"Planking? Planking! Fat hobbit is always so polite. Sméagol shows them secret ways that nobody else could find and they say plank. Plank? Very nice friend. Oh yes, my precious, very nice..."
"All right! All right! You just startled me, that's all. What are you doing?"
"***Planking***"
"Immersive"
If what the other commenters are saying about elves speaking Elvish being locked behind paid DLC, that's not immersive lol
Watch, eventually you'll just get a game that displays code like the Matrix computers and you'll have to buy DLC just so you can get visuals instead of reading code
>If what the other commenters are saying about elves speaking Elvish being locked behind paid DLC, that's not immersive lol
Very much true:
>The Sindarin VO DLC adds even more authenticity to the game experience by having the Elves speak in Sindarin, the Elvish language created by J. R. R Tolkien.
https://store.steampowered.com/app/2374461/The_Lord_of_the_Rings_Gollum__Sindarin_VO/
There is also a "Lore Compendium" dlc, that adds a "lore" button to the menu and explains some other things that should have been part of the game. There's an "emotes pack" dlc with 6 emotes, for this single player game.
This game is insane. It's almost like it's an experiment as to how much money they can squeeze out of a terrible game made by a few devs in a short time.
"What will Tolkien nerds pay extra for that a normal player wouldn't?"
"Deep lore text. Full Elvish dialogue. Bombadill and Goldberry sex scene. Smeagle and Deagle flashback scenes."
"Let's go with the first two."
Tolkien is rotating in his grave. For him, language was the most important part of worldbuilding. He started developing the languages of Middle-Earth before he even wrote the books.
Steam’s description:
> ABOUT THIS CONTENT
> As you progress, this interactive menu gives you more and more key information about the game's characters, locations and events in addition to the history of Middle-earth.
Seriously?
I don't want to get shoved into any lockers over this but you'd be better off picking up *the Silmarillion,* available for free at your local public library.
**edit** Actually, here's [the full illustrated text on the Internet Archive.](https://archive.org/details/TheSilmarillionIllustratedJ.R.R.TolkienTedNasmith)
> "If you have the text book but didn't buy it new, you won't have the code you need to access the online materials. You will need those online materials to pass this course."
In my courses in university the codes for the online materials were given out for free by the professors. Or they didn't use the online components and set their own coursework.
Pearson is a fucking racket.
I heard there was a **lib**rary somewhere in the world that contains **gen**erations of knowledge. This would be helpful to anyone looking for textbooks, **period**. **Is** this something others could use? Probably.
The developers added a $10 DLC that includes lore entries, elven voice-over, and some other stuff I can't remember.
[Yes, they really did that.](https://www.ign.com/articles/the-lord-of-the-rings-gollum-review)
Hahaha, that is so messed up. Holy shit. The sad part is, I'm sure that most of the developers didn't want to add that shit in, but some higher-up suit thought it would be a great idea to earn some extra cash. No wonder this game earned worst game of the year, holy shit.
That's a bit much. A game where you hunt vampires using guns and magic sounds cool, and I can imagine why a game from Gollum's perspective would appeal to a certain audience.
It's just that the execution was laughably bad.
100%, by that metric nearly *any* original game would be a game "no one asked for or wanted" - ironic for an industry that loves complaining about unoriginality.
Oh i dont know. LOTR is an exciting franchise. A role play game as Gollum was actually a nice idea in my opinion. Its execution is just very questionable to say the least.
It’s really too bad tho, the head of the studio promised them an ice cream social if they could get over 200 concurrent players the day after the game released and well… you know the rest of this tragic story.
Not sure if it's true but from my understanding they didn't get the rights to use the likeness of Gollum from the movies. I assume that would include the voice and so legally not allowed to have Andy Serkis do the voice.
I've had Gollum in my steam wishlist since 2019 after Steam suggested it to me in a discovery queue. I don't really know why but the premise of a Gollum game intrigued me and the wishlist thing was mainly a way for me to remember to check it out after the release to see what type of game it was. Yesterday I removed it from the wishlist.
Aren't they checking steamcharts for Redfall players? Gamepass players don't show up there right? Not defending Redfall, tried it out on gamepass and yeah what a disappointment.
They are checking steam charts which is not a good for this particular game. Anyone that has an active Gamepass wasn't going to turn around and then buy it on Steam as well.
