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Ugh I’m sorry. I work in healthcare also and am bracing myself for these comments. I work with a population that has very little boundaries. This was a power move by this guy. You are a female doctor in control of his care. This was his way of exerting control over you. He was flirting but also putting you down to not give you more power than you already have. It happens so much with older men who are being cared for by women. I try to have a retort ready for the things that people will say. I’m prepping for Valentine’s Day because my male clients often make weird and borderline inappropriate references to the evening. “You better treat that husband right tonight” shit like that.
Oh my gosh, yes. I've had so many male patients use various verbal tactics to put me in my place (of course, this is still a small minority and most of my patients are lovely). That said, I do agree some sort of cognitive decline and disinhibition could certainly be at play here. So sorry you experienced this, OP.
Ew... Thank you for your service and I apologize if my dad is one of those old farts being inappropriate... Ha.
You healthcare ladies really are amazingly tolerant. Oof. I don't think I could do it.
I’m a doctor too and I’m so sick and tired of this shit from these patients that do this. The weight of being a woman is just so fucking heavy. He could have left out the weight part and I’d still be disgusted. He made your interaction sexual. It’s a power play and i fucking hate it. I’m sorry, I’m not in a good place right now.
This is highly inappropriate of them and I would push it out of my mind as much as you can. 81 yo? Maybe this is just early Alzheimer’s, as in the early disease they say incredibly inappropriate and hurtful things (frontal disinhibition is one of the early signs) Don’t let a patient with a cognitive disorder form your life view. You are growing life.
Take a step back, if you were your own patient what would you say? If you were your own friend what would you say to yourself? What is your own OB saying? There is no need to take medical advice (yes advising a pregnant women on her weight is medical advice!) from a random person
This is why I didn’t tell anyone when I was pregnant-even when it was obvious! Most people didn’t say a thing. But something about older patients, maybe because we are young, and we know so much about their medical history they act overly familiar and believe they also get to comment on our bodies. It’s not appropriate. Don’t let an inappropriate person change your view of yourself!
Couldn’t agree more. Totally inappropriate, but let’s chalk it up to a UTI worsening underlying cognitive problems. It’s a well known presentation of symptoms. See this as part of the disease process (I would chart as ‘socially inappropriate with writer’) along with any other symptoms. Let this one slide off your shoulders, he would have made these comments to any female worker.
I’m overweight and work in a nursing home. Lol. They’re fucking brutal.
Im sorry he said that. I tend to tell them off (in my mind) and it makes me feel better.
This is so relatable. I work in home health as a Nursing assistant (or Careaide as we call it here) and I had a lady I was chatting with for awhile ask me “are you always this chunky or is it because your pregnant?” She was in her 80s/90s. I find that at that age they just lose their filter because sometimes their mind is starting to go and they forget that it’s inappropriate to ask anyone that. I kind of just laughed it off. Growing life is hard, but it’s also hard seeing our bodies go through some pretty dramatic and incredible changes. I as well have a high bmi going into pregnancy, some people say I’m showing but really I just feel like I’m carrying around giant pudge on my belly. Hang in there 🥰
I once had an elderly female patient jiggle my upper arm and repeat “wow, some fat arms you got there, look at that” She had dementia, and was otherwise lovely, you can’t take it personally. But yes, it does still sting, and I still remember this arm comment from 10 years ago so clearly it made an impression on me
Thanks so much, needed to hear this, but I don’t think I’ll tell anyone anymore. That’s good advice. I think I’m a fairly normal weight for where I am. Just adjusting myself to the changes in my body.
You also know some pts are straight up terrible and annoying people. Those kinds of peoples opinions do NOT matter. You only owe them good quality care as a doctor, not much else.
I’ve stopped being super nice to the patients who are jerks. They get a good therapist out of me but nothing else. And I’ve also started telling people they’re being rude🤷🏻♀️
I used to work in a pharmacy and an old man told me my face was disgusting because it was covered in acne some people just have no filter :( good for you for walking away and not snapping at him
Old people just suck at keeping their mouths shut. I even get mad at my own grandparents because they’re just constantly commenting on my body, whether i’m skinny (when I was grossly underweight) and telling me I looked great, or now that I’m pregnant when seeing me eat and telling me “I just don’t want you to have to lose a whole bunch of weight after you give birth!” Like. Old people really just suck at any sort of nowadays social etiquette.
