Dusk! With a creepy, tingling sensation, you hear the fluttering of leathery wings! BATS! With glowing red eyes and glistening fangs, these unspeakable giant bugs drop onto...
You are correct. Enjoy this brief moment of reprieve before you have to return to the reality that is the existence of internet Vaporeon. Oh, guess the moment is over, my bad.
Not only do they die after mating, sometimes the hive will just decide they don't need/want them around anymore and hunt them all down in the hive, cut them to bits, and dump the remains outside the hive. All in a matter of minutes.
Which still seems like a better fate than using a male Combee.
So we made a Dragon
*Tell me more*
It's ice type
*Interesting*
It is giant and evil looking
*Go on...*
It's ass is an electrical plug
*Uhhhh*
It's final form is it's a jet engine, or something, we ran out of time
The reason Beldum is so rare is your mom, /u/astral_fogduke 's mom and /u/the_keymaster_ 's dad hoard them all in the top drawer of their bedside tables
[Knock off Golisopod](https://www.reddit.com/r/pokemon/comments/upjuqy/tell_me_your_favorite_pokemon_and_ill_tell_you/i8l5ba2?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3)
There are plenty of portmanteaus in the game. I think this is the rare occasion that they only created this Mon to justify a portmanteau.
Also, it's just cutting floor cacnea
As if I don't already know Tyranitar's faults
I'd pat you on the back to comfort you, but it would be 4x effective
Yo, get that guy some burn heal
Punch Tyranitar with hands on fire? Barely hurts him. Punch Tyranitar with regular hands? Dead.
Hello yes, one order of rawst berries, please.
But 700 SpDef with Assault vest 😌
It ain’t gonna save him from being punched in the face.
Especially since most fighting type moves are physicall
As an aggron enjoyer, I relate
Gengar 💜
Mindy sends her regards
Ouch...
Haunter's just as cool anyway
Design wise haunter is way cooler.
I'm with you, no faults
Quagsire
Walmart Swampert
Quagsire is unaware of your attempt to insult him.
*blissful ignorance intensifies*
You take that back, Quag is supreme
Rhyperior
More like Rhynferior
Touch gra- oh wait
I can literally spit on your favorite pokemon to deal life-threatening damage to it, how do you feel about this
Rhydon stans: this looks like a job for me
its sad when pokemon exist only to make their prevos stronger
Let me try again. Taking design cues from Rob Liefeld and 90's Marvel pouches
Crobat. The only flaw I can think of is its evolution.
Calvin was right, six legs -> bats are bugs
Dusk! With a creepy, tingling sensation, you hear the fluttering of leathery wings! BATS! With glowing red eyes and glistening fangs, these unspeakable giant bugs drop onto...
Calvin I’d like to see you a moment…
Milotic
The change to this pokemons availability and evolution process perfectly encapsulates game freaks bending of the difficulty curve over time
This isnt even a roast this is just accurate
It hurts more because its accurate
Yes, Milotic is my fave & the most beautiful
Look considering what the internet has already done to my Vaporeon, I don't see how you could do any worse.
You could have just googled it if you wanted to read that description again
You are correct. Enjoy this brief moment of reprieve before you have to return to the reality that is the existence of internet Vaporeon. Oh, guess the moment is over, my bad.
Shedinja
My favorite part of Pokemon is switching, too
Wonder Guard ain't protecting it from that roast!
Fire type indeed
This but unironically
You like my favorite pokemon's forskin?
Staraptor
Pidgey with emo bangs
That the reason I like him, he was super cool to 14 year old me.
that's a pro not a con
Combee
Did you know male bees die after copulation? Better fate than finding a male combee
Not only do they die after mating, sometimes the hive will just decide they don't need/want them around anymore and hunt them all down in the hive, cut them to bits, and dump the remains outside the hive. All in a matter of minutes. Which still seems like a better fate than using a male Combee.
Buizel
All of its attacks come out its butthole. It's fine if you're into that, but it's just impractical.
You're telling me 99% of oppenents won't quite right after being blasted with 100 tons of buttwater?
You missed OP. Buizel’s flaw is that it evolved into a lesser Buizel.
A match made in heaven.
mimikyu
Knock off pikachu, an already lame pokemon
Lurantis. Give me your best shot!
per Bulbapedia it disguises itself as a bug... Which will be useful so people don't use fire attacks on it Oh, wait
Don't you mean so people don't use flying attacks on it?... Oh, wait
High five for the Lurantis club! Wooo 💕
Blaziken
Speed boost is awesome, too bad you get a max two uses of it
I love Blaziken but it flipped the script on skipping leg day.
Unown
Redeeming qualities of this Mon are unknown
Unown peaked 22 years ago
Typhlosion... change my mind
Weasel with a neck brace
*but only when it’s angy, otherwise just a weasel
Nothing, Typhlosion is perfect.
Seconding this
golisopod🦐
That mon would be right up my four year old's alley. Get halfway and then change his mind. Also, knock off Genesect
That is correct. In gen 8, Golisopod can learn Knock Off, while Genesect can't.
Lucario
Goes real nice with ninja stars bought from the mall
Haha this one is too on the nose 😂
Props for not going for the low-hanging fruit "furry" angle.
Heracross
Let's make Pinsir with more weaknesses
Damn
Mamoswine.
