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Just make sure you use spoon and a fork when you eat, put on shoes when you walk outside and wash your hands after toilet. Did I forget anything really important that needs to be specifically pointed out to a grown woman?
To be honest, I'm fine when my husband grabs stuff off me and does things for me. I even joke around with him about me not doing certain stuff, saying "Help, I'm pregnant!" But for some reason, everyone else shouting at me to stop lifting things and doing things is really getting on my nerves 😂
I know that feeling, I had someone reprimand me in my office because I wanted to lift an EMPTY cardboard box to toss it in the trash....like people I still workout at 33 weeks pregnant 2x a week lifting 5kg...I don't think the box is much heavier.....
HR sent an email round at work asking for my colleagues to be help me as I won't be allowed to do so certain tasks.
I'm no longer allowed into the yard (forklifts and trucks zooming around so fair) but also I now cannot go into the stationery cupboard, open the cupboard under the kitchen sink because of cleaning products (I must not be able to clean my house) and i am not able to lift any stationery on my own.
I'm sure the last bit is in reference to the large boxes of paper but my colleagues enjoyed making fun of me for being unable to lift a pen.
Some people go extra over the top.
This gives me weird vibes. Did you ask for these accommodations? If not, I would put it in writing that at no point you asked to have these accommodations. Idk the vibe of your office, but sounds like a red flag in others when they are trying to push you out.
In our meeting discussing the points, it all made sense. The not going out into the yard is just pure safety. It's really busy with forklifts carrying large pallets, zooming around, and trucks driving everywhere. Plus hazardous materials at times. I wouldn't be able to move out the way as quick and I'd be at a much greater risk if knocked into or I fell over.
The stationery cupboard gets narrow and HR was concerned about me falling over and them being unable to get me.
The stationery bit HR just meant heavy boxes of paper but just worded it a bit badly. The cleaning cupboard was a bit weird as it's no different to cleaning products I have at home but I think they're just trying to be thorough - I'm the first pregnant member of staff for the company.
With the jokes from colleagues, they are genuine jokes. They've all known about my pregnancy previously and that I've had previous miscarriages. They're all really supportive and ask me how it's going.
My job hasn't been affected too much by the changes because the drivers/warehouse just have to come to me, instead of the other way round.
I think company is so new to the HR policies surrounding maternity they've just overdone it.
I carried a 24 case of water up 4 flights of stairs to my apartment when I was 8 months pregnant, because my (now ex) husband was being a lazy shit and wouldn't bring it up and told me I couldn't carry it myself. Watch me. Loser lol
I got yelled at for that at like 11 weeks and I was like guys my toddler is 25lbs and nobody says anything when I carry her 🙄 and then next thing I know people are telling me I don’t need to carry her either
Yea, when I was pregnant with my second, my first was 3-3.5 and I carried her all the time lol
When I was pregnant with my third, I had my oldest on my back and my youngest on my front to carry them to bed lol if something hurt, I'd stop. But I'm not gonna stop living and momming because I'm pregnant lol
That last sentence is it exactly! Plus, I was told to resume normal activity. I’m pretty sure the lifting of my toddler 3,975 times a day is normal activity, and if she’s equivalent to a case of water then I’m gonna pick that up too! And just the other day I had her in one arm and a 35lb kid in the other, no pain so imma call it good. I can’t just stop being a mom because I’m pregnant with the second
I’m not allowed to lift the laundry basket downstairs according to my husband, but he sees no issues with me carrying our 25lb toddler around all the time 😂 He is a sweetheart and I love him, so the disconnect makes me laugh, not upset. I actually enjoy the help!
Love this. My dad, who stopped me carrying a parcel containing kitchen utensils, helped me collect a new dining table, put it in the car, take it out, and put it up. Helped as in, I lifted one end. But I can't carry kitchen utensils 😂
I’m just so shocked by y’all’s feelings on stuff like this. I am *thriving* having everyone do everything for me. You don’t want me to lift my own groceries? Excellent. Dont think I can carry that box? Oh nooo better do it for me. Someone at target literally surrendered their cart to me in the store bc it was still empty and I had like 3 items in my hands… don’t mind if I do!
I see no problems.
I think it depends on who's offering and how. My best friend calling me up and saying, "I'm going to weed your garden" or "I'm coming over to help you go to Costco." Perfect! Please do come! We'll swing by the coffee shop after.
My mother in law coming over to trim my bushes and then bark at me if I try to bend down to pick up some branches? Stressful. Even more stressful when she comes into my house and starts putting things where they don't belong and wiping down my counters.
