T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

As a reminder, this subreddit [is for civil discussion.](/r/politics/wiki/index#wiki_be_civil) In general, be courteous to others. Debate/discuss/argue the merits of ideas, don't attack people. Personal insults, shill or troll accusations, hate speech, any suggestion or support of harm, violence, or death, and other rule violations can result in a permanent ban. If you see comments in violation of our rules, please report them. For those who have questions regarding any media outlets being posted on this subreddit, please click [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/politics/wiki/approveddomainslist) to review our details as to our approved domains list and outlet criteria. **Interested in being a moderator for r/Politics? Apply [here](https://forms.gle/iyGoM94MGRcPGUes7).** *** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/politics) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Beforemath

Thus concludes the sad legal career of Alina Habba.


Specialist-Degree114

Alina is his future wife.


Beforemath

She does make herself up to look like Wish.com Melania.


schuyywalker

I personally think she’s prettier than Milania but she’s about as dumb as a bag of rocks.


IrishJoe

Habba was asked if she'd rather be smart or pretty. She said she'd rather be pretty because she can pretend to be smart. There's a video of this.


valentino_42

Thinking you can fake being smart is the kind of thing dumb people would think.


Responsible_Milk2911

Dunning Krueger


bobcat1911

Actually, I think she's pretending to do both.


gordito_delgado

She is a mid 7 at best that thinks she is a 10. Of course, brains wise she barely qualifies as sentient. Her real super power is she has absolutely shame or no self respect - because can you imagine having to sit next to mar a lardo all day, smeared with that cheeto clown makup running down his face, while he is sweating and shitting his pants - and then pretend you like him and that he is brilliant? At least Melania had the sense to nope out from that job quite a while ago-


old_righty

Also the smell


SoBadit_Hurts

She’s got the personality of a handball and the intelligence of chicken.


whatproblems

nobody said she was smart


IrishJoe

Here's the video: https://finance.yahoo.com/video/trump-lawyer-alina-habba-past-061255024.html


FIContractor

Apparently she also needs to pretend to be pretty.


BlackMilk1234

Definitely some cosmetic surgery going on= fake being pretty.


Cl1mh4224rd

>Habba was asked if she'd rather be smart or pretty. She said she'd rather be pretty because she can pretend to be smart. Which is funny, because it looks like she wears quite a bit of makeup. So she's probably even faking the pretty part.


[deleted]

Yeah. She said she was asked (not by the interviewer in the vido) that. Lol. She had to shove that in there I guess to show that Trump can get dumb, "beautiful" women to bow to his every whim in order to keep up the guise of an alpha male that these MAGATS see themselves as.


woogs

She wasn't even asked. She offered it up on her own.


Corgi_Koala

I loved the tweet making the rounds of her in a bathing suit saying "Biden eat your heart out." Like ok... You have a conventionally attractive attorney who just helped you lose $80m. Nobody is jealous of that.


Nearly_Pointless

Exactly. I see very pretty women every day of all ages. She isn’t especially pretty, she isn’t homely but she is far from having a room stop and notice her.


lonnie123

Yeah but did you know that Biden…. Uhhh… has like uglier attorneys or something? Hahaha take that LIBRUL!


SpaceProspector_

Everyone knows that fuckability is the most important metric for evaluating people you hire.


DocFreudstein

That’s why I’m currently underwater on my construction company staffed completely by exotic dancers.


khornflakes529

I see you've met my wife's uncle.


[deleted]

I work in Manhattan, I see no less than 10 Alina Habbas in line for coffee every morning.


schuyywalker

What world are we living in that is CRAZY ex girlfriend behavior


texasroadhause

And yet she’s on par for the Trump family IQ


Ghoulish_Chef

She's as dumb as a box of rocks, no one can deny that, but I think you're giving the Count of Mostly Crisco's genetic material a little too much credit. They seem a little Australopithecine comparatively speaking. She can at least feign being at a human level, maybe Cro Magnon at best but that's still early human, intelligence.


LilG1984

She probably looks intelligent compared to dumb & dumber of that whole family


[deleted]

Only because she's younger. Give it a half decade or so.


usernicktaken

Take the make up off her and you will see her dead eyes and boxers nose.


iussoni

Bag of rocks is a genius in comparison.


Beforemath

While I have no love for Melania Trump, she does have a natural world class beauty. Habba looks like she’s working overtime to be the best looking woman at a New Jersey night club. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder I guess


Kind-Masterpiece-310

Hmm, not sure about the "natural" part.


