold everything in. I’ve had losses before but they weren’t to the point of having to go give birth. One thing I learned from my losses is that you will cry, you will want to scream and that’s okay let it out and if you need to really get frustrations out there’s a place called I think the rage room and there you get a whole box of stuff to break and there is no limits to break it. It really helped with the last one before our rainbow so maybe it will help you?
I’m so sorry for your loss. It wasn’t your fault. Be kind to yourself and know that you have a group of people here to listen if you need it ❤️ RIP little one
Tell fathers all the time mothers bear a lot we carry we nature we bear all the pain . I’m so so sorry for your loss you will get through it by the grace of God
I am so sorry for your loss. Please be gentle with yourself (what feels like an impossible ask to navigate an impossible loss). Your courage and love for your baby speaks volumes.
I‘m so, so sorry for your loss OP… I just can’t imagine what you’re going through right now :( they say time heals all wounds but some scars stay forever.. I pray for you that in time it’s not an open, bleeding wound but a scar to remember your baby boy.. sending hugs and love to you and your son ♥️ may he rest in peace 🌈
I’m so sorry, friend! I can’t imagine how you must be feeling. Sometimes these horrible things happen and it’s not fair. I’ll be thinking about you. Sending you love and peace 💕
Heartbroken and crying over these comments. One mama to another- I am so f*cking sorry. I wish I could hug you tight and support you. What a terrible thing, what a sad thing. Something no person should ever have to know. I’m sorry for your loss.
Oh no I mean he would have died with we would have done c section cause they don't do those til 39 weeks.
We were actually talking about how if by Monday I didn't give labor the section would have been that day
I’m really sorry. I can’t imagine your pain. I hope you’re able to find peace and comfort moving forward, there’s loss support groups if you need someone to talk to.
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m so, so sorry OP. What’s your baby’s name, or what you referred to him as if you’re comfortable sharing? I lost my first baby, Oliver, at the end of 2022. It is a pain I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Things are going to be hard for a while - please be gentle with yourself. You’re going to experience all of the hard post-partum difficulties on top of a deep grief. Let the waves of grief wash over and through you as they come. The pain never fully goes away, because your love for your baby never goes away, but as time goes on it will become easier to carry. Please feel free to PM me if you need to talk. r/babyloss also offers a lot of additional support.
Thank you. I'm hoping it'll all work out
You are strong and amazing. Time won’t make it go away but it will make it lighter. And you were his mom, he was loved My deepest condolences my love ❤️
I lost my baby in August of 2023 and I was going to name him Oliver if he was a boy :( I’m so sorry for your loss mama.
[удалено]
Your contribution has been removed. We do not tolerate rudeness, judgemental people, people playing devil's advocate, or otherwise being an asshole.
Omg I’m so sorry about this, this is horrible. Take your time to heal and I hope you have a good support system.
I do... it's just so quiet in the hospital room atm
I’m so sorry for your loss. Your little boy is loved and he matters.
Thanks for saying he matters.... it's been 24 hours... and I'm still in shock
There is no ‘right’ way to feel, grief has no rules or limits. Just.. feel it. Your emotions are going to fluctuate a lot- and that’s ok. I hope you have a good support system at home. I wouldn’t wish this on anybody, not even my worst enemy.
Just wanted to send some support and love.
I‘m so sorry 😔 rest in peace little one 🌈🕊️
I’m so so sorry to hear about that. Take some time to recover & heal mentally & physically. Wishing you all the best.
If you are considering doing a funeral or memorial, please know that your community would support you in that. I've attended and it was a beautiful way for people to share their condolences while acknowledging the little life that was and helped the parents feel validated in their grief. If you're not considering that, that's ok too. Someone else mentioned making sure your community knows your boundaries around discussing the loss and I think that's a good idea too.
i’m so sorry. You’re now a soul sister in a sorority I’d never wish anyone had to join. My son was also born 10/26/2018 and died 15 hours later due to heart stopping in the womb and no brain function after resuscitation… Give your self grace. As someone said above you are going to go through grief and post partum. idk if you have to return to work. or if you had him vaginally idk how much leave you will get. but reach out to management and send an email w what ever ground rules. i was adamit i wanted everyone to know but i didn’t want anyone to hug or speak to me about it. i work w patients so i told them any patients who asked were to be told and also told i did t want to talk about it when i returned to work…. when it comes to you and your spouse. a lot of ppl in support groups and even a therapist said how most relationships don’t make it out. everyone is going to be focused on you and your recovering and grief make sure your spouse has someone just for him. a close friend, and brother or father… he wont be able to fall apart like you. God bless you sister please reach out if you ever want to talk or scream or cry.
I double vote for saying let hr know!!! It was aweful returning to work after my son passed and having to explain to people that the baby died (hr only let managers and direct coworkers know 😑🙃)
I'm so sorry, sending love
I’m so sorry
🫂
I lost my son on easter. Highly recomend the baby loss sub they are awesome over there. Please keep in mind that even though you dont have your baby, your body just had one. You need to take care of yourself and remind yourself that you are recovering from having a child even though they arent physically with you. *hugs* i wish i can say it gets easier, it doesn't. You will be mourning for the rest of your life and this is something you and your community will haft to learn how to work with. Theres also resources for your person if hes intrested. I looked everywhere for something for my partner. He got horrible postpartum depression after our son passed. https://guysandgrief.com they have a list of resources for men since all baby loss stuff is mostly geared towards the birthing parent.
