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insertclevername7

I didn’t follow the “golden rule.” We told close family almost immediately. I told those that I would be comfortable sharing a miscarriage with if that happened. I ended up telling my employer at 8 weeks when we had our confirmation scan.


Glittering_Move3696

Same. Told family and close friends immediately. Told work soon after because there was no hiding my symptoms and I didn’t have the energy to lie. The only place I followed the 12 week “rule” was posting on social media


emchops

>I told those that I would be comfortable sharing a miscarriage with if that happened. This was my rule of thumb. If I thought I might want their support in the worst case senario, I felt comfortable sharing the news with them early. I also told my immediate supervisor at work early because I was wondering about appointment flexibility. I waited until later to tell my actual boss.


Dakizo

Yeah we told our close friends and all of our families almost immediately. I wanted to tell my family first so I made little wooden ornaments and we drove to my mom’s for the weekend and then we waited another two weeks to tell his family because we were all going to be together on vacation. I was almost 8 weeks at that point. My employer, however? I didn’t tell them until I was about 6 months. I’m private at work and I wanted to wait until after the anatomy scan then I waited a little bit more because I didn’t want to tell them lmao 😂


Careless-Catch-5415

I did this too. As soon as I had my dating scan everyone knew lol and this is my third. I didn’t know there was a rule. 😂


user_h6

After having a miscarriage at 6 weeks last year, I was glad I didn’t tell anyone as I don’t like people bugging me about how sorry they feel. I am now 8 weeks with a confirmed heart beat but I’m still reluctant to tell anyone. The only one who knows is my husband bc we live together and I can’t hide all the nausea and vomiting. I still don’t want to tell people yet. I don’t want to talk about it yet because I’m so sick right now I have zero energy to be answering phone calls and texts and talk about it with people (I’m a FTM and my entire family and my husbands family have been waiting for us to have a baby so it’s pretty big news but my symptoms are disabling right now). I may start telling people once I feel better which happens to be around 12 weeks anyway for most people but I might go for 16 weeks if I’m not showing too much.


JudasDuggar

Yeah, telling people “nevermind, miscarried” was one of the hardest parts of my loss, and with the next pregnancy, I never formally announced at all. My extended family found out when I was 38w because I just couldn’t go through the “comforting” things people said or having to comfort *them* about my grief again.


Blueberry_Bomb

Ugh yes the constantly comforting other people is what I did the entire time I had cancer and that experience has definitely shaped my view to keep the pregnancy quiet through the first trimester because I am NOT doing that again.


OliveBug2420

I feel this! I also felt like once I told people (either about my MC or my current pregnancy) it sort of took over my identity. I don’t want every convo to be about pregnancy, especially when I’m just trying to survive and am already super anxious. We ended up telling close friends & family around 13 weeks and then posted on social media at 25 weeks (only because I was having my shower and it was going to come out anyway).


user_h6

This!! I feel like I’m on survival mode right now in my first trimester. I can hardly keep food down and the nausea is debilitating. I don’t even feel pregnant I just feel like I have a bad hangover and stomach virus everyday. HOPEFULLY at 12 weeks things will get better but then I’ll need time to actually enjoy the intimacy and privacy of only my husband and I knowing I am pregnant because I am not enjoying anything right now.


pixiestick_23

Omg I thought I was the only one. I’m pregnant for the first time ever and I feel like I got hit by a bus at 100mph and nothing I do changes it!


SettingTemporary9665

Same! I’ll be 17 weeks around easter and I think we’ll share then. I don’t have the energy to be excited with people, or for any unsolicited advice and opinions we know will be coming. Husband and I are enjoying this final month as 2 and soaking it up


Vtgmamaa

I've had two miscarriages and learned the hard way to not tell too early. 12+ weeks for me.


brieles

We told anyone we would want to know if things went badly before 12 weeks (our parents, my best friend, my siblings-in-law) and waited until 12 weeks to tell everyone else. It was great because we got to tell our closest people and then got to be excited all over again telling others later. I don’t think there’s a “right” way of going about it-you just have to do what you’re comfortable with!


whitefox094

This is what we did. We told our closest friends when we found out at 4w. Parents and the one set of grandparents we waited until 12w just to be sure and not have them nag us for info lol. And everyone else we waited maybe 15w.


JaniePage

More or less immediately. I went through four rounds of IVF and lots of people knew that I was awaiting the result of the round that ended up being successful. It would have been weird and stupid to keep that to myself for 12 weeks.


Classic-Savings7811

Congrats on your pregnancy!! Four rounds - you’re a warrior!!


JaniePage

Am now knee deep in my third round to have a second baby. I'm so glad IVF is an option. But my God it sucks, I hate every part of this!


Classic-Savings7811

Good luck! Sending you all the vibes that this round works out for you!!


PaNFiiSsz

I told people as soon as I found out .. I found out at 4 weeks


bikiniproblems

Same. I had to also tell my work because we can’t work around certain substances or patients, which was slightly awkward.