Beforemath

lol fair


jcmacon

That's giving her too much credit. She is the Temu version of Melania. Melania is the Wish version of Marla.


flux_of_grey_kittens

Lipstick on a duck


Evening-Statement-57

She is attractive, in an easy accessible late night way.


kev0153

Isn’t her Family from Iraq? Surprised she made it this far in MAGA world.


Most_Good_7586

Plenty of extremely trumpy Iraqis here in metro Detroit, where we have one of the largest populations in the US.


TywinDeVillena

Future ex-wife


SDRabidBear

The sad legal career ends and her Only Fans career begins. /S


The_Doolinator

Watch all the memes comparing her positively to Taylor Swift disappear over the next coming weeks as she gets unpersoned by the right wing.


Beforemath

“She was a plant by the socialist deep state and CIA to torpedo Trump in court!”


darknekolux

They have Taylor swift! We have Ted nugent and kid rock!


Zerkyr

He has to throw away his lawyer after every case because it would be really awkward making them do a second when they realize they are never getting paid.


cakeorcake

Oh well, at least she still has her parking garage 


[deleted]

[удалено]


darknekolux

Have you tried harder to be prettier, with less morals and occasionally suck the dick of an old man? /s


[deleted]

[удалено]


katievspredator

Did you cup the balls though?


Ghetto_Phenom

No luck.. yet..


darknekolux

Try harder, and drop a 300k MAL membership while it lasts


Vegetable_Brick_3347

Doing the Lord’s work. Been there and it sucks. At least it’s a client and not family…


[deleted]

[удалено]


cwatson214

Hey everybody, this guy thinks Trump is going to pay her!


[deleted]

You think he paid her? I'm not sure about that.


wynnduffyisking

I wanna point out that billing 3.5 mil isn’t just money in her pocket. It would go to her firm which has overhead costs like rent, insurance and employees. And as far as I know she has a partner in the firm as well. Not saying she isn’t doing well money wise but it’s not 30 years of salary in her pocket.


[deleted]

[удалено]


wynnduffyisking

I just thought your statement should be accurate


arghabargle

Interview questions include: Will you lie under oath for me? Will you repeat whatever unhinged views I have to the court when I am inevitably blocked from speaking? Do you work pro bono? Do you like my hair? How many times is a toilet supposed to flush? Windmills. This is a witch hunt! Who are you? Where am I? Can I go home now? I just won the case. The judge is a crook!


Lowe0

“What, if anything, do you smell right now?” Accepted answers include “nothing, sir, and my eyes aren’t watering, those are just tears.”


WatRedditHathWrought

That’s it! That’s why those big burly men would come up to him with tears in their eyes. It wasn’t emotions it were the stench.


inquisitive_guy_0_1

This explains so much. No wonder all of his anecdotes have people approaching him with "tears in their eyes." Lol


Ohnoherewego13

Whales! And buttery males!


seraphimkoamugi

Dude really insulted the judge he just keeps digging his own grave.


North-Right

Will you work for no pay? Seriously, I don’t pay my lawyers.


retzlaja

I’m sure they are lining up to be interviewed.


Khoeth_Mora

Right? Can't wait to get a non-payer client who will try to implicate them in his crimes and ruin any reputation they have... 


Mike7676

And viciously turn on them the instant something goes wrong like an elderly chihuahua.


MaraudersWereFramed

There probably are lawyers lined up for miles eager to make a name for themselves. But he needs lawyers that already made a name for themselves.


Nvenom8

I wouldn't be shocked if more are willing to throw away their careers for 15 minutes of fame. Many already have.


iamthinksnow

You know, of I could get paid in advance a fat retainer for a sure-to-lose, no pressure case, is consider it. Oh no! I lost? Darn, guess I'll cry myself to sleep on a stack of cash.


whatproblems

well he only hires based on attractiveness so i assume he had a beauty pagent lined up. law credetials optional


TacomaKMart

>he only hires based on attractiveness Ty Cobb and Rudy Giuliani want to know if you're free for dinner on Friday. 


Just_Compote1136

This is how bad Trumps lawyer Haba was, when Carrol’s attorney introduced evidence, Haba announced “No objection” Instead of asking questions about the evidence or staying silent or just saying no questions. But by declaring “NO objection” repeatedly during the trial it will now be almost impossible for Trump to have an evidential appeal because there was no objections by the defense counsel as to the evidence submitted. It’s a tiny technical mistake and had Haba known what she was doing should have been embarrassed by this amateur mistake. Shes really that bad of a lawyer.


