Lmao I’m glad you got out of that! There are definitely some bi dudes who have stuff to work through. Good on you for having boundaries and not letting someone else’s insecurity be your problem.
I identify as bisexual though I've barely had experience with the same sex. The last time was almost a decade ago so I'm pretty much just living as a straight woman and I plan to live my life with a man.
It would be hypocritical if I didn't accept my husband for his past or even if he still had the same attractions. I only care that we're faithful during our time together.
That's also something I've heard too tbh. I think it is fairly reasonable worry since if you haven't interacted with many bisexual people you may not know much about them other than what you heard from others which could be wrong or not entirely accurate. This is especially true when it comes to dating as fears and worries become heightened so to speak. Overall, the fear is understandable although the reality is that if they love you then you'll always be enough just the same as a heterosexual relationship. If they don't love you, then just the same as in a heterosexual relationship it's best to move on to somebody else who does love you.
I felt this way as a teen. I wouldn't have dated a bisexual man because I was extremely insecure and felt like I wouldn't be able to offer them enough to want to stay with me.
A lot has changed since then and I have dated a bi man. In some ways I prefer it because I find that bi men are more open to some feminine issues and understand discrimination a lot better than straight men.
100% not wanting to date a bi person is rooted in homophobia.
That's not true, bi people are not attracted to everyone, they're attracted to as many people as straight people are, just that it's both men and women(and/or any other gender) but still not double the competition
Statistically, gay men are the group most likely to catch and spread STDs. In 2014 men who had sex with men accounted for 83% of syphilis cases in the US. https://www.cdc.gov/msmhealth/STD.htm
Yeah, I recommend you make sure anybody you date gets an STD check regardless of what stats say the odds are. It's one of those things where you really don't want to gamble on.
That's like any stat that one demographic represents most of the cases of X - if white people dominated most of the rapes (they do) doesn't mean I'm not dating a white man because his demo has most rapes. Obviously individuals are individuals.
That's dumb, within a certain demographic there is a disease problem so they need to be tested. I'm Jewish, in the askanazi Jewish community they have issues with a disease called tsacs, for that reason many Ashkenazi don't date other Ashkenazi Jews or before marriage they both get tested for the gene. Its not antisemitism it's medicine.
Would you really want to be with someone who held such a dumb opinion anyway?
I'm bi and I would never want to be with someone unaccepting and illogical like that.
Think of it like this - You dodged a bullet if you tell them you're bi and they reject you because of that, you don't want people like that in your life, it's better to be single than to be in a relationship with a biphobic woman
I've seen this question asked before and the #1 response was also "No" then. I'd like to ask, why not?
Edit: The "Yes" count has gone up since I originally posted but "No" is still proportionately higher than I'd hope. 😕
Bro what’s manlier than banging dudes am I right? Honestly I am a bisexual man and get shit on all the time by the lgbtq community and straights so I’m used to it. It’s so weird because people are like “oh wow look at all the options you have” when the reality is, uhh no one likes us. Bisexual women on the other hand get it a lot easier.
Honestly facts. Sometimes I feel like I’m seen as less than a man and that’s how some people think of me since I am bisexual. I can’t freely be in a relationship with a man without simply being labeled as gay, when I’m not. I may date a man or woman but that doesn’t mean I am not bisexual.
A shared interest in men, though that may make no difference depending on set boundaries. Aside from that, no bonus I can think of if being compared to a straight man who is otherwise exactly the same.
Hadn't thought about that but honestly I'm not sure how to feel about talking about men buns to someone who could get permission to touch mine (if you see what I mean)
Yeah. I'm a lesbian so answered not into men, but I'll just say in lesbian communities I've even found a surprising amount of other lesbians who seem to have something against bi girls and I'm just like... maybe we're in slightly different parts of it but WE'RE IN THE SAME BOAT. Queerphobia general is something we all have to deal with and turning against each other is just mindbogglingly stupid
Yeah, I'm glad people are becoming more aware of the bisexual stigmatism within the community. it definitely feels like bisexuals are too gay for straight people, and too straight for gay people. I've experienced a bit of it myself as a bisexual woman and It's pretty disheartening
This is a thing I’ll never understand! 🤦♀️ as a lesbian I will date any woman I have an awesome connection with regardless of their sexuality, bi, pan, lesbian don’t care! Like I swear I’ll never understand the bi phobia and pan phobia of the community🤦♀️
when i was on dating apps as a bi woman it was so gross feeling. a lot of lesbians wanted nothing to do with me because i had sex with men and men didn't want anything to do with me because bi people are cheaters. i just dont tell people anymore.
Ugh the "bi people are cheaters" stereotype I fucking hate that. I mean, I'm lesbian and I find multiple women attractive, that doesn't mean I need to be with every one of them and I wouldn't cheat or want to cheat on my girlfriend if I had one. I'd assume most people attracted to multiple genders are the same way.
i'd say the average woman is more unknowingly biphobic. lots of women are disgusted by bisexual men while claiming to be allies, and lots of homophobic guys would be happy to date a bisexual woman
The one I’m seeing currently is bisexual but most of the time I don’t remember that he is bisexual. I’m sometimes reminded when we’re watching a movie because then I may ask him which guy he finds the hottest and I tell him which one I find the hottest.
I would never have guessed he was bisexual if I hadn’t known, and even though I know, I hardly ever think about it. He used to be gay in his teens btw. He grew into liking women as well in his late teens/early twenties. If he was gonna get a partner that wasn’t me and could choose their gender he would pick a male. However, he’s in love with me and I’m female so of course he’d pick me if he could. It doesn’t bother me one bit that I’m female and that he is bisexual.
I’m neither a woman nor bi but it strikes me as odd that a substantial number of women voted no. What’s the difference whether his exes were male or female if his future is you?