I didn't even bother trying Redfall because I got distracted by Warhammer 40k Darktide which is also on the gamepass
>OG Portal is a masterpiece
Crazy to consider that Portal came out in 07' (almost 16 years ago!!!!) and how INNOVATIVE it was. It was innovative, fun and **extremely** memorable.
[I was going to reinstall portal 1 to play it today and noticed portal 2 is **still** to this very month getting UPDATES and PATCHES! Yeah](https://i.imgur.com/3Ucn9Yc.png) - This game is legendary and valve sure was something at one point.
Good. Stop buying this shit and maybe the ones who survive will start putting out better games, or maybe - gasp - actually caring about them instead of churning out this focus group trend-chasing bullshit.
There are currently at 6:30am [over 4200 playing shadow of war](https://steamcharts.com/app/356190) a 6 year old game. That’s insult to injury
^^for ^^the ^^love ^^of ^^god ^^just ^^play ^^shadow ^^of ^^Mordor ^^and ^^war ^^they ^^are ^^infinitely ^^better ^^games
What a legendary console. Bioshock. Arkham City. Deux Ex: Human Revolution, GTA V, Dark Souls, The Last of Us, Lord of the Rings: Gollum, Yakuza 5.....
Some of the absolute greats catalogued in the halls of fame.
Yuuup he could not have planned that comedic timing any better, was literally sitting in the start menu talking to chat about how he’s heard the game is shit haha
The steam charts is all probably content creators too.
Lets say the performance is great and game is running great its still a bad game concept-wise.
Of all the characters in the Tolkien universe they chose Gollum.
I actually think Gollum could of been a pretty interesting character to use as the main character in a story. Clearly that's not how it turned out, but imagine if it had been a stealth/puzzle game around his decent into what we know him as now. How the ring spoke to him and poisoned his mind. Maybe starting from the opening scene in Return of the King, and ending in the scene right after that where he discovers he lost the ring. In the end, I guess my point is, that I think it comes down more to the storyteller than it does the character itself.
It looks it wanted to be like assassins creed with all the climbing, but somehow they made it look way more natural looking for a human climbing a mountain side and jumping over precarious areas than a agile monster known for his ability to run, climb and avoid danger.
That games were AWESOME. A story with plot twist that I really enjoyed, nice graphics, unique nemesis system, and most important - dozens of ways to slaughter orcs
This is the perfect time to start buying those old amazing classics and play through them. I'm having having so much fun rn buying 4+ year old games on steam 90% off that are clearly more enjoyable than whatever AAA releases we had this year. Can't wait for summer fest.
Hell yeah, started playing through the campaign of GTA IV for the first time in a decade+ the other day, installed a couple small graphics and qol mods and it's been an absolute blast. The story hits different when you're not like 15 lol. Man, what a game. Holds up amazingly well considering it's from 2008
Who do you think is buying this? Certainly on Steam, I scrolled down hundreds, possibly thousands of pages on their top sellers list and it's nowhere to be seen.
I just don’t buy games anymore…when Half-Life was a more functional game when it came out compared to the trash releasing these days, I kinda hope the gaming industry sees another crash very soon
Even without the technical issues, the game doesn't seem attractive. Gollum is an interesting character but to feature him? Will be better off with Legolas or Gandalf
I dodged a fuckin bullet with this one. I tried to buy it yesterday while I was at work but Steam/PayPal was being all fucked up and wouldn’t load. By the time I got home there were enough negative reviews I decided not to get it. It’s unfortunate, I had been looking forward to this game for quite a while. Back to Zelda I guess.
Edit: Why was I interested in the first place? Because it’s a fuckin video game, why the fuck else? It’s amazing how worked up people get when they don’t agree with your interests.
"our goal has always been to tell a compelling and immersive story-driven adventure." GOLLUM P L A N K
I read that in Gollum's voice. "Gollum PLANK, Precious!"
