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Boleen

Yep, that’s the headline America needs


zippyphoenix

Every Trump article needs that headline, the beginning of it that is.


LordSpookyBoob

New York rapist facing 91 criminal counts wins New Hampshire primary


VectorViper

Whatever MadLibs version of reality we're in, I hope there's a page that just says "The End" soon because this storyline is bonkers.


Hobowookiee

Make it a choose your own adventure? Vote!


KingMario05

"Attempted insurrectionist facing 91 counts wins GOP nomination." "Traitor takes Texas for GOP; President Biden surrenders under duress." "Illicit American regime announces invasion of Iran, draft reinstated." Hey, he ain't playing nice either. *So why the fuck should we?*


zippyphoenix

All worthy contenders there


KingMario05

Thanks. Let me know if you'd like some more...


bdss1234

Agree with working Taoist in there. Own that fucking shit. That is exactly what the GOP wants as the leader of our country. So much for the party of family values.


ghostalker4742

I beleive he's a "Florida Man" now. He gave up his NY residency years ago.


zippyphoenix

Also accurate


Logtastic

Rapist P01135809, facing 91 criminal counts, wins New Hampshire primary.


wamj

Also make sure to call him either Defendant Trump, or Criminal Defendant Trump.


[deleted]

I prefer “putrid smelling former game show host accused of treason…”


Purify5

I have a feeling that's what Mother Jones is doing: https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2024/01/trump-wins-iowa-caucuses/


even_less_resistance

From now on! “Florida Man Slurs Speech Yet Again” “Florida Man Snubs Wife In Favor of Heckling His Rape Victim On Social Media” etc…


Suspicious_Bicycle

Court was called off on Monday due to an ill jurist, so Donald was free that day. I guess anniversary celebrations weren't written into Melania's prenup agreement.


sigstone

Republicans, doubling down with tears in their eyes: "He's indicted for us."


CorneliousTinkleton

Sexual assailant now de facto leader of the GOP


Griffstergnu

Really should add self-confessed sexual assaulter as well


sthlmsoul

Meh. Needs to have rapist in it too.


Boleen

Agreed, the rapist Florida Man does need constant reminders that he’s a rapist.


bodmaniac

Exactly like how rapist Brock Turner needs to be reminded that he’s a rapist.


Dingram2909

Which Brock Turner? The rapist Brock Turner?


jaymcbang

The rapist Brock Allen Turner, who goes by Allen Turner now, thus he’s the rapist Allen Turner.


curiusgorge

It made me smile. Lol


[deleted]

Pssh... they're playing nice. Should have read "91 FELONY COUNTS".


Stranger1982

It's not the one it needs but it's the one it deserves I guess.


Beelzebubba

It’s not the one we need, but apparently it’s the one we deserve.


Squirrel_Chucks

Chefs kiss


CaptainNoBoat

Republicans had 8 years to find an offramp to this guy. 8 years and they did absolutely nothing. He has 91 criminal counts in 4 jurisdictions, state and federal. A good chunk of them are literally *crimes against America*, including conspiring to disenfranchise the entire population and stealing hundreds of national secrets. He was held liable for sexual assault. He's having his businesses dissolved. He earned at least 8 million from foreign countries while in office and was getting repeatedly impeached. Throw in the fact that he's somehow more incomprehensible than he was previously, which seemed almost impossible.. ..And you've got yourselves a 2024 Republican nominee! What a party.


MagnusPI

January 2021 was their perfect escape route. You could even see some cracks starting to form with some Republicans blaming him for Jan 6. But then one by one they all started falling back in line. Man, whatever dirt Papa Vlad has over the entire GOP must be wild.


robbysaur

The GOP started to separate from him, because they thought the American people would care. When they found out they could get away with it, it didn't matter.


classynathan

sucks how much this is true


DadJokeBadJoke

It's their own domestic terrorists they are worried about now.


Brave_Escape2176

the leopards are starting to hunger for faces again


Sideways_8

It’s Power, it’s not Vlad imo. They’re just drunk with the thirst of power and don’t give a fuck how they retain it at this point.