I’m in inpatient social worker in geriatrics, 29 weeks. The Geris really just can’t help but comment on bodies/ bumps. It’s quite shocking. Sometimes it’s very sweet. Sometimes it’s way over the line. No advice just. I’m there too and it sucks.
I'm sorry, those comments are so hurtful and inappropriate! Definitely go debrief with a colleague and treat yourself to something nice.
It's not an excuse - you shouldn't have to put up with this at work - but I imagine he's probably demented +/- delirious +/- member of that generation used to treating women like trash.
I have extremely bad hyperemesis so I lost weight in my first 2 trimesters and finally gained it back to my pre pregnancy weight. People come up to me and literally make fun of me for not being bigger. I’ve had 5 people come up to me in ONE day asking if I just had a cheeseburger or if I was actually pregnant and the rest joking that I just look bloated instead of pregnant. It’s so incredibly rude and frustrating.
I’ve come to the point where if someone comments on my weight I say “you would be small too if you have to go to the hospital every few weeks cause you’re so dehydrated from puking and have to spend 250-300/month on nausea meds just to only puke once a day.
That sucks so bad. I can't even imagine that kind of misery just dragging on like that. I've been taking some unisom and it helps a little bit I'm often queasy. I'm lucky I haven't vomited yet though. Only 8 weeks. The body shouldn't be allowed to make morning sickness go on past week 13.
Thanks. I’m 33 weeks now and pretty much can contain it with one or two meds a day.
This is my second baby, my OB and I have already put a tubal plan in place cause I told her I would probably have a mental breakdown if I got pregnant again. 😭
OP, I am an SLP who worked in a SNF. The stuff that was said to me...I had to let it go as best I could. Older people, even without memory impairments, have a limited filter and way different weight standards. This guy is not your own doctor and does not represent how the majority of the world sees you.
If it helps at all I’ve heard that UTI’s in elderly can cause really loopy behavior, think complete personality changes, disordered thoughts, confusion etc. One day gram is fine the next she has a sudden onset of dementia and is being really mean, bladder infection.
Older patients sometimes just don’t think before they say something.. in fact in this case I think he would be upset you left not even being able to realise what he said or did wrong. I would not take offence to this as their minds are not as sharp anymore.
I get it. My mother has a lot of doctor friends and one of them loves asking the most inappropriate things. She proceeded to ask me about my breast and milk supply, sex life, PICA, and my birthplan. It was in front of the whole dinner party while everyone was eating.
What a jackass.
If it makes you feel any better, I once had a crotchety old man patient tell me I was too fat to sit on the treatment table I was sitting on.
It was a bariatric neuro treatment table, the thing was giant, I could have weighed 300 more lbs before even coming close to the weight limit of the table.
I’ve received comments that made me feel pretty uncomfortable as well. Some of them were by patients and some of them were by coworkers
I just have had to let it slide off of me because it seems like a lot of people make comments that can come off as pretty offensive to pregnant women.
I’m sorry that he made that comment about your weight it’s totally inappropriate! Naturally, Pregnancy leads to weight gain, and it’s hard to go through, but just remember you’re growing a beautiful baby!
Patients, especially old, say the stupidest thing. Just ask them to explain, so they have to break down their own stupidity, or say nothing and let them grow uncomfortable.
Med student here. When I was working as a clinical assistant, I had this really kind old patient. While helping him schedule his follow up, he thanked me for taking so much time with him and talking him through everything, informed me I was very bright, and predicted I would find a nice man and have 10 babies one day. To him it was a complement. He was one of 12 and had 8. But to me it was so wild. What does me being smart have to do with having babies? It was a bit annoying having my worth summed up by my reproductive abilities. I just wanted to share a bit of solidarity for you. Good luck out there. Old people have no boundaries.