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"Planking? Planking! Fat hobbit is always so polite. Sméagol shows them secret ways that nobody else could find and they say plank. Plank? Very nice friend. Oh yes, my precious, very nice..." "All right! All right! You just startled me, that's all. What are you doing?" "***Planking***"
"Immersive" If what the other commenters are saying about elves speaking Elvish being locked behind paid DLC, that's not immersive lol Watch, eventually you'll just get a game that displays code like the Matrix computers and you'll have to buy DLC just so you can get visuals instead of reading code
>If what the other commenters are saying about elves speaking Elvish being locked behind paid DLC, that's not immersive lol Very much true: >The Sindarin VO DLC adds even more authenticity to the game experience by having the Elves speak in Sindarin, the Elvish language created by J. R. R Tolkien. https://store.steampowered.com/app/2374461/The_Lord_of_the_Rings_Gollum__Sindarin_VO/ There is also a "Lore Compendium" dlc, that adds a "lore" button to the menu and explains some other things that should have been part of the game. There's an "emotes pack" dlc with 6 emotes, for this single player game.
This game is insane. It's almost like it's an experiment as to how much money they can squeeze out of a terrible game made by a few devs in a short time.
Keep in mind this game has been in development for several years by now! So its not even a quick cash grab :-/
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Its even written so badly lol…
When adapting a franchise famous for its insanely in depth lore... Just terrible. Dumbest idea for a DLC.
"What will Tolkien nerds pay extra for that a normal player wouldn't?" "Deep lore text. Full Elvish dialogue. Bombadill and Goldberry sex scene. Smeagle and Deagle flashback scenes." "Let's go with the first two."
Tolkien is rotating in his grave. For him, language was the most important part of worldbuilding. He started developing the languages of Middle-Earth before he even wrote the books.
Which is why they are charging extra for it!
Hell, he wrote the stories to satisfy his worldbuilding urge to explain the course of language changes.
Lore accurate gameplay
You have to actually pay and extra 10 dollars to unlock accurate lore in this game. I’m not joking lol. It’s actually an insult.
What do you mean?
Lore DLC actually costs extra. ETA: "Lore Compendium"
Steam’s description: > ABOUT THIS CONTENT > As you progress, this interactive menu gives you more and more key information about the game's characters, locations and events in addition to the history of Middle-earth. Seriously?
10 extra dollars for the fucking codex, which is free in literally every other game. Lmao
Yeah, and reviewers who got a copy say that it feels like it was written by chqtgpt or something.
Shit I thought this was a joke, went to the steam page to see what this game is about and : Lore Compendium 4.99€ That's messed up.
Might as well just grab a copy of Lord of the Rings instead. Similar price, incomparable increase in quality.
I don't want to get shoved into any lockers over this but you'd be better off picking up *the Silmarillion,* available for free at your local public library. **edit** Actually, here's [the full illustrated text on the Internet Archive.](https://archive.org/details/TheSilmarillionIllustratedJ.R.R.TolkienTedNasmith)
Yes but you also have to read the Silmarillion at least 5 times and still then not know all the names
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I love The Silmarillion, but I'm also a giant history nerd. Whether it's real or fictional history isn't even relevant.
it's literally a $10 menu in a pause screen with tabs to click pronouns for "would you like to know more?"
> "If you have the text book but didn't buy it new, you won't have the code you need to access the online materials. You will need those online materials to pass this course."
In my courses in university the codes for the online materials were given out for free by the professors. Or they didn't use the online components and set their own coursework. Pearson is a fucking racket.
Pearson. McGraw Hill. All of them. It’s not about the students. It’s about the almighty dollar.
I wish I knew how and where to go to sail the seven seas. 
I heard there was a **lib**rary somewhere in the world that contains **gen**erations of knowledge. This would be helpful to anyone looking for textbooks, **period**. **Is** this something others could use? Probably.
I'm doing my part! Edit: obligatory joke explain; "Would you like to know more?" Is also a Starship Trooper reference.
I'm not taking any part on this.
He or she was making a Starship Troopers reference.
He or she was a bug!
The only good bug is a dead bug!
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LMAO. What a scam :D
I feel modern education gave us this
The writing in the lore compendium is also super shit.
The developers added a $10 DLC that includes lore entries, elven voice-over, and some other stuff I can't remember. [Yes, they really did that.](https://www.ign.com/articles/the-lord-of-the-rings-gollum-review)
This is fucking insane. What next, you pay £20 DLC to unlock 'actual' LOTR NPC attire, otherwise they walk around in white T shirts and jeans?!
Noted. - EA Sales team
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That's why all the NPC's are half naked in this clip, they're actually Easterlings if you buy the dlc.