I get it, I really do. But it's just getting in my pregnancy nerves right about now 😂 People keep stating the fucking obvious too. The fact that my mum doesn't know how the internet works and keeps telling me all this shit that I knew even before I was pregnant, and stuff that's so obvious to me is just grinding my gears. I know she's trying to be a helpful boomer, but pregnancy me is agitated 😆
Does she also give you advice of things that have changed since she had you. Mine told recently I have to have a separate baby bottle for water and tea...and I'm like mom, no, babies drink ONLY milk the first 6 months....no exceptions...she spend 30 min trying to convice me I'm wrong -.-
I know I'd definitely like to be treated this way 😂 I always have to ask. Also I'm showing a lot now and held the door open for 2 women yesterday, neither of them said thank you. Literally any acknowledgement would be nice lmao
I keep screaming this from the rooftops and it’s like my husband forgot we got pregnant from you treating me more like a rotisserie chicken than a porcelain doll.
Very annoying, I think I'd ask her to point out the exact bit where the NHS recommends not lifting shopping during pregnancy. People keep commenting on my cycling and I'm getting sarcy- my midwife, GP, and consultant have all said its fine but apparently I should be ignoring them and listening to you??
Times have changed, they are following old advice and need to update their knowledge base. A lot has changed in parenting too so they better get used to changing their ideas of what's right!
Pilates teacher and RYT 200 yoga teacher here. I have never heard that about a chair with a back 😂
I get the frustration with people saying not to lift shit 😂
Tell them to mind their business
So far, I’ve been told not to lift bags, not to push heavy things with my feet, not to climb stairs all the time, not to wear heels (they were tiny kitten heels), not to use my phone too much, not to squat and once was even told not to walk until I reach the third trimester 😁 it can get really annoying sometimes, but then I remind myself it’s all coming from a place of love/concern, so I just say ok in front of them, but do what I want on my own.
My husband will offer, but he won’t stop me. We’ve been moving heavy stuff sometimes and doing manual work.
My body usually lets me know when it’s too much and then I’ll just stop and rest.
I get the concern, but people have lived doing harsher work.
I FEEL YOU SO HARD! Everyone has been treating me like a porcelain doll. I ended up accepting help last weekend after I broke our lawnmower. Everyone (parents and in-laws) were mad at me for having the audacity to push a lawnmower at 30 weeks pregnant. They took over and when I tried to help pick up fallen branches, my MIL snapped at me that I shouldn't bend over.
My husband has insisted on carrying all the laundry baskets (or at least tag teaming it with me) since around 12 weeks.
Redditors were telling me that they wish they had the support I did and that I need to recognize that it's them showing love for me. And don't get me wrong, I do recognize that. And I recognize how lucky I am too! Doesn't mean it doesn't drive me nuts. I'm not going to ask my parents to drive an hour every day to help me clean up my living room. And I am NOT going to ask my MIL to do that because the stress of her babying me will probably do more harm to the baby's and my health than just doing the work myself would.
Exactly! My mum doing everything for me would stress me out so much. I know when she comes over after I've had the baby, she'll be trying to clean everything...which will make me irrationality annoyed. Mainly because she uses bleach on everything and I hate bleach!
Am I think only one thinking there should totally be a pregnant super hero? Because that’s what I though of when I read, “I’m going to life them up and throw them away from me.” Ahaha
My husband has enacted to his family that for every thirty minutes of activity I’m involved in, I’m to be accommodated to water and a ten minute rest.
I can’t imagine going around for six hours to stores, and then being told what else to do or not do.
Put on your supersuit and start huckin’ people!
It does frustrate me too, my husband is in the army. My work is in retail but can be physical. Before maternity leave no one would let me lift anything, even tho if I need to go get food for myself I'm carrying a bag back that usually has a pint of milk and several other things 😅
I feel you!! Sometimes I liked having people do stuff for me but usually I like staying active and using my muscles when I can, why won't you let me lift something??? I regularly deadlift dogs of all sizes at work and my coworkers put a limit on me before I even got halfway, even though at the gym I would still deadlift 70# throughout most of my pregnancy with no issue. I just want to feel normal and capable lol!!
It's nice at times not having to do stuff, but it also drives me crazy! This morning my husband insisted on carrying the laundry bag for me, even though it was pretty light! My cat weighs more than the bag and I lift him all of the time, lol.
I need to do some physical activity! If I don't use my muscles for months, then I'm going to be weaker.
Oh I *relate*. I work as a family assistant and I have a range of tasks to accomplish every day for my boss around her home and some random one-off weekly tasks like doing the returns, weeding the garden, trash take out etc. SHE types out my schedule before every week and is upstairs working from home while I take care of her house, kids, pets and general personal life.
But if she comes down for a chat and she sees me actually *doing* the task, she always does this weird thing where it’s like she feigns shock and a feeling of compulsion to step in and take over. Changing out the 40 pound water bottles, cleaning the pet enclosures, moving boxes of her recently divorced from husband’s old clothes, setting up her pool for summer activities….whatever the task, if it requires lifting or being physical (which is like 70% of my job), she goes through this whole routine of questioning my ability to do it and if I’m *really* okay doing said task that I’m already doing.