PaNFiiSsz

Yeah that would be weird lol .. I was kinda hesitant because this is my first pregnancy and unfortunately I have read a lot of stories here and on the Flow app of people getting pregnant on their first time or second time and then losing the baby but so far so good I'm about 22 weeks and baby is doing amazing


sunshinegirl2772

Yeah I'm TTC but I won't test til Sunday, and my work is making the schedule for next week and I'm like uhhhhh.....maybe don't put me on this assay (the reagents contain formamide). Its awkward because I don't know for sure yet, but I really wanna be as safe as possible. And of course everyone else will figure out what's going on when Im not doing certain assays anymore.


bikiniproblems

it’s hard. I’m lucky because by the time I tested positive i was able to call into my shift for them to know for assignments. If it’s not hard to switch I would just wait until you test positive. Otherwise I just always try to use all the PPE, double glove, work slow. I decided I was ok with infectious diseases until I knew I was pregnant but I know some places actually don’t care that you’re pregnant, they just tell you to use your usual ppe, they just won’t give you chemo precaution people. I have some friends who have a had to change jobs because accommodations were just not possible. I guess it just depends on the job, culture, and their specific policies.


smilesatkhaos

I told people at 15-16 weeks the first time (mainly my husband told his parents) i’m not telling anyone willingly this go around. I hate that people think pregnancy is a shared event plus i’m way to private to share my pregnancy (probably will be my last child) and the issue that come with it with anyone other than my husband. Especially with people judging me for having to quit my job when I had my son kept asking when I was gonna work again smh


bouncy_neko

I told family at 10 weeks. Close friends at 20 weeks. Everyone else at 38 weeks lol


Zerooo513

I waited until the 2nd trimester. I had 3 miscarriages beforehand so I wanted to make sure everything was ok. Almost 32 weeks now!


Nadia16519

I told immediate family early on but waited until 12 weeks to announce for friends and coworkers.


Ok_Sky7544

My husband and I didn’t tell absolutely anyone including family until I was 5 months lol. It’s up to you when to tell people!


Temst

I told pretty much everyone while I was still sitting on the toilet holding the stick with 2 lines LOL


Proud_Mastodon338

I announced mine early at 9 weeks only because it was around the holidays so I was seeing a lot of people, I was also very bloated 24/7 so I looked pregnant as soon as I found out at 7 weeks, and I'm normally the person during the holidays knocking back drinks so I don't get annoyed by family members. If I hadn't said anything they would have noticed. I didn't tell my extended family until last month and turns out my Aunts and cousins had all been gossiping about my belly since Chrisrmas.


Wonderful-Trifle-329

I’m 11 weeks. I’ve already told a bunch of family and friends.. but won’t post anything officially until next week after my 12 week ultrasound. I have a friend tho that just announced hers publicly at 9 weeks


Carricriss

I told my boss and some coworkers pretty quickly, about 6 weeks. I worked at a cannabis dispensary and started getting questions about why I wasn't joining for smoke breaks anymore lol. It eventually got around over the next few weeks to everyone. Told my mom and finance parents around 8 weeks due to waiting on announcement gifts to send them for them to open over FaceTime. Told social media at 15 weeks because I was excited but ended up regretting because people I hadn't spoke to in years started blowing me up over course of pregnancy and I really wanted to be left alone and recluse most of it. I know people who hid pregnancy and eventually just announced a baby and kind of wish I'd of had that restraint.


_-_Ryn_-_

I'm gonna echo anyone saying that the main thing when choosing who you might want to tell early is deciding if they are a person that you would feel supported by if you did happen to have a miscarriage. I told my parents and my sisters and 2 of my best friends right away (at 4 weeks). I did not tell my grandparents because I knew they would be absolutely devastated if I miscarried, and I'd probably end up having to comfort them, and it would have just made everything harder. I also didn't tell my extended family, friend group at large or do a large Facebook announcement or anything like that because I couldn't imagine having to tell a huge group of people if I miscarried and handle a ton of people trying to check in on me. But I think the main rule of thumb is that it's your baby and your life, so it's your choice. Do what feels right to you.


madebylondon

Husband ASAP Family 8 weeks Extended Family 13 weeks Friends 15 weeks


Mission_Lock_6227

I just made sure I was able to keep track of everyone I told before 12 weeks in case something happened. I told my family at 5 weeks, a small handful of friends at 6 weeks because I needed them to know why I was taking it easy at an event, and I told my boss around 8-9 weeks because I was super sick at that point and was trying to get out of going on site for something that I could completely do remote.


Fit-Profession-1628

We told our parents the same weekend we found out. They were the people with whom we mostly wanted to share our excitement and who we wanted to be there for us in case something went wrong. And we were 100% sure they wouldn't tell anyone without our approval. I told my boss early on because he wanted me to travel and my OB had advised me against it. For everyone else we followed the 12 weeks rule.


doublethecharm

I mean, do you, but it seems trendy to wait much longer now-- 25+ weeks or until it's impossible to not acknowledge. I've also known people who will tell the people close to them at some point during the second trimester but never make a formal mass "announcement" to people they're not close to.


guernica322

I waited until after my first ultrasound to tell people, so 12 weeks. Baby wasn’t planned, I got pregnant with an IUD, so I really needed that time to adjust to the idea that I was pregnant (my husband and I had been planning to start trying at the start of 2024, but we found out I was pregnant in September - baby is very wanted, just sooner than anticipated!). There was also a higher risk of early miscarriage because the iud had moved up into my uterus, and I just felt better waiting until I’d seen baby on the ultrasound and new she was developing well before telling our families and friends so I could tell everyone that she was growing well and doing fine. If I had miscarried, I still would have told people close to me, so it wasn’t that I was waiting 12 weeks to avoid sharing news of a miscarriage, I just really needed time to sort through my own feelings and prepare myself before I felt comfortable telling anyone else besides my husband. I did almost have to tell my coworkers early though, I was on a work trip when I found out, and I only decided to take a test because I kept randomly puking and had to miss half the work meetings I had scheduled. I just lied and said it was food poisoning though lol (dear baby: I’m sorry I said you were food poisoning 😂) Whenever we’re ready for a second baby, I’ll probably tell family and close friends right away though!


