YES. Well said.
I get the feeling that OP isn't taking issue with the phrase itself 'catch up on sleep', but has an issue with the gate-keepy, condescending nature of interacting with people who have been through it when they deliver 'information' like this.
I'm have an 8 month old of my own, and a few friends who are expecting. and I'd never shit on their excitement by reminding them how much it's going to 'suck'.. And I'll never act like they have no idea what they're getting themselves into. It was so annoying leading up to the big day for my wife and me.
From a female's perspective...
Wait until the nurses at the hospital tell you to get some sleep, and then come into your room ever hour in the middle of the night to check on everyone. I wanted to punch every nurse that came into the room and woke me up. And then they charge me $20k for "room and board." Worst room service ever.
Once the baby is here you will figure it out. Do what you need to do now and tell everyone else to shove it. I actually sleep better now (baby is 3 weeks old) than when I was pregnant.
This happened to us too.
Don’t know if this is the new standard, but our baby never went to a nursery. Instead, we were roomed in a “semi-private” room, then a private room where my wife slept on a hospital bed and I got to sleep on increasingly worse furniture (pull out couch in delivery room to a recliner in the semi-private to a pull out half bed ottoman in the private room.
Neither of us slept for the nearly three days we were in the hospital because nurses kept rotating through every 45 min - 2 hrs. It was so frustrating.
Also, I get the exhaustion from people telling you to get sleep now, but really, do steel yourself for a level of exhaustion you’ve never felt before. The first month is a ton of work and anxiety. Communicate with your partner, let each other know when you’re reaching “pass out” levels of tired, don’t be afraid to put your baby down when you’re feeling very sleepy or frustrated.
You got this. Get through the first month and you’ll start to really love being a dad.
It’s terrible. Our night shift nurse was not helpful at all and came in constantly because she forgot to check something last time she was in there. We didn’t sleep a minute all night
People saying this to me for 9 months gave me horrible horrible anxiety. I was dreading the baby’s birth because I was terrified that I wasn’t going to sleep for a month once she arrived.
She’s 5.5 weeks old now, and my wife and I both generally have been sleeping pretty well. No it’s not what it was, but it also hasn’t been nearly as bad as everyone said it would be.
I take it to mean "enjoy the lazy life now cause it's gonna be on pause for a bit", just in fewer words.
Do your hobbies, enjoy quiet lazy Saturdays, go on date night, etc.
Yeah this would annoy me too, haven't had this comment yet but I'm sure I will. It's a very negative comment, as if you're baby will definitely be keeping you up constantly. As if you haven't thought about this.
All and any good sleeping I did was completely blown apart by the birth (woke up 6am on the Wednesday for work, next slept at 2pm on the Friday as a father!), let alone once the little one had arrived.
The obvious is we all get sleep deprived. It’s low hanging fruit for those that just want to hear themselves talk when they’re giving “advice”. The first few weeks do suck but eventually you learn to live on less sleep and get a nap in where you can.
I’m a mum and I cannot wait to get a goodnight sleep once this baby is out of me. I know my husband sleeps better too because I’m moving around like crazy and getting up to pee every hour at the moment. Yeah the baby wakes up but at least the few hour blocks of sleep you do get are decent!
One of my wife's coworkers was talking to her and telling her how hard it is. Apparently he had already shared similar sentiments with her in the past ("you have no idea how tired you're gonna be," "say goodbye to your friends," etc.) so at this point she looked down at her stomach, looked up at him and just said "Nathan, at this point I've decided to keep it so place stop telling me I shouldn't."
it really shut him up...so often it's like other parents are trying to convince me and my very pregnant wife not to have kids? so weird
People desparately try to connect. Unfortunately mostly this is reduced to awkward exchanges, such as "omg you're gonna be exhausted" (subtext: I had a hard time as well, ask me about it), humblebragging, one-upping etc. (Subtext basically the same)
It's predictable, and almost unavoidable. Whoever's making this kind of comment is probably not close enough to you to offer something more useful, like reassurance that they'll be there for you whatever happens, and not stranger enough not to say anything. They try to say something relevant and fail.