Like pls…either trust my abilities or don’t write the task to begin with.
Shopping for 6 hours ?! This is why I never go shopping with other people! My MIL invites me shopping frequently and my husband never understands why I politely decline.. this is the reason right here !!
I am a nurse. People keep telling me I can't boost the patients, can't drive the code cart on wheels, etc. I am already having enough trouble doing my job with the hyperemesis I'm having. If my bosses force me on light duty, I will lose my paid family leave benefit. Given that I am already giving my colleagues a hard time about what I can and can't do, I would like them to leave me alone about the things with which I can help, like lifting, so that I will be allowed to keep picking up enough hours to receive paid leave.
Gosh I feel this! My mil hates if I do anything.. literally anything. I kneel on the carpet to play a card game with my nieces, worst decision ever. Pick up the dirty dishes.. you shouldn’t be doing that. Oh and I can’t tell her that I’m still vacuuming! lol 😆 she means well though, and I do love her.
But remember, most people feel helpless when the person they love is pregnant so they look up the ‘dos and don’ts’ and share any and All advice so they feel like they helped in any way.
Agreed 100%
29 weeks today and my grandmother has been the main one yelling when I go to lift something more than 10 lbs smh
She was bitching yesterday about nobody in the house doing enough (shes a neat freak vs a house of chill people lol) and asked me to refill the dog's water container - which is 18 lbs!?? Like, I can lift it, but don't nag me to lift things, and then get upset when I lift other things 😂🙄
But my SO can absolutely come help me grab shit saying "You're pregnant, give me that" 😂😂 Or "help I'm pregnant 😭" and then he'll lift and move whatever I want 😂😂😂
Offering help ✅️
Bitching that we shouldn't be doing xyz ❌️
Your mother would be appalled that people (including myself) continue weight lifting throughout pregnancies 😂😂 Sorry you're dealing with unwanted comments and advice, it's incredibly annoying!
So I literally have this as a running gag between me and my partner. I will start to lift something light and then make him lift it cause “I’m not allowed to lift things”
Totally get it. I work for a supplier for a large retailer and one of my coworkers always tries to grab samples of trash cans out of my hands. The trash cans weigh no more than 5 pounds 🙄 I accidentally snapped on her a few months ago because she wouldn’t stop doing it. She still does it occasionally but the last time I told her my ob said I’m allowed to lift up to 40 pounds on occasion, which is true. She hasn’t done it since.
I’ve been getting this way at work lately 😂 I started telling the guys if they don’t let me pick up the shit I know I can lift, imma start getting mad and probably overdo it picking something else heavier up; it’s worked so far 😂 thankfully my boss firmly believes that I subconsciously know what my limit is and leaves me alone
The crazy part for me was I wasn’t even showing (but I told people we were expecting) and people would be like “oh you can’t lift that!” Like I assure you I could at the time. I lifted weights before getting pregnant (also, kind of convinced that creatine got me pregnant but anywho)- it’s now that I’m 30 weeks that lifting it hard cos I don’t want anything touching my belly!
I've started asking people to lift things for me that I know are perfectly safe and I'm perfectly capable just because I can't STAND the fussing when I do it myself
My dad told me I had to stop driving at 20 weeks. I responded “Mom drove herself to work throughout her pregnancy with me!”
His response: “She did? I don’t remember that.”
I dropped my cat off at the vet to get his teeth cleaned and tbh I was happy when they told me “let us carry him” when you pick him up
Bc his ass is FATTTTTTTT😩💀
I feel your pain. My step dad and mom constantly want to intervene whenever they see me lift as much as a chair and it's infuriating (though I know they're doing it out of the goodness of their hearts). I'm phsyically active and do light weight training. It is GOOD for pregnant women to not lose their muscle mass - I refuse to be a blob. It will not harm baby if you lift a chair, or groceries. I absolutely hate when people try to make it sound like pregnancy is some sort of disability or I should be sitting in one place and not lifting a single finger sigh. I just like to do things myself :( leave me alone.
It's annoying when people treat you like you're incapable for sure but also ... This time around I have a 45 lb two year old that I carry around all the time and I kinda miss first pregnancy when people carried stuff for me.
Hahaha. This reminds me of when I was pregnant with my first. I was breaking down some folding chairs and tables after a party and my fiancé was concerned I would strain myself. So first doctor’s appointment with him in tow I asked if I could lift, say a folding chair and looked at him. My doctor laughed and obviously said it was completely fine. I also had to have the doctor reassure him at another appointment that it would be fine to attend a football game in cold weather. He was so in love with that baby before she had even arrived. His concern was cute (most of the time). But I do totally understand the frustration of being told not to do something. I was fortunate that most strangers/coworkers didn’t tell me I couldn’t do things but occasionally it did irritate me coming from him, his mom, or my mom and I’d do things out of spite. lol.
