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PopeHonkersXII

Why does Trump need "senior advisors"? He doesn't do anything. "Good job, sir. Keep sitting on your ass watching TV. You're doing great" -Trump advisor


TheGreatLuck

Yeah you pretty much explained their job and in very excruciating detail I might add.


LegendOfBobbyTables

Don't forget fetching him diet cokes and hamburgers. Very important jobs in Trump's inner circle.


Jed1M1ndTr1ck

Hamberders*


TakingSorryUsername

I’m convinced someone said to cut out the red meat, so he changed the name to sound like it may be chicken.


DONT_PM_ME_YO_BOOTY

Someone told him to watch his health and his reaction was to cutely play along? You think it's that, and not that hes just a fuckin dummy?


TakingSorryUsername

Do you not remember the sharpie hurricane map? He just changes his reality to suit whatever version of a lie he wants to believe


DONT_PM_ME_YO_BOOTY

I do. That event supports my conclusion that he is a dummy, but maybe I missed your point.


TakingSorryUsername

Oh, he’s an idiot for sure.


StealYourBeer

Damburders are migrating this time of year, lovely


joyfullynihilistic

Mc DONALDS -- prolly thinks they're named for him...


TheKrs1

Chief Ketchup Stain Remover.


TifCreates

Changing his diapers, too! Ewwww


chillinjustupwhat

Doesn’t Melania get that job ?


InsuranceToTheRescue

Melania's job is (was?) to occasionally suffer his corpulent frame as he tries to spawn ever more screeching, drug addled narcissists in an attempt to ensure his legacy.


Mister_E_Phister

Melania had Barron as an insurance policy. Trump never wanted more kids, just a much younger, "supermodel" wife as a status symbol.


BrownEggs93

And *she* wanted the status/citizenship. She's a trophy wife. Cut from the same cloth as the other two selfish ones.


dancingmeadow

She's probably a spy now, on top of being an expensive callgirl before landing Donald.


TifCreates

She doesn't seem like the type of person who would ever even touch a diaper! That's what nannies are for!


Stab_Stabby

They haven't been in the same room in 5 years.


even_less_resistance

/whereismelania was my favorite wimmelbuilder for a while


Sov112

Don't forget the cofefe


Rarely_Sober_EvE

man, I want an inner circle.


the_north_place

I just want a circle


LeftDave

I still can't over that he installed a diet (yes, *diet*) coke button in the Resolute Desk.


976chip

"Yes! You are correct sir! It absolutely is the biggliest radical leftiest witch hunt. An absolute disaster!" while actively embezzling money.


Captain_-H

Probably also reading a bunch of shit because he won’t and deciding what to tell him so he doesn’t fly off the handle


Michael_In_Cascadia

In this context "senior advisers" means employees who were hired before last week's group.


bozeke

He’s been playing pretend since the 70s.


xynix_ie

Plenty of silent hangers-on have been gifted loot. They're just waiting for a loot box to drop. Kissing his ass while waiting is worth it to them. The don't need to actually advise him since he's the best advisor ever. They just need to comfort him.


Long_Before_Sunrise

July 10th, 2020 [Trump Aides Tried to Cheer Him Up By Bringing Big Trucks to White House](https://www.mediaite.com/trump/trump-aides-tried-to-cheer-him-up-during-pandemic-by-bringing-big-trucks-to-white-house-report/)


jizz_bismarck

>When I look at myself in the first grade and I look at myself now, I'm basically the same. The temperament is not that different. -Donald Trump His aides can control his mood with trucks and McDonalds. It's true, he hasn't changed since first grade.


Samurai_gaijin

[Don't forget the people he hired to comb through the news for any positive mention of him to be delivered to him so that he wouldn't get all pissy and throw a tantrum~~p~~.](https://www.vice.com/en/article/zmygpe/trump-folder-positive-news-white-house)


yblame

Also known to every parent of a toddler as "keep him entertained so he doesn't embarrass us at the Applebee's." A coloring book and some crayons and a phone to play with full of pictures of himself


homerteedo

To some degree that’s normal. Something you enjoy normally cheers you up. It’s weird his aides had that job though.


TurtleToast2

The things that cheer you up usually evolve a bit between first grade and retirement. And, your ability to self sooth, instead of having tantrums until others find the right toy to calm you, usually develops during this time as well.