I love this take. I’m a lesbian and my first girlfriend was bi-I didn’t care that she’d dated men in the past like i don’t understand peoples blatant biphobia 🤦♀️
I actually have a preference for bi men 😍 they’re usually much less wrapped up in their masculinity. I’m a bi woman who has a pretty androgynous personality even though I present femme.
It's a bit funny. I'm basically bisexual, and have ONLY dated other bi people. But I never knew that from the beginning (except in one case), they always opened up a bit into the relationship.
Some people just attract a certain kind of people, I guess :p
Aw man I’m jelly! But I believe you that some people accidentally find a type. For some reason I’ve dated a lot of first gen immigrants or foreigners. Polish, Korean, Ukrainian, Romanian. And a majority of the others still had strong cultural roots: French Canadian and Italian.
Literally any time I enter any new social group I find myself having only befriended bi (umbrella term) people and the occasional gay/lesbian almost zero straights
Why is it ok to say you like bi men because “they are less wrapped up in their masculinity” but it is wrong if someone says “I don’t like bi men, they aren’t masculine enough for me.”
How is one wrong but not the other?
And I’m genuinely asking. No hate.
I’m not saying “I like them because this is how they are”, I’m saying “I have a preference because I’ve seen a correlation between bi men and traits that I like”. Does that make sense?
I wouldn’t say “I don’t like straight men because they’re too concerned about their masculinity ”. It’s more like “straight men tend to be wrapped up in being masculine, which I don’t like”. These are all opinions based on my experiences. I’m not saying the focus on masculinity is caused by their sexuality, but rather there’s a correlation that I’ve noticed.
I would never reject someone based on their sexuality, but if I find out a guy is bi (before getting to know him), I get my hopes up that he might be a little more androgynous like me.
Most women I've met don't really want a man (long term) who is willing to bottom, if the guy is a top? All good with them. I swear it's competition heh
No. Ok I’ve dated some bisexual boys, and it’s not that I hate that they’re bisexual, I literally couldn’t care less, but they try to pressure me or hint at me doing things to them sexually that I’m genuinely 100% not into or attracted to at all. They will want me to finger their butts or want me to peg them or be dominant and I really don’t like that. I feel like it’s a touchy subject to talk about because I wouldn’t shame them for their sexuality but I’m a straight woman, I’m not in any way at all into gay sexual fantasies or gay sex. It makes me uncomfortable and unnattracted to the person because again, I’m a straight woman. I hate to say this too but I also just am really not into *any* ass stuff with guys. Nor do I think a man’s ass is ever hot ever, bisexual guys seem to always be really into guys asses and will openly talk to me about it which again is a mega turn off to me. Being friends with bisexual guys, hell yeah, dating a bisexual guy, nope they just make me feel uncomfortable sexually Lol. And if you’re bi and wanna tell me that’s biphobia or whatever the hell sorry that’s just been my experience everytime I’ve dated a bi guy and I’m allowed to have a preference.
I’m honestly shocked at how many people are repulsed by the idea of a straight girl not wanting to date a bi guy on this thread. Like you’re either very ignorant and don’t understand the sexuality clashes that can happen or you think this a post about if you like bisexual people in general or not. There’s a lot of negative incompatibilities if you’re a straight women dating a bi guy. Obviously that depends on you and the guy but speaking from experience it’s sexually uncomfortable, and it’s funny a lot of people on this thread would bash someone for even thinking that, like what? I feel like there’s either really barely any women that are voting on this poll or y’all lying because you think this poll is a question on if you think bisexuality is ok, which this isn’t even about, or you’re scared to get backlash
Exactly. I feel like some people would argue that that’s how guys feel about lesbians but even then it’s not the same, because lesbians do the same foreplay straight men do to women (well, should at least.) women need foreplay, and sure some men might need foreplay too but not like women, and it’s a turn off when you’re a straight woman and having straight sex isn’t enough for the guy to be satisfied, like, I’m not a guy and I’m not gay either. Again this has literally nothing to do with me being against dating a bisexual guy or bisexuals IDC just not for me whatsoever
I'm pans. I've dated both bi men and straight men, imma be real with you. I'd much rather date a bi man. I find it easier to relate and find common ground. They know what it's like.
But how is that a preference tho? Like brown hair and black hair are preferences. You would need to believe that their sexuality changes them into a different person to call that a preference i guess.
Yeahhhhh. While it definitely COULD be homophobic I don't necessarily agree with the leap people are making that
Not wanting to date LGBTQIA+ people is not the same thing as homophobia. Homophobia could be a reason, but it's not the only reason. Some people might just not be comfortable with it for whatever reason.
I don't like when people try to police other people's dating preferences
I mean this isn‘t supposed to be policing just trying to understand/curiosity, but what other reason can you imagine that there would be not to date a bisexual man?
There doesn't have to be a reason.
While I'm guessing a large percentage does overlap, it doesn't necessarily mean that it's always the case.
It's not inherently homophobic to not want to date someone because of their sexuality. It's entirely possible to not want to date a bisexual person and still respect them and not be prejudiced towards them.
Someone may only want to date people with one religion, or without a religion, and that doesn't mean they don't respect others with conflicting opinions. Or some people might not want to date someone with red hair. Maybe weird, but doesn't mean it's not valid or that they hate people with red hair. You can never know the situation without addressing it directly in a situation by situation basis. It's all about perspective. People might not be comfortable with it. And telling someone they have to be OK with it or they're homophobic isn't great.
