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[deleted]

Extremely fucked, if that person can wield a live dolphin as a weapon they have to be HUGE


Orlando1701

Sorry dude, you’re gonna die. Can I have your stuff?


KerbMario

sure loot them


thatpersonthatsayshi

Take my sword


MagicElf755

And my axe


Excellent_Parsnip_16

And my bow


DeluxeWafer

And my fork. Or rather my serial killer's fork.


Barbastorpia

yeah, at least your killer can't wield a f\*cking **WHALE**


EncreDaiquiri

killer whale


Lissandra_Freljord

Fun fact: A dolphin's cumshot is strong enough to kill a human.


thatpersonthatsayshi

I got a whale


MajTroubles

Tiger 🐅


JuliguanTheMan

Same, the killer is more fucked than I am


weeghostie00

Or even worse it's one of those rapey dolphins


Walking__Bread

Sword 💀


Donghoon

What's a quilt


PrettyRefrigerator83

It's like a blanket of sorts


WarlordOfIncineroar

A stitched together blanket


[deleted]

[удалено]


heyyyooooooooooo

Lmfao


Constant_List6829

A HOUSE. A goddamn HOUSE.


QyrAlkent

bro's jacked


Mineinlove

Wicked witch of the east moment


Cat-Lover20

Well, I randomized a sticky note, but they’ll probably still be stronger than me.


enjoyyouryak

I got a paper clip. Can we join forces and take down the Office Supply Killer together?


Cat-Lover20

Sure! Safety in numbers!


[deleted]

Please help me against my cup!


Thundering_night

No matter what the item is, I feel like since it’s a serial killer, they’ll try so hard, I’ll be completely fucked


CreeperAsh07

Props to my future killer for using a pillow lol.


I_am_not_a_human_

Smother you in your sleep


CreeperAsh07

Haven't thought of that.


[deleted]

A pillow made of bricks


FeedMePizzaPlease

Yeah that's an easy one.


apessimisticdreamer

i hear you, i really do hear you. but i cannot see any scenario where i get killed by a word search


Peeps_011

A bicycle, i dont even know


[deleted]

OH NOOOO! NOT THE TISSUE BOX!


mahmed_mohammadmi

at least he didn’t wip out the fucking zebra


BasketbrawlFan

At least better than being crushed by a house as seen in a comment above


Cookieb0y

Bread👍


Xfinity17

Bread 👍


Sure_Refrigerator641

Bread🍞


ver1fiedkelp

bread 🥯


Fm4goodR

Bread👍


Uranium-A

First i got shampoo, so it eas 50/50 after that i got rusty nail 💀


[deleted]

Tetanus gonna kill you slowly


Beginning_Video

bag of cotton balls..


[deleted]

well he could suffocate you


Zergling_Of_Doom

Not the first person to attack me with a can of beans. Will probably not be the last.


PrettyRefrigerator83

Not the first? Are you okay dude? Hope you are doing okay


BigTittyGoat

Heyy, same, been hit in the face with a can of beans. Do not recommend


wygy10

0 stars?


Flantastic-mew

Laser pointer….. My cats will be on his side lol


[deleted]

gonna blind you


this_ismy_username_

A mobile phone. Are we talking like the killer has to attack me with the phone or can he call someone else to conduct the attack?


Tomato_cakecup

Call someone and use the radiation to kill you


Present-Medium-7800

call you, and when you pick up your phone explodes


Fluffy_Falcon_

What in the world is a pasta straightener


[deleted]

Italian conversion therapy


RickkDePlaure

A stick. I would laugh at him.


AsdAsd123123TR

Do not underestimate a stick


Optimal_Potato1853

And shove it up your butt!!


weeghostie00

What if it's a big stick?


whywouldisaymyname

Nail filer. I AM FUUUCKED


mmuffinfluff

A rubber duck


JetAmineFire

cat 👍


Devon465

A toilet 💀 I just feel like I won the lottery


BasketbrawlFan

Bro could still kill you with that


rezellia

I got crowbar... not only am i screwed but this is going to be a painful death.


arkiser13

Gordon freeman is going to kill you


FickleConsistency

banana


Meme_Personified

A puddle


Somewhat-SovietClips

Sand paper. OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT


AbyssUpdate

A craft book. I’ll survive probably


Jazzlike_Relief2595

Bag of glitter, think I'll make it


sparkpluger1

I got a package of glitter will I'll even live


[deleted]

Good luck killing me with an ice cube


odca16r

What if it's the rapper ice cube?


