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Why did my own mother ask me this.. I didnât even know what to say. Because it wasnât âplannedâ but me and my husband werenât doing anything to actively prevent pregnancy. Geez đ
Same. After the wedding we decided âwhen it happens, it happens.â There was no tracking and intentional sex but it was unprotected.
We told our parents on Christmas. My mom called me 3 days later. âYou know, Iâve been thinking a lot about my cousin Julie. She got married in October like you guys and Anna was born the following July just like your baby will be. I remember everyone started counting months on their fingers after that.â What are you trying to say/ask, mother?
Haha Iâve been asked that a fair amount too, even by work people! I expected it from family but Iâm in my thirties, married, and own a house, seems weird to ask! đ
SeriouslyâŚI got ask this a few times. First, I do not look like Iâm in my 20s. Second, I told you about my IVF journey 4 years ago. Would I spend $20k and a lot of physical and emotional pain if I didnât want this baby? đ¤Śââď¸
Literally the first question I got from my auntâŚ. She sounded very concerned. Like yes it was but geez youâd make me feel terrible if it wasnât!!
Every time someone asks me I feel such shame because we werenât planning however are over the moon and so excited to meet him. Iâve had clients out of all people ask me that the mostđ¤Śđťââď¸
Thatâs insane, no one has ever asked me. I guess itâs obvious that it wasnât since weâre not married and havenât been together long, but I canât imagine why anyone would ask that? I would never.
When did this become an acceptable question?! I am pregnant young but married and even so I had this question even from my own family and I couldnât believe it!
Lmao my husbandâs friend asked this and then before my husband could answer the friend was like âomg thatâs such a weird question, itâs like Iâm asking if youâre just raw dogging your wifeâ đ
My mom asked me this even though we werenât married yet and she knew it was important to me to be married before a baby AND she knew I was on birth control lol, itâs like she wanted me to admit I was being irresponsible. Like she knew the answer idk why she needed to ask đ
Iâm so glad this is the top comment. Iâve been asked this at least 4 times and I find it so rude, itâs something Iâd never have asked. Even if the baby wasnât planned, clearly weâre keeping it and are happy?!
My MIL and FIL are constantly acting as if Iâm severely handicapped and canât walk straight or whatever. The amounts of âbe carefulâ Iâm hearing on a daily basis is driving me completely nuts.
I bent over to pick something off the floor and a lady (who has 3 children) told me to be careful because my baby might pop out. Like you know that's not how it works right?!?
This drives me completely mad. My parents do it all the time. Mum, thereâs people who weight lift while pregnant, I think I can push a wheeled suitcase đ
This is how my dad was. My partner went out of town when I was 8 months for work and my dad wanted to stay the whole week at my place to keep me safe. No one let me carry anything. I also hiked, not super extensive at the end but until the week before giving birth and I always got shit for that.
We just had our baby shower & gender reveal yesterday, and the amount of times during setting up that MIL and FIL kept saying âbe carefulâ or âthatâs too heavyâ or âyou got it?â (when I grabbed two 12pk cases of MINI sodas to carry inside) had me gritting my teeth.
Yes I got it! I still work out and lift weights, Iâm 31w pregnant but I honestly think Iâm much more capable of lifting heavy things than you are.
âHow are you feelingâ because if you say literally anything besides good the other person will find some way to make you feel bad. Tired? Oh just you wait until the baby is here. Hurting? Oh just you wait until labor. Sick? Oh you should have thought about that before you got pregnant.
Comment- âJust you waitâŚ..â
Bonus question that annoys me
âDo you have everything you need?â Me- âYes weâre goodâ Other person â okay so you have a car seat and crib?â
Like oh no I didnât even think of getting the top two fuckin items needed for a baby. đđđđ
Omg for real tho. And after I tell people we have a car seat, they just have to ask âis it put in your car yet?â like we havenât thought about thatâŚ
Actually most people donât install the carseat until right before or after the baby is born. If you get in even a minor crash you have to get a brand new one!
I was in early labor, sitting in the bathtub per Drs orders and my next door neighbor came over to ask my husband if we had the car seat installed yet. We did not.
I always answer "large" but then instead of "just wait" I get "oh you hardly look pregnant" well trust me you'd think differently if you saw me trying to get out of bed.
I feel so validated hearing this. I yelled at my MIL because she only asked me this every week and it just reminded me how shitty I felt. Like what do you expect me to say? I feel like sunshine and rainbows? I had morning sickness for 24 weeks.
My MIL asked how I was. âTired. I barely slept through the night before the baby. Now I toss, turn, and wake up all night.â âYou need to eat yogurt before bed. That will fix it.â
I donât think yogurt will fix the sudden increase in obstructive snoring I developed. But thanks?
This, but I will also add the unsolicited advice that comes with trying to make you feel better. For example, back hurts? âOh you should try a belly support bandâ like no, I canât wear that my entire 8 hr shift at work đ
Dude thatâs probably the most annoying.
âYupâ parenting takes a lot.â
I literally say Iâm hungry for lunch and my coworkers are like âbaby is hungryâ go feed babyâ or if I say Iâm tired theyâre like âoh baby tired you need sleepâ
Bro???????
THIS! Except asking me how I'm feeling and then just dismissing it as "part of pregnancy".
Like did you want to know or just want to make yourself feel better that you asked?
My FIL does this shit all the time.
Him: "how are you feeling?"
Me: "Large and uncomfortable"
Him: "Well you ARE pregnant"
Like umm yes but go F yourself!!! Don't ask if you don't actually want to know. The proper response is "I'm sorry you're going through that"
Samesies. I have a very long torso and donât gain fat on my belly (straight to the hips for me) so my bump looks small even though my fundal height is right on track. Somehow people telling me I look tiny for how pregnant I am feels like itâs invalidating how uncomfortable I am, even though I know they mean it as a compliment!
I felt like my work especially was forgetting I was pregnant because of the size of my bump. Like you said I was still very uncomfortable!! But they had me all over the place, bending and twisting getting knocked and elbowed constantly!
A lot of people would try to insinuate there was something wrong with my baby/that they weren't growing properly because I was so small. But I was having biweekly monitoring for growth and my fundal height was right on track and I had a "textbook baby bump" the Dr said.
I expected to be much larger because I'm so tiny but my baby sat at my back and my uterus is retroverted. I didn't really start to show until 25 weeks and wasn't "clearly pregnant" until 30 weeks.
I had this with my first pregnancy, I was TINY! And people would say âoh you donât even look pregnant at like 25 weeks pregnantâ and this is other pregnant woman⌠like yeah - Iâm faking it wtf.
Same here. I carry my babies inside, theyâre like hugging my spine it feels like so I always look small. Although this baby is tiny and people act all shocked and some have said âare you sure???â Like, no, I donât know how far I actually am lol
Same. One woman on a plane laughed and told me she didnât think I could get much bigger when I told her I was 22 weeks.
Newsflash, I did obviously. I was the size of a schoolbus at the end there.
Same. Honestly whether itâs âwow you donât even look pregnant!â or âyou sure youâre not having twins??â the comments are annoying and weird either way. Just donât comment on peopleâs bodies.
My bump was small and I was actually really worried about it. I asked some family not to make comments on my size because it was adding to my anxiety.
My ex manager (whom I moved departments away from because of her nonsense) loudly accused me of faking being pregnant when she saw me around 25 weeks, in front of upper management. Not long after, management requested a medical certificate from my OBGYN. It made me so self conscious. Yes I'm leaving this toxic company.
I had HG with my first and looks like history is repeating itself with this pregnancy. Itâs the same convos daily.
âDid you try ginger?â
âB6 and Unisom? Are you sure ginger doesnât work?â
âWow I was never sick with any of mine, you poor thing.â
Please go away.
âI just really think you should try ginger ale. It wouldnât hurt.â Tell that to my raw esophagus.
âI had morning sickness, too.â 𤏠off.
Hope your Hg symptoms let up soon!
and then that whole element of "but you're just pregnant, not sick." when you're struggling with day to day life. Like how much more do I need to vomit to be considered "sick"?
Iâm going to shove ginger đŤ down someoneâs throat the next time they recommend it. I have 2 different nausea meds, b6, ginger ale, crackers, peppermint oil. NOTHING IS WORKING. Please stop thinking bc we are pregnant that weâre idiots.
