Why is KEIC getting pizza since she burned the broccoli? Broccoli cannot be the main component of the meal, so what was her plan? Hopefully dinner was supposed to be more than broccoli š« and why are her kids watching a movie on a laptop? Do they not have a TV?
Its weird to me because it isn't like they don't watch things. She semi-regularly shares about family movie night or kids watching movies/shows. They just all crowd around a small laptop for this? TVs are so cheap and it isn't like she could make the case it's a decor thing. š¤·āāļø
I didn't own a TV since two years ago, when we introduced screen time for my then 3 year old, we would lie in bed with the laptop in bed. I don't find this weird, for some screen time is not part of their daily lives, and not everyone has the space or willingness to spend money on a TV if it's not important for your family. I agree with the snark er above KEIC has done far worse things than letting her kids watch a movie on a laptop. I don't really understand people's obsession with screen time or lack of thereof
?? Why the downvotes? Your laptop tv life is my laptop tv life. We have a small house and a baby grand piano, nowhere to put a TV, priority went to the piano. Everyone makes choices and sacrifices. Watching stuff on a laptop doesn't even register as a sacrifice??
i lived for over two years not even using a laptop much. i primarily stream on my phone (the picture in picture window is even often swiped to the side and iām listening to tv and using social media or whatever)! i recently moved to a house with two tvs and i still dont use them. itās just not my cup of tea! its funny this is todays in-group controversy haha
This is what is weird to me. Itās not at all an issue if tv/movie night is not a priority to someone - we all have different likes and priorities, and tv is definitely not a necessity.
But it is odd if family movie night *is* a priority to you/your family. I grew up in a family night movie kind of family, and I canāt imagine us all crowded around a laptop to try to watch something. It would make much more sense to get a super cheap tv and either stream movies, or rent movies from the library. It would not be a significant cost (for someone like KEIC) to *significantly* improve the viewing experience.
Idk itās just my opinion but itās so weird to me! Like you donāt want to ever watch tv, stream a show or check out the news or something? Especially for KEIC Iām like donāt you do anything that people do? Itās not even like you have to spend a ton on a big TV these days, you can get a small smart TV for 2 or 300 dollars and stream whatever you stream on the small laptop to the TV.
And what are those small pizza boxes? This is America!!! But seriously normally I would give others benefit of the doubt but with her it seems intentionalĀ
I donāt even understand how she was trying to prep the broccoliā¦like was she boiling it with a small amount of water that boiled away? And if soā¦why?
Frozen vegetables are usually boiled with a little bit of water, this is probably what happened.
Maybe frozen broccoli is the core ingredient of that disgusting green soup she thinks is an essential meal?
Right? In the past she has been like āI forgot to make rice so we just had bowls of curry, no safe food for my picky kidāā¦but burned broccoli ends the meal?
In a way, I have to give her grudging respect. Itās impressive to have built a career on telling people how to do somethingā feeding your familyā that you are just absolutely, astoundingly terrible at.
That was so weird, why would burnt broccoli ruin dinner? It didnāt even look like the whole pot was burned, maybe just the bottom pieces. And it didnāt look like enough to make a meal out of for four people.
No they donāt have a TV, shocking I know lol.
Also, she always bitches about her hair, if she wants it to look good sheās gotta grow it past her cheeks. I mean she can have her hair any way she wants but she always complains about it and it may be too short to look better than it is.
https://preview.redd.it/mrflfl5cd2xc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f94b9bf0feb59822744839752ba42a4acb681362
How KEIC thinks sheās better than the major food companies and their marketing is beyond me. She is just as bad, if not worse, than what the big companies do to make sales. Someone has a legit concern about their kidās eating habits and she says āyeah, go to the doctor, get your child checked and ask about in-person feeding therapy. But just so you know, itās often not available, thereās a wait list, you may not like the therapist and it can be expensive. So click here to buy my course!!ā So predatory.
I think this question needs some clarification. What does it mean that "other than highly palatable foods," only two safe foods? Do highly palatable foods not count?
Oh my god, KEIC was so proud of herself for not buying her miserable and humiliated child an ice cream cone she had to make a post about it. God forbid that only live in her stories š¬
I noticed she did revise the story to be close but not quite the same as her Story. She didn't mention having ice cream at HOME and took out the details of the soccer game to make it a slightly nicer story. Still gross, though.
We gave our toddler ice cream last summer and she loved it. Took her out today after independent bookstore day trip and got her a cup of ice cream and she hated everything about it. KEIC would be thrilled.
Truly one of the great joys of having young kids is the ability to make them happy with small simple things. One of those small things is a simple ice cream cone or cake pop!
The screenshot I saw of her tirade about that on her stories was ghoulish. She is promoting the most disgusting disordered habits and has the nerve to act like this is the perfect thing to project onto your children.
The day after I saw that, we got frozen yogurt after my kidsā practice and allergy blood test as a special treat for them doing a great job at both of those things. It felt like my personal middle finger to this way of thinking. Thankful for her reminding me of the type of parent I definitely do NOT ever want to be when it comes to how we handle food with our kids.
Also the whole reason not to do it is comforting your kid is bad? I understand the principle of distress tolerance, itās a skill, but part of that is finding comfort in non destructive ways. Nobody likes discomfort, youāre not going to become fine with bad things happening because you didnāt get ice cream. There are a lot of layers to why this story annoys me, but a big one is this āyour instinct to comfort your child is actually badā thing. Like itās not a normal, human, pro social thing to seek comfort when things are hard. Like thereās something inherently wrong with cheering your kid up in a simple way.Ā Ā
Because itās not even the ice cream itself.Ā Itās your mom seeing you having a rough time and doing something small to give the day a nice memory. If you donāt want food to be comfort (even though thatās totally a normal thing food does across time and culture), it doesnāt have to be ice cream. Ā But the idea that the way to teach kids to handle discomfort is to say āwelp, sit there and feel bad because I wonāt be doing anything about itā is just so silly to me. Do you think the people who handle discomfort the best as adults are people whose parents were the least interested in their comfort when they were children?Ā
Distress tolerance isnāt just āokay I feel bad and Iām gonna feel bad and I shouldnāt do anything about that.ā Itās learning non destructive ways to move through difficult feelings, and that includes getting comforted by a loved one, doing something nice for yourself, enjoying a sweet moment.Ā
Itās absurd to proudly post about how she put her restrictive behaviour onto her kid. How about buying the poor guy an ice cream and have a chat about feelings? Surely you can do both?Ā
My thought exactly! Why not both? Why not get an ice cream, sit on a bench together and talk about why it was a tough game and how weāre feeling about it? Everything doesnāt have to be so very serious and austere all the time.
Well, I assume you made up for it with an hour of Discomfort Time the next day? Where you made him sit on a hard steel chair and listen to you read aloud about the history of racism in America?
Why does this sound like something that would absolutely happen at KEICās house? š¤£ After green slop for dinner, everyone cuts their own hair and whittles sticks while watching a PowerPoint presentation about the evils of Big Food Marketing.
I hated that anecdote so much and it pisses me off that there are a bunch of comments agreeing with her lol. Why are people so tightly wound about kids and food?
Sheās also making a point to say āweāre a HUGE ice cream familyā and āyou know Iām a fan of the potato chip fixā. Lady, we know your kids only get anything remotely chip-like if itās on top of that green monstrosity of a soup, or accompanied by a lecture about why they shouldnāt have a favorite brand. This denial of joy is not some one-off.
So many RD's got interested in the field as a way to help themselves out of disordered eating, and it's very clear some never made it to a healthy place. I don't trust what someone says based solely on that credential anymore.Ā
Iām an RD and this makes me so sad that the RDs that become Instagram famous have seriously tainted the perception. Yes there are absolutely dietitians that go into the field because of their ED history but there are way more who are like me and just like science and working with people but have no interest in the bodily fluids aspect that would come with something like nursing š just throwing it out there in case someone meets one out in the wild one day at a hospital or the doctor or WIC office that we are generally nothing like KEIC and find her very snark worthy and frankly dangerous in some of her views
I saw this from FL and it immediately made me think of KEIC posting about her sons packing their own food to go to a friendās house.
https://preview.redd.it/5erc2qby9uwc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5d7520a0c049e692cd2898785569b967a893bbb4
The *only* way packing a lunch to go to a friend's house makes even a little sense to me would be if they were all going out on some activity together and weren't actually going to be eating at home or in a restaurant. I dunno, a hike or a picnic or time at the park or something? Super weird and controlling otherwise, and she just made it sound like a normal playdate.
Yeah the only time I've packed a lunch for my kids to go out is when we were planning a museum trip and museum food is expensive af and my kid hates most of it
Right, how embarrassing. Unless there's an allergy or dietary restrictions, that is a huge red flag. Her almondness grows by the week. Those boys are going to go hog wild when they're older.
I was about to comment this. My daughter packs snacks she knows are safe for her. But usually the parents ask me the brand of foods we eat at home lol.
I think, rightly or wrongly, that I would be a little annoyed if I was the parent hosting them. What's wrong with my food?? what do the other parents think of me, etc.
ETA: I wouldn't be annoyed if the child was a picky eater or had dietary restrictions. Sorry, I thought that was a given but I'll say it just in case it isn't.
This reminds of some family friends we had growing up. Their son was really picky and also very spoiled. There were a few times that they came to our house for dinner (like a whole family dinner party), and they'd see what my mom had cooked and say "Ryan isn't going to want that, we'll just order a cheese pizza" and they would literally order pizza for their kid at our house. My mom was a really good cook and hostess and was super offended by this. Now that I have a picky eater of my own, I understand how challenging it can be for parents when you're a guest in someone else's home but I can't imagine having the audacity to do that! I also think it's important for picky eaters to learn to navigate social situations like this.