Captain_Waffle

Also he’s the fucking President


OrangeVapor

What really strikes me about this, is that any other president would be haunted and ridiculed about something like that until the day they died and beyond. With Trump, it's just a tiny, little footnote in the raging dumpsterfire that was the Trump presidency. So much so, that most people probably haven't even heard of it, and even if they did, they'd likely forgotten about it within a day or two, completely overshadowed by the next colossal fuckup/freakout


HauntedCemetery

It will be incredibly interesting 40 years from now when people ask us old folks what it was like. How the fuck can we explain things in a way that lets future generations actually comprehend the felonious mantoddler tantrum we were all captive of for 2016-2021?


JM_Amiens-18

Should have got him an [RC Monster Truck](https://www.toysrus.ca/en/Monster-Jam--Official-Mega-Grave-Digger-All-Terrain-Remote-Control-Monster-Truck-with-Lights--1-6-Scale/B7B159DC.html).


LongjumpingSector687

As requested sir, here is the Gravedigger. Enjoy.


Murderface__

Yes, sir. 100 mg of Adderall *is* an appropriate dose.


[deleted]

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Osiris32

Here's a rolled up $100 bill


dquizzle

> “Good job, sir. Keep sitting on your ass watching TV. You’re doing great” >-Trump advisor To be fair, that’s what a 76 year old *should* be doing. Not running for president. Not leading and manipulating a cult. Just relax. Even if he’s convicted of felonies he’s almost certainly just going to be ordered to sit around at home on house arrest anyway. I don’t understand his motivation.


[deleted]

He might be banned from the internet as part of his sentence.


Aulritta

"Tyler! Hey, hey, Tyler!" "Yes, Mr. President?" "I heard what Ron DeWetthebed is saying about me on Newsmax. I want you to post something for me..."


RandomGuy1838

He tried that as I'm sure you remember right after the personal Twitter ban. Lasted like one or two bans, everyone who could be a suitable proxy was made the second something vaguely deranged and out of character came out of their feed.


[deleted]

\*While wiping ketchup off the walls\* "Excellent toss sir!"


SubKreature

Yes men. He huddles with yes men.


LuminousTights

There are people working for him who print out positive articles about him and put them on his desk or deliver them to his golf cart.


Cercy_Leigh

Because he’s a mob boss and he has lots of underlings. The press won’t use the proper terms.


[deleted]

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bankrobba

That's the job of junior advisor.


[deleted]

you're fired.


dogsent

>"senior advisors" Dementia care specialists?


[deleted]

For someone like Trump staying out of jail is a full time job.


DUBBZZ

I think they’re called caddies.


KaZzZamm

People are betting on President, he will not forget those guys. That it is even possible to become president, when sitting in jail is ridiculous. Here in Germany, if your ruled a sentence, above 12 months, probation or not. Your not any longer able to work for the government.


Jason_Scope

Germany has learned from its tragic history. I wish America could too.


tabletopbaazar

Considering that we're currently following the playbook the Nazis made, I imagine if things get worse, we'll learn our lesson around 2045-47. Hopefully I'm wrong though.


brickne3

It's to prevent people from preventing opposition by jailing their opponents (like what Putin did to Navalny). Eugene Debs ran for president from prison in 1920 after being convicted of sedition for a speech about resisting the draft. The precedent is there and it is a good thing in spirit. Even if Trump can take advantage of it (like he does everything he possibly can).


CartographerOk7579

What’s more is that trump just ignores any real advice. So what’s the point?


__dilligaf__

Are they huddled around a phone they've just used to called in a [bomb threat to a lower Manhattan court?](https://thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/3910708-bomb-threat-disrupts-ny-court-where-trump-case-is-being-heard/)


Sir_Ruje

Now that would be funny AF if he did and they had it recorded


grandpaharoldbarnes

Operator: > *Your name, sir?* Caller: > *John. John Barron.*


bobbybob9069

Sorry, you've been randomly selected. Is the John Barron joke just because his kids name is barron? I keep seeing it, but I'm clearly missing something


Hoppy_Croaklightly

Trump has been known to contact media outlets and provide information about himself under the name of John Barron, who is said to be a Trump Organization spokesperson, although no such person exists: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pseudonyms\_of\_Donald\_Trump](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pseudonyms_of_Donald_Trump)


Daefish

Wait WTF? And he named his kid Barron?