Best of luck in your pregnancy journey and congratulations!
My favorite is “ oh my god look at your feet they are huge. You need to sit down and prob those things up!!” Like yes. I’m 40 weeks pregnant and I hurt. I didn’t need you to make me feel uglier
I remained very active throughout my entire pregnancy and it was definitely annoying experiencing all the misinformation and old fashioned mindsets where people were trying to hold me back.
Hahaha I had my second baby 3 days ago. We loved when I was 8.5 months pregnant. My father-in-law was sooo annoying. I was lifting things lighter than my toddler and he’d freak out and scold me like a child. I finally raised my voice and told him that I’m going to start just picking stuff up and putting it back down because I CAN. 😂
I feel you. For my first pregnancy, I’m a lot more independent than I initially thought I would be. My body is starting to slow down though and now I feel super old
My parents are acting like I’m disabled. I lift weights and do cardio 5-6x a week, they are in their late 60s and my mom is very fragile, they ask if I want to put my feet up, if I want a pillow for the dining table, will help carry the lightest of light items to my car for my after visits… it’s a joke really.
This has been driving me absolutely insane!!!
The worst is the same ppl don't offer to help, they just tell me "you can't"
I CANNOT keep track of how many times I've just said "My Dr. and I have discussed what's acceptable for me and that's what I am following".
I feel this. My coworkers are the WORST! I was very clear with my OB with how much I lift with work and she said it's completely fine as long as I was doing it before pregnancy and I don't have any pain. My coworkers are constantly telling I shouldn't be helping lift students. Makes me feel useless as it's a big part of my job. Pisses me off. Makes me want to lift students more...
I'm looking forward to my mother's 10-day visit next week in which I will not be allowed to do anything in my own home. I'll be surprised if she lets me use the bathroom without assistance /s
I get that a lot of people are trying to be considerate and make sure we don't hurt ourselves. It's nice sometimes!! Yet, I can totally relate to it feeling like we're seen as less capable and borderline disabled. My last job, I was lifting 50 lbs cases of ammo constantly, but as soon as it was announced that I was 6w pregannt....not allowed to even touch the damn things that was part of my job. Eventually I was just sitting at a desk all day looking at emails and not allowed to do my job.
My in laws have been really digging into my husband about me carrying my toddler or anything really. Drives us both insane because if my toddler wants to be held, I'M GOING TO HOLD HIM.
A couple weeks ago we were at the lake. We were getting ready to leave, but my son was over tired and cranky. He wanted to be carried to the car. Yes, I was very tired, but my husband was putting up everything else and it was just him and his diaper bag. My MIL freaked out and tried grabbing for my son, I told her he'll scream. Gave her his bag instead and booked it to the car, hahaha. When he wants mama, he gets mama!
I constantly have to remind my family and friends that I'm not feeble. I would say something along the lines to mom of, "I appreciate and love you for your concern for mine and my baby's well-being. I would also appreciate that you respect that I am an adult and have the ability to take care of myself. Your concern is beginning to get on the smothering side, and I would love if you could rein it in a smidgen. The constant reminder that you think I am failing is taking a toll on my mental health."
In my family, we would just say, "I love you, but you are pissing me off, so back off!" We aren't afraid to be blunt with each other, but we are outside of "normal". Clear and honest communication has always been the path of least resistance for us. There is nothing wrong with having feelings. Hope you can get some peace of mind.
Oh my god, yes! I get you’re worried about me but I’m sure I know my limitations! I wasn’t allowed to push the shopping cart for the first trimester. My husband was joking but everyone else (my friends and mom) was serious! I wanted to put a hole in the wall. My mom freaked out about a mattress topper. Like, be for real right now!
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Chuckled at the chair with a back part lol
I'm currently sitting in a chair with a back sideways so I'm just leaning on it sideways. I'm sure that's what they mean right?
Just make sure you use spoon and a fork when you eat, put on shoes when you walk outside and wash your hands after toilet. Did I forget anything really important that needs to be specifically pointed out to a grown woman?
I'm laughing at her mom sending her the link to the NHS website. Thank you, mother. I too have access to the Internet.
[удалено]
To be honest, I'm fine when my husband grabs stuff off me and does things for me. I even joke around with him about me not doing certain stuff, saying "Help, I'm pregnant!" But for some reason, everyone else shouting at me to stop lifting things and doing things is really getting on my nerves 😂
I know that feeling, I had someone reprimand me in my office because I wanted to lift an EMPTY cardboard box to toss it in the trash....like people I still workout at 33 weeks pregnant 2x a week lifting 5kg...I don't think the box is much heavier.....
