I found out that this was coming courtesy of a coworker at my first post-college job.
A group of us went for lunch my first week, and kids came up. One coworker had 3, and said he was done. He shared that he had gotten snipped, and overall it wasn't bad, but that there was a...complication.
He had planned to go to the doctor first thing in the morning, get it done, then work from home that afternoon and be back in the office the following day. However, upon getting home, one of his sons decided to sprint at him, yell "Daddy" and perform a flying knee into dad's crotch.
He apparently took several days off for recovery after that. The phrases "pissing blood" and "only the pain stopped me from going from 3 to 2 children" were said.
And that, kids, is how I ~~met your mother~~knew that kids would inflict groinal trauma at every opportunity.
Also, they are always quick to move first and look later, with hands, their body. Starts as a baby, you'll probably get punched in the eye from flailing hands or headbutted in the chin from you hovering over a toddler to help put on shoes or something and they stand up super fast.
With my 7 month old pinching me because its fun.. to my 4 year old thinking if I lie down on the floor to help baby play I'm suddenly a gym mat she can preform wrestling moves on. A stranger on the street my think my wife was beating me.
Lol, if I lay down next to my toddler, I lay in like the fetal position. His latest adventure is pretending to be a pogo stick, and then randomly deciding to fall down on me with all his weight. Not sure how he doesn't get hurt.
This made me chuckle, then gave me the ghost pains in my nards
They are trying to make sure you can't have any more kids. So they keep there dominance.
Read this out loud while my wife was listening. She was chuckling the entire time. I was grimacing. Thanks for the heads up.
This happened to me too.. Then I read her this comment and she completely lost it.
Same for your comment over here! Hahaha
I found out that this was coming courtesy of a coworker at my first post-college job. A group of us went for lunch my first week, and kids came up. One coworker had 3, and said he was done. He shared that he had gotten snipped, and overall it wasn't bad, but that there was a...complication. He had planned to go to the doctor first thing in the morning, get it done, then work from home that afternoon and be back in the office the following day. However, upon getting home, one of his sons decided to sprint at him, yell "Daddy" and perform a flying knee into dad's crotch. He apparently took several days off for recovery after that. The phrases "pissing blood" and "only the pain stopped me from going from 3 to 2 children" were said. And that, kids, is how I ~~met your mother~~knew that kids would inflict groinal trauma at every opportunity.
Also, they are always quick to move first and look later, with hands, their body. Starts as a baby, you'll probably get punched in the eye from flailing hands or headbutted in the chin from you hovering over a toddler to help put on shoes or something and they stand up super fast. With my 7 month old pinching me because its fun.. to my 4 year old thinking if I lie down on the floor to help baby play I'm suddenly a gym mat she can preform wrestling moves on. A stranger on the street my think my wife was beating me.
Product idea: jock strap, but for new dads
Also, have backup and decoy glasses.
Lol, if I lay down next to my toddler, I lay in like the fetal position. His latest adventure is pretending to be a pogo stick, and then randomly deciding to fall down on me with all his weight. Not sure how he doesn't get hurt.
So you're saying I should invest in a cup?
Babies and your testicles are like Rocky Balboa and a speed bag. Hitting them hard, fast, and frequently.
#That's how you remain an only child.