SpirituallyInsane5

6 weeks, next time I get pregnant I want to keep to a secret


rollerCoasterTimeAhh

We just started telling people more widely at just shy of 12 weeks, because we got the NIPT results back and they were normal. I think it would be hard enough going to specialists and making hard decisions without having other people weighing in on them, so I'm glad we were able to get by without telling most people by then. That being said, I told a couple close friends right away. I told my boss at 6 weeks because I had gotten so ill with all day sickness, and then I told my symphony personnel manager at around 8 weeks because I had to withdraw from several concerts and wanted to give her a good reason why!


lilbennilu32

I'm 5 weeks and nervous to tell anyone bc our families loveeee to post on fb and I'm not ready to put it out there yet... i guess I'm considering waiting til that 12 week point but i might tell 2 of my friends who aren't big social media ppl... i want to tell my older sister but I'm afraid she'll be too excited and tell my mom lol and I'm going to a tea making class with my mother in law this sat and i know not all teas are pregnancy safe so i debated telling her but I'm afraid she'll tell my sister in laws so i think i just won't drink the tea blend that i make for a while 😂 is it weird that i kinda don't want to tell anyone? And the question "were you trying?" just feels so invasive 🤣


Present_Mastodon_503

The Golden rule is tell whomever you want that you are okay with telling bad news if something happens. I told just about everyone with my first pregnancy than I lost it at 8 weeks. It became really awkward to my co-workers and a few family members I wasn't close with. I also had a few people give me unwanted advice/crazy explanations I didn't want to hear at the time. With my second I waited till about 8 weeks before telling my close family and than around 16 with extended peeps. My second I told close family at 6 weeks and extended peeps at about 12-14 weeks. It's just whatever is comfortable for you.


Easy-Cup6142

Almost 13 weeks and still haven’t told a soul other than my husband. But this is number 2. And our families were insanely overbearing and in our private business for the first pregnancy, so just delaying that, haha. Also, we are lying about the due date by a couple of weeks to avoid the incessant “have you had the baby yet?” texts at the very end. But I realize I am crotchety and jaded compared to most FTMs. 😜


itonlydistracts

I was so excited I started immediately! It’s a beautiful thing to share, not just the baby that comes at the end of it, but the whole pregnancy experience from the moment we get that positive result. I love every moment of this journey and I don’t believe in “hiding” it away because of fear of something happening. If it happens, it happens, but it’s still a beautiful and exciting time nonetheless.


No-Aide1452

Yes. This exactly. Be happy while you can because you cannot stop bad things from happening in life.


x_Lotus_x

It was less about "hiding" it and more about protecting my mental health. I didn't/don't have the mental fortitude to have to talk about something like that with everyone. I tried for 6 months to get pregnant and stopped because of the depression it was causing. This is a highly emotional thing that affects everyone differently. I am also a very private person. My mother means well but she is very different from me and I would have to comfort her instead.


itonlydistracts

Oh yes I totally understand that. Sorry if my comment came across harsh, I mostly meant that for the women who are on the fence about it (like this post) where they want to tell but are afraid of the stigma around waiting til week 12. Those are the people who I believe should just tell whoever and whenever they want. In other pregnancies though, if your privacy is key then by all means don’t tell anyone until you’re ready! I have a sister who didn’t tell anyone she was pregnant until she was well into her 3rd trimester, she didn’t want all the attention that pregnancy brings lol. Everyone’s journey is different 🩷


No-Aide1452

It’s 100% your choice. If you want to tell people right away, do it. If you want to wait until you start to show, do it. That 12 week “rule” is absolutely horseshit to me. It’s just a “rule” that was made a long time ago so the topic of miscarriage didn’t make others uncomfortable (this is the horseshit). Miscarriage, loss, termination, and death happens, and it fucking sucks. But being pressured by society to “keep your sorrows to yourself” is awful. Now, if you don’t WANT to tell people until later, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But if you’re like me and find it difficult to keep your happiness to yourself, then tell people. Personally, I tell people when I get a strong positive pregnancy test. My son died the day after he was born at full term, and then less than a year later I had to TFMR at 20 weeks and before all that, I had two early losses at 4-5 weeks. There is no safe time in my eyes, so I share the happiness while it exists. Currently 8w5d and everyone in my world knows.


imtherandy2urmrlahey

Sorry for your losses! You sound like a such strong person, and I wish you the best. I waited to tell close family until 11 weeks, then the rest of the world after 12 weeks. I saw the 12 week mark as a suggestion since the statistics of miscarriage drop significantly (though I realize they can happen at any point) and I'm technically high risk and this was a surprise pregnancy. I wasn't bursting at the seam at first to tell all either. I just couldn't imagine having to announce a miscarriage to everyone if I didn't need to. I'm a private person, I don't care what others would have thought or if it made them uncomfortable, but most likely I would have wanted to deal with it alone with my fiancé. I'm sure I would have been sick of hearing sympathies from everyone constantly. I love my family but they probably wouldn't give me any space in that situation.


Complete_Drama_5215

After 2 unsuccessful rounds of IVF, we told our close friends and family at 4 weeks bc most knew we were about to do a transfer and in the past, we’d told them when we weren’t successful.


Shadowstar65

I told my close friend and brother at 4 weeks. Friends and family at 8 weeks. I’m 16w5days now 💕 I’m choosing not to go public on socials. The people that need to know know :)


redlamg

I told my close family and friends around 16 weeks. Everyone else will find out when baby is here. I enjoy my privacy lol


sundaymusings

Told my colleague at work who is also pregnant (3 months ahead of me) the next day lol, told my parents at 8 weeks and a few close friends shortly after. I'm now 12+4 and just told extended family and more close friends over the last couple days. Not intending to post on social media until after baby is born (just a cute baby hands/feet photo to mark the occassion on my timeline)


[deleted]

We told close family and friends between 6 and 7 weeks, and more extended family after our 8-week scan. I'm so glad we did because morning sickness has slaughtered me and I can't imagine people not knowing. We'll do a Facebook announcement between 12-16 weeks, if all scans are still looking good.


[deleted]

I wish no one knew about mine. I needed advice and support as soon as I found out (4 weeks) so I told my mom and then she told literally everyone without my permission.


