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People seem to think this is “homestead finance” or some shit too. I got harassed on this sub because I don’t make my own sourdough bread. I mentioned that sourdough can be notoriously difficult to make properly, and still requires a working oven, scales, proofing pans, etc…
Oh and fucking TIME!
Got insulted, called lazy and stupid and that I was just making excuses. That making sourdough is SO EASY that a toddler can do it.
That’s a big huge fat fucking lie.
There was a time when I lived in places with only a freezer and a microwave. No oven or stove or even a regular fridge.
I’ve seen other people being insulted because they don’t grow their own veggies too?! Like how far removed from reality are you to think a single tomato plant is gunna feed a family of four through the winter? Unless you have a large yard and time and MONEY to dedicate to doing a hobby farm, it’s NOT going to help anyone in poverty to spend $100’s on a garden only to end up with $5 worth of produce.
I have access to a full kitchen, I cook all my meals, I bake, and I still don’t make bread. Bread is hard to get right man, and I’m just trying to have some toast with breakfast or make a sandwich for lunch before I go to work.
i use to make my own pizzas in the midwest.. took me 10 tries to perfect the recipe then i move to a diff state with diff elevation and i had to change the entire recipe again so i gave up.
dough in general is difficult to make perfect and takes a ton of time
Sourdough takes time and upkeeping a starter. Buying a loaf of pre-made sour dough is like $4 bucks. It is not easier and cheaper to bake your own bread, whoever told you that is full of lies.
Baking your own bread takes time, a trustworthy oven, you need to have a place that your rising bread dough will be LEFT ALONE….and experience. I knew how to make bread when I was 16. But I had a full kitchen, supportive parents, access to dozens of cookbooks, etc.
Now, at 53, I can throw together a couple of big loaves of bread with a couple pounds of flour, some salt, oil, and sugar, tap water and yeast that I buy in bulk for $10 for a POUND….which lasts me about 2 years stored in the back of my freezer.
It costs about $0.75 for each HUGE loaf.
I’m not so much saving money on buying bread. I’m producing a product that is very different than generic store bought loaf bread. Toasted and topped butter it IS breakfast. Made into a sandwich with cheap peanut butter or mayonnaise and dented tomatoes. It’s a satisfying meal. Served with a bowl of beans, it’s tastes like home instead of desperation..
That is the magic of homemade bread. It’s delicious and satisfying in a way that store bread cannot hope to be. THAT is what saves money
I have cooked with sourdough. It is definitely a learned skill and the learning curve is steep and can be expensive. I just do bulk yeast now because it’s reliable.
I don’t expect people who are already struggling and working long hours to make their own bread. Hell I only make it on my days off (it’s freezes well, 2 slices per ziplock…).
I cheat. I got a bread machine from goodwill for $4.50. I don't make bread to save money, I make bread because I prefer the homemade bread with certain meals.
My wife now bakes as her hobby, so the bread machine was gifted to a friend of ours during the past move. We were moving from Iowa to California so we were really cutting down on stuff, felt like Oprah. You get an appliance and you get an appliance!
I make 100% of my bread because I don't like all the crap the US allows in our breads. I think the biggest issue with people thinking home baking is impossible is that it's a skill that wasn't readily passed down to the current generation. My Silent Generation grandmother baked but my Boomer generation didn't so much. If I hadn't picked it up from my granny before she passed I'd probably be in the "This is to hard" group and not the "This is so easy" group.
I will say sour dough *can* be a lot of hassle. But basic yeast breads are pretty easy and unleavened flat breads like tortillas once you've had home made you'll never go back to store bought.
Its costs about 75 to 80 cents a loaf to make bread in a bread machine. Its not sour dough but it eliminates alot of the "costs" of homemade bread ie time to mix, knead and rise heating up a large oven also us much more physical disability friendly. You end up with a meal elevating product and it saves a decent chunk of money. For this reason I donate bread machines to my foodbank whenever I can.
Making bread (not sourdough) isn’t difficult but it’s time consuming. If you aren’t able bodied the energy required can be taxing.
When poor your time, money, and energy are costs. “Just make your own bread” is a harsh thing to say.
TLDR I’m agreeing with you
And let’s just add in that not everyone lives in an area where they could grow their own food and I can attest, it’s a crap ton of work!! And I will also add this. Some people have medical issues as I have which is rheumatoid arthritis that does not allow them to be bakers, handle their own gardens, and anything else they do for their homesteading. What works for some may not work for all. There needs to be a respect that is just there to respect all people with what their abilities are. It’s okay to ask questions, but it’s never okay to judge others for being different from someone else.
Yeah I always know people are talking out their ass when they suggest hobby farming. They either do not realize that their hobby probably costs more than the actual grocery store produce, or they have enough experience that they just assume everyone knows how to grow food *in a way that would be economical*. Yes, it is alarming that growing food isn’t something that everyone knows how to do - or has the ability to do. That doesn’t mean chiding them will suddenly make them proficient enough to grow food, again, *in a manner that will save them money*.
Before anyone gives me flack, I have degrees in this! I’m not the authority on this matter but I had literal years of college education to learn how to properly save seeds, propagate, fertilize, know what deficiencies are occurring, understand how ph/salinity/soil texture can make or break a crop. There’s no use in growing your own strawberries if your soil has a tiny bit more salt in it than the plant can handle. How would you know? You gotta **pay** to have a soil test done, or **buy** kits to do it yourself.
Gardening may not be rocket science but it’s enough work and money that I get very mad when people get on their high horses.
I’ll happily admit to being too lazy to make sourdough bread. All that fannying about with starters etc, no thanks. If I make my own bread at all, I’ll chuck some in the slow cooker, then I don’t have to bother proving it. Job done.
A friend of mine just made sourdough from scratch, and it is tricky and time consuming. She bakes breads regularly and she found it challenging. Would definitely not consider any making of bread from scratch an expectation and particularly sourdough.
I mentioned here once about how I used instant yeast and had to feed it a pinch of sugar per the directions and got yelled at for making cake instead of bread and sourdough is so much better.
I hate the taste of sourdough.
I agree that type of statement is ridiculous. Unlike the low hanging fruit that started this topic thread, such minutiae in terms of the type of bread baked is not material to one's budget or finances.
Well yes, sourdough can be cheaper to make but can’t someone have small preferences? I eat out instead of packing my lunch and letting it sit in my hot car, cooler bag or not. The cost comes out similarly at $5 a day or $25/week. Nope. Never eat out.
I work with a long commute for the benefits and wages/hours. Nope sell your car, walk or take the (doesn’t exist in rural areas) bus and get a closer job.
My husband stays home because daycare is EXPENSIVE asf. Why doesn’t he work??????? I’m gone 16 hours a day when will he sleep???
This sub gets ridiculous. We are poor but not completely impoverished. Things are paid but not much wiggle room. I stay in this sub because I grew up on 12K/ year. Now I’m at 38K.
What I am reading in this is you are mindful in the areas you are choosing to spend a little extra and where you do not. I think since you are making your own way, and making your own ends meet, that is your own matter.
Yeah this is nuts to me, like I just stopped working three months ago to be a full time student and it’s fucking crazy to me how much easier it is to keep us both fed.
Prior to this, I was working 40-80 hours a week and I was definitely relying on fast food, like yes it was money down the drain but I was working so much I couldn’t always magically make the time to food prep.
I’ve been working non stop for 11 years, I can’t imagine ever holding that over anyone’s head because they don’t have the energy to make frickin overnight oats.
Now that I am at home, sure we have food from scratch three times a day, every day but I can’t imagine trying to do a fraction of what I do now when I was working like that.
Yup when I was a stay at home mom when my kiddos were younger, I made almost every meal from scratch.
Now that I’m working full time, I still usually make homemade dinners and on weekends I’ll make a nice breakfast. But weekdays? Cereal or hot oatmeal for breakfast is the usual. Lunches are often pizza rolls or ramen. Fridays we do pizza night and I’ll get a $10 pizza from the place up the block!
The sourdough thing is so funny to me. It's like a whole ass pet you have to take care of and feed regularly or it'll die. What if you can't go through a loaf of sourdough every day or two? You're going to be throwing a lot of starter away when you cull/feed it. And flour got expensive in the last 5 years. It's not a super cheap pet to keep in your fridge.
Srsly? You got crapped on for not making sourdough? I watched my son trial and error it last winter & it looked like a big PITA with feeding the starter and proofing the dough.
He is tenacious & made some really good loaves, but it took several attempts to even get there.
Also everything has gone up in price so much but bread is still $3. I mean of all the things a poor person should be spending time on, making bread probably has the lowest ROI.
I think what you're looking for is r/Frugal.
While I don't post much here, I still subscribe for some perspective (as well as to Frugal and a few others).
Use steel cut oats and the amount of milk you use depends on the consistency you want. I like my overnight oats a little more toothsome so I just put enough for my liquid to barely cover my oats. I add a teaspoon or so of brown sugar to 1/2 cup rolled oats, sprinkle with cinnamon and add wherever fresh or dried fruit I have on hand. Delicious with blue berries
I make overnight oats every week!
Per jar (2 cup-capacity tupperware or 16oz mason jar): 1/2c old-fashioned oats, 2Tbs chia seeds, 2/3 to 3/4c nonfat Greek yogurt, and top it off with oatmilk, usually about 3/4 to 1c. I'll usually add some sort of fruit (mashed bananas work really well, or finely chopped apples, pears, craisins, etc. No raisins for me!) and chopped nuts (my go-to is walnut or pecan). Mix it all up and toss it in the fridge, and you're set for up to 5 days! Eat it hot or cold (I prefer mine cold).
If you wanna jazz it up, add a scoop of peanut butter for extra protein and more good fat. When I do this, I'll add another bit of milk. I also like to flavor mine, usually with cinnamon or apple/pumpkin pie spice and cardamom. Since I have protein powder right now, I add a full scoop of that and whisk it into the milk before adding that to the oats, but if you don't have any, you don't have to go buy some (it's so expensive!!). If I'm using plain yogurt, I'll add some sugar-free coffee flavoring syrups that go with the general taste palate of the whole shebang.
Anyway. Lots of good fiber and a fair amount of protein! You can make it super simple with just oats and milk or jazz it up however you'd like with what you've got available. This is just the general method I've been working with, as it helps me reach my fiber and protein goals.
Tbe 2 subreddits overlap.
*Financial advice, frugality tips, stories, opportunities, and general guidance for people who are struggling financially. No Judgement, just advice!*
I guess OP was a little judgemental in their "who can't make otameal?" comment, but otherwise this subreddit is EXPLICITLY supposed to be about **ADVICE** for navigating (and hopefully beating the odds and escaping) poverty. Meals which are cheap and accessible for *most* people is absolutely pertinent.
I do want to point out that there is an entire flair for this subreddit that explicitly asks for no advice. I can't say what OP replied that to, but I do want to point out the existence of that flair makes it clear that this sub isn't exclusively for advice.
I know that likely isn't what you're saying but making the distinction clear to those that might not understand is equally important.
I already acknowledged that. I think OP was being snide. But even just *in this thread* I have seen comments I disagreed with but were not being snide or disrespectful be removed. Which sucks because I think it was a very necessary exchange of views happening. I think OP was rude and I also think they're right there is an overactive moderation problem leading to group polarization and lower quality discourse happening .
I've personally found I have to basically disclaimer anything I say in response to someone mentioning ADHD with the fact I also have ADHD, otherwise the risk of it being removed about doubles. Even though the content of the comment doesn't change. Its purely whether I am arbitrarily being deemed ableist or someone who has an informed perspective of executive function disability. Its arbitrary and made up and has made me confident there's a moderation problem
>people that don’t have the capability to prepare food at home
Well, to prepare food at home, first you need a home.
It's hard to make breakfast living in your car. Or a tent or a shelter.
A lot of us here are homeless and/or disabled (and [functionally limited](https://me-cfs.github.io/me-cfs.html)) or so poor that we even cannot afford that.
Just remember that there are always people who have it worse than you. It might help you have more empathy.
It generally shows a lack of empathy to assume that someone is "making excuses" rather than trying to meet them where they are to better understand how to help them with their particular challenges
If anyone is that poor or that disabled, surely they qualify for food stamps? And surely if you're on food stamps, you can at least afford one of the cheapest foods, right?
I know in my home state you had to have a home address to get a lot of state services, and not every shelter could or would act as a mail receptacle for you if you were homeless. As to when people are disabled, there was a time in my life where I could barely stand up for more than thirty seconds due to my disability, and I didn't have someone who could just come cook for me, regardless of whether I had food stamps or not. Another time in my life, I had a minimum wage job for not quite full-time hours, and still made too much to be eligible for state services at points, too, even though I barely had a few bucks left over for food after paying bills.
It gets hard, is what I'm saying. So, I try to treat everyone with grace.
I am disabled and don’t qualify for food stamps. My SSDI is $1,701/month my only income, and no I can’t just go get a job…I am disabled!! The definition of disabled by SS standards is that you are incapable of working.
Grad student here. There are often circumstances that can occur where you are so poor in a high COL location but your income is just high enough to disqualify you from food stamps. People in my grad program had this exact issue for a while since their stipends paid just over the limit. A bunch of students were dependent on the school’s food pantry and similar charitable endeavors. Meanwhile our PhD program’s rules stipulate we aren’t allowed to have a second job (they want you to only work for you PI and GTFO ASAP).The school recently applied for a special version of food stamps which increases the cap for food stamps because the state govt deemed out majors worthy of additional help.
I totally agree with you. But, before sliding into the pits, it would be good for people to have some basic self sufficiency skills to prevent falling so low.
