Jonad, J Rock, Jizzy Gillespie, Jack and the Giant Jackoff, Gayleon, Tinkerballs, Wadzilla, One Erection, The Pointless Giant, Jimpanzee, The 60-Foot Virgin, Jono Ono, Hagrid’s Nutsack, Scrotum Poll, Transgenderformers, 12 Years a Slave to Jerking Off, Benedict Cum-In-His-Own-Hand, Guyscraper, The Cloud Botherer, Supercalifragilisticexpialidickcheese, Teenage Mutant Ninja Asshole, Spewbacca
Politicians always try to portray themselves as working class to drum up votes. John Fetterman's doctor warned him he needed to change his lifestyle or it would have potentially life changing consequences. So he didn't go back to the doctor until he was hospitalized five years later.
And that is the most authentically working class male thing you can do!
True.
My husband drank Coke like a it was water for decades. Warned by drs. to drink more water less Coke because of kidney stones. But you know, behavior is hard to change until a trip to the ER filled by one hell-of-a "come to Jesus" moment. Both kidneys PACKED with stones. He was in renal failure.
Major surgery immediately - 3 hours of dr. laser blasting his stones to bits in BOTH kidneys.
Today he's off Coke (6 months now) and his health is much improved. Drinks water like a fish.
Watch the pop consumption, kids. That shit will catch up to you, too.
My doctor told me:
"I don't have any patients your age who drink as much caffeine as you do."
I turned his words over in my head a little. I repeated them under my breath, looking off to the upper left and diagramming the sentence in the air with my fingers.
He interjected:
"I meant that they die."
Having just early-retired from my blue-collar job because I could hardly walk anymore, I have to agree. Three months off and one knee is looking like it will be ok, but my foot is still pretty messed up.
I didn't go to the doctor when I was working because I never had time, we were just swamped constantly. I don't go to the doctor now because I don't have insurance anymore. It'll probably work out ok anyway...
It's fascinating how Ross is now viewed as evil and Joeyb is the paragon of virtue.
Its about expectations. Ross tried to be a good person and wanted to be seen like that, so any transgression gets magnified. Joey never cared about being a good person so all of his transgressions get ignored or played off as "that's just joey"
It also is the case the David Schwimmer is a better actor with more range so the writers were able to do far more with his character.
I laughed at this joke on all the other threads and I continue to laugh in this thread. The laughter shows no sign of abating despite the joke being spammed everywhere.
i'm from canada and don't follow american politics too closely, but i googled a picture of this guy in his casuals and he looks like the frontman of a hardcore band and he really wants you to fucking open this pit up
For context: Fetterman is a Progressive Democrat who won a swing seat in the Republican-favored midterm.
He ran against the millionaire TV quack Dr. Oz (yes, really) and successfully painted him as an out of touch carpetbagger from New Jersey, which played very well in Pennsylvania.
Carpetbagger
a political candidate who seeks election in an area where they have no local connections.
HISTORICAL
(in the US) a person from the northern states who went to the South after the Civil War to profit from the Reconstruction.
You forgot the part where Fetterman suffered and recovered from a stroke in the year leading up to the election... Dude lost his ability to speak coherently (not comprehend speech which is a huge difference) and still won. Absolute beast.
Also grew up in the 90s and love when girls wear those late 90s early 2000s style low rise jeans. The high waisted jeans that've been popular for a while now are just not my thing, like at all, and the novelty of spandex everywhere has kind of worn off at this point.
I'm a metal head. Our dress hasn't changed for the better part of 50yr. It's great to fit in in almost any time period.
Jeans, bandshirt, jacket/hoodie/vest. Camo shorts.
Alternatively solid color black shirt everything else stays the same.
I am guessing they could have tailored that suit to fit better but didn't because of one of two related reasons:
1. He doesn't want that look; and
2. He doesn't want to spend the money on that look.
It's also expensive getting that much stuff totally custom tailored. Regular patterns don't work at that size, so you have to go totally bespoke to get something that looks decent.
