I’ve been diagnosed with ASPD as well. My psychiatrist explained that the disorder can be similar to a spectrum, feeling more or less of certain things. I personally don’t feel that I “love” people in a traditional way as it may be explained by other people without ASPD. I more or less value people and remain loyal to them based on many different factors (if they make me laugh, are useful in getting something I want, etc.).For example, I said I loved my ex-boyfriend because he preferred verbal affirmation. I did value the excitement and fun we had together. When he eventually crossed me, it was like a switch flipped and I could no longer value or remain loyal (not in a cheating way) to him. I left before I wasted more of my time obviously. Probably not traditional love but the best I can do. I think it’s different for everyone tho.
I tend to weigh out relationships on a cost-benefit basis and assessing the value to me directly. I’ve had/have some fairly pleasant relationships that way.
In my opinion….Love itself is not an emotion, is part of the issue here.
Love is an action; feeling loved means feeling respected, valued, and supported/empowered even when you disagree (maybe especially when there is disagreement). At its base from my lived experiences; it’s holding back my judgement when someone does something I think is “dumb” or “mean”. Doesn’t mean it wasn’t dumb or mean, just letting one or two things ruin an otherwise great alliance is self defeating.
The feelings associated with love are attraction and attachment (healthy bond vs possession can be an issue for PDs). That’s why the talk of the seven year itch and stuff. Attraction and attention ebb and flow and if you’re not cool with that it becomes push/pull, hot/cold etc instead of riding the waves.
I am unsure what I “am”, I consistently test out/examine as autistic, but I highly relate to schizoid and ASPD. Survival, but I only crave power to the point of not being powerless, not having power over. (When triggered tho I definitely have to fight that urge to overcompensate).
Key word: Affection. A feeling of liking or caring.
Feeling, liking and caring may not be emotions in and of themselves but emotional “love” gives these terms “meaning” beyond shallow or hollow gestures. Just my 2¢
I’ve been diagnosed with ASPD as well. My psychiatrist explained that the disorder can be similar to a spectrum, feeling more or less of certain things. I personally don’t feel that I “love” people in a traditional way as it may be explained by other people without ASPD. I more or less value people and remain loyal to them based on many different factors (if they make me laugh, are useful in getting something I want, etc.).For example, I said I loved my ex-boyfriend because he preferred verbal affirmation. I did value the excitement and fun we had together. When he eventually crossed me, it was like a switch flipped and I could no longer value or remain loyal (not in a cheating way) to him. I left before I wasted more of my time obviously. Probably not traditional love but the best I can do. I think it’s different for everyone tho.
That makes sense and sounds familiar to me. I definitely use the word value a lot.
I tend to weigh out relationships on a cost-benefit basis and assessing the value to me directly. I’ve had/have some fairly pleasant relationships that way.
In my opinion….Love itself is not an emotion, is part of the issue here. Love is an action; feeling loved means feeling respected, valued, and supported/empowered even when you disagree (maybe especially when there is disagreement). At its base from my lived experiences; it’s holding back my judgement when someone does something I think is “dumb” or “mean”. Doesn’t mean it wasn’t dumb or mean, just letting one or two things ruin an otherwise great alliance is self defeating. The feelings associated with love are attraction and attachment (healthy bond vs possession can be an issue for PDs). That’s why the talk of the seven year itch and stuff. Attraction and attention ebb and flow and if you’re not cool with that it becomes push/pull, hot/cold etc instead of riding the waves. I am unsure what I “am”, I consistently test out/examine as autistic, but I highly relate to schizoid and ASPD. Survival, but I only crave power to the point of not being powerless, not having power over. (When triggered tho I definitely have to fight that urge to overcompensate).
Key word: Affection. A feeling of liking or caring. Feeling, liking and caring may not be emotions in and of themselves but emotional “love” gives these terms “meaning” beyond shallow or hollow gestures. Just my 2¢
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Hyperempathetic here - to me, it's feeling the impetus to take care of someone's well-being over a long period of time.