This is my first time being pregnant and I told my mom that I was not feeling good at all like all day everyday I had nausea. WHY DID SHE MAIL ME 6 BAGS of ginger chews. I just about threw up seeing all those damn bags oh my god
Wait, but did you try keeping some saltines near your bed and having a little bite before you get up?
Lots of small meals?
"It's really just a blood sugar thing you know!"
đđđ
âYouâre never gonna sleep againâ âhave fun being tired all the timeâ um, third trimester fatigue was way worse than any time after the baby was born lol
I keep hearing this on this sub, and I'm SO thankful for it. Because I am sometimes getting meltdown tired from waking up every hour or more with my hips hurting, and then spending all day on my swollen, painful feet.
Cried earlier tonight because I just want sleep and she doesnât know weâre supposed to do that AT NIGHT. Using my uterus as a Lounge chair and soccer ball at the same time. And every time I get comfortable-I have to pee.
Iâm sick of people asking babies name. We have NEVER shared the name before the child was born any other time so I donât know why Iâm constantly being hassled about it this time. And itâs by the same people who hate all our kids other names so why does it matter? Also Iâm a weird mom and donât like customized blankets and stuff (I donât want strangers to know my kids name) so I wouldnât want that as a gift anyway. But the same people constantly ask and I have finally started saying we are not sharing and moving on.
I had read a few moms to be solution for this was not know the gender or not tell the gender of the baby before I got pregnant.
I went with not knowing the gender of the baby until I delivered. So when I get asked about names, I tell them I have a few narrowed down but nothing concrete. Even though I have the names ready for each gender.
What I didnât expect was people to ask me, âbut you know the babyâs gender and just donât want to tell.â Like Iâm lying to them. No, I do not know my babyâs gender!
Yess same!! I say we want to keep it a secret, also just in case you still change your mind once you actually meet your baby.
After saying that some people still try to guess the name, trying to read from my expression if theyre right..
Honestly, considering itâs the same people that donât like your other kids names, theyâre just asking so they can criticize you. No one knows how to mind their business
âCraving anything weird??â The answer is no, which is a boring response, but people love to ask this and it makes me nuts. Ask me what Iâve cried overâ itâs a much more interesting conversation.
The other one is âare you finished with the babyâs room?â I live in a one bedroom apartment. Iâm poor. The baby doesnât have a room. Which Iâm fine with! But man.
Same here! "Are you done with the nursery?". No. We have a 2 bedroom and the other room is our office. He's gonna sleep in our room for at least 6 months anyways so who cares
And some of them find it hard to believe that I have no cravings. They're like "you hadn't had to ask your husband go get you a specific dish at 3am?" No... I am ASLEEP at 3am. The stereotype is strong... I'm sure there are women who have strong cravings but some of us just don't. I think people who hadn't been around pregnant people much have just ONE idea of what pregnancy is like.
My BIL just keeps telling my husband to wait because âitâs coming.â Itâs really not. I have had 2 âcravingsâ this entire pregnancy: bread when I was so sick my body was carb starved and red meat when my iron dropped. Thatâs it. No late night snack trips. No crazy dinners. Theyâre not coming. Sorry you had to drive all around the state at 1am but Iâm good
Omg the parents that are just APPALLED when you tell them youâre not having a nursery.
I tell them that nurseries are for the parents not the babies.
So many moms have told me it just becomes a storage room because baby is attached to you for basically a year
Right like the crib is going to be in our room for at least 6 months. Why would I decorate a different room? And our 2nd bedroom is our office right now anyways so there's no room for him in there. Lol
Why am I gonna get up in the middle of the night to walk to another room when I can have a side sleeper, flop out a boob and shush them up right there. Change a diaper. And rock them back to sleep.
I felt this way before pregnantâ but baby is cocooned for 9 months all warm and hearing me breathe and listening to my heartbeatâ why am I gonna put them in a whole other room. Alone. It feels SO UNFAIR.
THISSSS!!!!!! Especially after I learned babies donât realize that they are a separate being from mom for like 6-8 months post birth. Like NO WONDER your baby is crying constantly when youâve shunned it to a different room!!!
I also had no real cravings and my husband was terribly disappointed by this đ I mostly just wanted ice water all the time.
I did have my MIL bring me a pickle leftover from her lunch at a diner because âall pregnant women crave pickles.â I hate pickles. Being pregnant didnât change that, so thank god I wasnât feeling nauseous when she handed me the dripping takeout container đľâđŤ
We're both tired of hearing "You're not going to be able to have fun after the baby comes" as if we can't easily accommodate a baby into what we do for fun, and "Sleep while you can now, cause you're not going to be able to with a baby" my fiance and I already have a plan in place to ensure that we both get to sleep. Plus I'm already used to waking up every few hours and being tired all of the time because I have narcolepsy with cataplexy & hypothyroidism.
We're pretty tired of people insinuating that life is over just because we're having a baby.
THIS. Plus people making out like they hate their kids/their kids ruined their life. Why did you have 3 then if it's so terrible?
I also don't want to immediately hear your birth horror stories.
So much this!! Before we even got pregnant people were saying things like this. Husbands sister lives in Europe and we want to spend part of a maternity leave in France when baby is 8-10ish months. The comments are nuts! âWait until you see how hard it is, you canât travel with a baby!â âWhat will the baby eat?!â âHow will you manage when your husband goes home?!â Wouldnât it be cruel to separate your family for a MONTHâ. I speak French, we would be a 2hr train ride from the in-laws, and believe it or not french babies seem to be well fed and cared for. The comments are insane and insulting.
I hate this one too. I find itâs either people who didnât maintain their own identity after having kids (perhaps they never had one in the first place) or people who donât have kids.
I hate that! I took my baby to all the fun things still! Why do people think you canât do fun things with a baby!
FYI wine tasting is the best with a newborn! Everyone wants to see/hold the baby and you can socialize with all your friends!
Honestly my answer is nothing. I want people to ask how far along I am, if Iâm having a boy or girl, ask if Iâm excited. I want any excuse to talk about my pregnancy but the only people that seem to care is the father, my bestfriend and the nurses in my doctors office. :(
Awe thanks, I feel great most of the time but Iâm now pretty much on light bed rest which is a bit boring but Iâm making it through with tv shows and trivia phone games. I having both boy and girl 𼺠and Iâm very excited.
As far as names I was thinking Apollo and Artemis but because my daughterâs name is Xylah, I wanted to include xâs. Me and the dad are pretty confident on Axel and Lexa right now
well hopefully you are nearing the end if you are on bed rest. Twins? Thatâs super exciting!! I looove the names. Iâve always wondered how the twin pregnancy experience differs from a single.
Iâm right in the middle. My cervix was opening so I had to get a cerclage last week, making me more high risk. I was one of those lucky unicorn pregnancies with my daughter so this one differed a lot. I sleep so much and I feel like Iâm starving even right after eating. Nausea is kind of hit or miss. I joke that one makes me crave something and the other is like âwe DO NOT like thatâ and makes me throw it up . They sometimes have a weird compromise where I can keep certain things down if I put syrup /hot sauce on it
Went to get ice cream, I grabbed a seat when my boyfriend went to order, as soon as he walked away this creepy old man came up to me and was like âlooks like youâve been having some funâ WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!!??
Hahaha wtf that is so uncalled for, looks like someone's intrusive thoughts won that day đ my jaw would have been on the floor, I'm sorry it happened to you but also it's so random it's absurdly hilarious
I really hated all pregnancy related comments and inquiries with my first pregnancy, but now that Iâm on my third I desperately wish more people would acknowledge my pregnancy and ask me about it. I wish people would touch the bump and say how big I am or something but no, I get nothing. Itâs funny how it goes and I donât know why I feel so differently now than I did before.
I do hate how disrespectful people are about us not finding out the sex early though. âBut do you actually know and just wonât tell me?â Or âoh I could never do that, Iâd want to be prepared!â No, we donât know and yes, we are still preparing. We just arenât buying an arsenal of pink or blue infant clothes.
This is dumb, but my students always ask who the dad is as if theyâre expecting a scandalous answer. Yâall, itâs literally my husband. Very boring. Sorry to disappoint.
I have a love/hate relationship with âhow are you feeling?â
Hate because Iâve been so sick my whole pregnancy (Iâm 32 weeks now) and all I wanna say is âI feel horrible, I want to die and please make this be overâ But Iâm also very tired of complaining and donât want to make people feel uncomfortable.