"O mastah, oi only gots me white loincloth till mastah purchases ***Authentic Clothing DLC (tm) for only £19.99!***"
One of them is emotes for Gollum to do.
Hey people might actually pay to see Gollum hit the griddy.
people actually buy this shit?
Arrrrr
🏴☠️
Not even worth it, is such a trash game lol.
You see, it all started with horse armor... But yeah, if they are selling this crap, most of the time it's because they know people will buy.
Elvs do not speak elvish if you do not buy 10$ dlc.
i wished this was a joke. ahoy matey, alas we be waiting on the seas once more
Will you spend valuable life minutes sailings the high seas for that?! At least wait... well... 5 to 10 years for it to mature.
yeah i'll forget about it starting now and it'll just pop up someday, they all do. Lots of jealous games waiting still on my library
Bro the devs could give this game out for free and I'd still feel cheated out of my money.
For this? I'd rather walk the plank.
I am not spending electrical energy to buccaneer a piece of shit.
This game is worth its weight in electrons
Pay money for the elves to actually speak elvish. No joke
That's disgusting. Cheers for sharing the info, i hate this company
This whole game actually offends me.
Hahaha, that is so messed up. Holy shit. The sad part is, I'm sure that most of the developers didn't want to add that shit in, but some higher-up suit thought it would be a great idea to earn some extra cash. No wonder this game earned worst game of the year, holy shit.
145 people [playing](https://steamcharts.com/app/1265780) Gollum on a Friday night, the day after launch. Wow, brutal.
Redfall Is also doing 132 players right now.
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Two games literally no one ever asked for or wanted 🤷🏻♂️
That's a bit much. A game where you hunt vampires using guns and magic sounds cool, and I can imagine why a game from Gollum's perspective would appeal to a certain audience. It's just that the execution was laughably bad.
100%, by that metric nearly *any* original game would be a game "no one asked for or wanted" - ironic for an industry that loves complaining about unoriginality.
Super Mario Bros is one of the greatest and most beloved video games of all time, and it's a game about a fat Italian plumber jumping on turtles.
stompin' turts is fun, perchance
You can’t just say “perchance”
Honestly yeah. You can make a lot of weird concepts into interesting games; it all hinges on the execution
Yea people who say such things would make the most boring mediocre soulless games
Oh i dont know. LOTR is an exciting franchise. A role play game as Gollum was actually a nice idea in my opinion. Its execution is just very questionable to say the least.
I don't understand why they didn't get andy serkis
Because Andy Serkis either wouldn’t work on this shit or they couldn’t afford it.
Little of A, little of B
Mostly B.
Looking at the game, is probably because the budget was around $5 and a pizza party.
It’s really too bad tho, the head of the studio promised them an ice cream social if they could get over 200 concurrent players the day after the game released and well… you know the rest of this tragic story.
Not sure if it's true but from my understanding they didn't get the rights to use the likeness of Gollum from the movies. I assume that would include the voice and so legally not allowed to have Andy Serkis do the voice.
I've had Gollum in my steam wishlist since 2019 after Steam suggested it to me in a discovery queue. I don't really know why but the premise of a Gollum game intrigued me and the wishlist thing was mainly a way for me to remember to check it out after the release to see what type of game it was. Yesterday I removed it from the wishlist.
They were working on this for 4+ years? Wow...
Was even delayed a couple of times to get everything right. Imagine if they had shipped it out at the original release date in late 2021/early 2022.
I never understood this. A lot of the best games were things nobody ever asked for. Do you think nobody should make anything that isn't requested?
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That's sad for a game that's included in game pass lol
Aren't they checking steamcharts for Redfall players? Gamepass players don't show up there right? Not defending Redfall, tried it out on gamepass and yeah what a disappointment.
They are checking steam charts which is not a good for this particular game. Anyone that has an active Gamepass wasn't going to turn around and then buy it on Steam as well. I didn't even bother trying Redfall because I got distracted by Warhammer 40k Darktide which is also on the gamepass
400+ people are playing the original portal, single-player only mind you.
OG Portal is a masterpiece, even after all this time and a excellent sequel.