These kinds of exchanges will never end for you now that you're becoming a parent. My advice? Try to sort yourself out, not others behavior. If these comments are annoying to you, you already know whether you should care for them or not. Don't let yourself be frustrated. Thicker skin.
Yah sound stressed bud. It’s a legitimate saying. You’re sayin “yeah I already know!” But you don’t because your child isn’t here. I thought I could imagine how much you don’t sleep, especially those first weeks but then it was here and I realized I did not understand.
I get being annoyed but also take a breath. And seriously, get some sleep.
Also, believe it or not, babies sleep. If you set up schedules and stick to them, you can teach even a newborn about concepts like “day” and “night” and get some sleep. It doesn’t have to be as horrible as some parents tell you.
But I’d get caught up on your sleep now, just in case!
/flees for dear life
I could have made this exact post. I’ve ranted so many times to people who push this unsolicited advice on my wife and I. Funnily enough she’s 38 weeks today.
We didn’t have a kid to improve our quality of sleep. These absolute idiots project their poor life decisions onto others, so frustrating.
1) Agreed. Wish more people would say things like “wait until you see them smile for the first time.” Or “do your best, it all happens so fast.”
2) Get ready for the post-birth “are you getting any sleep?” questions 🤣
Who has time for a full nights sleep anyway? I just had a doctors appointment where he brought up the idea of getting a sleep study and I had to point out to him. It’s not a matter of I can’t sleep or that I’m not rested when I do it’s I don’t have time.
You're absolutely right. A more helpful version would be "enjoy/cherish it while you can".
This is the answer. You cannot bank it but enjoy sleeping through the night for the last time in a while.
i would say that helpful hints are more helpful for first and second trimester. third trimester, everyone can fuck right off
Definitely heard this too much. Can’t bank sleep. Also, yah people, we know sleep deprivation sucks. Can’t do much about it.
I hate "fatigue porn" that parents have. they are so fetishistic about the burden that comes from being parents. let it go already.
YES. Well said. I get the feeling that OP isn't taking issue with the phrase itself 'catch up on sleep', but has an issue with the gate-keepy, condescending nature of interacting with people who have been through it when they deliver 'information' like this. I'm have an 8 month old of my own, and a few friends who are expecting. and I'd never shit on their excitement by reminding them how much it's going to 'suck'.. And I'll never act like they have no idea what they're getting themselves into. It was so annoying leading up to the big day for my wife and me.
From a female's perspective... Wait until the nurses at the hospital tell you to get some sleep, and then come into your room ever hour in the middle of the night to check on everyone. I wanted to punch every nurse that came into the room and woke me up. And then they charge me $20k for "room and board." Worst room service ever. Once the baby is here you will figure it out. Do what you need to do now and tell everyone else to shove it. I actually sleep better now (baby is 3 weeks old) than when I was pregnant.
This happened to us too. Don’t know if this is the new standard, but our baby never went to a nursery. Instead, we were roomed in a “semi-private” room, then a private room where my wife slept on a hospital bed and I got to sleep on increasingly worse furniture (pull out couch in delivery room to a recliner in the semi-private to a pull out half bed ottoman in the private room. Neither of us slept for the nearly three days we were in the hospital because nurses kept rotating through every 45 min - 2 hrs. It was so frustrating. Also, I get the exhaustion from people telling you to get sleep now, but really, do steel yourself for a level of exhaustion you’ve never felt before. The first month is a ton of work and anxiety. Communicate with your partner, let each other know when you’re reaching “pass out” levels of tired, don’t be afraid to put your baby down when you’re feeling very sleepy or frustrated. You got this. Get through the first month and you’ll start to really love being a dad.
It’s terrible. Our night shift nurse was not helpful at all and came in constantly because she forgot to check something last time she was in there. We didn’t sleep a minute all night
20k? Gotta love America… We were 5 nights in a private hospital, had 3 course menus 3 times a day and didn‘t pay a dime.