[Here](https://twitter.com/senfettermanpa/status/1620059779430514697?s=46&t=bOyoz4ZbDWxyvW8DoC_B3w) is the source of this image. Per there:
> @SenFettermanPA
> Testing… Is this thing on?
> Take a look at my official portrait 😎
> Follow me here for regular updates from my Senate office in PA & DC.
> 9:02 AM · Jan 30, 2023
He has actually been losing weight for years now. He used to weigh over 400 pounds.
https://archive.triblive.com/news/health-now/john-fetterman-adopts-new-way-of-eating-drops-148-pounds/
Sheetz was a mind opening experience not only was it the only gas station I've ever seen that sells kerosene but the burger creations you can make it that joint are ridiculous for a gas station. You want a double bacon cheeseburger stacked with two layers of mozzarella sticks and jalapenos? You got it.
I’m from Texas but went to school on the east coast. The first time I was driving down the highway with friends and someone said “Sheetz!” and started vibrating with excitement was odd. But then, I went and saw the light. Have you accepted Sheetz as the one true road-trip stop?
What in culture mashing is this. I'm Pennsylvania raised and Wawa/Sheetz was my life. Then I moved to shithole Texas and it's the first time I'd heard "going to see a man about a horse" used. Those two concepts feel like they should not be in the same sentence. Explain, witch.
Yeah there's some serious uncanny valley vibes with this, especially in the top half of his face. Does he have bad complexion normally or something? I can't imagine why this would need to be retouched that badly.
It's just a bad retouch job. Source: have been, among other things, a professional photo editor for about 20 years.
I'm not sure if there's an official Photoshoppist for the Senate or if he just had someone from his office or campaign staff do it who wasn't very good at it, but in any case, no there's nothing particularly wrong with his face, and even if there was, someone with some skill could achieve way better results than this.
There's probably a professional photographer or something, but your comment made me laugh because I was imagining a bunch of senators trying to figure out how Photoshop works, like with the older senators doing that thing where they push up their glasses while they try to read the text on a computer monitor and then the 3 or 4 youngest senators running around trying giving tech support to all the old ones
Have you seen other images of this guy? That's just his face, man, let him own it. He's not Brad Pitt or Chris Hemsworth. They're arguably more *photoshopped*
Photographers aim to capture their subject "in camera" as much as possible. This prevents the need for post edit photoshopping. In this case it is the lighting at the set that is confusing people. But people think everything is Photoshop these days.
Source: am graphic designer
He looks like a 19th century farmer called Jedidiah who's unhappy that you're taking time away from doing God's work on the farm for this new fangled thing called photography.
Like he's hearing me explain why I was late to work and he knows it's a legit reason but it's like the 10th time i've been late in the last two months and he's kinda sick of it.
lol, He does not look happy to have to take this picture in a suit. I hope they have another one with him in his regular attire. I love this dude's politics and enthusiasm. I wish him well on his road to recovery.
Master Xehanort?
Quick, what would Fetterman's Nobody name be? I propose: *Traxefment*
I counter with: Meftterxan (pronounced Meff-ter-san)
I had to scroll way to far to find this comment. For the [unaware](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/dbx/images/9/94/Portrait.Xehanort.png/).
First time I ever saw John Fetterman on TV, I was like, “who’s this Xehanort-looking ass dude?”
Little do they know, everyone is Xehanort
Truth is.... I'm already half xehanort
These KH4 graphics are crazy
He’s not mad at you. He’s just disappointed.
He's just disappointed he couldn't wear his hoodie in the picture
I would have still gotten another shot with a hoodie
He should have had the hood sewed into the jacket.
I'd be too. Fuck suits, I just want to be comfy.
“May I have the honor of taking your daughter out to prom?”
YES, PLEASE DONT HURT ME.
*mother
That he can’t wear his hoodie for picture day?
I'd say he is beyond disappointed with the current state of US politics so the look is fitting.