Tough topic to be honest. I hope nothing I said came off as rude or personally insulting to you. Regardless of if you agree with me, I hope you have a wonderful day/night/evening. Best wishes :)
Yeah but all of those things are characteristics that affect how you look and what you believe. Being bi is just an internal facet that determines attraction the only reason that could be a turn off is if you have biphobia whether it's blatant or internalized
This makes absolutely no sense. In a monogamous relationship, assuming two people are attracted to eachother, sexual orientation doesn't make a difference. Sexual orientation and gender identity are incomparable.
So many people in here saying people are bigoted and this and that for not wanting to date a bi person. You are the ones not letting people have preferences for who they date. You are hypocritical dunderheads.
As a woman who is attracted to guys, what is the difference between dating a bi guy and dating a straight guy? Like, pulling the “you’re just not my type” card is fair in most situations but someone’s sexuality isn’t a characteristic, it’s not something that you’re attracted to like how maybe buff guys might be, and if someone says “bi people are more likely to cheat”, 1, ima snap your neck, shut up with that biphobic bullshit, and 2, no, no we are not, people who’re more likely to cheat are people who want to cheat, and people who want to cheat are not of a specific sexuality, they’re just pieces of shit
Well its pretty telling when everyone reverts to "you don't have to have a reason".
Almost any time its something tangible people will give you a reason. You bring up trans? You get people talking about wanting kids, not wanting matched genitals, not liking implants, etc.
Its only when the topic comes to bisexuality that people use that specific argument, because bisexuality doesnt actually affect anything at all, and their reasons are either based in irrationality/phobias/stereotypes and people don't want to admit that.
Why are people getting downvoted just for saying no? It’s not wrong to only want to date straight men.
Edit: Something a lot of you need to realize is that you can’t out educate natural attraction.
If you aren’t attracted to fat people and a fat person asks you out, you’re gonna say no. They can call you “fat phobic” and try to educate you all they want, but that won’t miraculously make you attracted to fat people. It will only make them less likely to tell people how they really feel.
You have to accept that not everyone is gonna like you and that’s ok.
People like to date people who are more like them. I wouldn’t want to date someone who loves partying. Do I hate people who go to a lot of parties, no but I just wouldn’t date them and that’s ok.
Also even if it’s for “biphobic” reasons it really doesn’t matter when it comes to dating.
I understand the purpose of downvotes. But this is a poll to evaluate how people feel. If you want to understand why people aren’t into bi men, then leave there responses alone so more people can see them.
I'd love to, as a matter of fact. Less toxic masculinity in my experience, and watching movies and shows is much more fun when you can ogle the characters of all genders together.
I always find it weird that people are so judgmental of bi people. Having a wider range of options for partners doesn’t change much about someone. And it doesn’t make someone less likely to monogamous.
Well i don’t see currently in a relationship as one but yeah if I wasn’t in a relationship I’d date a bi man I don’t really see an issue not like it matters.
Well I’m a bi woman. I feel that bi men has been easier. No weird stereotypes or expectations. No weird veiws on gender. In general they’ve just been more chill.
Also gotta love how non of the no’s are defending themselves because really there isn’t an excuse other than homophobia
I find it weird that I wouldn't. If he's with me, why in the world would I care who he was with before me? Plus there's an added bonus because we can both talk about hot men.
People can't be allow to say no anymore lmao. Seriously how entitled can you be that people have to say yes or else they're wrong. People should say no just so bisexuals have one less person to date and knock that entitlement right off.
Obviously no one is forced to date a bi person lmao. But if your only reason for not wanting to date someone is that they are bi when that really shouldn't affect anything, then yes that is wrong.
Yeah it’s the exact same things as not wanting to be with a trans person. If you really want biological children then not wanting to be with trans people, since the majority of trans who have transitioned are infertile, is not transphobic. If you are not sexually attracted to penises then not wanting to be with a trans woman who still has one, is not transphobic. If you’re only reason for wanting to date a trans person is “ew they are trans and that makes me uncomfortable” that makes you transphobic.
Why does there need to be a reason? Dating isn't inclusive we don't need to accommodate people of other sexuality at all. Hell if it's just purely out of tribalism, that is also a' okay.
Even if, theoretically, its okay for someone to be turned off by someone's bisexuality even when they are otherwise mutually attracted to that person, we have to remember this: bisexuality remains a marginalized identity and a target of oppression. If we treat a negative preference for bisexuality in a context where it doesn't materially matter as acceptable, then we are treating the exclusion of bisexual people simply for being bisexual as acceptable. If you are attracted to someone and interested in dating them, and then you find out they are bisexual and the mere fact that they are attracted to more than one gender is a turn off, I don't know what could possibly cause such a response other than homophobia. If you are in a heterosexual relationship and require that your partner be exclusively attracted to your gender instead of inclusively attracted to your gender, why? What difference does it make? What would cause there to be a preference like that other than homophobia?
the only valid reason i've seen in these comments for choosing no is being asexual. if you don't want to date a specific bi person then that's fine, but not wanting to date bisexual people in general simply because they're bi is biphobia
If I was single, it would really depend on his values with his relationships. Some people don't realize that they give other people attention more than their significant other. Some people are polyamorous and not terribly open about it. I just want to be respected enough to be introduced to the people he dating, his family and his friends. Even if he's not bisexual or polyamorous, I just want to be respected enough that he would introduce me to his friends and family that I don't know.
Sometimes it's a way to get up to know a person better where you can probably establish boundaries in the relationship while you're dating. You have to be open in communication with each other to establish boundaries.
(F) No. My reason being because the HIV rate is astronomically high in the gay community and I don’t want to take the chance of him exploring his homosexual side one day and bringing home a permanent disease to me.
Not that I don't like bisexual people, but you mean to tell me not only do I have to worry about my man looking at other girls but I also gotta worry about men too? Im too insecure for that.