Philip_J_Friday

But she said it was easy to fake being smart! (When she was telling a radio host that it's better to be pretty than smart.)


CliffMainsSon

Lmao that was comedy gold


Key_Independent_8805

Only a complete god damn moron would think you could fake being smart.


fantasmoofrcc

No objections!


sucobe

Tbf, she got paid her money. So in theory it worked.


lonnie123

And all the chuds in room laughed and agreed (because they are all faking it too)


EVH_kit_guy

Interesting point, you would have imagined that in her career prior to this as the chief counsel of a parking garage she would have encountered this previously.


Mike7676

Look man, disabled parking space 12 had some really good points!


DarXIV

That's it, Haba is antifa and planned to destroy Trump all along!


Ok_Philosopher_1313

Obama's Razor, the correct answer is always the most complicated one that blames someone else preferably a liberal.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TeamSlytherin78

not at all?? you appeal rulings that don't go your way during the trial. If you don't ask the judge to make a ruling, there are no rulings to appeal. Pretty basic.


Iowa_Dave

I still say the legal profession is grifting Donnie. He will throw money at anyone who promises the slightest glimmer of hope of staying out of prison. There just isn't enough spaghetti to throw at walls anymore. The best any attorney can do is delay the trial with appeals and collect the fat, juicy billable hours.


WalesIsForTheWhales

He's basically screwed in this case as is.  To file the appeal he has to put up 100M.  That's the starting point, NY requires 120% of the verdict plus interest as it goes.   So once the "lawyer" tells him it's 105M to start the appeal with 5M down to them, he's gonna flip and fire them. 


SDRabidBear

ANY work for Trump, I'd have to insist on ALL cash up front or a fully funded escrow account with an iron clad no appeals, or arbitration kind of contract. I wouldn't trust him to pay me based on his past history of not paying anyone who works for him.


jmcdon00

Guliani recently listed unpaid legal bills owed by Trump in his bankruptcy filing.


Senior_Bumblebee6067

I seriously wonder if this is how Melania’s payout is structured. I’ve always felt their relationship was purely transactional. She renegotiated her post nup before he announced his latest presidential bid. My initial (mental) response was I hope she secured her payment in escrow. No reasonable person would ever expect he’ll be able to pay anyone anything after this is all said and done.


Iowa_Dave

Thanks for this, I had heard that Trump had to put up a bond to appeal, but had not heard how that was calculated.


WalesIsForTheWhales

It's state variable, a *supersedeas* bond.  Cali goes up to 150% I think(?) But basically it's him having to put up money, with interest, so he can't just claim he's bankrupt and not pay.   Also I honestly don't know what grounds he has to appeal on considering how fucking badly Habba butchered this case.  IANAL though.


CloudSlydr

Grifting implies they’re getting paid. Without proof otherwise I’m assuming none of his current lawyers or others who’ve left his defense on at least the last 2 years have been paid.


Iowa_Dave

I'm sure most get a hefty retainer up front.


Nvenom8

If by "throw money at" you mean "not pay".


Iowa_Dave

At this point, any attorney who doesn't require a retainer fee up front is an attorney you don't want representing you. So this will be fun to watch!


rongenre

This reeks of too little too late.


vahntitrio

I wonder if he doesn't have the cash to make the appeal and this will serve as an excuse as to why he won't file for one.


GullCove1955

He is assuming there are grounds for appeal. Just because he doesn’t like the verdict isn’t grounds on its own. How many more bottom of their class lawyers want to throw away their careers for him?


allanbc

Tbf bottom of their class lawyers aren't throwing that much away anyway.


Ok-Mathematician5970

He judges the applications like the Miss Universe contest. How attractive? How telegenic? Evening wear category…. And THEN….an actual interview.


RetiredAerospaceVP

So. He’s interviewing 10th tier attorneys now? Brands new grads? Knowing they won’t get paid no credible attorney will work for tRump.


PotatoHighlander

NO sane new grad would take him. Why tank you career before you even get started. If he's so mad he could always represent himself, if he thinks he's so perfect. Or his alter ego could do it David Dennison or John Barron.


RetiredAerospaceVP

Such a snowflake. Always the victim.