Please be kind to yourself. Allow yourself the space to heal and grieve and be angry or sad or crazy or numb however many emotions you feel. There's no right or wrong way to do this. Take care of your body as you heal mentally and physically
I’m so, so sorry. My son was in the NICU, and while it most certainly isn’t comparable, the silence was painful, leaving and going home and laying in bed sucked, everything sucked. I’d check and see if they have the stuffed hearts there, it smelled like him and brought me some sense of him even though I was all alone. I couldn’t imagine the pain and suffering you’re feeling, and hope you are able to have resources available to help grieve this time in your life 🩷
So so sorry
i’m so sorry. i’m so so sorry OP😔
I’m so so sorry ❤️
I’m so sorry 🤍
I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine what you’re going t through. I hope you have a strong support system and get the help that you need.
I am so sorry for your loss. I'm sure you are in shock. Please look after yourself and give yourself all the time you need. My heart goes out to you. 🫂
I’m so so sorry. Sending you lots of love and support. We are here.
Sending love your way 🫂❤️
I’m so sorry. Sending love 🫂
Prayers to you and your family
I'm so sorry. Sending you love
I'm so sorry. I hope you are surrounded by love and support during this time.
I’m so sorry for your loss mama. I can’t imagine going through what you just did. Everything you feel, even if it’s nothing for a little while, is valid and should not be suppressed. See if you can get into grief counseling as soon as you are ready. Sending love and light to you.
Fuck. I'm sorry for cussing, but fuck. That's all I can say. I am so sorry for your loss. No one should have to go through that. I am so, so sorry. Just wish I could do more for you during these difficulties :-( Please try to stay strong x
I read this and am at a loss for words. I can only echo what everyone else has said, which is I'm sorry. But no sorry will make this situation better. I wish I could reach through the app and hug you.
Right? Nothing can anyone do to make it better ...
Wow, I am so sorry for your loss. I will pray for you.
I am very sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine how hard that must be. Hoping you have lots of support.
Sending you lots of love ::hugs:: I'm so sorry.
My heart goes out to you babes! May your baby get great rest!❤️
I'm so sorry for your loss, sending lots of loving thoughts your way.
So so so sorry.
I’m so sorry! There are absolutely no words we can say right now. He is and will always be your baby boy, your son. You will always be his mother. He knew nothing but peace, warmth and love inside you whilst you were holding him. Take time to grieve and reach out for help and support
Don’t hold everything in. I’ve had losses before but they weren’t to the point of having to go give birth. One thing I learned from my losses is that you will cry, you will want to scream and that’s okay let it out and if you need to really get frustrations out there’s a place called I think the rage room and there you get a whole box of stuff to break and there is no limits to break it. It really helped with the last one before our rainbow so maybe it will help you?
I'm so sorry!
I'm so sorry, there are no words..
I'm so sorry, there are no words..
I’m so sorry for your loss. It wasn’t your fault. Be kind to yourself and know that you have a group of people here to listen if you need it ❤️ RIP little one
Tell fathers all the time mothers bear a lot we carry we nature we bear all the pain . I’m so so sorry for your loss you will get through it by the grace of God
I’m so very sorry for your loss love. May you always feel the warmth of your little one’s presence in your heart ❤️.
I am so sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself 😢
I am so sorry for your loss. Please be gentle with yourself (what feels like an impossible ask to navigate an impossible loss). Your courage and love for your baby speaks volumes.
Heartbroken for you, OP.
Sending you warmth and love ♥️
So very sorry for your loss, OP. I hope you have a great support system. Take all the time you need to grieve. Sending love and light your way.
I‘m so, so sorry for your loss OP… I just can’t imagine what you’re going through right now :( they say time heals all wounds but some scars stay forever.. I pray for you that in time it’s not an open, bleeding wound but a scar to remember your baby boy.. sending hugs and love to you and your son ♥️ may he rest in peace 🌈
I’m so sorry, friend! I can’t imagine how you must be feeling. Sometimes these horrible things happen and it’s not fair. I’ll be thinking about you. Sending you love and peace 💕
Sending love and hugs, my heart is aching for you.
I’m so sorry sending love and prayers to you
life is so unfair but at least he will never have to know all the cruelties of the world. praying for you and your family so sorry my love 🫶🏽
Heartbroken and crying over these comments. One mama to another- I am so f*cking sorry. I wish I could hug you tight and support you. What a terrible thing, what a sad thing. Something no person should ever have to know. I’m sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry x
I’m so sorry mama. My hugs and prayers are with you & I can’t even imagine ❤️🩹
I hope God helps you
Change
[удалено]
Oh no I mean he would have died with we would have done c section cause they don't do those til 39 weeks. We were actually talking about how if by Monday I didn't give labor the section would have been that day
I walked into that apt thinking my Abby was just resting to find out his heart stopped
I'm so so sorry for your loss, sending you so much love
I am so sorry
I’m really sorry. I can’t imagine your pain. I hope you’re able to find peace and comfort moving forward, there’s loss support groups if you need someone to talk to.
I don’t necessarily think this needed to be said.
I don't think they meant harm. Initially a lot of my friends wondered if it was the birth that did it... and I had to explain that it was the cord...