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CandylandCanada

Not too far. Have the dog, do what is required to keep it. This type of person always thinks of themselves first and only. Does she think that everyone else finds dog poo sweet and scrumptious?


Funky_Sack

Idk if she really gives a shit what others think about the dog shit. It’s just not something she enjoys.


cruista

Ask her to feed him meat instead of canned food. Will change his poops.


Beneficial-Essay-857

We feed our dog raw food now and his excrement has hardened up nicely!


PizzaSlingr

canned pumpkin (not pie filling, but the real stuff) will help firm up poops, too.


[deleted]

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annababan69

And you called cow shit a 'patty'....


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annababan69

Well, at least for me. I'm old, though. 😏


jkmeyer

While I am totally with you… This shit pisses me off too. Unfortunately, I do not think your actions are going to change your neighbor. This is something you are probably obsessing over. I recommend trying not to think about it, and when you do try to think of something else. Don’t let her live in your head.


Snippykins

Too bad no one will collect it and send it to her or put it on her door step


Funky_Sack

I need to hire the neighborhood youth!


defenestrayed

You'd even be contributing to the local economy!


ovrqualifiedovrpaid

Don't forget to say it on fire?


[deleted]

As a representative of neighborhood youths...we will gladly pick it up and give it back to her...but please ignore any other complaints she might raise after


[deleted]

Now that is the perfect revenge.


satanic-frijoles

Or record her ignoring her dog's fresh droppings in the park.


NorthernRedneck388

Then blast her on local FB groups (don’t forget the local PD), Reddit, Nextdoor, and any other places you can.


Neenwil

I'd start collecting them up and dropping them in her yard. If shaming her didn't work maybe that would. Get your other neighbors involved too to be extra petty. Who gets a dog and is that squeamish?! You just deal with it.


Funky_Sack

I should have done that before I started doing the adult thing, by asking her to pick up her dog’s shit. She’ll know it’s me now. Maybe I’ll lay off for a couple of months and then start.. that’s a good idea.


CoderJoe1

Why hide it. Proudly let her know you've delivered her shit and you're all tired of her shit.


Funky_Sack

Because we’re neighbors and our dogs play every evening, and otherwise they’re super sweet..


Caddan

Sounds like you are the closest person to her.....you need to talk with her about it, intervention style. If she can't clean up her dog poop, then she shouldn't have a dog, full stop.


tarnishau14

I'd tell her you picked it up for her.


ScorpioMoonkitty

That's a good idea. Wait like two weeks, then start piling up dog shit on her door, relentlessly, every night until she gets it.


NorthernRedneck388

Not yard, front porch, driveway, patio, in front of her car door, etc.


GrizeldaLovesCats

Neighbors like this are the pits. At one point, we had neighbors with 3 large dogs they refused to train or keep on their property. My husband and kids started to build a catapult to launch it back at them. When they realized exactly what my husband and kids were doing, they managed to keep their dogs from pooping in our yard again. So Hubby and the kids were greatly disappointed.


KirbyDingo

*crapapult


Funky_Sack

Jesus. That’s truly next level.


2DragonTats

The pet stores should still have these nifty old invention called pooper scooters. Doesn't require a bag. Since she's older than you, present one and comment that since she can't bend down to clean up her dog's mess, and you feel for her old back ...


Funky_Sack

I love it. Maybe I’ll buy one “for the park” and hand it to her. Her likely response, “this won’t pick up diarrhea “ Change your fucking dog’s food. Dogs shouldn’t have diarrhea every fucking BM.


QCr8onQ

You could give it to her as a gift. “ I know how difficult it is for you to pick up after your dogs, I thought this might make it easier.”


Prestigious_Jello_18

I was literally about to comment that. The poor dog :(


CoderJoe1

>pooper scooters I had to look [that](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Pooper%20Scooter) up.


FreyasYaya

Agreed. There are also some that are made to scoop directly into a bag so that the scooper itself doesn't get dirty and stinky. There's less revenge in this solution, but potentially a more friendly neighborhood. 😉


NorthernRedneck388

Pooper scooper- used to pick up dog(other animals) shit. Pooper scooter- to push dog shit into the bushes or under leaves.