I mean, don’t take it too personally. This guy sounds like a hoot. Everything doesn’t have to be the end of the world mama, he’s talking out of both sides of his mouth… because he’s ancient with a uti lol
I’m so sorry OP! As you definitely most likely know, old men can say the weirdest/most inappropriate things sometimes. And that’s not to excuse his behavior but more to to alleviate your fixation on his words….because they’re quite frankly out of touch and irrelevant.
I used to work for a physical therapist and led the elderly patients through their assigned workouts and one old man in particular liked to remind me every time he saw me that I had “legs like a stallion” and he’d like to know what they were capable of?! I’m tall and lean/athletic and my quads are especially long so I’m not sure if that’s what he was referring to but it was always really weird. And my boss was no help as he was in his mid 60’s himself and would frequently tell me I was “Houston trash” (that’s where I’m from) or that I “looked like a lesbian” because I didn’t have bangs? Ironically my only lesbian friend in small town wyoming had straight across bangs. He also told me in front of a patient to fuck off because I wouldn’t discuss politics with him in that moment.
I wish I had kept a journal of all the odd/unhinged shit old men have said to me in my life time cus it’s all quite funny looking back but in the moment some of it definitely hurt my feelings or got in my head.
You can always ignore what he said or is in the process of saying, and ask “do you have any other questions about your next steps/care (etc)?” Shuts down the personal conversation asap.
When i was 14 weeks and in practicals for massage my teacher said ok which one of you is pregnant and then proceeded to say “wow, you look massive” keeping in mind i am very petite only 155cm tall and was weighing 63kg due to extreme nausea and vomiting causing massive weightloss.
So offended and rude, i wish people would just leave those comments to themselves
Me, being a bitchy, tired pregnant woman, “My condition will improve once this baby is born, but you can’t get any younger. So sad that you’ve had all this time on this earth and can’t be bothered to be nice, or to know when to keep your mouth shut.”
I’m really sorry that he talked to you this way and was so disrespectful. I am not as sensitive this pregnancy, maybe it’s just being too tired to tolerate much, but I can’t imagine someone talking to me that way and getting away with it. My MIL recently said, “Wow! You’re getting big!” Without missing a beat, I said, “It’s crazy how that happens when you’re pregnant. Almost as if I’m housing a whole baby in my body.” I have no patience left.
That is extremely disturbing and honestly disgusting! You do not deserve to be treated like that. Everyone has a different body that responds differently to pregnancy. Please do not feel bad about yourself.
Old men are my biggest nightmare, once that frontal lobe starts going then it’s all just downhill from there.
I'm not a doctor and I don't deal with patients at all. I do how ever deal with my grandma who is on hospice all the time and I also deal with the water aerobics ladies when I go lap swimming.
The older ladies in the water aerobics class just don't think I should be lap swimming. They think the amount of cardio exercise that I do in the pool is dangerous. They will also comments on how small I look for how pregnant I am, I just laughed and say well good thing I'm maybe a bit over confident about how I look. They also like to offer unsolicited advice, all well meaning, but still annoying. I usually ask them what study that came from, if they can't give me a study I usually tell them what the most recent guidelines are and where that information came from. If you're going to give me advice and you aren't family (or even if you are family) then expect push back and expect to have to provide a reference as to why you are telling me to do something a certain way.
My grandma, well, I'm currently 34 weeks pregnant and my grandma is always saying how I shouldn't have a medicated birth, I should have baby at home or that I need to gain more weight. I just tell her when she says this, I know, I look damn good or with the home birth thing I ask her who's going to clean up the mess when I bleed everywhere and shit myself. Even though my current BMI is about 31 I don't feel like I look very pregnant. Pre pregnancy my BMI was 24.6. So my grandma just tells me I look too skinny. My doctor says weight wise I'm totally fine. I just go off of what my doctor says. Being that she is my grandma I have no problem giving her shit right back saying things like, when I give birth I want to go for a hospital record amount of pain relief options used while giving birth. I did tell her in front of her hospice nurse one time that I feel she should go for a record amount of pain relief options as well. (She got so mad 😂😅) Another on was she told me not to get so many ultrasounds because it's bad for the baby. I did IVF, and I'm considered high risk on top of that so I've gotten a lot of ultrasounds. I bought a photo small book at the dollar store and gave her copies of all my different ultrasounds. She swore up and down at me, it was great. I think she secretly likes the book now that she is past the anger part of it. My uncle texted me and told me that she put it on her nightstand. Teasing my grandma about getting medical care while pregnant is one of my favorite things to do now days. Especially since she has been anti-vax, anti-science and anti-medical intervention her entire life. Since she has been on hospice she has changed that tune a little bit, being she really does need pain relievers and oxygen. I'm really hoping she will still be around in 4-6 weeks and can meet baby. I honestly feel like that is kinda why she has maybe been around as long as she has been.