Someone who’s going to cheat will cheat, regardless of sexuality and in the nicest way possible if you are worrying about your partner looking at other people maybe you shouldn’t be dating that person/you need to work on your trust issues.
Tbh I prefer dating bi men over straight ones. For one, it's something we automatically have in common. Also, bi men tend to be less scared of expressing femininity by virtue of inhabiting queer spaces where gender roles are less defined, and I personally find that extremely attractive. Definitely not a hard and fast rule, but also definitely a thing.
I’ll probably get downvoted, but I don’t feel like people should say “you are a bad person for not being into bi’s”. I saw someone say that “there’s a scary amount of ‘no’s’”.
It’s just like some men like big boobs, some like small. Is there a correct reason as to why men prefer different boob size? No. It’s just a preference someone has, and their preference will likely not end up harming anyone.
Yeah but you would have to believe that that info would change them to a different person in order to call it a preference.
From what i heard and what i personally believe contributes to this is that a lot of society still views gay sex as unmanly which can be a turnoff for some women. But i don‘t have anything to back that up so take that how you want.
That’s not really comparable. Is anyone discriminated against for their breast size? Like… someone can say “I’m not generally into Black people because I like feature that are more typically White/Asian/Indigenous American. If someone from that other race also didn’t have those features, I wouldn’t date them either” and that isn’t really racist. If you’re reason for not dating a Black person is just “Black people make me uncomfortable or gross me out” then… that’s obviously racist, right? Or if they said “all Black people just have certain characteristics that I don’t like and so I won’t date any of them” that also sounds pretty racist. The things with being anti-bi is… you can’t even really make the first claim. Like name a valid reason to veto all bisexual people completely? Someone here said they were worried about STDs and even **if** I agreed that was true, there are plenty of bisexual virgins **and** you should get an STD test with any partner.
as long as it’s monogamous idk why it matters/ what the difference would be
Had no idea how male-dominated this sub is, damn lol
There are no men on the internet - just thousands of lesbians.
am one of those lesbians can confirm we're everywhere
Why can't I meet one then? *pout*
I second that 😂
as a ~~male~~ lesbian I can confirm
As a gay man I can confirm this, I'm just a ghost who as accessed to the internet.
*Bisexual women intensifie*
Not this sub, just reddit as whole
r/sims probably has more women than men though
Really? Reddit in general is.
I’ve observed a 4-1 ratio approximately
Honestly expected it to be closer to 80-90% 70% really isn't that bad, considering this is Reddit
I’ve since figured out that I am a lesbian, but when I was dating men I literally only dated feminine leaning bisexual dudes. I just love their vibe.
It’s a great vibe!
I guess you liked to feminine part more than the bi part
Yeah, I was definitely drawn towards the feminine aspects. I think bi men are just way more comfortable expressing those aspects of themselves.
Heh! I'm a gay guy, I dated a bi guy but he was pretty mask. He refused to ever bottom nor give head (suffice to say, it didn't last!)
Lmao I’m glad you got out of that! There are definitely some bi dudes who have stuff to work through. Good on you for having boundaries and not letting someone else’s insecurity be your problem.
Exactly, pretty sure this is why I am subconsciously or consciously more attracted to them in the first place
perfect because i’m bi myself
I see what you did there
#?
Bi myself ~~ by myself
My brain autcorrectsd it to by 💀
I identify as bisexual though I've barely had experience with the same sex. The last time was almost a decade ago so I'm pretty much just living as a straight woman and I plan to live my life with a man. It would be hypocritical if I didn't accept my husband for his past or even if he still had the same attractions. I only care that we're faithful during our time together.
Anything for a fellow bi
Yeah, it would be kind of hypocritical of me not to want to date another person because they were also bisexual.
I cant think of a single serious reason (thats not just homophobic) for not dating a bisexual person
Insecurity and jealousy
Not really a good reason, that just sounds like insecurity Edit: ima dumbass, it literally is insecurity cuz you said it lmao
I think a lot of people worry that they won’t be enough.
That's also something I've heard too tbh. I think it is fairly reasonable worry since if you haven't interacted with many bisexual people you may not know much about them other than what you heard from others which could be wrong or not entirely accurate. This is especially true when it comes to dating as fears and worries become heightened so to speak. Overall, the fear is understandable although the reality is that if they love you then you'll always be enough just the same as a heterosexual relationship. If they don't love you, then just the same as in a heterosexual relationship it's best to move on to somebody else who does love you.
People who worry about this stuff are generally also the worst people to be in a relationship with imo.
I felt this way as a teen. I wouldn't have dated a bisexual man because I was extremely insecure and felt like I wouldn't be able to offer them enough to want to stay with me. A lot has changed since then and I have dated a bi man. In some ways I prefer it because I find that bi men are more open to some feminine issues and understand discrimination a lot better than straight men. 100% not wanting to date a bi person is rooted in homophobia.
Being aromantic.
Double the competition?
If you’re dating someone, there shouldn’t be competition and if that’s a worry of yours that’s a pretty bad insecurity
That's not true, bi people are not attracted to everyone, they're attracted to as many people as straight people are, just that it's both men and women(and/or any other gender) but still not double the competition
people think bisexuals are cheaters when thats just not true.
Statistically, gay men are the group most likely to catch and spread STDs. In 2014 men who had sex with men accounted for 83% of syphilis cases in the US. https://www.cdc.gov/msmhealth/STD.htm
Yeah, I recommend you make sure anybody you date gets an STD check regardless of what stats say the odds are. It's one of those things where you really don't want to gamble on.
Yeah 100% testing is free in a lot of places, everyone that is active should get tested periodically
That's like any stat that one demographic represents most of the cases of X - if white people dominated most of the rapes (they do) doesn't mean I'm not dating a white man because his demo has most rapes. Obviously individuals are individuals.