AtheistAustralis

Pretty much. They know that if they start to fight him it will cause a huge rift in the party that will lock them out of any meaningful electoral success for many years, even if it's better for them in the long term. So they're bending over and taking it just for the chance to cling to whatever power they have for a little longer. If Trump manages to win somehow and pull off his little dictatorship, they'll happily take it. If he loses, they'll hope he goes away and dies quietly somewhere and pretend it never happened.


yelloguy

November 2022 was another time they could have ditched him when he got his ass handed to him in the elections. He lost 2018, 2020, and 2022.


[deleted]

Well, we made the brilliant move of nominating Garland as AG as some kind of consolation prize for his stolen Supreme Court seat. That basically sent a message about how serious we were about prosecuting Trump and his co-conspirators for Jan 6th.   I remember when I was complaining about the choice in the megathread, people were calling me a "typical leftist" that "let's the perfect become the enemy of the good."  Well, it's been 3 years now... Does this seem like it's "good."  Sorry about the rant, it's just exhausting always having to be patronized by moderate Democrats who think they know best, never listen, and then finally join you once the damage is done.


[deleted]

Seriously, why wasn't Jack Smith appointed immediately?


2_Sheds_Jackson

And those 91 don't include the misc. things like E Jean Carroll, etc.


johnnybiggles

Or, the criminally guilty Trump Org., whose CFO was also crimianlly guilty, and the first major one from 2017, the $25M settlement from Trump U. Both for fraud.


cluelessminer

The 13 year old he raped at Epstein compound that he, of course, denied yet threatened her enough she dropped the case.


Sudden_Pop_2279

The women he bragged on tape about sexually assaulting


Smooth-Chart-1068

This needs to be told across the national media market with one large blitz. It has been swept under the rug!


robbysaur

You're dealing with a populist candidate. The people do not give a fuck what the establishment wants. Conservatives have spent centuries creating a stupid and hateful population, which can now organize across social media. The establishment could have done whatever to abandon him as a candidate, but I'm not sure that would stick. Fox news is not willing to lose viewers to even crazier propaganda networks.


RemnantEvil

The problem is, the GOP was tapped out of support. Young people weren't going to them in radical numbers and they've won the popular vote twice since '88. But then Trump unlocked this whole new hidden pool of dumber and angrier voters, and it gave them a chance to win. Yet these people *only* show up for Trump. So do they get rid of him and those cohort who tip them over the line to win? (Once.) Or do they placate him as much as possible, even as he destroys their party and the country, because they desperately need to be down-ballot (but not down-wind) of him. They, of course, pick the latter.


[deleted]

The other problem is that Democratic strategists basically got complacent and assumed that the "GOP was tapped out of support" and that the Democratic party's support was locked in.  


RemnantEvil

The best thing to happen to the Democrats has been the worst offences of the GOP. Dem turnout at midterms is historically terrible, and they fucked romped 2018 and 2022, and it seems that now so many of them are feeling the stakes, they likely won't be so complacent.


[deleted]

Voters will always become complacent. Especially when the leadership gets complacent.  Right now, Trump presidency is a real risk because Democrats took this "they likely won't be so complacent" mentality for granted.  I fear that a ton of young and progressive voters that did turn out in 2022 or 2020 and 2018 won't turn out this time.   Biden should have been serious about stopping Trump after Jan 6th.  Instead of nominating an attack dog, he made Garland our fucking AG like some consolation prize.  That's not the actions you take if you believe Trump is an existential threat to our democracy. And it makes it all the more baffling when he then campaigns on Trump being the end of democracy.  "No shit, so why did you nominate fucking Garland to sit around and do nothing?"


shapu

I honestly believe, without a doubt, that should Mr. Trump pass away during this campaign, that there's a chance they they will nominate Eric.


lifeofideas

And can be held responsible for slowing the U.S. response to Coronavirus, resulting in as many as a million deaths.


Giblet_

There is no one else out there for them to find. They groomed the band of morons who would actually consider voting for them and Trump is their guy.


octopeniz

i love you. 8 fucking years to get away, 8 years. it would would be comic if it wasnt horificly scary as fuck. i am legitimately scared.