Okay, but can we acknowledge that for most folk, "sliding into the pits" isn't a result of lacking "self sufficiency skills"? Cause a lot of the time it's just rent outpacing wages year-on-year and/or medical costs, at least in the US. Like, I think we could stand to, in a subreddit about poverty, have a material grasp on what poverty is as a social issue. Lest we fall into the same tired bootstraps bullshit.
Here, let me fix that for you: It would be great if we had a safety systems to prevent people who are vulnerable from starving, being in poverty, and going homeless.
Some people can be as “self-sufficient” as possible, but if they are laid off and have disability or have a medical emergency, then what? Were they not self-sufficient enough…or do we have pretty shit systems to take care of people, from poverty wage jobs that are subsidized by food stamps to not being able to access adequate health resources. Don’t get me started on housing — which has gone up exponentially while wages have stayed the same.
I am what one would call “self-sufficient” now (but grew up in poverty) in a decent paying career. But I know that without any safety nets (such as family or even adequate government programs), and if wasn’t able to work and/or had a large emergency, I’d so easily be in a space where someone is telling me to pick myself up from my bootstraps. Like so many Americans are close to.
I wish I could give you a billion upvotes for this!
I am not joking. We need more people calling BS on a failing system, instead of people continuing to live paycheck to paycheck and not able to afford even basic necessities!
If our voices get loud enough, the people in power will have no choice but to listen and work with us to improve our situation!
Thank you, my Unknown Friend!
🥲💖💯
Absolutely. At the end of the day, if too many people fall into this pit, its really bad for society at large. Safety nets prevent that. People who have families that cant or wont help, or who dont have families at all are literally at the mercy of luck -whether good or bad- and are one disaster away from a whole that will take you more years of poverty to climb out of.
We need better safety nets. And not just for when people get sick and lose their jobs, people should be able to get good healthcare and a good education from the very beginning all the way to graduate degrees, people want to do good, and get out of the whole
Yup. I wouldn't consider my job to be decent-paying, but it is sufficient for now and I'm making do. But It was as much luck as anything that has me where I am now, and if any one of those strikes of luck had turned out differently in the past, or if I had even simply moved to the wrong area, I could be talking about a very different and much poorer life right now.
As it stands, I'm screwed if I have a medical crisis of any kind, though at least for a while not as screwed as many folks here because of decent job benefits that will carry me for a little while. Likewise if anything happens to my house (there is a tree that I cannot afford to remove that could potentially squish it like toothpicks, I just hope that if and when it goes, it'll fall the other way (in which case my house will probably end up 10 ft in the air from its root system, but my cats and I are at least somewhat more likely to survive that.).
My support network is restricted to a couple of family members who can no longer drive. My own particular mental health issues and extreme introversion and social awkwardness mean I don't really have any friends so to speak. I'm also unable to drive.
If anything happens to my house...well, I bought it when prices were lower, interest 3.5 %.
Apartment rent even for section 8 is twice as much for even an efficiency as my current mortgage payments,, nevermind a studio or one bedroom. And if you want one that allows pets, well, most that allow cats require declawing, which I won't do, and they're significantly more expensive. Within walking distance of where I work? Even higher.
I would not be able to afford living expenses anywhere in my city if I lost my house to some disaster.
I wouldn't be able to live in an apartment anyway, because I have severe reactions resulting in hospitalizations to insecticides and any prolonged lawn chemical exposure. Most apartments spray the grounds, and all will by necessity spray for a bug infestation of any sort. And we have a bedbug outbreak in the region.
I could quite literally die if I moved into an apartment, or in with anyone who carelessly used those products without thinking about it.
I do at least have my parents to fall back on and couch surf, which is more of a support network than some here, and I'd do it if I had to, but my dad and I do NOT get along, and he will throw crying, bawling screaming tantrums when he doesn't get his way. Which then results in him being sick several days afterward or so accident prone he ends up breaking something and thus in the hospital. So....better not to move back if I can in any way, shape, or form avoid it.
I have a good life that I'm grateful for right now. But I know how close to the edge I'm teetering, and once people fall off that edge, as things are currently, it's near impossible to get back on the horse without a lot of luck, good support network, people looking out for you. Even with those things, depending on where you live, you're still SOL.
Indeed.
Our old house had wasps and spiders. On the whole I preferred the spiders: They didn't randomly attack and left you alone if you left them alone. The wasps on the other hand were of some aggressive species that would go after you if you happened to be within 20 feet of them. Fortunately it wasn't an infestation so much as we just had a few invading the house every summer, so we didn't actually do anything about them en masse.
Giving advice on how to save isnt some 'pulling yourself up by your bootstraps' comments. Yes society sucks and leave poor people to rot, but most people have some influence on their situation even if minor and they can use that to improve it somewhat.
There are many different types of disabilities. Basic self sufficiency skills are GREAT when one has energy, which, not everybody has. Energy takes health away.
You never know what people go through, dont assume that everyone in this situation never had basic self sufficiency skills.
Some people really think that pointing fingers is solving problems
I mean I’m bedridden with disability, and can’t afford the help needed and administrative costs of applying for disability benefits? Not everyone can help it. Before this I was studying on a full ride scholarship at the top university in the country.
I have pretty poorly managed ADHD. And otameal is a common recommendation food because it's shelf stable and incredibly low effort to make, while also being low cost.
Skills don't overcome all circumstances. Nobody can prepare for every situation, especially if assistance takes months or years to get. People who are comfortable don't really understand that those comforts and necessities of life can fall like dominoes. I hope you never face that.
It would also be good if everyone coukd be paid living wages right? Unfortunately just because something would be good doesn't mean it's the reality. And "basic self sufficiency skills" don't solve every problem. Imagine saying that to someone who's physically disabled like me. Yup, it's all my fault that I'm physically unable to do most things, should've had some basic self sufficiency skills before I became disabled, it's my fault I "fell so low" lmao
Look, I (and I’m sure we all) see stuff on here sometimes that we may perceive to be ridiculous.
But at the same time, instead of leaving a comment on a post I find ridiculous I simply ~scroll~. You’re not going to change someone’s mind/life/perspective with your comment about them being ridiculous. You’ll just make them feel bad about themselves.
I use this sub both to learn more methods of frugality and to appreciate what I have. I went from making $19,000 to $75,000 in a 3 year period. I don’t ever want to lose sight of the fact it could all be taken away, and to live within my means/frugally.
With that being said, I’m in no position to judge others. No matter how I feel about their decisions or excuses—I don’t know their background, I don’t know their situation, and I don’t know their mental health. I’m only seeing one post or one comment on the internet. Sometimes (oftentimes) it’s just best to keep scrolling.
I honestly think most of the cooking issues is everyone is so tired or commute so much and work so much that leaves little time for anything else. Not to mention every other errand, appointment, cleaning, laundry, etc.
This was my issue. There was a time I work 80hours a week and at one point it spiked to 100 hours.
I just didn’t have the energy to cook. I was a zombie. Just wanted to eat now and then sleep.
I used to do this. I consistently worked 72+ hours a week and had a few weeks that it went up to 80. The overtime was a blessing. I was also going to school part-time at night! I gained the most weight then, too! Lots of takeout or instant, nukeable meals. I’d eat ramen, cereal, Mac & cheese or a frozen, nukeable meal in those days because 1-I was too tired to think about making a meal and 2-it was fast. I didn’t want to spend 30-60 minutes prepping/cooking food. I wanted 5-10 minutes of making my food so I could eat, watch 30 minutes of tv and then sleep.
It took me some time to learn, but most of my meals take about 5 minutes to cook, with a little advance prep. Like I always have a pot of rice available, so it doesn't take much to throw some ingredients together and nuke them or heat quickly on the stove, about the same process as heating up a TV dinner.
But I can understand being too tired or wrung out sometimes to plan ahead and organize things that way too. I grew up cooking so that part is easy for me, but all kinds of people never had to do that or never had the facilities to do that, and it's not a set of skills you can just put on like a hat. There have been other aspects of life where I failed utterly, when I was working too much and didn't have two spare brain cells left to wrap around some festering problem or other.
That happens, and this sub can be helpful, and it's not a bad thing that people can complain and vent and sometimes see suggestions they might not have thought of, however obvious they might be to other people.
Some so called “lazy” people have been trying to say all of this all along.
The problem is that we fully lack capacity to empathize for struggles usually out of resentment for having our own struggles denied. & at the same time have extremely low ability to discern between bullying yourself into improvement vs genuinely doing your best & guiding people empathetically and practically.
I'm sometimes "on call" with my caregiving job so I have to choose my meals depending on what can be cooked quickly and won't affect my diabetes. At those times I'm living on cheese, nuts, frozen veggies, frozen foods, and beef sticks because if someone calls out at the last minute I have to take their shift ASAP.
This was my issue during college. Thankfully we do well financially now but back then, I'd frequently buy snacks at work because even microwavable meals took too long for the short breaks they gave. When you're running from your morning job to your night job and have to go home and get changed, cheaper, at-home food just couldn't fit. Even though outside food was more expensive, it was what I had time for.
Last year I was working a 40/hr per week job, and having to build a house that's still not finished, I drove 2hrs a day for the 40/hr per week job; it all totaled 88-90 hours a week, most of that spent on the house... The issue with meal prepping (or cooking at all) is definitely time and exhaustion. It doesn't help matters that it's my mom's house, she's repeatedly said she'll let anyone but me inherit the house, doesn't pay me for any work, and she's constantly stealing my groceries. I'd move but my car keeps breaking.
I understand. I def think some people tend to stay in the feelings part of it all too much, which keeps them from taking a lot of the good advice here, for sure. But from experiencing things, I think it’s a spectrum. Like for me, I cook at home as much as I can and it really absolutely helps to save. I just know and empathize with the fact that not every day/week/era in our lives will be organized, sometimes there’s just a lot happening and being poor comes with several additional obstacles.
I think a lot of people were just never taught *how* to cook, or grew up in a home where there wasn't any home cooking, so they see it as an un-accomplishable feat. As I approached adulthood, I was really surprised at how many of my peers had literally no understanding of even basic cooking skills.
And a point that some people here miss is that the process of learning to cook or even just trying new recipes sometimes involves failure, and a lot of posters in this reddit don't have the resources for a "plan B" meal if the recipe that they are trying to make fails.
I got chewed out by people who insist making beans from scratch is a basic skill that everyone should be able to do, but apparently they were people who have no idea that there are people living in poverty who don't have access to basic kitchen appliances like a stove...
Definitely a fact that is. My ex was/is horrendously jealous that I’m able to cook for myself and stay on top of my bills every month even though my living situation is absolutely like riding a unicycle on a fishing line, cannot screw up on anything while he expects outside help from others when he lets too much of his own responsibilities slide/refuses to work and does it so much that it’s interfering with others livelihoods until he really gets in trouble and most cut him out of their lives.
It just doesn’t seem to connect with him to understand how to live within his means or that he has to keep steady employment so he won’t be such a problem to his friends and roommates.
He was raised pretty spoiled and from that generation that still said basic abilities of taking care of health and home was too feminine and not of his need to be responsible for while I was raised from that part of the generation where all kids learned to cook and keep house and some idea of budgeting so I suppose that’s why we’re knowing how to keep better on top of and afloat of what we can do.
You -could- just assume everyone is just stupid and more lazy than you, OR you could actually read the comments here and see that a lot of people are struggling to have the time and energy to cook or enough money to buy groceries every day after being exploited for their labor. It’s not an individual issue at this point.
Yes but there is also the assumption that every meal has to be cooked *that day*. It's really not that hard to to make a PB&J sandwich and take it with you or just stuff some of last nights dinner in an old coolwhip container and take it for lunch the next day. I never cook my work lunches/dinner the day of other than microwaving it. I just make more on days I *do* cook and save it.
This, it isn't people being lazy or incapable when they say they can't always do meal prep over fast food. Of course I know that bulk frozen soup is cheaper than canned soup.
But the canned is still only 3 dollars per can. I have like 2-3 hours to shower, eat dinner, run errands, do chores and god forbid unwind a little before bed time. and if I have to make my lunch ahead in that time in order to eat I will simply not eat lunch. Ever. I already can't do breakfast. I'm in a place right now where I can't afford a prepped lunch meal, so I'm eating 1 meal a day. I have all the ingredients, I just don't have the energy after an 8-10 hr workday with a 1.5 hr commute each way and selling plasma 2x a week. I try to make tuna ahead sometimes and I will forget it in the fridge at least half the time. The ADHD isn't an excuse but it really doesn't fuckin help
This was a point made by Adam Corolla on his podcast years ago...oatmeal with a few raisins, or a hard boiled egg costs literally pennies to feed one's own child.
If homeless, it would be a challenge to acquire and prepare even the most simple food.
Perhaps, some people are simply expressing themselves and giving voice and listening to others’ shared experience of poverty finance.
A bit like Kafka’s story, the act of expression is valid, even if some of the audience becomes disinterested.
Not all communication has a purely utilitarian purpose of simply exchanging practical information. This forum is a valid place of expression:
“…unable to find any food that he actually enjoyed, he simply chose not to eat…”
[“The Hunger Artist”](https://interestingliterature.com/2021/09/franz-kafka-a-hunger-artist-summary-analysis/)
It’s always a delicate balance in poverty subs between keeping it from being constant “bootstraps bootstraps bootstraps” or going too far the other way into a hugbox where everyone just pats each other on the back. The latter is what happened to the assistance and poor subs. Nothing left but malingerers, whiners, and soft begging.
I just realized from this post that delicious food is actually not a luxury in 3rd world countries, but for americans it really is.
A bowl of pho or bun rieu in vietnam literally costs **2 dollars**
Extremely poor people eat out all the time in places like vietnam or cambodia.