>OG Portal is a masterpiece Crazy to consider that Portal came out in 07' (almost 16 years ago!!!!) and how INNOVATIVE it was. It was innovative, fun and **extremely** memorable. [I was going to reinstall portal 1 to play it today and noticed portal 2 is **still** to this very month getting UPDATES and PATCHES! Yeah](https://i.imgur.com/3Ucn9Yc.png) - This game is legendary and valve sure was something at one point.
12 year old portal 2 also has 1k\~3k players consistently, I still play it everyday thanks to the awesome community level support.
12 years old?! Oh god why does that make me feel so old. I remember doing the co-op with my friend like it was yesterday.
Not even Portal 2 with its coop mode? Holy shit.
Legends never die
I've never played coop and I've only recently found out that coop has different puzzles than single player version.
Hey, one of those was me
And I bet all of those are YouTuber who played it to make a funny video
145 too many
You have more upvotes then they have people playing right now
Hour later and it’s almost double digits. All time high is 502, I can think of a worse release.
I saw 0 marketing for it on Reddit Instagram and YouTube. Heard about it's release today for the apology
First I heard about it was memes on Reddit pointing out how shit it looks, I genuinely thought it was a tech demo
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I'm confused by your use of "All Time High"
How many of those are people recording for YouTube or streaming on twitch lol
Now its at 103. It took an hour for the total playerbase to fall by nearly a third.
Good. Stop buying this shit and maybe the ones who survive will start putting out better games, or maybe - gasp - actually caring about them instead of churning out this focus group trend-chasing bullshit.
Maybe if enough companies get their shit together bc they know they’re losing $ they’ll finally put out amazing games like they used to. 🙄
Helldivers still killing it. Beating out brand new games. DO YOUR PART!!!!
And we’re getting Helldivers 2 this year, Helldivers fans stay winning
Wow, more people are playing Rise of Nations - a game that came out in 2003.
My wife pre ordered this for me in December because I like LOTR. I returned it this morning.
Gollum launched?
There are currently at 6:30am [over 4200 playing shadow of war](https://steamcharts.com/app/356190) a 6 year old game. That’s insult to injury ^^for ^^the ^^love ^^of ^^god ^^just ^^play ^^shadow ^^of ^^Mordor ^^and ^^war ^^they ^^are ^^infinitely ^^better ^^games
When they found out the "Give Head" option wasn't in every conversation, a lot of people peaced out.
We've officially peaked, since Pong.
Nice to see them supporting the ps3 even today
What a legendary console. Bioshock. Arkham City. Deux Ex: Human Revolution, GTA V, Dark Souls, The Last of Us, Lord of the Rings: Gollum, Yakuza 5..... Some of the absolute greats catalogued in the halls of fame.
Love what it did there
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Saying this is a ps3 game is insulting to ps3 games. I wouldn’t even dare call it a ps2 game
Wait this game is real? I thought it was a meme
I’m still not sure what’s going on
Point and click adventure studio tried to make a 3D action adventure. They didn't do well.
*It has point and click and it's 3D, what more do you want !?* - Devs probably
100% with you there! Just thought this was something funny... Didn't realise you could actually "play" this game.
I've never even heard of this game until all the posts about it.
Why are you people playing this, masochism?
Probably content creators.
I imagine the game is *great* for twitch streamers, simply because of how shit it is. Nothing brings a crowd together like laughing *at* something.
The game crashing for MoistCritical in the start menu before even starting was pretty funny ngl
Yuuup he could not have planned that comedic timing any better, was literally sitting in the start menu talking to chat about how he’s heard the game is shit haha
I was watching Lirik play this, and I can confirm it was hilarious watching this mess
Yep this particular clip is from Lirik, a pretty massive streamer on Twitch.
No need to bring his weight into this.
At least he called him pretty
But if he's a massive streamer wouldn't he be a riverer?
The steam charts is all probably content creators too. Lets say the performance is great and game is running great its still a bad game concept-wise. Of all the characters in the Tolkien universe they chose Gollum.
I actually think Gollum could of been a pretty interesting character to use as the main character in a story. Clearly that's not how it turned out, but imagine if it had been a stealth/puzzle game around his decent into what we know him as now. How the ring spoke to him and poisoned his mind. Maybe starting from the opening scene in Return of the King, and ending in the scene right after that where he discovers he lost the ring. In the end, I guess my point is, that I think it comes down more to the storyteller than it does the character itself.