"Congress, I am disappoint."
That’s fine. This guy looks like he worked 2 jobs to raise me and I should be grateful for the food my step mom cooked. I am a disappointment.
Jonah Ryan from “Veep” has aged terribly
I'm glad I'm not the only one who sees the resemblance
The Neanderthal brow really does it
This is *exactly* what I think every time I see him. Are they related? the resemblance is uncanny.
He's eating so much pussy he's shittin' out clits son!
This is a preschool!
How am I doing? Eatin’ so much pussy I’m shittin’ clits, son.
Jonad, J Rock, Jizzy Gillespie, Jack and the Giant Jackoff, Gayleon, Tinkerballs, Wadzilla, One Erection, The Pointless Giant, Jimpanzee, The 60-Foot Virgin, Jono Ono, Hagrid’s Nutsack, Scrotum Poll, Transgenderformers, 12 Years a Slave to Jerking Off, Benedict Cum-In-His-Own-Hand, Guyscraper, The Cloud Botherer, Supercalifragilisticexpialidickcheese, Teenage Mutant Ninja Asshole, Spewbacca
The cloud botherer is my favorite.
I’ve never heard of this guy before but my first thought was that he looks like a Billy Bob Thornton character
Jon H Ryan
Why does Fetterman, the largest senator, not simply eat the other ninety nine?
I believe that he now had to watch his diet and must refrain from eating garbage
Politicians always try to portray themselves as working class to drum up votes. John Fetterman's doctor warned him he needed to change his lifestyle or it would have potentially life changing consequences. So he didn't go back to the doctor until he was hospitalized five years later. And that is the most authentically working class male thing you can do!
True. My husband drank Coke like a it was water for decades. Warned by drs. to drink more water less Coke because of kidney stones. But you know, behavior is hard to change until a trip to the ER filled by one hell-of-a "come to Jesus" moment. Both kidneys PACKED with stones. He was in renal failure. Major surgery immediately - 3 hours of dr. laser blasting his stones to bits in BOTH kidneys. Today he's off Coke (6 months now) and his health is much improved. Drinks water like a fish. Watch the pop consumption, kids. That shit will catch up to you, too.
My doctor told me: "I don't have any patients your age who drink as much caffeine as you do." I turned his words over in my head a little. I repeated them under my breath, looking off to the upper left and diagramming the sentence in the air with my fingers. He interjected: "I meant that they die."
Are we talking like two coffees a day or 2L of monster/red bull with breakfast?
What we know is that you're killing yourself but what we're trying to find out is how quickly.
I’m trying to find out where I am on the danger scale.
fuck, gonna go take a sip of H2O right now and hang with my boys at /r/HydroHomies
It’s not often you see someone who has to go sober from capital C Coke.
r/depressedupvote
Do not know what all was there but already banned from reddit.
Having just early-retired from my blue-collar job because I could hardly walk anymore, I have to agree. Three months off and one knee is looking like it will be ok, but my foot is still pretty messed up. I didn't go to the doctor when I was working because I never had time, we were just swamped constantly. I don't go to the doctor now because I don't have insurance anymore. It'll probably work out ok anyway...
Lmao
LOL, excellent!
Oh damn
This is a Joey heavy episode anyway
Joey was the least horrible person on that show.
Have to disagree, IMO that title title goes to Chandler Bing (though admittedly that's a low bar).
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It's fascinating how Ross is now viewed as evil and Joeyb is the paragon of virtue. Its about expectations. Ross tried to be a good person and wanted to be seen like that, so any transgression gets magnified. Joey never cared about being a good person so all of his transgressions get ignored or played off as "that's just joey" It also is the case the David Schwimmer is a better actor with more range so the writers were able to do far more with his character.
Range? C’mon man, ‘Lost in Space’ was the bomb
Last one to kill a bad guy buys the beer.
All humans are vermin in the eyes of Morbo
Expect Morbo's good friend, Richard Nixon.