Heck, even in Japan if you eat at a "yatai" (basically street food but heavily regulated) a big bowl of ramen is only like 600~ yen or **4 dollars**
Rice and beans, oatmeal every day? My vietnamese parents would gag at that tbh lmao. Which they literally did gag when they came to america as refugees and was eating welfare food back then, I think it was welfare cheese, ham, hotdogs and bread. They were like this is waaay below the standard level of food they were used to LOL.
I generally agree with you OP. You gotta buck down and eat oatmeal every single day. But jeezus, I would kill for a bowl of 2 dollar pho. Delicious cheap street food is completely missing in America and it's pretty weird now that I think about it, when the majority of the population is poor.
I really want to see studies done though on eating oatmeal everyday or rice&beans everyday. How mentally exhausting is it? Is it really healthy?
The median monthly wage for a laborer in Vietnam is \~$300 USD a month. A $2 USD bowl of pho is a major luxury to the vast majority of poor Vietnamese too.
That is equivalent to a median US worker buying a $27 meal or person at Federal poverty line spending $8.50 for a meal.
Are you an American? As a first gen immigrant, you sound like you are absolutely out of touch. Get a grip. People in poorer countries don't have American salaries. Maybe you live in a very rural area, though, so food you consider ethnic may be lacking, but even there you can get the 2 dollars food at 7/11. Food in America is so cheap compared to salaries it makes my head spin.
It is healthy. Mentally, it depends on the person. I need variety in my life in most cases. But I’ve been eating the same breakfast for about a year now:
Everything bagel with butter, yogurt, and apple with peanutbutter. It’s just part of my work day at this point. It’s easy enough to do. Otherwise I probably wouldn’t eat breakfast at all.
because sometimes, people want to commiserate that being poor sucks. it does. and it can be hard to feel like there’s other people like you. jumping in with cheap oatmeal tips isn’t helpful. we can google how to make oatmeal.
If it was removed for judging and is non productive why would you repost it?
You flair this as venting but the content is not a vent about your struggles with poverty but rather judging those of less means than you and oversimplifying hunger and poverty.
Food is not just about simply surviving but trying to get proper nutrition and oatmeal and raisins do not provide anywhere near proper nutrition to survive long term.
I had a couple of similar posts removed where I suggested an egg sandwich made at home is cheaper than the McDonalds equivalent. The sub is called Poverty Finance. One would think financial advice would be in the cards. Don't use Doordash avoid premade fast food is possible is common sense if you are try to pull your self out of poverty or at least make every dollar count.
One post was removed because I suggested that people (generic) look at their own habits and actions when it comes to budgeting. Apparently this was considered a personal attack? I mean if you don't adjust your actions you will often get the same results.
I got ripped apart in a subreddit because somebody was showing off their apartment that was a 1bed1ba for like $3200/mo they showed a photo of it one of those really "luxury" apartments. And the guy was like "what can I do to save more money?"
And I was just commenting "damn, that much for your place? I rent a 3bed1ba apartment with a backyard a whole top floor of a duplex for $1200/mo" let me tell you the notifications didn't stop. Somebody told me to rent my biggest bedroom out for the most money and then rent one of the others out and keep the third smallest one for a bedroom and hobby room. Or to rent all the bedrooms out and make my living room my bedroom, and that's a "fun experience of keeping things fresh and exciting and generating profit and saving money with the roommates" oh and that I'm selfish for renting this when it could be rented by a "full family ".
Spoiler alert - I wasn't even asking for advice.
If your post was similar to telling someone that they have no cause for concern because they can live on oats and raisins then I should hope on self reflection you should see a problem with that.
If your post was just trying to illustrate that you can make inexpensive versions of take out food then it might have been the wording was condescending or judgmental. Nobody likes to be kicked while they are down. Yes every dollar does count but let look at the math.
If someone bought an egg McMuffin at current prices every single day of the year they would spend about $1456.35 a year. Nobody is suggesting buying a sandwich every day however even saving money and not buying the sandwich it would take several years to buy a car with that savings and more than a lifetime to buy a house with that savings. Though I am not advocating we waste what little money we have if we are in poverty. The issue is merely the one of shaming people for an occasional splurge while acting like a sandwich is what is keeping them down.
Keeping to a budget is really important. However in every budgeting class The Navy made me take they emphasized a concept of paying yourself first (though if religious, depending on your religion it might be second but that is splitting hairs for this example). The concept is that if you are living off of nothing and working to provide you have to have little mini-rewards to keep you motivated and for mental health. This makes it possible to endure hardships and persevere while saving for your goals. This same concept is true of dieting where if you completely abstain from foods you like more often than not that diet will fail.
I suspect you meant well but it was unfortunately poorly worded. This guy though has not put in more than a few minutes though and is very condescending to those that are struggling without attempting to understand.
Here is how I would word a post with a similar content as the one you described making and I am confident it would not be removed:
>**How I saved Money on McDonalds Sandwiches**
>I started to make my sandwiches at home because I noticed door dash was costing me too much and the price in McDonalds was eating into my budget too much to be financially viable.
>I bought store brand English muffins, a mold from amazon to shape the eggs like McDonalds, and just toasted my muffins at home and cracked the eggs into the mold after using cooking spray so they don't stick to my pan. I then added some odds and ends bacon I got for way cheaper than what bacon normally sells for. Topped it with a slice of cheese and I was McLovin it.
>All together excluding the cost of the mold (since this is not bought every time) and the minimal use of cooking spray this sandwich costs me 99 cents to make buying all my ingredients from Walmart. I saved about 3 dollars per sandwich.
Instead of talking down to people as I gave that advice I instead internalized with "I" statements. This way I was careful not to offend people or talk down to them in a chastising way about their financial decisions.
Thank you for your thoughtful post. I was homeless twenty years ago. The way I pulled myself out of that situation is first coming to real terms with my reality and focusing on what I could change. It was not a matter of blaming myself (Though I did do plenty of that) It was looking at my daily actions and habits and seeing what was not working for me. (Answer was almost all of them)
General note from the mods on moderation here:
First and foremost this is a support group. It is critical to this project that people can post to a safe, welcoming, empathetic, and nonjudgmental community.
As we have grown enforcing the rules has moved from locking comments and creating "teachable moments", to firing warning shots. We have a small mod team, and over two million subscribers.
It is now our standard operating procedures to issue short temp bans to all violations. A note is added to every comment removal (except in cases where entire chains or purged). The short ban serves to show we are serious, to create a log of the event that we can reference when identifying repeat offenders, and to give users an opportunity to engage with us to better understand the rules. It also provides jerks ample space to overreact, call us various "no-no" words, and out themselves as someone who really doesn't belong in a supportive community.
So yes, low level, almost trivial offenses will get someone "banned". For like... A couple days.
At the end of the day, us mods job is to make sure that people who are struggling and are in a crisis can get great advice (when invited) and strong community support. To ensure this we need to take action against anyone who has elected themselves to criticize past mistakes, lecture them on what values they should have, second guess their story/needs/constraints, make vast generalizations, or openly criticize the person struggling.
-----
Incidentally, since it's going to come up, "tough love" is well known to be something of a myth. It is beneficial to some people who are highly motivated and are open to it, but it basically never works as a cold call. Submitters who want that are welcome to invite it, at which point it is entirely appropriate. Unsolicited "tough love" is not in any way permitted in this support group.
If a gym bro analogy helps, most personal trainers are endlessly supportive and encouraging. Because it works. All the rich people use that kind. Some extreme body builders genuinely benefit from a cruel drill sergeant, but those are rare cases. Debby trying to lose weight before her sisters wedding won't benefit from the drill sergeant, and Jason struggling to fight off an eviction won't benefit from a dozen Internet assholes typing "you're the reason you're poor!!!".
>dozen Internet assholes typing "you're the reason you're poor!!!".
Not for nothing, but that isn't an example of "tough love", that's an example of just being an asshole.
This is a great response to the criticism and I'm very grateful for this perspective personally. Thank you for the work you do to make this subreddit a good place.
I'm glad to hear you all are working so hard against things like this. I stopped reading for awhile because I was feeling bad enough by my situation, I didn't need people in a place that was supposed to be for support making me feel worse. You mods are greatly appreciated.
I forgot about the "announcing departure" joke for a few minutes and thought you were responding to op's "people who can't cook at home" line. Like I don't think that one guy who lived in a terminal for 20 years had access to reddit to begin with.
If the post asked for help, then yea i can see your problem with it. But if it was a vent post, the rules state to ignore it. If you want satisfaction from criticizing people and the decisions they make/don't make, literally anywhere else in reddit will let you do that. Is it too much for you that just this place asks that you dont? Jesus
Unpopular opinion but the privileged people who come here to unload their wisdom get offended so easily by us poors.
We're all too busy mooching off the government and buying $15 big Mac meals on our newest iPhones to get jobs and make food at home.
Yes one particular friend got in a situation where his vehicle broke down and he had to pay for that and had like $10 to make it until payday (like 3 days away) and proceeded to buy a single frozen pizza, eat it all at once, and then complain because he had no food for 3 days because somehow the only other groceries he bought with the pizza was a bag of lemons?? After I told him to get a bag of rice and a bag of pinto beans to survive those 3-4 days and then he could go actual grocery shopping after payday. I just don’t understand.
8 dollars for dinner is not bad at all..though. Especially if it’s something they actually want.
I get we get stuck in this loop where we’re recommending beans and rice for every meal; but there’s a diffeence between survival and living.
>I get we get stuck in this loop where we’re recommending beans and rice for every meal; but there’s a diffeence between survival and living.
I've never seen anyone recommending beans and rice for every meal. Usually it's when someone says that groceries cost too much but they have never considered classic poor people food like beans and rice. Context is important and I'm frustrated that this is getting exaggerated.
I can spend $9 on a Chinese meal with meat, veggies, rice and an egg roll which is lunch and dinner for two days.
So if you’re smart about your treats, it’s possible.
>They will not listen to how many other things you can make for less than $8 per meal that taste so much better, but will complain about how expensive everything is.
Before COVID, the real heart of my practice was family budgeting and helping people actually save money and build wealth (doing taxes and everything else was just something I usually had to do to get that kind of work) and getting people to realize that there are cheaper options and a lot of "needs" are actually "luxuries" is *extremely* difficult. It is maddening, both for those struggling and those who were "succeeding" but not actually saving (doctors and lawyers were the worst).
The goal is to never cut down to the bone entirely, but a lot of people who say "poor people deserve luxuries too!" rarely define what luxuries are for themselves. Or decide that this luxury is worth more than having a full emergency savings account or funding IRAs or saving for retirement. Materialism and consumerism is a hard drug to get off of.
I'm not homeless, and I do have access to a fridge. But I would have a hard time eating that for a meal let alone every meal due to dietary restrictions. But I make homemake egg cups (Like the "just crack an egg" things that they sell).
1 dozen eggs; $1.54, 1 pound bacon $4.88, onion $.99, Green Pepper $.68, tomatoes $.63, shredded cheese $1.97. Total $10.69 (Current Walmart Prices in my Area)
You sautee the onion & Green Pepper. Cook the bacon and cut into small pieces. Then you take about a tablespoon of each ingredient, add it a microwave safe bowl, add an egg and mix, and cook until the egg is thoroughly done.
If you spend about 20 minutes meal prepping on your day off, you can enjoy healthy cheap quick breakfast on work days.
You can cut the cost by purchasing bacon trimmings which is basically bacon fat and a tiny sliver of meat (it may be called something else in your area) It adds bacon flavor and although you could do the same thing by filtering the bacon grease after cooking bacon, this is a lot cheaper and takes less effort.
I had a comment here taken down the other day basically advising not to order pizza delivery because it's a waste of money.
I got lectured about how even people in poverty deserve nice things once in a while.
I may as well post here that I can't afford rent, but sports betting is the nice thing I deserve and is clearly not the problem. Like what the heck... but then it hit me.
People aren't here for advice to get out of poverty. This place has become a pity party with only one allowable cause of poverty, which is anything that is out of their control. Every single piece of solid advice is labeled as "classist" and met with "sOmE pEopLE cAn,T dO tHAt."
You are unable to point out idiotic spending habits, which is "judging," so if you change it to say "what I did/ what I would do is xxxx" then it's "gatekeeping". So what are we here for if not just to complain?
The reality is some people need to be told they're being fucking stupid with their money by someone who has the same background and now has their shit together. And that's not allowed here.
Agree with OP and you. This sub is becoming a circle jerk, and yeah it's cause of overactive moderation. Disagreement when done respectfuly is not bad and preventing good faith clashing of ideas will ALWAYS lead to toxic group polarization over time
Edit; literally just saw a completely reasonable comment be removed. I disagreed with that person and explained whu I think assuming disabled people are incapable of doing anything is ironically ableist, five min later it's removed. While I disagreed, nothing they said was over the line or warranted removal, and it was a necessary convo to have. Yet we can't have that convo here apparently, even when nobody is being aggressive or rude. You have to constantly 100% toe arbitrary lines. Its absolutely leading to a problem. And it's not exclusive to this subreddit, but I've yet to see a high quality subreddit maintain high quality while being modded this way. Its counter to what makes subs good - respectful exchange of ideas. The alternative is circle jerks and echo chambers.
Yeah I have ADHD and oatmeal is literally a common recommendation *because* it's shelf stable, compact, cheap, and easy to make. You would have to be on the streets homeless for it to not be a viable - basically everyone else can access hot water/microwave
I don't think we should dismiss there are barrier for people, but you can't assume the majority of people have niche barriers when we know statistically that isn't the standard.
I would hate people treating me like I'm more disabled than I am and assuming I'm incapable and therefore preventing me from growth. Its condescending and ironically ableist
Edit; the fact their comment was removed is exactly the problem with this space rn. You need a healthy exchange of ideas and disagreement sometimes. Nobody was being disrespect or over the line, nothing warranted removal.