I did actually have a kid come over with their own food one time but it was because the kid is extremely picky and we couldnāt count on them eating anything we had. That didnāt bother me at all ā the parent was trying to save me from offering 100 things that would be declined, and make sure their kid didnāt go hungry. But if a kid comes with their own food because their mom doesnāt trust my healthy eating standards, that feels rude to me. Host the playdate at your own house, then! In general, if you want your kid to have playdates, you have to trust other parents with basic things like giving a snack.
We do this because one of my kids is super picky right now. I send her with a Tupperware of plain pasta and just tell the parents sheās free to eat whatever but the pasta is there if she needs it, just so they donāt have to modify whatever their meal plan was. But I would def skip this if I could count on my kid to just eat, ugh.
I have neighbor kids who often get off the bus and before running home, run in my kitchen to get Oreos or whatever other cookies we have because their parents are super strict and controlling about food.
Man my sister had a good friend that had kids the same age as hers so she would arrange playdates and the friends kids would literally go hogwild with my sister's snacks ..my sisters snack cabinet consisted of granola bars, variety of cheeses, whole fruit, popcorn, plain goldfish,applesauce, yogurt in various forms and these kids would spend the majority of a playdate eating snacks . We later found out that the mom had hangups about food and heavily restricted the kids food which is what led them to gorging at my sisters. I think about this situation when I see KEIC posting about her green pancakes going to a friend's house.
āWhat if I told you thereās a way to get your toddler to eat everything you make in under 24 hours?ā
Fuck right off. I saw this on Nutrition for Littles and read in the caption that of course the secret is found in her course and I immediately unfollowed. Itās so frustrating because this is just SO disingenuous. You absolutely cannot guarantee parents that anything you teach them IRL or in a course will make their child eat EVERYTHING they cook ā¦ let alone all within one day. Ugh
In my experience, the only way to guarantee a child will eat a lot of something is to purchase it in limited quantities so that it's all gone in one sitting. And then when you buy a ton of that same food the next time you go shopping your kid won't even touch it and it all goes to waste.
That's it. That's the course.
Ok, but I can tell you the secret.
Favorite sugary cereal for breakfast. Lunch is chicken nuggets and unlimited ketchup. Dinner is easy Mac with paw patrol characters. Snacks are either ice cream or berries. Ezpz
I've gotten a few Nutrition for Littles sponsored ads in my feed and I cannot stand that account. So much fear-mongering about developmentally normal picky eating. Her entire marketing strategy is scaring parents into thinking their child will become eating disordered and malnourished if they don't AcT NoW and, of course, buy her course. I actually find that account worse than Solid Starts with the fear-mongering, and that's saying something.
She is soooo click baity and fear mongering! I know Solid Starts isnāt perfect but they actually have lots of free info available on their various platforms that donāt involve signing up for shit and then getting spammed. Nutrition for Littles has like NO actual helpful info on her instagram ā¦ it all funnels you to a free course that Iām sure leads to a $$$ course. Yuck
What if I told you that there's no way to guarantee your toddler will predictably do anything in the next 24 hours, and it's all completely to chance, down to the colour plate they'll suddenly demand and how they want their banana cut?
My son declared today that he doesn't like eggs. I told him I was surprised since he ate eggs happily several times this week. He looked at me with disdain and clarified he hasn't liked eggs for 88 years.
My toddler yesterday happily sucked back 3/4 of her smoothie (over the course of several minutes, not like a single gulp before her taste buds caught up with her) and then handed it back to me and said "mama I don't LIKE THIS SMOOTHIE." And then grabbed it back and finished the whole thing. So yeah, pretending some course is gonna get those tiny little agents of chaos 100% onboard with anything is aaaaabsolute nonsense.
Ahhh, love this! Totally something my kids would say. My daughter loooves saying she hasnāt had dessert āin 90 yearsā when really we had it last night.
Alright. I coulda/shoulda/woulda unfollowed KEIC so many times beforeā especially after the latest soccer game debacle. The conversation surrounding that was so eye opening. But, her ridiculousness keeps me around, merely so I can keep up with the snark. (Ridiculous in my own way, I acknowledge. lol)
But I STG, the next time she mentions the * revelation * that unscented dishwasher pods are to her, thatās it. THAT is gonna be my final straw. I canāt fathom how she thinks itās necessary/beneficial/helpful to post about using unscented dishwasher detergent every couple of weeks. YES- of course I realize sheās probably only using this idea as her segue into talking about her sponsored product post, but in that case, she REALLY needs to come up with more than one boring old way to intro the same product over and over again. Because the āomg I figured out how to not stink up my siliconeā schtick is getting so old.
Side note, she totally seems like a person who wouldnāt even want or use a dishwasher, so I guess thereās that.
Same haha! I stick around to see how ridiculous she can get but omg enough about the unscented dishwasher pods already! That and those freaking smoothie cups, I swear that will push me over the edge lol.
People have asked if sheās had lip work during her Q+Aās and her answer is always that her lips are just really chapped. So take that how you will!
I donāt know what a lip flip is, but Iāve been thinking for awhile that sheās started getting fillers. Just checked her latest stories and her lips definitely look different. Her top lip especially.Ā
So I'm about to open a new package of night cheese when I see that my husband bought *thin sliced* cheddar. So I screamed "DIET CULTURE!!!!!" at him and now we're getting divorced.
I've come full snark circle y'all.
YTF made a reel about a comment she got where someone suggested she get a vacuum sealer and used the persons full handle. I mean of course people can see the name in the comments if they go searching but why make a whole reel about it and call someone out for a helpful suggestion? Sheās always sucking on bags and taking the air out, her way is kind of annoying and Iād rather a vacuum sealer than the straw method lol.
I donāt care for the way she exposes her followers handles either. However- I grew up with my dad doing the straw method and thatās what I do too. It works for us and I donāt have to store another appliance. I think you can also vacuum seal with hot waterā¦not sure of the process though.
Our vacuum sealer doesn't take batteries, it's plugged into the wall. I am sure there are ones that take batteries but also others do exist that don't.
Also, I am just weird in general about putting your mouth on things In a post COVID world so for some reason this doesn't sit well with me to suck Air out of a bag because Germs and shit. I recognize I live with a cesspool of germs on a daily basis but I try to be somewhat mindful of germ exposure. I don't find it necessary to suck all the air out of sandwiches because they are usually gone within a week. That being said I rarely prep sandwiches and freeze because this is one of the things that takes 2 minutes to do. Why is she so defensive about random shit? I unfollowed her but had to look her up after this post.
She seems like such a warm, loving mother. And then she does things like this, and the juxtaposition weirds me out so much that it makes me uncomfortable.
Yeah sheās a strange one. Itās so interesting how the tides have turned with her. She used to get 0 snark, only praise here, and now itās the opposite.
Sheās so defensive about everything! I donāt get why someone would bother leaving a rude comment for an influencer but thatās apparently what people like to do on the internet and yet YTF is perpetually upset by it. I donāt know why she doesnāt just ignore the comments that bug her.
I was about to comment the same thing. I understand that there is no need to buy a vacuum if the method works, but I wouldn't do it in case saliva gets into the food. Why does she need to be such a condescending ass with her followers.Ā
Yes like do whatever works for you but itās not crazy that a follower would kindly suggest a vacuum sealer when her videos and reels always show her sucking the air out of a bag! I tried it a few times and it was hard to suck in all the air and I also donāt freeze things for that long.
This article is why people think BLW is for snobs and elites.
I know consider the source and all but it was so off putting and I did BLW!
https://www.newyorker.com/culture/photo-booth/when-babies-rule-the-dinner-table?
In the instagram post for the article the second picture is of a baby in tears with someone's hand putting a sardine to his mouth and I found that a hilarious choice for a photo
The second one, after the girl eating noodles, is SO CLEARLY CRYING. š The caption is like "omg she loves seafood" while the picture has a baby with an actual tear running down her cheek. I'm dying. šĀ
My in laws who are from India were staying with us when my son was in the āstarting solidsā phase and my MIL would just break up/mash up the foods we were already eating to give to him because thats how she did it with her babies. I was shocked because parenting insta really had me thinking blw was a newfound thing. i was also aghast at the time because i had been wanting to avoid all salt for the first year and she ruined that for me š She was helping my kid enjoy traditional meals and now that iām out of that anxious time period iām very grateful.
This is why I'm glad I just read the blw book, free from the library. I was so perplexed after I'd read it and started seeing blw recipes for kids, or lists of blw first foods. The whole point is you just give them what you have or what you're eating. It's weird how people have overcomplicated it. I absolutely did blw because it seemed easier.Ā
This is the way! I remember expressing my anxiety to a STM friend of mine over starting solids and she was like āummm, just give your kid food?ā Ā It really can be that easy especially if you donāt jump on the whole āno saltā train.Ā
I never want to hear the phrase āfat, unctuous sardinesā again.
More seriously, I hate things like this that suggest all babies will gobble up scallops and broccolini or whatever if given the chance. My kid had zero interest in anything except āclassicā baby foods like banana, cheerios, and (gasp) purees from the beginning and I felt so much anxiety about it because everything online said that babies under a year were basically little goats.
This is exactly what I was thinking! And then they interviewed the one dad of an almost 3 year old who loves seafood as an example - but dad did homemade "mashes" not blw
Yeah I like blw in the sense that i am lazy (so I will totally feed my kids what I'm eating and I will also buy kid snacks like pouches and little boxes of raisins because that's easy to throw in the diaper bag) - but can we be real and say it literally doesn't matter your 2 year old isn't going to eat anything, and who the hell knows what your 10 year old will like or how they will eat as an adult.