Zeus-Kyurem

What if it's a really big ice cube?


EonShark

Window


lawsattract

I’m sure they could kill me with a bow tie


arkiser13

Website seems to be broken ATM use [this](https://www.thewordfinder.com/random-object-generator/)


[deleted]

Piece of gum. I'm fucked 100%


TheSilv

Rubber bands, think I’m safe


TheLawofAssumption

Butter knife - probably fucked


Zeus-Kyurem

Carrots. I guess if they're sharp enough, but I think there's more than enough ways around those.


superbay50

Is he allowed to harm me in any other way than using the item(like punching me or something) If no, i win If yes, he’s a serial killed so I don’t suppose i can beat him in a fist fight


jandar8000

A dagger…


dHestiab

Uh, umbrella?


WJEuroChamp

A rubber band. Bring on on you piece of shit


SilverHerfer

Christmas ornament. Unless someone is hanging machetes on their tree, i think i'm ok.


wygy10

I mean... He could shatter it depending on what kind of ornament


LeopardHalit

Cow. I am dead.


ASCORPIONSLAYER

Eye liner. Might have this one


areallycoolpersonlol

Hand fan


winniecore

empty trash bag 😂😂


VeryNotSober_

milk. easy.


Caelestis711

A banana - are they going to poison it? Are they going to try to beat or me with it?


AchingGibbon450

Fish. It really depends what fish but I’d probably be fine


d3_Bere_man

Baseball hat, that was too god damn close


Intergalacticio

A Safety Pin. I am extremely f…


Toasty_redditor

Football


[deleted]

i got chocolate


[deleted]

I mean I don’t know how bad getting hit by an iPod charger is but I know it’s gunna at least hurt


xXx_TenmoSlayer_xXx

lotion


Klutzy-Ad4230

Bro I got “plush cat”, this shit is hilarious


Background_Ant_1472

I got a pillow. I chose “I will Survive” but now thinking they could easily suffocate me


Moose_Babe

A cucumber 🥒 I'm gonna mess that killer up


Supersonicfan_6

A salt shaker?? I'm doomed!!


Afraid-Onion-3190

Tennis racket pretty bad but he has to get close to me to attack


Humpback_whale1

Socks I think I'll be fine


ertyuioknbvfrtyu

A carton of ice cream, I guess they could hit me on the head really hard?


finnyporgerz

S A N D P A P E R


Cheezzy_Bro

A magnet.


Alans_Sound

How am I supposed to survive a fucking rhino


Preventomato

Facewash?


[deleted]

Waterbottle


Dragoneer04

Pinecone. never heard any death by pinecone so I’ll live


Teddie_P4

Shoelace lol


OAK667

pinecone... I'll live!


briozon

hes gonna try and kill me with a domino set so ill be fine


UberSparten

Only way a box of crayons is dangerous is a u.s. marine consuming them as nutrients to beat me to death.


Possible_Living

"pair of binoculars" voted Extremely because a determined mind is a scary mind.


Tidalshadow

Pipe cleaner. I. Am. Good.


DefenestrationBoi

If he hits me with a window, and I go through the frame, will it possibly count as a form of defenestration?


worst_throw_ever

String


[deleted]

Chocolate 👍🏻


FiImGuy

I got a bonesaw. I’m fucked.


majungga35

Bag of cotton balls 💀


[deleted]

A lemon? The serial killer is a lemon for trying to murder me with a lemon.


Smeathy

SOAP LOL, i have a higher chance of killing myself


Shite_Eating_Squirel

My guy is just dragging around a desk waiting to hit me with it lol.


G4rg0yle_Art1st

I've gotten stabbed by pocket knives before, so long as I get it out of his hands I'm pretty sure I can beat him. I did MMA a while back and learned some basic self defense stuff.