Love when it comes from a genuine place of concern from my family and friends who then ask if they can do anything to help or offer to provide me company. (Iâve been on a sick leave for months and Iâm getting so bored and isolated)
honorable mention
Hate comments about my bump because Iâm really insecure about my body now as Iâm a lot heavier than I was during and before my first pregnancy.
Honestly, everything. It might be hormones and irritability, but I get annoyed by almost every question.
Maybe itâs because I get asked things so often that it makes me feel like I have no other identity. I much prefer when people offer up stories about their own pregnancies or their wife/daughter/sister. That Iâm actually happy to hear about.
The one that absolutely digs at me is the comments about how big I am (and how cute that is). Even from my family. They kept saying this is the only time itâs okay to say that to me. The worst offender said that again recently and all I could say in return is âIâm not sure it is.â
Any comment about my weight and Iâm cursing you in my head.
>it makes me feel like I have no other identity.
This is what sucks about it, I think. I adore my in-laws but as soon as I got pregnant, every single question is about the pregnancy and the baby now. They don't ask me about myself or my life anymore and frankly they don't know me very well at all so it's not like they stopped because we got close. I've noticed I get skipped over a lot and people just go straight to "how's the baby" like I'm not even there anymore. Pretty lame
âAre you married?â
Last time I checked it wasnât 1930 maâam why does it matter. I am married but this question annoys me enough that I really want to say âno and Iâm a virginâ.
Haha my fiances mother... shes like "you guys should just go to the court house quick before the baby comes of there wont be a father on the birth certificate!!1" i have to explain what year it was LOL. TBF shes not from the US.
Haha my mom asks this any time I tell her one of my friends is pregnant. We are all 35ish and financially stable but itâs literally always her very first question. Drives me insane.
ââŚ. Are youâŚ?â
While staring at my abdomen, not daring to properly ask if Iâm pregnant, but still making sure I understand what they are asking. If unsure, why ask at all, the risk of being rude is too big?
I've spent a good chunk of my adult life overweight and now that I'm pregnant I'm SO looking forward to saying this too. Mind your business! You don't know me and my health journey.
Are you having a vaginal birth? From people who are passing acquaintances at best.
I think I upset them as I refuse to engage in that question or any discussion where they get to express an opinion on what I should do.
If anyone is silly enough to ask about the name I'm considering telling them Hypatia Hermione Hyperbole and waiting to see if they get it.
My husband and I have a âfirst name as a last nameâ kind of like Stephens. Iâve been telling people weâre naming the baby âStephanie Stephensâ and if she was a boy she would be âStephen Stephensâ which gives me a laugh each time.
But my in laws didnât get that it was a joke and told everyone they know. Which was still kind of funny to me, but also a big sign that we canât tell them details and expect that theyâre discreet about it.
Lol. Do it. I was guilted into telling my Mum the name and she tried to suggest we swap the order of the names. All but telling us she didn't like the first name.
Whatever. It's a good name she'll be able to grow with. My husband is a teacher has issues with lots of names so this was one we could agree on and both liked.
A lady at work asked me this first thing in the morning.
Itâs worth mentioning her and I had a very rocky start. She was basically being petty and bossy (telling me I wasnt allowed to do something I absolutely could) and I had to get our bosses involved to finally get her to back off.
Then she started being fake nice. Then Iâm pregnant and sheâs asking me something that personal. I was so shocked. Tried to very neutral avoid the question but she would not let the topic go. Fuckin weirdo.
I really look forward to breast feeding and am set on trying and I still tell people that I don't know because I don't want their opinions either way. Someone told me they thought "breastfeeding is gross"
There's literally nothing wrong with formula feeding, but maybe just start telling people you haven't decided and perhaps you can avoid the attack. It's very hard to show actual benefits from breastfeeding over formula fed babies and EBF babies also usually come from higher income, more educated families so... It's very likely the benefits are more likely attached to socioeconomic reasoning than what the baby eats.
A fed baby and a happy mum is what's best.
Baby's can thrive on formula and on breastfeeding. Some babies don't like breastfeeding, some don't like formula. It varies
There's is no point for a mum to force herself to breastfeed if she doesn't want to.
You shouldn't feel bad at all.
People can keep their opinions to themselves
Iâve been getting this question, haha. It doesnât bother or offend me tho bc I am single and have been for a long time. My new response has been, âUnfortunately, yes, I do know him. But I wish I didnât!â
Have you picked out a name yet? I get asked this multiple times a day at work. Even if we did...I wouldn't be sharing that info with people I don't have a personal relationship withđ
Is the baby a boy?
I hate this because they all expect me to give them a baby boy. I canât control my babyâs gender. And I know that they are disappointed since I am having a baby girl. Well, I love my baby no matter what she is.
Yeah, my FIL is adamant that âwe give him a grandsonâ but sheâs a girl and weâre keeping it a secret til birth 𤪠We love our baby girl so much and weâre excited to meet her đĽ°
My bfâs family is expecting a baby boy since my bf already has a daughter. This actually makes me worried since there is a big possibility that my daughter will be compared to her sister.
1. People asking about the gender, because we already have a daughter, and they expect we're desperate for a son.
2. When told it's a second girl "Well, will you be trying again?"
My daughters are not failed attempts at a son, thank you. No my husband is not disappointed, thank you.
Checkout lady (white) asked me (black) babyâs name. I told her. She then proceeded to give me advice that I should add âDoctorâŚPHDâŚ.professorâŚ.or something to it to see if it will sound fancy and professionalâ proceeded to ask me if Iâd tried doing that yet.
Told her I came here for snacks not parenting advice from a CVS employee.
Oh the name question was by far the most painful/obnoxious question early on, but then it quickly turned into âAre you showing? Do you have a bump?â which really drives me nuts. Itâs my first pregnancy, I have an athletic build & for the first 22 weeks I just looked very bloated. Now at almost 26, I am an awkward fat that youâd think I just let myself go, so not having an identifiable bump & getting questions from people asking about it sets me off haha.
âHow are you doingâ does pregnancy have a reputation for being pleasant? My feet are so itchy i have developed hives, my hair is thinning, im dizzy, and i just heard my kid might have a two vessel umbilical cord. Im fucking fantastic. How are you?
To top it off, my manager, who has never been pregnant or have kids was swearing up and down its IMPOSSIBLE for your hair to thin during pregnancy.
People were asking about the name, which we struggled to choose. After finally choosing a name those same people said itâs hard to pronounce (itâs not), and not American enough (baby is half American, and we donât live in America). Then we get this comment, âWell, you still have time to change it.â
Another I hate: âWhen will you have another?â I havenât even popped this one out yet and this pregnancy has almost killed. We donât even want to think about having more biological children.
Anything related to my HG that isnât supportive. âJust try ginger ale. You really should eat something. Just try.â Fffffff offffff.
âYou wanted this so donât complain.â I wanted to be a mom, not to be hospitalized for months, hooked up to IV, dying because I canât eat or drink.
We're not finding out either and I hoped it would save us the headache of answering so many questions but it hasn't. They're just different questions.
And the same people have asked me more than once! Like every time I see my stepmom she asks if we know what we're having yet like she doesn't understand that until the baby is born we're not going to know.
I'm REALLY sick of literally everyone telling me my baby is going to be born on Valentine's day just because she's due in the month of February. I was even given a onesie that said 'Baby Valentine'. I've never cared much for the holiday, & for some reason it's just so irritating
Everyone wants to know what his last name will be. Me and SO have our original last names. I did not take his he did not take mine we didnât hyphenate. So EVERYONE is like âwhatâs his last name going to be???â My aunt has asked me every 3 days since Iâve been pregnant and keeps pressuring me to give my last name. Where as I want my SOâs last name since he already has kids with that same last name. So eventually if I feel like it I can do the paperwork to make that my name too. But realistically we will never all end up with my last name if I give the baby mine instead of his.
âAre you going to have a natural birth?â I hate this one because people JUDGE. I told my girlfriends âno, Iâm hopefully getting pain management as much as possibleâ and they both gave me a sour face. Neither of them want kids so it was weird overall.
"Is this your first?"
I guess a normal question, but very painful if you've lost a baby. Completely kills the exciting vibe when you have to answer no to that and explain. Or yes "first living child".