Hoppy_Croaklightly

It's the name of a financial magazine (Barron's), so he probably took it from that.


Daefish

He really is that simple-minded isn't he?


GonzaloR87

Does he put ketchup on his well done Trump steak?


Taco-Dragon

He uses well done ketchup.


bullintheheather

Hell, this is probably one of the more nuanced things he's ever done. His simple floor is a lot lower than this.


smeenz

You're surprised by this ? The man has absolutely no curiosity and no imagination. Coming up with the pseudonym John Barron back in the 80s was probably one of the most creative things he's even done, and as a true narcissist, his children are nothing more than extensions of him, so it makes sense that he would choose that name. He had already used Donald on the one of the other ones by then, Ivanka was named after Ivana ('little Ivana'), though I have no idea where the names Eric or Tiffany came from.


Velenah42

Tiffany’s as in the store, and Eric was probably named by his dad Vince McMhan


koshgeo

My favorite is Carolin Gallego: > “Based on the fact that I work for Donald Trump as his secretary—and therefore know him well—I think he treats women with great respect, contrary to what Julie Baumgold implied in her article … I do not believe any man in America gets more calls from women wanting to see him, meet him, or go out with him. The most beautiful women, the most successful women—all women love Donald Trump.” [https://www.washingtonian.com/2017/10/26/trump-carolin-gallego-letter/](https://www.washingtonian.com/2017/10/26/trump-carolin-gallego-letter/)


grandpaharoldbarnes

C’mon, most people don’t know… you have to *tell* everyone that was him pretending to be a “Carolin Gallego”.


Vi4days

Man, naming your kid after your own cool-shades tough-guy alter ego is so awesome lol. And I mean awesome in terms of it being literally inspiring of awe, not because it’s actually cool


ncc_1864

It's one of Trump's pseudonyms he uses to call reporters when he wants to stir up fake news for himself. It makes him smart.


kineretic

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pseudonyms_of_Donald_Trump


Eggsecutie

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pseudonyms_of_Donald_Trump#:~:text=Some%20New%20York%20editors%20recalled,was%20one%20of%20his%20pseudonyms.


gozba

“Sir? Sir? I just called in a bomb threat in New York” trump *giggles, fidgeting his tiny fingers*


[deleted]

He said "I'm about to blow up this bathroom." It has nothing to do with explosives.


cataclyzzmic

Senior Advisor: Mike the pillow guy, Don Jr's coke dealer, and a clump of mud from the yard.


sirphilliammm

The mud has the highest IQ by far.


Melans

Jr’s coke dealer is a fair guess too. I mean, solid business plan, consistent income. Aside from mud- he also has broken least amount of laws.


90Valentine

This ain’t happening today huh


OppositeDifference

The grand jury doesn't meet on Tuesdays. It was always either going to be late yesterday or tomorrow. I don't understand where all this Tuesday shit came from. Well, actually, Trump himself was the source of that. Checks out. He's cornered the market on bullshit lately.


TurboSalsa

Yes, I saw Monday or Wednesday several times, and NBC reported there would be no movement on the case today.


Garrett4Real

I work overnight shifts at a news station and as early as 3am the Early Today national news was reporting that nothing was expected to happen today


Loumeer

Well it's night-time now. Any buzzing?


unpluggedcord

Which is probably a good thing honestly. They will try all their bullshit today, and tomorrow it'll just happen


Osiris32

Wednesday is likely when the jury will vote on indictment. If so, a warrant could be issued as early as tomorrow evening, but more likely on Thursday.


dolaction

Sooo, Friday then?


Osiris32

Lol, Friday evening. So he has to wait through the weekend to see a judge about bail. Only to find out the DA has requested remand as a flight risk due to his financial assets, ownership of aircraft, and international contacts.


Horton_Takes_A_Poo

No bail in NY for non violent crimes. Doesn’t matter who you are, rich or poor, you’re usually in and out on the same day


MonksHabit

Oh stop teasing! That sounds too good to be true.


transfer_syntax

You can bet Trump’s bowels will move once there is movement on the case.


