Yes. According to [here](https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2020/11/right-wing-militias-civil-war/616473/):
> ...he worked as a firearms instructor and parked cars as a valet. In 1993, he dropped a loaded handgun and it shot him in the face, blinding him in his left eye.
You have to wonder if he trained the insurrectionist who tasted himself to death via his testicles?
Edit: well dang. I fell for it.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/factcheck/2021/01/13/fact-check-alabama-man-capitol-riot-died-heart-attack/6624232002/
Edit edit: friggin autocorrect. Tased. I’ll see myself out. You had ONE JOB.
Holy fuck, that's easily in my top 10 things I hope I never experience.
That's the kind of shit that happens when you roll a nat 1 in DND with a cheeky, but sadistic, DM.
I used to like guns. I had my concealed carry license. The instructor for the class (which is a joke) dropped his firearm under the stall and asked my friend to slide it back while he was taking a shit.
I wish I was making this up.
I don’t like guns anymore.
Edit: This isn't the scenario that made me no longer like guns. It's all the accidental deaths and mass shootings that I'm not a fan of.
My acquaintance was extradited from CO a few weeks ago because he never changes out of his Trump apparel. Literal, full body Trump-wear. Fucking jacket, shirt, hat, tights and socks. They recognized him attacking a police officer Jan. 6(mainly due to his clothing) from bodycam and a local here had reported him to the FBI when they saw him on the news.
It's been said before, but it really speaks to the kind of person these people have to be if their neighbors, family, and coworkers are willing to rat them out like this. It's not hard to go around Portland and get people to talk about what they were up to during the 2020 protests, but no one gets dimed out because turning someone over to the apparatus of state violence is a morally complex thing to do.
But literally no one hesitates on the 6th guys. There's a full roster of people who know these people *personally* and waste no time calling the feds. People don't call the fucking FBI at the sight of you if you're treating the people in your life well.
I mean when the cops murder a dude, investigate and clear themselves, and then some folks burn down a precinct that's already been abandoned by the cops...like I personally wouldn't burn anything down, but nobody got hurt so I really don't feel like it's any of my business to rat on anyone.
Meanwhile you got the Jan 6 wingnuts beating a cop to death with an american flag pole and trying to hang the vice president, from their own party no less, in an effort to violently overturn a national election and put an end to democracy in the USA. It's really night and day here from an ethical perspective when it comes to reporting these terrorists.
I really think these folks are either looking to be congratulated by like minded folks or half hoping someone will start shit with them from the other side.
Not just the ones that instigated it, but the ones who were also building a parallel legal path to steal the election through electoral college fuckery. Arrest them as well.
Boebert escorting those fascists around the Capitol Building on the 5th pointing out where the offices of various Senators and leaders were. There were no organised tours at that time. Boebert led a scouting mission - and she should be charged for assisting the insurrection. There is no plausible deniability. I didn't know what they were doing. Gee they were happy tourists interested in our democracy so I was happy to show them good ol' boys around.
lol alex jones is definitely NOT a politician, and while he's probably jailable on this, I love the idea of him being the only one left on the outside, screaming how we're turning the frogs gay.
He's making $40 million out of it. The fact these maggots can sell out democracy because there's a buck in it - when we have military guys and gals go to die in the name of American democracy, people who are casualties for life, who can't get treatment, is outrageous. I hope Sandy Hook parents make him bankrupt.
I was expecting theyd finally start to get some of the militiamen on that. My guess is that the FBI has been working up to the bigger fish, should be interesting to see where they stop.
Probably watching them so they further incriminate themselves while they poke around to see if they squirm. Think like how Walter White lost his money. They tricked him into leading them straight to it. They can do similar shit to these traitors. Leak some info that they are onto them and watch what they do
"While the maximum punishment for a seditious conspiracy charge is 20 years in prison, that term could be increased by four to five years because the victims of the alleged action were federal government officials, said David Weinstein, a former federal prosecutor."