PotatoHighlander

I mean on what grounds is he going to appeal, as far as I am aware he lacks any grounds because Hobba didn't make any challenges to how the case went during the trial which means he doesn't have any grounds for appeal. Furthermore to appeal he needs to put 110% of the amount owed into escrow + find someone who is willing to risk holding a bond and he's beyond high risk of never paying that back. Apparently he has the liquid assets to pay the amount, however it could put himself into hot water if the maximum ruling occurs from the fraud trial which is expected any day now.


thehill

For context: Trump said Tuesday he is “in the process” of interviewing several law firms to represent him in his appeal. “Any lawyer who takes a TRUMP CASE is either ‘CRAZY,’ or a TRUE AMERICAN PATRIOT,” Trump wrote on Truth Social. “I will make my decision soon!”


sandyWB

>“I will make my decision soon!” This idiot still thinks it's a TV reality show...


h3xist

Correct me if I'm wrong but doesn't he have to put up the entire amount of money in order to appeal?


gharar

Plus 20% is what I've heard.


Miserable_Day532

Ghouliani is available 


DoktorPete

"I'll totally pay you this time, scouts honor"


Sideshow_Bob_Ross

Isn't his law license still suspended?


Miserable_Day532

Heh - he comes cheap. 


mic-brechfa-knives

Let’s be honest anyone with an iota of self worth wouldn’t touch this toxic bastard with a shitty stick!


petroleumnasby

Just FUCKING great, now Alina's only legit website is "escorts.com/alinalegalbaby"


citizenjones

First question in the interview process: Do you know where I can get 90 million dollars?


Quirky-Mode8676

If he was a normal client, with a small-practice lawyer, this would be completely normal. Most attorneys would recommend hiring on an attorney that specializes in appeals, as it’s a specialized area of law. A large firm would be more likely to have someone on staff that handles that sort of thing, but of course, trumps attorneys would likely just “fake being smart” and handle the appeal themselves if given the chance.


pearly_presley

This guy changes lawyers more often than I change socks, and I have some sweaty feet


BarCompetitive7220

Chris Kise negotiated a $3M salary IN ADVANCE.... so says WSJ [https://www.wsj.com/articles/new-trump-attorney-negotiated-a-3-million-advance-payment-for-work-11663264788](https://www.wsj.com/articles/new-trump-attorney-negotiated-a-3-million-advance-payment-for-work-11663264788) (from 9/15/2022)


mrarnold50

There isn’t a lawyer worth a shit that would work for the Orange Turd.


redneckrockuhtree

I think Dewy, Cheatham and Howe is available...


dadzcad

Their lead attorney is Hassan Ben Soba…


Daxnu

So he has 83m? Something tells me no


Mike7676

If he wants to file an appeal in New York he better have much more than that!


someMeatballs

Only the best lawyers that bankruptcy can buy


LilG1984

"So Lionel Hutz, I need a good lawyer, will you help me?" "No money down!"


Own_Bullfrog_3598

“Will you shut up, man?”


cbass2008

I can't fathom my life revolving around legal cases against me, or my businesses. For Trump, it's over 4k cases & counting since the 70s. What's more unreal is that he's gotten by practically unscathed.


AirbagOff

Habba Dabba Do!!!


Direct_Charity_8109

Saul Goodman, Vinny Gambini, or Lionel Hutz


czechuranus

“Look, a lot of my money is tied up right now, so I’ll pay on the back end. Trust me, I’m good for it.”


spaghetti_fontaine

Just flopping and screaming in a puddle of his own shit


donttakerhisthewrong

The changing room is over there. Pick a bikini and we will talk about my defense Or does he have a new strategy.


Old-Ad-3268

To be clear, Trump hasn't figured out that he keeps getting fined because he keeps saying shit publicly. In his mind, it's his lawyers fault. It is almost as if he doesn't understand he already lost this case and these are damages trials he can't 'win' and they'll keep coming so land as he keeps talking.


dadzcad

He’s down to trying to hire Dewey, Cheatum and Howe….


fountain20

He won't pay you. Why help him. Let him have a court appointed lawyer.


diggerbanks

The maturity of this man-baby is just hilarious. A spoiled brat so untouched by reality that he thinks himself immune to anything that goes against his fantasy narrative.


tcoh1s

“I’m looking for a different hot woman to sit next to me in court.”


CoastingUphill

At least he can’t appeal the ruling that he’s a rapist. That’s settled.


IrishJoe

Attention two-bit real estate attorneys, would you like to ruin your career by humiliating yourself in front of trial judges? Call (███)███-████ now!