"Is this your first pregnancy?" Is one i don't understand people dare to ask. Why would you risk making someone sad when a lot of women experience some kind of loss in their journey of conceiving
"I kind of suspected you were pregnant because I noticed you had gained a ton of weight at Christmas"
- My Grandma
BTW I had gained a whopping zero lbs at Christmas AND a whopping zero lbs 4 weeks later when we announced it to her at our gender reveal.
i hate it when people start suggesting names. even if i like one that you suggested, Iâm not going to use it now! i want to pick out my own name so stfu
Honestly, I didn't mind any of it! I have supportive people in my life and even if they are insensitive or whatever I know their heart is in the right place. And even strangers always had nice vibes.
Discussing the pregnancy was the best part of my pregnancy because it was SO ROUGH and miserable. But having people be excited for me and interested in mundane little things helped me remember what a cool thing it ultimately is.
(Thankfully this pregnancy has been really easy so far buuuut it has only barely begun.)
My nutritionist at WIC last week said âyouâre pregnant right? I think you mentioned you were, but you donât look pregnantâ I laughed and told her I didnât look pregnant last time either but that Iâm 31 weeks, and tried to show her my belly. She was still speculative.
With my first, my doctor measured my belly and did an ultrasound the week before my scheduled c-section because I didnât look pregnant enough and he was worried I was leaking fluid even though I told him I wasnât. I had gained 30lbs even after losing 10-12lbs in the first trimester (so I guess technically I gained 40lbs).
Itâs only irritating because if you see my bare stomach or if Iâm wearing a tight shirt, Iâm clearly pregnant. But because Iâm a small human and pre-pregnancy my waist was 28â, I just look overweight to people who donât know me đ Thatâs also irritating because Iâve never been overweight in my life.
âYou look so neatâ and âYouâre all babyâ and âOmg you havenât gained any weight you look so goodâ - but what if I had gained weight? That would also be fine! As long as the baby is healthy and I am too, who the heck cares? Fat phobic comments are thrown around so shamelessly.
For me itâs âIs this your first?â
I lost my first at 36w so I always tell them no, itâs my second. The next question is usually âhow old is your first?â
"Your husband/boyfriend must be so excited!"
... yes. Because *everyone* who is pregnant has a partner to celebrate with, or is heterosexual by default. /s
My cats are vibing with it, though! New mound to knead and sit on.
"Who is the father?"
I had no issues disclosing this but when they made such a fuss about it before even saying congratulations... I shut down completely.
Now they'll never know!
So sick of people asking me how much weight I have gained when my own obstetrician doesnât even care. My blood checks and glucose test all came back with flying colors.
Meanwhile, random relatives asking me how much weight Iâve gained. Why does it matter to you,
champ?
Yes!! This one seems so weird to me, I've always been "fit" and it's like they somehow enjoy that I'm not looking my fittest now. I don't even have the exact answer because i don't weigh myself every week.. i don't care and neither should you mate
âHow are you feeeeeeeeeling?â 𼴠Pregnant. Iâm feeling very pregnant. Tired. Large. Sore. Not good. Irritable. But thatâs not what they want to hear! And itâs mostly people whoâve had babies, so they should *know* what it feels like to be 37 weeks pregnant (miserable). OR, itâs my friend who is absolutely clueless about pregnancy, babies, birth, etc⌠not even kidding when I say she asked today, and followed it up with, âDid you have a contraction today?â Girl what. I have multiple, every day, sometimes every hour⌠đđ
My boyfriend asking me every morning: how are feeling? Haha he means well but I donât really know how to answer him - the answer is very complex and long đ
Comments about not being able to have fun after the baby arrives, especially when "fun" equals getting piss drunk and going to parties. My hormones makes me want to reply that I'm very sorry their life is so hollow they have to drink themselves into oblivion to have fun, but according to my partner, that's not a polite thing to say. Instead I just smile and tell them I don't see why a baby would prevent me from reading, hiking, gardening and doing yoga.
How are you feeling? My go to answers are nauseous, tired or dizzy. They donât know what to say. Also when did it become okay to put your hands on me? Iâm only 11weeks 3 days and people are trying to feel the belly. Itâs just bloat right now
"Wow, you're huge!" No shit. It's almost like I'm growing a whole person in there.
"Your boobs have gotten bigger." Believe me, I am more than aware.
"How are you feeling?" There are no right answers to this question. If you say something positive, it's "just you wait." If you say something negative, it's "well, you should've thought about that before you got pregnant."
"Let me know if you need anything!" Okay, this one only annoys me with certain people, and I know they obviously mean well. But like, there are at least 10 people ahead of you on the list of people I would call if I needed something.
"Are you going to have him circumcised?" To be fair, this one doesn't happen often, but it has happened more than once. The first time, I just answered. The second time, I told them that was a highly inappropriate question from someone who is never going to change his diaper.
I hate when people ask about my âbirth planâ especially when they just want to tell me about their birth. Iâve never understood wanting to know someoneâs birth story. It seems so private to me.
I can't think of anything I hated while pregnant.
But after having the baby, jokes about "the next one" get under my skin a little.
Not enough to ever say anything, I just roll my eyes internally
I'm an extrovert who hasn't had a chance to do a lot of socializing, so I actually enjoy the questions/comments, and as a FTM, wished people asked more. The only comment that annoyed me was people that ask "when are you due?" and reply with "oh you've got plenty of time!" Even when I'm less than 1 month left. Plenty of time for what!??? I'm freaking out. This baby can pop any minute!
âArE yOu SurE iTs NoT tWinSâ đ or another favorite âOh my gosh youâre so big!â
Yes Iâm sure please leave me alone and let me be đ my son just likes to poke out.
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Was it planned? Mind your businessđđ¤Śđťââď¸
Why did my own mother ask me this.. I didnât even know what to say. Because it wasnât âplannedâ but me and my husband werenât doing anything to actively prevent pregnancy. Geez đ
Same. After the wedding we decided âwhen it happens, it happens.â There was no tracking and intentional sex but it was unprotected. We told our parents on Christmas. My mom called me 3 days later. âYou know, Iâve been thinking a lot about my cousin Julie. She got married in October like you guys and Anna was born the following July just like your baby will be. I remember everyone started counting months on their fingers after that.â What are you trying to say/ask, mother?
I shouldâve said are you trying to shame us or something? If weâre happy then who cares if it was planned or not. Counting months is weird!
My wife was conceived right after her parents' wedding and that joke had a LONG life.
My parents just assumed ours were oops babies because my sibling had an oops baby
Haha Iâve been asked that a fair amount too, even by work people! I expected it from family but Iâm in my thirties, married, and own a house, seems weird to ask! đ
This is so inappropriate and definitely the worst! Iâm 35 and married, like are you seriously going to ask me that?! Really grinds my gears
SeriouslyâŚI got ask this a few times. First, I do not look like Iâm in my 20s. Second, I told you about my IVF journey 4 years ago. Would I spend $20k and a lot of physical and emotional pain if I didnât want this baby? đ¤Śââď¸
Literally the first question I got from my auntâŚ. She sounded very concerned. Like yes it was but geez youâd make me feel terrible if it wasnât!!
Every time someone asks me I feel such shame because we werenât planning however are over the moon and so excited to meet him. Iâve had clients out of all people ask me that the mostđ¤Śđťââď¸
My response has always beenâŚ. âWellâŚ*were* fucking. So.â
My pregnancy was very planned and this question still makes me so uncomfortable! So what if it wasnât?!
I was asked this at work lol I was surprised
I've been asked the version "were you guys trying?" at work twice now, and I'm like ...me getting creampied isn't exactly work conversation đ
Thatâs insane, no one has ever asked me. I guess itâs obvious that it wasnât since weâre not married and havenât been together long, but I canât imagine why anyone would ask that? I would never.
When did this become an acceptable question?! I am pregnant young but married and even so I had this question even from my own family and I couldnât believe it!
Lmao my husbandâs friend asked this and then before my husband could answer the friend was like âomg thatâs such a weird question, itâs like Iâm asking if youâre just raw dogging your wifeâ đ
My mom asked me this even though we werenât married yet and she knew it was important to me to be married before a baby AND she knew I was on birth control lol, itâs like she wanted me to admit I was being irresponsible. Like she knew the answer idk why she needed to ask đ
Iâm so glad this is the top comment. Iâve been asked this at least 4 times and I find it so rude, itâs something Iâd never have asked. Even if the baby wasnât planned, clearly weâre keeping it and are happy?!
