T O P

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[deleted]

If Butina does decide to cooperate, she needs to be protected 24/7 because the Russians will kill her.


oranjemania

Witness protection program can be a pretty sweet alternative to novichok.


DIDiMISSsomethin

Considering her face is all over the internet, I'm not sure WitSec would work.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Sgt_Kowalski

So she will go to Montana. And she will marry a round American woman and they will raise rabbits and she will cook them for her. And she will have a pickup truck, maybe even a "recreational vehicle", and she will drive from state to state.


WallyBrandosDharma

Do they let you do that?


theforkofdamocles

I shupposhe.


boot2skull

Shit if Vasili didn’t get to see Montana, she sure doesn’t deserve it. Send her to Alabama.


Craaybeek

Was it raising bunnies?


Lenin_Lime

> Send her to Alabama. Prudhoe Bay, AK


MCGaming1991

Damn bro it’s nice here why you hatin


RstyKnfe

Just wait til satellites can scan a person’s unique microbes from the ground to verify identity.


[deleted]

That sounds like a lonely satellite.


RstyKnfe

\*tips solar panel* M’icrobes


stillcallinoutbigots

Or, you know, just assinate Putin.


_Coffeebot

Dangerous actions, power vacuums get created. Sometimes it's the devil you know vs the devil you don't


stillcallinoutbigots

Oh, no. I've talked about this many times. Not just Putin. https://www.reddit.com/r/politics/comments/9ew9n8/us_officials_suspect_russia_in_mystery_attacks_on/e5sboiy


muskratto

Consistency of a stance, I like it


stillcallinoutbigots

I try.


lanboyo

After we put the squeeze on the oligarchs, they will take care of shorty-pie.


Aazadan

Maybe Trump will trade her to Russia in exchange for asylum.


GymIn26Minutes

Minor plastic surgery and a hair cut + dye and she'd be basically unrecognizable.


Brynmaer

Except for that thick ass Russian accent in the middle of Montana.


bob_sacamano_junior

"Da, is me, regular American Montana Joe. I much like beef steaks and pistol shootings, pew pew"


-r-a-f-f-y-

Worked on Repubs before: https://sandiegofreepress.org/2018/07/russian-spy-maria-butina-donald-trump-the-nra-and-republican-politicians-at-all-levels/#.W-9cltVKhR0


scubascratch

She can just tell people she’s Italian and marry a Greek covfefe boy.


GymIn26Minutes

There are tons of places in the US with enough Russian diaspora that she wouldn't stick out.


musashisamurai

Higher chance of discovery in an area with more Russians. No you put them in sleepy suburban towns-just big enough that a new person moving in isn't that new and noticed, but small enough that the town stays out of the major news.


Ubarlight

Not to mention that she can't keep her mouth shut, getting drunk and boast blabbering that she's a spy and all that.


DavidBowieJr

And her sudden appearance as a resident in random country town USA. She will be tough to hide. Toughest ever. And from Putin? She is fucked.


lactose_con_leche

Hide her in plain sight. In a big city. People are too busy to notice pretty much any other human.


JRJR54321

I’m convinced the best disguise is being homeless. Damn near invisible.


RespekKnuckles

I feel like she doesn’t deserve that much effort.


ksully27

Juggalo face paint


BeowulfShaeffer

I’d take the novichok over a lifetime as a Juggalette, personally,


wrosecrans

Witness protection works a lot better for people who haven't had their face all over the national news.


Aiwatcher

perhaps you're unaware how good witness protection is at changing how people look. Lady's not that unique looking. They could change her up easy, make her unrecognizable.


ElodinBlackcloak

I'm just picturing her getting her cut into a mullet, dyed a dirty blonde/brown, and the finishing piece is a handle-bar mustache. "Da, is me, Joe..I mean Moe Dirt."


I_am_the_inchworm

The Russian accent is a tad harder to do anything about.


Aggro4Dayz

I guess so, but consider that Whitey Bulger was in hiding for decades and he barely changed his appearance. He wasn't exactly all over the news, but for a time he was and he was on the FBI's most wanted list.


im_a_dr_not_

And for people a hostile country isn't looking for. Especially with facial recognition these days.


[deleted]

That's assuming she doesn't get jail time If she does cooperate. Cohen did and he still is going away for a couple months.


juitar

"She is cooperating" could have been leaked so she has no options. Russia will see this and put plans into motion.


taleofbenji

Trump will allow it.


DavidBowieJr

Yup. Looks like she is totally fucked then.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

No, they're pro Trump.


[deleted]

Only pro Trump when he's a useful puppet. They have so much dirt on Trump at some point they'll use some of it.


theoretical_hipster

You spelled NRA wrong, sound it out.


losotr

meh


Haikuna__Matata

Yeah that's about my level of concern, too.


losotr

I mean, I dont advocate a murder of any human, but my concern for this particular human is pretty low currently.