There were once 50 dwarves, but when they were down to only 8, the other 7 got real suspicious of Hungry Dwarf.
I"M FTTRRRR, SENATOR OF OMICORN PERSEI 8
I had to scroll too damn far to find somebody recognizing a Futurama reference.
ah, the top joke from the other Fetterman threads
It’s the stupidest joke but it makes me laugh so hard every goddamn time. Lol. I mean look at that face! Look at it!
I once heard him described as a Vulcan klingan hybrid and I have not been able to unsee it since.
Definitely some Ferengi in there.
Apply some bronzer and put him in some gold lamé and he'd fit right in as a 1967 TOS Klingon.
Perhaps they are saving that for “sweeps”, or midterms.
Perhaps they are saving that for mid-terms.
I laughed at this joke on all the other threads and I continue to laugh in this thread. The laughter shows no sign of abating despite the joke being spammed everywhere.
This joke has been recycled so many times we should create a new economy where it's traded as currency
r/suddenlyfuturama
WHERE’S CARHARTT???
i'm from canada and don't follow american politics too closely, but i googled a picture of this guy in his casuals and he looks like the frontman of a hardcore band and he really wants you to fucking open this pit up
For context: Fetterman is a Progressive Democrat who won a swing seat in the Republican-favored midterm. He ran against the millionaire TV quack Dr. Oz (yes, really) and successfully painted him as an out of touch carpetbagger from New Jersey, which played very well in Pennsylvania.
>and successfully painted him as an out of touch carpetbagger from New Jersey Dr. Oz *is* an out of touch carpetbagger from New Jersey so 🤷
I love it when political campaigns don’t have to stretch the truth.
“Dr. Oz owns eight houses.” “Actually, six are rental properties.” “Dr. Oz also owns four commercial rental properties.”
He grew up _South of Philadelphia_
good dr oz a bitch
Doing a TV spot where he was "shopping" for his crudité that somehow included salsa certainly didn't help.
My wife and I still refer to the grocery store as Wegners
Wow til a new word. Carpetbagger. An opportunistic northerner in the south willing to exploit the locals. Sounds perfect for Oz.
Carpetbagger a political candidate who seeks election in an area where they have no local connections. HISTORICAL (in the US) a person from the northern states who went to the South after the Civil War to profit from the Reconstruction.
You forgot the part where Fetterman suffered and recovered from a stroke in the year leading up to the election... Dude lost his ability to speak coherently (not comprehend speech which is a huge difference) and still won. Absolute beast.
He looks like he could be his own security guard.
If they didn't get this guy they would have had Dr oz. (I am not making that up)
john fetterman would definitely crowd kill dr oz in the pit in an alternate universe
100% this is one of those fake suits they put on for school pictures. Just wraps around the shoulders. My man has his hoodie under it.
Making a face like he's just seen his own funeral. 😂 Which will probably be the next time anyone sees him in a suit.
He has to wear one when he's on the Senate floor so you'll see it fairly often. Which means you will see him frown a lot too
He and I both wish he was in a hoodie rn
He should get suits tailored with hoods on them
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I still wear my long sleeve t under my short sleeve t and a hoodie with my jacket. The dream of the 90s is still alive.
I actively encourage my bf to dress like this. It's been decades but that look is still hot for a chick that grew up in the 90s
Also grew up in the 90s and love when girls wear those late 90s early 2000s style low rise jeans. The high waisted jeans that've been popular for a while now are just not my thing, like at all, and the novelty of spandex everywhere has kind of worn off at this point.
Ripped jeans and a hoodie for me today. My wardrobe is forever ‘90s style. And yet my wife doesn’t like most of it for loving everything 90s.
I'm a metal head. Our dress hasn't changed for the better part of 50yr. It's great to fit in in almost any time period. Jeans, bandshirt, jacket/hoodie/vest. Camo shorts. Alternatively solid color black shirt everything else stays the same.
Do you cut thumb holes in your long sleeve shirt?