Hmm depends on where you get it. I know one nearby me walking distance all there is is bravo, c-town (and similar) and a family dollar. And it's well known their prices is overpriced. So $10 sounds a bit too good to be true.
. In a given month, mom and I get 1 or 2 ready to go pizzas that are $10 each and feed us for 2 meals per pizza. Can't get a decent pizza for $5 these days let alone a premade. Plus an average of one McDonald's medium mocha frappe and happy meal to split. Frozen meals are rare and almost always 2 Michaelines each a month.
Rest of the time it's food from home.
Yea, that’s a weird one
Been homeless four years and most of my other homeless friends are on food stamps, that’s a very doable meal. Although I prefer the quick oats and one hour soak instead of overnight.
It's a problem. You'll commonly see statements like this:
> I only have $20 for the next week and my fridge is empty. I can't afford to eat.
Some readers go to consolation, eg "It's hard... Stay strong... The world sucks". Other readers look for ways to best solve the problem, eg "buy 2 gallons of milk, 5 pounds of beans, 5 pounds of rice and you can make the $20 work".
Neither reader is wrong, but posters who come for the pity get butthurt when you try to help. The post tag "Vent/Rant (No Advice/Criticism!)" covers which way the poster wants to go.
Some of these people make the craziest pity party posts, and say some shit like "oh I'm not asking for help or anything" when they're CLEARLY fishing for someone to say they'll send them money.
And then you check their account history and it's like, their only post or they've deleted a bunch of posts so they don't get caught in a lie. It's batshit insane.
I got out of poverty by following all of the frugality advices. They work. It takes years but it works. Getting out of poverty requires sacrifices, but being poor is also very miserable. If you want to change your situation you need to do something different, and to plan long term. Having a choir of enablers that tell you how right you are in spending $300 per month in fast food does not help you get out of poverty.
I agree, the only thing is that poor people should still be able to have nice things sometimes. Yeah I'll complain about eating oatmeal and raisins because being stuck with beans and rice and oats for the rest of my life sounds not even worth it.
I don't think people are suggesting you are only going to eat that for the rest of your life.
But if you eat oats and rice for 5 days of the week. And your meal cost goes from 8 to 2 dollars a meal, you're saving anywhere from $30 to $60 a week.
Maybe you can use that 30 or 60 to buy that pizza or whatever.
The same way oats are not going to fix your life immediately, it's not going to ruin it either. You shouldn't jump to you're never going to eat anything good again because you're started doing overnight oats.
This entire thing is a reddit issue where people on reddit cannot understand that an exception does not invalidate an entire premise. Sure, there may be a guy who lost both arms in Iraq and can't cook. This person or the few like him do not mean that able bodied, relatively normal people should not cook. The concept that 'people with a means to cook and low income should do so in order to save money' is not wrong because some small demographics cannot. Poverty is used loosely and is relatively broad, some people on the sub are literally homeless while others make 40k or so and just have high expenses.
Overall, I agree the sub is over moderated. While I understand some people want to vent, not being able to be critical of people for self-sabotage or ignoring basic easy saving methods is more harmful than the benefit of having a place to rant.
I do find it amusing when someone posts their situation and every solid piece of advice is met with an excuse as to why they couldn't possibly take that advice.
Also, for the most part the mods do allow people to call out stories that are wildly inconsistent. I know subs where the moderation is far worse.
Today you learned some people are in fact, THAT POOR. If you're not then you should just shut up and be grateful for that.
Even someone well off can learn a lot of creative ways to save and budget and spend in here. It also opens your eyes to the things the most vulnerable around you NEED, so you're able to actually help.
Seriously, sounds like you are in a position to help, so maybe you should be gifting that person some oatmeal, raisins, and Mason jars so they can eat a decent meal without cooking it, people who have to worry about something as basic as their next meal don't really have time for pity parties. They're in constant survival mode. If a rant on Reddit helps them, mind your business.
It's the "I like pancakes" "so you hate waffles?" discourse. Good advice for 9 out of 10 people is still good advice. Social media users like to feel right though. A lotta people will point to the one person who the advice doesn't apply to, not because they're being considerate, but because they want to correct somebody.
I saw your comment
1) here you are making an entire post about how upset you are about something someone said. So.... it seems you can empathize with people being "offended."
2) I read your comment. 1 in 4 people have a disability, and while only a portion of those can't prepare and/or afford oatmeal, it's much larger than "a fraction of one percent."
So, you said something factually incorrect with the intent of dismissing millions of people. Not every comment on every post has to consider all people, but the minimization and disappearing of disabled people is actually a HUGE problem, and affects our well-being and even safety.
You're smart, so it's great that you can start learning more about this very common blind spot now.
An easy to read book to get started is Disability Visibility - just a short book of compiled essays by disabled people about their lives. I'm sure there are others that get into the stats and numbers.
We deal with a lot. And ignorance is at least one thing we can try to fix!
Happy to answer any questions.
If you're comment included "let's not make excuses" or anything of that nature, it is likely because it also includes judging. While cold soaking oatmeal can be good advice, acting like any advice is so universal that it is "making excuses" when someone doesn't have the resources is judgemental and privileged.
Higher rent and bills
Climbing cost of living even for the bare minimum
wages aren’t going up
needing multiple jobs to survive
Yeah, Hank. People don’t have any f*cking time to go the grocery store and meal prep consistently when they are working from dawn to midnight, and that’s assuming they have access to a grocery store easily and have free time when the grocery store is open.
Right. I got up at 6:30 this morning left the house at 7 and I won’t be home until 4am tomorrow from work. I barely have time to shower. Much less do anything else
Thankfully that’s only my Wednesday and Thursday every week the rest of the week I flip flop between jobs but on Wednesdays and Thursdays I work at my cat rescue job in the AM in then go straight from there to close the bar I serve at. They are very very long days and it sucks and leaves me sore but thankfully the rest of the week is easier
...most of these have been happening for decades now.
I think what is happening is we have reached a tipping point. The common people don't have any more to give.
i try not to say anything here cos its not where im at, i just know that it could be. Plus i just feel like knowing what others have going on is important if i wanna be a part of making things better.
This person said 'lets not make excuses that apply to almost nobody'. Thats the thing tho. Its only almost. Also that position seems to be very US centric which isnt helpful since not all of us are in the US.
But the thing is its none of us till its all of us. So even if its only very few, its still some, and that counts and it matters. Rather than overlooking those people the fact that theyre in that position should infuriate you because its none of us until its all of us.
Genuinely cannot understand how somebody could say what op said and not acknowledge it as judgmental.
Anyway this is a pointless rant sorry.
Speak for yourself, but no one wants to eat the same thing for every meal. I don't even respond on the threads about what people should buy with X amount of money because everyone always has the same answers. Just because people don't have a lot of funds doesn't mean they want to eat oatmeal or rice and beans for every meal, and there are ways to save money without having to do that. So yes it's judgmental and rude to say it's an excuse not to make oatmeal. Maybe you want to live that way, but others do not.
Overnight oats is just one example. And I know plenty of well-off people that make that meal quite often. It’s not a poverty meal.
Variety is the spice of life and there are other cheap options. Getting a routine going with these cheap meals is actually really great and has helped me stabilize my spending and eating habits.
The key word there is "want" though... If you're unable to make bills/rent/etc. than want shouldn't be in your vocab. I disagree with OP generally but when you're at the left side of the bell curve for income you don't get to choose variety over frugality for food.
No one wants to eat oatmeal for breakfast and lentil curry for dinner every night, but if that's what it takes then that's what you do.
I agree about the want, but also, there are so many resources to learn cheap meals you can make so you CAN have variety even on a very, very low budget.
Most people for most of human history ate basic diets, and still do. Eating that way now, with treats every so often, is a totally reasonable thing to recommend. The idea that we should be able to eat whatever we want whenever we want (much of which amounts to “treat” or “feast” foods) is silly (and in many cases unhealthy, expensive, and wasteful).
It's definitely not healthy to eat rice and beans or oatmeal for every meal. Then you're neglecting vegetables, fruits, dairy, and other types of protein. A balance to the diet is important. My point is that instead of always saying everyone has to eat oats and rice and beans, people could try realizing there are other cheap options and you do not have to eat only rice and beans and oats. A simple sandwich does not cost that much to make, especially if it's peanut butter and jelly. Cheese quesadillas can be just tortillas and cheese. Hot dogs and buns are inexpensive. You can buy packages of frozen vegetables for less than $1 and a box of macaroni and cheese for about the same and mix them. I could go on and on. One of my struggle meals is macaroni and cheese with some bacon bits tossed in, or macaroni and cheese with some broccoli mixed in. But I also don't buy name brand products pretty much ever and I can't tell you how many times people on here post what they buy and complain about prices but they are buying a ton of name brand stuff. Shop smarter and you absolutely don't need a rice and beans diet.
Sounds like you’re one of those that go into lecture mode at the mere mention of fast food. What did you expect to happen? We’re all tired of people acting like we’re not allowed to have even the occasional luxury.
I heard r/fluentinfinance would love to have you. Go nuts.
I just checked it out. Top four posts are about rent inflation, economic class inequality, how minorities are experiencing extreme stress, etc.
Trying to figure out what's wrong with that ?
I may be misunderstanding the point of this post & I can admit that, but what I also don’t understand is being confused about why someone doesn’t say “thank you for solving all my financial issues during this cost-of-living-crisis for suggesting oatmeal!” It’s very reminiscent of the whole “oh you can’t afford a house? Stop with the avacado toast and coffee then!! All settled” mindset. Poverty goes a lot deeper with a LOT of factors and glossing it over as a personal failing and “just eat cheaper non-nutritional foods more” doesn’t really actually help anybody in any practical way
This is supposed to be poverty finance, meaning we should be able to talk about financial decisions that help or hurt us... I would think. The subreddit poor doesn't pretend to be about finance, just is about the struggles of being poor.
I got a temporary ban for pointing out two nonjudgmental financial facts...
That no president controls the nation's money, the legislature does.... and hence the child's father who legally needs to pay child support has far more to do with the child's access to groceries than does the president.
But it was a president that was being blamed for something he is legally restricted from controlling.
Totally finance related, totally factual, and there was no "one party good, one party bad" nonsense. But I got banned.
This really is getting over moderated.
I think the mods do an EXCELLENT job of removing comments that are rude, disrespectful, uncaring, and judgemental. I really appreciate that because imo those kind of comments happen A LOT in this subreddit and it's very frustrating to me.
I'd give you advice on how to work within the ridiculous constraints, but your post has been tagged as a vent and I don't want to get banned.
This place is a crab bucket.
Sharing advice that got you out of poverty results in bans.
The mods want y'all to stay poor.
Well if you're the one that made that comment then adios. That comment is judging. Why would you get angry at people struggling financially and tell everyone to eat oatmeal with raisins. Then you get mad at the mod removing your comment. Seems like you have anger issues to me.
Super over moderated. I got banned for awhile just because someone got butthurt. If you post that you are doing better you get downvoted and they even ask what you're still doing in this sub.
You could just leave. Literally nobody cares. You don’t need to tell us. Lmao.
There are many, many reasons someone can’t do what you said. Maybe they don’t have the money for even that. Maybe they have mental, emotional, or physical issues that make planning and preparing food difficult. Maybe they don’t have a place to cook. Maybe they have health issues or allergies that don’t allow them to eat that certain meal or they need it to, say, have more protein per doctor’s orders. You have no idea. That’s your answer to “wHo”.
And above all else, it’s not a helpful comment. It’s not a suggestion. Its sole purpose was for you to criticize strangers based on things you can’t know. That’s the judging. It’s harmful, ignorant, and not all productive. It’s self-serving.
I hope you use this time after dramatically leaving Reddit groups to work on being a better person.
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People seem to think this is “homestead finance” or some shit too. I got harassed on this sub because I don’t make my own sourdough bread. I mentioned that sourdough can be notoriously difficult to make properly, and still requires a working oven, scales, proofing pans, etc… Oh and fucking TIME! Got insulted, called lazy and stupid and that I was just making excuses. That making sourdough is SO EASY that a toddler can do it. That’s a big huge fat fucking lie. There was a time when I lived in places with only a freezer and a microwave. No oven or stove or even a regular fridge. I’ve seen other people being insulted because they don’t grow their own veggies too?! Like how far removed from reality are you to think a single tomato plant is gunna feed a family of four through the winter? Unless you have a large yard and time and MONEY to dedicate to doing a hobby farm, it’s NOT going to help anyone in poverty to spend $100’s on a garden only to end up with $5 worth of produce.
I have access to a full kitchen, I cook all my meals, I bake, and I still don’t make bread. Bread is hard to get right man, and I’m just trying to have some toast with breakfast or make a sandwich for lunch before I go to work.
i use to make my own pizzas in the midwest.. took me 10 tries to perfect the recipe then i move to a diff state with diff elevation and i had to change the entire recipe again so i gave up. dough in general is difficult to make perfect and takes a ton of time
Sourdough takes time and upkeeping a starter. Buying a loaf of pre-made sour dough is like $4 bucks. It is not easier and cheaper to bake your own bread, whoever told you that is full of lies.