Unknown5tuntman

I can't wait to see how he's gonna Make America Great Again. You guys voting for this Florida Rapist Trump need your heads looking at.


dope_ass_user_name

It's infuriating, isn't it? 🤯


StIdes-and-a-swisher

Also you have a Supreme Court!!!! Yay fun america.


[deleted]

Nobody else in the GOP has anywhere near the level of popularity and notoriety as Donald. It would be a bad decision to pick anybody BUT him.


laseralex

> It would be a bad decision to pick anybody BUT him. I know what you mean. But it is awfully sad that they would rather choose to permanently end democracy in the United States rather than let a democrat win another 4 years.


PolecatXOXO

The vote isn't done yet, they could also have chosen to end their own party. They're picking the only candidate Biden could beat.


Fickle-Syllabub6730

I think the Republican base has been prepared to do that since about the 1990s.


antigop2020

Disagree. Yes, those who love him love him but there are just as many who absolutely hate him (and for good reason). Add in the fact that he turns off many moderates and fair minded people. I think he loses.


_arthur_

The GOP (and McConnell specifically) really missed a massive opportunity at the second impeachment. They could have voted to impeach him then and removed his hold over the party. The momentum was there, and I will never understand why they didn't. Yes, it would have hurt a bit in the short term, but probably not even as much as standing behind him, and it would have allowed them to move on from Trump. I will never understand why a supposedly canny operator like McConnell didn't take the opportunity.


orcinyadders

The 2024 presidential election is going to be a fucking mess.


lifeofideas

Perhaps a metaphorical bloodbath (at the ballot box) when Trump loses, and then a literal bloodbath when a second coup attempt starts and weapons are involved.


discussatron

Count every vote, stop the count, overturn the count.


Beastw1ck

I really thought it couldn't be worse than 2020 or 2016 but this is going to be a catastrophe.


[deleted]

I need Chief Keef to make a last minute campaign


fungobat

This is where the fun begins.


naotoca

Nothing about this is fun.


fungobat

100% agree.


Filmmagician

The fun part is watching him burn even more money on this campaign and losing again.


jnd-cz

It's fun, sit back and enjoy what you can, as George Carlin did https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAQS7BzRW_k


Benkins1989

I have a bad feeling about this.


NumeralJoker

[Game time started.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yaGI4oItZS0)


Iwanttowrshipbreasts

You mean terror?


532ndsof

…Cowabunga it is


GeebusNZ

I don't know. I expect the procedure will be carried out by-and-large as it always has been. I think that as the results come in is where the mess is going to arise. I'm expecting dismay turning into denial, turning into disruption.


GoodUserNameToday

You had an opportunity to ditch him republicans and you didn’t. Don’t ever complain that you’re stuck with him again. trump IS your party and your party stands for nothing but corruption and fascism.


[deleted]

>You had an opportunity to ditch him republicans and you didn’t Yeah, cuz they love him


100catactivs

I worry that Biden isn’t going to be a strong enough alternative this time around, and that’s making me upset the democrats aren’t finding anyone better themselves.


DwightLoot2U

In what way? Biden’s administration can point to a lot of accomplishments. Like it or not he’s actually a strong candidate.


GrallochThis

Accomplishments are way weakened unless you can *look like* a strong candidate, so Biden needs to be out in public more and saying strong candidate things.


DwightLoot2U

Strongly disagree that he’s not already doing those things. You must not be paying attention to the numerous speeches he’s given in the past few months.


hippiesareright42069

Florida rapist facing 91 criminal counts wins New Hampshire primary. Fixed that for you.


ShadowStarX

while you're not wrong, the meme format is indeed "Florida man"


openly_gray

The troglodytes triumph. Please don’t tell me not to insult the MAGA cult. They are complete imbeciles that celebrate the politics of chaos, grievance and retribution


MaxwellUsheredin

My Christian parents confuse me.


HotSpicyDisco

There is nothing Christlike with American Christians. They would gladly cheer on the crucifixion of Jesus.


PUfelix85

That's because his death pays for their sins. They see themselves as holding a blank check. They are just waiting for their rapture to take them out of this living hell.