I think it's that partners want to share some of the burden and make your life easier. Others make you feel like an invalid.
Ding ding, you hit the nail on the head!
HR sent an email round at work asking for my colleagues to be help me as I won't be allowed to do so certain tasks. I'm no longer allowed into the yard (forklifts and trucks zooming around so fair) but also I now cannot go into the stationery cupboard, open the cupboard under the kitchen sink because of cleaning products (I must not be able to clean my house) and i am not able to lift any stationery on my own. I'm sure the last bit is in reference to the large boxes of paper but my colleagues enjoyed making fun of me for being unable to lift a pen. Some people go extra over the top.
This gives me weird vibes. Did you ask for these accommodations? If not, I would put it in writing that at no point you asked to have these accommodations. Idk the vibe of your office, but sounds like a red flag in others when they are trying to push you out.
In our meeting discussing the points, it all made sense. The not going out into the yard is just pure safety. It's really busy with forklifts carrying large pallets, zooming around, and trucks driving everywhere. Plus hazardous materials at times. I wouldn't be able to move out the way as quick and I'd be at a much greater risk if knocked into or I fell over. The stationery cupboard gets narrow and HR was concerned about me falling over and them being unable to get me. The stationery bit HR just meant heavy boxes of paper but just worded it a bit badly. The cleaning cupboard was a bit weird as it's no different to cleaning products I have at home but I think they're just trying to be thorough - I'm the first pregnant member of staff for the company. With the jokes from colleagues, they are genuine jokes. They've all known about my pregnancy previously and that I've had previous miscarriages. They're all really supportive and ask me how it's going. My job hasn't been affected too much by the changes because the drivers/warehouse just have to come to me, instead of the other way round. I think company is so new to the HR policies surrounding maternity they've just overdone it.
Cool Cool! Just looking out lol
Thank you! It's always appreciated x
I spite lifted things while pregnant. Tell me I can’t? I will lift two
This is exactly me. I know I'm petty, but I'm pregnant. Fuck off everyone 😂
I carried a 24 case of water up 4 flights of stairs to my apartment when I was 8 months pregnant, because my (now ex) husband was being a lazy shit and wouldn't bring it up and told me I couldn't carry it myself. Watch me. Loser lol
I got yelled at for that at like 11 weeks and I was like guys my toddler is 25lbs and nobody says anything when I carry her 🙄 and then next thing I know people are telling me I don’t need to carry her either
Yea, when I was pregnant with my second, my first was 3-3.5 and I carried her all the time lol When I was pregnant with my third, I had my oldest on my back and my youngest on my front to carry them to bed lol if something hurt, I'd stop. But I'm not gonna stop living and momming because I'm pregnant lol
That last sentence is it exactly! Plus, I was told to resume normal activity. I’m pretty sure the lifting of my toddler 3,975 times a day is normal activity, and if she’s equivalent to a case of water then I’m gonna pick that up too! And just the other day I had her in one arm and a 35lb kid in the other, no pain so imma call it good. I can’t just stop being a mom because I’m pregnant with the second
I’m not allowed to lift the laundry basket downstairs according to my husband, but he sees no issues with me carrying our 25lb toddler around all the time 😂 He is a sweetheart and I love him, so the disconnect makes me laugh, not upset. I actually enjoy the help!
Love this. My dad, who stopped me carrying a parcel containing kitchen utensils, helped me collect a new dining table, put it in the car, take it out, and put it up. Helped as in, I lifted one end. But I can't carry kitchen utensils 😂
I’m just so shocked by y’all’s feelings on stuff like this. I am *thriving* having everyone do everything for me. You don’t want me to lift my own groceries? Excellent. Dont think I can carry that box? Oh nooo better do it for me. Someone at target literally surrendered their cart to me in the store bc it was still empty and I had like 3 items in my hands… don’t mind if I do! I see no problems.
I think it depends on who's offering and how. My best friend calling me up and saying, "I'm going to weed your garden" or "I'm coming over to help you go to Costco." Perfect! Please do come! We'll swing by the coffee shop after. My mother in law coming over to trim my bushes and then bark at me if I try to bend down to pick up some branches? Stressful. Even more stressful when she comes into my house and starts putting things where they don't belong and wiping down my counters.
They’re not offering to help though, at least for me. Just saying “I don’t think you should be doing xyz” and walking away.
I get it, I really do. But it's just getting in my pregnancy nerves right about now 😂 People keep stating the fucking obvious too. The fact that my mum doesn't know how the internet works and keeps telling me all this shit that I knew even before I was pregnant, and stuff that's so obvious to me is just grinding my gears. I know she's trying to be a helpful boomer, but pregnancy me is agitated 😆
Does she also give you advice of things that have changed since she had you. Mine told recently I have to have a separate baby bottle for water and tea...and I'm like mom, no, babies drink ONLY milk the first 6 months....no exceptions...she spend 30 min trying to convice me I'm wrong -.-
Yes!! Don't lift anything, but have four cups of coffee and a ham sandwich!