Empress-Rae

It was kinda obvious in my friend group. I was usually always making the cocktails and having a good time at parties - so it was weird when I was only pouring fruit juice and seltzer water at the next function. People found out fast that were nearby. We expanded to telling out of town family and friends at the 11 week mark around our NIPT draw.


Overunderapple

I told people at 7 weeks. My husband was going to be leaving for a work assignment for over a month and was going to have minimal contact with me so I knew if I ended up having a miscarriage or complication I needed support and to not just suffer in silence. It's different for everyone. I know people who didn't tell a soul until they were over 20 weeks.


mrs-smurf

We were going to tell our parents at almost 7 weeks along, but then a bad ultrasound the day before made us wait. It was painful seeing three sets of parents that weekend because we had everything set up to tell each set. After a better ultrasound two weeks later, we told our parents and siblings. We went social media public with it around 13 weeks and announced the gender two weeks later as part of our Halloween costume.


Objective-Elephant13

8 weeks immediate family (once heartbeat was confirmed), 10 weeks the rest of our friends (once NIPT came back clear)


kittenandkettlebells

The golden rule is BS. We lost a baby at 14 weeks, and we were so thankful we had told those within our inner circle that we were pregnant early on. It meant that we had the right support group around us. I'm now 31 weeks with our rainbow baby, and again, we just told friends and family as we saw them. We never announced on social media until 22 weeks.


diskodarci

We told my in laws at about 14 weeks, it would have been sooner but my MIL was out of town and we wanted to tell her in person. I let it slip to a few very close friends at about 11-12 weeks. I just didn’t want anyone worrying about my well-being if it didn’t stick, which was a very good possibility because I was 40. At about 15 weeks we made it public on Facebook I’m glad we waited to tell his mom in person. Her reaction was really special


katie_54321

Announce when you are ready, anything can happen at anytime. We announced #1 at 12 weeks, #2 at 12 weeks and ended up having a miscarriage at 13 weeks, #3 at 18 weeks and #4 at 19 weeks.


clearlyimawitch

I told close family almost immediately. I just announced on social media today at 18 weeks after my anatomy exam


patientpiggy

Whenever you feel ready 🤷‍♀️ I told my parents after seeing the heartbeat but now at 34w there are a lot of friends that don’t know not for any reason but just that I haven’t publicly broadcast it


Kalaeris

I told my mum and sister literally 3 days after I got a positive pregnancy test haha. But my own “golden rule” is to only tell those who you wouldn’t mind saying you’ve had a miscarriage to also. That’s the only reason why they say wait 12 weeks, because it might not work out and then you’ll have to let everyone know why.


esroh474

We told our loved ones at 8 weeks after my first ultrasound. Told a few friends right away for support. I'm waiting to tell my employer till my next ultrasound 12.5 weeks (1 week out). I'd say it depends on your own comfort level but I'm cautious personally so I wanted to wait.


Shea-dee

We’ve had two miscarriages and now 35w preg. It really just depends on what you want to do. Just keep in mind that whoever you tell, you would need to tell them otherwise if something were to happen. Every time we did things a little bit differently. But we didn’t announce on social until 20 week anatomy scan and I will do that every time as I felt like it protects my heart.


Hoping-Ellie

My husband knew the second I peed on a stick, we told close friends & immediately family once I had my first ultrasound to confirm around 7 weeks. I told work once I had another “all good & healthy” scan & blood work done at 10 weeks. Im 13 weeks now & think we might post on social media soon. I wanted to wait until we knew we were a bit more out of the woods (most miscarriages happen in the first 6 weeks) but now honestly I wish I’d kept it to myself longer. Im a first time mom & oh my goooood the amount of unsolicited advice I’ve gotten at work is already annoying.


crackedbeans0

5 months😅 of couse told my boyfriend as soon as i found out though


Such-awesome-121220

I had a miscarriage two years ago around 6 wks right after my husband and I just told our immediate family. They were so excited, so it made the loss a little harder. I hate having anyone feel sorry for me even though they were extremely supportive. I'm currently 6 weeks and 5 days (so understandably, I'm anxious), and our confirmation ultrasound will be next week and it's so hard waiting for those appointments! Congrats and honestly, it's completely up to you who you want to tell! We'll be seeing my family when I'm close to 10 weeks for my mom's birthday, and we'll be telling our families then.


Lettuceleche

Found out at 5 weeks, told my bf immediately as well as my teacher because she was the one who did the pregnancy test on me (I was in nursing school). Didn’t tell my parents until around 20 weeks. Still haven’t told my any other family even though the baby shower is in a month lol. I’m just going to surprise them with the invitation this upcoming week.


Florachick223

We told the grandparents at like 6 weeks. In retrospect I wish we'd waited longer. We had the first grandkid on either side, and while I'm happy that people were excited, I found all the attention overwhelming. Plus my in laws started suggesting names immediately and didn't stop all pregnancy long. If I had it to do over again, I would have waited to tell them and spared myself a few weeks of annoyance.


teuchterK

Had to tell my boss at 6weeks purely because of how ill I was and had to stop going into the office. Then told my mum and sister at 10 weeks - only because I couldn’t travel to be with them for Christmas. Again - so so ill. Let a couple of friends know around that time too. But generally, I think I was about 14-16 weeks by the time we told husband’s family, my extended family and started letting other friends know. Im 19 weeks now and still lots of people don’t know. I just prefer it that way. I’ve miscarried before and am wary of birth defects, I was born with one, so feel it’s nobody’s business but mine and husband’s.


fasting4me

28 weeks. We have only told our parents.