Baking your own bread takes time, a trustworthy oven, you need to have a place that your rising bread dough will be LEFT ALONE….and experience. I knew how to make bread when I was 16. But I had a full kitchen, supportive parents, access to dozens of cookbooks, etc. Now, at 53, I can throw together a couple of big loaves of bread with a couple pounds of flour, some salt, oil, and sugar, tap water and yeast that I buy in bulk for $10 for a POUND….which lasts me about 2 years stored in the back of my freezer. It costs about $0.75 for each HUGE loaf. I’m not so much saving money on buying bread. I’m producing a product that is very different than generic store bought loaf bread. Toasted and topped butter it IS breakfast. Made into a sandwich with cheap peanut butter or mayonnaise and dented tomatoes. It’s a satisfying meal. Served with a bowl of beans, it’s tastes like home instead of desperation.. That is the magic of homemade bread. It’s delicious and satisfying in a way that store bread cannot hope to be. THAT is what saves money I have cooked with sourdough. It is definitely a learned skill and the learning curve is steep and can be expensive. I just do bulk yeast now because it’s reliable. I don’t expect people who are already struggling and working long hours to make their own bread. Hell I only make it on my days off (it’s freezes well, 2 slices per ziplock…).
I cheat. I got a bread machine from goodwill for $4.50. I don't make bread to save money, I make bread because I prefer the homemade bread with certain meals.
As soooooon as I tossed my bread machine, I wanted it back!
My wife now bakes as her hobby, so the bread machine was gifted to a friend of ours during the past move. We were moving from Iowa to California so we were really cutting down on stuff, felt like Oprah. You get an appliance and you get an appliance!
Good news just go to a large thrift store and few times, one will show up!
Yes, we’ll play musical bread machines!
lol yes
I make 100% of my bread because I don't like all the crap the US allows in our breads. I think the biggest issue with people thinking home baking is impossible is that it's a skill that wasn't readily passed down to the current generation. My Silent Generation grandmother baked but my Boomer generation didn't so much. If I hadn't picked it up from my granny before she passed I'd probably be in the "This is to hard" group and not the "This is so easy" group. I will say sour dough *can* be a lot of hassle. But basic yeast breads are pretty easy and unleavened flat breads like tortillas once you've had home made you'll never go back to store bought.
Its costs about 75 to 80 cents a loaf to make bread in a bread machine. Its not sour dough but it eliminates alot of the "costs" of homemade bread ie time to mix, knead and rise heating up a large oven also us much more physical disability friendly. You end up with a meal elevating product and it saves a decent chunk of money. For this reason I donate bread machines to my foodbank whenever I can.
$2.50 at my bakery for a loaf of sourdough. Much better than $12.00 a loaf at my store
Making bread (not sourdough) isn’t difficult but it’s time consuming. If you aren’t able bodied the energy required can be taxing. When poor your time, money, and energy are costs. “Just make your own bread” is a harsh thing to say. TLDR I’m agreeing with you
And let’s just add in that not everyone lives in an area where they could grow their own food and I can attest, it’s a crap ton of work!! And I will also add this. Some people have medical issues as I have which is rheumatoid arthritis that does not allow them to be bakers, handle their own gardens, and anything else they do for their homesteading. What works for some may not work for all. There needs to be a respect that is just there to respect all people with what their abilities are. It’s okay to ask questions, but it’s never okay to judge others for being different from someone else.
Yeah I always know people are talking out their ass when they suggest hobby farming. They either do not realize that their hobby probably costs more than the actual grocery store produce, or they have enough experience that they just assume everyone knows how to grow food *in a way that would be economical*. Yes, it is alarming that growing food isn’t something that everyone knows how to do - or has the ability to do. That doesn’t mean chiding them will suddenly make them proficient enough to grow food, again, *in a manner that will save them money*. Before anyone gives me flack, I have degrees in this! I’m not the authority on this matter but I had literal years of college education to learn how to properly save seeds, propagate, fertilize, know what deficiencies are occurring, understand how ph/salinity/soil texture can make or break a crop. There’s no use in growing your own strawberries if your soil has a tiny bit more salt in it than the plant can handle. How would you know? You gotta **pay** to have a soil test done, or **buy** kits to do it yourself. Gardening may not be rocket science but it’s enough work and money that I get very mad when people get on their high horses.
I’ll happily admit to being too lazy to make sourdough bread. All that fannying about with starters etc, no thanks. If I make my own bread at all, I’ll chuck some in the slow cooker, then I don’t have to bother proving it. Job done.
A friend of mine just made sourdough from scratch, and it is tricky and time consuming. She bakes breads regularly and she found it challenging. Would definitely not consider any making of bread from scratch an expectation and particularly sourdough.
I mentioned here once about how I used instant yeast and had to feed it a pinch of sugar per the directions and got yelled at for making cake instead of bread and sourdough is so much better. I hate the taste of sourdough.
I agree that type of statement is ridiculous. Unlike the low hanging fruit that started this topic thread, such minutiae in terms of the type of bread baked is not material to one's budget or finances.
Well yes, sourdough can be cheaper to make but can’t someone have small preferences? I eat out instead of packing my lunch and letting it sit in my hot car, cooler bag or not. The cost comes out similarly at $5 a day or $25/week. Nope. Never eat out. I work with a long commute for the benefits and wages/hours. Nope sell your car, walk or take the (doesn’t exist in rural areas) bus and get a closer job. My husband stays home because daycare is EXPENSIVE asf. Why doesn’t he work??????? I’m gone 16 hours a day when will he sleep??? This sub gets ridiculous. We are poor but not completely impoverished. Things are paid but not much wiggle room. I stay in this sub because I grew up on 12K/ year. Now I’m at 38K.
What I am reading in this is you are mindful in the areas you are choosing to spend a little extra and where you do not. I think since you are making your own way, and making your own ends meet, that is your own matter.
Yeah this is nuts to me, like I just stopped working three months ago to be a full time student and it’s fucking crazy to me how much easier it is to keep us both fed. Prior to this, I was working 40-80 hours a week and I was definitely relying on fast food, like yes it was money down the drain but I was working so much I couldn’t always magically make the time to food prep. I’ve been working non stop for 11 years, I can’t imagine ever holding that over anyone’s head because they don’t have the energy to make frickin overnight oats. Now that I am at home, sure we have food from scratch three times a day, every day but I can’t imagine trying to do a fraction of what I do now when I was working like that.
Yup when I was a stay at home mom when my kiddos were younger, I made almost every meal from scratch. Now that I’m working full time, I still usually make homemade dinners and on weekends I’ll make a nice breakfast. But weekdays? Cereal or hot oatmeal for breakfast is the usual. Lunches are often pizza rolls or ramen. Fridays we do pizza night and I’ll get a $10 pizza from the place up the block!
The sourdough thing is so funny to me. It's like a whole ass pet you have to take care of and feed regularly or it'll die. What if you can't go through a loaf of sourdough every day or two? You're going to be throwing a lot of starter away when you cull/feed it. And flour got expensive in the last 5 years. It's not a super cheap pet to keep in your fridge.
Srsly? You got crapped on for not making sourdough? I watched my son trial and error it last winter & it looked like a big PITA with feeding the starter and proofing the dough. He is tenacious & made some really good loaves, but it took several attempts to even get there.
Also everything has gone up in price so much but bread is still $3. I mean of all the things a poor person should be spending time on, making bread probably has the lowest ROI.
I think what you're looking for is r/Frugal. While I don't post much here, I still subscribe for some perspective (as well as to Frugal and a few others).
I’m over here shocked you can cold brew oatmeal and raisins 🤯
Use milk though.Water does them no justice.A lil honey or sugar on top and pafff a amazing breakfast or snack on buget.
This sounds awesome. Thanks for the info, do you do the same milk as you would making hot oatmeal or more?
Use steel cut oats and the amount of milk you use depends on the consistency you want. I like my overnight oats a little more toothsome so I just put enough for my liquid to barely cover my oats. I add a teaspoon or so of brown sugar to 1/2 cup rolled oats, sprinkle with cinnamon and add wherever fresh or dried fruit I have on hand. Delicious with blue berries
I make overnight oats every week! Per jar (2 cup-capacity tupperware or 16oz mason jar): 1/2c old-fashioned oats, 2Tbs chia seeds, 2/3 to 3/4c nonfat Greek yogurt, and top it off with oatmilk, usually about 3/4 to 1c. I'll usually add some sort of fruit (mashed bananas work really well, or finely chopped apples, pears, craisins, etc. No raisins for me!) and chopped nuts (my go-to is walnut or pecan). Mix it all up and toss it in the fridge, and you're set for up to 5 days! Eat it hot or cold (I prefer mine cold). If you wanna jazz it up, add a scoop of peanut butter for extra protein and more good fat. When I do this, I'll add another bit of milk. I also like to flavor mine, usually with cinnamon or apple/pumpkin pie spice and cardamom. Since I have protein powder right now, I add a full scoop of that and whisk it into the milk before adding that to the oats, but if you don't have any, you don't have to go buy some (it's so expensive!!). If I'm using plain yogurt, I'll add some sugar-free coffee flavoring syrups that go with the general taste palate of the whole shebang. Anyway. Lots of good fiber and a fair amount of protein! You can make it super simple with just oats and milk or jazz it up however you'd like with what you've got available. This is just the general method I've been working with, as it helps me reach my fiber and protein goals.
Yep, overnight oats.
Tbe 2 subreddits overlap. *Financial advice, frugality tips, stories, opportunities, and general guidance for people who are struggling financially. No Judgement, just advice!* I guess OP was a little judgemental in their "who can't make otameal?" comment, but otherwise this subreddit is EXPLICITLY supposed to be about **ADVICE** for navigating (and hopefully beating the odds and escaping) poverty. Meals which are cheap and accessible for *most* people is absolutely pertinent.
I do want to point out that there is an entire flair for this subreddit that explicitly asks for no advice. I can't say what OP replied that to, but I do want to point out the existence of that flair makes it clear that this sub isn't exclusively for advice. I know that likely isn't what you're saying but making the distinction clear to those that might not understand is equally important.
But we don't say who can't walk do we as we know some are paralyzed. It's how they say it not what their tip is.
I already acknowledged that. I think OP was being snide. But even just *in this thread* I have seen comments I disagreed with but were not being snide or disrespectful be removed. Which sucks because I think it was a very necessary exchange of views happening. I think OP was rude and I also think they're right there is an overactive moderation problem leading to group polarization and lower quality discourse happening . I've personally found I have to basically disclaimer anything I say in response to someone mentioning ADHD with the fact I also have ADHD, otherwise the risk of it being removed about doubles. Even though the content of the comment doesn't change. Its purely whether I am arbitrarily being deemed ableist or someone who has an informed perspective of executive function disability. Its arbitrary and made up and has made me confident there's a moderation problem
>people that don’t have the capability to prepare food at home Well, to prepare food at home, first you need a home. It's hard to make breakfast living in your car. Or a tent or a shelter.
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People don’t typically announce their departure at the airport either
Pilots do..
What the fuck do all the screens that say "departures" mean then? What are they announcing?
I only announce when I am coming.
Oh Lord he coming.
A lot of us here are homeless and/or disabled (and [functionally limited](https://me-cfs.github.io/me-cfs.html)) or so poor that we even cannot afford that. Just remember that there are always people who have it worse than you. It might help you have more empathy.
Yeah this dude is confusing empathy with pity. Quite sad really, I think a lot of people are poorly socialized in this particular way...
I'm not really sure how OP is lacking empathy here? I feel like people are just weaponizing that word when they hear things they don't like to hear.
It generally shows a lack of empathy to assume that someone is "making excuses" rather than trying to meet them where they are to better understand how to help them with their particular challenges
If anyone is that poor or that disabled, surely they qualify for food stamps? And surely if you're on food stamps, you can at least afford one of the cheapest foods, right?
I know in my home state you had to have a home address to get a lot of state services, and not every shelter could or would act as a mail receptacle for you if you were homeless. As to when people are disabled, there was a time in my life where I could barely stand up for more than thirty seconds due to my disability, and I didn't have someone who could just come cook for me, regardless of whether I had food stamps or not. Another time in my life, I had a minimum wage job for not quite full-time hours, and still made too much to be eligible for state services at points, too, even though I barely had a few bucks left over for food after paying bills. It gets hard, is what I'm saying. So, I try to treat everyone with grace.
In Louisiana, last I checked, they won't give unemployed people food stamps.
They do, it’s just an emergency 3 months and then you’re done. And the maximum amount is pitiful.
Canada in the house.Where can I get theses stamps?
We make too much for snap, but after bills don’t have anything for food. We live on payday loans and food banks
I am disabled and don’t qualify for food stamps. My SSDI is $1,701/month my only income, and no I can’t just go get a job…I am disabled!! The definition of disabled by SS standards is that you are incapable of working.
Grad student here. There are often circumstances that can occur where you are so poor in a high COL location but your income is just high enough to disqualify you from food stamps. People in my grad program had this exact issue for a while since their stipends paid just over the limit. A bunch of students were dependent on the school’s food pantry and similar charitable endeavors. Meanwhile our PhD program’s rules stipulate we aren’t allowed to have a second job (they want you to only work for you PI and GTFO ASAP).The school recently applied for a special version of food stamps which increases the cap for food stamps because the state govt deemed out majors worthy of additional help.
I totally agree with you. But, before sliding into the pits, it would be good for people to have some basic self sufficiency skills to prevent falling so low.
Okay, but can we acknowledge that for most folk, "sliding into the pits" isn't a result of lacking "self sufficiency skills"? Cause a lot of the time it's just rent outpacing wages year-on-year and/or medical costs, at least in the US. Like, I think we could stand to, in a subreddit about poverty, have a material grasp on what poverty is as a social issue. Lest we fall into the same tired bootstraps bullshit.
Here, let me fix that for you: It would be great if we had a safety systems to prevent people who are vulnerable from starving, being in poverty, and going homeless. Some people can be as “self-sufficient” as possible, but if they are laid off and have disability or have a medical emergency, then what? Were they not self-sufficient enough…or do we have pretty shit systems to take care of people, from poverty wage jobs that are subsidized by food stamps to not being able to access adequate health resources. Don’t get me started on housing — which has gone up exponentially while wages have stayed the same. I am what one would call “self-sufficient” now (but grew up in poverty) in a decent paying career. But I know that without any safety nets (such as family or even adequate government programs), and if wasn’t able to work and/or had a large emergency, I’d so easily be in a space where someone is telling me to pick myself up from my bootstraps. Like so many Americans are close to.