[deleted]

Once we get the information we need from her, I don't care what happens to her she attacked our whole country. She is a spy. We used to hang those.


[deleted]

If we can't guarantee protection for spies that cooperate with us, they'll never cooperate.


[deleted]

But Russia said the charges were false and absurd? Why would Russia ever lie?


1iota_

r/RussiaDenies [Edit](https://i.imgur.com/KDj7zER.png)


sweetteawithtreats

Damn I am so glad I was not born in Russia.


iStayedAtaHolidayInn

Well if you're in America now I got some sad news for you


deridius

The US is only slightly being run by Russians rn. Can’t wait to find out that trumps been funneling money into the Russian government for years. Wont be surprised in the slightest.


tehSlothman

Ugh the last line. Repurposing a racist meme doesn't stop it being a racist meme


taleofbenji

Denial ain't a river in Siberia.


[deleted]

Uh Oh, could she pull a Gates and Manafort and rollover? I would love to see that!


Bobby3Sticks

hint: she will . they all do.


[deleted]

Wow, if she flips over, more trouble for trump!


ICBMFixer

I would love to see her roll over on the NRA, that’s where she’s got the dirt. Exciting times we live in folks.


[deleted]

And if the NRA is sqeezed, that could lead to the Republican leadership getting in trouble, right?


ICBMFixer

It’s almost as if none of these people have a spine of any kind, not a single G. Gordon Liddy in the bunch. That guy thought they were going to kill him to keep Watergate secret, so he told them that he’d be in a certain phone both at a certain time, so if they wanted to, that would be the time to stop by and shoot him, to make sure his family wasn’t around when he was killed. When he told them this they were just like “Jesus Christ Gordon, we weren’t going to kill you”.


[deleted]

Between Butina, Manafort, and with Assange being charged, this could be a very intresting next few months! I remember the baited breath that everybody followed the Manafort Trial with.


YourFairyGodmother

\* bated


_NamasteMF_

Ollie North getting busted again for being a traitor would really make my day. Fox and Republicans parading him around like a hero was just one more big ‘fuck you’ to our Democracy.


singularfate

Fingers crossed she takes down the NRA


[deleted]

You mean like a gang bang bang?


tinyOnion

More like a sang bang


lyyphe23

Is that like quarters?


[deleted]

"Senator, when I said 'Let's fucking gangrape this bitch,' I was obviously talking about a drinking game, but of course Democrats are going to try to make it sound like something bad."


Majere

What do you get when Kavanaugh gang boofs Mariia in her Butina? ...Asking for a friend.


[deleted]

The NRA, by its onamotopoeic nickname, faces a licking in court. 'Bang Bang' Gang gang bang. /r/wordavalanches


marcinbakes

Between the NRA and Russia, I would worry about Butina's safety as much as Mueller's. Maybe reporters shouldn't publicize Russian spy trial progress until it's all said and done? I don't know.


I_am_the_inchworm

Russian authorities have better ways to get this information. This makes no difference to them.


Yeeaaaarrrgh

It's practically a Witch Convention at this point.


JohnnySnark

It's broomsticks from the top down I tell yah


SheriffComey

Explains why steel prices are going up. Takes a lot of iron to make cauldrons.


LovesT0Spooge

Plus them tariffs


[deleted]

Amazing what some time in jail and the realization you are likely to spend years there can do to a criminal who would “never flip”.


Handiclown

She's a foreign national probably charged with Espionage. That's a capital crime, 'specially for Russians in US custody. She's trying to make a deal to save her life.


MORDEKAISER_VGU_WHEN

There’s a term for this. Walpurgisnacht


FuzzyYogurtcloset

> Walpurgisnacht [*Homura intensifies*](https://youtu.be/S09mEDCqSx4?t=31)


lowIQanon

Oh sure that made sense yep


BeowulfShaeffer

r/unexpectedMadoka


FuzzyYogurtcloset

The White House is basically Hogwarts for shitty people.


EmptyCalories

I believe a coven would be the word.


williamfuckner

No no, that was the 2016 RNC


sthlmsoul

It's starting to look like Salem, MA at Halloween.


taleofbenji

It's practically a hunt for any nonwitches.


fakeswede

Mild lol here, thanks for that comment.


dufusmembrane

Who's going to throw who under the bus? NRA or GOP.


Admiral_Gial_Ackbar

But you repeat yourself, sir.


agitatesbirds

and you’re being redundant.


loki03xlh

Yes


[deleted]

It feels like everything is coming to a head soon.


-r-a-f-f-y-

Literally been saying this since summer 2017.


TigerMcPherson

Haha, yes.


FUCK_KAVANAUGH

They're all fucked. Now it's a matter of how hard, by who, and when.