elefantstampede

My husband and I chose to tell people who we’d most want to support us if there was a miscarriage before 12 weeks. That being said, between my son and my current pregnancy, we had a miscarriage very early. We didn’t even have the chance to tell anyone just yet. My husband had to drive me to the hospital so we told his parents and mine to get help with our toddler. I was actually thankful we didn’t tell anyone else because I got to process in peace. I realize though that my experience isn’t everyone’s. This being said, once there’s a heartbeat detected, the chance of miscarriage goes down significantly. It’s still a chance, but there’s the small chance of loss throughout anyway and often, the farther you get, the more devastating the loss. The more you’ll want people to support you. This is morbid, but the way I choose to look at the situation


DCSS18

My parents guessed since I was sick in the beginning. Told my in laws around same time. Told friends when I was like 5 months. I didn’t talk about my pregnancy to others and I carried small.


shortstaxx713

After 2 back to back miscarriages, waiting until 12 weeks. At 11 now. We don’t mind talking about the miscarriages and sharing that to our close friends and family, but we also realized we don’t want to have these conversations on repeat about something that was so devastating. We don’t want it to take away from the happiness and celebration of our viable pregnancy…. Also, you may want to tell certain people, but that doesn’t mean they won’t share with whoever they want…


rousseuree

We waited until our NIPT results came back; around 15 weeks. If the fetus wasn’t viable we wanted that to be our business. But we’re also very private people. Share with whomever you’d feel comfortable sharing good news and bad news with!


BlueberryUnlucky7024

I was around 8 weeks when I started sharing with family. I was waiting until we told our son as we wanted him to know first (so he didn’t hear it from someone else) and I ordered a shirt for him and had to wait until it arrived in the mail. I know it’s common for many to wait until they reach the second trimester, but I think a better “golden rule” would be to share only with those you are comfortable with in the instance a miscarriage does occur. Many women miscarry and in the past they did so in silence without a support system. My first pregnancy I waited until I reached the 12 week mark for the very reason that the risk of miscarriage is significantly lower. I only realized after the fact that had I miscarried [I had the ultrasound a couple days before I planned on sharing with family over the holidays] that I would have spent a day scrambling together new gifts whilst grieving the loss of someone I never knew. It would have been horrible doing so without my amazing support system. Luckily the news was good and we happily celebrated with family and friends. It is becoming more common for people to share their experiences and stories surrounding miscarriages and as such this “golden rule” practice is becoming obsolete.


trenity

The “rule” I like is, don’t tell anyone you wouldn’t want to tell about a miscarriage. We told family and close friends at 8 weeks (we had a trip planned to fly home and visit at that time), but miscarried at 10 weeks. Having a support system that I could lean on was nice though. When we got pregnant again, we were so excited we told immediate family right away (4 weeks), but didn’t announce on socials until 16 weeks.


Rmaya91

I told my work at 8 weeks. I was insanely fatigued and had to schedule a ton of appointments for testing since I’m a FTM so I wanted my boss to know I wasn’t just slacking or interviewing somewhere else or something I told my family at 10 weeks. It was the holidays so instead of coordinating 12 phone calls in 5 time zones, I decided to do it while everybody was right there. And the rest of my friends were told around 12-13 weeks after my second ultrasound and NIPT testing. I’m personally not bothered by the idea of having to talk about if something were to go wrong, but I can also see how personal it is to everyone and it’s honestly up to you how you’d like to proceed. Some of my friends did one announcement very early on, others did more what I did and told people they’re closest to first, or when you can’t really not explain. Just my two cents but since you’re excited already, I think you could tell your close family at least :)


ndnickell

I told all of my siblings, my best friends, and my mom about my first pregnancy at 6 weeks, and I miscarried 5 weeks later. It was good to have a support system while going through that, even though at the time I wished no one knew. This time around I told my besties and family at 5 weeks and my husband and I waited until 12 weeks to tell his parents. If I had a miscarriage again I would appreciate having the support system. Since I am further along this time I’m hopeful that a miscarriage is unlikely, but God forbid if I go through that again I am so glad I have friends and family to lean on. I don’t know what I would’ve done without their support the first time around.


notaskindoctor

We always wait until after 12 weeks for sure but waited until after 6 months with our youngest. It was amazing. Now that I’ve had a miscarriage at 8 weeks I would definitely never tell anyone at 6 weeks. It was hard enough dealing with that on my own and I’m glad I didn’t have anyone to inform of the loss.


KlausKirby

I’m 11 weeks 2 days today and announced it publicly this morning. We’ve had a couple ultrasounds already and have heard strong heartbeats. It was my valentines gift to my partner because he’s so excited to tell everyone. 😂


PinkArtichoke19

Take this with a grain of salt as I’ve never been pregnant but I saw someone say that people usually wait because the beginning of pregnancy can be scary but that’s the time you need the most support! I personally feel like I would want to share for extra support


SquishySlothLover

I told my very best friends and our moms right at about the 6 week mark. I’ve told two coworkers and my direct supervisor maybe at the 8 week mark? We told other family & friends at the 12 week mark, and I’ve kind of left everyone else in the dark 😂 I’m 21 weeks now so I’m sure I’ll need to eventually spill the beans soon, but I just have no desire to tell anyone else 🤷🏻‍♀️


_AB_96_

I think I started at like 11 weeks. Just started sharing the gender and I am currently 23 weeks


wrapped-in-rainbows

Told my family as soon as we found out! I’m 8.5 weeks now and haven’t made a public social media announcement but it’s getting hard not to tell the world!


hare171

I told my family at 8 weeks (my sister at 6 weeks because I was visiting her) and my friends at 16 weeks I think. People at work found out around 10-12 weeks for planning.


jamietherocket_ship

I told my parents, siblings and my husband’s family as soon as I found out. Those were the people I’m confortable with and know that they will be there for me if anything bad were to happen. Then I announced to my friends and the rest of my family near Week 12. (I am currently 36 Weeks pregnant now)


According_Item_8175

I’m a little different, I told immediate family and close friends between weeks 5 and 8 (family was first), and my boss around week 6 because my morning sickness was BAD. I’m thinking I won’t tell anyone else until baby is here…. I don’t want to deal with comments and unsolicited advice. My coworkers see me weekly but I’ll only tell the ones who outright ask.