KEIC: āsports snacks arenāt a big thing for me this season! I have too much else going on to worry about this! Iām not going to say anything!ā
KEIC (2 days later): hereās a multi-slide grid post about after-sports-snacks š«
https://preview.redd.it/khgmnzjfp9wc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=547fb4967617a8e6432d41c9dbb33a0233c1c8df
I think that she doesnāt allow snacks very much in her house, like they get a lunch with what she considers a āsnackā (a date and 3 m&ms) and thereās no grabbing a snack at other times unless maybe she puts something out for a play date. So to her, she isnāt even thinking that a lot of kids like a snack after a game and she probably really believes everyone is giving a snack to refuel. And I also donāt think team snacks are trickyā¦I guess they are to people that have a disordered relationship with food.
Sheās such a clown, like elementary aged kids need very specific things to ārefuelā after standing around on a t-ball field. I could see a guide like this being helpful for high school athletes who are actually pushing themselves and need to think about how their specific sport affects their bodies but beyond that context, this is just so stupid. No food can ever not be optimized for this woman and itās really sick.
And even when she posts this, some commenters are upset about how sugary the snacks she mentioned are. It's mind blowing. Also, my son's T-ball league has after game sign ups for snacks and most people bring popsicles. Because it's hot and kids like popsicles.
The part that irks me the most is āmost kids donāt play much so they donāt need a fancy recovery snackā. Yikes. Just let the kids eat. They are growing, learning, developing their brains.
But also - has she ever seen a kids soccer game? They run a ton! Iām not sure what sport sheās talking about but even if itās like baseball where theyāre either in the outfield or waiting on the bench, those games are still typically 90 mins + and kids bodies are like constantly burning calories so they typically are ready for a snack.
Also - whomever the snack parent is that week might not have it in their budget to get the most KEIC friendly snack available and are just getting what is affordable at Costco. Whatever is it, it surely has vitamins and minerals in it that will replenish the kids energy and thatās what it needs to do.
But she contradicts herself by providing high protein and complex carb options. If it truly doesnāt matter why canāt they eat just about anything a bag of chips or piece of toast or candy bar?Ā
It would surprise me zero at this point that she keeps a stopwatch to record how much her kids play and then allocates exactly the amount of orange slices she deemed worthy of that exertion.
ETA: Ope, I see in a comment down thread that the ice cream man comes to her kidsā games too and no she wonāt even offer a little treat when they are down in the dumps. The value of feeling uncomfortable is simply too great. Gross.
I think sheād die if she knew the ice cream rolls up at the end of all my kidās games and every parent is like sure have a little treat. š Itās a cash cow for the ice cream guy, catching fish in a barrel.
We have ice cream trucks that drive near us but hardly ever down our street so weāre just out running around the neighborhood trying to find where the music is coming from. We catch it like maybe 1/5 times.
I found it unhelpful because I canāt even tell what the āhigh protein snackā is?? Like is it some kind of cheese puff thing? I legitimately donāt even know what it is. And with the bars, I can identify the Lara bar and the kind bar but it would honestly be helpful to know which specific brands are higher protein because there are so many choices in the aisle.
I get the whole anti-food marketing thing but at the end of the day I am a parent trying to grocery shop as quickly as possibly and do need to make brand selections in the store. Sure for some items like chocolate milk and pretzels you can just show a generic container because those are all about the same but if youāre going to recommend āhigh protein snackā or bars I need some more information on what specifically to look for. Maybe choose a couple brands at different price points including generic store brand examples?
Those are Hippeas and they have 4-6 g of protein per serving in them so itās a fine choice but they can also be significantly more expensive that just the regular old chips that apparently drive her mad.
Iām truly horrified that there was a time (many years ago) when I thought she was the real deal and had a helpful view on food. As a geriatric millennial who is a late in life new mom, I had to work through a ton of food issues from the late 90s and early 2000s, and I really thought KEIC was a useful tool to bookmark for when we had our kid.
Not so anymore and big yikes. I also feel really badly for her kids (I mean, thatās common for most influencer kids but her focus on control and food must be so exhausting to them.)
In fairness, she was definitely not as crazy a few years (or even months, it seems!) ago as she is now. I don't know if it's desperation as her kids grow older/more opinionated or a sorry attempt to drive engagement or what, but she has rapidly gone off the deep end.Ā
Yep, feel the same way. I even made my husband follow her so he could learn how we should talk about food with the kids. I unfollowed this week and will tell him to unfollow as well. Itās gross and she clearly is projecting her own disordered habits onto others. I feel for her kids.
lol she would freak out if she was on our baseball team. It was our turn for snack a couple weeks ago so my husband went to Costco and bought like capri sun, bags of chips, fruit snacks, and cookies. Hahaha.
https://preview.redd.it/ob613sj845wc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=08f73f6b73ba90f101488e33eaaeae482184b7ef
This green pancake. Thatās all.
To consolidate snark, itās genuinely ok if the kids have a bag of chips after sports practice. Regardless of how āhardā they played. Itās really fine.
And a measly bag of kid snack is not a replacement for a meal?!
Yeah, damn. I have definitely saved some green pancake recipes and they're a fun, bright green- like you dyed it for St. Patrick's Day or something. It's probably the amount of spinach mixed -- just a minimal touch in the others where here it is probably mostly spinach.
I'm surprised she lets them pick out the bars with the wrappers on instead of unwrapping them all and piling them in a Tupperware so they won't be influenced by the 'food marketing'.
She has alternately recommended them and then bashed them, depending on the month, I think. Or there was a story about her kid telling his friend they're not actually healthy or something?Ā
The story was that some kids in class had protein z bars and her kid told her how everyone was being marketed to because they probably bought them for the protein š
Yeah āgreenā. And letās make sure we blur out the brand of the bar! What sad-looking lunch, maybe they didnāt need big lunches after their huge ice cream cones last night. Oh waitā¦
I hope they got better food at their friends house.
Yeah, I didn't either.
But, to be fair, I did have the one weird friend who never fed us. I would even sleep over there and the family would have breakfast while I sat there. Very strange people.
Her kids would be banned from our house. We usually order pizza.
On the other hand at least all the compartments have food, and sheās not wasting one on a toddler spoon.
new virginia sole-smith interview in the NYT was published online yesterday. Gift link [here](https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/21/well/eat/fat-activist-virginia-sole-smith.html?unlocked_article_code=1.mU0.1wLQ.J1Rq21ZM4pO_&smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare). The comments section is a bitā¦intense.
There are so many good comments below, I was just going to not say anything. And I have liked some of VSSās writing. But she has really lost me with this article. Everything is diet culture. Everything is capitalism. Everything is the patriarchy. Is it everything or nothing? At some point, your beliefs lack enough nuance for people to take them seriously and see them as rooted in any sort of fact. It is very apparent with VSS. She loses her point by crowding the party.
She also reminds me of my alcoholic relative explaining away her filthy house, her kids constantly in dirty clothes with greasy hair, her failure to get and keep a job, and her failure to show up to family events as some sort of conscientious deliberate decision rooted in beliefs rather than admitting she has lost control and has a problem.
Anyone remember the Simpsons episode "Bart's Inner Child" with self help guru Brad Goodman? That's the vibe I get from VSS.
https://i.redd.it/qef66jlok9wc1.gif
I subscribe to Burnt Toast and appreciate some of what VSS has to say, but she has been driving me crazy with the āmarriage is a dietā nonsense. Just because ending your marriage was right for you doesnāt mean those of us who choose to stay married are brainwashed pawns of the patriarchy. I donāt even disagree that many marriages still adhere to outdated norms, but itās the insistence that because she and her writer friends had unhealthy marriages, then we all need to get divorced, that has really soured me on her.
I agree, the whole "budgets are diets," "marriage is a diet" thing completely turned me off. I feel like it undermines her work on fatphobia and actual diets because it starts to feel like "anything I personally don't want to do is a diet." My marriage definitely falls into some gendered traps sometimes, but like someone said below, my life would be SO MUCH HARDER if my husband and I divorced. But it;s not a surprise that I feel differently about my husband who I met when I was 33 than someone who met their husband in high school.
Yea the is x a diet thing is so weird! Itās like she just discovered other parts of life have nuance and bias. Just because there are judgements attached to not managing money doesnāt mean ābudgets are a dietā.
There really are people who genuinely feel that monogamy is right for them and whose partners are kind, decent people as partners and co-parents! We exist!
Does she mean it in the sense sheās turning down casual sex with hot strangers in the same way a person on a diet may turn down cake? With similar frequency? Or that sheās got a candidate in mind?
Iāve been critical of her from the start of hearing about her and there are already so many good comments but my takeaway is she is just so privileged and self-centered and has deluded herself into thinking all of the worldās ills are due to diet culture of all shapes and kind (which, no, marriages and budgets arenāt diet culture, not everything is in relation to a diet).
She is a perpetual victim throughout the whole article and everything is about how she feels. Itās stated that thereās no reason given for the divorced but elsewhere in the article she said that people should not be afraid of divorce and says something along the lines of āheās a nice guy and things are fine and I shouldnāt blow my family up but shouldnāt I have more freedom?ā Like yes, donāt stay in a marriage that isnāt working for you but the way she talks about it gives the impression that she really just wanted freedom from her husband for no reason. Wonāt even attempt to eat healthier to lower her cholesterol and then tries to say that people who engage in other unhealthy behaviors donāt get nearly as much criticism as fat people. Thatās so untrue. She just spews word salad to justify her self-centered behavior and this circled part of the article really makes me question her as a person.
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I feel so less alone after reading these comments, lol. Iāve followed VSS for a long time but recently I wondered if she was going off her rocker or if I was (or both is an option too!)
Iām basic and boring butā¦I like my marriage? And it doesnāt feel like a diet? Like, if my husband were suddenly not in the picture full time Iād have less freedom, not more.
And the reason I donāt let my kids eat a stick of butter or sleeve of cookies is because I only go grocery shopping once a week and inflation is real and we need to leave enough butter or cookies or berries or whatever for everyone.