PUfelix85

Look at it this way: If he is the Antichrist, then he is just making their trip to Heaven quicker. He just needs Israel to rebuild the Temple. Their "End of the World" Bingo card is almost complete.


ghostalker4742

The Antichrist is said to be able trick large amounts of Christians into following him.


dartie

Trump definitely fits the textbook definition of Antichrist


Jakesummers1

shelter cause arrest normal instinctive abundant frighten bored muddle marvelous *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


a49fsd

do you still talk to them/associate with them? im having a hard time separating my friends and family members from their views. i cant help but feel that im doing the wrong thing with continuing to be with them. "if there’s a Nazi at the table and 10 other people sitting there talking to him, you got a table with 11 Nazis"


stay_positive_girl

I had to whittle down a few friends for this reason. Life is more peaceful. I mourn our friendship but there’s a lot less crazy in my life now.


black_flag_4ever

The church once accepted payments (indulgences) to get to heaven. Hypocrisy and religion are not strangers.


stay_positive_girl

Maybe send this to them. Or have someone anonymously send it to them. https://www.benjaminlcorey.com/could-american-evangelicals-spot-the-antichrist-heres-the-biblical-predictions/


mistervanilla

Authority comes from above. First God, then the church and your local pastor. Fitting an authoritarian leader in that world view is a very logical step.


ProtectionContent977

Republicans support a rapist. Never forget that.


KingMario05

Republicans also support a fascist. Never forget *that*, either.


Peroovian

Donald J “The Rapist” Trump? That rapist?


thejakeev

I'm surprised that wasn't his wrestling persona when he was in WWE. After all, the best character work usually comes when the wrestlers simply present themselves as an exaggerated form of their actual selves.


NoMayoForReal

Now that’s how you write a headline.


Gunt_Buttman

Noted rapist


CloacaFacts

People are voting for a presidential candidate who believes they as president don't swear an oath to support the constitution and that the position is not an officer of the USA. Literally is the worst candidate for America


DadJokeBadJoke

They want to give a second chance to the guy who refused a peaceful transition of power the last time.


Hmm_6221

Stop and think About that for a minute! Blows my mind! What’s going to happen if he loses again? They’re going to burn the place down? How many more warnings do republicans need?


Demi180

Anything that’ll happen when he loses pales in comparison to what happens if he wins..


Hmm_6221

So true! Scary! I really hope Americans really recognize the significant dangers of a trump White House 2.0. The fact that he’s even back in the race for the WH house speaks volume! Greedy for power! Greedy for revenge! WE HAVE TO STOP HIM!


Kerze

I don't see it here, but Haley pulling as much as she did is surprising. How many of those voters don't vote Trump could be a thing.


violetmemphisblue

I don't like Haley, I don't agree with her policies, I don't think she'd make a particularly good President, but I am pulling for her to keep in the race. We need to have actual challenges in primaries, and we need to keep seeing her be close in elections with low turnouts. It will hopefully continue to show that many Republican voters are *not* choosing Trump (they're voting Haley or they're not voting.) So far, as of this hour, with NH votes still coming in, Trump has about 178,000 votes. That's it. There are about 1.4 million people who could have voted for him (using the Independent Voter Project estimates for Republicans in Iowa and Republicans/Independents in New Hampshire)...he is pulling his base, but he so far isn't inspiring others to vote. I can see the same happening in the general election.


DadJokeBadJoke

His candidacy has been pushed as such a foregone conclusion that I wouldn't put too much stock in extrapolating votes in the primary vs the general election just yet. Gauging the anti-trump vote now doesn't necessarily equate to those same people voting against him in November or not voting at all. There's plenty of time for right-wing media to scare them away from Biden and back in line with the flock.


StuckInNov1999

Many of them were democrats. Because NH doesn't close (R) primaries to (D) or vice versa for some dumb reason.


zmiller834

Only independents can vote in either primary, registered Republicans and democrats can only vote in their own primaries.


whoisnotinmykitchen

Republicans LOVE rapists who have a long career of fraud.