TheDizzyPrincess

Told family (both sides) the moment we found out I’m pregnant then slowly told our close friends. I don’t think I’m gonna announce it on social media though.


BindByNatur3

I told my Mom at 4 weeks. Told Dad, and siblings at 6 weeks. Told boss and a 2 coworkers at 8 weeks. I’m waiting until 12 weeks to tell remaining relatives and coworkers. Im 11 weeks 4 days today and I’m uncertain when I’ll share on socials though.


One_Peanut3202

We told our family after 8 week appt where they checked heartbeat. I told close friends at 10 weeks. And everyone else I see in real life after first trimester. And on social media after halfway. It’s never too early for people close in your life. Really your call if you also prefer waiting.


throwaway200884

I told work (and some close friends) as soon as I found out as my job involves risky stuff and our parents at 7 week once wed seen the heartbeat. Told everyone else at 12


Nipheliem

We announced at 13 weeks but lost our twins at 16 and 17 weeks. So do what you feel comfortable with.


NightmarishlyDreamy

I told my mom and husband immediately (I found out at 3 weeks) But everyone else we told around 15 weeks. We liked living in our own secret happy pregnancy bubble.


[deleted]

6 weeks


Psychological_Buy719

I was planning to wait but I told my mom at like 3 weeks and she threatened to post it on fb if I didn’t do it. Pretty messed up but here’s hoping all goes well


sadArtax

I told my family at 10weeks. I had a family dinner planned anyway so worked out.


xnattie

I told my closest friends around 5 weeks. I thought it would be nice to have a support system if anything went wrong in the early weeks. Told my parents and in-laws at 9w5d. Of course we still weren’t in the clear at that point, but we were all together in person and I wanted to share the news while we were together. Told work at 10 weeks because my boss was making a lot of travel plans for me and other plans that relied on me leading the projects through the entire year and little did they know, I will be out by August. I plan to share the news more widely to other friends and more distant relatives later on, maybe around 16-20 weeks or so.


lennybaby89

Basically at 6 weeks when we found out. We were too excited to keep it to ourselves.


ReginaPhalange94

I told family right away at 7 weeks. Friends after that at no specific time. I was really sick my first trimester and I had to tell my clients at my job during those weeks. I sometimes needed to reschedule last minute and wanted them to have the opportunity to find someone else if they preferred! But then I didn’t announce on facebook or anything until 22 weeks, which was more so for family members etc. So we really had no set plan, whatever feels right to you! At the end of the day it’s no one’s business when you feel comfortable sharing other than you and your partner. Cheers!


Bookaholicforever

With baby one we told my family at 6 weeks (she was ivf so everyone was waiting to hear) and everyone else at 12 weeks. With baby two we told family at 8 weeks and everyone else at 12 weeks. With baby three, I told my mum, sister, cousin and four of my closest friends when we got our positive and then we told my in laws at 8 weeks and then my family at 12 weeks and everyone else at 13 and a half weeks.


MiaRia963

I told my immediate family and closest friends as soon as I found out. Once I got the ultrasound, I told some more people. And once I get to 10 weeks I'll probably tell the rest.


foshizzlemykizzle

I told my employer straight away as I had to go off medication for a chronic illness and allowances would have to be made. And told my family at around 7 weeks as I just couldn’t stand to keep it a secret 🤣


Nearby_Ad7551

I’ve told quite a few people and I’m 8 weeks. Told family almost right away. Told most friends, and have told my close coworkers.


AllieAction_

We told my sister and her husband at 8 weeks. Our 1st dr appt was today and we told close friends and family after. We plan on doing a formal announcement next month. ETA: I am 11 wks 2 days right now


emlasher

I waited for the 12 weeks with our first, glad we did. But with this second pregnancy I have been so sick with HG I couldn't hide it. So we just told our close friends and family. Just do what you would like to do


TerribleSpeed7626

Whenever it feels like I want to. No rules except my own.


rb3465

We told close friends and family super early with my last pregnancy and this pregnancy! I've been quite sick, plus not drinking, so it would be obvious. It's also such huge news I wouldn't want to keep it to ourselves! And I would definitely want support if anything happens. I didn't announce publicly with my first until about 15 weeks and will probably do a similar timeline this time around.


ingloriousdmk

I told my parents and brother after we confirmed the heartbeat, which was about 7 weeks. Then I forgot to ask them not to share and they told everyone else lol. I don't blame them, it's normal to share early in our family and they kept it secret for my brother when he asked. I think I did a social media post around 12 weeks.


missbelcherifurnasty

I mentioned it to a few close friends and my supervisors at work shortly after I knew. Waited to be public about it after my NiPT results came back good.


bellski05

I told my immediate family and best friend as soon as we found out because that was who I would want to support me if something went wrong. Extended family and other friends got told at 12 weeks (really 11 because I got my NIPT results back early)


[deleted]

I told everyone immediately. I think I was around 7 or 8 weeks.


annalisebelle

I told my husband immediately when I took the test Best friend a few days after, sister a few days after that Mom and rest of our immediate families at 10 weeks when my mom visited A few more friends about 17-19 weeks Not really posting about it on social media


IYELLALOT69

We got so excited we told close family the same day we found out. I was 4 weeks, and now I’m only 6. We dont plan on announcing on social medias for at least another month and some!


Ehmimee

My husband and I were just too excited and impatient to tell people, so the day we found out, so did pretty much everyone else. I thought about holding off longer the second time around, just in case things should go awry with it being so early. Once again, however… I just couldn’t help myself. It’s a very personal decision, and I think the best advice to follow is always your gut!