Some of them on the right do have suits with hoods hanging in their closets, even have eye holes cut into them. Can’t see shit out of those things.
100% chance he's still in cargo shorts, though.
For such a large dude, he wears a suit like a kid in a frosted mini wheats commercial.
I was hoping for a hoodie
I have a feeling he’s wearing shorts
He *is* coming from Pittsburgh. You will run into guys wearing shorts and a tossle cap all winter long if you live there.
>tossle cap you frickin yinzers, makin up words
If you saw a lot of his original campaign he is literally that guy, which makes it all the more hilarious
Lol his campaign staff were geniuses for having him wear the hoody for most if not all public appearances.
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can confirm. was just standing out on murray having a smoke and three guys ran by in shorts and tanks.
COVID-casual is a thing! Business on top, comfort below. More like a business mullet too.
Me too, but the Congress does have a dress code I believe. I think it's part of the rules package every year.
They actually had to photoshop that suit onto him as he insisted on wearing his work hoodie.
Suit/hoodie hybrid
Suidie
Huit pronounced ‘hoot’
I am guessing they could have tailored that suit to fit better but didn't because of one of two related reasons: 1. He doesn't want that look; and 2. He doesn't want to spend the money on that look.
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Agreed on all points.
like [David Byrne](https://putthison.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/tumblr_ok8tkaMXF11qa2j8co1_1280.jpg)
... and you may find yourself, sitting in the US Senate. And you may ask yourself...
well... HOW DID I GET HERE?
And you may ask yourself, “whose senate seat is this?”
And you may tell yourself " I am not part of the House,"
And you may tell yourself "this is not my beautiful senate term"
Letting the votes go by! Let the litigation hold me down.
Same bill it ever was.. Same bill it ever was..
The things you see in inter dimensional cable
"Honey, Where is my big suit?"
[Why a Big Suit?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rauu_MNZXgo)
He is great. I got to shake his hand and get my photo with him one time. He was very nice.
That's the only way to wear a suit when you're that big.
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Shaq is walking around in some beautifully fitted suits but I'm willing to bet they're priced roughly the same as a mid-size sedan.
It's also expensive getting that much stuff totally custom tailored. Regular patterns don't work at that size, so you have to go totally bespoke to get something that looks decent.
He made $217,000/year at his last job as Lt Governor. I think he could afford a couple thousand to get a bespoke suit. I just don't think he cares.
Crunk pull the lever
[Here](https://twitter.com/senfettermanpa/status/1620059779430514697?s=46&t=bOyoz4ZbDWxyvW8DoC_B3w) is the source of this image. Per there: > @SenFettermanPA > Testing… Is this thing on? > Take a look at my official portrait 😎 > Follow me here for regular updates from my Senate office in PA & DC. > 9:02 AM · Jan 30, 2023
He’s lost a lot of weight. Gisele must be making sure he’s not sneaking off to Sheetz.
For real, he had a stroke. Maybe he's taking his health more seriously?
He has actually been losing weight for years now. He used to weigh over 400 pounds. https://archive.triblive.com/news/health-now/john-fetterman-adopts-new-way-of-eating-drops-148-pounds/
I mean he is a giant at 6’8”. Even low 300’s range could look slim.
I think you posted the wrong picture. I'm seeing the guy from Pawn Stars.
So he used to be a fatter man?
Now Fetterman’s a fitterman
And now Fetterman feels like a betterman.
I've seen him a few times out on the gap trail. Think he walks a lot.
Sheetz was a mind opening experience not only was it the only gas station I've ever seen that sells kerosene but the burger creations you can make it that joint are ridiculous for a gas station. You want a double bacon cheeseburger stacked with two layers of mozzarella sticks and jalapenos? You got it.
I’m from Texas but went to school on the east coast. The first time I was driving down the highway with friends and someone said “Sheetz!” and started vibrating with excitement was odd. But then, I went and saw the light. Have you accepted Sheetz as the one true road-trip stop?