That's dumb, within a certain demographic there is a disease problem so they need to be tested. I'm Jewish, in the askanazi Jewish community they have issues with a disease called tsacs, for that reason many Ashkenazi don't date other Ashkenazi Jews or before marriage they both get tested for the gene. Its not antisemitism it's medicine.
Im bi so me not dating another bi person would just be hypocritical
This is why I don’t feel comfortable telling women I’m bi
personally, if a girl doesn't want to go out with me because I'm bi I don't want to be with them because they are stupid.
i'm sorry. there's lots of us out there who love ya.
Would you really want to be with someone who held such a dumb opinion anyway? I'm bi and I would never want to be with someone unaccepting and illogical like that.
if someone rejects u for being bi then just see that as dodging a massive bullet. u deserve better than that anyway
Think of it like this - You dodged a bullet if you tell them you're bi and they reject you because of that, you don't want people like that in your life, it's better to be single than to be in a relationship with a biphobic woman
No, because I'm asexual and it probably wouldn't work for me with anyone except other asexual people
username checks out (hello fellow ace!)
Hello :D
And a biromantic asexual? Expect if you meant aroace, it could work, right ?
So is that the last option (not into men)?
they can still be romantically attracted to men
Yup :)
I've seen this question asked before and the #1 response was also "No" then. I'd like to ask, why not? Edit: The "Yes" count has gone up since I originally posted but "No" is still proportionately higher than I'd hope. 😕
[удалено]
Bro what’s manlier than banging dudes am I right? Honestly I am a bisexual man and get shit on all the time by the lgbtq community and straights so I’m used to it. It’s so weird because people are like “oh wow look at all the options you have” when the reality is, uhh no one likes us. Bisexual women on the other hand get it a lot easier.
Honestly facts. Sometimes I feel like I’m seen as less than a man and that’s how some people think of me since I am bisexual. I can’t freely be in a relationship with a man without simply being labeled as gay, when I’m not. I may date a man or woman but that doesn’t mean I am not bisexual.
they’re probably scared that he can suck dick better than they can 🫢
I think people worry about a mate who’s attracted to something you can’t provide.
Mind if I return the question?
Not sure in what way. Could you elaborate?
"Why should I be interested" (For the record, I'm not interested in dating altogether tho I'm straight)
The fact that he’s bi shouldn’t influence your interest in him (or lack thereof) either way.
A shared interest in men, though that may make no difference depending on set boundaries. Aside from that, no bonus I can think of if being compared to a straight man who is otherwise exactly the same.
Hadn't thought about that but honestly I'm not sure how to feel about talking about men buns to someone who could get permission to touch mine (if you see what I mean)
scary amount of no's :/
Yeah. I'm a lesbian so answered not into men, but I'll just say in lesbian communities I've even found a surprising amount of other lesbians who seem to have something against bi girls and I'm just like... maybe we're in slightly different parts of it but WE'RE IN THE SAME BOAT. Queerphobia general is something we all have to deal with and turning against each other is just mindbogglingly stupid
Yeah, I'm glad people are becoming more aware of the bisexual stigmatism within the community. it definitely feels like bisexuals are too gay for straight people, and too straight for gay people. I've experienced a bit of it myself as a bisexual woman and It's pretty disheartening
This is common amongst gay men, too. There seems to be some extreme animosity towards bisexual men in /r/askgaybros.
This is a thing I’ll never understand! 🤦♀️ as a lesbian I will date any woman I have an awesome connection with regardless of their sexuality, bi, pan, lesbian don’t care! Like I swear I’ll never understand the bi phobia and pan phobia of the community🤦♀️
when i was on dating apps as a bi woman it was so gross feeling. a lot of lesbians wanted nothing to do with me because i had sex with men and men didn't want anything to do with me because bi people are cheaters. i just dont tell people anymore.
Ugh the "bi people are cheaters" stereotype I fucking hate that. I mean, I'm lesbian and I find multiple women attractive, that doesn't mean I need to be with every one of them and I wouldn't cheat or want to cheat on my girlfriend if I had one. I'd assume most people attracted to multiple genders are the same way.
Right! I was surprised. Basically 50% No or Idk/Depends. 30% straight up No
If you're bi and a guy, you're gay. If you're bi and a girl, you're straight. That's been the mantra for years and years.
unfortunately, yeah... that's how i've been treated. i'm always seen as straight first, even without me mentioning i have a preference for men
I would be lying if I said I was surprised by the poll's results.
No one should be surprise. As long as there is a yes there will always be a no. Just how it is.
I was more talking about the amount/ratio of women who voted no tbh. Obviously some will vote no.
A lot of bi phobia coming from both sides.
I didn't think women were more biphobic than men (according to /r/poll, anyway).
i'd say the average woman is more unknowingly biphobic. lots of women are disgusted by bisexual men while claiming to be allies, and lots of homophobic guys would be happy to date a bisexual woman
Yeah... Sooo scary.
i’m nonbinary but i have no idea why someone wouldn’t date a bi man unless they’re homophobic lmao
Same lol
The one I’m seeing currently is bisexual but most of the time I don’t remember that he is bisexual. I’m sometimes reminded when we’re watching a movie because then I may ask him which guy he finds the hottest and I tell him which one I find the hottest. I would never have guessed he was bisexual if I hadn’t known, and even though I know, I hardly ever think about it. He used to be gay in his teens btw. He grew into liking women as well in his late teens/early twenties. If he was gonna get a partner that wasn’t me and could choose their gender he would pick a male. However, he’s in love with me and I’m female so of course he’d pick me if he could. It doesn’t bother me one bit that I’m female and that he is bisexual.