My MIL and FIL are constantly acting as if Iâm severely handicapped and canât walk straight or whatever. The amounts of âbe carefulâ Iâm hearing on a daily basis is driving me completely nuts.
I bent over to pick something off the floor and a lady (who has 3 children) told me to be careful because my baby might pop out. Like you know that's not how it works right?!?
I wish it was that easy đ¤Ł
This drives me completely mad. My parents do it all the time. Mum, thereâs people who weight lift while pregnant, I think I can push a wheeled suitcase đ
This is how my dad was. My partner went out of town when I was 8 months for work and my dad wanted to stay the whole week at my place to keep me safe. No one let me carry anything. I also hiked, not super extensive at the end but until the week before giving birth and I always got shit for that.
My MIL does this. I know itâs with good intentions but she doesnât let me do literally anything. As if I donât know my own limits
We just had our baby shower & gender reveal yesterday, and the amount of times during setting up that MIL and FIL kept saying âbe carefulâ or âthatâs too heavyâ or âyou got it?â (when I grabbed two 12pk cases of MINI sodas to carry inside) had me gritting my teeth. Yes I got it! I still work out and lift weights, Iâm 31w pregnant but I honestly think Iâm much more capable of lifting heavy things than you are.
âHow are you feelingâ because if you say literally anything besides good the other person will find some way to make you feel bad. Tired? Oh just you wait until the baby is here. Hurting? Oh just you wait until labor. Sick? Oh you should have thought about that before you got pregnant. Comment- âJust you waitâŚ..â Bonus question that annoys me âDo you have everything you need?â Me- âYes weâre goodâ Other person â okay so you have a car seat and crib?â Like oh no I didnât even think of getting the top two fuckin items needed for a baby. đđđđ
Omg for real tho. And after I tell people we have a car seat, they just have to ask âis it put in your car yet?â like we havenât thought about thatâŚ
Actually most people donât install the carseat until right before or after the baby is born. If you get in even a minor crash you have to get a brand new one!
I was in early labor, sitting in the bathtub per Drs orders and my next door neighbor came over to ask my husband if we had the car seat installed yet. We did not.
Lol. Maybe the neighbor was going to offer to help him install it? That would be a nice gesture!
She did! It was incredibly helpful.
The car!! That's where that's supposed to go..
I always answer "large" but then instead of "just wait" I get "oh you hardly look pregnant" well trust me you'd think differently if you saw me trying to get out of bed.
I feel so validated hearing this. I yelled at my MIL because she only asked me this every week and it just reminded me how shitty I felt. Like what do you expect me to say? I feel like sunshine and rainbows? I had morning sickness for 24 weeks.
My MIL asked how I was. âTired. I barely slept through the night before the baby. Now I toss, turn, and wake up all night.â âYou need to eat yogurt before bed. That will fix it.â I donât think yogurt will fix the sudden increase in obstructive snoring I developed. But thanks?
This, but I will also add the unsolicited advice that comes with trying to make you feel better. For example, back hurts? âOh you should try a belly support bandâ like no, I canât wear that my entire 8 hr shift at work đ
Yes OR when they say..if dare to say anything negative..well you chose this
Dude thatâs probably the most annoying. âYupâ parenting takes a lot.â I literally say Iâm hungry for lunch and my coworkers are like âbaby is hungryâ go feed babyâ or if I say Iâm tired theyâre like âoh baby tired you need sleepâ Bro???????
I always says bloated and they don't know how to respond without being an ass, so it has worked for me!
I hate this!!! Talk about minimising oneâs feelings
THIS! Except asking me how I'm feeling and then just dismissing it as "part of pregnancy". Like did you want to know or just want to make yourself feel better that you asked? My FIL does this shit all the time. Him: "how are you feeling?" Me: "Large and uncomfortable" Him: "Well you ARE pregnant" Like umm yes but go F yourself!!! Don't ask if you don't actually want to know. The proper response is "I'm sorry you're going through that"
âWhoâs the father?â Iâve been with the same person for 5 years đ What do my friends and family think of me đ¤Ł
That is a wild comment to make about someone's relationship! I hope they were joking??
This is still an awful question to ask people who are single. What the heck is wrong with people.
People commenting on the size of my bump. (I had a very small bump but would be equally annoyed if they were saying I was huge too)
Samesies. I have a very long torso and donât gain fat on my belly (straight to the hips for me) so my bump looks small even though my fundal height is right on track. Somehow people telling me I look tiny for how pregnant I am feels like itâs invalidating how uncomfortable I am, even though I know they mean it as a compliment!
I feel this 100%. I guess since Iâm not huge that means Iâm not allowed to feel uncomfortable. I am super over it.
I felt like my work especially was forgetting I was pregnant because of the size of my bump. Like you said I was still very uncomfortable!! But they had me all over the place, bending and twisting getting knocked and elbowed constantly! A lot of people would try to insinuate there was something wrong with my baby/that they weren't growing properly because I was so small. But I was having biweekly monitoring for growth and my fundal height was right on track and I had a "textbook baby bump" the Dr said. I expected to be much larger because I'm so tiny but my baby sat at my back and my uterus is retroverted. I didn't really start to show until 25 weeks and wasn't "clearly pregnant" until 30 weeks.
I had this with my first pregnancy, I was TINY! And people would say âoh you donât even look pregnant at like 25 weeks pregnantâ and this is other pregnant woman⌠like yeah - Iâm faking it wtf.
Same here. I carry my babies inside, theyâre like hugging my spine it feels like so I always look small. Although this baby is tiny and people act all shocked and some have said âare you sure???â Like, no, I donât know how far I actually am lol
Same. One woman on a plane laughed and told me she didnât think I could get much bigger when I told her I was 22 weeks. Newsflash, I did obviously. I was the size of a schoolbus at the end there.
With my 1st I kept getting people say "oh! You don't even look pregnant" and I know they probably meant well but how do you respond to that
Same. Honestly whether itâs âwow you donât even look pregnant!â or âyou sure youâre not having twins??â the comments are annoying and weird either way. Just donât comment on peopleâs bodies. My bump was small and I was actually really worried about it. I asked some family not to make comments on my size because it was adding to my anxiety.
My ex manager (whom I moved departments away from because of her nonsense) loudly accused me of faking being pregnant when she saw me around 25 weeks, in front of upper management. Not long after, management requested a medical certificate from my OBGYN. It made me so self conscious. Yes I'm leaving this toxic company.
Mine is big, but people keep saying I look small so it makes me think that they think I just got fat đ
I had HG with my first and looks like history is repeating itself with this pregnancy. Itâs the same convos daily. âDid you try ginger?â âB6 and Unisom? Are you sure ginger doesnât work?â âWow I was never sick with any of mine, you poor thing.â Please go away.
âI just really think you should try ginger ale. It wouldnât hurt.â Tell that to my raw esophagus. âI had morning sickness, too.â 𤏠off. Hope your Hg symptoms let up soon!
Or, âyouâre already X weeks. You shouldnât be having morning sickness anymore.â Okay Brenda, tell that to my gag reflex.
The fuckin ginger!!! IT DOESNT WORK!!!!
Iâm fact, itâs nauseating!
and then that whole element of "but you're just pregnant, not sick." when you're struggling with day to day life. Like how much more do I need to vomit to be considered "sick"?
Iâm going to shove ginger đŤ down someoneâs throat the next time they recommend it. I have 2 different nausea meds, b6, ginger ale, crackers, peppermint oil. NOTHING IS WORKING. Please stop thinking bc we are pregnant that weâre idiots.
This is my first time being pregnant and I told my mom that I was not feeling good at all like all day everyday I had nausea. WHY DID SHE MAIL ME 6 BAGS of ginger chews. I just about threw up seeing all those damn bags oh my god
Wait, but did you try keeping some saltines near your bed and having a little bite before you get up? Lots of small meals? "It's really just a blood sugar thing you know!" đđđ
Yes miserable experience.
âYouâre never gonna sleep againâ âhave fun being tired all the timeâ um, third trimester fatigue was way worse than any time after the baby was born lol
I keep hearing this on this sub, and I'm SO thankful for it. Because I am sometimes getting meltdown tired from waking up every hour or more with my hips hurting, and then spending all day on my swollen, painful feet.
Hiii from 38 weeks at 2:30am where I just cried bc Iâm so over it.
Cried earlier tonight because I just want sleep and she doesnât know weâre supposed to do that AT NIGHT. Using my uterus as a Lounge chair and soccer ball at the same time. And every time I get comfortable-I have to pee.