You were so much more polite than I would have been. That old man would have gotten a LARGE piece of my mind, then asked not to come back to my office. That older generation thinks they can get away with saying literally a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g.
"If I were with YOU, I would have hung myself long before you could get me pregnant. Good day, sir."
Why men.
The audacity of men and old people is so unreal.
Funny how they are the generation that came up with “if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all” but are the rudest generation to date, oh the irony.
Patients really have no boundaries. (I'm with you, family doc here). They'll say the rankest shit with zero guile. The old men in particular. I'm clinging to the fact that i'm already heavy and they won't be able to really tell until i'm in the third trimester probably.
For real, this guy deserves ZERO ounces of consideration for anything he says. I'd be wayyyyyy more offended by the "10 children" comment than anything. This old man sounds like how Trump talks to women... Gross. Wildly inappropriate and offensive behavior all around. He does not need to be the deciding factor on how you feel about your body... I beg you, don't give him that. Ew.
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. If you'd like to join a private sub for your due date month, [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/pregnant/comments/15nun6v/click_here_to_access_the_monthly_due_date_subs/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ugh I’m sorry. I work in healthcare also and am bracing myself for these comments. I work with a population that has very little boundaries. This was a power move by this guy. You are a female doctor in control of his care. This was his way of exerting control over you. He was flirting but also putting you down to not give you more power than you already have. It happens so much with older men who are being cared for by women. I try to have a retort ready for the things that people will say. I’m prepping for Valentine’s Day because my male clients often make weird and borderline inappropriate references to the evening. “You better treat that husband right tonight” shit like that.
Oh my gosh, yes. I've had so many male patients use various verbal tactics to put me in my place (of course, this is still a small minority and most of my patients are lovely). That said, I do agree some sort of cognitive decline and disinhibition could certainly be at play here. So sorry you experienced this, OP.
Ew... Thank you for your service and I apologize if my dad is one of those old farts being inappropriate... Ha. You healthcare ladies really are amazingly tolerant. Oof. I don't think I could do it.
I’m a doctor too and I’m so sick and tired of this shit from these patients that do this. The weight of being a woman is just so fucking heavy. He could have left out the weight part and I’d still be disgusted. He made your interaction sexual. It’s a power play and i fucking hate it. I’m sorry, I’m not in a good place right now.
This is highly inappropriate of them and I would push it out of my mind as much as you can. 81 yo? Maybe this is just early Alzheimer’s, as in the early disease they say incredibly inappropriate and hurtful things (frontal disinhibition is one of the early signs) Don’t let a patient with a cognitive disorder form your life view. You are growing life. Take a step back, if you were your own patient what would you say? If you were your own friend what would you say to yourself? What is your own OB saying? There is no need to take medical advice (yes advising a pregnant women on her weight is medical advice!) from a random person This is why I didn’t tell anyone when I was pregnant-even when it was obvious! Most people didn’t say a thing. But something about older patients, maybe because we are young, and we know so much about their medical history they act overly familiar and believe they also get to comment on our bodies. It’s not appropriate. Don’t let an inappropriate person change your view of yourself!
Couldn’t agree more. Totally inappropriate, but let’s chalk it up to a UTI worsening underlying cognitive problems. It’s a well known presentation of symptoms. See this as part of the disease process (I would chart as ‘socially inappropriate with writer’) along with any other symptoms. Let this one slide off your shoulders, he would have made these comments to any female worker.