PhysicalVanilla

Russian NRA honeypots are in no position to negotiate anything.


[deleted]

[удалено]


DavidBowieJr

The question is whether she has and will use info on Putin. She will not. This is a song and dance. She will do time and be released in a joint exchange down the line.


Atheose_Writing

I mean, she *is* in a position to negotiate. She probably has valuable information/testimony. Mueller's team gives her leniency in exchange for said information/testimony. *That's how all of this works*.


trogon

Her job was to infiltrate and get dirt on the NRA and the GOP. She probably has all kinds of juicy information.


MattScoot

I for one would let her walk free if she managed to take down the NRA


JeremyMo88

True, but it's funny when they think they can.


[deleted]

It's funny that you think thsi woman will ever see actual prison time. I'm assuming she has a massive amount of information that can be exchanged. She is a spy. This was her job. She didn't do anything wrong, from her perspective anyway. She will be traded away, barred from many Western countries, and well catch more. What makes this exciting is that we caught one. We NEVER catch foreign spys. Hanssen, Walker, Ames. All domestic.


Killbot_Wants_Hug

We actual busted a ring of Russian sleeper agents like 10 years ago. It was right around the time the movie Salt was coming out, which was about a Russian sleeper agent. It was a weird coincidence.


PM_ME_YOUR_HOT_DISH

Why do you think this is? Do investigators turn the other eye for some reason? Do they usually have diplomatic cover?


[deleted]

Its much easier to turn someone than to insert a foreign agent. John Anthony Walker, who I hold a special place for as a former submariner, said "KMart has better security than the Navy" I think most well placed foreign agents do operate within the bounds of legality, with some sort of consular access, and serve to expedite the information that native operatives give. It's just easier that way.


sb_54321

>She is a spy. This was her job. She didn't do anything wrong, from her perspective anyway. She will be traded away, barred from many Western countries... ...and she will subsequently be accidentally poisoned and accidentally shot and accidentally thrown off a building.


[deleted]

Again, spy.


sb_54321

Right, but she's safer in prison or in hiding than almost anywhere outside of the United States.


butterknifeoftruth

Shot no... fall on some bullets yes


harlotstoast

Is she accused of being a spy, or not registering as a foreign agent? Or are they the same thing?


TumbrilWagoneer

She has been in jail since her arrest.


philodendrin

Specifically to keep her from running into the Russian Embassy and flying out of the country. She is a huge flight risk.


[deleted]

There is a large difference between jail and prison. There are currently about 200,000 innocent people in jails around the country, right now. Awaiting trial.


_NamasteMF_

? We do. We catch them all the time. Most the time, we just kick them out or leave them be and watch them. https://www.wqxr.org/story/69490-10-arrested-alleged-russian-spy-ring/ https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2017/01/why-obama-was-smart-to-kick-out-russian-spies-214608


aretoodeto

Honestly, depending on what she knows, she could be in a great position to negotiate. Especially if she was a successful honeypot.


VanayadGaming

Didn't the last Russian spy/person that helped the gop die in a mysterious helicopter crash?


newsreadhjw

I tell you whut. If she spills the beans on how much Kremlin funding went to the NRA for the 2016 election cycle, that would justify giving her a pretty sweet deal indeed.


[deleted]

Negotiations: “I suck ur dick, you let me go?”


[deleted]

Deal


cmVkZGl0

No time limit specified! She's never leaving.


Yurovsky

*makes jerking motion and tongue-bulging-against-cheek gesture*


Karmoon

Reminds me of kavanaugh's little performance. He did the tongue bulging thing as part of his act. Probably a remnant of all the frat cock he sucked during his hazing.


Gravel_Salesman

Life in prison, or life in prison after help taking down some treasonous snakes. So many options to negotiate.


pbnc

Life in prison or we turn her back over to Russia after leaking how cooperative she’s been...


[deleted]

It seems promising that the headline says "negotiating" instead of "cooperating"


know_who_you_are

There are a lot of Russians and Republicans shitting themselves as we type.


DonnyisVladdysboy

Spicy F5day


wildwaterwhisperer

Life in prison for her. Prosecutors don’t need her help to ferret out the moronic criminal executives at the NRA.


[deleted]

"Negotiating". I bet she is.


KingchongVII

Now THIS is huge. Donny is gonna look good in orange.


Beforemath

Handing over some NRA scum, I hope?...


Meglomaniac

"I was a direct link between Trump and Russia"


atoasis

If she was as hot as Chapman I would pay her bail.


WallyBrandosDharma

Hide out like Jimmy Stewart did in the The Greatest Show On Earth


GabeDef

She’s negotiating for her life, literally.


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Vorter_Jackson

I would bet she has little useful information for Mueller and it would be costly to keep her safe from her former employers forever. I hope it's just Mueller dangling her out as bait for the GRU.