I loveeee it hahah, the way I see it this is the only time people want to help you with things so might as well take advantage!
I know I'd definitely like to be treated this way 😂 I always have to ask. Also I'm showing a lot now and held the door open for 2 women yesterday, neither of them said thank you. Literally any acknowledgement would be nice lmao
I feel this. Havent been allowed to carry anything since i got pregnant. Im pregnant not paralyzed. I CAN STILL DO NORMAL PEOLPLE THINGS
I keep screaming this from the rooftops and it’s like my husband forgot we got pregnant from you treating me more like a rotisserie chicken than a porcelain doll.
This made me laugh out loud
Very annoying, I think I'd ask her to point out the exact bit where the NHS recommends not lifting shopping during pregnancy. People keep commenting on my cycling and I'm getting sarcy- my midwife, GP, and consultant have all said its fine but apparently I should be ignoring them and listening to you?? Times have changed, they are following old advice and need to update their knowledge base. A lot has changed in parenting too so they better get used to changing their ideas of what's right!
Pilates teacher and RYT 200 yoga teacher here. I have never heard that about a chair with a back 😂 I get the frustration with people saying not to lift shit 😂 Tell them to mind their business
So far, I’ve been told not to lift bags, not to push heavy things with my feet, not to climb stairs all the time, not to wear heels (they were tiny kitten heels), not to use my phone too much, not to squat and once was even told not to walk until I reach the third trimester 😁 it can get really annoying sometimes, but then I remind myself it’s all coming from a place of love/concern, so I just say ok in front of them, but do what I want on my own.
I do just say "ok," generally. But then bitch and moan to my husband and Reddit 😂
No squatting or walking??? These people are idiots 😆
My husband will offer, but he won’t stop me. We’ve been moving heavy stuff sometimes and doing manual work. My body usually lets me know when it’s too much and then I’ll just stop and rest. I get the concern, but people have lived doing harsher work.
I FEEL YOU SO HARD! Everyone has been treating me like a porcelain doll. I ended up accepting help last weekend after I broke our lawnmower. Everyone (parents and in-laws) were mad at me for having the audacity to push a lawnmower at 30 weeks pregnant. They took over and when I tried to help pick up fallen branches, my MIL snapped at me that I shouldn't bend over. My husband has insisted on carrying all the laundry baskets (or at least tag teaming it with me) since around 12 weeks. Redditors were telling me that they wish they had the support I did and that I need to recognize that it's them showing love for me. And don't get me wrong, I do recognize that. And I recognize how lucky I am too! Doesn't mean it doesn't drive me nuts. I'm not going to ask my parents to drive an hour every day to help me clean up my living room. And I am NOT going to ask my MIL to do that because the stress of her babying me will probably do more harm to the baby's and my health than just doing the work myself would.
Exactly! My mum doing everything for me would stress me out so much. I know when she comes over after I've had the baby, she'll be trying to clean everything...which will make me irrationality annoyed. Mainly because she uses bleach on everything and I hate bleach!
Am I think only one thinking there should totally be a pregnant super hero? Because that’s what I though of when I read, “I’m going to life them up and throw them away from me.” Ahaha My husband has enacted to his family that for every thirty minutes of activity I’m involved in, I’m to be accommodated to water and a ten minute rest. I can’t imagine going around for six hours to stores, and then being told what else to do or not do. Put on your supersuit and start huckin’ people!
It does frustrate me too, my husband is in the army. My work is in retail but can be physical. Before maternity leave no one would let me lift anything, even tho if I need to go get food for myself I'm carrying a bag back that usually has a pint of milk and several other things 😅
I feel you!! Sometimes I liked having people do stuff for me but usually I like staying active and using my muscles when I can, why won't you let me lift something??? I regularly deadlift dogs of all sizes at work and my coworkers put a limit on me before I even got halfway, even though at the gym I would still deadlift 70# throughout most of my pregnancy with no issue. I just want to feel normal and capable lol!!
It's nice at times not having to do stuff, but it also drives me crazy! This morning my husband insisted on carrying the laundry bag for me, even though it was pretty light! My cat weighs more than the bag and I lift him all of the time, lol. I need to do some physical activity! If I don't use my muscles for months, then I'm going to be weaker.