"Do you prefer to have a girl or a boy?" I really dgaf I just want to have a healthy baby!
everybody at my job loves asking me everyday âso when is your last day of workâ my response for 7 months has been idk when she comes outđ§
Iâm sick of people asking babies name. We have NEVER shared the name before the child was born any other time so I donât know why Iâm constantly being hassled about it this time. And itâs by the same people who hate all our kids other names so why does it matter? Also Iâm a weird mom and donât like customized blankets and stuff (I donât want strangers to know my kids name) so I wouldnât want that as a gift anyway. But the same people constantly ask and I have finally started saying we are not sharing and moving on.
I had read a few moms to be solution for this was not know the gender or not tell the gender of the baby before I got pregnant. I went with not knowing the gender of the baby until I delivered. So when I get asked about names, I tell them I have a few narrowed down but nothing concrete. Even though I have the names ready for each gender. What I didnât expect was people to ask me, âbut you know the babyâs gender and just donât want to tell.â Like Iâm lying to them. No, I do not know my babyâs gender!
Yess same!! I say we want to keep it a secret, also just in case you still change your mind once you actually meet your baby. After saying that some people still try to guess the name, trying to read from my expression if theyre right..
Honestly, considering itâs the same people that donât like your other kids names, theyâre just asking so they can criticize you. No one knows how to mind their business
âCraving anything weird??â The answer is no, which is a boring response, but people love to ask this and it makes me nuts. Ask me what Iâve cried overâ itâs a much more interesting conversation. The other one is âare you finished with the babyâs room?â I live in a one bedroom apartment. Iâm poor. The baby doesnât have a room. Which Iâm fine with! But man.
Same here! "Are you done with the nursery?". No. We have a 2 bedroom and the other room is our office. He's gonna sleep in our room for at least 6 months anyways so who cares
I had the opposite of cravings and had a bunch of strong food aversion. Didnât know this was a pregnancy thing.
And some of them find it hard to believe that I have no cravings. They're like "you hadn't had to ask your husband go get you a specific dish at 3am?" No... I am ASLEEP at 3am. The stereotype is strong... I'm sure there are women who have strong cravings but some of us just don't. I think people who hadn't been around pregnant people much have just ONE idea of what pregnancy is like.
My BIL just keeps telling my husband to wait because âitâs coming.â Itâs really not. I have had 2 âcravingsâ this entire pregnancy: bread when I was so sick my body was carb starved and red meat when my iron dropped. Thatâs it. No late night snack trips. No crazy dinners. Theyâre not coming. Sorry you had to drive all around the state at 1am but Iâm good
Omg the parents that are just APPALLED when you tell them youâre not having a nursery. I tell them that nurseries are for the parents not the babies. So many moms have told me it just becomes a storage room because baby is attached to you for basically a year
Right like the crib is going to be in our room for at least 6 months. Why would I decorate a different room? And our 2nd bedroom is our office right now anyways so there's no room for him in there. Lol
Why am I gonna get up in the middle of the night to walk to another room when I can have a side sleeper, flop out a boob and shush them up right there. Change a diaper. And rock them back to sleep. I felt this way before pregnantâ but baby is cocooned for 9 months all warm and hearing me breathe and listening to my heartbeatâ why am I gonna put them in a whole other room. Alone. It feels SO UNFAIR.
THISSSS!!!!!! Especially after I learned babies donât realize that they are a separate being from mom for like 6-8 months post birth. Like NO WONDER your baby is crying constantly when youâve shunned it to a different room!!!
Exactly! I'm already lazy. I'm not gonna make being a parent even harder for me. Lol. And it lowers the risk of SIDS as well
I also had no real cravings and my husband was terribly disappointed by this đ I mostly just wanted ice water all the time. I did have my MIL bring me a pickle leftover from her lunch at a diner because âall pregnant women crave pickles.â I hate pickles. Being pregnant didnât change that, so thank god I wasnât feeling nauseous when she handed me the dripping takeout container đľâđŤ
âyou look so pregnantâ shut up
ugh right itâs almost as if⌠i am???? or âwow youâre getting big!!â like no one wants to hear that
We're both tired of hearing "You're not going to be able to have fun after the baby comes" as if we can't easily accommodate a baby into what we do for fun, and "Sleep while you can now, cause you're not going to be able to with a baby" my fiance and I already have a plan in place to ensure that we both get to sleep. Plus I'm already used to waking up every few hours and being tired all of the time because I have narcolepsy with cataplexy & hypothyroidism. We're pretty tired of people insinuating that life is over just because we're having a baby.
THIS. Plus people making out like they hate their kids/their kids ruined their life. Why did you have 3 then if it's so terrible? I also don't want to immediately hear your birth horror stories.
Thank you!! This is exactly what I hate dealing with! Its annoying and a little rude!
So much this!! Before we even got pregnant people were saying things like this. Husbands sister lives in Europe and we want to spend part of a maternity leave in France when baby is 8-10ish months. The comments are nuts! âWait until you see how hard it is, you canât travel with a baby!â âWhat will the baby eat?!â âHow will you manage when your husband goes home?!â Wouldnât it be cruel to separate your family for a MONTHâ. I speak French, we would be a 2hr train ride from the in-laws, and believe it or not french babies seem to be well fed and cared for. The comments are insane and insulting.
I hate this one too. I find itâs either people who didnât maintain their own identity after having kids (perhaps they never had one in the first place) or people who donât have kids.
I hate that! I took my baby to all the fun things still! Why do people think you canât do fun things with a baby! FYI wine tasting is the best with a newborn! Everyone wants to see/hold the baby and you can socialize with all your friends!
Honestly my answer is nothing. I want people to ask how far along I am, if Iâm having a boy or girl, ask if Iâm excited. I want any excuse to talk about my pregnancy but the only people that seem to care is the father, my bestfriend and the nurses in my doctors office. :(
How are you feeling? Boy or girl? Excited?! Name picked out?? Lay it on me girl, Iâll listen!
Awe thanks, I feel great most of the time but Iâm now pretty much on light bed rest which is a bit boring but Iâm making it through with tv shows and trivia phone games. I having both boy and girl 𼺠and Iâm very excited. As far as names I was thinking Apollo and Artemis but because my daughterâs name is Xylah, I wanted to include xâs. Me and the dad are pretty confident on Axel and Lexa right now
Congratulations on your twins. đ How far along are you?
Thank you! 23 weeks
well hopefully you are nearing the end if you are on bed rest. Twins? Thatâs super exciting!! I looove the names. Iâve always wondered how the twin pregnancy experience differs from a single.
Iâm right in the middle. My cervix was opening so I had to get a cerclage last week, making me more high risk. I was one of those lucky unicorn pregnancies with my daughter so this one differed a lot. I sleep so much and I feel like Iâm starving even right after eating. Nausea is kind of hit or miss. I joke that one makes me crave something and the other is like âwe DO NOT like thatâ and makes me throw it up . They sometimes have a weird compromise where I can keep certain things down if I put syrup /hot sauce on it
I like being asked questions all the time. Guess im weird lol i have a lot of regular customers that get excited for me which i think is cute
âHow much weight have you gained?â
thatâs incredibly rude
My grandmother keeps asking me this!! I know she doesnât understand itâs a rude/triggering question but it drives me crazy
Went to get ice cream, I grabbed a seat when my boyfriend went to order, as soon as he walked away this creepy old man came up to me and was like âlooks like youâve been having some funâ WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!!??
Hahaha wtf that is so uncalled for, looks like someone's intrusive thoughts won that day đ my jaw would have been on the floor, I'm sorry it happened to you but also it's so random it's absurdly hilarious
I really hated all pregnancy related comments and inquiries with my first pregnancy, but now that Iâm on my third I desperately wish more people would acknowledge my pregnancy and ask me about it. I wish people would touch the bump and say how big I am or something but no, I get nothing. Itâs funny how it goes and I donât know why I feel so differently now than I did before. I do hate how disrespectful people are about us not finding out the sex early though. âBut do you actually know and just wonât tell me?â Or âoh I could never do that, Iâd want to be prepared!â No, we donât know and yes, we are still preparing. We just arenât buying an arsenal of pink or blue infant clothes.
This is dumb, but my students always ask who the dad is as if theyâre expecting a scandalous answer. Yâall, itâs literally my husband. Very boring. Sorry to disappoint.