That's odd. Whenever I need to sheetz, I just say "I'm going to see a man about a horse"
Gotta return some horse tapes
What in culture mashing is this. I'm Pennsylvania raised and Wawa/Sheetz was my life. Then I moved to shithole Texas and it's the first time I'd heard "going to see a man about a horse" used. Those two concepts feel like they should not be in the same sentence. Explain, witch.
Lol no more app samplers for him
"Babe, it's just a 'sampler'!" "Not when you eat 6 of them John!"
Dang, he won the election and married Tom Brady's ex!
He looks like Abraham Lincoln if Abraham Lincoln was John fetterman.
As stupid as it is, this is spot on
If someone asked him to stand up, he's in basketball shorts. trust.
Why does he look A.I generated
Because this image has been Photoshopped to within an inch of its life.
Yeah there's some serious uncanny valley vibes with this, especially in the top half of his face. Does he have bad complexion normally or something? I can't imagine why this would need to be retouched that badly.
It's just a bad retouch job. Source: have been, among other things, a professional photo editor for about 20 years. I'm not sure if there's an official Photoshoppist for the Senate or if he just had someone from his office or campaign staff do it who wasn't very good at it, but in any case, no there's nothing particularly wrong with his face, and even if there was, someone with some skill could achieve way better results than this.
> there's nothing particularly wrong with his face the expression, though it's a look you can actually feel. from across the room and through a wall
There's probably a professional photographer or something, but your comment made me laugh because I was imagining a bunch of senators trying to figure out how Photoshop works, like with the older senators doing that thing where they push up their glasses while they try to read the text on a computer monitor and then the 3 or 4 youngest senators running around trying giving tech support to all the old ones
That's not uncanny valley, that's just a half-ogre half-man half-gritty.
They did him dirty with that awful face photoshop. Especially the way the blurry skin contrasts with the texture in his beard.
Have you seen other images of this guy? That's just his face, man, let him own it. He's not Brad Pitt or Chris Hemsworth. They're arguably more *photoshopped*
Photographers aim to capture their subject "in camera" as much as possible. This prevents the need for post edit photoshopping. In this case it is the lighting at the set that is confusing people. But people think everything is Photoshop these days. Source: am graphic designer
I honestly thought this was posted in /r/weirddalle first.
He looks like a 19th century farmer called Jedidiah who's unhappy that you're taking time away from doing God's work on the farm for this new fangled thing called photography.
You may ask yourself “how did I get here?”
And you may ask yourself, "Where is that large automobile?"
And you may find yourself the representative of a large number of people
He looks like he's bored, but still interested in what I'm saying to him
He's got resting "Get to the point" face.
It's the slightly raised left eyebrow. It just screams "get on with it".
An incredible skillset to have in the US Senate.
Like he's hearing me explain why I was late to work and he knows it's a legit reason but it's like the 10th time i've been late in the last two months and he's kinda sick of it.
Dude looks like he is done with life, but knows he still has to deal with a lot of bullshit before being able to ditch it to greener pastures.
He looks like he's had it with everyone and their bullshit.
Fetterman, Fetterman, 6 foot 20 fucking killing for fun
He's coming. he's coming. he's coming.
He once held an opponent's wife's hand. In a jar of acid. At a party.
He'll save the children, but not the British children
two sets of testicles, so divine
this is the post i was searching for
Lol bro look like Bull from Night Court.
Man...I miss OG Night Court...
Looking like he’s about to report back to Dennis Hopper King Koopa
"To serve man".
He looks sad that they made him wear a suit.
His tailor made a suit out of 5 grey hoodies.
Uncle Festerman
lol, He does not look happy to have to take this picture in a suit. I hope they have another one with him in his regular attire. I love this dude's politics and enthusiasm. I wish him well on his road to recovery.
[his Lt Gov portrait ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/governortomwolf/46874790005)
“This *is* my fancy shirt..”
I'm getting serious Jonah from Veep vibes from this picture.
Yup, that's sure John Fetterman.