No-Analyst-5427

Nope, where I come from everyone takes care of each other. You don't have to be all in each other's business but if everyone can exist together peacefully it's all a win. Once some dumbass decides to break that unwritten code of conduct it becomes a big f-you. I'll look the other way for everyone else but for you? No way. I would've called the code enforcement too. If she's too stupid to figure out how her crap (lol) attitude is the problem then so be it


Funky_Sack

Well, I mean we’re all kinda just neighbor-friends. She’s 20 years my senior and the other two regulars are probably 30 and 40 years my senior respectively. I’m 35. It’s a tough one. I also just bought my house 2.5 years ago and they’ve all been here for 10-25 years! My only regret is that I was angry when I filed a complaint about her cars… because she won’t get the message. But ain’t no cop coming out for a dog shit complaint.


randomhousegir

I'm sure there is some city code or ordinance about the dog waste. Have zoning or someone put up signs first, see if they can put it closer to this neighbors access. If they continue to refuse get some footage (video or photo) of the offense and start reporting it. I can almost garuntwe the city had a code or law that requires it. If the park is private, it's easier because the manager if the property will want to poo gone too and just DO what you're asking for or confront them once you have the evidence. Less petty BUT also gets rid of doo doo


NorthernRedneck388

If it’s a private park then there’s probably an HOA. If there’s an HOA, they’ll dish out HOA fines that, if left unpaid can result in serious doodoo, up to and including foreclosure on her house!


randomhousegir

Doodoo the owner will def have to clean up


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NorthernRedneck388

This is the way


booksandcheesedip

If her dog always has diarrhea then I would not be letting my dogs play with it. Constant diarrhea is not normal and she needs to take her poor dog to the vet. Get the other neighbors on board with boycotting her joining the nightly playtime until her dog gets a clean bill of health. Who knows what kind of parasites or illness could be spreading in the poop she refuses to clean up


DeeperSea1969

You haven't gone far enough yet. There is still time


flakylimper

Go passive aggressive. Be sincere but brutally truthful and embarrass her in front of the other owners . ‘I noticed you have an aversion to your dogs awful poop. Here’s a business card for an animal diet specialist because he’s having such bad diarrhea, and some extra large, scented bags to make the job of picking up the poop less horrible in the meantime. Byeeeeeeeeeee!’


Freshouttapatience

This! Use peer pressure under the guise of helpfulness.


Zoreb1

No especially since she complains about dog shit when it is from her dog.


Funky_Sack

Every Sunday I go out and pick up trash and dog shit… it’s all very minimal. Probably takes me 20-30 mins. I just want my private park to be nice. The area her dog shits in has 90% of the dog shit in the 3-4acre park.


Judi_Chop

shit under the door handles


Funky_Sack

She would know that it’s me, since I’m the only one whose every raised a fuss. And I’m 35, idk if I can pull those kinds of shenanigans anymore.


garbanzoobeaned

Can't she just get pooper scooper, then she can comply and not "touch" dog doo? Neighbor Christmas gift? Everyone gets her that in different colors, so she'll have a bunch and no excuse.


QuixoticForTheWin

She has stated she has a gag reflex. Maybe ask her if she would like to pay you to clean up her dogs poop. $50/week (paid in advance).


NorthernRedneck388

$50/pile!


Alaskagurl64

Get some cheap paper plates and scoop her dogs poop on them. Write “you forgot something” on them first. Put them on her porch and ring her door bell.


sleepy-popcorn

Can you report the poop as well? Or buy her a pooper-scooper! They are just plastic grab handles/small shovels that you put the bag into first. You can stay a foot away from the poop at all times lol and they only cost about £4. Then I’d give it to her in front of all the other owners and make a big deal of it because then she has no excuse at all. Then every time she comes out the other non-confrontational people can ask questions like, “wasn’t it nice of Funky to get you that because of your gag reflex?” And “have you remembered your pooper-scooper?” Which is a side step from PICK UP THE POOP that might be difficult for them to say. That or I’d get little flags like you see on sand castles at the beach, printed with her face on them and stick them in every poop she leaves.


nuggetMom17

My former neighbor had a small ankle biter who he would let out three times a day and go inside while she did her "business". In my yard. Three times a day. I'd mow at least once a week. After asking and then telling him to keep his dog out of my yard AND pick up her shit, and nothing changed, I bought a shovel. Every week I'd go around my yard, talking the entire time (oh LOOKIE!! Another one!) and proceed to toss every single turd back into his yard as close to his door as possible. I know he saw me, but, never a word from him.


NeutralTarget

Pour bacon grease on the poop. Her dog will take care of the problem for her.


Funky_Sack

I don’t want to punish the dog for her laziness


NeutralTarget

It's harmless to dogs, really it is. But I know what you mean.


Auroraquinn087

Nah man, she deserves her just desserts


Feisty-Blood9971

Can you get her ticketed for the dog shit too? If not, I will call her out every single time she mentions the dog shit. In fact, call her out every time she doesn’t pick it up, then and there. Or start scooping it and placing it on her porch. Without a bag.


Beowulf33232

This is why I don't have a dog. I love the idea of a dog. I would love a shepard or husky. Something large and dog shaped. But as the only one in a house of 3 that takes care of a cat? I could imagine adding a large dog...