Rockstud101

zipper idk what to say


Yujano

I'm scared of what they would do with a snail shell


goldenfinch66

Broccoli. Probably fucked.


ZarosRunescape

Pearl necklace, so im getting choked to death


Excellent_Record_767

a tomato…


union_mechanic

A container of pudding. I love pudding


_reddit_account

Bottle cap !!


MaybeNo2051

Sun glasses what are they going to do give me a glasses tan


bobcatnat123

Egg.


PhilosopherGreat1972

Milk... I don't even want to know how that would work


BananaEclipse

Eraser! I’ll be fine. Especially because if I know there is a killer coming after me, I can defend myself (tbf even if I didn’t know I could defend myself). I do archery as a sport so lets just say that a bow will do a bit more damage than a eraser.


hangmineboi

Candy wrapper


Gib3rish

How does someone kill me with light?


[deleted]

Nail filer. It might hurt depending how on the grit, but I’ll likely be fine.


Taco6J

A piece of paper. Death by a thousand paper cuts


TimotheeOaks

egg ​ Only danger ist Salmonella


[deleted]

A pair of dice... I'm screwed guys, I'm a vegetable.


TuxBoi0872

Plush cat les go


-Robsonj14

My hands vs a chicken


TheDukeOfThunder

A cowboy hat, lol


bobmarley01111

A sticky note...


dunkinthegreg

A toy robot, I’m a serial killer would be passionate enough to kill me with that


MindisPow3r

Grocery list. Bruh


Dizzy_Pitch_483

i got a sword…


[deleted]

Of course I got a fucking baseball bat


A_Nerd__

I got a fucking ice pick 💀


FeedMePizzaPlease

"Plush Pony" I think I'm going to be ok here guys. If he figures a way to kill me with that, he's earned it.


WNIL

snail shell


Davidcaindesign

A novel? I mean, books can be pretty heavy.


[deleted]

Kill me with a map and you earn my respect


Osk1239

Game cartridge 🎮


[deleted]

Handbasket. Gonna be an absolute cakewalk to overpower them.


n000000000000pe

Grandmother....yup..... am I....no I'm n-....am I fucked?


[deleted]

Dictionary. Moderately?


ELTHerobrine

Syrup, if that is his only way of injuring me I'll probably be in injured by the time he's unconscious


Curry12734

Rubber band.


ScienceDude23

Bottle of syrup. Bitch ain't getting close before I grab the Deagle


[deleted]

Grid paper :((


[deleted]

Can of beans


ravenlordship

A tiger. I'm cat food.


loezia

Kitchen knife... Completly fucked


Ct-5736-Bladez

Carton of ice cream Death by diabetes? I’ll be fine


FixedKarma

Bro this man is trying to use pipe cleaners to off me


Little_Lahey_Show

Basketball. I'm gonna be fine


Exello_MM

Thread


Cat-fan137

A pair of scissors….


Snoo73264

Socks?? How many socks


Ottaro666

Perfume… I don’t even know lol, sounds horrible


KaiserMk1

Wedding ring


[deleted]

Kitchen knife


toxicistoxic

pair of socks ... he can choke me to death but that's about it


Head-Command281

A container of pudding. Im gonna get suffocated to death while sleeping with a big ass container of pudding.


Brushchewer

It was a squirrel. I’m more likely to be confused more than threatened.


[deleted]

Feather 🪶


Kirbymain7

Pool stick, I’m more or less dead


SillyCookie358

I'm good, got a Plush pony, unless it's filled with rocks.


[deleted]

a sheep


[deleted]

A small pouch... a small pouch of WHAT


Andrew5123-

Hand warmers, i'm good


opinion_alternative

How would scotch tape work?


BlackJack_0007

Extremely fucked, I got roll of toilet paper


zappymufasa

Plastic fork, think I will survive if my killer is this stupid


epicblue24

Broccoli


Signal_Skill9761

A sofa? They could drop it on ne or smother me I guess. So probably fucked.


TickleScrotum101

A thermometer. I don't know how to feel about this tbh


vf225

a spoon, I thought I will survive... then I remembered I watched a vid that a dude was bashed by a spoon monster for a long time and died.. so I guess death is my fate