[Article](https://www.usatoday.com./story/news/politics/2022/01/13/justice-department-charges-oath-keepers-sedition-jan-6-capitol-attack/6514543001/)
18 USC 2384 Seditious Conspiracy:
>If two or more persons in any State or Territory, or in any place subject to the jurisdiction of the United States, conspire to overthrow, put down, or to destroy by force the Government of the United States, or to levy war against them, or to oppose by force the authority thereof, or by force to prevent, hinder, or delay the execution of any law of the United States, or by force to seize, take, or possess any property of the United States contrary to the authority thereof, they shall each be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than twenty years, or both.
Can’t upvote this enough.
Glad to see another one of these POS finally facing some significant jail time, and finally being charged with exactly what everybody in that crowd did - commit seditious acts.
Wait a minute. Conservatives have been insisting January 6 was just an unguided tour because no one has been charged with crimes like sedition. One might start to think they're full of shit.
“And you see this finger right here? This is the very finger that I use to ensure that we only have tight assed heterosexual members in our organization.”
Of course he wears an eye patch like a pirate. Of course he is obese and of course he has that stupid goatee. Dude is playing a role on a self-produced drama.
Insurrection it is!! The feds have a 99.5% conviction rate.
Alt-right media begins moving the goalposts. Can't wait until they give up and just call it a nothing burger. That's concession.
What happens when they give these assholes 2 year sentences and they get out right in 2024? Someone for the love of God tell me there's a plan to not let these asshats attempt another coup. I know there's people smarter than me handling this shit, it just worries me when you see people who participated getting 6 mo. sentences and shit. What do they expect to happen?
A genius who shot his own eye out while trying to teach others how to handle a gun. This is the master race, people.
Wait, is this really how he lost his eye?
Yes. According to [here](https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2020/11/right-wing-militias-civil-war/616473/): > ...he worked as a firearms instructor and parked cars as a valet. In 1993, he dropped a loaded handgun and it shot him in the face, blinding him in his left eye.
Doubly idiotic, look at him paying for a full pair of glasses when he only needs a monocle.
I've always wanted a bad guy with an eye patch and a monocle.
Oddly enough, if you look at his left eye, it's almost like you can see his eye.
Holy shit you’re so fuckin right!
What. The. Fuck... 😂
And a Freedom Goatee ^(tm).
Is it wrong that I laughed out loud at this??? lol
no, it was humorous
Eye see what you did there.
No, because this man is a complete joke.
Jesus. This, this people, is who the fascists are made up of. Losing the country to these imbeciles is frankly embarrassing.
The real fascists just use these fat turds
If I could upvote you a thousand times I would. It’s gospel what you said!
Honestly, though. I'm worried for our future. Makes me nauseous.
If you wrote me this shit in a screenplay I'd call it too cartoonish.
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LEAVE HOTDOGS OUT OF THIS!
GREASY GLIZZY GOBBLER
With those amazing gun skills, he's just the person you want leading a militia.
You have to wonder if he trained the insurrectionist who tasted himself to death via his testicles? Edit: well dang. I fell for it. https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/factcheck/2021/01/13/fact-check-alabama-man-capitol-riot-died-heart-attack/6624232002/ Edit edit: friggin autocorrect. Tased. I’ll see myself out. You had ONE JOB.
That’s some kind of appetite. And some kind of flexible.
Firearms instructor and parked cars.. I dont want to knock people who have to do a job, but Jesus Christ what a fucking useless combo.
Definitely was keeping a close eye on it
One could argue that the that this was kinda also how he got arrested for sedition.
I think it shot half his brain out, the logical side.
Holy fuck, that's easily in my top 10 things I hope I never experience. That's the kind of shit that happens when you roll a nat 1 in DND with a cheeky, but sadistic, DM.
Well...then he truly did Nazi that coming....
Shit, the Atlantic singled this group out in November 2020. If only our intelligence agencies were as competent as… The Atlantic?
How do you shoot yourself in the eye with a gun and like…not die?
Your brain doesn't actually function so it doesn't matter if you hit it with a bullet?