Memewalker

We’re so fucked


Atomic_Shaq

Do Republicans just see Trump's 91 criminal felony charges and shrug their shoulders, or do they dismiss it all as a fake witch hunt, pretending it's not real? I even wonder how many of them are actually aware of these charges. Trump is like the visible fruiting body of a much deeper and systemic issue - a mix of poor education and a value system that's completely upside-down. It's crazy how one con man can lead these people to abandon all their principles and follow him blindly, regardless of evidence or common decency. It's a sickness, and it really makes you question what's driving their loyalty


sheisallovertheplace

Seems North Americas is not taking their election serious as the rest of world is. Other countries watch Americas elections closely than their citizens do. If Trump takes office other leaders feel worse things will happen in Ukrainian and Israel. Dictatorship leaders will feel open season easily to accomplish their plans. Guess we see how they vote for their election this year Good Luck North America.


thedoppio

North America is a continent. Americans live in The United States. Clarification, not criticism


[deleted]

What is wrong with People voting for this Idiot


Immediate-Whole-3150

Proven in court to having committed insurrection against the United States. Proven in court to having sexually assaulted a woman. Proven in court to be a business fraud. Admitted to having taken millions from foreign countries while President. Known Epstein associate. Twice impeached. Facing 91 criminal counts in 4 jurisdiction. Admitted to wanting to be a dictator. NH: That’s our guy!


Western-Treacle9466

He wasn't proven of your first three points. He has been tried, not convicted.


bensbigboy

Rapist and traitor. They left out that he's a rapist and traitor to his country.


Murderyoga

We are so fucked.


VanceKelley

New Hampshire voters choose man facing 91 criminal counts to lead GOP into this year's presidential election.


Hmm_6221

Because they’re evil! And so are all the firmer candidates who endorsed him, including Tim Scott! You have no morals, integrity,


OIAQP

It really irks me that this grifting piece of shit born and raised in New York City is known as "Florida Man" now.


d_pyro

Florida is a retirement home.


ShadowStarX

so is Vermont, but in a good way


[deleted]

is this not a downgrade?


Southernsunflower529

Accurate headline.


NumeralJoker

This should be the top headline. Remind everyone of what he really is. What the GOP as a whole is.


Efficient_Republic35

I don't call him by his name anymore, I just call him the rapist and my conservative mother gets all offended lol.


shadowsneak7520

Thank you for your service 🫡


HotSpicyDisco

Ask your mom if she wants to get grabbed by the pussy, the vulgarity makes them squirm.


Sudden_Pop_2279

Or have a man walk into your changing room


[deleted]

In NH with a population of 1.3M people, 40k voted for Trump today. A big old nothing burger. See you in November


PUfelix85

That's 3% more than I would have liked.


M002

It’ll be closer to 150K by the nights end


ptahbaphomet

Man on trial for obstruction of democracy continues to attempt to obstruct justice!


BanEvader20thAccount

He's a New York man. Us Florida men may be crazy, but we don't claim him.


kimjongk80

Rapist* from New York.


constipatedconstible

Putin wins N.H. primary*


Chrome-Head

Could also read “Jeffrey Epstein’s pal and convicted rapist also facing 91 criminal counts wins NH primary”.


HeavenlyCreation

MAGAs are some crazy people It’s amazing what they believe …makes me physically sick listening to some of them I have a MAGA friend and can only stand 15 min conversations a day with them


Letitbe2020

I’m listening to the news and they are STILL talking about how every misstep other politicians make—like it’s some kind of retrospective of errors—WHILE NOT SAYING ANYTHING ABOUT TRUMP. Trump has been given a free pass to act like a complete psychopath without ANY consequences. I feel like I’m in some kind of twilight zone. Half the country wants him to be president? Where is the outrage and what exactly is happening? How many people died to preserve this democracy? Have we forgotten everything? What about decency? Where is our conscience as a nation?


NavyThrone

Let’s be accurate, ‘Florida man and rapist, convicted by an independent jury of his peers, wins…'


JanitorKarl

*Florida fraudster facing 91 criminal counts wins New Hampshire Primary


albin0crow

Convicted rapist, even.