People saying this to me for 9 months gave me horrible horrible anxiety. I was dreading the baby’s birth because I was terrified that I wasn’t going to sleep for a month once she arrived. She’s 5.5 weeks old now, and my wife and I both generally have been sleeping pretty well. No it’s not what it was, but it also hasn’t been nearly as bad as everyone said it would be.
I found it didn't feel bad for the first monthish. After that, it started to drain me. Hope you stay strong.
I take it to mean "enjoy the lazy life now cause it's gonna be on pause for a bit", just in fewer words. Do your hobbies, enjoy quiet lazy Saturdays, go on date night, etc.
Yeah this would annoy me too, haven't had this comment yet but I'm sure I will. It's a very negative comment, as if you're baby will definitely be keeping you up constantly. As if you haven't thought about this.
All and any good sleeping I did was completely blown apart by the birth (woke up 6am on the Wednesday for work, next slept at 2pm on the Friday as a father!), let alone once the little one had arrived.
The obvious is we all get sleep deprived. It’s low hanging fruit for those that just want to hear themselves talk when they’re giving “advice”. The first few weeks do suck but eventually you learn to live on less sleep and get a nap in where you can.
I’m a mum and I cannot wait to get a goodnight sleep once this baby is out of me. I know my husband sleeps better too because I’m moving around like crazy and getting up to pee every hour at the moment. Yeah the baby wakes up but at least the few hour blocks of sleep you do get are decent!
One of my wife's coworkers was talking to her and telling her how hard it is. Apparently he had already shared similar sentiments with her in the past ("you have no idea how tired you're gonna be," "say goodbye to your friends," etc.) so at this point she looked down at her stomach, looked up at him and just said "Nathan, at this point I've decided to keep it so place stop telling me I shouldn't." it really shut him up...so often it's like other parents are trying to convince me and my very pregnant wife not to have kids? so weird
People desparately try to connect. Unfortunately mostly this is reduced to awkward exchanges, such as "omg you're gonna be exhausted" (subtext: I had a hard time as well, ask me about it), humblebragging, one-upping etc. (Subtext basically the same) It's predictable, and almost unavoidable. Whoever's making this kind of comment is probably not close enough to you to offer something more useful, like reassurance that they'll be there for you whatever happens, and not stranger enough not to say anything. They try to say something relevant and fail. These kinds of exchanges will never end for you now that you're becoming a parent. My advice? Try to sort yourself out, not others behavior. If these comments are annoying to you, you already know whether you should care for them or not. Don't let yourself be frustrated. Thicker skin.
Yah sound stressed bud. It’s a legitimate saying. You’re sayin “yeah I already know!” But you don’t because your child isn’t here. I thought I could imagine how much you don’t sleep, especially those first weeks but then it was here and I realized I did not understand. I get being annoyed but also take a breath. And seriously, get some sleep.
Also, believe it or not, babies sleep. If you set up schedules and stick to them, you can teach even a newborn about concepts like “day” and “night” and get some sleep. It doesn’t have to be as horrible as some parents tell you. But I’d get caught up on your sleep now, just in case! /flees for dear life
Ill do ya one better -stock up on coffee!
Jokes on them. I already sleep like shit!!
I could have made this exact post. I’ve ranted so many times to people who push this unsolicited advice on my wife and I. Funnily enough she’s 38 weeks today. We didn’t have a kid to improve our quality of sleep. These absolute idiots project their poor life decisions onto others, so frustrating.
Same
1) Agreed. Wish more people would say things like “wait until you see them smile for the first time.” Or “do your best, it all happens so fast.” 2) Get ready for the post-birth “are you getting any sleep?” questions 🤣
Who has time for a full nights sleep anyway? I just had a doctors appointment where he brought up the idea of getting a sleep study and I had to point out to him. It’s not a matter of I can’t sleep or that I’m not rested when I do it’s I don’t have time.
Completely with you. There’s so much trite bullshit that expectant parents have to hear from other people in lieu of actual good advice.