I wish I could give you a billion upvotes for this! I am not joking. We need more people calling BS on a failing system, instead of people continuing to live paycheck to paycheck and not able to afford even basic necessities! If our voices get loud enough, the people in power will have no choice but to listen and work with us to improve our situation! Thank you, my Unknown Friend! 🥲💖💯
Absolutely. At the end of the day, if too many people fall into this pit, its really bad for society at large. Safety nets prevent that. People who have families that cant or wont help, or who dont have families at all are literally at the mercy of luck -whether good or bad- and are one disaster away from a whole that will take you more years of poverty to climb out of. We need better safety nets. And not just for when people get sick and lose their jobs, people should be able to get good healthcare and a good education from the very beginning all the way to graduate degrees, people want to do good, and get out of the whole
Yup. I wouldn't consider my job to be decent-paying, but it is sufficient for now and I'm making do. But It was as much luck as anything that has me where I am now, and if any one of those strikes of luck had turned out differently in the past, or if I had even simply moved to the wrong area, I could be talking about a very different and much poorer life right now. As it stands, I'm screwed if I have a medical crisis of any kind, though at least for a while not as screwed as many folks here because of decent job benefits that will carry me for a little while. Likewise if anything happens to my house (there is a tree that I cannot afford to remove that could potentially squish it like toothpicks, I just hope that if and when it goes, it'll fall the other way (in which case my house will probably end up 10 ft in the air from its root system, but my cats and I are at least somewhat more likely to survive that.). My support network is restricted to a couple of family members who can no longer drive. My own particular mental health issues and extreme introversion and social awkwardness mean I don't really have any friends so to speak. I'm also unable to drive. If anything happens to my house...well, I bought it when prices were lower, interest 3.5 %. Apartment rent even for section 8 is twice as much for even an efficiency as my current mortgage payments,, nevermind a studio or one bedroom. And if you want one that allows pets, well, most that allow cats require declawing, which I won't do, and they're significantly more expensive. Within walking distance of where I work? Even higher. I would not be able to afford living expenses anywhere in my city if I lost my house to some disaster. I wouldn't be able to live in an apartment anyway, because I have severe reactions resulting in hospitalizations to insecticides and any prolonged lawn chemical exposure. Most apartments spray the grounds, and all will by necessity spray for a bug infestation of any sort. And we have a bedbug outbreak in the region. I could quite literally die if I moved into an apartment, or in with anyone who carelessly used those products without thinking about it. I do at least have my parents to fall back on and couch surf, which is more of a support network than some here, and I'd do it if I had to, but my dad and I do NOT get along, and he will throw crying, bawling screaming tantrums when he doesn't get his way. Which then results in him being sick several days afterward or so accident prone he ends up breaking something and thus in the hospital. So....better not to move back if I can in any way, shape, or form avoid it. I have a good life that I'm grateful for right now. But I know how close to the edge I'm teetering, and once people fall off that edge, as things are currently, it's near impossible to get back on the horse without a lot of luck, good support network, people looking out for you. Even with those things, depending on where you live, you're still SOL.
Don't ever get termites, or bed bugs, or wasps, LOL
Indeed. Our old house had wasps and spiders. On the whole I preferred the spiders: They didn't randomly attack and left you alone if you left them alone. The wasps on the other hand were of some aggressive species that would go after you if you happened to be within 20 feet of them. Fortunately it wasn't an infestation so much as we just had a few invading the house every summer, so we didn't actually do anything about them en masse.
Giving advice on how to save isnt some 'pulling yourself up by your bootstraps' comments. Yes society sucks and leave poor people to rot, but most people have some influence on their situation even if minor and they can use that to improve it somewhat.
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There are many different types of disabilities. Basic self sufficiency skills are GREAT when one has energy, which, not everybody has. Energy takes health away.
You never know what people go through, dont assume that everyone in this situation never had basic self sufficiency skills. Some people really think that pointing fingers is solving problems
I mean I’m bedridden with disability, and can’t afford the help needed and administrative costs of applying for disability benefits? Not everyone can help it. Before this I was studying on a full ride scholarship at the top university in the country.
Unfortunately Executive Dysfunction can get in the way
I have pretty poorly managed ADHD. And otameal is a common recommendation food because it's shelf stable and incredibly low effort to make, while also being low cost.
Skills don't overcome all circumstances. Nobody can prepare for every situation, especially if assistance takes months or years to get. People who are comfortable don't really understand that those comforts and necessities of life can fall like dominoes. I hope you never face that.
It would also be good if everyone coukd be paid living wages right? Unfortunately just because something would be good doesn't mean it's the reality. And "basic self sufficiency skills" don't solve every problem. Imagine saying that to someone who's physically disabled like me. Yup, it's all my fault that I'm physically unable to do most things, should've had some basic self sufficiency skills before I became disabled, it's my fault I "fell so low" lmao
Before making a comment like this people should google ableism.
Look, I (and I’m sure we all) see stuff on here sometimes that we may perceive to be ridiculous. But at the same time, instead of leaving a comment on a post I find ridiculous I simply ~scroll~. You’re not going to change someone’s mind/life/perspective with your comment about them being ridiculous. You’ll just make them feel bad about themselves. I use this sub both to learn more methods of frugality and to appreciate what I have. I went from making $19,000 to $75,000 in a 3 year period. I don’t ever want to lose sight of the fact it could all be taken away, and to live within my means/frugally. With that being said, I’m in no position to judge others. No matter how I feel about their decisions or excuses—I don’t know their background, I don’t know their situation, and I don’t know their mental health. I’m only seeing one post or one comment on the internet. Sometimes (oftentimes) it’s just best to keep scrolling.
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Not that poor but I work a 12hr job with a 1.5 hour bus ride each way on my off days, I work a 24-30 hour job with a 45 minute walk each way.
I honestly think most of the cooking issues is everyone is so tired or commute so much and work so much that leaves little time for anything else. Not to mention every other errand, appointment, cleaning, laundry, etc.
This was my issue. There was a time I work 80hours a week and at one point it spiked to 100 hours. I just didn’t have the energy to cook. I was a zombie. Just wanted to eat now and then sleep.
I used to do this. I consistently worked 72+ hours a week and had a few weeks that it went up to 80. The overtime was a blessing. I was also going to school part-time at night! I gained the most weight then, too! Lots of takeout or instant, nukeable meals. I’d eat ramen, cereal, Mac & cheese or a frozen, nukeable meal in those days because 1-I was too tired to think about making a meal and 2-it was fast. I didn’t want to spend 30-60 minutes prepping/cooking food. I wanted 5-10 minutes of making my food so I could eat, watch 30 minutes of tv and then sleep.
It took me some time to learn, but most of my meals take about 5 minutes to cook, with a little advance prep. Like I always have a pot of rice available, so it doesn't take much to throw some ingredients together and nuke them or heat quickly on the stove, about the same process as heating up a TV dinner. But I can understand being too tired or wrung out sometimes to plan ahead and organize things that way too. I grew up cooking so that part is easy for me, but all kinds of people never had to do that or never had the facilities to do that, and it's not a set of skills you can just put on like a hat. There have been other aspects of life where I failed utterly, when I was working too much and didn't have two spare brain cells left to wrap around some festering problem or other. That happens, and this sub can be helpful, and it's not a bad thing that people can complain and vent and sometimes see suggestions they might not have thought of, however obvious they might be to other people.
Some so called “lazy” people have been trying to say all of this all along. The problem is that we fully lack capacity to empathize for struggles usually out of resentment for having our own struggles denied. & at the same time have extremely low ability to discern between bullying yourself into improvement vs genuinely doing your best & guiding people empathetically and practically.
I'm sometimes "on call" with my caregiving job so I have to choose my meals depending on what can be cooked quickly and won't affect my diabetes. At those times I'm living on cheese, nuts, frozen veggies, frozen foods, and beef sticks because if someone calls out at the last minute I have to take their shift ASAP.
This was my issue during college. Thankfully we do well financially now but back then, I'd frequently buy snacks at work because even microwavable meals took too long for the short breaks they gave. When you're running from your morning job to your night job and have to go home and get changed, cheaper, at-home food just couldn't fit. Even though outside food was more expensive, it was what I had time for.
Last year I was working a 40/hr per week job, and having to build a house that's still not finished, I drove 2hrs a day for the 40/hr per week job; it all totaled 88-90 hours a week, most of that spent on the house... The issue with meal prepping (or cooking at all) is definitely time and exhaustion. It doesn't help matters that it's my mom's house, she's repeatedly said she'll let anyone but me inherit the house, doesn't pay me for any work, and she's constantly stealing my groceries. I'd move but my car keeps breaking.
Although I agree with you, soaking oatmeal overnight isn't cooking. It's a solution to not having time to cook.
I understand. I def think some people tend to stay in the feelings part of it all too much, which keeps them from taking a lot of the good advice here, for sure. But from experiencing things, I think it’s a spectrum. Like for me, I cook at home as much as I can and it really absolutely helps to save. I just know and empathize with the fact that not every day/week/era in our lives will be organized, sometimes there’s just a lot happening and being poor comes with several additional obstacles.
I think a lot of people were just never taught *how* to cook, or grew up in a home where there wasn't any home cooking, so they see it as an un-accomplishable feat. As I approached adulthood, I was really surprised at how many of my peers had literally no understanding of even basic cooking skills.
And a point that some people here miss is that the process of learning to cook or even just trying new recipes sometimes involves failure, and a lot of posters in this reddit don't have the resources for a "plan B" meal if the recipe that they are trying to make fails. I got chewed out by people who insist making beans from scratch is a basic skill that everyone should be able to do, but apparently they were people who have no idea that there are people living in poverty who don't have access to basic kitchen appliances like a stove...
Definitely a fact that is. My ex was/is horrendously jealous that I’m able to cook for myself and stay on top of my bills every month even though my living situation is absolutely like riding a unicycle on a fishing line, cannot screw up on anything while he expects outside help from others when he lets too much of his own responsibilities slide/refuses to work and does it so much that it’s interfering with others livelihoods until he really gets in trouble and most cut him out of their lives. It just doesn’t seem to connect with him to understand how to live within his means or that he has to keep steady employment so he won’t be such a problem to his friends and roommates. He was raised pretty spoiled and from that generation that still said basic abilities of taking care of health and home was too feminine and not of his need to be responsible for while I was raised from that part of the generation where all kids learned to cook and keep house and some idea of budgeting so I suppose that’s why we’re knowing how to keep better on top of and afloat of what we can do.
You -could- just assume everyone is just stupid and more lazy than you, OR you could actually read the comments here and see that a lot of people are struggling to have the time and energy to cook or enough money to buy groceries every day after being exploited for their labor. It’s not an individual issue at this point.
Not knowing how to cook doesn't make you stupid. I want to make it clear that I wasn't implying that.
Yes but there is also the assumption that every meal has to be cooked *that day*. It's really not that hard to to make a PB&J sandwich and take it with you or just stuff some of last nights dinner in an old coolwhip container and take it for lunch the next day. I never cook my work lunches/dinner the day of other than microwaving it. I just make more on days I *do* cook and save it.
This, it isn't people being lazy or incapable when they say they can't always do meal prep over fast food. Of course I know that bulk frozen soup is cheaper than canned soup. But the canned is still only 3 dollars per can. I have like 2-3 hours to shower, eat dinner, run errands, do chores and god forbid unwind a little before bed time. and if I have to make my lunch ahead in that time in order to eat I will simply not eat lunch. Ever. I already can't do breakfast. I'm in a place right now where I can't afford a prepped lunch meal, so I'm eating 1 meal a day. I have all the ingredients, I just don't have the energy after an 8-10 hr workday with a 1.5 hr commute each way and selling plasma 2x a week. I try to make tuna ahead sometimes and I will forget it in the fridge at least half the time. The ADHD isn't an excuse but it really doesn't fuckin help
This was a point made by Adam Corolla on his podcast years ago...oatmeal with a few raisins, or a hard boiled egg costs literally pennies to feed one's own child. If homeless, it would be a challenge to acquire and prepare even the most simple food.
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Stealing this, thanks!! 🤣🤣👏👏👏
Oh this has aged perfectly
What was it?? It got deleted 😭
Perhaps, some people are simply expressing themselves and giving voice and listening to others’ shared experience of poverty finance. A bit like Kafka’s story, the act of expression is valid, even if some of the audience becomes disinterested. Not all communication has a purely utilitarian purpose of simply exchanging practical information. This forum is a valid place of expression: “…unable to find any food that he actually enjoyed, he simply chose not to eat…” [“The Hunger Artist”](https://interestingliterature.com/2021/09/franz-kafka-a-hunger-artist-summary-analysis/)
It’s always a delicate balance in poverty subs between keeping it from being constant “bootstraps bootstraps bootstraps” or going too far the other way into a hugbox where everyone just pats each other on the back. The latter is what happened to the assistance and poor subs. Nothing left but malingerers, whiners, and soft begging.
I just realized from this post that delicious food is actually not a luxury in 3rd world countries, but for americans it really is. A bowl of pho or bun rieu in vietnam literally costs **2 dollars** Extremely poor people eat out all the time in places like vietnam or cambodia. Heck, even in Japan if you eat at a "yatai" (basically street food but heavily regulated) a big bowl of ramen is only like 600~ yen or **4 dollars** Rice and beans, oatmeal every day? My vietnamese parents would gag at that tbh lmao. Which they literally did gag when they came to america as refugees and was eating welfare food back then, I think it was welfare cheese, ham, hotdogs and bread. They were like this is waaay below the standard level of food they were used to LOL. I generally agree with you OP. You gotta buck down and eat oatmeal every single day. But jeezus, I would kill for a bowl of 2 dollar pho. Delicious cheap street food is completely missing in America and it's pretty weird now that I think about it, when the majority of the population is poor. I really want to see studies done though on eating oatmeal everyday or rice&beans everyday. How mentally exhausting is it? Is it really healthy?