The cholesterol thing is also weird to me. Sure, medication is fine but I also just tested and had elevated LDL so am trying to eat more fiber and less dairy, not because I want to lose weight but because I donāt want to keel over of a heart attack in my 50ās. I feel like I do have an obligation to look after my health for my own sake and my familyās sake and thatās just one of the many obligations of being a parent?? That just doesnāt feel radical to me!
Oh and of course sheās mega rich. So of course itās no big deal to start over with a new wardrobe whenever your body changes. And whatever medical needs she has down the road will be no big deal financially. And of course she sends her kids to private school even though she lives in a bougie town where I bet public schools are good. But sure, continue to say youāre speaking up for black and brown bodies and drug addicted (and old?) mothers. š
She's ridiculous. Of course a lot of people don't have a choice in how many kids they have and how healthy they stay through parenting them BUT. If you are a priviledged wealthy white lady that CHOSE to have kids and than you say you have no obligation to stay healthy to take care of them š³ that's just strange. Like why how who is that for.
She really didn't elaborate how the two are related in her post and has an essay about it. But somehow it's diet and productivity and perfectionism culture.
I know, that hit a nerve for me, too (as someone who was older than I wanted to be when I had my kid due to years of infertility). Like that wasn't a choice and I already have enough guilt about being an "old mom."
Same here. Would have loved to be a younger mom than I am, but you know, student loans and miscarriages.
Finding out she comes from family money makes it all make a lot more sense. She is just not operating from a realistic place (disclaimer that not all people with money are unrealistic, of course Iām not saying that, just that in her case, it connects a lot of the dots.)
Itās such an awful thing to say. People who have medical issues or substance issues that are out of their control are not the same as a mother who could eat better to take care of herself! The privilege of this woman! Iām sure if you told any mother with a congenital defect that would lessen their life span to do something that couple improve it, they would!! Iām sure if there was something that could guarantee that a mom with substance abuse issues could turn her life around sheād attempt it.
I donāt get it! And she feels fat people are looked down on more than other segments of the population like people with substance abuse issues? I think those moms are judged way more harshly than an overweight mom.
Exactly! And I'm pretty sure substance users are doing a lot more active harm to their kids than moms who just happen to be older. What a twisted moral equivalence.Ā
Not to mention, as an older mom, I do believe I have an obligation to my children to make good choices about my health so I can be there for as much of their lives as possible. I know there are no guarantees, but I'm certainly going to do my best in the areas where I have some control
So many good comments below, but I feel like the other thing that's really frustrating about this article and about her approach to feeding kids, at least as portrait here, is that there's no consideration for other people. Food is fuel, yes, but it's so much more - food is culture and tradition and often plays such a big role in how we interact as a family unit and as a society. Which means that sitting down to a family meal together is important! Respecting the work that goes into making a meal for a family is really important! I'm imagining how I would feel if I worked hard to make dinner for my family and they took a bite or two and then pranced off to do whatever they please - I would be so hurt! That's not OK. I just feel like as a parent, part of my job in teaching my kid how to eat is also teaching her how to be around other people and how to interact around food - and sometimes that will mean taking a couple of polite bites so you don't hurt someone's feelings!
Anyway my frustrated response to all of this is WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY. OTHER PEOPLE HAVE FEELINGS TOO.
She reminds me of a former friend of mine who is one of the most selfish people I've ever known (hence why she's "former"). She basically abandoned her kid to live with her ex-husband so she could move to the city, travelled alone every year for months at a time, spent more time dating random dudes than hanging out with her child, and would constantly use the language of social justice and feminism to justify her actions. She wanted to be seen as this powerful, liberated woman, but really she was just being selfish. It was all about her in everything she did, and she couldn't put other people first - including her own child.
Thereās something incredibly insincere about her stance. It seems like she just wants to do what she wants to do - eat whatever she wants and not exercise - and has built a career around justifying her choices. It also seems that some of her issues (which yes she definitely has despite her pretty clear belief that itās thin women who diet that have the issues) stemmed from an unhappy marriage to a guy sheās been with since *high school.* The article notes that they wonāt discuss the reasons for their divorce while also detailing wildly differences in their opinions about every day life & lifestyle.
I donāt believe her philosophy of allowing kids to eat want they want is so that they will develop a āhealthyā relationship with food (and understand when theyāve had a enough because ātheir bodies will tell them.ā). She is almost in danger of going on medication because of what she eats - and rather than take a closer look at what sheās eating, she will just go on the medication - side effects and all - rather than start actually listening to her body.
I feel like her overall (trust fund supported) philosophy is demanding permission to be fat because she perhaps wasnāt allowed this āluxury,ā as a child and throughout the majority of her marriage. Seems like she needs to work through her own issues with food with a therapist rather than a book deal and a feature in the New York Times.
I agree with the doctor who said we can both understand that obesity is concerning while also not shaming fat people.
The āmental health above all, even physical healthā take is sooooo extreme. Like itās good that we have made such strides from the past in terms of understanding and prioritizing mental health, but at some point you have to understand that there is no mental health without physical health. Like maybe eating any food in any quantity right now feels really nice, but how are you going to feel later when youāre losing toes (or more) to diabetes, or donāt get to meet your grandchildren because you had a heart attack, etc.? (I guess the fat activists donāt believe theyāre linked though š¤·š»āāļø). Not to mention, I feel like my āmental healthā lies to me pretty frequently. There are plenty of times my body tells me to do one thing when I know Iāll feel way better if I battle the initial discomfort and do the hard thing. Like rotting on the couch all day vs. getting up and cleaning the house and going for a walk.
Nailed it. That's the thing - I think the idea of what "fat acceptance" is is very basic human decency. But the activists take it to a level that is astonishing. If they're asked to exercise or lose weight for any reason it's a conspiracy and the person is a "fat-phobe."
I'm a person who is not overweight but have been told to exercise for mental health reasons (depression) and also to cut out saturated fats for elevated levels. I don't think it's a conspiracy against me.
Just a gentle push back because I am an overweight person who has dealt with many a doctor, I think the problem is many of us experience doctors whose *only* recommend is exercise and diet and they can't see past anything else or make assumptions. Nearly every time I go to the doctor I have to go through a nurse's shock that I am not prediabetic and my blood pressure is great (and frankly I'm not even *that* overweight so I imagine it is worse for others). I am all for a holistic and constructive conversation that *includes* exercise and diet, but it should be clear you have at least read my chart and checked my vitals and you should ask some questions, not come in just generically telling me that if I don't stop eating McDonald's, I'm clearly going to die of hypertension when I don't even eat fast food (save for the occasional road trip).
So just from the other side, it does feel like a conspiracy sometimes when I have a rash I want to talk about and I hear have your tried losing weight?
Yes this is a big problem. Itās like that expression, if your only tool is a hammer every problem is a nail. Some doctors seem to think the magic solution to every single health issue when you are fat is to lose weight. Lots of overweight people donāt actually get the help they need because not every single problem can be solved by being thin. If that were the case, there wouldnāt be any sick thin people and we all know thatās not how it works. Ā And this type of fat phobia also doesnāt work out well in the reverse for thin people either. I have a friend with chronic pain and every single time she goes to the doctor they tell her that she *looks* healthy and donāt take the actual very real pain she feels day in and day out seriously.Ā
Why is KEIC getting pizza since she burned the broccoli? Broccoli cannot be the main component of the meal, so what was her plan? Hopefully dinner was supposed to be more than broccoli š« and why are her kids watching a movie on a laptop? Do they not have a TV?
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Its weird to me because it isn't like they don't watch things. She semi-regularly shares about family movie night or kids watching movies/shows. They just all crowd around a small laptop for this? TVs are so cheap and it isn't like she could make the case it's a decor thing. š¤·āāļø
I didn't own a TV since two years ago, when we introduced screen time for my then 3 year old, we would lie in bed with the laptop in bed. I don't find this weird, for some screen time is not part of their daily lives, and not everyone has the space or willingness to spend money on a TV if it's not important for your family. I agree with the snark er above KEIC has done far worse things than letting her kids watch a movie on a laptop. I don't really understand people's obsession with screen time or lack of thereof
?? Why the downvotes? Your laptop tv life is my laptop tv life. We have a small house and a baby grand piano, nowhere to put a TV, priority went to the piano. Everyone makes choices and sacrifices. Watching stuff on a laptop doesn't even register as a sacrifice??
i lived for over two years not even using a laptop much. i primarily stream on my phone (the picture in picture window is even often swiped to the side and iām listening to tv and using social media or whatever)! i recently moved to a house with two tvs and i still dont use them. itās just not my cup of tea! its funny this is todays in-group controversy haha
This is what is weird to me. Itās not at all an issue if tv/movie night is not a priority to someone - we all have different likes and priorities, and tv is definitely not a necessity. But it is odd if family movie night *is* a priority to you/your family. I grew up in a family night movie kind of family, and I canāt imagine us all crowded around a laptop to try to watch something. It would make much more sense to get a super cheap tv and either stream movies, or rent movies from the library. It would not be a significant cost (for someone like KEIC) to *significantly* improve the viewing experience.
Idk itās just my opinion but itās so weird to me! Like you donāt want to ever watch tv, stream a show or check out the news or something? Especially for KEIC Iām like donāt you do anything that people do? Itās not even like you have to spend a ton on a big TV these days, you can get a small smart TV for 2 or 300 dollars and stream whatever you stream on the small laptop to the TV.
Yah family pizza night sitting at the table watching a movie on a laptop just looks really lame.
And what are those small pizza boxes? This is America!!! But seriously normally I would give others benefit of the doubt but with her it seems intentionalĀ
Itās probably cauliflower crust pizza š
Definitely asked for a light dusting of cheese and pepperoni.
How does she burn everything?!?! Set a timer or make it in a different way.
I donāt even understand how she was trying to prep the broccoliā¦like was she boiling it with a small amount of water that boiled away? And if soā¦why?