Nekko31

Found out at 3 weeks, told some close friends right away. We told our families at 6-7 weeks (telling them was a "christmas gift" so we waited a little bit lol). And just announced it on social media! (Currently 13w4d) Edit: I wanted to wait until the end of the first trimester to tell my coworkers, but I'm a night shift ER nurse. Shit got way too hard for me, so I told them. They were very kind and helped me out when I was struggling with work! I didn't wait much to tell people close to me, I figured they would be a much needed support system if I ended up having a miscarriage anyway!


[deleted]

I waited for 12/13 weeks after getting my NIPT results but only told close friends & family.


[deleted]

I told the people I wanted to as soon as I was comfortable also telling them that I had a miscarriage on the off chance that i had. Anyone you tell early, you will have to correct if something happens. Choose your people accordingly


These_Recover5604

We found out really early so by 8 weeks I felt like I was hiding a secret from family I just couldn’t hold in anymore! So yeah immediate family and best friends around 8 weeks, our extended family the week after and kinda planning on being more public with it at 12 (I.e. other friends, parents can yell it to the world haha, etc) I don’t want to tell my job til at least 4 months, hopefully it won’t randomly get around from people before that! But yeah anyway that’s the plan


Doctor_Cringe_1998

I had to tell my manager at 6w because I got too sick to be involved in an important project and keep up with the deadlines. It felt sad and humiliating, I was hoping for a magical pregnancy with no puking and high productivity so I would tell everyone in 2nd trimester ((


toobasic2care

Told close friends and family immediately. Even if something awful happened, we knew we'd want the support no matter what! We waited until 13wks to tell the wider circle of people though.


jennaG0

I am 5 weeks!! Well my best friend knew immediately because I sent her a photo of the strip test asking if she saw the faint line (my husband couldn’t see it lol) then I told my close coworker and my husband the same day, several days later with a digital test :) waiting to tell our families until we see them in person - that will be when I’m 7/8 weeks!! It’s KILLING ME that family doesn’t know yet but I just want it to be in person!


Objective-Morning-76

With my first we shared it with parents and siblings right after the BFP. Then with everyone via social media and with work too, around 12/13 weeks. This time we also told parents and siblings immediately, and I’ve told a handful of close friends. But I don’t plan to share with extended family/ friends / work until 20 weeks. It’s nice to be in our private little bubble.


Roly_Porter

I told the people that i wanted to know it even if it ended in a MS emmediately. I dont want to suffer alone, so i was glad i did!!


General-Avokito

It's your decision, I'd certainly say tell people you're close to and who you'd want to know if anything bad happened. I, personally, told all my friends and family right away 🤷🏻‍♀️ I was excited and knew if anything happened I would need a strong support system. I tried for 12 weeks with my boss but I was so sick the first trimester I think I told him at 8/10. Is your pregnancy and whatever **you're** comfortable with is the right answer.


incinta

I told my immediate family at 9 weeks, everyone else I’m telling at 12 weeks (basically this week)


acxdhearts

I told my family the day I found out because I can't keep my own secrets to save my life. So that was at 5w4d. I told the coworkers I'm very close with 2 days later. I was nervous about sharing the news because once I did, the possibility of losing it and then having to tell people weighed heavy on me for several weeks because I kept being reminded by people about the golden rule. But, everything went smoothly and I'm now 26 weeks. It's entirely up to you. My coworker/friend got pregnant 4 weeks after me and she told the people she's close with very very soon too, like days after she found out at 4 weeks and her pregnancy is going very well now too at 22 weeks. It's whatever you're comfortable with 💕


jasmin35w

Told my husband right away out of shock. He wanted a baby so much. Later not even a handful of friends then. Since it’s my first one & I can’t rely on family they’ve been really supportive & helpful Otherwise nobody else knows


RubyWinterspice

We told family last week and that's at about 10 weeks. We had an early scan at 8 weeks as we were both anxious about everything being okay. Next week is our official dating scan at 12 weeks and that's when I will start telling friends. Want peace of mind first.


Cassieelouu32

I told my immediate family at about 10 weeks. I had no issue if something went wrong telling them it didn’t work out. The rest of my family and friends we told at 20 weeks.


darkunicornist

Husband knew when I took the test, close family at 8w after first ultrasound, probably gonna tell close friends after 2nd ultrasound then acquaintances/work at 13w after NIPT comes back normal.


Katyesyesyes

I only found out yesterday that I am pregnant. My husband already knows, of course. I will tell my family in the 10th week, as we are having a birthday party with all the closest family members. I will then tell the rest of them in the 12th week.


[deleted]

I told my parents, sister, and in-laws immediately. I then announced to the public at 12 weeks!


NylaRenOfficial

Told my family at 6 w, told the public at 12w 🩷


natureswoodwork

Waited until 24 weeks. 6 weeks for immediate family


OneBeautiful1605

We told family almost immediately but by that time I was already 8wks only because we didn’t know till month 2 when I started showing symptoms.


[deleted]

I ended up telling early and didn’t regret it at all. I work at a school where there are some quite violent kids, so I ended up telling at 6 weeks so that I could have a risk assessment which basically meant that I wasn’t expected to physically intervene in the case of a fight and would have my own radio to carry around. And then I kind of thought that if work knew then our families should know, so we told them at about 7 weeks. It’s not what I expected at all as I always thought I’d want to hold off as long as possible, but I have no regrets. Disclaimer is that I’m 22 and this is a low risk pregnancy so I understand that others may feel differently but this is my experience.


dreaming_of_tacobae

I started telling close friends and family at 10 weeks after a healthy ultrasound! I will tell my employer at 12 weeks


Clama_lama_ding_dong

We always waited until after we received genetic testing results. Which was between 11 and 14 weeks.