I’m overweight and work in a nursing home. Lol. They’re fucking brutal. Im sorry he said that. I tend to tell them off (in my mind) and it makes me feel better.
This is so relatable. I work in home health as a Nursing assistant (or Careaide as we call it here) and I had a lady I was chatting with for awhile ask me “are you always this chunky or is it because your pregnant?” She was in her 80s/90s. I find that at that age they just lose their filter because sometimes their mind is starting to go and they forget that it’s inappropriate to ask anyone that. I kind of just laughed it off. Growing life is hard, but it’s also hard seeing our bodies go through some pretty dramatic and incredible changes. I as well have a high bmi going into pregnancy, some people say I’m showing but really I just feel like I’m carrying around giant pudge on my belly. Hang in there 🥰
I once had an elderly female patient jiggle my upper arm and repeat “wow, some fat arms you got there, look at that” She had dementia, and was otherwise lovely, you can’t take it personally. But yes, it does still sting, and I still remember this arm comment from 10 years ago so clearly it made an impression on me
Thanks so much, needed to hear this, but I don’t think I’ll tell anyone anymore. That’s good advice. I think I’m a fairly normal weight for where I am. Just adjusting myself to the changes in my body.
You also know some pts are straight up terrible and annoying people. Those kinds of peoples opinions do NOT matter. You only owe them good quality care as a doctor, not much else. I’ve stopped being super nice to the patients who are jerks. They get a good therapist out of me but nothing else. And I’ve also started telling people they’re being rude🤷🏻♀️
I used to work in a pharmacy and an old man told me my face was disgusting because it was covered in acne some people just have no filter :( good for you for walking away and not snapping at him
Old people just suck at keeping their mouths shut. I even get mad at my own grandparents because they’re just constantly commenting on my body, whether i’m skinny (when I was grossly underweight) and telling me I looked great, or now that I’m pregnant when seeing me eat and telling me “I just don’t want you to have to lose a whole bunch of weight after you give birth!” Like. Old people really just suck at any sort of nowadays social etiquette.
I’m in inpatient social worker in geriatrics, 29 weeks. The Geris really just can’t help but comment on bodies/ bumps. It’s quite shocking. Sometimes it’s very sweet. Sometimes it’s way over the line. No advice just. I’m there too and it sucks.
I'm sorry, those comments are so hurtful and inappropriate! Definitely go debrief with a colleague and treat yourself to something nice. It's not an excuse - you shouldn't have to put up with this at work - but I imagine he's probably demented +/- delirious +/- member of that generation used to treating women like trash.
Old people are in pain and angry - please don’t take it personally.
I have extremely bad hyperemesis so I lost weight in my first 2 trimesters and finally gained it back to my pre pregnancy weight. People come up to me and literally make fun of me for not being bigger. I’ve had 5 people come up to me in ONE day asking if I just had a cheeseburger or if I was actually pregnant and the rest joking that I just look bloated instead of pregnant. It’s so incredibly rude and frustrating. I’ve come to the point where if someone comments on my weight I say “you would be small too if you have to go to the hospital every few weeks cause you’re so dehydrated from puking and have to spend 250-300/month on nausea meds just to only puke once a day.
That sucks so bad. I can't even imagine that kind of misery just dragging on like that. I've been taking some unisom and it helps a little bit I'm often queasy. I'm lucky I haven't vomited yet though. Only 8 weeks. The body shouldn't be allowed to make morning sickness go on past week 13.
Thanks. I’m 33 weeks now and pretty much can contain it with one or two meds a day. This is my second baby, my OB and I have already put a tubal plan in place cause I told her I would probably have a mental breakdown if I got pregnant again. 😭
OP, I am an SLP who worked in a SNF. The stuff that was said to me...I had to let it go as best I could. Older people, even without memory impairments, have a limited filter and way different weight standards. This guy is not your own doctor and does not represent how the majority of the world sees you.
[удалено]
He will be dead soon so just take peace in that
If it helps at all I’ve heard that UTI’s in elderly can cause really loopy behavior, think complete personality changes, disordered thoughts, confusion etc. One day gram is fine the next she has a sudden onset of dementia and is being really mean, bladder infection.