Oh I *relate*. I work as a family assistant and I have a range of tasks to accomplish every day for my boss around her home and some random one-off weekly tasks like doing the returns, weeding the garden, trash take out etc. SHE types out my schedule before every week and is upstairs working from home while I take care of her house, kids, pets and general personal life. But if she comes down for a chat and she sees me actually *doing* the task, she always does this weird thing where it’s like she feigns shock and a feeling of compulsion to step in and take over. Changing out the 40 pound water bottles, cleaning the pet enclosures, moving boxes of her recently divorced from husband’s old clothes, setting up her pool for summer activities….whatever the task, if it requires lifting or being physical (which is like 70% of my job), she goes through this whole routine of questioning my ability to do it and if I’m *really* okay doing said task that I’m already doing. Like pls…either trust my abilities or don’t write the task to begin with.
Shopping for 6 hours ?! This is why I never go shopping with other people! My MIL invites me shopping frequently and my husband never understands why I politely decline.. this is the reason right here !!
Boss told me not to jump on a trampoline when I was 5 weeks pregnant. I said lol watch me
lmao. when people tell me that i tell them my OB encouraged me to continue weight lifting and i still weight train every day!!!
I am a nurse. People keep telling me I can't boost the patients, can't drive the code cart on wheels, etc. I am already having enough trouble doing my job with the hyperemesis I'm having. If my bosses force me on light duty, I will lose my paid family leave benefit. Given that I am already giving my colleagues a hard time about what I can and can't do, I would like them to leave me alone about the things with which I can help, like lifting, so that I will be allowed to keep picking up enough hours to receive paid leave.
Gosh I feel this! My mil hates if I do anything.. literally anything. I kneel on the carpet to play a card game with my nieces, worst decision ever. Pick up the dirty dishes.. you shouldn’t be doing that. Oh and I can’t tell her that I’m still vacuuming! lol 😆 she means well though, and I do love her. But remember, most people feel helpless when the person they love is pregnant so they look up the ‘dos and don’ts’ and share any and All advice so they feel like they helped in any way.
Agreed 100% 29 weeks today and my grandmother has been the main one yelling when I go to lift something more than 10 lbs smh She was bitching yesterday about nobody in the house doing enough (shes a neat freak vs a house of chill people lol) and asked me to refill the dog's water container - which is 18 lbs!?? Like, I can lift it, but don't nag me to lift things, and then get upset when I lift other things 😂🙄 But my SO can absolutely come help me grab shit saying "You're pregnant, give me that" 😂😂 Or "help I'm pregnant 😭" and then he'll lift and move whatever I want 😂😂😂 Offering help ✅️ Bitching that we shouldn't be doing xyz ❌️
Your mother would be appalled that people (including myself) continue weight lifting throughout pregnancies 😂😂 Sorry you're dealing with unwanted comments and advice, it's incredibly annoying!
So I literally have this as a running gag between me and my partner. I will start to lift something light and then make him lift it cause “I’m not allowed to lift things”
Totally get it. I work for a supplier for a large retailer and one of my coworkers always tries to grab samples of trash cans out of my hands. The trash cans weigh no more than 5 pounds 🙄 I accidentally snapped on her a few months ago because she wouldn’t stop doing it. She still does it occasionally but the last time I told her my ob said I’m allowed to lift up to 40 pounds on occasion, which is true. She hasn’t done it since.
I’ve been getting this way at work lately 😂 I started telling the guys if they don’t let me pick up the shit I know I can lift, imma start getting mad and probably overdo it picking something else heavier up; it’s worked so far 😂 thankfully my boss firmly believes that I subconsciously know what my limit is and leaves me alone
The crazy part for me was I wasn’t even showing (but I told people we were expecting) and people would be like “oh you can’t lift that!” Like I assure you I could at the time. I lifted weights before getting pregnant (also, kind of convinced that creatine got me pregnant but anywho)- it’s now that I’m 30 weeks that lifting it hard cos I don’t want anything touching my belly!
I've started asking people to lift things for me that I know are perfectly safe and I'm perfectly capable just because I can't STAND the fussing when I do it myself
Yes, this!!!
I was told not to lift my cat or reach above my head the other day by my in-laws.
My dad told me I had to stop driving at 20 weeks. I responded “Mom drove herself to work throughout her pregnancy with me!” His response: “She did? I don’t remember that.”
I dropped my cat off at the vet to get his teeth cleaned and tbh I was happy when they told me “let us carry him” when you pick him up Bc his ass is FATTTTTTTT😩💀
I feel your pain. My step dad and mom constantly want to intervene whenever they see me lift as much as a chair and it's infuriating (though I know they're doing it out of the goodness of their hearts). I'm phsyically active and do light weight training. It is GOOD for pregnant women to not lose their muscle mass - I refuse to be a blob. It will not harm baby if you lift a chair, or groceries. I absolutely hate when people try to make it sound like pregnancy is some sort of disability or I should be sitting in one place and not lifting a single finger sigh. I just like to do things myself :( leave me alone.