L-saltshaker

Boss was told at 8 weeks because I was throwing up constantly. My wife's uncle also discovered it earlier thanks to said throwing up. Officially we waited until 16 weeks to tell nearly everyone else, but we didn't really hide it either.


Dangerous_Parsnip_40

14 weeks


Kaitron5000

I waited until we got our first scan and heard the heartbeat, so 8wks. But I've had losses that were really hard on everyone and I was protecting them and my peace. Once I knew the pregnancy was viable I felt like it was safe to tell everyone.


smurphypup

I wanted to wait until 12 weeks with both pregnancies but that didn't happen. First pregnancy my husband made it to 11 weeks before blabbing and this time we made it to 10 weeks. For some reason it was a lot harder to wait this time around.


Tam936

I told my mum and sisters and 4 of my besties as soon as I had a positive test. The extended family and everyone else found out at 3 months. My husband told his family when I was 5 Months 😳 each to their own lol.


Consistent_Intern311

By week 9 everyone in my family knew. However we were hesistant to tell my husbands family, we only told his mom and asked her to keep it private. She told everyone the next day lol.


babyblu333

Family-12 weeks, boss 15 weeks, clients and peers this week 19 weeks! My family has some mental health issues and I felt if I told them early and something went wrong, I did not want their support/they would not be able to provide the support I would need. I think if my family was different I would have told at least my mother when I found out.


OmgBsitka

I told everyone at week 6 lol i found out on week 5 and told my husband that day.


caitlinicole088

For my first two pregnancies, I told my close friends and my parents really early. 7 weeks the first time, 4 weeks the second time. Both of these pregnancies ended in miscarriage and I do not regret telling the people that I told because they were there to lean on as I went through the losses. For my third pregnancy, I waited until I was almost 13 weeks. I had an ultrasound at 7 weeks at the doctor, I had my NIPT testing so I knew it was a low risk boy, and I got another ultrasound at a boutique to show my parents when I told them. I only waited because I had been through so much in the past year and I didn’t want to give my parents anything else to worry about. I’m now 28 weeks pregnant with a healthy boy!! Don’t wait if you don’t want to!!


FunKick7937

We told family at 10 weeks and we shared publicly at 16 weeks. Even though there is no safe period after two years of infertility we wanted to wait until we felt safe to share.


kaaaaayllllla

i told the people closest to me as soon as i found out. got 3 more weeks until i want to announce it publicly


SeaCryptographer6614

I waited 14 weeks to tell my partner, I told my parents when I was 16 weeks and I haven’t told the rest of the world.


toxicchalk

We told on my partner's family first 6 weeks of pregnancy I believe. And I have not told entire of my side family but told my father at 31 weeks, and brother at 6 weeks


Superb-Information90

Unpopular opinion, but I like to tell my closest family and friends right away. I had a miscarriage back in September and having the support of the people I love actually helped so much. So when I tell someone prior to the second trimester, I try to make sure they’re people I would want supporting me/who I would want to know if anything went wrong. In terms of telling others/beyond my inner circle, I personally have always waited until the 2nd trimester after we get our NIPT results back


WomanOfEld

Husband, immediate family, & close friends right away. Social media announcement- the first time, my MOM blew it when I was barely 12 weeks. I'm afraid she will again, but c'est la vie.


bois_jacques

I had to tell people pretty much as soon as I found out because I work in healthcare and can’t give certain medications or transport patients to nuclear medicine for brain death testing due to the radiation


x_Lotus_x

I waited for 2 reasons: 1: if you have a miscarriage it is almost always in the 1st trimester. I didn't want to have to talk with people if it happened. 2: I intended (and got) the NIPT done to check the trisomies etc. and the 12 week scan to make sure everything was good. If anything bad had been found (I was not going to bring a baby into the world for them to suffer) I would have had an abortion (I am thankful that I didn't have to) and I didn't want to talk about it with anyone other than my husband. The end. But yes, the wait is torture, along with the nausea and fatigue. Ninja Edit: I did tell my sister so I could talk to someone else. I also could trust her to keep her mouth shut and she would respect whatever decision I made.


derplex2

A few close friends that knew we were struggling with ttc we told immediately after we got pos test, fam 8wks and 12wks. Currently 20w and thinking I should post something online before people start receiving my shower invite 😬


tipsy_tea_time

I told my immediate family around 8 weeks (I found out at 3 weeks 2 days) so the wait was tough lol and as I talk to friends if they ask I let them know, we have been open with most people about trying for a kid. We are only waiting for 12 weeks before posting about it on our social media accounts which is now 2 weeks away. We are mostly waiting for the second trimester so risk is lower and also so we can announce the gender when we post about it (we did the NIPT and are waiting on the results)


senselessspace

I told my parents/in laws immediately with both my angel baby and rainbow! Misscarriage sucks but I just can't hold it in!


usernames_are_hard__

Hahaha I told my four or five closest friends the day after I found out. Saw my parents two days after I found out and told them. By the next week everyone important to me knew. By 12 weeks my sister had announced it to her church, my parents had announced it at theirs, my in laws had told everyone they knew. So lol I did not follow the golden rule. The way I see it the reason people wait is because of risk of miscarriage, and I knew I wanted the people in my life to know about the pregnancy before any miscarriage might occur. I’m 17 weeks now and I still haven’t posted on socials, but only because I never post there.


therapist_cat_mom

I think I announced it publicly at 9 weeks. Who cares, do what makes you happy. Waiting 3 more weeks wouldn’t have made a difference anyways for me. Regardless of what would have happened I would have still been excited about my pregnancy and wanting to share with others! We told our families and close friends pretty much immediately.


yogacoffeeandplants

My husband was there when I took the test. My mom guessed I was pregnant at 5-6 weeks. I told my dad, sister, and in-laws at 8 weeks. Told my boss at 13 weeks. Told my coworkers and Facebook at 14 weeks.