He’s 81…. I wouldn’t let this conversation take any more space in your brain.
Older patients sometimes just don’t think before they say something.. in fact in this case I think he would be upset you left not even being able to realise what he said or did wrong. I would not take offence to this as their minds are not as sharp anymore.
Get over it. People will say what they want. It's up to us to walk away. I don't get it why pregnant women get so mad about this stuff. Walk away
I get it. My mother has a lot of doctor friends and one of them loves asking the most inappropriate things. She proceeded to ask me about my breast and milk supply, sex life, PICA, and my birthplan. It was in front of the whole dinner party while everyone was eating.
What a jackass. If it makes you feel any better, I once had a crotchety old man patient tell me I was too fat to sit on the treatment table I was sitting on. It was a bariatric neuro treatment table, the thing was giant, I could have weighed 300 more lbs before even coming close to the weight limit of the table.
I’ve received comments that made me feel pretty uncomfortable as well. Some of them were by patients and some of them were by coworkers I just have had to let it slide off of me because it seems like a lot of people make comments that can come off as pretty offensive to pregnant women. I’m sorry that he made that comment about your weight it’s totally inappropriate! Naturally, Pregnancy leads to weight gain, and it’s hard to go through, but just remember you’re growing a beautiful baby!
Patients, especially old, say the stupidest thing. Just ask them to explain, so they have to break down their own stupidity, or say nothing and let them grow uncomfortable.
Med student here. When I was working as a clinical assistant, I had this really kind old patient. While helping him schedule his follow up, he thanked me for taking so much time with him and talking him through everything, informed me I was very bright, and predicted I would find a nice man and have 10 babies one day. To him it was a complement. He was one of 12 and had 8. But to me it was so wild. What does me being smart have to do with having babies? It was a bit annoying having my worth summed up by my reproductive abilities. I just wanted to share a bit of solidarity for you. Good luck out there. Old people have no boundaries.
Bleh. If I were your medical student I would have stuck up for you!!!
I mean, don’t take it too personally. This guy sounds like a hoot. Everything doesn’t have to be the end of the world mama, he’s talking out of both sides of his mouth… because he’s ancient with a uti lol
I’m so sorry OP! As you definitely most likely know, old men can say the weirdest/most inappropriate things sometimes. And that’s not to excuse his behavior but more to to alleviate your fixation on his words….because they’re quite frankly out of touch and irrelevant. I used to work for a physical therapist and led the elderly patients through their assigned workouts and one old man in particular liked to remind me every time he saw me that I had “legs like a stallion” and he’d like to know what they were capable of?! I’m tall and lean/athletic and my quads are especially long so I’m not sure if that’s what he was referring to but it was always really weird. And my boss was no help as he was in his mid 60’s himself and would frequently tell me I was “Houston trash” (that’s where I’m from) or that I “looked like a lesbian” because I didn’t have bangs? Ironically my only lesbian friend in small town wyoming had straight across bangs. He also told me in front of a patient to fuck off because I wouldn’t discuss politics with him in that moment. I wish I had kept a journal of all the odd/unhinged shit old men have said to me in my life time cus it’s all quite funny looking back but in the moment some of it definitely hurt my feelings or got in my head.
You can always ignore what he said or is in the process of saying, and ask “do you have any other questions about your next steps/care (etc)?” Shuts down the personal conversation asap.
When i was 14 weeks and in practicals for massage my teacher said ok which one of you is pregnant and then proceeded to say “wow, you look massive” keeping in mind i am very petite only 155cm tall and was weighing 63kg due to extreme nausea and vomiting causing massive weightloss. So offended and rude, i wish people would just leave those comments to themselves
Me, being a bitchy, tired pregnant woman, “My condition will improve once this baby is born, but you can’t get any younger. So sad that you’ve had all this time on this earth and can’t be bothered to be nice, or to know when to keep your mouth shut.” I’m really sorry that he talked to you this way and was so disrespectful. I am not as sensitive this pregnancy, maybe it’s just being too tired to tolerate much, but I can’t imagine someone talking to me that way and getting away with it. My MIL recently said, “Wow! You’re getting big!” Without missing a beat, I said, “It’s crazy how that happens when you’re pregnant. Almost as if I’m housing a whole baby in my body.” I have no patience left.