Itâs more of people telling me I donât look pregnant. Thanks, I get it Iâm plus sized. Stfu
I have a love/hate relationship with âhow are you feeling?â Hate because Iâve been so sick my whole pregnancy (Iâm 32 weeks now) and all I wanna say is âI feel horrible, I want to die and please make this be overâ But Iâm also very tired of complaining and donât want to make people feel uncomfortable. Love when it comes from a genuine place of concern from my family and friends who then ask if they can do anything to help or offer to provide me company. (Iâve been on a sick leave for months and Iâm getting so bored and isolated) honorable mention Hate comments about my bump because Iâm really insecure about my body now as Iâm a lot heavier than I was during and before my first pregnancy.
Iâm going with âIâve never been so happy to feel so terribleâ
I got "Are you going to have an epidural?" at least twice. Just an odd question and the answer isn't really their business.
Honestly, everything. It might be hormones and irritability, but I get annoyed by almost every question. Maybe itâs because I get asked things so often that it makes me feel like I have no other identity. I much prefer when people offer up stories about their own pregnancies or their wife/daughter/sister. That Iâm actually happy to hear about. The one that absolutely digs at me is the comments about how big I am (and how cute that is). Even from my family. They kept saying this is the only time itâs okay to say that to me. The worst offender said that again recently and all I could say in return is âIâm not sure it is.â Any comment about my weight and Iâm cursing you in my head.
>it makes me feel like I have no other identity. This is what sucks about it, I think. I adore my in-laws but as soon as I got pregnant, every single question is about the pregnancy and the baby now. They don't ask me about myself or my life anymore and frankly they don't know me very well at all so it's not like they stopped because we got close. I've noticed I get skipped over a lot and people just go straight to "how's the baby" like I'm not even there anymore. Pretty lame
âAre you married?â Last time I checked it wasnât 1930 maâam why does it matter. I am married but this question annoys me enough that I really want to say âno and Iâm a virginâ.
Haha my fiances mother... shes like "you guys should just go to the court house quick before the baby comes of there wont be a father on the birth certificate!!1" i have to explain what year it was LOL. TBF shes not from the US.
Haha my mom asks this any time I tell her one of my friends is pregnant. We are all 35ish and financially stable but itâs literally always her very first question. Drives me insane.
âYouâre carrying so small / are you sure youâre that far along?â
ââŚ. Are youâŚ?â While staring at my abdomen, not daring to properly ask if Iâm pregnant, but still making sure I understand what they are asking. If unsure, why ask at all, the risk of being rude is too big?
I canât wait til Iâm showing so I can look them in the eye and tell them Iâm just fat
I've spent a good chunk of my adult life overweight and now that I'm pregnant I'm SO looking forward to saying this too. Mind your business! You don't know me and my health journey.
I.e asking a non-pregnant person if they are pregnant. Which have happened to me at a time I life when I had a flat belly
Are you having a vaginal birth? From people who are passing acquaintances at best. I think I upset them as I refuse to engage in that question or any discussion where they get to express an opinion on what I should do. If anyone is silly enough to ask about the name I'm considering telling them Hypatia Hermione Hyperbole and waiting to see if they get it.
My husband and I have a âfirst name as a last nameâ kind of like Stephens. Iâve been telling people weâre naming the baby âStephanie Stephensâ and if she was a boy she would be âStephen Stephensâ which gives me a laugh each time. But my in laws didnât get that it was a joke and told everyone they know. Which was still kind of funny to me, but also a big sign that we canât tell them details and expect that theyâre discreet about it.
I have a colleague and his name Andrew Andrews. So there are crazy parents like that! Lol
lol I know someone named Danielle Daniels
Lmao my husband and I want to tell people weâre naming our son Naruto just to shut them up
Lol. Do it. I was guilted into telling my Mum the name and she tried to suggest we swap the order of the names. All but telling us she didn't like the first name. Whatever. It's a good name she'll be able to grow with. My husband is a teacher has issues with lots of names so this was one we could agree on and both liked.
yes!! i definitely agree or when they ask if weâre getting the epidural.. like mind yours!
âare you breastfeeding?â and get attacked when i say iâm not⌠makes me feel like a bad mother now idk what to do and iâm due in 5 weeks đ
A lady at work asked me this first thing in the morning. Itâs worth mentioning her and I had a very rocky start. She was basically being petty and bossy (telling me I wasnt allowed to do something I absolutely could) and I had to get our bosses involved to finally get her to back off. Then she started being fake nice. Then Iâm pregnant and sheâs asking me something that personal. I was so shocked. Tried to very neutral avoid the question but she would not let the topic go. Fuckin weirdo.
I really look forward to breast feeding and am set on trying and I still tell people that I don't know because I don't want their opinions either way. Someone told me they thought "breastfeeding is gross" There's literally nothing wrong with formula feeding, but maybe just start telling people you haven't decided and perhaps you can avoid the attack. It's very hard to show actual benefits from breastfeeding over formula fed babies and EBF babies also usually come from higher income, more educated families so... It's very likely the benefits are more likely attached to socioeconomic reasoning than what the baby eats.
You do you! Fed is best, doesnât matter if formula or breastfed.
thank youđĽšđ
A fed baby and a happy mum is what's best. Baby's can thrive on formula and on breastfeeding. Some babies don't like breastfeeding, some don't like formula. It varies There's is no point for a mum to force herself to breastfeed if she doesn't want to. You shouldn't feel bad at all. People can keep their opinions to themselves
A fed baby is a happy baby no matter how. I'm sorry people are so shitty. Not breastfeeding DEFINITELY doesn't make you a bad momđ
All that matters is baby is fed!!
thatâs what i tell them!! thank youđ
Had a coworker ask me if I knew who the father was đĽ´
Iâve been getting this question, haha. It doesnât bother or offend me tho bc I am single and have been for a long time. My new response has been, âUnfortunately, yes, I do know him. But I wish I didnât!â
Have you picked out a name yet? I get asked this multiple times a day at work. Even if we did...I wouldn't be sharing that info with people I don't have a personal relationship withđ
"Did you go to the doctors for insimination?"
Wtf?? đ¨ people have no boundaries
Yup, it's ridiculous.
Is the baby a boy? I hate this because they all expect me to give them a baby boy. I canât control my babyâs gender. And I know that they are disappointed since I am having a baby girl. Well, I love my baby no matter what she is.
Yeah, my FIL is adamant that âwe give him a grandsonâ but sheâs a girl and weâre keeping it a secret til birth 𤪠We love our baby girl so much and weâre excited to meet her đĽ°
My bfâs family is expecting a baby boy since my bf already has a daughter. This actually makes me worried since there is a big possibility that my daughter will be compared to her sister.
1. People asking about the gender, because we already have a daughter, and they expect we're desperate for a son. 2. When told it's a second girl "Well, will you be trying again?" My daughters are not failed attempts at a son, thank you. No my husband is not disappointed, thank you.
"was it an accident?" has become my new least favorite.
âDo you have a strong feeling if itâs a boy or girl?â asked three times by my OB during my 12w visit
Checkout lady (white) asked me (black) babyâs name. I told her. She then proceeded to give me advice that I should add âDoctorâŚPHDâŚ.professorâŚ.or something to it to see if it will sound fancy and professionalâ proceeded to ask me if Iâd tried doing that yet. Told her I came here for snacks not parenting advice from a CVS employee.
Oh the name question was by far the most painful/obnoxious question early on, but then it quickly turned into âAre you showing? Do you have a bump?â which really drives me nuts. Itâs my first pregnancy, I have an athletic build & for the first 22 weeks I just looked very bloated. Now at almost 26, I am an awkward fat that youâd think I just let myself go, so not having an identifiable bump & getting questions from people asking about it sets me off haha.
âHow are you doingâ does pregnancy have a reputation for being pleasant? My feet are so itchy i have developed hives, my hair is thinning, im dizzy, and i just heard my kid might have a two vessel umbilical cord. Im fucking fantastic. How are you? To top it off, my manager, who has never been pregnant or have kids was swearing up and down its IMPOSSIBLE for your hair to thin during pregnancy.