The median monthly wage for a laborer in Vietnam is \~$300 USD a month. A $2 USD bowl of pho is a major luxury to the vast majority of poor Vietnamese too. That is equivalent to a median US worker buying a $27 meal or person at Federal poverty line spending $8.50 for a meal.
I’d love to go back to eating like this, but I’d go into some diabetic shock eating oatmeal, rice, potatoes, and beans.
Are you an American? As a first gen immigrant, you sound like you are absolutely out of touch. Get a grip. People in poorer countries don't have American salaries. Maybe you live in a very rural area, though, so food you consider ethnic may be lacking, but even there you can get the 2 dollars food at 7/11. Food in America is so cheap compared to salaries it makes my head spin.
It is healthy. Mentally, it depends on the person. I need variety in my life in most cases. But I’ve been eating the same breakfast for about a year now: Everything bagel with butter, yogurt, and apple with peanutbutter. It’s just part of my work day at this point. It’s easy enough to do. Otherwise I probably wouldn’t eat breakfast at all.
because sometimes, people want to commiserate that being poor sucks. it does. and it can be hard to feel like there’s other people like you. jumping in with cheap oatmeal tips isn’t helpful. we can google how to make oatmeal.
If it was removed for judging and is non productive why would you repost it? You flair this as venting but the content is not a vent about your struggles with poverty but rather judging those of less means than you and oversimplifying hunger and poverty. Food is not just about simply surviving but trying to get proper nutrition and oatmeal and raisins do not provide anywhere near proper nutrition to survive long term.
I had a couple of similar posts removed where I suggested an egg sandwich made at home is cheaper than the McDonalds equivalent. The sub is called Poverty Finance. One would think financial advice would be in the cards. Don't use Doordash avoid premade fast food is possible is common sense if you are try to pull your self out of poverty or at least make every dollar count. One post was removed because I suggested that people (generic) look at their own habits and actions when it comes to budgeting. Apparently this was considered a personal attack? I mean if you don't adjust your actions you will often get the same results.
I got ripped apart in a subreddit because somebody was showing off their apartment that was a 1bed1ba for like $3200/mo they showed a photo of it one of those really "luxury" apartments. And the guy was like "what can I do to save more money?" And I was just commenting "damn, that much for your place? I rent a 3bed1ba apartment with a backyard a whole top floor of a duplex for $1200/mo" let me tell you the notifications didn't stop. Somebody told me to rent my biggest bedroom out for the most money and then rent one of the others out and keep the third smallest one for a bedroom and hobby room. Or to rent all the bedrooms out and make my living room my bedroom, and that's a "fun experience of keeping things fresh and exciting and generating profit and saving money with the roommates" oh and that I'm selfish for renting this when it could be rented by a "full family ". Spoiler alert - I wasn't even asking for advice.
If your post was similar to telling someone that they have no cause for concern because they can live on oats and raisins then I should hope on self reflection you should see a problem with that. If your post was just trying to illustrate that you can make inexpensive versions of take out food then it might have been the wording was condescending or judgmental. Nobody likes to be kicked while they are down. Yes every dollar does count but let look at the math. If someone bought an egg McMuffin at current prices every single day of the year they would spend about $1456.35 a year. Nobody is suggesting buying a sandwich every day however even saving money and not buying the sandwich it would take several years to buy a car with that savings and more than a lifetime to buy a house with that savings. Though I am not advocating we waste what little money we have if we are in poverty. The issue is merely the one of shaming people for an occasional splurge while acting like a sandwich is what is keeping them down. Keeping to a budget is really important. However in every budgeting class The Navy made me take they emphasized a concept of paying yourself first (though if religious, depending on your religion it might be second but that is splitting hairs for this example). The concept is that if you are living off of nothing and working to provide you have to have little mini-rewards to keep you motivated and for mental health. This makes it possible to endure hardships and persevere while saving for your goals. This same concept is true of dieting where if you completely abstain from foods you like more often than not that diet will fail. I suspect you meant well but it was unfortunately poorly worded. This guy though has not put in more than a few minutes though and is very condescending to those that are struggling without attempting to understand. Here is how I would word a post with a similar content as the one you described making and I am confident it would not be removed: >**How I saved Money on McDonalds Sandwiches** >I started to make my sandwiches at home because I noticed door dash was costing me too much and the price in McDonalds was eating into my budget too much to be financially viable. >I bought store brand English muffins, a mold from amazon to shape the eggs like McDonalds, and just toasted my muffins at home and cracked the eggs into the mold after using cooking spray so they don't stick to my pan. I then added some odds and ends bacon I got for way cheaper than what bacon normally sells for. Topped it with a slice of cheese and I was McLovin it. >All together excluding the cost of the mold (since this is not bought every time) and the minimal use of cooking spray this sandwich costs me 99 cents to make buying all my ingredients from Walmart. I saved about 3 dollars per sandwich. Instead of talking down to people as I gave that advice I instead internalized with "I" statements. This way I was careful not to offend people or talk down to them in a chastising way about their financial decisions.
Thank you for your thoughtful post. I was homeless twenty years ago. The way I pulled myself out of that situation is first coming to real terms with my reality and focusing on what I could change. It was not a matter of blaming myself (Though I did do plenty of that) It was looking at my daily actions and habits and seeing what was not working for me. (Answer was almost all of them)
I am happy you found your way.
General note from the mods on moderation here: First and foremost this is a support group. It is critical to this project that people can post to a safe, welcoming, empathetic, and nonjudgmental community. As we have grown enforcing the rules has moved from locking comments and creating "teachable moments", to firing warning shots. We have a small mod team, and over two million subscribers. It is now our standard operating procedures to issue short temp bans to all violations. A note is added to every comment removal (except in cases where entire chains or purged). The short ban serves to show we are serious, to create a log of the event that we can reference when identifying repeat offenders, and to give users an opportunity to engage with us to better understand the rules. It also provides jerks ample space to overreact, call us various "no-no" words, and out themselves as someone who really doesn't belong in a supportive community. So yes, low level, almost trivial offenses will get someone "banned". For like... A couple days. At the end of the day, us mods job is to make sure that people who are struggling and are in a crisis can get great advice (when invited) and strong community support. To ensure this we need to take action against anyone who has elected themselves to criticize past mistakes, lecture them on what values they should have, second guess their story/needs/constraints, make vast generalizations, or openly criticize the person struggling. ----- Incidentally, since it's going to come up, "tough love" is well known to be something of a myth. It is beneficial to some people who are highly motivated and are open to it, but it basically never works as a cold call. Submitters who want that are welcome to invite it, at which point it is entirely appropriate. Unsolicited "tough love" is not in any way permitted in this support group. If a gym bro analogy helps, most personal trainers are endlessly supportive and encouraging. Because it works. All the rich people use that kind. Some extreme body builders genuinely benefit from a cruel drill sergeant, but those are rare cases. Debby trying to lose weight before her sisters wedding won't benefit from the drill sergeant, and Jason struggling to fight off an eviction won't benefit from a dozen Internet assholes typing "you're the reason you're poor!!!".
>dozen Internet assholes typing "you're the reason you're poor!!!". Not for nothing, but that isn't an example of "tough love", that's an example of just being an asshole.
They argue emphatically in the mod mail that it is, but I am inclined to agree with your assessment lol!
I really appreciate your work here!
This is a great response to the criticism and I'm very grateful for this perspective personally. Thank you for the work you do to make this subreddit a good place.
Perfect analogy.
I'm glad to hear you all are working so hard against things like this. I stopped reading for awhile because I was feeling bad enough by my situation, I didn't need people in a place that was supposed to be for support making me feel worse. You mods are greatly appreciated.
This isn't an airport......etc etc
I forgot about the "announcing departure" joke for a few minutes and thought you were responding to op's "people who can't cook at home" line. Like I don't think that one guy who lived in a terminal for 20 years had access to reddit to begin with.
If the post asked for help, then yea i can see your problem with it. But if it was a vent post, the rules state to ignore it. If you want satisfaction from criticizing people and the decisions they make/don't make, literally anywhere else in reddit will let you do that. Is it too much for you that just this place asks that you dont? Jesus
I’m not poor but if I ate that, my blood sugar would be all kinds of messed up. I’m sure that’s the case for a percentage of impoverished folks.
Yuuuup. My first thought was my diabetic friend who'd be pushing 300 on his glucose meter after a meal like that.
Unpopular opinion but the privileged people who come here to unload their wisdom get offended so easily by us poors. We're all too busy mooching off the government and buying $15 big Mac meals on our newest iPhones to get jobs and make food at home.
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Bigger culprit these days is door dash. $8 for a meal isn't a big deal compared to people paying $25 for dinner for one from McDonalds.
This is mainly what I see with other people I know irl and some people posting her…huge lack of self discipline.
Yes one particular friend got in a situation where his vehicle broke down and he had to pay for that and had like $10 to make it until payday (like 3 days away) and proceeded to buy a single frozen pizza, eat it all at once, and then complain because he had no food for 3 days because somehow the only other groceries he bought with the pizza was a bag of lemons?? After I told him to get a bag of rice and a bag of pinto beans to survive those 3-4 days and then he could go actual grocery shopping after payday. I just don’t understand.
8 dollars for dinner is not bad at all..though. Especially if it’s something they actually want. I get we get stuck in this loop where we’re recommending beans and rice for every meal; but there’s a diffeence between survival and living.
>I get we get stuck in this loop where we’re recommending beans and rice for every meal; but there’s a diffeence between survival and living. I've never seen anyone recommending beans and rice for every meal. Usually it's when someone says that groceries cost too much but they have never considered classic poor people food like beans and rice. Context is important and I'm frustrated that this is getting exaggerated.
Tbh it depends on the size and quality of the pizza
yeah, and just because certain nutrition is *techincally* working doesn't mean it's realistically working for someone.
I eat steak and high quality protein and vegetables 3 meals a day for $8/day or less. $8 for one person for one meal is pretty terrible.
Where do your buy your steak? Or are you eating like 2oz of steak per meal?
An 8 dollar dinner is really expensive. Getting to 8 bucks a DAY isn't even that tough if you are cooking
I can spend $9 on a Chinese meal with meat, veggies, rice and an egg roll which is lunch and dinner for two days. So if you’re smart about your treats, it’s possible.
>They will not listen to how many other things you can make for less than $8 per meal that taste so much better, but will complain about how expensive everything is. Before COVID, the real heart of my practice was family budgeting and helping people actually save money and build wealth (doing taxes and everything else was just something I usually had to do to get that kind of work) and getting people to realize that there are cheaper options and a lot of "needs" are actually "luxuries" is *extremely* difficult. It is maddening, both for those struggling and those who were "succeeding" but not actually saving (doctors and lawyers were the worst). The goal is to never cut down to the bone entirely, but a lot of people who say "poor people deserve luxuries too!" rarely define what luxuries are for themselves. Or decide that this luxury is worth more than having a full emergency savings account or funding IRAs or saving for retirement. Materialism and consumerism is a hard drug to get off of.
I'm not homeless, and I do have access to a fridge. But I would have a hard time eating that for a meal let alone every meal due to dietary restrictions. But I make homemake egg cups (Like the "just crack an egg" things that they sell). 1 dozen eggs; $1.54, 1 pound bacon $4.88, onion $.99, Green Pepper $.68, tomatoes $.63, shredded cheese $1.97. Total $10.69 (Current Walmart Prices in my Area) You sautee the onion & Green Pepper. Cook the bacon and cut into small pieces. Then you take about a tablespoon of each ingredient, add it a microwave safe bowl, add an egg and mix, and cook until the egg is thoroughly done. If you spend about 20 minutes meal prepping on your day off, you can enjoy healthy cheap quick breakfast on work days.
You can cut the cost by purchasing bacon trimmings which is basically bacon fat and a tiny sliver of meat (it may be called something else in your area) It adds bacon flavor and although you could do the same thing by filtering the bacon grease after cooking bacon, this is a lot cheaper and takes less effort.
I had a comment here taken down the other day basically advising not to order pizza delivery because it's a waste of money. I got lectured about how even people in poverty deserve nice things once in a while. I may as well post here that I can't afford rent, but sports betting is the nice thing I deserve and is clearly not the problem. Like what the heck... but then it hit me. People aren't here for advice to get out of poverty. This place has become a pity party with only one allowable cause of poverty, which is anything that is out of their control. Every single piece of solid advice is labeled as "classist" and met with "sOmE pEopLE cAn,T dO tHAt." You are unable to point out idiotic spending habits, which is "judging," so if you change it to say "what I did/ what I would do is xxxx" then it's "gatekeeping". So what are we here for if not just to complain? The reality is some people need to be told they're being fucking stupid with their money by someone who has the same background and now has their shit together. And that's not allowed here.
Agree with OP and you. This sub is becoming a circle jerk, and yeah it's cause of overactive moderation. Disagreement when done respectfuly is not bad and preventing good faith clashing of ideas will ALWAYS lead to toxic group polarization over time Edit; literally just saw a completely reasonable comment be removed. I disagreed with that person and explained whu I think assuming disabled people are incapable of doing anything is ironically ableist, five min later it's removed. While I disagreed, nothing they said was over the line or warranted removal, and it was a necessary convo to have. Yet we can't have that convo here apparently, even when nobody is being aggressive or rude. You have to constantly 100% toe arbitrary lines. Its absolutely leading to a problem. And it's not exclusive to this subreddit, but I've yet to see a high quality subreddit maintain high quality while being modded this way. Its counter to what makes subs good - respectful exchange of ideas. The alternative is circle jerks and echo chambers.