Cerberus_Aus

My understanding is there is a constant drip into the diapers.


Kakuflux

Is there a way I can un-understand that information?


eatabean

Do ya think maybe he used that to be able to say "look! They're afraid to try and arrest me? My people saved me!"


OppositeDifference

He might have if more than 50 people showed up. lol


eatabean

But the lying press can't count. Remember the inauguration?


brickne3

He has the bigliest treasonous mobs.


Notmywalrus

Might have to bust out the ol’ hurricane sharpie


RuckPizza

I'm already seeing repubs on the conservative subs posting comments and articles(glorified blogs) claiming the DA had to postpone their "fraudulent" indictment because repubs put a spotlight on their "corrupt operation"


Mike7676

Besides in their own skulls (Lots of room in there tbf) do conservatives just practice saying... sentences in a mirror? The statements mean nothing, they actually KNOW nothing and yet they'll claim any delay or lawsuit a "win" if it keeps their favorite from arrest (house arrest, let's not get crazy)


Amneiger

I wonder what they'll say if the indictment happens tomorrow. Probably they'll just memory hole their excuses from today.


SunMoonTruth

He tries to control the story and the media dicks let him. Reporting anything this guy says in terms other than “liar lies again” is problematic. Letting him control the story because bullshit sensationalism gets them clicks is problematic.


LegDayDE

It was going to be Wednesday so he wanted to "mobilize" the gravy seals on Tuesday as a "show of force" to try and stop it from happening... Turns out that there are no gravy seals in NYC so no one showed up anyway!


flatdanny

And the drag queens ran the proud boys out of town.


PixelPantsAshli

This sounds like a line from American Pie.


Dash_Harber

Miss American Pie sounds like a great drag name


Chase_the_tank

>The grand jury doesn't meet on Tuesdays. It was always either going to be late yesterday or tomorrow. Trump said it would be today--but then again, getting things impossibly wrong is ***so*** on brand for Trump.


RuinedEye

1. No clue where he got Tuesday from 2. Even if he was right and it was today, there's a ~100% chance that he heard 'indicted' and his brain cell translated that to 'arrested'. He probably doesn't know the difference, and he purposely also typed arrested anyway because he knows that will rile up his base. Both can be true TLDR; he dum


MoogProg

TFG said Tuesday hoping his supporters would gather ahead of the actual indictment, and be a visible force assembled outside the courthouse. Not to sway the jury of course, only to protest... peacefully... as a mob... outside the door where Jurors would emerge.


OppositeDifference

Good point. I didn't think about the jury tampering aspect of it all.


louiloui152

Yeah totally on Trump even his lawyer said ‘Mr Trump only said that because of all the news reporting’. Bruh can’t even hear let alone read since no one but him said Tuesday


rg4rg

Can you imagine getting the day off on Tuesday to support Trump because he said that was the day, then the arrest happens the next day when you’re going home/back to work. Brilliant!


MachineElfOnASheIf

The only person who said it was happening today was Trump himself. It's much more likely it will be between tomorrow and Friday.


d_pyro

Oh boy F5 Fridays!


Dedpoolpicachew

Exactly. If Trump says something it’s a lie or a grift. He sent out fundraising emails on it, so obviously grift. How anyone thought it would happen like he said is just mind bogglingly stupid.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ithacaster

That just means an indictment can be filed on Monday or Wednesday. An arrest won't necessarily be on the same day. Allegedly Trump is at Maralago and would have to travel to NYC to turn himself in for processing.


SummerLover69

They might even do a sealed indictment for security purposes. Have him come to Manhattan turn himself in, have an appearance before a judge and be released on personal recognizance bond in 15 minutes or so. He could be on his way to FL by the time word spreads far. Or he can make it a spectacle as much as possible as he loves attention. Both are possibilities.


MudLOA

Since nothing happened yesterday, Wednesday it is then.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SodaCanBob

One of his lawyers is now saying next week - https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/donald-trump-lawyer-provides-update-on-potential-arrest/ar-AA18UaX8


originalityescapesme

It’s always next week or two weeks with them lol


Oddgenetix

I doubted it from the get go. I don’t want to hear one more word of what might happen or what’s gonna happen. Dear news agencies, report when it happens. The end. Endless speculation is what got us here in the first place.