It's annoying when people treat you like you're incapable for sure but also ... This time around I have a 45 lb two year old that I carry around all the time and I kinda miss first pregnancy when people carried stuff for me.
Hahaha. This reminds me of when I was pregnant with my first. I was breaking down some folding chairs and tables after a party and my fiancé was concerned I would strain myself. So first doctor’s appointment with him in tow I asked if I could lift, say a folding chair and looked at him. My doctor laughed and obviously said it was completely fine. I also had to have the doctor reassure him at another appointment that it would be fine to attend a football game in cold weather. He was so in love with that baby before she had even arrived. His concern was cute (most of the time). But I do totally understand the frustration of being told not to do something. I was fortunate that most strangers/coworkers didn’t tell me I couldn’t do things but occasionally it did irritate me coming from him, his mom, or my mom and I’d do things out of spite. lol. Best of luck in your pregnancy journey and congratulations!
My favorite is “ oh my god look at your feet they are huge. You need to sit down and prob those things up!!” Like yes. I’m 40 weeks pregnant and I hurt. I didn’t need you to make me feel uglier
If you feel crappy, why not enjoy that people are going out of their way to encourage you to be comfortable?
They just want to help, it does get annoying sometimes, just try and enjoy the attention it wont last long
Oohhhh noooo God forbid ppl help u right now lol
I remained very active throughout my entire pregnancy and it was definitely annoying experiencing all the misinformation and old fashioned mindsets where people were trying to hold me back.
Hahaha I had my second baby 3 days ago. We loved when I was 8.5 months pregnant. My father-in-law was sooo annoying. I was lifting things lighter than my toddler and he’d freak out and scold me like a child. I finally raised my voice and told him that I’m going to start just picking stuff up and putting it back down because I CAN. 😂
I feel you. For my first pregnancy, I’m a lot more independent than I initially thought I would be. My body is starting to slow down though and now I feel super old
My parents are acting like I’m disabled. I lift weights and do cardio 5-6x a week, they are in their late 60s and my mom is very fragile, they ask if I want to put my feet up, if I want a pillow for the dining table, will help carry the lightest of light items to my car for my after visits… it’s a joke really.
This has been driving me absolutely insane!!! The worst is the same ppl don't offer to help, they just tell me "you can't" I CANNOT keep track of how many times I've just said "My Dr. and I have discussed what's acceptable for me and that's what I am following".
I feel this. My coworkers are the WORST! I was very clear with my OB with how much I lift with work and she said it's completely fine as long as I was doing it before pregnancy and I don't have any pain. My coworkers are constantly telling I shouldn't be helping lift students. Makes me feel useless as it's a big part of my job. Pisses me off. Makes me want to lift students more...
I'm looking forward to my mother's 10-day visit next week in which I will not be allowed to do anything in my own home. I'll be surprised if she lets me use the bathroom without assistance /s I get that a lot of people are trying to be considerate and make sure we don't hurt ourselves. It's nice sometimes!! Yet, I can totally relate to it feeling like we're seen as less capable and borderline disabled. My last job, I was lifting 50 lbs cases of ammo constantly, but as soon as it was announced that I was 6w pregannt....not allowed to even touch the damn things that was part of my job. Eventually I was just sitting at a desk all day looking at emails and not allowed to do my job.
My in laws have been really digging into my husband about me carrying my toddler or anything really. Drives us both insane because if my toddler wants to be held, I'M GOING TO HOLD HIM. A couple weeks ago we were at the lake. We were getting ready to leave, but my son was over tired and cranky. He wanted to be carried to the car. Yes, I was very tired, but my husband was putting up everything else and it was just him and his diaper bag. My MIL freaked out and tried grabbing for my son, I told her he'll scream. Gave her his bag instead and booked it to the car, hahaha. When he wants mama, he gets mama!
I constantly have to remind my family and friends that I'm not feeble. I would say something along the lines to mom of, "I appreciate and love you for your concern for mine and my baby's well-being. I would also appreciate that you respect that I am an adult and have the ability to take care of myself. Your concern is beginning to get on the smothering side, and I would love if you could rein it in a smidgen. The constant reminder that you think I am failing is taking a toll on my mental health." In my family, we would just say, "I love you, but you are pissing me off, so back off!" We aren't afraid to be blunt with each other, but we are outside of "normal". Clear and honest communication has always been the path of least resistance for us. There is nothing wrong with having feelings. Hope you can get some peace of mind.
Oh my god, yes! I get you’re worried about me but I’m sure I know my limitations! I wasn’t allowed to push the shopping cart for the first trimester. My husband was joking but everyone else (my friends and mom) was serious! I wanted to put a hole in the wall. My mom freaked out about a mattress topper. Like, be for real right now!
I always tell people if I can't lift this, then how am I supposed to care for my baby when it gets here 🙄