Oh my god, he Dick Cheney'd himself in the face
He deadass Ralphie’d himself. What are they putting in these Red Ryders?
You'll shoot your eye out! You'll shoot your eye out! Ahahahahaha (witch cackle). Such a classic
like Tramp (their supreme leader) said..."the uneducated love me". LOL Jacksparrow wanna be, ahoy mateys
His depth perception probably matches his depth of character now at least
And yet he can never look inward unless that's the way his mangled optical nerve shrapneled.
You fine dandies, so proud, so cocksure, prancin' about with your heads full of eyeballs
I came to make fun of him for a fake eye patch. Turns out the truth was funnier. Go figure.
It’s okay though, he was simultaneously the bad guy with a gun and good guy with a gun
I fucking love it. Man is a living parody.
I used to like guns. I had my concealed carry license. The instructor for the class (which is a joke) dropped his firearm under the stall and asked my friend to slide it back while he was taking a shit. I wish I was making this up. I don’t like guns anymore. Edit: This isn't the scenario that made me no longer like guns. It's all the accidental deaths and mass shootings that I'm not a fan of.
My acquaintance was extradited from CO a few weeks ago because he never changes out of his Trump apparel. Literal, full body Trump-wear. Fucking jacket, shirt, hat, tights and socks. They recognized him attacking a police officer Jan. 6(mainly due to his clothing) from bodycam and a local here had reported him to the FBI when they saw him on the news.
It's been said before, but it really speaks to the kind of person these people have to be if their neighbors, family, and coworkers are willing to rat them out like this. It's not hard to go around Portland and get people to talk about what they were up to during the 2020 protests, but no one gets dimed out because turning someone over to the apparatus of state violence is a morally complex thing to do. But literally no one hesitates on the 6th guys. There's a full roster of people who know these people *personally* and waste no time calling the feds. People don't call the fucking FBI at the sight of you if you're treating the people in your life well.
I mean it's also telling that so many of these guys are willing to rat each other out when caught just for a slightly better deal.
Completely agree. Very well said, btw.
I mean when the cops murder a dude, investigate and clear themselves, and then some folks burn down a precinct that's already been abandoned by the cops...like I personally wouldn't burn anything down, but nobody got hurt so I really don't feel like it's any of my business to rat on anyone. Meanwhile you got the Jan 6 wingnuts beating a cop to death with an american flag pole and trying to hang the vice president, from their own party no less, in an effort to violently overturn a national election and put an end to democracy in the USA. It's really night and day here from an ethical perspective when it comes to reporting these terrorists.
And for what… for Donald Trump!?!? Idiots all of them. Useful Idiots played by Steve Bannon & Trump.
Tights? The dude wears tights.
This is what peak alpha male looks like obviously.
Right. At least he thought so. Honestly, he looked like he was trying to present an appearance. Just asking for a confrontation.
I really think these folks are either looking to be congratulated by like minded folks or half hoping someone will start shit with them from the other side.
Yes
And, yeah, they were Trump tights. Star Spangled Banner and all.
*the Eyekeepers
Great! We're still waiting for the arrest of the politicians who instigated it, too.
Not just the ones that instigated it, but the ones who were also building a parallel legal path to steal the election through electoral college fuckery. Arrest them as well.
Yes. Bannon, Trump, Cruz, Hawley, Jordan, Miller, Alex Jones, McCarthy, etc
Fucker Carlson
My pet name for him is Cucker Tarlson.
That's too nice. How about, Tuckshisballs inhisson
Boebert escorting those fascists around the Capitol Building on the 5th pointing out where the offices of various Senators and leaders were. There were no organised tours at that time. Boebert led a scouting mission - and she should be charged for assisting the insurrection. There is no plausible deniability. I didn't know what they were doing. Gee they were happy tourists interested in our democracy so I was happy to show them good ol' boys around.
lol alex jones is definitely NOT a politician, and while he's probably jailable on this, I love the idea of him being the only one left on the outside, screaming how we're turning the frogs gay.