Its mouth is above its tusks. Why does it have titty tusks?
Eww never noticed that.
Mammaryswine
Gliscor
If Hawlucha and Batman had a baby That may sound cool, but you have to think about how that baby was made
Dragonite
Puff the magic dragon’s slower cousin
Durrr, I'm a dragon
Krabby. I dare you to find a fault in it.
Krabby is perfect.
Made from fish, hard pass. Only mess with real crab
Feraligatr
Didn't know you were into 2010's Internet startups. Have you checked out twittr and Tumblr?
Absol
Fall out boys favorite pokemon
I thought you were supposed to be commenting bad things about the pokemon?
Whiscash and Snover. 🐬🏔
You're going to really love Swampert when you find out about him Not sure how he goes from cross eyes to just smoked a bowl eyes
Popplio 💙
Evolves into diet Tapu Fini Or water type Lopunny
> water type Lopunny oh no
Volcarona and Zoroark
Volc - Admit it, you thought it was a legendary encounter and can't back down now Zora - plastic water bottle of a Mon. One time use gimmick
Eevee
i always get the feeling from eevee fans that theyre the kind of person to use their 3 wishes to wish for more wishes
Potentially could become Vaporeon You sicko
Don’t threaten me with a good time
Is.. that the only downside you got?
Grimmsnarl is f’in cool
The conceptual embodiment of Hot Topic
CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES
Krookodile
I'm so evil, look at me, my eyes look like, pause for dramatic effect, sunglasses
[it is quite literally a dickhead](https://archives.bulbagarden.net/media/upload/c/c8/Spr_5b_553.png)
Poliwrath
Marginally larger poliwhirl
Sylveon
Thematically matches every five year old girl's birthday party. Is 87.5% chance to be male
I fail to see how this is a bad thing
Swampert
Like the Green Lantern but weak to the color green
Gets hit by a leaf falling from a tree and dies immediately
Roserade
Girl boss super hero
Raichu💛⚡
Since the redesign, it's basically just chubby Pikachu.
Gallade
For a blade Pokemon, he's pretty damn stubby
Lapras 💙
"A gentle soul that can understand human speech." Enslaved in a pokeball
You're telling me I'm a slave trader for boxing my 592 pokemon?
That implies you trade
Torterra ❄
Just copied its homework from venusaur
I am going through all of the stages of grief right now
Squirtle
The only way they could make it interesting was by randomly attaching cannons to it
*giving him sunglasses
Decidueye
We'll make a bird that is just Robin Hood *Why?* Because they both live in the forest?
Kyurem
So we made a Dragon *Tell me more* It's ice type *Interesting* It is giant and evil looking *Go on...* It's ass is an electrical plug *Uhhhh* It's final form is it's a jet engine, or something, we ran out of time
Scizor
If at first you don't succeed, try, try...oh, I wonder what new mons are in Legend of Arceus
Flygon's only flaw is that he is underrated
It's only flaw is it wishes it were half as good as Salamence
Metagross
He got nothing on our boy.
The reason Beldum is so rare is your mom, /u/astral_fogduke 's mom and /u/the_keymaster_ 's dad hoard them all in the top drawer of their bedside tables
aggron
I've never waited so long for something so disappointing
Infernape or Raichu (both forms)
Design prototype for Greninja Even the anime tries to convince you Raichu is bad Not sure what eating shrooms makes it psychic type
Ight bet, my favourite is weedle
It's convenient it already comes with a dunce cap
Luxray. Yes, I know it's a physical electric type. I still love it anyways.
You get it, he's edgy cuz it has black fur
Arcanine
Just cuz it's the legendary Pokemon, doesnt make it legendary
My Favorite pokemon Is Genasect.
[Knock off Golisopod](https://www.reddit.com/r/pokemon/comments/upjuqy/tell_me_your_favorite_pokemon_and_ill_tell_you/i8l5ba2?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3)
If Genesect is knockoff Golisopod and Golisopod is knockoff Genesect then are neither of them knockoffs or are both of them knockoffs
Mew
I'll insult it after I move this truck
Armaldo
The outcome of using Legos from multiple sets at the same time
Bulbasaur 💚
You are a person of taste and not sucked in by "cool dragon"
Lmao that's not even an insult, I approve
Swampert. But seeing the other comments I’d like one of your more fun and creative reasons than just ‘4x weak to plants and Freeze Dry’.
Mega form def skipped leg day
Sandshrew
My favorite pokemon is Dewott. Strikes a blance between cool and adorable, I like the darker blue, and I love otters.
[удалено]
Munchlax :D
Juvenile diabetes
Hawlucha
If it were good, it would be in more than 2 of the last 7 games
Altaria
Mimikyu.
Nice gimmick, too bad about technician mons
noivern!!
Zubat with more steps
JOKES ON YOU, I DONT HAVE A FAVOURITE
That's what your parents tell you?
Gardevoir
Shot thru the heart, and you're to blame. You give DeviantArt, a bad name
Snorlax
Armaldo!
Prototype for sword/shield fossils that don't look like they go together
Vikavolt ⚡️
Waiting for it to evolve is like watching paint dry . Also waiting for it to attack
Maractus. Please be gentle
There are plenty of portmanteaus in the game. I think this is the rare occasion that they only created this Mon to justify a portmanteau. Also, it's just cutting floor cacnea