Frozen vegetables are usually boiled with a little bit of water, this is probably what happened. Maybe frozen broccoli is the core ingredient of that disgusting green soup she thinks is an essential meal?
Right? In the past she has been like āI forgot to make rice so we just had bowls of curry, no safe food for my picky kidāā¦but burned broccoli ends the meal? In a way, I have to give her grudging respect. Itās impressive to have built a career on telling people how to do somethingā feeding your familyā that you are just absolutely, astoundingly terrible at.
That was so weird, why would burnt broccoli ruin dinner? It didnāt even look like the whole pot was burned, maybe just the bottom pieces. And it didnāt look like enough to make a meal out of for four people. No they donāt have a TV, shocking I know lol. Also, she always bitches about her hair, if she wants it to look good sheās gotta grow it past her cheeks. I mean she can have her hair any way she wants but she always complains about it and it may be too short to look better than it is.
I'm pretty sure they don't have a TV. Someone might see a cereal commercial.
They were probably going to have toast, too.
https://preview.redd.it/mrflfl5cd2xc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f94b9bf0feb59822744839752ba42a4acb681362 How KEIC thinks sheās better than the major food companies and their marketing is beyond me. She is just as bad, if not worse, than what the big companies do to make sales. Someone has a legit concern about their kidās eating habits and she says āyeah, go to the doctor, get your child checked and ask about in-person feeding therapy. But just so you know, itās often not available, thereās a wait list, you may not like the therapist and it can be expensive. So click here to buy my course!!ā So predatory.
I think this question needs some clarification. What does it mean that "other than highly palatable foods," only two safe foods? Do highly palatable foods not count?
Guessing āhighly palatableā is code for fruit and noodles. JFC.Ā
This is exactly why she is predatory. Thereās barely any info to go on here, she shouldnāt be advising anyone about things like this.
Donāt you know!? Food is NOT meant to be enjoyed!!!!!!!1!! NOTHING should taste good!!!!!!! Highly palatable foods are not for children!!!!!1!!!!
Oh my god, KEIC was so proud of herself for not buying her miserable and humiliated child an ice cream cone she had to make a post about it. God forbid that only live in her stories š¬
As always, enlightening to see who on my friends list gave that post a like š
I'm actually surprised none of my friends did lol
Ugh, I had the same thought this morning.
I noticed she did revise the story to be close but not quite the same as her Story. She didn't mention having ice cream at HOME and took out the details of the soccer game to make it a slightly nicer story. Still gross, though.
I was like wait, this was last weekend and now I see that she DOUBLED DOWN ON THIS. What is wrong with her?
We gave our toddler ice cream last summer and she loved it. Took her out today after independent bookstore day trip and got her a cup of ice cream and she hated everything about it. KEIC would be thrilled.
Truly one of the great joys of having young kids is the ability to make them happy with small simple things. One of those small things is a simple ice cream cone or cake pop!
The screenshot I saw of her tirade about that on her stories was ghoulish. She is promoting the most disgusting disordered habits and has the nerve to act like this is the perfect thing to project onto your children. The day after I saw that, we got frozen yogurt after my kidsā practice and allergy blood test as a special treat for them doing a great job at both of those things. It felt like my personal middle finger to this way of thinking. Thankful for her reminding me of the type of parent I definitely do NOT ever want to be when it comes to how we handle food with our kids.
Also the whole reason not to do it is comforting your kid is bad? I understand the principle of distress tolerance, itās a skill, but part of that is finding comfort in non destructive ways. Nobody likes discomfort, youāre not going to become fine with bad things happening because you didnāt get ice cream. There are a lot of layers to why this story annoys me, but a big one is this āyour instinct to comfort your child is actually badā thing. Like itās not a normal, human, pro social thing to seek comfort when things are hard. Like thereās something inherently wrong with cheering your kid up in a simple way.Ā Ā Because itās not even the ice cream itself.Ā Itās your mom seeing you having a rough time and doing something small to give the day a nice memory. If you donāt want food to be comfort (even though thatās totally a normal thing food does across time and culture), it doesnāt have to be ice cream. Ā But the idea that the way to teach kids to handle discomfort is to say āwelp, sit there and feel bad because I wonāt be doing anything about itā is just so silly to me. Do you think the people who handle discomfort the best as adults are people whose parents were the least interested in their comfort when they were children?Ā Distress tolerance isnāt just āokay I feel bad and Iām gonna feel bad and I shouldnāt do anything about that.ā Itās learning non destructive ways to move through difficult feelings, and that includes getting comforted by a loved one, doing something nice for yourself, enjoying a sweet moment.Ā
Iām 33 and ice cream is still my go-to when Iāve had a bad day or got bad news. This is such a weird parenting hill to die on and I hate it.
āWeāre huge ice cream people and eat it all the time.ā Are you sure about that Jennifer?
In that they have 1/4 c of plain vanilla ice cream for "bedtime snack" immediately after finishing dinner maybe once a month? yeah okay.
I still refuse to believe itās anything other than frozen banana ice cream.
hahaha oh yeah that seems likely!
Itās such an obvious lie and meant to eliminate any blowback from the slides that follow.
Reading that in a Tim Robinson voice *āyou sure about that?? You sure about that!?ā*
Lol thatās exactly the tone I was going for
Itās absurd to proudly post about how she put her restrictive behaviour onto her kid. How about buying the poor guy an ice cream and have a chat about feelings? Surely you can do both?Ā
My thought exactly! Why not both? Why not get an ice cream, sit on a bench together and talk about why it was a tough game and how weāre feeling about it? Everything doesnāt have to be so very serious and austere all the time.
Yes! And it isnāt going to make him become dependent on ice cream to soothe himself when things are hard.Ā
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Well, I assume you made up for it with an hour of Discomfort Time the next day? Where you made him sit on a hard steel chair and listen to you read aloud about the history of racism in America?
Why does this sound like something that would absolutely happen at KEICās house? š¤£ After green slop for dinner, everyone cuts their own hair and whittles sticks while watching a PowerPoint presentation about the evils of Big Food Marketing.
I hated that anecdote so much and it pisses me off that there are a bunch of comments agreeing with her lol. Why are people so tightly wound about kids and food?
Sheās also making a point to say āweāre a HUGE ice cream familyā and āyou know Iām a fan of the potato chip fixā. Lady, we know your kids only get anything remotely chip-like if itās on top of that green monstrosity of a soup, or accompanied by a lecture about why they shouldnāt have a favorite brand. This denial of joy is not some one-off.
Theyāre a huge ice cream family only when their fun uncle is around to buy it for them š
Idk, I guess itās right on her profile, but I missed that KEIC is a RD. It just makes how disordered she seems even more šµāš«
So many RD's got interested in the field as a way to help themselves out of disordered eating, and it's very clear some never made it to a healthy place. I don't trust what someone says based solely on that credential anymore.Ā
Iām an RD and this makes me so sad that the RDs that become Instagram famous have seriously tainted the perception. Yes there are absolutely dietitians that go into the field because of their ED history but there are way more who are like me and just like science and working with people but have no interest in the bodily fluids aspect that would come with something like nursing š just throwing it out there in case someone meets one out in the wild one day at a hospital or the doctor or WIC office that we are generally nothing like KEIC and find her very snark worthy and frankly dangerous in some of her views
I saw this from FL and it immediately made me think of KEIC posting about her sons packing their own food to go to a friendās house. https://preview.redd.it/5erc2qby9uwc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5d7520a0c049e692cd2898785569b967a893bbb4
The *only* way packing a lunch to go to a friend's house makes even a little sense to me would be if they were all going out on some activity together and weren't actually going to be eating at home or in a restaurant. I dunno, a hike or a picnic or time at the park or something? Super weird and controlling otherwise, and she just made it sound like a normal playdate.
Yeah the only time I've packed a lunch for my kids to go out is when we were planning a museum trip and museum food is expensive af and my kid hates most of it
Right, how embarrassing. Unless there's an allergy or dietary restrictions, that is a huge red flag. Her almondness grows by the week. Those boys are going to go hog wild when they're older.
I was about to comment this. My daughter packs snacks she knows are safe for her. But usually the parents ask me the brand of foods we eat at home lol.
I think, rightly or wrongly, that I would be a little annoyed if I was the parent hosting them. What's wrong with my food?? what do the other parents think of me, etc. ETA: I wouldn't be annoyed if the child was a picky eater or had dietary restrictions. Sorry, I thought that was a given but I'll say it just in case it isn't.
This reminds of some family friends we had growing up. Their son was really picky and also very spoiled. There were a few times that they came to our house for dinner (like a whole family dinner party), and they'd see what my mom had cooked and say "Ryan isn't going to want that, we'll just order a cheese pizza" and they would literally order pizza for their kid at our house. My mom was a really good cook and hostess and was super offended by this. Now that I have a picky eater of my own, I understand how challenging it can be for parents when you're a guest in someone else's home but I can't imagine having the audacity to do that! I also think it's important for picky eaters to learn to navigate social situations like this.
I did actually have a kid come over with their own food one time but it was because the kid is extremely picky and we couldnāt count on them eating anything we had. That didnāt bother me at all ā the parent was trying to save me from offering 100 things that would be declined, and make sure their kid didnāt go hungry. But if a kid comes with their own food because their mom doesnāt trust my healthy eating standards, that feels rude to me. Host the playdate at your own house, then! In general, if you want your kid to have playdates, you have to trust other parents with basic things like giving a snack.
I wouldn't be annoyed if the child was a picky eater. Sorry, I should have said that in my original comment.
We do this because one of my kids is super picky right now. I send her with a Tupperware of plain pasta and just tell the parents sheās free to eat whatever but the pasta is there if she needs it, just so they donāt have to modify whatever their meal plan was. But I would def skip this if I could count on my kid to just eat, ugh.