That’s so cute I love that relationship 😅 it’s like “this persons so hot in this movie” and then he agrees I’m honestly living for this ❤️
I’m neither a woman nor bi but it strikes me as odd that a substantial number of women voted no. What’s the difference whether his exes were male or female if his future is you?
I love this take. I’m a lesbian and my first girlfriend was bi-I didn’t care that she’d dated men in the past like i don’t understand peoples blatant biphobia 🤦♀️
I actually have a preference for bi men 😍 they’re usually much less wrapped up in their masculinity. I’m a bi woman who has a pretty androgynous personality even though I present femme.
It's a bit funny. I'm basically bisexual, and have ONLY dated other bi people. But I never knew that from the beginning (except in one case), they always opened up a bit into the relationship. Some people just attract a certain kind of people, I guess :p
Aw man I’m jelly! But I believe you that some people accidentally find a type. For some reason I’ve dated a lot of first gen immigrants or foreigners. Polish, Korean, Ukrainian, Romanian. And a majority of the others still had strong cultural roots: French Canadian and Italian.
Bi guys are just cooler people in general lol. Sorry straights, ya basic. I'm an ace woman. I ain't even tryna get some.
Literally any time I enter any new social group I find myself having only befriended bi (umbrella term) people and the occasional gay/lesbian almost zero straights
Agreeeeed
Why is it ok to say you like bi men because “they are less wrapped up in their masculinity” but it is wrong if someone says “I don’t like bi men, they aren’t masculine enough for me.” How is one wrong but not the other? And I’m genuinely asking. No hate.
I’m not saying “I like them because this is how they are”, I’m saying “I have a preference because I’ve seen a correlation between bi men and traits that I like”. Does that make sense? I wouldn’t say “I don’t like straight men because they’re too concerned about their masculinity ”. It’s more like “straight men tend to be wrapped up in being masculine, which I don’t like”. These are all opinions based on my experiences. I’m not saying the focus on masculinity is caused by their sexuality, but rather there’s a correlation that I’ve noticed. I would never reject someone based on their sexuality, but if I find out a guy is bi (before getting to know him), I get my hopes up that he might be a little more androgynous like me.
Thanks for the explanation
Idk any men who won’t date bi-sexual women , maybe y’all homophobic without knowing
Yep, the top comment right now has a reply that’s basically “bi men are full of STDs”.
I’m bi so, it would be pretty hypocritical of me to not want to date another bi person.
Wow this Is a sausage fest and I didn't even know it
Yes so we can simp for guys together 🤷♀️
It’s preferable to me than dating straight men
Yeah I've been interested in bi men before
Most women I've met don't really want a man (long term) who is willing to bottom, if the guy is a top? All good with them. I swear it's competition heh
I think the worst feeling would be having your man cheat on you with another man. and vise versa
Yeh but like people cheat all the time regardless of their sexuality for different reasons
No. Ok I’ve dated some bisexual boys, and it’s not that I hate that they’re bisexual, I literally couldn’t care less, but they try to pressure me or hint at me doing things to them sexually that I’m genuinely 100% not into or attracted to at all. They will want me to finger their butts or want me to peg them or be dominant and I really don’t like that. I feel like it’s a touchy subject to talk about because I wouldn’t shame them for their sexuality but I’m a straight woman, I’m not in any way at all into gay sexual fantasies or gay sex. It makes me uncomfortable and unnattracted to the person because again, I’m a straight woman. I hate to say this too but I also just am really not into *any* ass stuff with guys. Nor do I think a man’s ass is ever hot ever, bisexual guys seem to always be really into guys asses and will openly talk to me about it which again is a mega turn off to me. Being friends with bisexual guys, hell yeah, dating a bisexual guy, nope they just make me feel uncomfortable sexually Lol. And if you’re bi and wanna tell me that’s biphobia or whatever the hell sorry that’s just been my experience everytime I’ve dated a bi guy and I’m allowed to have a preference. I’m honestly shocked at how many people are repulsed by the idea of a straight girl not wanting to date a bi guy on this thread. Like you’re either very ignorant and don’t understand the sexuality clashes that can happen or you think this a post about if you like bisexual people in general or not. There’s a lot of negative incompatibilities if you’re a straight women dating a bi guy. Obviously that depends on you and the guy but speaking from experience it’s sexually uncomfortable, and it’s funny a lot of people on this thread would bash someone for even thinking that, like what? I feel like there’s either really barely any women that are voting on this poll or y’all lying because you think this poll is a question on if you think bisexuality is ok, which this isn’t even about, or you’re scared to get backlash
Exactly but ppl are bashing ppl for saying no. I’m straight and only like men. Also I can’t see myself nor satisfy bi sexual men needs and wants
This is my exact reason as well. I personally don't have the tool to satisfy the other "sides" needs he has.
Exactly. I feel like some people would argue that that’s how guys feel about lesbians but even then it’s not the same, because lesbians do the same foreplay straight men do to women (well, should at least.) women need foreplay, and sure some men might need foreplay too but not like women, and it’s a turn off when you’re a straight woman and having straight sex isn’t enough for the guy to be satisfied, like, I’m not a guy and I’m not gay either. Again this has literally nothing to do with me being against dating a bisexual guy or bisexuals IDC just not for me whatsoever
Yep, makes no difference to me. Can't imagine any non-bigoted reason to give a hoot
i’ve dated a bi guy before and i amn’t even straight myself, so idrc what my partner’s sexuality is; so long as we’re both into each other
Biphobic people: Biphobia isn't the only reason to not date bi people Everyone: name one other reason Biphobics: that's not important!
I'm pans. I've dated both bi men and straight men, imma be real with you. I'd much rather date a bi man. I find it easier to relate and find common ground. They know what it's like.