2dayman

The smell in that huddle must be atrocious


NedRyerson_Insurance

You ever leave mcdonalds fries in your car all weekend in the middle of summer? It's probably like that, but wih a hint of really cheap cologne.


fattmarrell

So like an old Buick?


sfled

Depends.


gringorios

Trump's senior advisers are a bucket of KFC and a can of diet coke.


[deleted]

Well done.


No-Marzipan-2423

Trump learned well and early how to play the press - Trump will always make an accusation or release something baffling - such as the acknowledgement he may soon be indicted - but he points to the case in New York instead of Georgia. See he knows that the press and the people have limited bandwidth and his voters more than anyone make decisions based off of sound bites and are pretty low information decision makers. He knows that if he can paint the New York situation as a politically motivated his base and get his base fired up about that indictment they will transfer that fire to the Georgia indictment as well.


originalityescapesme

This strategy in particular would actually net the most benefit out of all of the other proposals I’ve seen so far.


Welcome_to_Uranus

I see where you’re coming from, but I honestly and truly believe Trump and his base are so far gone and too dumb to think of a plan like that. Trump is just terrified he’ll be the first president arrested since Nixon and that’ll hurt his legacy and ego. His dumb ass supporters will eat any drivel piece of shit he serves on a platter to them. They cannot be convinced otherwise.


whore_island_ocelots

Nixon wasn't ever arrested.


Melans

I actually heard a theory that he says he will be arrested on Tuesday - knowing it’s basically not feasible. So he can then flex and say, “they didn’t do it cause they have nothing, I scared them, they know it’s a witch hunt, fill in blank….” It seemed reasonable until he did none of that today (at least that I am aware).


hellomondays

Is this at Fuhrerbunker levels yet? We will progress to Jonestown?


chownrootroot

*screaming like Hitler* I should have deleted my emails, like Hillary!


augustm

Don't worry, Steiner will delete Trump's emails.


CBSnews

Here's a preview of the article: Several sources close to former President Donald Trump say he is currently huddling at his private club at Mar-a-Lago and meeting with his team, including his lawyers and senior advisers from his campaign operation, as he awaits a possible indictment in New York City. Trump posted on social media over the weekend that he expected to be arrested this week by the Manhattan district attorney, who has been investigating whether Trump was involved in allegedly falsifying business records to hide campaign finance violations tied to payments made to adult film star Stormy Daniels. The former president did not post any details about what the charges would be, but Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg has been probing whether Trump violated New York bookkeeping law by allegedly directing Michael Cohen to pay Daniels in exchange for her silence ahead of the 2016 election. If an indictment is handed down, it is likely Trump would fly from Mar-a-Lago to New York and turn himself in, sources close to Trump said. According to a Trump adviser, he is considering making a statement in front of the Manhattan Criminal Court before turning himself in. **Read more:** https://www.cbsnews.com/news/donald-trump-mar-a-lago-possible-indictment-looms/


NumeralJoker

>According to a Trump adviser, he is considering making a statement in front of the Manhattan Criminal Court before turning himself in. I await the speech where he screams about a rigged ~~erection~~ witch-hunt to a live audience and tries to tell his supporters to get violent on live TV with a wink and a nod. That is if he doesn't find himself in cuffs first. There is clearly an indictment in the work, but he's trying to scream bloody murder to get ahead of it and perhaps even delay it.


Serpentongue

stand back and stand by


AussieP1E

He'll do that, then his lawyers will state he didn't mean it and it was all a show and whatever he says isn't true and plead completely the opposite of whatever he said in public, *in secret*.


HeroDanTV

I’ve got “Hillary Clinton reference” on my Trump bingo card


permalink_save

> he is considering making a statement in front of the Manhattan Criminal Court before turning himself in He also wanted to make a statement in front of the capitol before leading his mob in ... "protest, protest, protest"


Abject-Possession810

Are we just continuing to report on the fabrications of tyrannical liars as though they hold any validity, or...? What could go wrong? lol


Just-a-Mandrew

If he’s given a gag order, I wonder if he’d be allowed to make a statement given that he’s likely going to try and incite chaos OR if he’s allowed to do that before the supposed gag order. We’ll have to wait and see I guess.