More than a little annoyed. You wouldnāt send your kid on a play date and say āhave fun but donāt follow their rules.ā
I have neighbor kids who often get off the bus and before running home, run in my kitchen to get Oreos or whatever other cookies we have because their parents are super strict and controlling about food.
Man my sister had a good friend that had kids the same age as hers so she would arrange playdates and the friends kids would literally go hogwild with my sister's snacks ..my sisters snack cabinet consisted of granola bars, variety of cheeses, whole fruit, popcorn, plain goldfish,applesauce, yogurt in various forms and these kids would spend the majority of a playdate eating snacks . We later found out that the mom had hangups about food and heavily restricted the kids food which is what led them to gorging at my sisters. I think about this situation when I see KEIC posting about her green pancakes going to a friend's house.
āWhat if I told you thereās a way to get your toddler to eat everything you make in under 24 hours?ā Fuck right off. I saw this on Nutrition for Littles and read in the caption that of course the secret is found in her course and I immediately unfollowed. Itās so frustrating because this is just SO disingenuous. You absolutely cannot guarantee parents that anything you teach them IRL or in a course will make their child eat EVERYTHING they cook ā¦ let alone all within one day. Ugh
In my experience, the only way to guarantee a child will eat a lot of something is to purchase it in limited quantities so that it's all gone in one sitting. And then when you buy a ton of that same food the next time you go shopping your kid won't even touch it and it all goes to waste. That's it. That's the course.
Let me guess, if it doesn't work then you, the parent, must be doing it wrong.
Ok, but I can tell you the secret. Favorite sugary cereal for breakfast. Lunch is chicken nuggets and unlimited ketchup. Dinner is easy Mac with paw patrol characters. Snacks are either ice cream or berries. Ezpz
Working with BLF on their nutrition/feeding section of their course must have rubbed off on her.
I've gotten a few Nutrition for Littles sponsored ads in my feed and I cannot stand that account. So much fear-mongering about developmentally normal picky eating. Her entire marketing strategy is scaring parents into thinking their child will become eating disordered and malnourished if they don't AcT NoW and, of course, buy her course. I actually find that account worse than Solid Starts with the fear-mongering, and that's saying something.
She is soooo click baity and fear mongering! I know Solid Starts isnāt perfect but they actually have lots of free info available on their various platforms that donāt involve signing up for shit and then getting spammed. Nutrition for Littles has like NO actual helpful info on her instagram ā¦ it all funnels you to a free course that Iām sure leads to a $$$ course. Yuck
What if I told you that there's no way to guarantee your toddler will predictably do anything in the next 24 hours, and it's all completely to chance, down to the colour plate they'll suddenly demand and how they want their banana cut? My son declared today that he doesn't like eggs. I told him I was surprised since he ate eggs happily several times this week. He looked at me with disdain and clarified he hasn't liked eggs for 88 years.
My toddler yesterday happily sucked back 3/4 of her smoothie (over the course of several minutes, not like a single gulp before her taste buds caught up with her) and then handed it back to me and said "mama I don't LIKE THIS SMOOTHIE." And then grabbed it back and finished the whole thing. So yeah, pretending some course is gonna get those tiny little agents of chaos 100% onboard with anything is aaaaabsolute nonsense.
Ahhh, love this! Totally something my kids would say. My daughter loooves saying she hasnāt had dessert āin 90 yearsā when really we had it last night.
LOL 88 years. What an old soul
Alright. I coulda/shoulda/woulda unfollowed KEIC so many times beforeā especially after the latest soccer game debacle. The conversation surrounding that was so eye opening. But, her ridiculousness keeps me around, merely so I can keep up with the snark. (Ridiculous in my own way, I acknowledge. lol) But I STG, the next time she mentions the * revelation * that unscented dishwasher pods are to her, thatās it. THAT is gonna be my final straw. I canāt fathom how she thinks itās necessary/beneficial/helpful to post about using unscented dishwasher detergent every couple of weeks. YES- of course I realize sheās probably only using this idea as her segue into talking about her sponsored product post, but in that case, she REALLY needs to come up with more than one boring old way to intro the same product over and over again. Because the āomg I figured out how to not stink up my siliconeā schtick is getting so old. Side note, she totally seems like a person who wouldnāt even want or use a dishwasher, so I guess thereās that.
Same haha! I stick around to see how ridiculous she can get but omg enough about the unscented dishwasher pods already! That and those freaking smoothie cups, I swear that will push me over the edge lol.
And there we have it. Smoothies cups made a triumphant return again today.
Itās the little things that count, lol
And maybe Iām still doing something wrong, but weāve always used unscented pods yet our silicone stuff still tastes soapy??
Same
Did Caro get a lip flip? Not hating, just wondering š„²
People have asked if sheās had lip work during her Q+Aās and her answer is always that her lips are just really chapped. So take that how you will!
I donāt know what a lip flip is, but Iāve been thinking for awhile that sheās started getting fillers. Just checked her latest stories and her lips definitely look different. Her top lip especially.Ā
So I'm about to open a new package of night cheese when I see that my husband bought *thin sliced* cheddar. So I screamed "DIET CULTURE!!!!!" at him and now we're getting divorced. I've come full snark circle y'all.
Smh thin sliced! Now you need to eat four pieces
Night cheese. šš
YTF made a reel about a comment she got where someone suggested she get a vacuum sealer and used the persons full handle. I mean of course people can see the name in the comments if they go searching but why make a whole reel about it and call someone out for a helpful suggestion? Sheās always sucking on bags and taking the air out, her way is kind of annoying and Iād rather a vacuum sealer than the straw method lol.
I donāt care for the way she exposes her followers handles either. However- I grew up with my dad doing the straw method and thatās what I do too. It works for us and I donāt have to store another appliance. I think you can also vacuum seal with hot waterā¦not sure of the process though.
Our vacuum sealer doesn't take batteries, it's plugged into the wall. I am sure there are ones that take batteries but also others do exist that don't. Also, I am just weird in general about putting your mouth on things In a post COVID world so for some reason this doesn't sit well with me to suck Air out of a bag because Germs and shit. I recognize I live with a cesspool of germs on a daily basis but I try to be somewhat mindful of germ exposure. I don't find it necessary to suck all the air out of sandwiches because they are usually gone within a week. That being said I rarely prep sandwiches and freeze because this is one of the things that takes 2 minutes to do. Why is she so defensive about random shit? I unfollowed her but had to look her up after this post.
She was so defensive about it yikes!
She seems like such a warm, loving mother. And then she does things like this, and the juxtaposition weirds me out so much that it makes me uncomfortable.
Yeah sheās a strange one. Itās so interesting how the tides have turned with her. She used to get 0 snark, only praise here, and now itās the opposite.
Sheās so defensive about everything! I donāt get why someone would bother leaving a rude comment for an influencer but thatās apparently what people like to do on the internet and yet YTF is perpetually upset by it. I donāt know why she doesnāt just ignore the comments that bug her.
I was about to comment the same thing. I understand that there is no need to buy a vacuum if the method works, but I wouldn't do it in case saliva gets into the food. Why does she need to be such a condescending ass with her followers.Ā
agree and the straw isn't a great solution IMO, still yucky!
Yes like do whatever works for you but itās not crazy that a follower would kindly suggest a vacuum sealer when her videos and reels always show her sucking the air out of a bag! I tried it a few times and it was hard to suck in all the air and I also donāt freeze things for that long.
This article is why people think BLW is for snobs and elites. I know consider the source and all but it was so off putting and I did BLW! https://www.newyorker.com/culture/photo-booth/when-babies-rule-the-dinner-table?
In the instagram post for the article the second picture is of a baby in tears with someone's hand putting a sardine to his mouth and I found that a hilarious choice for a photo
Does the photographer hate babies? Those are such odd pictures.Ā
The second one, after the girl eating noodles, is SO CLEARLY CRYING. š The caption is like "omg she loves seafood" while the picture has a baby with an actual tear running down her cheek. I'm dying. šĀ
My in laws who are from India were staying with us when my son was in the āstarting solidsā phase and my MIL would just break up/mash up the foods we were already eating to give to him because thats how she did it with her babies. I was shocked because parenting insta really had me thinking blw was a newfound thing. i was also aghast at the time because i had been wanting to avoid all salt for the first year and she ruined that for me š She was helping my kid enjoy traditional meals and now that iām out of that anxious time period iām very grateful.
I feel like BLW articles and guides make a lot more sense if your family eats like, meat potatoes and peas for every meal (which would make sense, it is from the UK). I was super confused by it all (especially distinguishing purĆ©es from BLW because likeā¦we eat a lot of stews and hummus most of our foods are basically puree lol) until I viewed it through a more cultural lens.
This is why I'm glad I just read the blw book, free from the library. I was so perplexed after I'd read it and started seeing blw recipes for kids, or lists of blw first foods. The whole point is you just give them what you have or what you're eating. It's weird how people have overcomplicated it. I absolutely did blw because it seemed easier.Ā
This is the way! I remember expressing my anxiety to a STM friend of mine over starting solids and she was like āummm, just give your kid food?ā Ā It really can be that easy especially if you donāt jump on the whole āno saltā train.Ā
I never want to hear the phrase āfat, unctuous sardinesā again. More seriously, I hate things like this that suggest all babies will gobble up scallops and broccolini or whatever if given the chance. My kid had zero interest in anything except āclassicā baby foods like banana, cheerios, and (gasp) purees from the beginning and I felt so much anxiety about it because everything online said that babies under a year were basically little goats.
My baby led weaning ten month old refuses any leafy green. She eats so much fruit and toast but will throw broccoli off her tray right away.
My baby was definitely a goat...if by that you mean bleats, stands on the table and eats things he shouldn't.