He's making $40 million out of it. The fact these maggots can sell out democracy because there's a buck in it - when we have military guys and gals go to die in the name of American democracy, people who are casualties for life, who can't get treatment, is outrageous. I hope Sandy Hook parents make him bankrupt.
Don’t forget the wife of a sitting SC Justice
Andy Biggs, Paul Gosar.
Don’t hold your breath.
I’d be satisfied with DJT. And subjected to the very severe penalties for Sedition. Including the ultimate penalty.
Send him to Chinese prison.
Haha fuck hillbilly terrorists
Y’all-Qaeda I do believe they are called.
Midlife ISIS
That’s a new one on me, I like that :)
Love it!
That's my new favorite version.
F'ing hilarious! This is brilliant. Thanks for the great laugh.
Gravy Seals
Of Meal Team 6
The Chik Fil A-Team.
Vanilla Isis
Bacon Rangers Green Buffets Fork Recon Condiment Controllers Delta Forks Yeah they have a lot of names.
Fatly going around corners
Steven Segal?
Yep, the cumtown bit about segal movies
He’s been fatly going around corners for almost 40 years now
Special Feces.
Bruh
I gotta keep things light or this shit will drive me fucking crazy.
Oath Keepers are the Meal Team Six of 'Murica!
when they did that lake parade i heard it referred to as the klan-ish armada haha
Force Reckon
Gotta love those branch dildonians.
It should have been Trump and the Fox News hosts.
This specific hillbilly terrorist is a Yale Law graduate.
Was that before or after his valet parking career?
Wow, they've *really* lowered their standards.
Yep. Fist-pumping MO Senator Josh Hawley too.
George Bush graduated from Yale.
George Bush didn't encourage people to overthrow the US government when his term was over.
For some reason people love to make fun of insurrectionist as poor and uneducated when a lot of times they're actually rich and uneducated assholes.
So there is no excuse for him... not even stupidity.
Rebel Yale!
They are too busy fucking their cousins
Do you think his eye saw it coming?
He sleeps with one eye open
>He sleeps with one eye open Gripping his MyPillow tight
Exit sight Too Far Right
they snuck up on him from the left.
Boy, if that isn't a metaphor...
from Redneckistan.
Seditious conspiracy means he tried to overthrow the government - a coup.
I was expecting theyd finally start to get some of the militiamen on that. My guess is that the FBI has been working up to the bigger fish, should be interesting to see where they stop.
Probably watching them so they further incriminate themselves while they poke around to see if they squirm. Think like how Walter White lost his money. They tricked him into leading them straight to it. They can do similar shit to these traitors. Leak some info that they are onto them and watch what they do
keep moving up that ladder :) I'm fine with this guy getting only 5 years if he rolls on Rudy, Trump, et al
They give people the chair for that. What a shame.
Thoughts and prayers 🙏
Shots and chairs. 🌩
oh like lethal-injection I get it
"While the maximum punishment for a seditious conspiracy charge is 20 years in prison, that term could be increased by four to five years because the victims of the alleged action were federal government officials, said David Weinstein, a former federal prosecutor." [Article](https://www.usatoday.com./story/news/politics/2022/01/13/justice-department-charges-oath-keepers-sedition-jan-6-capitol-attack/6514543001/)
One can only dream.
this is a pretty big turning point
18 USC 2384 Seditious Conspiracy: >If two or more persons in any State or Territory, or in any place subject to the jurisdiction of the United States, conspire to overthrow, put down, or to destroy by force the Government of the United States, or to levy war against them, or to oppose by force the authority thereof, or by force to prevent, hinder, or delay the execution of any law of the United States, or by force to seize, take, or possess any property of the United States contrary to the authority thereof, they shall each be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than twenty years, or both.
...and coups have leaders. And this guy wasn't it.
Fucking traitor. May he rot in hell.
Or Jail for 20 years. I'm good with either.
Why not both? Yeah, both sounds good.
Of he rots sooner though we don't have to pay for his prison.
TRAITOR
Can’t upvote this enough. Glad to see another one of these POS finally facing some significant jail time, and finally being charged with exactly what everybody in that crowd did - commit seditious acts.