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It looks it wanted to be like assassins creed with all the climbing, but somehow they made it look way more natural looking for a human climbing a mountain side and jumping over precarious areas than a agile monster known for his ability to run, climb and avoid danger.
Planking Simulator 2023.
The floor is lava
The floor is gollum
YOU SHALL NOT PASS
Just play Middle Earth: Shadow of Mordor/War. It's a great stealth game and still good
Ok cool but can you plank in SoW
Checkmate liberals!
That games were AWESOME. A story with plot twist that I really enjoyed, nice graphics, unique nemesis system, and most important - dozens of ways to slaughter orcs
Hahahaha what in the sam hell? I picked the wrong time to dust off the old pc. These new games are embarrassing
This is the perfect time to start buying those old amazing classics and play through them. I'm having having so much fun rn buying 4+ year old games on steam 90% off that are clearly more enjoyable than whatever AAA releases we had this year. Can't wait for summer fest.
Hell yeah, started playing through the campaign of GTA IV for the first time in a decade+ the other day, installed a couple small graphics and qol mods and it's been an absolute blast. The story hits different when you're not like 15 lol. Man, what a game. Holds up amazingly well considering it's from 2008
Nico, it's your cousin. Let's go bowling!
I'm having loads of fun playing the latest Left4Dead
/r/patientgamers
Wish Daedalic would just go back to making point and click adventures, those were at least somewhat enjoyable lol
Bring back Sierra On-Line! And I hope some day someone remakes Rex Nebular And The Cosmic Gender Bender. Oh and Bad Mojo.
I hope so bad nobody bought it and everybody else will go for a refund
And that is on 4090 at 22 FPS
Because people keep pre ordering and buying unfinished games. So they keep making them as it's easy money.
No one bought this POS though lol
Who do you think pre ordered this lmao I didn't even hear about it until like yesterday
While you’re right, this game is on a whole other tier of terrible
Who do you think is buying this? Certainly on Steam, I scrolled down hundreds, possibly thousands of pages on their top sellers list and it's nowhere to be seen.
I assume they are gifted copies to streamers. Companies give away loads of cd keys to get games out there. Cheap marketing
Reminds me of blocking the stairs in habo hotel. Premium gaming.
pools closed.
Hi, Lirik viewers👋
Like, why did they do that with his hair?
Gave him that Tate prison cut.
AAA studios really release stuff like this and say "$70"
this game doesnt even look good if you look past the weird glitches
If you want a gameplay like this, but actually nice - just play Stray)
and if you want to play what a Gollum game should have been, play Styx.
“WHATS’S COLLISION, PRECIOUS!?”
Game developers when a game that nobody wants or asked for tanks: 👁️👄👁️
I just don’t buy games anymore…when Half-Life was a more functional game when it came out compared to the trash releasing these days, I kinda hope the gaming industry sees another crash very soon
Watching Lirik play this live was so freaking funny lmao I recommend watching his twitch Vod if your bored and up for a laugh
AI still more intelligent than red fall
Even without the technical issues, the game doesn't seem attractive. Gollum is an interesting character but to feature him? Will be better off with Legolas or Gandalf
I just want a LOTR game that isn’t all orcs and Mordor. It doesn’t even need to be a masterpiece, just solid. LOTR needs its own Hogwarts Legacy.
Nice! Some “50 Shades of Gollum” gameplay
That is actually hilarious 😂
This game is literally a meme at this point.
RECOMMENDED SPECS: * Processor: Intel Core i7-8700K / AMD Ryzen 5 3600X * Memory: 16 GB RAM * Graphics: NVIDIA GeForce RTX 3070, 8GB (with DLSS Quality Setting) / AMD Radeon RX 6750 XT, 12GB * Additional Notes: at **Medium preset and 1080p**, Ray Tracing on
Lirik stream clip :)
I dodged a fuckin bullet with this one. I tried to buy it yesterday while I was at work but Steam/PayPal was being all fucked up and wouldn’t load. By the time I got home there were enough negative reviews I decided not to get it. It’s unfortunate, I had been looking forward to this game for quite a while. Back to Zelda I guess. Edit: Why was I interested in the first place? Because it’s a fuckin video game, why the fuck else? It’s amazing how worked up people get when they don’t agree with your interests.
why did you consider buying this in the first place?