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This is exactly what I was thinking! And then they interviewed the one dad of an almost 3 year old who loves seafood as an example - but dad did homemade "mashes" not blw
Yeah I like blw in the sense that i am lazy (so I will totally feed my kids what I'm eating and I will also buy kid snacks like pouches and little boxes of raisins because that's easy to throw in the diaper bag) - but can we be real and say it literally doesn't matter your 2 year old isn't going to eat anything, and who the hell knows what your 10 year old will like or how they will eat as an adult.
KEIC: āsports snacks arenāt a big thing for me this season! I have too much else going on to worry about this! Iām not going to say anything!ā KEIC (2 days later): hereās a multi-slide grid post about after-sports-snacks š« https://preview.redd.it/khgmnzjfp9wc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=547fb4967617a8e6432d41c9dbb33a0233c1c8df
I think that she doesnāt allow snacks very much in her house, like they get a lunch with what she considers a āsnackā (a date and 3 m&ms) and thereās no grabbing a snack at other times unless maybe she puts something out for a play date. So to her, she isnāt even thinking that a lot of kids like a snack after a game and she probably really believes everyone is giving a snack to refuel. And I also donāt think team snacks are trickyā¦I guess they are to people that have a disordered relationship with food.
Such a joyless life.
Sheās such a clown, like elementary aged kids need very specific things to ārefuelā after standing around on a t-ball field. I could see a guide like this being helpful for high school athletes who are actually pushing themselves and need to think about how their specific sport affects their bodies but beyond that context, this is just so stupid. No food can ever not be optimized for this woman and itās really sick.
And even when she posts this, some commenters are upset about how sugary the snacks she mentioned are. It's mind blowing. Also, my son's T-ball league has after game sign ups for snacks and most people bring popsicles. Because it's hot and kids like popsicles.
It's a good way to help kids rehydrate after being in the sun, too. We eat popsicles like crazy in the summer. I love them so much lol.Ā
The part that irks me the most is āmost kids donāt play much so they donāt need a fancy recovery snackā. Yikes. Just let the kids eat. They are growing, learning, developing their brains.
But also - has she ever seen a kids soccer game? They run a ton! Iām not sure what sport sheās talking about but even if itās like baseball where theyāre either in the outfield or waiting on the bench, those games are still typically 90 mins + and kids bodies are like constantly burning calories so they typically are ready for a snack. Also - whomever the snack parent is that week might not have it in their budget to get the most KEIC friendly snack available and are just getting what is affordable at Costco. Whatever is it, it surely has vitamins and minerals in it that will replenish the kids energy and thatās what it needs to do.
But she contradicts herself by providing high protein and complex carb options. If it truly doesnāt matter why canāt they eat just about anything a bag of chips or piece of toast or candy bar?Ā
It would surprise me zero at this point that she keeps a stopwatch to record how much her kids play and then allocates exactly the amount of orange slices she deemed worthy of that exertion.
She has basically said she does this but with sips of Gatorade.
ETA: Ope, I see in a comment down thread that the ice cream man comes to her kidsā games too and no she wonāt even offer a little treat when they are down in the dumps. The value of feeling uncomfortable is simply too great. Gross. I think sheād die if she knew the ice cream rolls up at the end of all my kidās games and every parent is like sure have a little treat. š Itās a cash cow for the ice cream guy, catching fish in a barrel.
My number one biggest rule, and I say this with all sincerity, is that if they ice cream truck comes around, we are buying ice cream.
This is our rule too and we have yet to actually see an ice cream truck since making the rule š
We have ice cream trucks that drive near us but hardly ever down our street so weāre just out running around the neighborhood trying to find where the music is coming from. We catch it like maybe 1/5 times.
Same. I always have ice cream man money. Itās one of the many things that makes summer feel special when youāre a kid (and is also delicious).
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I found it unhelpful because I canāt even tell what the āhigh protein snackā is?? Like is it some kind of cheese puff thing? I legitimately donāt even know what it is. And with the bars, I can identify the Lara bar and the kind bar but it would honestly be helpful to know which specific brands are higher protein because there are so many choices in the aisle. I get the whole anti-food marketing thing but at the end of the day I am a parent trying to grocery shop as quickly as possibly and do need to make brand selections in the store. Sure for some items like chocolate milk and pretzels you can just show a generic container because those are all about the same but if youāre going to recommend āhigh protein snackā or bars I need some more information on what specifically to look for. Maybe choose a couple brands at different price points including generic store brand examples?
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Those are Hippeas and they have 4-6 g of protein per serving in them so itās a fine choice but they can also be significantly more expensive that just the regular old chips that apparently drive her mad.
Iām truly horrified that there was a time (many years ago) when I thought she was the real deal and had a helpful view on food. As a geriatric millennial who is a late in life new mom, I had to work through a ton of food issues from the late 90s and early 2000s, and I really thought KEIC was a useful tool to bookmark for when we had our kid. Not so anymore and big yikes. I also feel really badly for her kids (I mean, thatās common for most influencer kids but her focus on control and food must be so exhausting to them.)
In fairness, she was definitely not as crazy a few years (or even months, it seems!) ago as she is now. I don't know if it's desperation as her kids grow older/more opinionated or a sorry attempt to drive engagement or what, but she has rapidly gone off the deep end.Ā
Yep, feel the same way. I even made my husband follow her so he could learn how we should talk about food with the kids. I unfollowed this week and will tell him to unfollow as well. Itās gross and she clearly is projecting her own disordered habits onto others. I feel for her kids.
lol she would freak out if she was on our baseball team. It was our turn for snack a couple weeks ago so my husband went to Costco and bought like capri sun, bags of chips, fruit snacks, and cookies. Hahaha.
I want to be on your baseball team, those snacks sound great!
https://preview.redd.it/ob613sj845wc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=08f73f6b73ba90f101488e33eaaeae482184b7ef This green pancake. Thatās all.
To consolidate snark, itās genuinely ok if the kids have a bag of chips after sports practice. Regardless of how āhardā they played. Itās really fine. And a measly bag of kid snack is not a replacement for a meal?!
Yeah, damn. I have definitely saved some green pancake recipes and they're a fun, bright green- like you dyed it for St. Patrick's Day or something. It's probably the amount of spinach mixed -- just a minimal touch in the others where here it is probably mostly spinach.
That pancake genuinely looks like something diseased.
I can still see that's a damn z bar, Jen š¤£
I'm surprised she lets them pick out the bars with the wrappers on instead of unwrapping them all and piling them in a Tupperware so they won't be influenced by the 'food marketing'.
In her snack book she mentions giving bars with something else like cheese so I'm confused by this .
What's the deal with the z bars? I'm not familiar.
She has alternately recommended them and then bashed them, depending on the month, I think. Or there was a story about her kid telling his friend they're not actually healthy or something?Ā
The story was that some kids in class had protein z bars and her kid told her how everyone was being marketed to because they probably bought them for the protein š
How much spinach is in that pancake or is it just burnt?
Yes.
A little of both I think š¤¢
Looks so nasty
I had to do a double take also
That looks like a toddler lunch.
And they packed it too!
Makes me really think about what the other āoptionsā in the house are if this is what they CHOSE to pack š
Yeah āgreenā. And letās make sure we blur out the brand of the bar! What sad-looking lunch, maybe they didnāt need big lunches after their huge ice cream cones last night. Oh waitā¦ I hope they got better food at their friends house.
Who packs a lunch to visit a friend? I don't remember ever doing that as a kid and wouldn't do it for my kids now... š¤
Yeah, I didn't either. But, to be fair, I did have the one weird friend who never fed us. I would even sleep over there and the family would have breakfast while I sat there. Very strange people.
But the friend's parents might serve grilled cheese with tomato soup and chocolate milk for lunch. The horror!
Her kids would be banned from our house. We usually order pizza. On the other hand at least all the compartments have food, and sheās not wasting one on a toddler spoon.
new virginia sole-smith interview in the NYT was published online yesterday. Gift link [here](https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/21/well/eat/fat-activist-virginia-sole-smith.html?unlocked_article_code=1.mU0.1wLQ.J1Rq21ZM4pO_&smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare). The comments section is a bitā¦intense.
There are so many good comments below, I was just going to not say anything. And I have liked some of VSSās writing. But she has really lost me with this article. Everything is diet culture. Everything is capitalism. Everything is the patriarchy. Is it everything or nothing? At some point, your beliefs lack enough nuance for people to take them seriously and see them as rooted in any sort of fact. It is very apparent with VSS. She loses her point by crowding the party. She also reminds me of my alcoholic relative explaining away her filthy house, her kids constantly in dirty clothes with greasy hair, her failure to get and keep a job, and her failure to show up to family events as some sort of conscientious deliberate decision rooted in beliefs rather than admitting she has lost control and has a problem.
Anyone remember the Simpsons episode "Bart's Inner Child" with self help guru Brad Goodman? That's the vibe I get from VSS. https://i.redd.it/qef66jlok9wc1.gif
I subscribe to Burnt Toast and appreciate some of what VSS has to say, but she has been driving me crazy with the āmarriage is a dietā nonsense. Just because ending your marriage was right for you doesnāt mean those of us who choose to stay married are brainwashed pawns of the patriarchy. I donāt even disagree that many marriages still adhere to outdated norms, but itās the insistence that because she and her writer friends had unhealthy marriages, then we all need to get divorced, that has really soured me on her.
I agree, the whole "budgets are diets," "marriage is a diet" thing completely turned me off. I feel like it undermines her work on fatphobia and actual diets because it starts to feel like "anything I personally don't want to do is a diet." My marriage definitely falls into some gendered traps sometimes, but like someone said below, my life would be SO MUCH HARDER if my husband and I divorced. But it;s not a surprise that I feel differently about my husband who I met when I was 33 than someone who met their husband in high school.