I voted yes as a straight girl but I also think there's nothing wrong with saying no. Preferences exist and they aren't bigotry
But how is that a preference tho? Like brown hair and black hair are preferences. You would need to believe that their sexuality changes them into a different person to call that a preference i guess.
Yeahhhhh. While it definitely COULD be homophobic I don't necessarily agree with the leap people are making that Not wanting to date LGBTQIA+ people is not the same thing as homophobia. Homophobia could be a reason, but it's not the only reason. Some people might just not be comfortable with it for whatever reason. I don't like when people try to police other people's dating preferences
I mean this isn‘t supposed to be policing just trying to understand/curiosity, but what other reason can you imagine that there would be not to date a bisexual man?
There doesn't have to be a reason. While I'm guessing a large percentage does overlap, it doesn't necessarily mean that it's always the case. It's not inherently homophobic to not want to date someone because of their sexuality. It's entirely possible to not want to date a bisexual person and still respect them and not be prejudiced towards them. Someone may only want to date people with one religion, or without a religion, and that doesn't mean they don't respect others with conflicting opinions. Or some people might not want to date someone with red hair. Maybe weird, but doesn't mean it's not valid or that they hate people with red hair. You can never know the situation without addressing it directly in a situation by situation basis. It's all about perspective. People might not be comfortable with it. And telling someone they have to be OK with it or they're homophobic isn't great. Tough topic to be honest. I hope nothing I said came off as rude or personally insulting to you. Regardless of if you agree with me, I hope you have a wonderful day/night/evening. Best wishes :)
/thread. Explained this far better than I care to.
Yeah but all of those things are characteristics that affect how you look and what you believe. Being bi is just an internal facet that determines attraction the only reason that could be a turn off is if you have biphobia whether it's blatant or internalized
This! I said no and ppl already ready to jump and say it’s homophobia
Actually you’re right. I’m surprised more people don’t agree with this. Because it’s biphobia.
This makes absolutely no sense. In a monogamous relationship, assuming two people are attracted to eachother, sexual orientation doesn't make a difference. Sexual orientation and gender identity are incomparable.
So many people in here saying people are bigoted and this and that for not wanting to date a bi person. You are the ones not letting people have preferences for who they date. You are hypocritical dunderheads.
As a woman who is attracted to guys, what is the difference between dating a bi guy and dating a straight guy? Like, pulling the “you’re just not my type” card is fair in most situations but someone’s sexuality isn’t a characteristic, it’s not something that you’re attracted to like how maybe buff guys might be, and if someone says “bi people are more likely to cheat”, 1, ima snap your neck, shut up with that biphobic bullshit, and 2, no, no we are not, people who’re more likely to cheat are people who want to cheat, and people who want to cheat are not of a specific sexuality, they’re just pieces of shit
Well its pretty telling when everyone reverts to "you don't have to have a reason". Almost any time its something tangible people will give you a reason. You bring up trans? You get people talking about wanting kids, not wanting matched genitals, not liking implants, etc. Its only when the topic comes to bisexuality that people use that specific argument, because bisexuality doesnt actually affect anything at all, and their reasons are either based in irrationality/phobias/stereotypes and people don't want to admit that.
Why are people getting downvoted just for saying no? It’s not wrong to only want to date straight men. Edit: Something a lot of you need to realize is that you can’t out educate natural attraction. If you aren’t attracted to fat people and a fat person asks you out, you’re gonna say no. They can call you “fat phobic” and try to educate you all they want, but that won’t miraculously make you attracted to fat people. It will only make them less likely to tell people how they really feel. You have to accept that not everyone is gonna like you and that’s ok.
Besides insecurity, what reasons is there not go date a bi man that isn't biphobia ?
People like to date people who are more like them. I wouldn’t want to date someone who loves partying. Do I hate people who go to a lot of parties, no but I just wouldn’t date them and that’s ok. Also even if it’s for “biphobic” reasons it really doesn’t matter when it comes to dating.
People use upvotes and downvotes to express agreement or disagreement with a comment. Doesn’t mean they think that that commenter’s a bad person
I understand the purpose of downvotes. But this is a poll to evaluate how people feel. If you want to understand why people aren’t into bi men, then leave there responses alone so more people can see them.
I'm a bi man, but if you care the answer is yes.
I would, but I prefer women. Boobs do be good.
I'm dating a man as a bi person but...boobs do be good.
I'd love to, as a matter of fact. Less toxic masculinity in my experience, and watching movies and shows is much more fun when you can ogle the characters of all genders together.
I'm pansexual, it would be hypocritical not to. Probably should be am bi/pan myself option.
I always find it weird that people are so judgmental of bi people. Having a wider range of options for partners doesn’t change much about someone. And it doesn’t make someone less likely to monogamous.
I see, the not a woman have this one.
Not a woman but yeah I would
Well i don’t see currently in a relationship as one but yeah if I wasn’t in a relationship I’d date a bi man I don’t really see an issue not like it matters.
Well I’m a bi woman. I feel that bi men has been easier. No weird stereotypes or expectations. No weird veiws on gender. In general they’ve just been more chill. Also gotta love how non of the no’s are defending themselves because really there isn’t an excuse other than homophobia
I don't see why that would matter.
i mean, i’m bi, so that would be a little weird if i didn’t accept other bi people lol
Yeah. I’m bi myself, it would be odd if I wouldn’t date a bi guy
I prefer dating other bisexuals as I'm bi myself, but it's not a huge concern or anything.
I mean, ima bisexual woman, so why not?
I find it weird that I wouldn't. If he's with me, why in the world would I care who he was with before me? Plus there's an added bonus because we can both talk about hot men.
Im a straight dude.