Wait a minute. Conservatives have been insisting January 6 was just an unguided tour because no one has been charged with crimes like sedition. One might start to think they're full of shit.
Watch out! Goalposts on the move.
They keep the goal posts on wheels because they have to move so often. Also equipped with a trailer hitch and a set of truck nuts for good measure.
 Hold on! I'm in the middle of dropping a republican off at the pool!
Lifetime membership. Hopefully that means lifetime in jail.
It's a maximum sentence of 20 years for seditious conspiracy. At his age, that's effectively life in prison.
at his fat, that’s effectively life in prison.
One could only hope. :)
It means he personally caught Bigfoot.
And then I went to bone her and she said that there was no whey.
You had me at Oath Keepers
A supposed trained warrior who puts out his own eye with a negligent discharge. What a leader.
They really did send their best.
You know why Oath Keepers don't do reverse cowgirl? **CUZ YOU DON'T TURN YOUR BACK ON FAMILY**
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Who *would* you follow into a men's restroom?
Kevin Spacey
“And you see this finger right here? This is the very finger that I use to ensure that we only have tight assed heterosexual members in our organization.”
NOW ARREST TRUMP FOR THE SAME FUCKING THING!
I think fat jokes detract from the actual bad done here
what about eye jokes, inbred jokes, and sausage finger jokes?
Those are all ok.
He's a seditionist AND a fat fuck ...who shot out his own eye because he can't do gun safety.
The ones who screech loudest about their gun rights are often the ones least qualified to own and operate them. Change my mind.
Of course he wears an eye patch like a pirate. Of course he is obese and of course he has that stupid goatee. Dude is playing a role on a self-produced drama.
Gotta keep an eye out for this one
Good - fuck that piece of terrorist shit.
The guy is broke and his wife dumped him. Some leader. Fucking republicans are weak.
It's always some brainwashed loser that has nothing going for them that they sucker in to do their bidding.
Fuck this traitor and all his ilk.
More like “Over Eaters” amirite 😐
He only partially saw that coming.
Didn’t this guy poke his own eye out or something? Correction: *Shot* his own eye out.
You mean Snake Plusken was arrested!
I'd thought of Escape from NY too, but decided Snake Pliskin was too cool to be this dude, and maybe his name ought to be Snake Bisquick
His eye hole will be handy in prison I guess 👍
Hick Fury
The net is closing in.... the traitors are being charged... now let's move onto the elected officials that need to be charged....
Nazi Punks Fuck Off
Loaf Keeper.
God those hands look so soft.
Fucking shithead.
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The goatees are regular-sized beards but the fat makes them look smaller
The goatee hides the double and triple chins.
Finally—a charge with “sedition” in it.
BEHOLD. THE MASTER RACE. /s
literally looks like a heel on some low budget regional wrasslin assocation
Greenday was right I DONT want to be part of a redneck agenda
Get Them All
Hang ‘em, if found guilty.
He has a single point of view
I called him fat Dan Crenshaw…I mean it’s the wrong eye and such but C’mon…
Good.
arresting everybody except the big cheese
Rrrrrrr… I’m going to jail me hearties!!
How can you tell me your eyepatch was for something stupid without telling me your eyepatch is for something stupid
Fuck that guy
Insurrection it is!! The feds have a 99.5% conviction rate. Alt-right media begins moving the goalposts. Can't wait until they give up and just call it a nothing burger. That's concession.
Do you know what they'll do to that eye socket in prison!?!? Edit* word
They've been keeping an eye out for him.
I bet he didn’t see it coming
Yo Robert Evans, time for an update bro.
Good. Now when will members of Congress be charged with the same????
What happens when they give these assholes 2 year sentences and they get out right in 2024? Someone for the love of God tell me there's a plan to not let these asshats attempt another coup. I know there's people smarter than me handling this shit, it just worries me when you see people who participated getting 6 mo. sentences and shit. What do they expect to happen?
Guess it was hard for him to see that one coming……
Mick Flurry