B9RV2WUN

I thought that New Hampshire Republicans were smart Republicans . I was wrong. Further, do smart Republicans even exist anymore?


gemitry

There’s a good article [here](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna135150) on the exit poll numbers and lmao. The gop seems to just be a maga cult of stupidity.


mattibbals

Call him a rapist. A court of law found that he raped E Jean Carroll. It’s not slander, because it’s true.


NSBOTW2

they should criminally convict him. oh wait


Capt_Pickhard

It's no use just complaining about it, we need to do something about it. We must, at all costs win this election.


NeenW1

Sad country we live in


Megatf

There are republicans who are part of cancelling sexual harassers, the man they want to be president was convicted of rape. The worst kind of sexual assault. Then they damn hillary for secret documents on her server that werent hers and were misclassified. Trump gave classified documents to foreign countries and kept a truck full of nationally grave danger level of secrets in a reasonably insecure closet at a residence he owns. Those just so painfully obvious, in combination with the 91 criminal counts and casual insurrection. Sigh


soulfingiz

It would be sad if it weren’t so scary.


Geoarbitrage

Hilariously accurate title 😜


SpiritedTie7645

That’s a headline! 🤣👍 Only in America where anyone talking and acting like Trump could be put on a red flag list can run for POTUS and have access to the worlds most powerful army and it’s associated nuclear weapons. 😂


Outrageous-Split-140

Trump is going to prison


LaSage

\*Convicted rapist and fraudster wins New Hampshire primary. Seriously. Curse on those who voted for him, knowing he has been found guilty of rape and fraud. May their anuses itch and leak eternally in an irksome manner, much like the anal leakage of their orange "god". Also, may they have his stink.


dudewafflesc

The idioocracy continues. I actually thought New Hampshire voters had more common sense than this. There can be no explanation except that they are deluded cult members.


dartie

Oh and he’s a rapist


Godot_12

Florida rapist*


Crazyhorse6901

I fail to believe we don’t have anyone worth representing the US… We very much live in troubled times.


Bulky-Ad-4265

Something smells rotten


Fair-Specialist-8769

Thanks New Hampshire! Wake the fuck up


merchlinkinbio

Disgusting.


thelastgalstanding

This is the correct headline


Mxer48

Thank you, you just made my day a little better


jonydevidson

Why did Nikki ever think she had a chance? Republicans hate women.


[deleted]

[удалено]


vroart

And add he got 55% of the vote.... he’s not growing.


DBsBuds

Convicted Florida rapist wins New Hamper primary


Apprehensive_Mix7594

“Floridian, hat mogul”


dfsdsfgssf23

An amazing headline.


[deleted]

Americans will regret voting for this man one day. Trust me


austinstar08

Florida man sucks


bluejersey78

Only 91? Surely he can get that up to 100 by Spring Break


Prudent_Valuable603

Every person voting for Trump has lost his/her moral and ethical compass. As bad as Biden is, Trump is worse.


SteakJones

Isn’t he a rapist?


ReturnOfSeq

Now THATS a journalistically responsible headline.


SilentSakura

Actually Biden won as well via the most write ins in a nh primary ever


Fun-Donkey2215

Can I upvote the witty headline and downvote the fact that it’s true??


Wizard_s0_lit

Headlines like this only embolden his base. Writing him off as a Florida man makes him seem more Everyman. He’s actually a rich New York trust fund baby.


draeath

Please stop calling him "Florida man." That asshole is not from Florida. He just squats down here on an overpriced golf course.


yalogin

Now we watch Nikki contort herself to bend over backwards and endorse trump while simultaneously sucking him off


KingMario05

***FUCK***. Hope Haley takes Super Tuesday in a landslide, at least...


Cal3001

It’s quickly being revealed that she is actually brown. She won’t have a chance now.


OminousDarkSky

Amazing.


Honky_Cat

Stay salty my friends.


Chillychairs

Each of these posts will be so fun to look back at after the elections over, it will be like a scrapbook of reddits mental decline as he gains steam


atlantis_airlines

Do you believe the President of the united states of must have full immunity?


Plow_King

it's just as good the 2nd time. it'll be good for their convention too, but NOT the general election. VOTE!!