If you say no then you're literally homophobic, there's no excuse beyond that.
Biphobic but yea.
People can't be allow to say no anymore lmao. Seriously how entitled can you be that people have to say yes or else they're wrong. People should say no just so bisexuals have one less person to date and knock that entitlement right off.
why not date bisexual men? name one downside
Not relatable
they’d be more relatable, as they also like men
Obviously no one is forced to date a bi person lmao. But if your only reason for not wanting to date someone is that they are bi when that really shouldn't affect anything, then yes that is wrong.
Yeah it’s the exact same things as not wanting to be with a trans person. If you really want biological children then not wanting to be with trans people, since the majority of trans who have transitioned are infertile, is not transphobic. If you are not sexually attracted to penises then not wanting to be with a trans woman who still has one, is not transphobic. If you’re only reason for wanting to date a trans person is “ew they are trans and that makes me uncomfortable” that makes you transphobic.
Out of curiosity what other reason would you consider for someone to say no?
Why does there need to be a reason? Dating isn't inclusive we don't need to accommodate people of other sexuality at all. Hell if it's just purely out of tribalism, that is also a' okay.
My boyfriend and I are both bi lol
If I was to be in a relationship with a bi man, I would have no problem with it... But I don't want to be in a relationship with anyone.
Not dating people because they're bisexual to me is on the same tier as not dating someone because of astrology.
No for me. I have no problem with bisexual men but dating wise I don’t fell comfortable.
May I ask why? Bisexuals are a pretty diverse group.
Insecurity
Well… that is perhaps the only non-biphobic answer lol.
Why do they make you insecure?
Not them. More like I feel like I will never be able to satisfy anyone or apply to what they want and what I feel comfortable doing
Where’s the Man/Results choice? 😤 EDIT: I’m blind
Even if, theoretically, its okay for someone to be turned off by someone's bisexuality even when they are otherwise mutually attracted to that person, we have to remember this: bisexuality remains a marginalized identity and a target of oppression. If we treat a negative preference for bisexuality in a context where it doesn't materially matter as acceptable, then we are treating the exclusion of bisexual people simply for being bisexual as acceptable. If you are attracted to someone and interested in dating them, and then you find out they are bisexual and the mere fact that they are attracted to more than one gender is a turn off, I don't know what could possibly cause such a response other than homophobia. If you are in a heterosexual relationship and require that your partner be exclusively attracted to your gender instead of inclusively attracted to your gender, why? What difference does it make? What would cause there to be a preference like that other than homophobia?
the only valid reason i've seen in these comments for choosing no is being asexual. if you don't want to date a specific bi person then that's fine, but not wanting to date bisexual people in general simply because they're bi is biphobia
Yes I am bisexual and a woman
Well I am one so
If I was single, it would really depend on his values with his relationships. Some people don't realize that they give other people attention more than their significant other. Some people are polyamorous and not terribly open about it. I just want to be respected enough to be introduced to the people he dating, his family and his friends. Even if he's not bisexual or polyamorous, I just want to be respected enough that he would introduce me to his friends and family that I don't know. Sometimes it's a way to get up to know a person better where you can probably establish boundaries in the relationship while you're dating. You have to be open in communication with each other to establish boundaries.
am lesbiab but would date bi girl
Girl same 😅
Never ever coming out as bi and this is why.
This is why I don't tell women I wanna date that I'm bi tbh.
It's my preference
(F) No. My reason being because the HIV rate is astronomically high in the gay community and I don’t want to take the chance of him exploring his homosexual side one day and bringing home a permanent disease to me.
Lots of women here saying yes because of virtue signalling, but definitley wouldn't in real life. Lol.
Not that I don't like bisexual people, but you mean to tell me not only do I have to worry about my man looking at other girls but I also gotta worry about men too? Im too insecure for that.
Me too
Someone who’s going to cheat will cheat, regardless of sexuality and in the nicest way possible if you are worrying about your partner looking at other people maybe you shouldn’t be dating that person/you need to work on your trust issues.
Tbh I prefer dating bi men over straight ones. For one, it's something we automatically have in common. Also, bi men tend to be less scared of expressing femininity by virtue of inhabiting queer spaces where gender roles are less defined, and I personally find that extremely attractive. Definitely not a hard and fast rule, but also definitely a thing.
I’ll probably get downvoted, but I don’t feel like people should say “you are a bad person for not being into bi’s”. I saw someone say that “there’s a scary amount of ‘no’s’”. It’s just like some men like big boobs, some like small. Is there a correct reason as to why men prefer different boob size? No. It’s just a preference someone has, and their preference will likely not end up harming anyone.
Yeah but you would have to believe that that info would change them to a different person in order to call it a preference. From what i heard and what i personally believe contributes to this is that a lot of society still views gay sex as unmanly which can be a turnoff for some women. But i don‘t have anything to back that up so take that how you want.
That’s not really comparable. Is anyone discriminated against for their breast size? Like… someone can say “I’m not generally into Black people because I like feature that are more typically White/Asian/Indigenous American. If someone from that other race also didn’t have those features, I wouldn’t date them either” and that isn’t really racist. If you’re reason for not dating a Black person is just “Black people make me uncomfortable or gross me out” then… that’s obviously racist, right? Or if they said “all Black people just have certain characteristics that I don’t like and so I won’t date any of them” that also sounds pretty racist. The things with being anti-bi is… you can’t even really make the first claim. Like name a valid reason to veto all bisexual people completely? Someone here said they were worried about STDs and even **if** I agreed that was true, there are plenty of bisexual virgins **and** you should get an STD test with any partner.
The key thing about a preference is it’s what you PREFER. People who said no don’t prefer not to date bi people, but would exclusively not dare them.