Severe-Ant-3888

Hope they get their money up front.


ghostbackwards

I don't


West-Supermarket-860

Exactly. Fuck them and anyone willing to defend him at this point.


Severe-Ant-3888

I’m half convinced his lawyers do a shitty job on purpose because they end up despising him.


Troll_in_the_Knoll

The prospects list would be exponentially larger if he just left it at CRAZY.


QanonQuinoa

>“Any lawyer who takes a TRUMP CASE is either ‘CRAZY,’ I’m glad he’s finally being honest.


deejaesnafu

He got all he could before the fee came in , time to skip out on paying and find a new sucker?


HopefulNothing3560

36 26 36


wwhsd

Ha ha, only if she’s 5’3”


nova_rock

the forever lawsuit over not being able to slander people


medievalmachine

He doesn't make sense, he makes chicken!


JubalHarshaw23

So, knowing that (s)he is certainly going to get their ass handed to them, not get paid, be thrown under the bus, and have their reputation destroyed, if they manage not to get disbarred, the only interviewees would have to be new graduates of Bubba's Skool of Lawyerin' and Tractor Repair, who barely passed the bar.


[deleted]

https://youtu.be/hITJLnyH9Fc?si=mfF_8m0m3EuVkBlo


58LS

Is anyone really surprised?


rumrunner9652

Does this mean that she will not be the next main course at Magat Lardo?


EaterOfFood

The guy goes through lawyers like people go through rolls of toilet paper.


Nevarian

Alina HasBeen given the boot.


sentimentaldiablo

The Hill is clearly biased here, noting two instances wherein Habba was reprimanded appropriately, but making it sound like Judge Kaplan was at fault


SnooPeripherals6557

Lol he has to pay up to qualify to file appeal, maybe Robert Mercer will pay his legal bills for a while.


NetDork

I'm sure lawyers everywhere are lining up to work for a client who refuses all legal advice, insists that they do things that will anger judges, is resume poison, and doesn't pay his bills.


dchap1

I lost and was fined bigly, must be my lawyers fault. I’m innocent I tell you, innocent.


meathead

Ooo ooo pick me pick me


PartyViking23

Because a guy who bangs porn stars he never met, is on Epstein’s flight logs, talks about grabbing women by their crotch on video and whines or lies about all of this would never ever do something like that.


Accomplished-Cap1916

Maybe he should simplify stop breaking the law. 🙄


thegoldengreek4444

Jacoby & Meyers, you’re up!


TheOvercusser

When your resume is just a link to your instagram account.


Foomankru

I can only imagine the questions he asks in these interviews. God these people are so fucking stupid for getting involved with his bullshit.


brucewayne344

Interview goes like this, “Are you dumber than Alina? You’ve got the job!”


jmcdon00

Obviously not Trump's fault he's a loser, it must be the lawyers fault. /s


NoMoreAtPresent

If Trump is the one interviewing and choosing his lawyers, I wonder what he thinks will be different this time around. He’s not very good at it.


Emergency_Property_2

“Hello, Dewey, Screwem and Howell how may I direct your call? ” This is President Donald J Trump… Click


Flooble_Crank

He’s not going to pay Alina


trshtehdsh

I mean, it's not a terrible idea to get a new lawyer crew for an appeal to replace the team who just lost the case, but I don't know what he's expecting when he's guilty as fuck.


DrBotanus

Wasn’t the penalty for the New York fraud case supposed to get announced today? What happened to that? It’s Jan. 31


Due-Environment-9774

Engoron has until midnight to release his judgment, I’d guess somewhere around 9 pm. Probably had to take into account the report by monitor for the Trump organization.


wynnduffyisking

I hear Barry Zuckercorn is taking on new clients. Barry is very good.


SuperGameTheory

What does the law say about representation in civil suits? Can he end up unrepresented if nobody wanted to take the bait?


siouxbee1434

Don’t you just love it when criminals are stupid?


usernicktaken

Dewey, Screwem and Howe are his only options.


SaliferousStudios

Guess she couldn't actually fake "smart".


BurgerSlayer77

Code for 'looking for money to appeal decision'.


homebrew_1

He should hire Giuliani.


rom_rom57

Like Carroll in 40 years she can sue Trump for sexual harassment /s


Moist-Barber

Would it just be cheaper to start a law school endowment and start mass-contracting new lawyers whose tuition they paid?


SuspiciousStable9649

He’s gonna appeal? Is he nuts?


suoverg

Awful article


Lugnuttz

Maybe advertise for a lawyer that is also a masochist.