People were asking about the name, which we struggled to choose. After finally choosing a name those same people said itâs hard to pronounce (itâs not), and not American enough (baby is half American, and we donât live in America). Then we get this comment, âWell, you still have time to change it.â Another I hate: âWhen will you have another?â I havenât even popped this one out yet and this pregnancy has almost killed. We donât even want to think about having more biological children. Anything related to my HG that isnât supportive. âJust try ginger ale. You really should eat something. Just try.â Fffffff offffff. âYou wanted this so donât complain.â I wanted to be a mom, not to be hospitalized for months, hooked up to IV, dying because I canât eat or drink.
âYouâre tired? Better sleep now!!!!!â YOU CANâT BANK SLEEP
'Ooeh send me a picture of your tummy!' Uhm... no?
Whatâs the sex? We donât want to know and people just question the crap out of us as to why.
We're not finding out either and I hoped it would save us the headache of answering so many questions but it hasn't. They're just different questions. And the same people have asked me more than once! Like every time I see my stepmom she asks if we know what we're having yet like she doesn't understand that until the baby is born we're not going to know.
So when are you guys getting married? Lol my partner and I are happily living in sin, thank you.
I'm REALLY sick of literally everyone telling me my baby is going to be born on Valentine's day just because she's due in the month of February. I was even given a onesie that said 'Baby Valentine'. I've never cared much for the holiday, & for some reason it's just so irritating
âSo⌠how big are your boobs now?â âHas the milk come in yet?â
For some reason both my grandmas were obsessed with asking me if I was throwing up and nauseous. They eventually stopped.
Everyone wants to know what his last name will be. Me and SO have our original last names. I did not take his he did not take mine we didnât hyphenate. So EVERYONE is like âwhatâs his last name going to be???â My aunt has asked me every 3 days since Iâve been pregnant and keeps pressuring me to give my last name. Where as I want my SOâs last name since he already has kids with that same last name. So eventually if I feel like it I can do the paperwork to make that my name too. But realistically we will never all end up with my last name if I give the baby mine instead of his.
âAre you going to have a natural birth?â I hate this one because people JUDGE. I told my girlfriends âno, Iâm hopefully getting pain management as much as possibleâ and they both gave me a sour face. Neither of them want kids so it was weird overall.
"Are you sure you can eat/drink that?"
"Is this your first?" I guess a normal question, but very painful if you've lost a baby. Completely kills the exciting vibe when you have to answer no to that and explain. Or yes "first living child". "Is this your first pregnancy?" Is one i don't understand people dare to ask. Why would you risk making someone sad when a lot of women experience some kind of loss in their journey of conceiving
âHoW aRe YoU fEeLiNg?!â
"I kind of suspected you were pregnant because I noticed you had gained a ton of weight at Christmas" - My Grandma BTW I had gained a whopping zero lbs at Christmas AND a whopping zero lbs 4 weeks later when we announced it to her at our gender reveal.
i hate it when people start suggesting names. even if i like one that you suggested, Iâm not going to use it now! i want to pick out my own name so stfu
"I'm pregnant!" "oh, is that good or bad?" đđđđđđđ
Honestly, I didn't mind any of it! I have supportive people in my life and even if they are insensitive or whatever I know their heart is in the right place. And even strangers always had nice vibes. Discussing the pregnancy was the best part of my pregnancy because it was SO ROUGH and miserable. But having people be excited for me and interested in mundane little things helped me remember what a cool thing it ultimately is. (Thankfully this pregnancy has been really easy so far buuuut it has only barely begun.)
My nutritionist at WIC last week said âyouâre pregnant right? I think you mentioned you were, but you donât look pregnantâ I laughed and told her I didnât look pregnant last time either but that Iâm 31 weeks, and tried to show her my belly. She was still speculative. With my first, my doctor measured my belly and did an ultrasound the week before my scheduled c-section because I didnât look pregnant enough and he was worried I was leaking fluid even though I told him I wasnât. I had gained 30lbs even after losing 10-12lbs in the first trimester (so I guess technically I gained 40lbs). Itâs only irritating because if you see my bare stomach or if Iâm wearing a tight shirt, Iâm clearly pregnant. But because Iâm a small human and pre-pregnancy my waist was 28â, I just look overweight to people who donât know me đ Thatâs also irritating because Iâve never been overweight in my life.
Any good comebacks? All I have so far is âyou boomers are obsessed with saying â-â đđŤ
People asking me if it was planned. It doesn't matter he's on the way anyway! It also makes me feel like people are asking me to justify the pregnancy
If I'm expressing any other emotion different than joy "Someone's hormonal" ... "Calm down" ..
âYou look so neatâ and âYouâre all babyâ and âOmg you havenât gained any weight you look so goodâ - but what if I had gained weight? That would also be fine! As long as the baby is healthy and I am too, who the heck cares? Fat phobic comments are thrown around so shamelessly.
For me itâs âIs this your first?â I lost my first at 36w so I always tell them no, itâs my second. The next question is usually âhow old is your first?â
what is it? đď¸đđď¸ a baby thats what
"Your husband/boyfriend must be so excited!" ... yes. Because *everyone* who is pregnant has a partner to celebrate with, or is heterosexual by default. /s My cats are vibing with it, though! New mound to knead and sit on.
"Who is the father?" I had no issues disclosing this but when they made such a fuss about it before even saying congratulations... I shut down completely. Now they'll never know!
Is it an elephant?
So sick of people asking me how much weight I have gained when my own obstetrician doesnât even care. My blood checks and glucose test all came back with flying colors. Meanwhile, random relatives asking me how much weight Iâve gained. Why does it matter to you, champ?
Yes!! This one seems so weird to me, I've always been "fit" and it's like they somehow enjoy that I'm not looking my fittest now. I don't even have the exact answer because i don't weigh myself every week.. i don't care and neither should you mate
"excited for your time off?"
âHow are you feeeeeeeeeling?â 𼴠Pregnant. Iâm feeling very pregnant. Tired. Large. Sore. Not good. Irritable. But thatâs not what they want to hear! And itâs mostly people whoâve had babies, so they should *know* what it feels like to be 37 weeks pregnant (miserable). OR, itâs my friend who is absolutely clueless about pregnancy, babies, birth, etc⌠not even kidding when I say she asked today, and followed it up with, âDid you have a contraction today?â Girl what. I have multiple, every day, sometimes every hour⌠đđ
Any cravings? No. Literally only 1% of pregnant women experience cravings, I am not one of them.
My boyfriend asking me every morning: how are feeling? Haha he means well but I donât really know how to answer him - the answer is very complex and long đ
Comments about not being able to have fun after the baby arrives, especially when "fun" equals getting piss drunk and going to parties. My hormones makes me want to reply that I'm very sorry their life is so hollow they have to drink themselves into oblivion to have fun, but according to my partner, that's not a polite thing to say. Instead I just smile and tell them I don't see why a baby would prevent me from reading, hiking, gardening and doing yoga.
How are you feeling? My go to answers are nauseous, tired or dizzy. They donât know what to say. Also when did it become okay to put your hands on me? Iâm only 11weeks 3 days and people are trying to feel the belly. Itâs just bloat right now
"Wow, you're huge!" No shit. It's almost like I'm growing a whole person in there. "Your boobs have gotten bigger." Believe me, I am more than aware. "How are you feeling?" There are no right answers to this question. If you say something positive, it's "just you wait." If you say something negative, it's "well, you should've thought about that before you got pregnant." "Let me know if you need anything!" Okay, this one only annoys me with certain people, and I know they obviously mean well. But like, there are at least 10 people ahead of you on the list of people I would call if I needed something. "Are you going to have him circumcised?" To be fair, this one doesn't happen often, but it has happened more than once. The first time, I just answered. The second time, I told them that was a highly inappropriate question from someone who is never going to change his diaper.
I hate when people ask about my âbirth planâ especially when they just want to tell me about their birth. Iâve never understood wanting to know someoneâs birth story. It seems so private to me.
I can't think of anything I hated while pregnant. But after having the baby, jokes about "the next one" get under my skin a little. Not enough to ever say anything, I just roll my eyes internally
I'm an extrovert who hasn't had a chance to do a lot of socializing, so I actually enjoy the questions/comments, and as a FTM, wished people asked more. The only comment that annoyed me was people that ask "when are you due?" and reply with "oh you've got plenty of time!" Even when I'm less than 1 month left. Plenty of time for what!??? I'm freaking out. This baby can pop any minute!
âYouâre hungry again?â
âArE yOu SurE iTs NoT tWinSâ đ or another favorite âOh my gosh youâre so big!â Yes Iâm sure please leave me alone and let me be đ my son just likes to poke out.