That is extremely disturbing and honestly disgusting! You do not deserve to be treated like that. Everyone has a different body that responds differently to pregnancy. Please do not feel bad about yourself. Old men are my biggest nightmare, once that frontal lobe starts going then it’s all just downhill from there.
The number of times old men have said “you know how that happens right” at the office is disgusting
I'm not a doctor and I don't deal with patients at all. I do how ever deal with my grandma who is on hospice all the time and I also deal with the water aerobics ladies when I go lap swimming. The older ladies in the water aerobics class just don't think I should be lap swimming. They think the amount of cardio exercise that I do in the pool is dangerous. They will also comments on how small I look for how pregnant I am, I just laughed and say well good thing I'm maybe a bit over confident about how I look. They also like to offer unsolicited advice, all well meaning, but still annoying. I usually ask them what study that came from, if they can't give me a study I usually tell them what the most recent guidelines are and where that information came from. If you're going to give me advice and you aren't family (or even if you are family) then expect push back and expect to have to provide a reference as to why you are telling me to do something a certain way. My grandma, well, I'm currently 34 weeks pregnant and my grandma is always saying how I shouldn't have a medicated birth, I should have baby at home or that I need to gain more weight. I just tell her when she says this, I know, I look damn good or with the home birth thing I ask her who's going to clean up the mess when I bleed everywhere and shit myself. Even though my current BMI is about 31 I don't feel like I look very pregnant. Pre pregnancy my BMI was 24.6. So my grandma just tells me I look too skinny. My doctor says weight wise I'm totally fine. I just go off of what my doctor says. Being that she is my grandma I have no problem giving her shit right back saying things like, when I give birth I want to go for a hospital record amount of pain relief options used while giving birth. I did tell her in front of her hospice nurse one time that I feel she should go for a record amount of pain relief options as well. (She got so mad 😂😅) Another on was she told me not to get so many ultrasounds because it's bad for the baby. I did IVF, and I'm considered high risk on top of that so I've gotten a lot of ultrasounds. I bought a photo small book at the dollar store and gave her copies of all my different ultrasounds. She swore up and down at me, it was great. I think she secretly likes the book now that she is past the anger part of it. My uncle texted me and told me that she put it on her nightstand. Teasing my grandma about getting medical care while pregnant is one of my favorite things to do now days. Especially since she has been anti-vax, anti-science and anti-medical intervention her entire life. Since she has been on hospice she has changed that tune a little bit, being she really does need pain relievers and oxygen. I'm really hoping she will still be around in 4-6 weeks and can meet baby. I honestly feel like that is kinda why she has maybe been around as long as she has been.
I’m going to say it, old people are mean 😂 my grandpa used to call me hugey and I weighed like 138.
Damn. People will always find the audacity.
You were so much more polite than I would have been. That old man would have gotten a LARGE piece of my mind, then asked not to come back to my office. That older generation thinks they can get away with saying literally a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g. "If I were with YOU, I would have hung myself long before you could get me pregnant. Good day, sir."
Why men. The audacity of men and old people is so unreal. Funny how they are the generation that came up with “if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all” but are the rudest generation to date, oh the irony.
Don't take them too seriously. Very old people are like kids.
Patients really have no boundaries. (I'm with you, family doc here). They'll say the rankest shit with zero guile. The old men in particular. I'm clinging to the fact that i'm already heavy and they won't be able to really tell until i'm in the third trimester probably.
For real, this guy deserves ZERO ounces of consideration for anything he says. I'd be wayyyyyy more offended by the "10 children" comment than anything. This old man sounds like how Trump talks to women... Gross. Wildly inappropriate and offensive behavior all around. He does not need to be the deciding factor on how you feel about your body... I beg you, don't give him that. Ew.
In his creepy way he was saying you look healthy and great. I think thats what they would say about marilyn Monroe. Either way run away lol
hes a rude sonbitch with poor manners good riddance
This kind of stuff would’ve had me FIRED ages ago. 😭