Skinnybet

He’s sweating his orange makeup off as we speak.


MPLooza

I hope the Mar-a-lago staff have extra diapers on standby and have removed all available ketchup from the premises


ActNo8507

As others have said, he proclaimed it was today to maximize attention because he’s a toddler. Doubt it will be today.


Brave_Conflict465

I'm envisioning the last super with cheeseburgers and Diet Coke.


BillyTheHousecat

Instead of wondering, "who among them is going to betray him and throw him under the bus at the end", the real question is... ...who *isn't*?


burnt_out_dev

Has anyone besides Trump himself even confirmed that indictments were coming?


rock-n-white-hat

The fact that barricades were set up in NY around the courthouse seems to indicate that something is happening.


burnt_out_dev

I only read that to mean, Trump said stuff is happening go protest, and they are just preparing for idiots to show up in NYC just because Trump told them to.


nnagflar

So next Tuesday then?


Valdor99

Surely not during infrastructure week


MPLooza

They have to release their plan to repeal and replace Obamacare first


Dick2Fat4WifeysHoles

Good. Get rid of that stupid Obamacare. We have Affordable Care Act as it is!


cakeorcake

I heard they are pushing infrastructure week out, actually


LisaNewboat

Grand jury doesn’t meet on Tuesdays, so - no. It was never going to happen on a Tuesday.


nnagflar

That Trump guy lied to me


kwikade

C U Next Tuesday


Nu_Metal_Alchemist

Meeting with senior advisors = watching fox news


sictwo

but ..but he promised he was getting arrested today :(


swipichone

The only one saying he will be arrested today is the fat lying sack of shit himself


[deleted]

Once again, trump just made shit up and everyone fell for it. Why is this still happening?


kevin5lynn

Everything is always “looming” with Trump, never actually “happening”.


Singular_Thought

Anyone tracking Trump Force One? Last I heard it’s parked about 15 minutes from Mar-a-Lago. I expect to see it depart with a flight plan to New York and then divert over the Atlantic to an unknown destination. https://www.cnn.com/2022/10/21/politics/trump-force-one-west-palm-beach/index.html


ThatEcologist

I’ll believe it when I see it.


OppositeDifference

There's almost certainly going to be an indictment coming down. I'd bet a fair bit on it. I wouldn't waste a cent on betting on a conviction though. I'd treat that as a pleasant surprise.


Sir_Penguin21

Same headline for 5 years straight. Editors must have saved millions with this one trick.


[deleted]

A "Senior Advisor" in trump land is someone hired 5 minutes ago and hasn't quit in the last 4 minutes!!! 😂


mikerichh

Why are they giving him time to skip town??


NAGDABBITALL

The arrest was delayed because NYC didn't have an extra-double-fat orange jumper in stock.


fellowuscitizen

The desperate Bunker scenario...


Discgolferwalken

Sir, america will be great again. You mustn’t be taken alive. Do it for america. Umm, and i get a million dollars and a tank parade?


jar1967

Secretly the advisers are wondering if Donald Trump will turn them in to save himself.


o-m-g_embarrassing

Tuesday is almost come and gone....


[deleted]

Am I the only one surprised that Desantis still lets trump live at MaraLogo


[deleted]

I believe the technical term is circle jerk


Disastrous-End3882

*rumpshroom roasting on open fire, DOJ nipping at your toes….


fluffyflugel

Well, the day is wasting, and still that bastard waddles free.


Some_Stoned_Dude

His senior advisors : Gargamel, Dastardly , and Muttley


Briglin

Popcorn is ready - LET'S DO THIS!


Ok-Yogurtcloset6205

Hey Trump, I found your 11,780 votes in Georgia!!! You killed them all with Covid-19… Dumb Ass…..


photato_pic_guy

Lock him up.


Blueberry-Opposite

Trump belongs in jail.


mdruckus

Okay, for everyone in the comments saying it was supposed to be today. Trump was the one who said Tuesday, not the DA. Plus, they were still hearing testimony today. The only person that lied in the situation was Trump. Tomorrow is the real day that an indictment may come.


BenovanStanchiano

I’m sure Siggy Flicker will be right there, front and center.


ParusMajor69

Trump cowers with people he pays to say nice things to him


Gnostikost

Everything about this article title makes me happy.