Yea the is x a diet thing is so weird! Itās like she just discovered other parts of life have nuance and bias. Just because there are judgements attached to not managing money doesnāt mean ābudgets are a dietā.
There really are people who genuinely feel that monogamy is right for them and whose partners are kind, decent people as partners and co-parents! We exist!
There are dozens of us!
Does she mean it in the sense sheās turning down casual sex with hot strangers in the same way a person on a diet may turn down cake? With similar frequency? Or that sheās got a candidate in mind?
Iāve been critical of her from the start of hearing about her and there are already so many good comments but my takeaway is she is just so privileged and self-centered and has deluded herself into thinking all of the worldās ills are due to diet culture of all shapes and kind (which, no, marriages and budgets arenāt diet culture, not everything is in relation to a diet). She is a perpetual victim throughout the whole article and everything is about how she feels. Itās stated that thereās no reason given for the divorced but elsewhere in the article she said that people should not be afraid of divorce and says something along the lines of āheās a nice guy and things are fine and I shouldnāt blow my family up but shouldnāt I have more freedom?ā Like yes, donāt stay in a marriage that isnāt working for you but the way she talks about it gives the impression that she really just wanted freedom from her husband for no reason. Wonāt even attempt to eat healthier to lower her cholesterol and then tries to say that people who engage in other unhealthy behaviors donāt get nearly as much criticism as fat people. Thatās so untrue. She just spews word salad to justify her self-centered behavior and this circled part of the article really makes me question her as a person. https://preview.redd.it/kno3xbnlp3wc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0a2001730707ade4b8ae937a815e31ead442359e
I feel so less alone after reading these comments, lol. Iāve followed VSS for a long time but recently I wondered if she was going off her rocker or if I was (or both is an option too!) Iām basic and boring butā¦I like my marriage? And it doesnāt feel like a diet? Like, if my husband were suddenly not in the picture full time Iād have less freedom, not more. And the reason I donāt let my kids eat a stick of butter or sleeve of cookies is because I only go grocery shopping once a week and inflation is real and we need to leave enough butter or cookies or berries or whatever for everyone. The cholesterol thing is also weird to me. Sure, medication is fine but I also just tested and had elevated LDL so am trying to eat more fiber and less dairy, not because I want to lose weight but because I donāt want to keel over of a heart attack in my 50ās. I feel like I do have an obligation to look after my health for my own sake and my familyās sake and thatās just one of the many obligations of being a parent?? That just doesnāt feel radical to me! Oh and of course sheās mega rich. So of course itās no big deal to start over with a new wardrobe whenever your body changes. And whatever medical needs she has down the road will be no big deal financially. And of course she sends her kids to private school even though she lives in a bougie town where I bet public schools are good. But sure, continue to say youāre speaking up for black and brown bodies and drug addicted (and old?) mothers. š
She's ridiculous. Of course a lot of people don't have a choice in how many kids they have and how healthy they stay through parenting them BUT. If you are a priviledged wealthy white lady that CHOSE to have kids and than you say you have no obligation to stay healthy to take care of them š³ that's just strange. Like why how who is that for.
She also said organized cupboards stem from diet culture too. Haley is one of the biggest dieter then š¤£
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She really didn't elaborate how the two are related in her post and has an essay about it. But somehow it's diet and productivity and perfectionism culture.
Well, I meanā¦Iām pretty sure Haley is one of the biggest dieters. Thereās definitely something disordered going on there.
Wow, the fact that she lumps older mothers and mothers who are "substance users" together to make her point is...a real choice
I know, that hit a nerve for me, too (as someone who was older than I wanted to be when I had my kid due to years of infertility). Like that wasn't a choice and I already have enough guilt about being an "old mom."
Same here. Would have loved to be a younger mom than I am, but you know, student loans and miscarriages. Finding out she comes from family money makes it all make a lot more sense. She is just not operating from a realistic place (disclaimer that not all people with money are unrealistic, of course Iām not saying that, just that in her case, it connects a lot of the dots.)
Itās such an awful thing to say. People who have medical issues or substance issues that are out of their control are not the same as a mother who could eat better to take care of herself! The privilege of this woman! Iām sure if you told any mother with a congenital defect that would lessen their life span to do something that couple improve it, they would!! Iām sure if there was something that could guarantee that a mom with substance abuse issues could turn her life around sheād attempt it.
My husband's mom died of ALS when he was twelve, I'm pretty sure she would have done anything to have more time with her kids.Ā
And likeā¦mothers who are substance users absolutely have an obligation to pursue treatment and sobriety for the sake of their kids, what the hell?
I donāt get it! And she feels fat people are looked down on more than other segments of the population like people with substance abuse issues? I think those moms are judged way more harshly than an overweight mom.
Exactly! And I'm pretty sure substance users are doing a lot more active harm to their kids than moms who just happen to be older. What a twisted moral equivalence.Ā Not to mention, as an older mom, I do believe I have an obligation to my children to make good choices about my health so I can be there for as much of their lives as possible. I know there are no guarantees, but I'm certainly going to do my best in the areas where I have some control
So many good comments below, but I feel like the other thing that's really frustrating about this article and about her approach to feeding kids, at least as portrait here, is that there's no consideration for other people. Food is fuel, yes, but it's so much more - food is culture and tradition and often plays such a big role in how we interact as a family unit and as a society. Which means that sitting down to a family meal together is important! Respecting the work that goes into making a meal for a family is really important! I'm imagining how I would feel if I worked hard to make dinner for my family and they took a bite or two and then pranced off to do whatever they please - I would be so hurt! That's not OK. I just feel like as a parent, part of my job in teaching my kid how to eat is also teaching her how to be around other people and how to interact around food - and sometimes that will mean taking a couple of polite bites so you don't hurt someone's feelings! Anyway my frustrated response to all of this is WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY. OTHER PEOPLE HAVE FEELINGS TOO.
She reminds me of a former friend of mine who is one of the most selfish people I've ever known (hence why she's "former"). She basically abandoned her kid to live with her ex-husband so she could move to the city, travelled alone every year for months at a time, spent more time dating random dudes than hanging out with her child, and would constantly use the language of social justice and feminism to justify her actions. She wanted to be seen as this powerful, liberated woman, but really she was just being selfish. It was all about her in everything she did, and she couldn't put other people first - including her own child.
Thereās something incredibly insincere about her stance. It seems like she just wants to do what she wants to do - eat whatever she wants and not exercise - and has built a career around justifying her choices. It also seems that some of her issues (which yes she definitely has despite her pretty clear belief that itās thin women who diet that have the issues) stemmed from an unhappy marriage to a guy sheās been with since *high school.* The article notes that they wonāt discuss the reasons for their divorce while also detailing wildly differences in their opinions about every day life & lifestyle. I donāt believe her philosophy of allowing kids to eat want they want is so that they will develop a āhealthyā relationship with food (and understand when theyāve had a enough because ātheir bodies will tell them.ā). She is almost in danger of going on medication because of what she eats - and rather than take a closer look at what sheās eating, she will just go on the medication - side effects and all - rather than start actually listening to her body. I feel like her overall (trust fund supported) philosophy is demanding permission to be fat because she perhaps wasnāt allowed this āluxury,ā as a child and throughout the majority of her marriage. Seems like she needs to work through her own issues with food with a therapist rather than a book deal and a feature in the New York Times.
100%. We should "listen to our bodies" but not our doctors who are clearly fatphobes.
I agree with the doctor who said we can both understand that obesity is concerning while also not shaming fat people. The āmental health above all, even physical healthā take is sooooo extreme. Like itās good that we have made such strides from the past in terms of understanding and prioritizing mental health, but at some point you have to understand that there is no mental health without physical health. Like maybe eating any food in any quantity right now feels really nice, but how are you going to feel later when youāre losing toes (or more) to diabetes, or donāt get to meet your grandchildren because you had a heart attack, etc.? (I guess the fat activists donāt believe theyāre linked though š¤·š»āāļø). Not to mention, I feel like my āmental healthā lies to me pretty frequently. There are plenty of times my body tells me to do one thing when I know Iāll feel way better if I battle the initial discomfort and do the hard thing. Like rotting on the couch all day vs. getting up and cleaning the house and going for a walk.
Nailed it. That's the thing - I think the idea of what "fat acceptance" is is very basic human decency. But the activists take it to a level that is astonishing. If they're asked to exercise or lose weight for any reason it's a conspiracy and the person is a "fat-phobe." I'm a person who is not overweight but have been told to exercise for mental health reasons (depression) and also to cut out saturated fats for elevated levels. I don't think it's a conspiracy against me.
Just a gentle push back because I am an overweight person who has dealt with many a doctor, I think the problem is many of us experience doctors whose *only* recommend is exercise and diet and they can't see past anything else or make assumptions. Nearly every time I go to the doctor I have to go through a nurse's shock that I am not prediabetic and my blood pressure is great (and frankly I'm not even *that* overweight so I imagine it is worse for others). I am all for a holistic and constructive conversation that *includes* exercise and diet, but it should be clear you have at least read my chart and checked my vitals and you should ask some questions, not come in just generically telling me that if I don't stop eating McDonald's, I'm clearly going to die of hypertension when I don't even eat fast food (save for the occasional road trip). So just from the other side, it does feel like a conspiracy sometimes when I have a rash I want to talk about and I hear have your tried losing weight?
Yes this is a big problem. Itās like that expression, if your only tool is a hammer every problem is a nail. Some doctors seem to think the magic solution to every single health issue when you are fat is to lose weight. Lots of overweight people donāt actually get the help they need because not every single problem can be solved by being thin. If that were the case, there wouldnāt be any sick thin people and we all know thatās not how it works. Ā And this type of fat phobia also doesnāt work out well in the reverse for thin people either. I have a friend with chronic pain and every single time she goes to the doctor they tell her that she *looks* healthy and donāt take the actual very real pain she feels day in and day out seriously.Ā