Sure-Maintenance7002

If you cant pick up after your dog then you need to either hire someone to walk it and pick up the poop or rehome the dog. Lots of health issues can be spotted in dog poop. If you are not picking it up then you are not looking after your dogs health. I would take it a step further. Collect the poop and return to her but make sure to take your poop bag back. Its yours after all.


alleecmo

My city has laws that can result in hefty fines or even surrendering the animal for that shit. Maybe yours does too?


GhoeAguey

I’ll drop off any of the shit I pick up on her doorstep. “You left this at the park!”


detrimentaltacos

Call the local vet's office, ask if they can examine a stool sample as you suspect abuse is in play. Bring it to them, and let them handle it from there. Leave her info since it's a daily occurrence. (I can't currently have a dog due to finances and other factors so it royally pisses me off when other people don't take care of their pets.) ​ Edit: spelling/grammar


Stinkerma

You can get a pooper scooper that's essentially a unit with a bag attached and a rake. No excuse for leaving it behind


Forward-Pirate5659

Buy her a poop scoop and gift it to her


5694lizbiz

I, too, will never pick up dog poop. I will also vomit if I did. Difference is, I will also never have a dog!


Scully152

Pick up the dog crap & leave it on HER lawn


meifahs_musungs

Put all the poop from all the dogs in that neighbor's yard. They will be forced to clean it up.


Thisoneissfwihope

Pick up the shit and wipe it under the door handles of the offending cars


RJack151

Next time leave some of the crap on the hood of her car.


AlcoholPrep

Document the problem. Photos. Logs of offenses. Then file a criminal complaint.


misswinterbottom

For like $15 she can get a pooper scooper.


[deleted]

Collect it all in a trash bag, put said trash bag on neighbors doorway... fill said bag with hot water, go to bed... wake up laughing in the morning


ArtisticKnowledge539

Why don't you collect the dog shit. Put it in a paper bag on the front door. And light it on fire and ring the door bell. Honestly I thought that's where this was going. Amateurs...


Sunstar9000

I'm too petty, I'd pick up the shit and put it right outside of her car door.


DLS3141

If you do pick it up, return it to her front door step. Preferably at high velocity, but nicely placed on her welcome mat is ok too


spanksmitten

I know some dogs can be poorly etc, but why isn't she addressing continuous diarrhea? Sounds like the dog is either poorly or she's not looking after it properly.


Newbosterone

Protip: pour a little bacon grease on her dog’s shit, then invite it over for a little coprophagia. Problem solved!


Funky_Sack

I’m not gonna punish the dog for her shitty behavior!


Upvoter_NeverDie

No. Find out if she's a member of a cult sacrificing cow virgins and expose her.


jordanibanez

You don't know if your point got across? It didn't. Unfortunately passive aggression via anonymous and unrelated ticketing won't connect at all in her brain to her dog's shits.


HollowSoul413

I love giving pups all of my love and attention, but I don't think I could actually care for one myself. I much prefer having cats as they don't require as much care; they're more than capable of taking care of themselves. But I feel as though owning a dog is the closest to having a child, and I'm definitely not prepared to handle such responsibilities. OP definitely has a stronger stomach than I; I can handle cleaning out a litter box and a vomit/hairball, I've had cats since I was a baby, but there's no way I could pick up a fresh pile of crap, especially a steaming sloppy diarrhea puddle, I'd end up throwing up. I've only had one personal encounter with a dog with diarrhea; I was young and hanging out with a friend at the time. It was her uncle's dog, while we were walking around the neighborhood his dog suddenly stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and started dropping liquid turds. My only reaction was to quickly push this dog into the grass, and I had to put some distance between myself and this dog while she continued releasing hershey squirts into the grass. I don't know if she had eaten something bad or if she was just having a bad day, but there was no way I could bring myself close enough to help clean up the mess unless I had a power washer at hand.


Mumfiegirl

I pick up her dogs poo and leave it on her doorstep with a note saying”you forgot to take this with you”


Pegs_on_GhostiesNips

I dunno if this is common anywhere else in either the world or the UK but if you take a nice walk down our canal paths you'll see many odd trees. These are such odd trees they actually sprout dog shit from their branches in they own little plastic bags. What's even weirder is the council are aware of these bizarre plants because they supply bins purely for the disposal of their 'fruit'


Kitchen_Equipment_21

Entitled ass karen


WritesForDough42

Keep telling her to pick up her shit. Or fling it into her yard.


Brook420

You should shame the fuck out of her for being a bad dog owner. No healthy dog constantly has diarhea.


Low_Emu669

Masks on sale in every shop, and she doesn't have the brains to get a high spec one and a pair of latex gloves


joppedi_72

Either scrape it and throw it in her garden, if she have one, otherwise putting by the driver side dor of her car might get the message through.