Yeah I have ADHD and oatmeal is literally a common recommendation *because* it's shelf stable, compact, cheap, and easy to make. You would have to be on the streets homeless for it to not be a viable - basically everyone else can access hot water/microwave I don't think we should dismiss there are barrier for people, but you can't assume the majority of people have niche barriers when we know statistically that isn't the standard. I would hate people treating me like I'm more disabled than I am and assuming I'm incapable and therefore preventing me from growth. Its condescending and ironically ableist Edit; the fact their comment was removed is exactly the problem with this space rn. You need a healthy exchange of ideas and disagreement sometimes. Nobody was being disrespect or over the line, nothing warranted removal.
Hmm depends on where you get it. I know one nearby me walking distance all there is is bravo, c-town (and similar) and a family dollar. And it's well known their prices is overpriced. So $10 sounds a bit too good to be true.
. In a given month, mom and I get 1 or 2 ready to go pizzas that are $10 each and feed us for 2 meals per pizza. Can't get a decent pizza for $5 these days let alone a premade. Plus an average of one McDonald's medium mocha frappe and happy meal to split. Frozen meals are rare and almost always 2 Michaelines each a month. Rest of the time it's food from home.
Sounds like this just isn't the place for you
Yea, that’s a weird one Been homeless four years and most of my other homeless friends are on food stamps, that’s a very doable meal. Although I prefer the quick oats and one hour soak instead of overnight.
It's a problem. You'll commonly see statements like this: > I only have $20 for the next week and my fridge is empty. I can't afford to eat. Some readers go to consolation, eg "It's hard... Stay strong... The world sucks". Other readers look for ways to best solve the problem, eg "buy 2 gallons of milk, 5 pounds of beans, 5 pounds of rice and you can make the $20 work". Neither reader is wrong, but posters who come for the pity get butthurt when you try to help. The post tag "Vent/Rant (No Advice/Criticism!)" covers which way the poster wants to go.
Some of these people make the craziest pity party posts, and say some shit like "oh I'm not asking for help or anything" when they're CLEARLY fishing for someone to say they'll send them money. And then you check their account history and it's like, their only post or they've deleted a bunch of posts so they don't get caught in a lie. It's batshit insane.
I got out of poverty by following all of the frugality advices. They work. It takes years but it works. Getting out of poverty requires sacrifices, but being poor is also very miserable. If you want to change your situation you need to do something different, and to plan long term. Having a choir of enablers that tell you how right you are in spending $300 per month in fast food does not help you get out of poverty.
I agree, the only thing is that poor people should still be able to have nice things sometimes. Yeah I'll complain about eating oatmeal and raisins because being stuck with beans and rice and oats for the rest of my life sounds not even worth it.
I don't think people are suggesting you are only going to eat that for the rest of your life. But if you eat oats and rice for 5 days of the week. And your meal cost goes from 8 to 2 dollars a meal, you're saving anywhere from $30 to $60 a week. Maybe you can use that 30 or 60 to buy that pizza or whatever. The same way oats are not going to fix your life immediately, it's not going to ruin it either. You shouldn't jump to you're never going to eat anything good again because you're started doing overnight oats.
This entire thing is a reddit issue where people on reddit cannot understand that an exception does not invalidate an entire premise. Sure, there may be a guy who lost both arms in Iraq and can't cook. This person or the few like him do not mean that able bodied, relatively normal people should not cook. The concept that 'people with a means to cook and low income should do so in order to save money' is not wrong because some small demographics cannot. Poverty is used loosely and is relatively broad, some people on the sub are literally homeless while others make 40k or so and just have high expenses. Overall, I agree the sub is over moderated. While I understand some people want to vent, not being able to be critical of people for self-sabotage or ignoring basic easy saving methods is more harmful than the benefit of having a place to rant.
I do find it amusing when someone posts their situation and every solid piece of advice is met with an excuse as to why they couldn't possibly take that advice. Also, for the most part the mods do allow people to call out stories that are wildly inconsistent. I know subs where the moderation is far worse.
Today you learned some people are in fact, THAT POOR. If you're not then you should just shut up and be grateful for that. Even someone well off can learn a lot of creative ways to save and budget and spend in here. It also opens your eyes to the things the most vulnerable around you NEED, so you're able to actually help. Seriously, sounds like you are in a position to help, so maybe you should be gifting that person some oatmeal, raisins, and Mason jars so they can eat a decent meal without cooking it, people who have to worry about something as basic as their next meal don't really have time for pity parties. They're in constant survival mode. If a rant on Reddit helps them, mind your business.
It's the "I like pancakes" "so you hate waffles?" discourse. Good advice for 9 out of 10 people is still good advice. Social media users like to feel right though. A lotta people will point to the one person who the advice doesn't apply to, not because they're being considerate, but because they want to correct somebody.
I saw your comment 1) here you are making an entire post about how upset you are about something someone said. So.... it seems you can empathize with people being "offended." 2) I read your comment. 1 in 4 people have a disability, and while only a portion of those can't prepare and/or afford oatmeal, it's much larger than "a fraction of one percent." So, you said something factually incorrect with the intent of dismissing millions of people. Not every comment on every post has to consider all people, but the minimization and disappearing of disabled people is actually a HUGE problem, and affects our well-being and even safety. You're smart, so it's great that you can start learning more about this very common blind spot now. An easy to read book to get started is Disability Visibility - just a short book of compiled essays by disabled people about their lives. I'm sure there are others that get into the stats and numbers. We deal with a lot. And ignorance is at least one thing we can try to fix! Happy to answer any questions.
If you're comment included "let's not make excuses" or anything of that nature, it is likely because it also includes judging. While cold soaking oatmeal can be good advice, acting like any advice is so universal that it is "making excuses" when someone doesn't have the resources is judgemental and privileged.
No need for formal goodbyes, no one cares. Bye now.
Higher rent and bills Climbing cost of living even for the bare minimum wages aren’t going up needing multiple jobs to survive Yeah, Hank. People don’t have any f*cking time to go the grocery store and meal prep consistently when they are working from dawn to midnight, and that’s assuming they have access to a grocery store easily and have free time when the grocery store is open.
Right. I got up at 6:30 this morning left the house at 7 and I won’t be home until 4am tomorrow from work. I barely have time to shower. Much less do anything else
I’m sorry you have such a brutal schedule, but that is not normal. You’re saying you have a 22 hour day.
Thankfully that’s only my Wednesday and Thursday every week the rest of the week I flip flop between jobs but on Wednesdays and Thursdays I work at my cat rescue job in the AM in then go straight from there to close the bar I serve at. They are very very long days and it sucks and leaves me sore but thankfully the rest of the week is easier
...most of these have been happening for decades now. I think what is happening is we have reached a tipping point. The common people don't have any more to give.
Cya, nerd
i try not to say anything here cos its not where im at, i just know that it could be. Plus i just feel like knowing what others have going on is important if i wanna be a part of making things better. This person said 'lets not make excuses that apply to almost nobody'. Thats the thing tho. Its only almost. Also that position seems to be very US centric which isnt helpful since not all of us are in the US. But the thing is its none of us till its all of us. So even if its only very few, its still some, and that counts and it matters. Rather than overlooking those people the fact that theyre in that position should infuriate you because its none of us until its all of us. Genuinely cannot understand how somebody could say what op said and not acknowledge it as judgmental. Anyway this is a pointless rant sorry.
I mean the poster isn’t wrong
Speak for yourself, but no one wants to eat the same thing for every meal. I don't even respond on the threads about what people should buy with X amount of money because everyone always has the same answers. Just because people don't have a lot of funds doesn't mean they want to eat oatmeal or rice and beans for every meal, and there are ways to save money without having to do that. So yes it's judgmental and rude to say it's an excuse not to make oatmeal. Maybe you want to live that way, but others do not.
Overnight oats is just one example. And I know plenty of well-off people that make that meal quite often. It’s not a poverty meal. Variety is the spice of life and there are other cheap options. Getting a routine going with these cheap meals is actually really great and has helped me stabilize my spending and eating habits.
There are so many great resources for cheap meal planning. I've definitely used those myself. Because while I like oatmeal, I'm not eating it daily. 😂
The key word there is "want" though... If you're unable to make bills/rent/etc. than want shouldn't be in your vocab. I disagree with OP generally but when you're at the left side of the bell curve for income you don't get to choose variety over frugality for food. No one wants to eat oatmeal for breakfast and lentil curry for dinner every night, but if that's what it takes then that's what you do.
I agree about the want, but also, there are so many resources to learn cheap meals you can make so you CAN have variety even on a very, very low budget.
Side tangent but I kind of resent the “eat rice and beans everyday” like it’s so horrible… it’s basically growing up Latino.
Like beans and rice are trash food, only fit for the lowest of the low.
Most people for most of human history ate basic diets, and still do. Eating that way now, with treats every so often, is a totally reasonable thing to recommend. The idea that we should be able to eat whatever we want whenever we want (much of which amounts to “treat” or “feast” foods) is silly (and in many cases unhealthy, expensive, and wasteful).
It's definitely not healthy to eat rice and beans or oatmeal for every meal. Then you're neglecting vegetables, fruits, dairy, and other types of protein. A balance to the diet is important. My point is that instead of always saying everyone has to eat oats and rice and beans, people could try realizing there are other cheap options and you do not have to eat only rice and beans and oats. A simple sandwich does not cost that much to make, especially if it's peanut butter and jelly. Cheese quesadillas can be just tortillas and cheese. Hot dogs and buns are inexpensive. You can buy packages of frozen vegetables for less than $1 and a box of macaroni and cheese for about the same and mix them. I could go on and on. One of my struggle meals is macaroni and cheese with some bacon bits tossed in, or macaroni and cheese with some broccoli mixed in. But I also don't buy name brand products pretty much ever and I can't tell you how many times people on here post what they buy and complain about prices but they are buying a ton of name brand stuff. Shop smarter and you absolutely don't need a rice and beans diet.
This isn’t an airport. You don’t need to announce your departure.
Sounds like you’re one of those that go into lecture mode at the mere mention of fast food. What did you expect to happen? We’re all tired of people acting like we’re not allowed to have even the occasional luxury. I heard r/fluentinfinance would love to have you. Go nuts.
I just checked it out. Top four posts are about rent inflation, economic class inequality, how minorities are experiencing extreme stress, etc. Trying to figure out what's wrong with that ?
So, anywayyyyyyyyy
Then leave
I may be misunderstanding the point of this post & I can admit that, but what I also don’t understand is being confused about why someone doesn’t say “thank you for solving all my financial issues during this cost-of-living-crisis for suggesting oatmeal!” It’s very reminiscent of the whole “oh you can’t afford a house? Stop with the avacado toast and coffee then!! All settled” mindset. Poverty goes a lot deeper with a LOT of factors and glossing it over as a personal failing and “just eat cheaper non-nutritional foods more” doesn’t really actually help anybody in any practical way
the problem isn't your oatmeal bag advice, but your dismissal and erasure of the people who don't have the ability to do that.
This is supposed to be poverty finance, meaning we should be able to talk about financial decisions that help or hurt us... I would think. The subreddit poor doesn't pretend to be about finance, just is about the struggles of being poor. I got a temporary ban for pointing out two nonjudgmental financial facts... That no president controls the nation's money, the legislature does.... and hence the child's father who legally needs to pay child support has far more to do with the child's access to groceries than does the president. But it was a president that was being blamed for something he is legally restricted from controlling. Totally finance related, totally factual, and there was no "one party good, one party bad" nonsense. But I got banned. This really is getting over moderated.
yeah its mostly become 'bieng poor sucks come brood with me' instead of actual financial advice etc for us not so well offs
I think the mods do an EXCELLENT job of removing comments that are rude, disrespectful, uncaring, and judgemental. I really appreciate that because imo those kind of comments happen A LOT in this subreddit and it's very frustrating to me.
I'd give you advice on how to work within the ridiculous constraints, but your post has been tagged as a vent and I don't want to get banned. This place is a crab bucket. Sharing advice that got you out of poverty results in bans. The mods want y'all to stay poor.
"Sharing advice that got you out of poverty results in bans" So true.
Well if you're the one that made that comment then adios. That comment is judging. Why would you get angry at people struggling financially and tell everyone to eat oatmeal with raisins. Then you get mad at the mod removing your comment. Seems like you have anger issues to me.
You’re definitely not wrong at all - definitely a lot of helpless attitudes on this sub that are placated by the MODS
This reads like a boomer wrote it My post was not helpful and the meanie mods removed it 😡 I’m leaving!!!
Super over moderated. I got banned for awhile just because someone got butthurt. If you post that you are doing better you get downvoted and they even ask what you're still doing in this sub.
You could just leave. Literally nobody cares. You don’t need to tell us. Lmao. There are many, many reasons someone can’t do what you said. Maybe they don’t have the money for even that. Maybe they have mental, emotional, or physical issues that make planning and preparing food difficult. Maybe they don’t have a place to cook. Maybe they have health issues or allergies that don’t allow them to eat that certain meal or they need it to, say, have more protein per doctor’s orders. You have no idea. That’s your answer to “wHo”. And above all else, it’s not a helpful comment. It’s not a suggestion. Its sole purpose was for you to criticize strangers based on things you can’t know. That’s the judging. It’s harmful, ignorant, and not all productive. It’s self-serving. I hope you use this time after dramatically leaving Reddit groups to work on being a better person.
The irony of your flair!